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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Mugabe Does a Kibaki+Moi on Zimbabwe

As Zimbabwean head to the polls on Saturday, Mugabe has warned Zimbabweans NEVER to dare do a Kenya on him. President Bob has promptly read the mandatory riot act to the opposition warning them of brimstone and hell should they dare protest in the event of losing the elections. Cut from the same cloth, the script is like a cut-and-paste from Major Ali’s warning to Kenyans banning any protest just before last year’s stolen elections? Trust Mugabe and his age mates to know a thing ordinary mortals don't - election results in advance. Theirs is coronation after a national ritual.

African fossils for leaders all behave the same. After inviting hyper inflation to take permanent residence in Zimbabwe 84-year old comrade Bob still considers himself the most expensive gift God bestowed to the Shonas and Ndebeles. A hitherto breadbasket in Southern Africa has been steadily transformed to basket case. With 8 degrees to his name over 100,000% inflation (yes hundred thousand) is nothing but figures to Zimbabwe's tin god.

Robert Gabriel Mugabe is leaving nothing to chance. He is still stuck with the old antics which Moi perfected here in Kenya. Mugabe has ensured none of the two opposition presidential candidates gets his adverts aired even after paying. What is more, no landing for their campaign choppers. But the icing on the theft-in-advance cake is printing 9 million ballot papers for 6 million registered voters. Ole wetu, we never patented the TOP-UP vice, or we thought we did?

Patented top-up
Behind every senile African leader lurks either a deranged or calculative first lady. Mugabe cannot afford to do anything against the wishes of his 37-year old former secretary-turned-wife. Grace Marufu cannot imagine life outside real power at that TENDER AGE. Having a whole Boeing Air Zimbabwe full of passengers wait for ONLY 18 hours as she shops elegantly in Cairo in no big deal either.

Old is really wood, a very expensive timber. Mugabe's 300+ bedrooms palace is worth KES 800m and encircled by TWO man-made lakes. That is obtuse opulence for you in a land where policewomen and soldiers subsidise their paltry income with selling their bodies. No wonder the above half million Zimbabwean dollar isn't enough to buy a banana!

Kenya doesn't have a monopoly to bad political manners. We are in good company albeit of the primitive variation. Political dinosaurs are our bane and we are stuck with them kama kupe as one Ivy loves telling us here at Kumekucha. The services of his Excellency Kofi Annan has never been in such high demand. Na bado.


Anonymous said...

Kibaki tops them all.Yet, a reknown, educated Hypocrite.

Mugabe aint anything.
Kenyans have achieved three (3) genrational feats in such a short time.
1. cock up exam results-this adversely affects some future generations in Kenya.Who cares? Our leaders educate theirs abroad.
2.Safaricom IPO-This will affect the economy for a few years to come
3.Stolen elections and aftermath-this will affect generations to come.Genocide?.No.But communities will find co-existence hard for a few generations.
4.Power chooses no beauty.Lucy, Wambui wa Mwai and Mrs the maths.

Kibaki and Kenya are in a league of themselves.Others affect THEIR generations.Ours is a VISION 2030 phenomena that tranceeds few genarations
What a tragedy?

kalamari said...

You are right my friend, Kibaki has no monopoly on election thievery. I think we all agree that Kenya's episode was a rehearsal of what is just about to happen in Zimbabwe.

The question is, what kind of response will the international community offer this time around? Is Zimbabwe important enough for Koffi to come out of retirement again or will silent diplomacy persist.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

hey, is that real money i saw there? and the owner was buying bananas with at least 2,000,000 zimbabwean dollars hahahahahaha!!ama is he the seller?

Anonymous said...


please do not laugh

soem 10 years back we would hear that a kilo of sugar cost 500 USH (about 50KES at the time) and petrol something like 1000 USH per litre (100KES) and we would break down kivunjaa mbavu style.

now ugandans have the excuse of one Idi Amin. a guy that never sat in Makere or London school of Economics.

Proud Kikuyu Woman said...

The opposition doesn't seem to realize they are pooling a Kibaki, Matina and Odinga against Moi. Hope it doesn't take them 10 years to realize that-as it did us.

Proud Kikuyu Woman said...

Uwi! I meant pulling!

Anonymous said...

Yes that is the sad part of the story, this senile old men we are stuck with them kama kupe, unless there is a divine intervention, you know what i mean, Taabu about their wives it just didn't start yesterday, once upon a time there was a very evil woman in the good book called Jezebel, she turned her husband away from God, and from the people.....You know the repercussion!!! I am sorry to say this but there is one woman in this nation who has almost the same spirit...Guess who? In due season atakuwa fimbo ya Mungu tumwache tu


Anonymous said...

anonymous 8.04,

si kwa ubaya, i think it was the shock of seeing a 500,000 note in broad daylight, held within one piece of!! and the fact that there's a relationship between the words (2 million dollars) and (bananas) in a small carton (not even a farm or a lorry!!).

sorry, i cant help laughing hahahahaha!!

Anonymous said...

Mugabe is the likes of George Bush in Iraq war, spending billions of dollars a month at the expense of American poor people with No health care, homeless and Scarvengers at the Food Banks. The only difference is the Stereotype thing and he is a Blackman.

First, he wants attention on the world stage. Kenyan Style. Who is going to give him attention.
Second, he is senile at the expense of Black African people who does not matter on the face of the world.
Lastly, are we going Global, i mean Globalization i hear, So where are our partners on this or is Zimbambwe NOT a part of the World?
With or without Mugabe, the colonialist owe the Zimbambwe people a great deat and the world is looking, yawning at Zimbamwean people to take charge.

Anonymous said...

i remember in late 90s walking down streets in harare, even bumped into one maina kiai at the time in hiding from authorities for exposing moi sleaze.

the zim dollar was i think 10.00 to 1 US dollar at a time KES 75.00 to the dollar.

reminded me of nairobi in mid 70s, when you could actually if lost, stop the next stranger as late as 9:00pm and s/he would unbelievably stop whatever they were doing to walk you to where you need to get to. no ngeta, no hidden strings. try that anywhere in kenya today.

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