Saturday, January 08, 2011

Kenya Must Go to the Dogs First to Rise Again

By Two KK Bloggers

The recent political past has left MV Kenya tottering precariously in the doldrums. Last year ended with Ocampo's hanging a milestone collectively on 6 necks. And just before synthesis what 2011 portents, we seismic political waves are already threatening to shred any trace of hitherto calm. These developments have left political tongues wagging and the bloggers here have not been left behind. Here are two divergent takes from two our bloggers. Enjoy

1: Red Flag
Make no mistake, Kenya has surely gone to the dogs. Look, everybody wants a pound of flesh of hapless Kenyans, drug traffickers in the highest echelons of security and governance, those not dealing in drugs to destroy future generations are busy plundering the country and extorting the meagre resources we have from us, gangsters running amok doing whatever they want with help from the police and guns sometimes hired from the police, if they are not police themselves, highest paid MPs in the world, droughts looming and at the risk of raining on bloggers’ party (read stirring hornet’s nest), Somalis buying up the country with questionable sources of money, borders wide open for as little as KES 500, drug addicts mugging in once peaceful coastal towns, HIV/Aids, treatable and preventable diseases like malaria etc etc. The picture is not very alluring.

Meanwhile idiots are busy with "my tribe, your tribe". KENYA IS GOING TO HELL IF IT IS NOT THERE ALREADY! Of what use is my tribe and your tribe important when we will are all living a hell on earth. You might have made it and are relatively rich, you are still living in hell, having to lock yourself behind high walls, driving through poverty and squalor, not knowing when you will be shot dead by gangsters or extortionist police, when a matatu which has just paid a bribe will ram into you and end your life or maim you.

Come on people, we are in this together, of whatever tribe or social class. This country lacks leadership, lacks moral values. Pastors drive sparkling SUVs and Kenyans are told to close their eyes and pray while being dispossessed of their meagre resources by the men of god. Politicians are either engaged in drug trafficking, car-jacking or high level corruption despite being paid one of the highest salaries in the world in one of the poorest countries in the world.

Why can't we open our eyes? Are we a masochist nation? We are suffering or will suffer pretty soon, and we are busy with personalities just because they are from our tribes. Aliyeiba abebe mzigo wake, ANY KENYAN POLITICIAN OUT OF ACTION IS A BLESSING FOR KENYANS, whatever their tribe might be.

It is about time we wake up from our slumber. All right-thinking Kenyans should see what is happening. The situation in which our country finds itself is very dangerous indeed. It will explode pretty soon. We have to avoid it at all costs. You do need to be a neurologist to identify the real enemies taking a ride on our collective backs. Forget all the heat and barbs directed at US envoy Ranneberger who is only earning his pay. His dossier on drugs would have sent a chill down our spine but this is Kenya where the drug barons know our mouths are ready for hire. And we never disappoint. Just look at how busy we are with INDIVIDUALS which every tribe thinks will deliver them to the Promised Land. Well, NO ONE WILL. Those whom we foolishly protect are nothing but equal opportunity thieves who hate all Kenyans and Kenya in equal measure. Simply put, they are out to destroy all of us and our kids.

Kenyan foreign debt has increased more than five-fold since 2002. Who will pay it back? Your kids and mine for generations to come, regardless of our tribes. What do we have to show for it? Drug addicted zombies and hundreds of ministers and other officials being driven around from one corruption deal to another.

When a drug addict mugs you he will not ask for your tribe, when a police officer robs you he will not ask for your tribe first, neither will the angel of death ask for your tribe when a substandard matatu crashes minutes after paying a bribe.

Bottom line is, we are in this together, we had better wake up and unite and isolate our real enemies. This country needs us as a matter of urgency, otherwise PEV will soon sound like a distant sweet dream to come.

