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Thursday, December 13, 2007

The "Lucy Wambui" Biggest Slap Of The Year Awards

Slap of the year awards

Kindly let’s have the votes in for the biggest slap of the year. Choose only one;

a) Lucy’s dramatic end of the year slap in State House. Big slap on the face to the dignity of Kenyans. This morning we are a laughing stock around the world.

b) News blackout by most of the media on the event. Big slap on media freedom and big slap to Kenyan voters because this is very vital information at this time.

c) Raila’s signing a secret MOU with Muslims. Big slap on the face of Christians and members of other religions.

d) 9th Parliament going ahead to award itself a golden handshake even after strong objections from Kenyans. One of the classic big slap on the face of voters by the 9th parliament which was a professional slapper just like Lucy Kibaki.

e) Lucy’s allowance being increased to Kshs 500,000 just in time for the election campaigns. Big slap in the face to most Kenyans who will never see such an amount with their eyes let alone pocket in their entire lifetime.

f) Direct nominations by mostly ODM and PNU in certain constituencies where voters were looking forward to getting their voices heard. Big slap in the face for Kenyan voters.

g) Naïve young Kenyans who believe that telling the truth as it is in this blog is fanning ethnic emotions. Guess what community all the people who think in this manner come from? Big slap in the face of intelligent Kenyans who are saying Ukweli sasa

You can add your own biggest slap of the year nomination. Otherwise vote only for one and let’s see what the tally comes to. As dramatic as Lucy’s slap was in State House yesterday, let’s see if it survives as the number one biggest slap of the year (and believe me it was a big slap—physically that is—according to impeccable sources.


Anonymous said...


Dear Members and Supporters and even you Chris,
We are working on the logistics of having the following activities between now and the 28th of December 2007 in conjunction with the ODM Secretariat and in liaison with other campaign initiatives of ODM:

A. Advertisement & Dissemination of ODM Materials

1. We will continue sponsoring of electronic and print media advertisements that complement ODM’s nationwide campaign effort, atleast one per week for the remainig three weeks;
2. We will continue disseminating write-ups via email, website and publication in newspapers; and
3. We will continue disseminating materials received from the ODM Secretariat.

B. The Orange Day

On Saturday the 22nd of December 2007, we shall have AN ORANGE DAY in cities and towns all over the Republic of Kenya.

What is the Orange Day:
It is a day when we shall all come out to show the Nation our preference for ODM and our Presidential Candidate, Hon. Raila Amolo Odinga by adorning an Orange coloured garment as part of our dressing and have Road Shows and Processions within our respective cities and towns all over the Republic of Kenya.
We intend to achieve the following:
1. Send a message to the entire Nation of Kenya that our Presidential Candidate, Hon. Raila Amolo Odinga is the most popular, and that they dare not rig or manipulate the elections to deny us victor;
2. To provoke Kenyans, and indeed the supporters of ODM, to GET OUT AND VOTE; and
3. To distribute ODM materials and regalia to ODM’s followers and sympathizers.

Come in numbers and drive your marked cars in the convoy of the road show.
NB: For Nairobi, this will be the fore-runner to the grand finale ODM rally that will hold on the 24th of December 2007 at Uhuru Park.

C. Election Monitoring Support

On the 27th and 28th December 2007, we shall provide logistical, material and intelligence support to ODM’s accredited observers and the ODM Secretariat as follows:
1. We require volunteers as liaison persons in each of the 210 Constituency;
2. Gathering and relaying intelligence on the activities surrounding the polling stations (as you will not be allowed inside) and providing support to ODM’s accredited observers by relaying to them relevant intelligence and distributing food, water, refreshments and any other assistance that they may require;
3. Generally monitoring, gathering and relaying intelligence on the activities in your constituency that may impact on ODM’s chances of success in the polls; and
4. Reminding constituents and the supporters of ODM, to GET OUT AND VOTE.

Kindly plan and prepare yourself to be a part of this unique and historic initiative that will see us secure the third and final liberation of our beloved Kenya. Contact us as below or send an email to for more information.

Yours truly

Phil said...


While I have no problem with your plan for slap of the year awards, your point (c) tells me you obviously did not read the MOU that Raila actually signed with the muslims and you did not bother to pay attention to what NAMLEF said about this particular MOU. Even more regrettable, you fail to highlight the pregnant silence coming from the PNU and Church side after the real MOU was made public, with the rider that Kibaki himself signed such MOUs before and that they were not made public. That silence is evident in this blog too!

It seems to me like you are endorsing the government's action in deporting Kenyan citizens of Muslim extraction to Ethiopia, Somalia and other Indian Ocean Islands. What if the same punishment was to meted on yourself or someone close to you?

Nevertheless, my nomination as the biggest slap of the year is to the Hon. Martha Karua.

The Justice minister is directly responsible for the failure of the national assembly to pass a bill for the creation of 50 special seats for women in parliament after trying to sneak in another clause that would have created additional constituencies in pro-PNU areas. It shows political expediency is costing this country a lot in terms of good governance, affirmative action and expansion of democracy.

And being a woman herself, one wonders which side of Martha Karua's bread is buttered!?

What a shame!

Anonymous said...

