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Sunday, January 20, 2008

Feigned Courtship: A Lady's Woe

You bet I know what I am talking about here. I am miffed by the way some men treat ladies. You may throw all Beijing 'blue blistering barnacles' (remember Captain H*** in theTintin comic!) my way but I'll still hold my ground, look you in the face and tell you what I don't like!

Some men take advantage of the 'men-are-as-old-as-they-think; women-are-as-old-as-they-look' saying. They 'know' that looks to women are like shells to snails – they will go to great lengths to preserve their youth (at least for their 'prince charming'!).

You still don't get the drift of this piece. Let me explain.

I know of some men who have courted young, beautiful women. But after about two or so years they broke up with them for reasons best known to them. The while the courtship lasted, the ladies built so much hope in being married by the men that shared their lives.

The sad thing here is that the men were all the while not serious with 'their' ladies. They just lied through their teeth that the relationship would end up in walking down the aisle to consummate their 'fiery' love. But the converse of that was true all the while.

Put yourself in these ladies' shoes. Having put all their years and energies into the one thing that they thought would work, they are totally broken when the bombshell is exploded on their laps: "It's over between us; It just couldn't work; You were not the one for me; I made a wrong turn in the road of life; I think I now know where I am headed and you just don't fit in the bigger picture."

This is very 'brutal', to say the least. Why couldn't you just tell the truth as it were before the bud blossomed into a flower. Yes, you knew it all along that all you wanted were the stolen moments with the lass. You should have painted this aim in black and white before things became 'major' between you.

It would go something like this:
Man:I don't foresee us walking down the aisle. I just want you by my side to satiate my ego and sexual desires. What do you think?
Woman: Thank you for being upfront with me. Most men wouldn't do half as much. But no, I don't wish to be party to your whims!

Talk of being true and never coming to rue!

Men, if you don't wish to marry a lady with whom you have entered into courtship, then let the lady know.

It is painful for the ladies when you take them for a ride, waste their years and dump them at the junction of desperation. If no one has ever told you, then let me tell you: Time, to women, when viewed against the backdrop of marriage, is of utmost importance. Don't waste their time. Be straight with them and save them the searing pain.

Contact Ritch At This Email Address.
(undaunted_2006 at yahoo dot com)


Anonymous said...

Excuse me but shall I assume that somebody musta done this to your sister? And also, as you point a finger on men to not waste womens' time, shall ask too why women are wasting mens' time?
Why wait for four years before you pack your belongs to live with another son of a bitch. Did you ever hear a man packing his stuff and move out? It is always or mostly women.
Hey author, as you warn other men, I'm warning you to be carefull because you should never be suprised that after you finish reading this one, you will get home to find yours gone. Just don't be suprised; women are wicked the same way men are.

Furthermore, what makes you think that men should be upfront with women? All the while, are women blind not to sense that this shit ain't heading anywhere?
Why should it be just men? If they sense this, they too need to face the man and propose just a daitng thing or a walk-away plan. You see it? Think also in that angle, ok?

The Displaced African said...

I think the sad thing is as long as men have sex drives this problem will be present in some form or another until we as a people decide to rewrite the rules on courtship and marriage within our society and bring it back up to a place of sanctity and respect with as many responsibilities as rights and pleasures as opposed to something capricious and arbitrary that is affected by something as fickle as our feelings, our infatuation and our lust.

That having been said, I think that a lot of the time when women chose to engage in relationships with 'dead end men' women know what they are getting into and usually enter with the ego-driven idea that 'they will be able to change him' or 'they will be able to settle him down' and sometimes they simply just let their infatuation drive them when the signs of infidelity and someone not worth being trusted are right there.

On the male side; when a man engage sin this type of behavior it is the worst thing he can do not only for himself but for 'the men of tomorrow'. By lying to fulfill his selfish desires he taints not only himself but lowers the standards for the men of today and tomorrow. I think we should definitely redefine the rules and celebrate men who not only make commitments to themselves and the women in their lives but have the courage to pursue them.

I hope this serves

Taabu said...

The song NO ROMANCE WITHOUT FINANCE means plenty much and different things to different people. Our commerial living has not spared our love-lives either. Committment is one word that we often bandy without abandon without any pretense to mean it.

As a preface to love life, KISS should be simply a euphemism for KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID (KISS). But that is too much for an average man to whom KISS is reduce to an expression above for the intention below. Poor men and their runaway libido!

Anonymous said...

Could it be that Ritch is drawing an analogy here; the way political paties have taken us Kenyans for a ride time and again? They come, promise they're the love of our life, and after they get their lust satiated, they take off only for new ones to saunter in with the same evil lust. Just wondering...

Mark Evans

ritch said...

Mark Evans, you are spoton on this!!

ritch said...

I mean spot on!!

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