2: Rite of passage
On the flip side you need superlative skills to successfully preach to a choir. Crying for Kenya amounts to wasted tears, please reserve the precious liquids for a worthwhile personal cause, joy or sorrow, whatever the case may be. What you see as national decadence are the compulsory birth pangs a country must experience in the process of growing. Kenya, the country will outlive you and the current four generations of Kenyans by the time the year 2080 comes knocking.

Save us your cries and better get advised that we are not in that mess together. The wailers are on their own. This is Africa where anything and everything goes.
Why not let the country go to the wild dogs and jungle power brokers for a change? The match towards equilibrium will see frustrated hyenas frothing and waiting in the fringes of society ready to take advantage of every morsel of mess and the boundless opportunities caused by vicious canines and their handlers.
The hyenas will snatch everything in sight leaving behind very little for the opportunistic jackals and vultures to scavenge on.

I can't wait for another wild seasonal political cycle with new players, new takers, new herds for the hunt and intense brawls in the same old country.


Anonymous said...

ROP Number 2 is right! its your own FAULT for being poor in Kenya today.Don't believe the lies that there are only 2 tribes in Kenya that is MANIFEST NONSENSE

Lazy Jealous Kenyans spend too much time endlessly seeking the political kingdom due to the lie "siasa mbaya maisha mbaya"

learn the economist President Kibaki's secret to success-0.1% politics +99% money.and please FORGET Chris and his HIGH MORAL HORSE ati "how did you make your money" -

this is Kenya Get rich or DIE TRYING and get rich while you can. just make money ANYHOW and you will soon be smiling with all the rest of us.

Never mind nay sayers shouting about domination of business and government by ONE particular tribe-watch Citizen TV Sunday live every Sunday night to see who really "owns Kenya"-

PS:This post is only for poor Kenyans-i know celebrated bloggers like Sugarcane Farmer Phil, Book Author/Publisher Chris, Walking Dictionary Taabu, Economist Mwarang'ethe, NSIS operative Oracle, Church Pastor Phillip, Comfortable Diasporan BobbySixKiller etc are all rich fellow please don't bother commenting on this post leave it to the poor ANONYMOUSES blogging from NRB CyberCafes

Bobby6Killer said...

"We are all in this together". Commendable sentiments that echo David Cameron's "Big Society" philosophy. Kenyans may be too busy struggling to survive as individuals which means they end up focussing on "me" rather than "we" to make any headway on such common good based ideas.

@ Luke, I'm not sure whether to be flattered or insulted for being identified as a "comfortable diasporan". What you mean to say is ex-diasporan Bobby6killer. I am very much a Nairobi based Kenyan & have been so since I returned to do my bit in building our nation in '91.

Off the subject I wish our bros in South Sudan all the best in their 4 day referendum commencing tomorrow. Al Bashir may have made very good noises while he was in Juba recently but he's hinted at the possibilty of war in a subsequent Al Jazeera interview (in Arabic) over oil rich Abiye district which stradles the border of northern & southern Sudan as reported by the BBC. I hope whatever decision the people of South Sudan make will be respected....peacefully.

Anonymous said...


Come S-l-o-w-l-y bwana... This is not only BLASPHEMY but pure HUBRIS, do you want to start Mass Hysteria gone Viral, you have been warned!, just wait for the cybers to open so that "POOR" bloggers realing from the january "heat" can deal with you, using Kenyan parlance " Utajua hao ni akina nani"

Otherwise, we are a working nation & we will follow your mantra of "Get rich quick or atleast die from Trying".

Isn't that why we have professional "Tax Collectors" whose efficiency and efficacy is un-matched & can put KRA to shame, does Mungiki, Baghdad Boys, Angola Msumbiji etc ring a bell. The reliable, tried & tested "ngeta" can also be applied to relieve you, off your " Sonko" fortune.

I know you have heard of the ravenous & mysterious "Macavity" who plans crimes that lesser criminals can execute & thereafter spin legal webs in their defense.

Afterall, we not only view but essentially consider our local MPs salary as our money, thats why we form endless queues in continental house for haki-yetu.

