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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Finally Raila And Kibaki Dialogue Together

…….part 2……

The following takes place in private at statehouse between 10 am and 11 am two days after the Kenya National Dialogue and Reconciliation Committee stalled to reach a political settlement on the December general post election crisis

Raila: (bluntly, sounding edgy) look Stanley, this is getting us nowhere… we are going round in circles and it is frustrating

Kibaki: (sighing wearily) I know Amolo; I’ve got the UN, AU, EU and USA bullying on me, but I’ve told them not to make the mistake of putting a gun at my head…

Raila: (interrupting)…..then prove to the foreigners you can share - I want to be a prime minister with 2 deputies and we want powers and duties in a grand coalition government where we get to share cabinet positions

Kibaki: (scowling) ehhhh, have you forgotten? I have already proved once before that I can form a government of national unity, and I even included the opposition KANU into my government… I could do it again but this time….

Raila: (interrupting, speaking in a dark tone) look, I want a quick solution to resolve this issue. We cannot keep talking forever

Suddenly a door partly opens and a full hand clothed in pyjamas inserts itself into the room. The hand, which is lady-like in appearance, smartly makes the gesture of a slap-like motion in the air. As suddenly as the door opens it closes and the hand withdraws and disappears behind the door

Raila: (puzzled) who or what was that?

Kibaki: (oblivious) what are you talking about?

Raila (sounding a little scared) it was like a scene I saw once from that Rambo movie…

Kibaki: (now sounding nervous) hiyo usijali…..


Kibaki: (sounding thoughtful) if you become prime minister, how will all 3 of you be removed from office? In 12…..err….11 months the office will fall vacant when we enact a review….err….new constitution

Raila: (sounding decisive) no, these three offices should only fall vacant if and when the grand coalition fails …you know, kama kazi haiendelei

Kibaki: (suddenly smiling upon hearing his party slogan) yes, kazi iendele! Kazi iende….

Raila: (scowling, angrily interrupting)…..Kibaki tosha! Chungwa ni moja usinisahau mimi…

Kibaki: (suddenly serious) what about my vision? You know I want the economy to grow and the country to achieve 7-8% GDP till 2030

Raila:(slyly) you know, our economy cannot survive political turmoils any longer, and.....

Kibaki: (interrupting, sounding worried) ....wacha! i know Kenya will overcome the current political challenges and get back on the track of development

Raila (continuing slyly) all Kenya needs from you is the political will and in no time we shall have a speedy resolution to this crisis

Kibaki: (distracted, thinking silently to himself......what time is it? Kikwete my agemate is soon coming for tea and i am feeling thirsty)

Raila: (thinking to himself....what time is it?i need to sambazza Nyong'o some credit to sms Balala that the date of those mass actions has changed from 29th to 28th February)

........part 3......


fave of BG said...

Britain calls for the army to take over.

I am not a huge supporter of foreign intervention. BUT, may be this is the only solution to save some African lives.
As you know I am not also one of those 'Kenya unity, patriotism, and oh God of all creation singing retard. I believe the national anthem is just another empty dirge to dead ideals and the flag is an ugly waste of fabric but that is my own opinion...
I believe Kenya is not sacred, it is a couple of lines that were drawn in Berlin and Westminster on the map of a continent no one had visted. If you think otherwise then you have a rude shock coming
But Kenya exists and as of now I have to deal with it. As a structure it is has faulty foundations and should be torn down and thrown to the dogs
But, once more it seems an African country has decided that we need to burn the house to get rid of the louse. I call it natural rectification and social readjustment.
Yes, I am a pessimist

Anonymous said...

The E.U has also issued a statement that those responsible for the stalling of the talks will have to face the consequences.

Whereas the Kenya gvt says it doesnt need much aid, indirect economic sanctions would have a great impact especially on those around Kibaki.

fave of BG said...

It is only hot air from the dictatorship. They need aid and somewhere to hide their anglo leasing loot.It is imperative to note that regardless of what the dictatorship says, No one has accepted the election results as fair.
However, if you trawl the international press, and intelligence briefings for the last 5 years you can see that they have consistently predicted armed attrition in Kenya. That off course is visible,
Now more brave ones are predicting a break up of the nation into several entities.
They are calling Kibaki the Kenyan Musharaff and they really want nothing to do with him. I call him a tinpot dictator, coward and murderer. But off course that is my opinion based on facts.

