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Monday, February 25, 2008

Finally Kibaki And Raila Dialogue Together

The following takes place in private at statehouse between 10 am and 11 am one day after the Kenya National Dialogue and Reconciliation Committee stalled to reach a political settlement on the december general post election crisis

Kibaki: (cheerfully) Hi Amolo! how are you?

Raila: (hurt voice)….eh! Emilio, how do you think i am!?

Kibaki: (puzzled) ngoja! hakuna haja......tuko hapa sasa

Raila: (slightly happier) yes, just the two of us (suddenly suspicious) is this room tapped?

Kibaki: (laughing).....hapana.... (suspicious suddenly) are you tape recording us?

Raila: (laughing) of course not


Both men awkwardly embrace one another, secretly feeling for tape recorders

Kibaki: (first to break away) haya basi....kazi iendelee....

Raila:(following suite to break away) haya Kibaki, tosha....

a door suddenly opens and Dr.Annan pokes his head into the room

Annan: (sounding deeply disappointed) eminent gentlemen, now is the turn of you two personalities; you must reach an agreement on the governance of this country in 48-72 hours

as silently as he opened the door Dr. Annan's head disappears as he closes the door

Kibaki: (frowning) i was going to commend him for doing a good job-i wanted to ask him for tea as he is my age mate

Raila: (puzzled)

Raila: (abruptly changing the subject) do we agree in principle on creating a prime minister's post and sharing cabinet positions?

Kibaki: will it withstand the test of time? Will it enhance national cohesion, economic prosperity and stability?

Raila: the problem I have is you have such immense powers

Kibaki: (smiling) I know but what can I do/? Its in the current constitution

Raila: we need to revise the constitution

Kibaki: (hesitantly)…in 12 months maybe, yes

Raila: i want to be prime minister now-with two deputies

Kibaki:(sigh grudgingly) ok, ok-i will appoint all 3 of you, and together you can co-ordinate the performance of my government and....

Raila: (tone suddenly serious) i want executive power

Kibaki: my offer is non-executive...

Raila: i don't want to be the civil service head i want teeth and responsibilities

Kibaki: you know we could sign an MOU…

Raila: (rushing quickly) no

Kibaki: (puzzled) ok, how about some sort of gazette noti....

Raila: no

Kibaki: (more puzzled) ok, an act of parliament maybe, or...

Raila: (brightening) yes, parliament…..

Kibaki:(smiling) you see? We can agree after all! Now, as YOUR duly elected presid...

Raila: (rudely cutting in) i want security of tenure...


Raila (continues in loud voice)...and i want a say on cabinet appointments....

Kibaki:….. skiza kwanza

Raila: (continues)....and I want to quit only when parliament is dissolved or a majority passes a resolution


Kibaki: (thinking silently to himself) - these we can do without amending the constitution…..)

Raila: (thinking silently to himself)-I think he is thinking these we can do without amending the constitution

Raila: (speaking out loud) how long again did you say before we can revise the constitution?

Kibaki (thinking silently to himself…eh?! how did he know what I was thinking? What powers from Nigeria……?)

Kibaki (speaking out loud) 11 months now….we are in March already

Raila: (thinking silently to himself… (Let Nyong’o know mass action from 29th this month)

Raila: (speaking out loud)….. okay

......part 1.......


Anonymous said...

when does the indecently dressed (pyjama) mad woman appear? and is it annan or RAO whose head will come into contact with the open palm

Anonymous said...

Interesting literary piece.

Pity Kenya is about to be plunged into chaos yet again.


Anonymous said...

I think maybe this is ok - kibaki wanted all the cake and now he will have none!! sometimes as history has shown as repeatedly those who are greedy and want it all end up remaining with nothing!!maybe this is the way God is speaking to kenyans- that 50/50 is not good and not to negotiate with a thief!!
sweep him out of the door and start afresh- it is indeed a blessing in disguise- !!that is my take on the situation! he who wants it all gets nothing in the end!!

Anonymous said...

Newsflash !!!!!

Kibaki asked Museveni to be ready to cross over to help him control the situation and got a rude shock!! he was informed then the super powers will jump in to protect the will of the people- "it is called free for all" now guess who will win?? kibaki and Museveni against who??
I'm sure the 71 year old is scratching his head- he didn't see that one coming all along he has maintained that it is an African affair!!he was wrong!!
let the games begin- cards are on the table now- chess game-next move is Kibaki's!!!

Anonymous said...

anon 7:59

sounds interesting would you have a newsbyte/link to share?

Anonymous said...


Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Action Point - Truth Prevalence or Lack thereof
PNU and Kenya Government need to rise up NOW! If they can’t find any in their midst, hire the worlds top guns in the field of public propaganda and media savvy-ness. Media Perception needs to be TOP of everything. Get the truth out in all the media and those who refuse to carry the story, pay for the adverts! That should be done in ALL the media outlets, with intensity especially in the neutral and ODM areas. The Goal is to inject doubt on the ODM victory in preparation of the TRUTH coming out. Insist on results from the PNU media strategy think-tank. They are being paid for results.

Action Point – Publicly Challenge ODM
Rather than just pay for Adverts seeking the truth and challenging Raila and ODM, these are the very exact questions Kibaki; yes the President himself. And he needs personally ask those questions on national TV and Radio. He needs to keep saying the same things over and over in English (Yes, English, his Kiswahili awful). Arrange for well publicized press conferences with question and answer English. The man is extremely eloquent and needs nobody to write speeches for him, as long as he does them in English. Others around him can do the Kiswahili versions on his behalf. Then let him mention and challenge Raila and Ruto by name. Yes challenge them personally and put them on the defense. Other PNU and PNU friendly officials go after their counterparts in ODM. Kibaki takes the challenging lead role and others follow. Let Kalonzo talk peace and show dictatorial tendencies of the entire ODM leadership and hence his jumping ship with ODM-K. Make public tours and repeat the same challenges over and over.

Action Point - ODM Rigged Big time
Get folks in ALL suspicious ODM areas where the vote was stolen in favor of ODM to file petitions in court. Prevail on the courts to move with speed and urgency to nullify the elections if the voters are indeed dead or could not have voted. This is a public safety issue and public security. Give it top priority. Hire more Judges if necessary to handle other cases while the more respected and experienced judges handle the election petitions. This is part of the negotiation ODM is pretending to ask for - speedy resolution of election cases.

Action Point - Preaching Peace
Get ALL religious leaders and community leaders preach UNITY like NEVER before. For example, get popular pop stars, local and international to participate in peace rallies. So what the government pays for them directly or otherwise. It’s about endearing the masses for the sake of peace. Get the Muslim leaders to condemn violence. Islam is a peaceful and compassionate religion, not the radical fundamentalism painted by the west. The government should embrace and echo that fact over and over. Have interdenominational prayers by all major religions. Condemn ODM style violence and senseless loss of life. Use Burnt Forrest as an example - always.

Action Point - Demonize Majimbo
Make MAJIMBO synonymous with VIOLENCE and discrimination and an excuse for wanton destruction of life and property. Mount similar campaigns like those by ODM and condemn violence and insist on peace and amicable resolution of disputes in courts. Get all the top-guns to go for peace and ONE nation, One Country under the rule of law NOT lawless disputes on the streets as rallying points. Always mention Majimbo on the same sentence with Raila, Ruto and Chaos and loss of life. Show that it is a hate campaign designed to bring chaos. Repeat the church burning and tossing of the 3yr old as what Majimbo means. We are all brothers in one family called Kenya. Show how Kibaki has been all-inclusive president but was railroaded by a disgruntled minority after the referendum to snatch power illegally. Drum it in, over and over.

Action Point- Act on Corruption
Get all those corruption cases on the likes of Ruto, Mudavadi and Murungaru on fast track. Show that ODM is a worthy opponent with good points but those good points are being tarnished by corrupted individuals. Name them by pointing to corruption cases. Make them pay for the corruption. Please the West that cries for corruption cases and jail terms. Kosgey and Ruto should be first closely followed by other dirty individuals even in Kibaki camp. The country is much more important than a few rotten but friendly eggs. The point is to be seen to be taking action on corruption…remember the perception factor?

Action Point - Act on Violence Masterminds
With the Intelligence on hand, prosecute RUTO, Alexanda Sitienei and accomplices on RV clashes. Damage has been done in RV so, no worse could happen with the Kalejin vote. Get others on incitement charges. Make tribal clashes look REALLY BAD AND BARBARIC. Let everyone frown on the primitive nature associated with it in this day and age. Several people must face the law and indeed long jail terms, really long. They should be highly publicized cases.

Action Point - Public Thoroughfare
Make blocking public roads look so bad and make bandits blocking such roads as economic saboteurs and potential murderers and robbers. They are basically criminals up to no good. The motive for such closures is always to cause trouble, rob, maim and even kill in the mayhem. Execute shoot to kill orders for blocking roads. Move with speed. (Try blocking I-95 in the US with barricades and see what will happen, human rights will be forgotten!)