Lets not forget illegal settlers who don't give a hoot & have the impertinence to "order" the government to give them time to "harvest their crops" & thereafter demand compensation, you see bwana Luke we are doing all we can to get rich.

And how can we forget Land grabbers, isn't that why we have signs of " This Land is NOT for SALE" on every corner and who have the temerity to rush to court to contest eviction orders issued by the GOVERNMENT, on land they worked so hard to grab,you see Luka we Kenyans are real Hustlers.

And now why would Taabu castigate our Church leaders, aren't they only asking for "speacial offerings", dont you want to ascend to heaven perpendicularly, hallelujah! Do you want to say that sermons are only for the ISGs (Innocent, Silly & Gullible) members.

Finally Luka, I will undertake an urgent reconstitution, at least to be in consonance with your get rick quick spirit, I only hope that the Kwekwe / Flying squad will not send me to my maker before I earn my 50 Cents.

The Oracle has Spoken

Anonymous said...

The problem is poor and failed leadership from the top. There's too much rot up there since we have a moribund president (always holed up in state house busy doing nothing) and ineffective prime minister ( pussycat who think he's a lion). they all look away as drug lords run amok and corruption hits the skies. they only act when rumbled by american ambassador about the criminal druggies. what the hell were they waiting for? until we have a caring, bold and visionary leaders, we shall be stuck in the first gear for a long time. as i keep saying, martha wangari wa karua would make a great ceo of this highly potential nation. the odingas have enslaved the luo nation for eons and any jaluo who has rebelled against raila is quickly crushed with an iron fist. raila sense of judgement has also been questioned for backing corrupt ministers like ngilu and koskey. so as i started earlier, poor leadership from the top remains our biggest challenge as a nation.

m. pesa

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more with M-pesa. That bunch of thoroughly corrupt and visionless politicians can only lead the country to doom.I feel nauseatic when I see some of them looking up to 2012.

Mwarang'ethe said...

Long time ago where the new constitution mantra was ranging, we warned on KK that:

"Kenya has now entered [a] vicious cycle and it seems appropriate to warn that this NEW CONSTITUTION constitution may be the LAST TRUMPET.

If it does not address this first principle meaningfully and comprehensively, all other “reforms” shall be in vain and we would have reached the END OF THE ROAD as it concerns PEACEFUL REFORMS."

We stand by that assessment which is drawn from history and will be vindicated in the fullness of time.

Anyway, it is very very pleasant to sit at the top of the Mt Kenya of HUMAN HISTORY, sip mursik while enjoying the endless HUMAN MATCH OF FOLLY going on in the valleys down hill.

Kisumu Molasses said...

Let me help someone here:
Anyone who believe Raila Odinga will ever become the President of Kenya, IS sick and needs help!!!

Anonymous said...


Blaming the new constitution is just plain lame and very bad manners. Didn't you run away because the old one did not suite your every whim? We are tired of you flogging that DEAD HORSE! Theory of yours, let it just be bygones like horse shit!
Bad leadership is what we have and Mpesa you got it right bro, sambaza more info.

Anglo Fleasing and Triton Scandal said...

The following GEMA house of representatives will never see state house:

1) Martha "Wamugunda" Karua

2) Kalonzo "Kati Kati" Musyoka

3) Uhuru "Mungiki" Kenyatta

GEMA thugs can't be trusted with leadership of this country, we'd rather see Kenya go to HELL and BURN

Anonymous said...

It is ironical that the name GEMA was coined by the Gikuyu to herd the EMA like sheep. Whenever GEMA mafia is mentioned, we only take it as euphemism to mean, Gikuyu Mafia.

Alfred Mutua

Anonymous said...

@Kisumu Molasses

You stink ass!, dirty mouth molasses stinking breath is really getting pungent on KK. You never have anything of substance to contribute on KK, no wonder you have nothing between your ears. Style up will you, or get a life. You have a psychotic tendency, but i guess it's GENETIC!

