Ruto jitters: Is Raila really back? | Kenya news

Monday, March 08, 2010

Watch Out For Kibaki's Third Term Soon

I made some pretty cocky predictions about 2010 and so far so good because the way things are happening I am being made to look pretty good.

One of the things I said about 2010 is that it will be the year of the sucker punch. Now here is a possible sucker punch that beats them all. The truth is that I have been listening to some far-fetched claims about president Kibaki seeking re-election in 2012 with plenty of skepticism. But never forget that the most unexpected things happen in politics pretty often. Maybe too often for comfort.
Mtukufu Rais Kibaki mama na baba wa taifa mkuu wa majeshi yote ya Kenya na nje. And just like Moi you don't dare breathe without singing his praises.

A few things have made me sit up and change my mind about the Kibaki re-election stories. Most of it I cannot share here because I often receive information that I am NOT allowed to use for various reasons. But let me summarize the information I am talking about by saying that the behaviour of Kibaki handlers, more so in recent weeks does not suggest that they may be packing their bags preparing to leave the corridors of power in 2012. In fact their actions point in the opposite direction. Suggesting that they are in power to stay. Instead of starting to remove personal pictures on the walls folks are ordering new expensive furniture so to speak. Just a figure of speech.

Now as I was working on this post, a tweet by government spokesman Alfred Mutua made my hand freeze on the keyboard. Let me reproduce the Tweet here;
Government is contracting TPain, Young Jeezy and 50Bob to remix Tawala Kenya Tawala to "Tawala Kibaki Tawala" Government spokesperson Alfred Mutua has tweeted this information.

Now I appreciate and respect the fact that when the song Tawala Kenya first assaulted the ears of long suffering Kenyans, most of our loudest-mouthed commentators here in this blog were at best still in diapers and at worst were not yet even a sperm determinedly swimming towards fertilizing some unfortunate ovary. I was a very young lad then. But young enough to be aware of what was going on. It was a good tune but I sensed lots of unease and even annoyance in Kenyans about the song. Years later I was to discover that the song was designed to help boost confidence in the then shaky Daniel arap Moi trying to step into the huge shoes of Jomo Kenyatta with the long bloody shadows of the Kiambu Mafia hanging over him.

Now the government (that really means Mutua and the president’s closest handlers) has decided to release a new version of the song in praise of Kibaki and his leadership. Now why would anybody want to do that in the twilight of their administration? Unless…

…Of course!!! Unless they knew something that the rest of us Kenyans did not know. As I write this the draft constitution is in parliament and Kenyans would do well to remember what President Bill Clinton said in his biography about how law making is pretty much like manufacturing sausages.

For those who don’t get the picture let me help. Picture this guy who has not trimmed his nails for a while handling and stuffing bits of minced meat to make sausages. Then there is this guy who has just returned to his work station from a call of nature in some toilet that smells so bad that the smell in itself has succeeded in chasing away flies. And this toilet has no toilet paper. And since we all know that there is no water in Nairobi the man dives straight back and clasps a large chunk of the stuff that makes your favourite sausages. None of this will cross your mind when you grab the beautifully packaged sausages at the super market. Or chew that nice brown fried sausage, lick you lips and grab more from the dish. And so Clinton’s point and my point here is that Kenyans who are all expecting a constitution close to perfection should relax and forget it and remember that deals and counter deals are going to be made in the final chiseling going on just now. Yes making laws is pretty dirty business anywhere in the world, now imagine a whole constitution and there are so many interests to be protected and sins to be covered up.

In other words it is not a far-fetched dream that the new constitution will allow Kibaki to stand for a third and even fourth term. Need I remind you that when the limited reforms of 2002 were passed limiting the term of a president to two terms Moi was able to run for another two terms? Most opposition MPs hurriedly agreed because nobody believed that Moi (who had never stood in a seriously competitive election in his entire life before then) would win re-election (by whatever means) back to State House in 2002. And that could be the exact feeling that many have about Emilio Mwai Kibaki. After all, Moi who never saw the inside of a university ruled Kenya for 24 years. How can a former university don rule for only 10 short years?

Tawala Kenya tawala, rais Kibaki tawala Kenya tawala… Unongoza vyema rais Kibaki unongoza vyema

Rough translation: Rule Kenya president Kibaki, you are ruling very well, continue to rule Kenya.

Oh boy!!! Will the last man leaving Kenya remember to switch off the lights… that is if the switch is still there.

P.S. Bethuel Kiplagat impunity post to follow

PDM Stands for Progressivism, Nothing Else

ODM has been checkmated big time. The orange party has been brutally reminded that there is no monopoly to permutation of letters. Give it to PDM for scoring big by leaping to P from O in the alphabetical ranking. Only DM remains a constant.

What is more, PDM singularly stands for PROGRESSIVISM. You cannot beat that using any linguistic pretense. After grand coalition come grand ideas. Learning from the master/s and even taking it a notch higher, PDM is collating all the hitherto PNU big shots.

With PROGRESSIVISM comes the mantra of equitable distribution of wealth. Kenya couldn't have asked for a sure cure to ethnic tension. It PDM you have tried and tested political hands teaming with both young and old.

The era of briefcase political parties is surely gone. Soon we Kenya will be an African case study with only two or three strong parties competing for power thanks to PDM.

And let you forget, PDM has REINVENTED our own brand of ANC where like-minded parties of all shapes and shades share the common ideology of PROGRESSIVISM politically, economically and socially.

In PDM we have arrived at the political nirvana and there is no turning back. The naysayers will be left at the dock as we sail deep into political doldrums.

Why start with a vowel if a consonant can do the job even better? Welcome to murky and Micky Mouse Kenyan politics.