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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Deep Inside The Secret PNU And ODM Kitchens

While President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga are busy telling Kenyans how the government of National Unity is solid and united, behind the scenes deadly daggers have been drawn and it is possible that very soon we will see some major turmoil on the political front.

Interestingly both sides of the political divide thing that they have outsmarted the other. I will reserve my controversial but well thought out verdict for the very end. After I have told you what they are saying and doing deep in the kitchens of PNU and ODM.

The plan now in the drawing boards of PNU insiders is to look for a way to put a spanner in the works to bring down the government of national unity. The motive is simple. They have carefully gone through the Anan laws with the help of lawyers and it is clear that in the event of the GNU collapsing Kibaki remains president and has the power to re-constitute a new cabinet. The PNU think tank s confident that they will be able to easily pull this one off because they say that they have well-documented evidence of corruption amongst the top ranks of ODM (more details in my raw notes to be released tomorrow). Interestingly ODM, as brilliant as their think tank is, has not been able to document much on the PNU side in terms of evidence on corrupt deals.

So the plan will be to leak the evidence to the public which I am informed will cause serious outrage and great disappointment even amongst ODM diehards.

The truth is that the Anan deal greatly favored PNU and ODM was short-changed in many ways. This is what PNU insiders are looking to cash in on.

It is not clear what the effect of the break up of the GNU would have on the general public. Most Kenyans are really sick of the current crop of politicians and Kenyan politics as a whole so the truth is that many will be delighted to see the GNU collapse. The only problem is that the alternative (a Kibaki cabinet) will not be acceptable to many. We know for instance that the warriors in Rift Valley have not disarmed. We also know that groups sympathetic to the PNU cause have been heavily arming and swore earlier this year never again to be caught unawares. That is the reality on the ground.

But as usual PNU insiders seem to have miscalculated and have probably not fully considered the repercussions of a re-constituted Kibaki cabinet.

As much as I have no love lost for the greedy selfish insensitive GNU, I shudder to think of what any alternative may bring.

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Anonymous said...

If GNU collapses then Kibaki is a goner. Take it from me. The kikuyus camped in Edloret will die. That is for sure. Asijaribu.

Anonymous said...

anon 9:34 what are you waiting for go and kill them now!!!

Mzalendo said...

You people forget PNU is not a Kikuyu or GEMA party. It may be lead by a Kikuyu, but we have in PNU, Abaluhyias, Kisiis, Kurias, Massais, one Kalenjin (Kamama), Turkana, (Munye), Taita, Taveta, Miji kenda, Somali, Swahili, pokomo, etc. etc.
The only ethnic group not in PNU govt is LUO and they can go to hell with their molasses! Raphael Tuju would have been a better Prime Minister than molasses!

kalamari said...

The way things are right now, I doubt if it is to the best interest of PNU to dismantle the coalition. Then what? Implement the Waki report?
As for ODM, you are right in that they mostly have the favor of ‘public opinion’ evidence rather than ‘hard’ evidence. With this, they cannot do much other than lead a revolt from the thick bushes and forests of the Rift Valley, Nyanza, Nairobi, Western, Coast and North Eastern provinces that will see Kibaki permanently shift residence to the Muthaiga or Runda of Uganda or Zimbabwe.

Unless Kibaki wants to use our tax shillings to handsomely reward his friends by having them serve on a ‘Why the Coalition Failed Commission’, I cannot see him daring to reduce Raila to the official leader of the opposition. I mean, let’s face it, the very little legitimacy that Kibaki imagines to enjoy flows directly from Raila’s PM post. To injure such a relationship is like cutting the umbilical cord of an underdeveloped fetus while still in the womb.