Anonymous said...

@ Luka and Oracle,

LMAO! you guys have just nailed it, and need to be rewarded accordingly. Luka how about goat soup on my tab, or is that for poor ordinary kenyans and not for the sophisticated you, LOL!, replace that with Cognac and a whole drum of mursik for the Oracle.

Anonymous said...

You are a stinking faggot!
U get shafted in ur big anus!!!!

Kenyanese said...

Nice bit of satire.

Wish the likes of Kenya's no1 sycophant Phil would wake up to the reality of their leaders shortcomings.

Kenya is yet to wake up from the Opium haze of the New Constitution....pity.Well after every drug there's a hangover to deal with.Kenyans had better be ready.

In the meantime sippin yoghurt from the stands. :)

Anonymous said...

I have lost 85% of everything that I once believed was rightfully mine in the last couple of years through bad investments.

So, that qualifies me for the poor population (lower-lower-class status) of Kenyan society, and also earns me the privilege to comment on "Kenya Must First Go to the Dogs to Develop".

First of all, let's not forget the fact that dogs have been man's best friends, and they have even helped man in the necessary affairs of human development.

Anyone can survive and thrive in a Dog-Eat-Man-Society. If you have a highly imaginative mind you may be the one or among those who will create a better system that supplies the rest of society with a lot of bones, little meat and collect the royalties from their sale.

Unfortunately, Kenya has very few people who have highly imaginative minds because millions of Kenyan children have had their imagination dwarfed and retarted by parents and the system of education which has removed as much as possible of the urge of necessity.

By "making it easy" for so many generations of post Uhuru (independence) children, society may have deprived the country of geniuses, great political leaders, a lot of business giants, and a mature citizenry.

On the other hand, let's not always scapegoat the Dogs of Kenyan society, for they are a necessary evil, but bear in mind the fact that most of the progress that man has made came as the result of bitter, biting necessity.

And the dogs were always there for man as man fought back and struggled with the bitter necessity. The loyal dogs also remained around even when they knew that man didn't have any leftovers or pieces of bones to offer the dogs.

Inspite of my current station in life (lower-lower-class staus) I have always rejected the 'Dogs of War' but whole heartedly embraced the 'Dogs of Necessity' and understood why the pangs of rebirth are very necessary if a society like Kenya is to devlop and change for the better.

Mwarang'ethe said...

Blaming the new constitution is just plain lame and very bad manners. Didn't you run away because the old one did not suite your every whim? We are tired of you flogging that DEAD HORSE! Theory of yours, let it just be bygones like horse shit!
Bad leadership is what we have and Mpesa you got it right bro, sambaza more info.

1/8/11 5:16 AM


Fine. Let us agree that what we have is bad leadership.

Having agreed, we will say this. We have 2bad leadership" because the political and economic structure of the old and the new katiba favours bad leaders over "good ones."

So, what do you propose to do then?

Anonymous said...

we are in 2090-Ruto!

Anonymous said...

The Kikuyu leadership in the Rift Valley has told Uhuru Kenyatta he will not get their political support blindly in 2012.

It was no longer business as usual and switching political loyalty should not be ruled out, they said.

Voicing their political and economic marginalisation during President Kibaki’s rule for the first time, leaders demanded immediate action.

A meeting called by the Kikuyu Council of Elders to discuss peace and reconciliation in Central Rift turned into an audit of what Kibaki administration had done or failed to do for his key support blocs.

The meeting mandated Mr Uhuru to spearhead peace and reconciliation efforts between Kikuyu and Kalenjin communities in the Rift Valley to forestall a repeat of past ethnic violence. But the elders and MPs from Central Rift told Uhuru their support for his 2012 presidential, ambitions would have to be negotiated.

Those who spoke told Uhuru that Rift Valley voters will make a pre-election Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) in 2012 before deciding who to vote for.

Kalenjin neighbours

The matter has been simmering underground but hardly vented in public.

