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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Coming Soon, Minister for Domo Affairs

Being citizens of a country topping the premier league table of political absurdity we hereby demand a full cabinet minister in charge on NATIONAL DOMO. Readers and bloggers of Kumekucha would better have their last days before their lips and fingers are restrained. We also demand that this innovative venture be actualized with equal portfolio weight in split upper and lower lips.

Before we get distracted to discussing less important sideshows like infrastructure, we must dispense with more weighty matters that appertains to personal growth. We don't eat roads. We must have our national eyes singularly trained on ventures that guarantee speedy returns. The Saficom IPO is upon us and such luck never smiles at your national door twice. The noise makers demanding fidelity to Kenya's privatization act have nothing better to do and they would be better off making hand-written copied of the bible or dictionary.

Indivisible portfolio
Equal and equitable representation is the spice with with democracy is eaten. We demand 210 ministries that will see a minister for every 160,000 Kenyans. We can afford folks. Kenyans are hard working people who have unrivalled knack for results. The collective selective amnesia serves us just right. All the textbook slogans of staying the course never brings food to any table. We must not be denied the beauty and rewards of shortermism.

We have the experience and reputation to milk ourselves dry. There is no need to import a FOREIGN hand to help manufacturer our local cabinet. The fire was extinguished exactly a month a go today and we have no smell of heat anywhere within our borders. Kwani huyo Annan ni nani? Let him enjoy his retirement in peace in Geneva. Please don't disturb Kenya's present serenity and national peace. We top-up generously and all you need is the right tongue. Na kazi iendelee..


Anonymous said...

Why are you in this blog? Any knowledge that you might be related to mama Lucy? Kindly, spare us the nonsense of your domo ministries as you call them!!!!

Anonymous said...

Sir, you forgot to add two very important ministries:
1) The Ministry for Mechanization of Stone Throwing. This is a very important ministry since it appears we will need mass action on a regular basis to keep the PNU thick-heads in line. I can see a situation where the ODM followers might develop fatigue and we need to maximize the work output of the few who will turn-up. Also, by having our best engineering brains focussed on this national endevour we will keep them employed and meet or surpass the 2030 goals of industrialisation of Kenya.
2) Ministry for the Re-education and Rehabilitation of non-ODM voters. This ministry is key to avoiding future inter-ethnic conflicts and increasing our national cohesion. As you are aware, there was a lot of blood letting in ODM zones because some "kabila adui yetu" people voted the wrong. With this ministry they will be taught to vote the right way. So, next time there will be no need to cleanse them from ODM strongholds for they will be voting according to pentagon instructions. In addition, those who prove to be good student/converts can be sent as missionaries to convert their long lost brothers around Mt. Kenya. The success of this ministry will mean that the ministry for Mechanization of Stone Throwing will not be needed after next elections since PNU will be no more.
Sir, let me know if these are good ideas and whether you need them developed further for on-ward transmission to our Maximum Leader.

Anonymous said...

only PNU FOOL Can write such an article full of greed with no care for the ordinary Kenyans who will never be able to buy those shares in Safaricom because already there glaring facts of mis-information and management and Mobitelea- theft!!

Koffi Annan you say ni nani?? i guess you were also ready to continue unleashing the mungiki thugs on innocent Kenyans in Nakuru and Naivasha if Annan did not save the day with the power-sharing deal!! while you were watch T.V from your Muthaiga mansion- happy to see innocent kenyans being slaughtered!!
I see you are not happy with the status quo and you prefer the cabinet 50/50 equal power-sharing should stay a stale mate and raise un ease in the country??

then i can only say you do not deserve to be called or call yourself a true Kenyan!! you are the type of individual that Kenya should get rid of in order to move forward toward a great democracy for the people of kenya!!

Anonymous said...

taabu my friend, why stop at 210? that will not appease everyone wewe!! 210 is too little....why are you being stingy?

please let every councillor, dc, do, pc and chief get in on the parade and have a portfolio unto themselves!!

that way we wont need to have only a minister for domo affairs.....but we can also have a minister for mashada affairs, eastafricayote affairs, toilet affairs, shower affairs, sittingroom affairs, kiss 100 affairs, nationmedia affairs, standard affairs etc!!

i mean why restrict ourselves? these things are beyond our control!!

and why dont you want koffi annan to come? taabu!! we havent yet forked out enough cash for his air fare or his enjoyment of our luxurious hotels!! and please may condoleeza come too we need her to say exactly who gets what ministry....that's the only way we shall be satisfied.

Anonymous said...

+ minister of kubafuness
+ ka-junior minister of hehehe tuseme ni ki srrap mtu kidogo, thats not a big thing mmbut we need someone to take care of that, otherwise hii watu ya worrrod mbank na sijui njonarist hwata ongea too mush.

alafu nataka asssis 10 minister wa settii house ndio kama sitaki mtu akunje setti house nawesa kataa

ni mimi wenu


ndio nimelundii njob. kaa masho

Anonymous said...

Anons @5:20 PM and @7:17PM learn to appreciate irony. Good one Taabu, hehehe. Now can you all say hoyeya!!

Anonymous said...

Taabu, hilarious..Why lie. LOL I guess you have gone through baptism by fire.....I see it is not only RAO who has changed...As if we didn't know you?
I still remember your article ...Yeah that rubbish/takataka you had pasted from Kibaki tena's website on why i should chagua that senile old man and i told you one thing a man who has been in corridors of power since 1969...Has nothing new to offer Kenyans...Admit i was right imagine ati he chaguad Uhuru Kenyatta's name when he was born and right now they are serving in the same govt.....Enyewe Kenya ni Banana republic. Now i agree ...LOL


Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Taabu while we're in the ministry forming frenzy, we may not need a whole ministry but at least a commission to investigate the whereabouts of one Lucy Muthoni. Anon 1.00 only after finding her shall we say hoyeya!

Anons 7.17 you missed Taabu's point.

Anonymous said...

taabu as the name suggests... how dare you mention ANNAN like your thick kikuyu bastards? tread carefully lest you also give birth to another taabu as you flee for your life. the tear gas, the bullets will run dry but our stones can be recycled. so be warned, you are next to idp camp if you make it out of the burning statehouse.

Anonymous said...

Ai Wanjiku, though it is a mystery the whereabouts of Lucy, imagine i dont miss her and i think it is better she is kept out of circulation for now...The better!!! I am wondering if the dear couple have taken a He-goat to Njuri ncheke.....or maybe ..just maybe the many troubles befalling the "duly elected prezzy" Do you think those meru fellas pronounced a curse on the family, i sure hope not!!!! Enyewe things are ngumu


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