That said, I fully support the collapse of the coalition but only if it is followed by fresh elections under a brand new ECK….with about twenty-five UN election inspectors at every polling station. I would also like to see about two hundred EU inspectors checking out the vote tallying at KICC. All this is of course unnecessary if Kibaki resigns; in part for organizing Mungiki attacks at State House. This SH meeting particularly pains me. I’m sure that the Mungiki adherents and their financiers drank crates of Fanta and Coca Cola from the SH refrigerator during their meetings there. My friends, it is you and I who, through our taxes, bought those sodas. It follows therefore that we have all participated in aiding and abating Mungiki….at least by quenching their thirst. Hii mambo si nzuri bwana…au vipi?. Fine, steal my vote…but please don’t make me pay for it.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

as the looting continues owing to our sick animal called the GNU lacking a single effective leader appetites are growing and nobody wants the gravey train stopped. A few ministers are working hard mainly ODM while the PNU side are making hay while the sun shines.

It is therefor concievable that there are guys trying to ensure that the looting will continue the problem though are the two principals, kibs and Rao these guys for different reasons are not in the looting spree and do not need to be....but some of their folowers are wallowing in it as we as usual focus our attention on the two......

My take is that its all excitment that wil lead nowhere if Issac Ruto's recent by election, games that led him nowhere are anything to go by....there are some politicians that still have not outgrown the stupid thinking that they can direct the people. kenya has changed and a few greedy politicians ploting in whatever kitchens are not going to direct this country.....they may expose ONM crooks but its folly to think that that will translate to people voting for them......

Almost every plitician in kenya is a crook and we all know that will not be news....the biggest problem is that whatever ODM is PNU is not the alternative...thats the catch.

Sir Alex

Anonymous said...


PNU has no leg to stand on they can go behind dark corners and plot to bring the Coalition government down... Kibaki knows Hague is waiting and that would not be to his best interest:):) as for Uhuru, Martha Karua, Saitoti , Michuki and cronies:) wacha tu.. they rope is already around their necks... so bring down the Coalition government will not help them.. in fact it will hurry up them being picked up and flown to Hague.... let them try... Kenya ina wenyewe..... the people of kenya spoke on the 27th December 2007 and they will come out in mass to speak again..

What remains is to send all this thieving thugs to Lesotho Central where they belong... and land lock them in there... this shiate heads do not have the right to mess Kenya na nimesema...... down with Kibaki and his cronies of thugs.... Hague is where they all belong... if not then Kenyans will show them Justice even Saddam Husein hide in a shiatehole but he was found......

Anonymous said...

What Secrets:) they can pan lies and propaganda all the want, bringing the coalition government down will be their downfall. I look forward to that! Central Lesotho will look like Lebanon. Thieves and murderers deserve to be taught a lesson even Uhuru will stop being a millionaire that said- kenyans will take over all his land shenzi sana hawa central lesotho kikuyu mavi.

Anonymous said...

10:29 AM

Stop your nonsense- which positions in PNU
1. military
2. Intelligence
3. Finance
Back bone of any government do you see any other tribe in PNU heading?? those tribes in PNU other than Kikuyu's are wakamba and wa meru the rest were bought to bring down ODM we all know that- wacha upuzi
PNU will be brought down by their own greed and the Mungiki murderers that they paid to do their dirty deeds then turned round and executed them...

my question remains how stupid are this mungiki foot soldiers that agree to be used then killed by kibaki and cronies like flies.. they must be very thick and un-educated... to sign such an MOU.

Anonymous said...

anon 12:56,
do shut up you LUO shiate incest filled HIV carrier!!
ua molasses is going to Hague. he will never be the president of kenya SHAME!!!!!!
so is Ruto, Kosgeys, Ntimama, Balala, Kawajng, Otieno. Hague express is waiting!!!!!

papa plus said...

Ahhh yes, I love the snell of rotting garbage that is the discourse of Kenya's politics! If PNU wants to break up the GNu then they should go ahead and do whatever they think is to their advantage. Kenyan politics is in the doldrums. Mara jaluo, mara kikuyus, mara...

let me digress to something that we can all be proud of in Africa. From BBC and hongera to Botswana's former president Hon. Festus Mogae

Botswana's Mogae wins $5m prize

Festus Mogae presided over 10 years of growth and stability
Botswana's former President Festus Mogae has won a $5m (£2.8m) prize to encourage good governance in Africa.