They cited failure to tarmac Nanyuki-Rumuruti-Sipili and Rumuruti-Maralal roads. They said both President Kibaki and PM Raila Odinga had promised the roads would be tarmacked. They claimed failure to appoint Cabinet ministers and permanent secretaries from the region had compromised their peace making efforts with Kalenjin neighbours.

"Central Rift Valley gave President Kibaki almost one million votes in 2007. But we have no flag to show, even a dirty or a torn one. Does it mean we have not fathered or educated children capable of appointment as ministers and permanent secretaries? Why do we have to import ministers from Central Province to facilitate peace negotiations in Rift Valley," Kimani Ngunjiri, is reported to have said.

Subukia MP Nelson Gaichuhie, Assistant ministers Mwangi Kiunjuri, Nderitu Mureithi, Lee Karuri supported Mr Ngunjiri’s sentiments that Central Rift had been given a raw deal by the Kibaki administration.

"Key appointments are made with the warped assumption that a ministers from Murang’a, Nyeri and Kiambu will take care of their kin in the Rift Valley. But it is during last year’s Referendum that it emerged how under represented Kikuyus in the Rift Valley are in Government," said Mr Kiunjuri. The last Cabinet minister from the region was GG Kariuki. GG, as he was popularly known, was fired in 1983 after he fell out with former President Moi.

Philip Waki - Kalonzo Musyokas Stooge said...

Mambo baaaad! There was a plea-bargain arrangement afterall, coming after bloggers here have ranting and foaming in the mouth.

The initial waki list of 20, had been wittled down so that, those not in the final six could act as witnesses, of interest is that a former MP who acted as an errand boy/girl/woman/man for one of the 6 members, wolololo yaye, things are moto moto, we can't wait for the live proceedings from the hague to commence, I have to get meself a new sony bravia, WWE, Alejandro, Papa Shirandula kando.

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:44 PM
Mmmmmmmm! "Central Rift Valley"? What about Northern Rift Valley and Southern Rift Valley?

And what does the wise Council of Elders have to say about the urgent recociliation needed with their soon to be neighbours in Southern Rift Valley, where the people of the land are not happy with the ongoing encroachment in form of forced resettlement?

Philip said...


Let me wish you a prosperous new year. I've started smelling the prosperity on my side. I believe this year is going to be wonderful to me.

The reason I've been quiet lately is because, "Everyday, Tunahustle, Hatuchoki, Tunahustle", and for sure I've got two new jobs, and one along the way, it has delayed because the client went to northern parts of Kenya. These jobs are coming from a Kikuyu, a Kamba and a Kenyan Somali. Last year a client promised to call me - he is Luhya. I think now you can see the reason why tribalistic attitude isn't in my life.

I hope this year people will have knowledge of how politics is played in Kenya and they'll know their true enemy.

Another reason I've been quiet is because I've been reading research materials about tithing. All I can say is that Christians need to be very careful with our pastors. I wonder why Christians normally make noise about our politicians stealing from them and they can't see their pastors stealing from them. I pity them. That's why I've given myself a break from "church" - an organised institution, located in ultra modern premises, and having several business interests with C.E.Os, who refer to themselves as Pastors, Apostles, Bishops e.t.c.

I wish Southern Sudan a successful and victorious referendum, but they need to be wary of imperialist states waiting in vain to pounce on the little flesh they have, maybe Kenya is included among the imperialist state, or is the avenue of these imperialist states. They also need to be wary of their corrupt leaders who have position themselves to steal its resources. Once upon a time I was involved in a project amounting to USD 10 million, the Sudanese told us to add USD 2 million, for "ministers and others". After all documents were ready he vanished. Maybe the project "started" and payments were made, but nothing on the ground. We all know that the booming real estate in Kenya has not been influenced by Somali's only but also by Sudanese and Congolese.

Mwarang'ethe said...