Anonymous said...


6 March -- Damages of Kenya shillings 500,000 or one-year prison sentence imposed in a Nairobi court on Mburu Muchoki, editor of the tabloid weekly ``The Independent'', for``libelling'' Justice and Constitutional Affairs Minister Martha Karua in a 2004 story headlined``Karua's father in abortion scandal''. The charges were also linked to a story covered extensively inthe Kenyan press alleging an affair between Karua and a Catholic priest, according to localjournalists who stated that Karua never denied the allegations. His lawyer, Nelson Oundun, claimedthat the outcome of the trial was influenced by the fact that presiding Judge Teresia Ngugi is a closefriend of the justice minister. Oundun has appealed but Muchoki has been imprisoned in Nairobi'sindustrial zone because he is unable to pay the 500,000 shillings, which is 25 times the maximumallowable fine for libel, according to lawyer Oundun. Muchoki's imprisonment also contradicted aJanuary 2005 pledge by the government to stop using archaic criminal laws for defamation matters,they said. She won an earlier ruling against Muchoki for the same story, but the judgment of 25million shillings (US$361,000) in civil damages was later invalidated because the prosecution didnot follow proper procedure, according to Oundun. Muchoki is planning to appeal the latest ruling,

but Oundun said ``unusual court delays in publishing the decision'' allegedly linked to Karua's influence, threatened to hinder his appeal efforts. The Independent belongs to the so-called``alternative press'' in Kenya, known for provocative reporting on sex and political scandals

Anonymous said...

Kibaki come back to power and his government has continued with dictatorship, torture and tyranny.

In recent weeks, there have been complaints that police officers are engaging in arbitrary arrests; extra-judicial killings are still prevalent while the security officers have been accused of torturing suspects notably in Kisii5.The Government continues to institutionalize the use of torture, cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment in places of detention.

The police have also been accused for use of torture to extract confessions from criminal suspects. According to a recent reports released by human rights organizations, torture,extra-judicial execution and mob justice accounted for a total of 574 deaths in 2004/2005 alone.
In 2004, fifty-eight prisoners where reported dead at the Meru GK prison in a span of 6 months. In another incident five prisoners were battered to death by prison officers at the same facility in mysterious circumstances.

The main causes of death were gunshot wounds (40%) occasioned by the police followed by blunt force trauma (36%). In several deaths caused by the police and other state agents, the reports points to a systematic and endemic mass execution by police of criminal suspects. In 2002 to 2005, a total of 1432 torture cases were reported to various organizations. Most of those who reported torture alleged to have been violated during arrest (60%), and 28% accounted for those tortured while in custody, and a staggering2% were cases that occurred at home.

Anonymous said...

Kenya will never know genuine peace until its constitution is radically altered.

Anonymous said...

Kikuyu, Luo, Luhya, Kisii, KALENJIN, not to mention all the other tribes,when mentioned i feel like vomiting.

Kenya should be an African nation that we have known for years, unlike Somalia, Rwanda, Sudan,Ethiopia, Uganda and mother fucker Liberia.

Anonymous said...

I don't know why people are struggling to find out who stalled the talks....Pls look no further the only one responsible is the only man, yes the only man in PNU by the name of Martha Karua......Yes and i said here it was a mistake to include her/him in the talks.....I wonder who was the head of the house....Martha or Njoka...No wonder Njoka couldn't stand her


Anonymous said...

People will always protect their own interest and unfortunately a majority of KIKUYUs do it at any expense. I think it's better to have Kenya divided, i'm not against all Kikuyus but I think they don't beleive in EQUAL SHARE. THEY WOULD RATHER KILL THAN SHARE THE NATIONAL CAKE

Anonymous said...

Yes, perhaps it would be best if certain people seceded from Kenya.

If you are unwilling to share the cake, then leave the house and bake your own elsewhere.

Why on earth would one wish to continue governing Kenya with the draconian constitution we have tried to change for years?

Anonymous said...