Action Point - Increase the Police Force
It’s a known fact that in Kenya, the police and armed forces in general are seriously outnumbered per capita (to the general public) going by world standards. Hire extensively and fast track police training to maintain peace. Have local policing to maintain peace and above all avoid local thuggery. Borrow a leave from the extremely functional Tanzanian policing system: Security is everyone’s concern; national police is a supplement to help the locals as they maintain and manage peace, not the other way round as it is in Kenya.

Action Point - International Mediation
Invite International mediators and show the facts and especially as they favor the government side. If for instance President John Kafour was railroaded with un-orthodox documents out of character and disingenuous procedures, let the government have President Kafour talk about it to the world media. Let the Kenya public hear it over and over again. Have public debates on it. Always focus and shape the public debate in PNU favor. Never play catch up to the opposition. Senior government officials participating in such talks should give a public report as much and as often as necessary. You know the opposition will rush with biased information, act to beat them in the press game.

Action Point - Look to the future
With VP Kalonzo secure on the government side, let him take the lead in the Peace initiatives with the President taking a commanding role and being publicly visible. Have an internal move to put ODM-Kenya and PNU friendly parties into one. This becomes a HUGE advantage to Kalonzo who should be preparing for the 2012 Presidential elections. Get the Coast and Western Provinces fully behind the new unity party, whatever its name. DO NOT RELENT on the Media and wooing the youth in the new-Kalonzo unity initiative. Always give a forward looking, confident, inspiring and highly optimistic future with the young fully incorporated.

Action Point – Keep Central Out of the limelight
Central and GEMA tribes, the so-called Mount Kenya Mafia are Kenya’s favorite punching bags in the political arena. Keep the GEMA group in crucial supportive roles behind the scenes. Kamba and other non-GEMA tribes to be seen leading the imitative but not prominent in its formation. Have GEMA 100% behind Kalonzo with Western Kenya, Coast, N. Eastern and Rift Valley prominent in the new unity outfit. With such Strong unity and a corruption free progressive government, ODM will be struggling. Kalonzo should take that lead with public blessings of the president. With KANU left as a skeleton, a single strong united party, extremely disciplined should be the force required to confront ODM in the coming and inevitable battles in parliament and public Perception.

Action Point – The Raila Factor
Get the public talking about loss of life in the abortive 1982-coup attempt and the Dec 27, 2007 election aftermath. Connect the dots with public utterances on Raila to mean disgruntled, willing to kill and circumvent the law for leadership sake. The ODM adherents went with the winning propaganda party that looked like it would win with GEMA as the poster boys of ridicule, and it worked. Never relent on the violence and Raila’s desire to be president whatever the cost, including loss of life. Do whatever it takes to turn tables around for all to embrace each and all, irrespective of tribe. It can be done!

Action Point – The Youth Factor
The Youth must be incorporated in this new unity initiative. It needs to be fashioned in such a way to look like it is the Youths initiative, progressive, non-tribal and chic! If a young person has to be progressive and forward looking then one has to be made to be spearheading the new initiative that truly condemns and shuns violence and dismiss it. Strengthen the Women and Youth Development funds. Give credit to the Government.

Action Point – The Western World Motive
Insist on the motive for the Western government to ridicule and point a finger at Kibaki. Show publicly with convincing figures and graphs what the West lost in terms of no-bid government contracts with business moving to China. Show how they refused to support Kibaki after the contracts were cancelled. Show high tax collection and how it has been put to excellent use. Show budget supported by 95% local revenue. Show development was across the land before the violence. Show pictures of before and after. Show the West motive is to subjugate and domineer the poor countries and Kibaki managed to break free. Breaking free meant that the rest of the Poor countries were being shown the way forward by Kenya, and that the West can’t afford that. Show the WTO policies and how Eastern facing by Kibaki (Read China) is bad for the West and Great for Kenya and poor nations. Bring the contradictions of Raila courting Muslims by day and the West by night.

All the actions should be thoughtfully timed with the public debate always insisting on peace and progress. Encourage others to acknowledge the Kibaki splendid record. YOUTH MUST of necessity, be at the core of the all these initiatives. After all, the future of the country (and indeed the kingdom of God) belongs to such as these young… Actually work has been cut for PNU side: just use the now infamous ODM Poll Strategy document only this time for positive outcome. Use similar SWOT analysis and above all, have the outcome ACTED upon. Swing this thing around using their weapon, clearly thought out action plans with specific goals and objectives with action-oriented operatives.

This is serious business to be executed corporate style. No roadside or broadside statement declarations. No statement to be issued unless approved by the core think-tank. It’s a high stakes game by very senior management professionals.