In a country where more than 60% live in abject poverty, there's nothing more callous, unfeeling and contemptible than our MPs awarding themselves hefty handshakes. I vote (d) the slap of the year.

Anonymous said...

Chris, I'll pose the same question as Phil. Did Kibaki sign an MoU with Muslims in 2002? How come he's never come out to deny or confirm it? Infact, his cronies who were spreading the propaganda about the MoU have all gone silent about the same. Where are those PNU Loudmouths in this blog who made the MoU their pet subject, obviously due to lack of something better to tell us? Please can Kibaki come out and deny or confirm this? We are tired of these insults here and there. Why is Kibaki so afraid to face off not just with Raila, but at least with Kalonzo, (or Pastor Muiru) in a one on one debate? I think a public debate would enable Kenyans ask the pertinent questions about his government. I think also, it would have helped raise his profile had he accepted a public face off!

One thing you guys haven't realised is that all these "political sins" that Raila is being accused of, have been committed by Kibaki himself, in one way or another. I know, multiple wrongs do not make a right. But guys, please watch out while you cast the stone. It might hit the wall and come back to me.

All the same, my vote goes to the increase in salo by MPs. That's the biggest slap, not in a year, but in the whole lifetime!

Chief Dr. Al Hajj M.A. Nanga, MP.

chris said...


Thanx for your comment. Let the people decide about the Muslim MOU. I am aware of the facts you mention but remember I also have to play a balancing game here. We don't want Kumekucha to be a photocopy of Raila's blog do we?

Your suggesting for the biggest slap of the year is excellent. I remember that Martha Karua stunt which denied women those extra seats that would surely have made a big difference in Kenya. In fact I will vote with you on that one.

Anyone else out there?

Kenyans have been so messed up by these guys that I am thinking that maybe we should change this to the top 10 big slaps of the year. What do you guys think?

Akheillus said...

I vote D . How can a governement who claims and MP's alike to be fighting poverty award themselves this obscene salary increment ? Just as Kibaki turned down his Salary increase he should have akso vetoed this change and lucy's salary increase as well. Increased social responsibilities likeslapping Mc's?

Annie said...

Sorry Chris. I think your priorities are a bit off here. Balancing should not be your priority, telling the truth should. Sometimes the truth favors one side more than the other. So be it. Just because global warming is a huge concern right now and has historically been a liberal concern doesn't mean we should give equal footage to Bush et al's lies to the contrary. To do so is to reduce the effectiveness, the impact of the truth.

Silaha said...

I take the contrarian view. The MPs salary hikes over the last two parliaments has probably been the best thing to happen to the average mwananchi (along with the CDF program) -- it ensures that they are not stuck with the same under-performing MP forever.

Here is the the logic behind my thinking.

There are 210 elected and 12 nominated MPs, if, for the sake of this discussion, we agree that their annual (official) income (including perquisites) is KES12M then we pay KES2.7B to keep these fat cats purring (or possibly vomiting on a certain High Commissioner's shoes). While that is a lot of money -- it is ~0.7% of our annual government revenue of KES400B (source: CBK) (to put that in perspective all the rest of their constiuents get only 4 times that in their CDF) -- it has created an amazing byproduct of which we can all be proud. It has guaranteed that at each election most of the sitting MPs will be voted out. In this election alone it has given us nearly 3,000 contenders for these 210 seats. Excellent.

There is unfortunately no real evidence that grand corruption among the elected was significantly lower in this parliament than it was in the "Dark 90s" but there is ample evidence that service delivery both on a national and on a local level has been far better. If MPs have to worry about re-election then they will realize that they have to deliver to the mwananchi. I am aware of 2 MPs who stand out for having done stellar on the ground work in this last parliament: Peter Kenneth of Gatanga (poster child for all wannabe MPs who thankfully is sailing back in) and Raphael Tuju in Rarieda (who unfortunately will not be coming back as an elected MP).

I think they call this The Law of Unintended Consequences.

So, to cut a l-o-n-g story short, my choice for slap of the year goes to (F) the political parties for their nominations fiascos... ODM gets first prize, PNU is a close runner up, and ODM-K and Safina share the fisi prize for picking up the leftovers.

chris said...


Thank you for your comment.

You are absolutely right only that this problem of "balancing" is a major one in Kenya today and I am not the only one who faces it daily. Virtually all media houses do. And that is why this thing looks like a close race. That myth will be shattered on 27th Dec.

TRUTH in Kenya today has too many confusing faces.

e.g. Moi was bad in 2002 but he is suddenly good in 2007.

People who bring up the topic of tribalism are tribalists and want to turn Kenya into another Rwanda. Top of the list of these senseless culprits is the Kumekucha blog.

Kumekucha is an ODM blog although it criticizes Raila frequently.

The hate literature in the Rift Valley was distributed by ODM to discredit PNU.

You get my drift...


Vikii said...

Chris you are at best an average Kenyan-------intellect-wise.

Prousette said...

Choice d. A stinging slap in my face as a KEnyan

Taabu said...

Vikii average is the hallmark of decision. And better average than oscillate betwween the extremes of absurdity and genius, don't you think so? The insinuation is not necessary and you can do better than that, don't you? Cook your beef but but don't transform yourself into an inept IQ expert.

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