Domo, domo, domo. What does "sharing the cake really mean"? Cede power to Raila Odhiambo Odinga? I come from 450km off the foot of Mt. Kenya but I would rather be called a Kikuyu (one of the most unintelligent people I have ever seen in my entire 23 years of existence). If ceding power to Raila Amolo Odiga is the new measure of willingness to 'cake-sharing', I choose to henceforth put up with the highly unenviable tag of being Kikuyu. It is an insult but one that I am willing to accept.

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:21 You are not getting it ...If we are ceding power to Raila, we are not looking for your opinion, coz you will not be part of it, we will not even give you an option to choose where you want to belong, you will definately be on the other side "Lesotho" and there you will have your favourite Kibs as your president. And we wont care if you want to make him your president for life you are free to do so...Shauri yenu
By the way the feeling is mutual and that is why we have rejected Kibs the same way you have rejected Raila

Anonymous said...

and then again!
If the Annan talks fail...the government will definetly be blamed.PNU says its a Kenyan Problem which needs a Kenyan solution! What then is that solution.!.do we return where we were before Annan came.
Remember THE ELECTION WAS STOLEN-on LIVE TV!...apparently a certain community allied to the THIEF- through DIALECT ONLY refuses to accept the reality on the is sad they are ready to spill even their own blood and DESTROY their country due to ONE TRIBAL HYENAS GREEDY AMBITIONS.!Kibaki and his fellow GOONS led by MARTHA- PITHECUS we have said hundreds of times WERE NEVER INTERESTED IN THE TALKS...IN THE FIRST PLACE!
ANNAN is it looks is fed up with PNU NONSENSE....they are probably content this HURRIED PRESIDENT is disasatrously the commander in chief of our trustworthy forces!
The more the talks are delayed ,the more TENSE this country becomes....GENOCIDAL GENERAL ALI and his troops are too few to avert the impending disaster being carefully groomed by PNU!
The bomb that will destroy Kenya has been activated..perfectly set-up by PNU...its just a matter of time!

Anonymous said...

fave of bg!! today you are on fire!!! i agree with your 7.35 post right down to the fullstops!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Stolen election was no excuse to kill people and burn their homes. Why is it so hard for ODM to understand that? If ODM really cared about Kenya, they would have also tried to sue the GOK for not protecting those people but nope! they care about the handful of looters shot in the act of burning beopel's business and looting shops. That is the outrage.

ODM lost it when they failed to make a case on rigging. That was the only grivance they had. They are guilty of ethnic cleansing and therefore unfit to rule. If Kibaki rigged it is not for KTN to declare him guilty, it is a court of law.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:31am

This is about the 60% of Kenyans who cant afford 2 meals a day. This is about Kenyans who have been subjected to economic apartheid and neglect bcoz they are not GEMA.This is about a rotten constitutional system that protects the elite and oppresses the rest of us.

The stolen election was just the last straw that broke Kenya's back and unfortunately the only means that pple had to express their more than 40 years of frustration was thru violence against those who have benefitted from the status quo.

The time will come when the lights of u will not be able to withstand the wrath of the hopelessness and frustration that Kenyans feel

Anonymous said...

Guys, I have been that road of Kikuyu and believe you me I don't think it is the case. Sure people are divided, but as you can see it is increasingly becoming clear this has nothing to do with Kikuyus. It is about Kibaki, Michuki, Karua and ilk (including the page boy Kalonzo and his sidekick Mutula). So don't blame the Kikuyu.

Seceding is not an option. Not only are we so mixed up in Kenya but trust me even where to draw the border on the 'new republics' will then be an issue and they will want the border to be drawn till Narok, Burnt Forest, Naromoru, Isiolo (and there you thought it would run along Central province!)

I have said it and will say it again. We just need 3 things.
1. Know the truth about what happened last year. Independent international investigators with local aids from both sides should work on this
2. Make electoral reforms that will prevent a repeat of 1 and any other inconsistencies noted from 1 above
3. Hold elections in 2 years time

With that, I don't care if Kibaki remains president for the 2 years. I don't care who he appoints. I don't care if he is let to run again.

We will then choose whoever we settle on on the agreement of carrying out the reforms we want. If he doesn't deliver, heck, we just show him again who is boss, using the BALLOT. Until we get a true servant of the people.