Anonymous said...

dont you just love PNU arrogance

"This is serious business to be executed corporate style. No roadside or broadside statement declarations. No statement to be issued unless approved by the core think-tank. It’s a high stakes game by very senior management professionals."

Anonymous said...

is this conversation fact or fiction?

Anonymous said...

Raila should take the job of "inspector of ministries..AKA class prefect.." or just shut his big mouth!

Anonymous said...


Despite keeping details of his private companies under lock and key, investigations reveal that Kibaki and family own shares in various blue chip companies trading at the Nairobi Stock Exchange. It is estimated that the Kibaki family controls an investment empire worth as much as Shs 2 billion.

Apart from investing at the Nairobi Stock Exchange, it is said that the family has also invested heavily in farming, owning huge farms in several parts of the country. Among these include one in Nakuru, a ranch in Naro Moru area near Nanyuki, farming interests via a holding company in Mweiga and in his rural home in Othaya.

Apart from having family business, records show that during the early 80s, Kibaki teamed up with the likes of former president Daniel Arap Moi, former powerful Attorney General Charles Njonjo and formed and investment company which they named Heri Limited.

It is said that the company invested heavily in property with its flagship properties such as Norfolk Towers, College House and Kolobot Gardens. The company also invested heavily in quoted securities at the Nairobi Stock Exchange (NSE) and was for many years among the top 20 shareholders of ICDC Investments (now Centum Investments), Nation Media Group, Jacaranda Hotel, Standard Chartered Bank, Lonrho Motors East Africa, Housing Finance Company and the Barclays Bank, Clarkson and Southern Ltd and Taisho Monarch Insurance Company.

It is also said that Kibaki also has an interest in International House Limited, the company associated with businessman Chris Kirubi and the one that owns the prestigious International House.

It is said that even when Kibaki fell out with Moi and Njonjo their business links remained intact and sustained by the fact that they operated mainly through investing companies. This arrangement meant that the did not have to meet in order to transact business since the firms were run by hired professionals and all that the shareholders did was to wait for their dividend cheques.

Another company associated with Kibaki is African Liaison & Consultants Services Limited (ALCS). According to financial analysts, today African Liaison is among the major shareholders in such public quoted companies as CFC Bank, Barclays Bank of Kenya, CMC Holdings as well as Heritage Insurance Company.

For political survival Kibaki is said to have not only relied on family business to finance his campaigns, he has since his first attempt on the presidency in 1992 elections relied on a network of wealthy businessmen and professionals. Some of the big names include Joe Barage Wanjui, the Chancellor of the University of Nairobi. He is fabulously wealthy and owns a huge stake - together with business magnate Chris Kirubi - in UAP Provincial Insurance, one of the largest Insurance companies in the region.

Another big name is that of Nathaniel Mbugua Kang'ethe who runs the MCL Saatchi and Saatchi. He also runs Kang'ethe and Associates and IA Consulting Kenya Ltd. Also in the list of those who have been giving Kibaki financial support is Jeremiah Kiereini who ahs a considerable stake in Unga Group Ltd, CMC Holdings Group of Companies and CFC Bank Ltd. Others are cabinet minister John Njoroge Michuki who is also the owner of the exclusive Windsor Golf and Country Club. Eddy Njoroge the Managing Director of KenGen, Peter Tiras Kanyago, the head of the multi-million giant freight-forwarding firm, Express Kenya Ltd, and East Africa Elevator Company (OTIS). He is also the chairman of Toyota Kenya Foundation. Others are former Defence Minister Njenga Karume who owns the country's largest beer distribution firm.

Anonymous said...

pnu master plan is facts I just had a chat with a PNU source!!he said read it closely and you will notice most of the things written in this pnu bible has been implemented!!

That brings to mind the blog machines
the youths or rather every blog since january has been singing the same song! genocide- barbaric church burning- Ruto and Raila killers - Raila and power- it is like they all read the same script???

very calculated hate drive!! and to think they paid top $ to advocate hate and ethnic backlash!! I'm a Kikuyu and I have lost respect for them!!!I'm sick to my stomach


Anonymous said...

We wacha....Watch the space...Eugene Wamalwa the poet siad you'd rather eat a half loaf of bread with peace, rather than have a whole loaf and you don't eat it.....Kibaki stole elections from the wrong generation


Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

Anonymous 6.32, I totally agree with your comment only that the characters are reverssed. Mtaka yote hukosa yote. Someone is going to emerge out of this whole waste of time empty handed and looking foolish--as ever.