Mr Mogae, who stepped down in April after two terms in office, said he was honoured and humbled by the award.

Botswana is one of Africa's most stable countries - it has never had a coup and has had regular multi-party elections since independence in 1966.

Announcing the prize, ex-UN head Kofi Annan also commended Mr Mogae for his action to tackle the Aids pandemic.

The Ibrahim Prize - the most valuable individual annual prize in the world - was set up by Sudan-born telecoms entrepreneur Mo Ibrahim.

As well as the $5m prize, Mr Mogae, 69, gets $200,000 a year for the rest of his life.

Alcohol ban

"One does one's work, one uses one's best endeavours to do a job as well as one could, and if other people then assess it and judge it to be meritorious and worth of recognition it's then honouring and humbling," Mr Mogae told the BBC.

However, he also pointed out that Botswana was already doing well before he became president in 1998.

Born: 1939
Became president: 1998
Stepped down: 2008
Took serious action to tackle Aids
Left Botswana wealthy and stable
Criticised for moving Bushmen

"I did not create the democracy in my country, I consolidated it and deepened it by practiced, accountable governance, respect of the rule of law, independence of the courts, respect for human rights, including women's rights," he said.

But Mr Mogae also inherited a country with one of the world's highest rates of HIV/Aids and he took strong action to tackle it, making Botswana the first sub-Saharan African country where anti-retroviral drugs were widely available for free.

The drugs are known locally as "Mogae's tablets", reports the AP news agency.

"President Mogae's outstanding leadership has ensured Botswana's continued stability and prosperity in the face of an HIV/Aids pandemic which threatened the future of his country and people," Mr Annan said.


Botswana has Africa's highest average income and is seen as its least corrupt country, according to Transparency International.

Kofi Annan announcing the winner
It is the world's biggest diamond producer but unlike other resource-rich countries in Africa, this has not become a source of conflict.

"Botswana demonstrates how a country with natural resources can promote sustainable development with good governance, in a continent where too often mineral wealth has become a curse," Mr Annan said.

Mr Annan also noted that Mr Mogae had tried to diversify Botswana's economy away from its reliance on diamonds.

In 2006, President Mogae's government introduced a law curbing the sale of alcohol and banning it on Sunday.

He blamed alcohol for the spread of HIV/Aids, among other problems.

But Mr Mogae also came in for criticism from lobby group Survival International for Botswana's policy of relocating Bushmen groups away from their traditional homes in the Kalahari desert.

Mr Mogae was succeeded as president by Seretse Khama Ian Khama in April.

Former Mozambican President Joaquim Chissano won the inaugural Ibrahim Prize last year.

kalamari said...

Sir Alex,

To be fair, both ODM and PNU are ‘eating’. To me, their salaries alone amount to absurd grand theft.
Now, I agree with you that this excitement will lead to nowhere. Look, we terribly want these criminals to face The Hague but honestly, the grand children of my grand children will spot grey hairs before a Kenyan politician appears behind that bullet proof glass docket in the Netherlands.
I however disagree with your point suggesting that politicians mistakenly think that they can still direct people. In fact they can and will continue doing so for a long time. I think that we Kenyans actually make that extra effort to follow the most dubious politician available.

Anonymous said...
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UrXlnc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Kifaki,Michuki,Saitoti,Kalonzo:do you see this?????????

Legal limbo for DR Congo warlord

Thomas Lubanga denies ordering atrocities during DR Congo's conflict
War crimes tribunal judges have ruled that Congolese warlord Thomas Lubanga should not be freed but say his trial remains suspended.

Correspondents say the International Criminal Court (ICC) ruling leaves Mr Lubanga in legal limbo.

Mr Lubanga was arrested in 2006, accused of recruiting and using child soldiers during DR Congo's brutal five-year conflict that ended in 2003.

His case would be the first ever to come to trial before the ICC.

The judges dismissed a prosecution appeal against the decision to halt the trial in June but said a further hearing was needed to decide whether he should be released.