Ole Seki

Anonymous said...


We either sort this our by negotiating or sort it out later on the streets.

And Please LET NO ONE act a FOOL and pretend that PNU is taking us anywhere other than to the grave.

fave of BG said...

@ mrembowaodm
I think, with PNU we have to take gloves off. Sincerely, you can not negotiate with a bunch of people who feel superior to you. If you complain you are a tribalist, if you do not you proof them right that you are dumb. It is damned if you do, damned if you don't. The failed talks are an example, they agree to one thing and over the weekend when drinking at Muthaiga, they change their minds.
anon@2:31 AM is a perfect illustration of PNU-speak/thought. I, abhor violence but accept it as no stranger to human interactions ever since. The blogger at 2.31am forgets that most of the deaths have been caused by police in western Kenya (43%), he wants ODM to take PNU to a court full of Kibaki cronies to accuse Kibaki's murderers (police) of murder. That is only done in the land of fools, were are not fools, maybe 'lazy' but not fools. Still on the post election deaths. If we look at the remaining 57% of take out the government militia (Mungiki) share, police killings in other parts of the country and you can see the part that we can call 'ODMs' 'responsibility' but who is crying loudest of being hurt? PNU. folks see what you are dealing with
The blogger furthermore calls for ODM to 'try' yes, people, 'to try!' to sue the GOK for not protecting those people who were killed where is the legal precedence for that? and sue kibaki in a kibaki court? and ODM have a case lodged in the Hague if he is interested. And why does he not sue himself since he has such 'nice' ideas.
I won't even comment on rigging and elections courts which take over 5 years to resolve cases.
Finally, he accuses ODM of being guilty of ethnic cleansing that is a tired PNU line that no one has bought. SO, the tragic deaths in Eldoret are ethnic cleansing, but the deaths in Naivasha as police watched are not ethnic cleansing? huh, and were any members of the Kikuyu community killed in Kisumu? or Kakamega or Bungoma. PNU is full of pure unadulterated hogwash always crying crocodile tears. Come to think of it crying crocodile tears is not hard if you have Martha Karua's eyes

Anonymous said...



AM SORRY BUT YOU CAN EITHER BE INTERHamwe militia thug or be MLK but you cant be both

comeone please go tell raila this

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:31 Shooting people on the pretext that they were looting has never been passed as law.....What is so hard for the PNU police to understand that?
What was so hard for PNU to understand that 2 wrongs dont make a right...What abt the children and women that were burnt in Naivasha....What is so hard to understand about that? The outrage we have is that Kibaki stole the elections and thus diminishing the hopes that Kenyans wanted....What is so hard with you to understand that someone stole a cow and that the owner of the cow is willing to share 50:50 but the thief is till playing hard ball...This is not the time
It is not KTN that said Kibaki stole......Surelly even a 6 year old who answered that Kibaki is a former president of Kenya know that JKibaki and his cronies stole the elections
Annan is wondering right now that the major county councils are being led by ODM and yet The likes of you have the audacity to tell us that he won...Pls for crying out loud that Kibaki the loved but PNU aspirants they hated.....Election was abt change and many kenyans are disillusioned right now apart from you and a diminishing minority of Kenyans...
ODM were supposed to sue Kibaki where? To Evans Gicheru...Pls hear yourself


Anonymous said...

Anon 3:05 where did Raila justify children being burnt in a church...I think you suffer from listening to Martha Karua, i repeat the only man in PNU outrageous remarks...usamehewe

Anonymous said...

why are we so hell bent on sticking together, there is a difference in ideologies between the two sides, one believes that imposition, theft, and killing are justified, the other(Read - Majority- even Kaos now are seeing the light of their so called brethen from the 'slopes') believes in at least some democractic ( Read -Some) principles. It is time to "Lesotho" them, so that they can pander, worship, kill, steal, circumcise, shout kihii from the TOP of "Mt. KIRININYAGA" for all we could care and leave the rest of the "lazy" folks alone.

Anonymous said...

anon 7:53

agree fully, and as the moses said to the pharoah

let my people go

but the pharaoh was hard of heart

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