Thursday, March 27, 2008

Naomi Campbell and Mass Action Call By ODM Over Safaricom IPO

Kenyan politics is getting rather tiresome and exhausting, especially for yours truly. So let’s start this political post on the fringes.
World super model Naomi Campbell loves the Kenyan Coast and that is where she spent the recent Easter holidays. Kumekuchans will remember that one of the most desirable women on earth had a case in 2006 where she was accused of throwing a cell phone at her maid. The supermodel has quite a temper.
Image result for naomi campbell
Naomi Campbell was In Malindi over Easter and issued a strange statement
This was hardly the first time the volatile Campbell, 35, has been accused of assault. Yet another employee said Campbell threw a phone at her during a tantrum in 2001. Then in 2004, Campbell’s maid claimed that her employer slapped her. Campbell pleaded guilty to an assault charge for beating yet another assistant in 1998. As the Americans say, Phew, some broad!!
But even more fascinating was the fact that during her recent stay in Kenya, Ms Campbell released a statement from her Malindi hideout praising Kenya as a holiday resort and declaring it very safe for tourists. That was excellent PR for Kenyan tourism, especially after what has happened in the last two months or so. But wait a minute! Who organized that publicity?
You will begin to understand what I am driving at when you realize where Ms Campbell was staying and who owns it. She was at the Lion In The Sun Resort in Malindi. A mere weeks stay at this private resort costs 36,000 Euros (don’t bother converting it into Kenya shillings, just know that it is a lot of money, actually close to Kshs4 million).
Flavio Briatore
It is owned by world renowned playboy Flavio Briatore. This man has been linked to the underworld. Need I say more, you all know the kind of Italian crowd that runs Malindi don’t you. My point is that you can be sure that Mr Briatore did not do this kind f favour to the Kenyan government for free. Of course the favor will be returned in some way and I leave that to your imagination. Hint: Mr Briatore is NOT an ice cream magnate.
There have been rumours that Briatore and Campbell are...

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5 comments:

  1. Anonymous3/27/08, 6:34 PM

    The rot in the GOK runs so deep that over the years, they have practically sold an entire city to the Italians. That, my friends is new-colonialism. Malindi and Biwott are two sides of the same coin.

    It is ODM's opportunity to destroy the PNU/Kanu culture of arrogance, corruption and utter impunity. If they are unsuccessful, this country can only go downhill. This is going to test RAO's resolve. Will he be 'appropriated' too? Little did Jaramogi know that his son would inherit such a heavy responsibility. This is more than just a PM role. It is the role of a SAVIOUR for the common Kenyan. Let not the trappings of power dilute Raila and ODM's purpose.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous3/27/08, 8:37 PM

    chris

    allow me to exercise my ignorance on the safaricom IPO on your valuable space and do some "staddy 3" arithmetic

    there are 10 billion shares available or on offer at KES5.00

    assume the 10m voters apply and get equal shares then each person will get 1000 shares (investment of KES5000). but knowing that the IPO is to bail out PNU i.e fund PNU activities (whether its the party or govt) lets assume ODM supporters boycott, then say about 5m PNU guys buy the shares each get 2000 share (invest KES10000). but realistically only about 1m may actually buy the shares about 10,000 KES 50,000. or maybe just about 500,000 pple 20,000 shares @ KES100,000

    one way or another gava/mobitela or whoever the beneficiary will get the KES 50b and they will be x billion richer each.

    that closes that chapter. then comes the real deal, some are under the impression that the share value will rocket to fantabulous highs like KES 50.00 per share. even if that were to happen, anyone who knows the stock market is aware that such gains can take up to 10 years (two duly elected governments). there is also no guarantee about the profitability of safaricom therefore the shares may like KQ stay and KES 7.00 for 6 years or worse still can dip. Remember the third mobile provider has been otherwise hampered from operating and may just be finally able to come into the picture thereby lowering whatever profitability Celnet and Safaricom enjoy as the only two providers with safaricom ofcourse heavily favored.

    bottom line is that kimunya will have successfully carried out a financial coup in financing PNU with gullible and lazy ODMers cash. of course for PNU supporters they will just be contributing willingly or unknowingly to the PNU kitty.

    feel free to mix the numbers to fit the 6.5b shares local investors and 3.5b shares foreign.

    ... the writer is a a thoroughly lazy ODMer, specializing in stone throwing at the stone throwers campus and can be reached via email at mimi ni mujinga at safaricom ipo dot net

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous3/27/08, 9:32 PM

    hi chris me again

    with part 2 of my hopelessly ignorant view on the safaricom ipo

    this part deals with matatu culture or mathreenisation of the stock exchange

    what do i mean? simple! number theory. if a you get a 9 seater mathree, try to fit in 25 passengers. if you get a 25 seater, then try to squeeze in 50 or more etc.

    but what do i really mean?
    well, how did we arrive at 10b shares to represent 25 percent of safaricom? was it an arbitrary value or was it calculated? if it was calculated who was involved, were the other players in the current stock market consulted? apparently, the chief mover (owner) of the stock market (Dyer Blair) and the chairman of stock exchange (oops same people) discussed with finance/treasury (oops same folks again) and voila 10b shares to off-load it is. I put it to you that this was mathreeism, i.e starting with how many people you want to fit into the mathree work backwards with what they can really afford, then spread it out so that you are assured that they will be healthy elbowing in to get to that door first and then employ some touts to man the stage/mathree and everyone is happy, the mathree owner, the passenger, the tout, the deree everyone is soooo happy.

    so evidently safaricom is worth about 200 billion shares or at the same price is worth 1 trillion KES. which automatically means mobitela have with ? no shares now is x billion worth. that is just plain astounding. i dont know what the share volume of the stock exchange is, but that will surely boost the volume. which brings me back to another point. are we so obsessed with quantity, that quality is immaterial. Are kenyans really that gullible? oh yes we are, but thats another issue altogether. can somebody with more horse-sense than myself and more knowledgeable on these stock and finance matters please shed more light.

    please email your views to the author at the rock throwers campus

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous3/27/08, 9:49 PM

    oops correction

    10b shares = 25%
    40b shares = 100%

    assuming a linear relationship
    networth estimated at KES200b.

    is that undervalued, overvalued or realistic projection.

    got carried away in the heat of things

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous3/28/08, 12:02 AM

    knock knock

    stone thrower again

    assuming that mobitela owners acquired their share corruptly meaning for a song (if at all they paid with other looted funds) or most likely just plain looted their shares. then they can now offload their 5% (2billion share @ KES5.00)stake gradually or once off and pocket 10 billion literally from the air. Kweli money grows on trees

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