Anonymous said...

people are you reading what i have just read on here??PNU master plan?? think back and remember them playing with the media!!Martha karua on BBC claiming ethnic cleansing!!now we know where the passage come from!!"quote keep repeating the word genocide and cleansing- let it sound barbaric "
This pnu people are a sick lot- how do they get away with such a sick campaign?? how many people died?? because of this hate campaigns-

After I read some comments from one of the posts here regarding PNU bloggers - I went through several blogs and it is true they all seem to be reading from the same script- this is sad and horrible- many Kenyans lost their lives because many believed in this propaganda and can you imagine they were paying for this??? I have read their master plan 3 times and the pattern of what has been happening is right in our faces

This people(PNU) were never going to share the power- they were are already armed to spill more innocent Kenyan blood!!
some should pass this to KOFFI ANNAN to show him that pnu was actually playing everybody to the expense of all Kenyans-
I have forwarded it to some foreign entities - to pass it along- I'm very angry - I'm a Kamba and \I'm upset with Kilonzo for allowing himself to be used because of his own selfish reasons and greed......

Anonymous said...

I don't thick so!!after reading the PNU master plan BIBLE kibaki has a lot to answer to- i can't even imagine where to begin!sincerely he is not fit to lead kenya ever again- someone who incites people with hate and using the youth to pass the message which then gets them inflamed because they look up to him for direction?? he is a sick man - him and his cronies belong to a nut house!!

ati keep repeating genocide ?? what the hell no wonder all those kids come out with panga's to unleash on un- prepared innocent Kenyans in places because their leader kept inciting them-

quote "use the youth to pass the messages"" and un- suspecting foolish kilonzo on the front line to preach peace!! how evil can people be??

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous 6.32, I totally agree with your comment only that the characters are reverssed. Mtaka yote hukosa yote. Someone is going to emerge out of this whole waste of time empty handed and looking foolish--as ever.

Anonymous said...



QUOTE ""YOUTH MUST of necessity, be at the core of the all these initiatives. After all, the future of the country (and indeed the kingdom of God)""" quote

then they play the kingdom of god card??

"""Get the Muslim leaders to condemn violence. Islam is a peaceful and compassionate religion, not the radical fundamentalism painted by the west. The government should embrace and echo that fact over and over.""""


""""Make tribal clashes look REALLY BAD AND BARBARIC. Let everyone frown on the primitive nature associated with it in this day and age."""""


Anonymous said...

All above anons' how did you lose sight of the interesting post by Luke or is it a ploy to divert attention of Kenyans from the real issues???

Anonymous said...

PNU has few supporters that is why they will capitalize on hate and Kill agenda but they have to be wary of getting the whole community blacklisted as it has started. Most PNU blogs never talk about the rights of the suffering citizens on any day. They are against people fighting for their rights and wondering why they think they are above the law whilst the rest of the country is complaining is disturbing.

All in all PNU can mostly use government resources to carry out the above plan, they have no street credibility and I do not see them getting the youth to do any dirty job unless they are the ones just hired inti NYS.

Kheng.Fu said...

What hurts me most is these guys oppressing us NOW were the same ones we braved teargas for boycotted lectures for, had our backs broken for while in college!!! what were we fighting Moi for if this is the result!

Anonymous said...

After reading all your entries I have discovered, a high level of paranoia. What is paranoia?

Paranoia is a term used by mental health specialists to describe suspiciousness (or mistrust) that is either highly exaggerated or not warranted at all. The word is often used in everyday conversation, often in anger, often incorrectly. Simple suspiciousness is not paranoia--not if it is based on past experience or expectations learned from the experience of others.

Paranoia can be mild and the affected person may function fairly well in society, or it can be so severe that the individual is incapacitated. Because many psychiatric disorders are accompanied by some paranoid features, diagnosis is sometimes difficult. Paranoias can be classified into three main categories--paranoid personality disorder, delusional (paranoid) disorder, and paranoid schizophrenia.

You people stop being played by the likes of salim lone and Prof. "Mass action" Nyongo. This document you call "PNU bible" has been crafted to excerberate your anxieties of what you should not be expecting. Power
Please take control of your lives and resume normal and healthy lifestyles and everything will be OK.
I suggest you start by having enough sleep a minimum of 7.5hrs and avoid reading any sensational journalistic material on RAILA, RUTO, KIBAKI, PNU, CLASHES or ODM for that matter. This will help you alot.
Thank you

Anonymous said...

Kenya has never known and will never know true peace under the current constitution.

The executive must be diluted and the review process must start with a power sharing solution entrenched in the constitution.

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