"The trial chamber was wrong in finding that the inevitable consequence of the decision to stay the proceedings was his unconditional and immediate release," said presiding judge Sang-Hyun Song.

The case was halted in June, just a week before the trial was due to start, after judges accused the prosecution of withholding evidence from the defence.

Some 200 documents had not been handed over and the judges said this meant a fair trial was not possible.

'Killing order'

Four million people are estimated to have died during the conflict in the DR Congo.

Profile: Thomas Lubanga

Mr Lubanga led the Union of Congolese Patriots (UPC) militia in the north-eastern Ituri district, around the town of Bunia, where fighting continued long after the official end of the war.

In a statement released early last year, the prosecution argued that children had been snatched as they walked to school and forced to fight for Mr Lubanga's ethnic Hema militia against their Lendu rivals.

The child soldiers were later instructed "to kill all Lendu including men, women and children", the prosecution statement said, based on testimony from six children.

Mr Lubanga denied any wrongdoing. His lawyers said he was trying to end the conflict and is being punished by the international community for refusing to give mining concessions in areas he controlled to foreign firms.

The ICC, based in The Hague, was set up in 2002 as the world's first permanent war crimes court.

It was designed to end the need for various ad hoc war crimes courts - including the chambers created to deal with war crimes committed in the former Yugoslavia and the genocide in Rwanda.

UrXlnc said...


perhaps we need some bright spark who knows enough legalese to explain/clarify something here

the dissolution of the coalition govt can be if 10th parliament is dissolved or partners agree in writing or one partner withdraws
we are all aware of that. and i think you are referring to the third option with PNU (or ODM) withdrawing from the coalition

but when you read this document

the impression created or what i i get from reading 15.A. 3 and the sections (c) and (d) is that for the dissolution to be complete or effected to pave way for a new partisan cabinet, only dissolution of the 10th parliament requires no further action, but for the other two options to succeed (withdrawal of one or both parties), another bill has to be introduced and passed through parliament to be enacted to negate the fromation of the coalition government otherwise it will be illegal/unconstitutional for kibaki to form another government with that (peace accord) constitutional amendment bill still in force

this is completely from a layman and if anyone understands this legal jargon (constitutional munbo jumbo) please step up and enlighten us.

chris i do not think that act can be overturned without dissolving the 10th parliament or some tremendous lobbying across the political divide. i doubt that some ignominious kitchen cabinet cannot cook this meal and serve it, but there is a lot of ambiguity in that act and time and again you have been proved right as the events unfold so lets see whats coming ahead.

kalamari said...

Papa Plus,

If what is written about ex-President Mogae is true, then he deserves that princely award.

Now come back to Kenya. $5 million is approx. 390 million Ksh. If mere Kenyan ministers, those whose thievery doesn’t reach the newspapers, can come across twice that amount within a 5 year term, what of a Kenyan president? My point is, what is the real motivation to win Ibrahims’ prize?

People like Moi are busy counting their bank accounts (not the money in them) and care less for accolades, international or otherwise. Kenyatta’s presidential loot is enough to buy all of Ibrahim’s investments, turn around and donate them to charity and still have Uhuru and siblings listed in the billionaire club. Kibaki is not a pauper by any Kenyan presidential standards either….if Anglo Leasing, arms dealings, GR etc are anything to go by.

Knowing well that all three presidents don’t care much for the immaculately framed signed certificate and golden lapel pin that goes with the measly $5 million, the first time a Kenyan wins, it will be because he wants to pay a tip to his plumber and electrician working in their rural homes.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I agree Kalamari. 100%.

I was however looking at it from the stand point of what Americans like to call Patriotism. Can you imagine what pride it must be to have a country stable since 1966 with an upward economic development agenda, multi party politics, and a reduction of HIV rate to single digit %age? Am sure that Mogae doesn't need the $5M. But according to the hierachy of needs, clearly after ascending to the highest office in the land, one will seek to leave an imprint in the world. These are leaders we should all know of, emulate and celebrate.