Philip wrote

Another reason I've been quiet is because I've been reading research materials about tithing. All I can say is that Christians need to be very careful with our pastors. I wonder why Christians normally make noise about our politicians stealing from them and they can't see their pastors stealing from them. I pity them.


At least the "men of God" are given that portion without VIOLENCE.

As long as you give out your sweat and blood voluntarily, not very bad.

The so called GOK wanapiga wewe ngeta, i.e. pure robbery with violence. They tell you without shame that, before you eat, you must part with some of your sweat. Before you irrigate your farm, you must first pay the GOK.

They also tell u that, if you do business, you must open your books to them while they close theirs in the name of "state security."


I wish Southern Sudan a successful and victorious referendum, but they need to be wary of imperialist states waiting in vain to pounce on the little flesh they have, maybe Kenya is included among the imperialist state, or is the avenue of these imperialist states.


mmmmmm, verily, verily, we say this. South Sudan SHALL become a failure like all other African states.

It SHALL do so, for the SAME REASONS which have made all African states such a failure. So, do not hold your breath.


We may just add this brother:

When the clever Romans conquered Britain, they were wise to ensure Britons would wear their CHAINS with LESS reluctance, if the prospect and EXAMPLE of FREEDOM were on every side removed from before their eyes.

And, why were Britons subdued? We are told this. They took up arms with savage fierceness, they laid them down, or turned them against EACH OTHER, with WILD INCONSTANCY, and while they fought SINGLY, they were successively subdued.

So, are Africans since 1890's.

Anonymous said...


All the best in your endeavors.

Lakini usijihasol sana sana bila kujiendeleza hadi uwe astute and articulate business person au professional with loyal clientele, influential and wealthy friends (associates).

Lest we forget that back of the great industries, railroads, bankings, aviation, housing, medical breakthroughs, the Internet (microsoft, google, yahoo, facebook and what next?) and other many commercial enterprises is the all-powerful force of imagination.

Anonymous said...

Imagination and not ethnicity or seasonal ethnic alliances.

Anonymous said...

No work is finished until the paperwork is done

Can Kenyans abroad hold demonstrations in all cities to Support Kenyans and Demand that Th Ocampo six vacate office-not suspension but for goosd:

Githongo and Ghai rally Kenyans against impunity

Human rights Groups reject plan to fund suspects
Former anti-corruption czar Mr John Githongo.


Former Ethics and Governance PS Mr John Githongo and Prof Yash Pal Ghai who chaired the Bomas Constitutional Conference have launched a national campaign against impunity, injustice and corruption.

The campaign under the banner Kenya Ni Yetu (Kenya belongs to us) was symbolically launched at Freedom Corner in Nairobi’s Uhuru Park where some of the fiercest pro-reform rallies and meetings were held in the 1990s.

It will strive to mobilise Kenyans to speak up against cases of impunity, corruption and other forms of injustice in their counties.

To set the ball rolling, Githongo and Ghai demanded President Kibaki and Prime minister Raila Odinga edge out ministers and public officials named as post-election violence suspects by the International Criminal Court.

Also in the campaign is the Executive Director of the International Commission of Jurists-Kenya George Kegoro, and Mr Davinder Lamba, a leading member of Kenya’s civil society movement.

Those they want shoved aside until cleared by ICC are: Deputy Prime Minister Uhuru Kenyatta and Head of Civil Service Francis Muthaura, as well as Maj-Gen (rtd) Hussein Ali who is serving as Post Master General.

They were named as principal suspects alongside Tinderet MP Henry Kosgey and Eldoret North MP William Ruto, who have since left the Cabinet because of court cases locally.

The only other person in the Ocampo Six list is Mr Joshua arap Sang, the KASS FM head of operations and director of its morning radio talk-show.

"We similarly pledge to directly resist those who steal from us, those who actively work to ruin the future of our youth, we pledge to oppose those who stand before us as leaders but are in reality agents of confusion, division and destruction," said Githongo.

Anonymous said...

A wise Orkoiyot,

go to

and be wiser

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