Anonymous said...

anon1:10 PM

Opps you are still here?? crazy about foreskins? you must be the kikuyu malaya that keep licking Luo foreskins and being paid 5 shillings
Kikuyu malaya's know no boundaries even here on Kumekucha:):) si you are here campaigning for more foreskin to lick, pole sana time out go back to central lesotho and lick those incest filled dicks that have no shame. yani even your mother and sisters are game for you?? how could Kenya allow this thieving, low life incest penis tribe to survive?? I blame it on Moi... he should have finished them. why burn them with curtsy of kibaki in Eldoret church?? castrating all of them should have done the Job..

Oh well all is not lost since Kibaki is busy executing Mungiki youths left right and center( kibaki prefers execution to castration.

UrXlnc said...

aaiissh kalamari


no arguing with that

safcon IPO got 50b target + surplus (also known as oversubscribing) in just a one month period (the surplus which is yet to be refunded presumably earning interest every step of the way as it tries to find its way back to its owners)

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

PNU?? to bring down the government?? what wishful thinking is this? I sincerely dare them at least it will speed up the Hague factor:)

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:28,

wewe shenzi sana LUO incest filled foreskin! Your father died of AIDS and his brother inherited your mother and bore you infected with Aids. Go away you HIV carrier product of incest!

incest is a custom and tradition of LUO. wife inheritance is legal in Luo-land and girls as young as 12 drop out of school due to pregancy and Aids!!!

Anonymous said...

anon 2.30,
a kikuyu malaya is a malaya that's why Kalamari cannot pay up services rendered by a kikuyu malaya!

Anonymous said...

the quality of this blog will thoroughly deteriorate if the moderator doesnt take action.just a thought.....

Anonymous said...

anon2:36 PM

Why do you even bother arguing??
Start with the Murathe's, Waiganjo's (owners of wine and spirits nairobi) the shiatehead slept with all his daughters- go to Gichau former MD power and lightening add Gichuru who slept with his younger daughter pushing his wife to craziness... ask mary Gichuru his elder daughter
do you want me to continue with the list of Prominent Kikuyu's that sleep with their sons and Daughters?? By the way there is proof so do not bother shouting your head off here....

Incest is normal with the Kikuyu tribe it is customary ask your parents.. Ops why bother you come from the same shiate...

Anonymous said...


just as expected,the murderous in ODM have already panicked. ruto,who has blood oozing from his mouth and hands is already saying the report is useless...guess who will be the 1st passanger on Hague express...ha ha haaa them molasses and his other thugs before PNU fills the bus. where is dimwit Taabu and Phil to fight for ruto?...paper tigers with brains suffocated by smelly foreskins

bwa ha ha aaaaaaaaaaaa

Anonymous said...

anon3:40 PM

You are hilarious. forgetting that EMILIO KIBAKI HAS ASKED FOR AMNESTY?? FOR HIMSELF AND HIS CRONIES??HA!HA!!HA!! HEEE!!HEE! he is on his way to the HAGUE with kibaki he has no way out of waki report.... he should enjoy statehouse for now soon he and his cronies will be a guests at the Hague jails:) hee!!he!! na mambo bado

Anonymous said...

Anon 3.03 aka urclnx, it's ok to insult kikuyus but when somebody retalite those insult you and your ilk come out calling for moderation. somebody call you two-faced son of a bitch and thats what you are.
if you want moderation, you must be able to condemn all form of insult whether to kabila adui or to kabili rafikis. insult is an insult and if you are righteous like you claim to be, you should condemn all insult posted here not select the ones that suits you!

Anonymous said...

I have an idea why us KK bloggers buy one second hand bus print HAGUE EXPRESS on its sides and drive it to parliament building and invite the ODM thugs to board.

Anonymous said...

Kenya will be paradise minus KIKUYU,KELENJIN AND JALUOS. These three tribes eptomises everything that is wrong with kenya today and anyday shenzi kabisa hii kabila tatu.

Anonymous said...

Why are school girls in central province felling pregnant like hakuna kesho. these says alot about kikuyus i rest my case.

Anonymous said...

Sir Alex said:
there are some politicians that still have not outgrown the stupid thinking that they can direct the people quickly we forget the long queuess to discard foreskins. One very clever politician! Heheheheee.

Anonymous said...

anon 3:19 aka ivy,

there is no unwanted pregnacies in central, it only happens in Luo-Nyanza. and those who are lucky like you go to have abortion.

Ngunyi Ngunjiri said...

Im I the only one who is getting alarmed by the steady decline in the quality of the contributions to Kumekucha? Is it me or are the majority of contributors peddling and perpetuating ethnic hatred that has for so long worked to our detriment??

I think its time for Kenyans to wake up and smell the coffee. This politicians DO NOT care about you. For all we care, the massacre we saw in December and January was just a means for these idiots to chair the corruption machinery AKA The Government of Kenya.

Only a naive person would imagine that grand corruption is a thing of the past with GNU. Clearly, the
Narc Government looks as white as snow compared to the GNU.

I also have an issue with the people who fail to see the truth as it is. The ethnic cleansing in RV was done in RAO's name, even with his blessing. The revenge attacks in Nakuru and Naivasha were done in The Baks name, with his blessing. Let us not beat about the bush, these are the people who should be sent to The Hague.

However, Waki did not have the balls to include the names of the principals in whose name innocent blood was shed. All is not lost though. The second tier so called "tribal chieftains" will be held accountable for their crimes, and that is the only way we will end impunity.

If the Waki Report is not implemented in full, January will look like a kindergarte playground as compared to what will happen in 2012.

Anonymous said...

ngunyi @5:51

I think it is simplistic to reduce the kenyan government to kibaki and Raila......what happened back in jan had very little to do with the politicians, attributing it to them is but deflecting the issue.......

kenyans were fighting for the right to be heard....and many other grievenaces, remember when RAO went to kisumu and was booed when he tried to mention kibaki.....

The rift valley people were victims of land mismanagement and that was there before the two principals.....there are people who tried to use the occasion to settle there own grievances that had nothing to do with the elections lets set the record straight.

The only guy who has this thing falling on his lap is kibaki he had the state machinery and the intelligence he could have stopped it...RAO only run for is naive to claim that he could control everyone claiming to be his supporter and if you know kenya at all usually this things get done first then they report to the principals or wait to be noticed, it is only in the case of the incumbent where approval is required to use state machinery.....

We know this trick....'its called make RAO look just as bad as kibs' its abit tired let it rest kibs goofed RAO is the saviour afew crooks on both sides also goofed but they did not seek RAOs blessing if your memory serves you right you will remmber that for RAO to be ODM leader was a war so to claim that suddenly he had control of the whole organisation is stretching a point to the rediculous....

Sir Alex

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Sir Alex said:
RAO is the saviour.

Very, very funny, kabila adui.

Anonymous said...

RAO is a saviour for wajaluos only!
He told them to forsake their foreskins and they surely obeyed by dropping their pants imeaditely with a question. Thats what we call a saviour!

Ngunyi Ngunjiri said...

Sir Alex,

I concede that part of what you are saying is true. However, it is higly naive of you to imagine that RAO and The Baks are very different, especially when it comes to issues pertaining to grand corruption. I put it to you that RAO will let you down, and by extension, most of us Kenyans who imagined that his entry into Government will forever end or at least significantly minimize the scale of corruption.

Secondly, it is public knowledge that RAO was in the rallies that the RV mp's called for the removal of 'madoadoa'. While I must concede that at least on paper he has little control over the actions of his followers and colleagues, his noted silence was a pointer to his covert intentions. Furthermore, it is clearly stated in the Waki Report that the clarion call for 'majimbo' had the aforementioned meaning on the ground- which was what we were saying all along.

So, please, give me a break! This things were done in his name too, and infact, it is because of the killings that RAO is the PM now. That is the truth!!

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