Followers

Monday, August 31, 2009

Bomachoge, Shinyalu: Kibaki's True Leadership

While ODM drowns in victory after winning the latest two by-elections, a poignant message lost in the celebratory heat is the above-fray leadership shown by President Kibaki. He left PNU to its own devices and chose not to reduce himself to petty and partisan politicking.

True leadership from the front and by example is practiced and not preached. And Kibaki has just raised the bar to the sky. In any case after WINNING his final term in 2007, he has no political business to conduct in either Shinyalu or Bomachoge.

PNU chair Prof G. K. K. Saitoti tried his best but fell short. But there is no need cause for alarm since ODM capturing Bomachoge from PNU reverses the political equation to what it was before the former lost Embakassi to the later. Game draw and now we can concentrate on our working nation before another holiday is declared to celebrate census results.

The more things change politically the more they retrogress. Well bloggers here have been waxing patriotic demanding political lullabies in the name of solutions without first dissecting the present rot. The by-elections have provided them with more than enough as evident in the emerging destructive so-called Kalonzo-effect that has just entered out political lexicon.

One thing is for sure, you don’t WIN a presidency at all costs and disturb your peace thereafter with politically inconsequential by-elections. Kenya made the turn in December 2007 and we will never the same again. Sorry to disappoint pretenders in search of evangelism.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Time For Clean Break With Ruto and Company

Let the man go!

The Mau has never been the issue. For Ruto, who would have rather lined up behind Kalonzo Musyoka in the 2007 elections, it has all along been about bringing Raila down. To his credit, he has done a masterful job in using the Mau issue to rally the Rift Valley MPs and their electorate against the Prime Minister.

It will not last.

For starters, the Mau can only be a short-term political winner for Ruto and his brand of politics. The Mau has and will continue to be a divisive issue, which Ruto judges correctly will polarize debate in this country and embitter his Kalenjin tribe against Mr. Odinga. Such tactics always work very well. Indeed, they are now being applied against President Barack Obama in the States by xenophobic groups hell bent on denying him a second term by making it untenable for the whites to vote for him in the next elections.

The trouble with this kind of politics is that it inevitably leads to bitterness, fights, and in our case, bloodshed. When Isaac Ruto repeatedly warns us about bloodshed, it is this kind of scenario that plays in his mind. He understands that the Ruto game plan is about using hate as a weapon and has been made its prophet. What sober Kenyans must ask the two Rutos and their supporters is...after the Mau, then what? Will they come up with another wedge issue to divide us? And could it be that the dance they played around the Hague issue was just an effort to be on the other side of Raila for the sake of playing this game they are playing now?

Here is what I would tell the Prime Minister if he sought my advice. Let this dead weight go now. For a man who was elected to lead the nation, leading is what you must do.

Of course Mr. Odinga can't walk away from the fact that he got where he is through the support of our brothers and sisters from the Rift Valley, but that support never meant he was obligated to support everything the folks from that province threw his way. For example, why would he allow himself to look so indecisive by being like Ruto who now supports the Hague, now not? Or the Ruto who now wants people out of the Mau, now not? Is this a man who can lead his people, leave alone Kenya?

As Ruto enters his alliances in the future, we can only wish him well. I hope such an alliance will draw in the likes of Kenyatta...another man wanted by the Hague, and Kalonzo Musyoka...that traitor who sold Kenya for thirty pieces of silver when the nation was reeling. If that trio is the new leaders we must face in 2012, then let's walk with our heads held high. Maybe they'll be at the Hague, save for Kalonzo, answering for their crimes in funding and providing inspiration to tribal militias that killed over a thousand Kenyans.

And one other thing. Ruto will find out, just like Raila did, that the Kenyan voter is just one element in the leadership equation of Kenya. There is that other constituency called the international community. When that constituency stands against you, it is difficult to win Kenya. Indeed, at times I think that is why Raila has played safe with that entity. It is a lot easier to fix the thinking of the Kenyan electorate than fix the worldview of the world community about Candidate X.

So if I were Raila and those who mean well for Kenya, this is the time to seek and form alliances that draw in men and women who won't whip up tribal animosity and hate against other groups, men and women who will move this nation forward as a united Kenya, not those who will perpetually trap us in the old, discredited politics of tribal alliances.

It is a time to think issue not tribe.

Let the man go now!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Enumerators Stirs President's Foul Mood

News update
The 2009 census exercise has kicked off to a storm when enumerators incited President Kibaki's foul mood when they asked him about the actual size of his family. The head of state was not amused especially when asked to specify his spouse/s. Heads will definitely roll at the bureau of statistics.

********************************
Working Nation Takes Holiday to Count Tensed Tribes
It is census time and Kenyan style a holiday has been declared for this historic exercise. But while knowledge of demographics and all its varianst are important for national planning, do we have to resort to many holidays for our working nation?

This will be the fifth census for Kenya since 1969. Just like all other institutions and activities we inherited from the colonialist, we have not KENYANIZED our census apart from counting native faces. The 10-yearly exercise has simplye been reduced to a national ritual.

Before apologists fall over themselves throwing epithets in defense of thoughtlessness they better try a honest reflection. We don't have to operate like robots to answer to the 10 year timetable in counting deeply divided tribes.

Typical Moi took it to extreme levels by creating non-existent subtribes for pure political expediency among perceived oppositionists. On the other hand he came up with mega-tribes to boost political supremacy. Just ask yourselves what is common among the Pokots or Turkans with the Nandis apart from being Nilotes.

The whole census exercie leaves you with the gut feeling that it is just another conduit for the politically correct to draw some more blood from prey Kenya. The country is so divided and tensed, counting tribes would be the last agenda on any leader worth his name.

But hey, this is Kenya owned and patented by political scoundrels. We are so unique we heal when tensed by being reminded that we are different.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Patent Pending

What is in a name?quite rightly William Samoei Ruto does not own the patent to the name his parents gave him. Yet this same name of his seems to be owned by a mischevious shady and shadowy copycat determined to embarass the hard working Eldoret North MP with close shaves of the uncomfortable kind that cast shadows not favorable politically.

This unpatented name has done enough pseudo harm to raise suspicious eyebrows on the real agriculture minister. From being mistaken as being the identity of the cabinet minister banned from the United States early this year through to suspicions about that name appearing on the infamous Waki envelope with a list of post election violence perpetrators and now that name allegedly being one of the those alloted Agricultural Development Corporation land. On all these counts however the authentic owner has always been consisten in clearing the air of any misconceptions that may have been surrounding the misuse of his person

All these coincedences may have prompted the minister to ask himself the question "do Kenyans really know who i am"? Kenyans will have to keep the answer to that question close to their chest just in case it will prove too costly to reveal in the near future. On the other hand what we are seeing might be the dawn of a new era in the political landscape involving real politik warfare using never before deployed tactics of literally cloning your political opponents and liberating the doppelganger to go undo any good the REAL person may have done. A good example would be at a public function for example one president could safely be tucked away at night sleeping in the confines of his bedroom while the doppelganger stands in his place to be sworn in at the ceremony

Friday, August 21, 2009

Masters of Duplicity, Perils of Parallel Actions


The term figurehead had never acquired a poignant meaning in Kenyan political lexicon. The two centres of power are really working overtime to create a false picture of harmony. Well, evidence and history will leave those young or naive enough to trust the gimmicks really disappointed.

The last few weeks have witnessed tough talk and directives that are designed to be ignored and never followed. Only in Kenya do you have a commander-in-chief issuing an edict for immediate eviction but no subsequent actions by his subordinated to effect the same. We heard the confirmation that Migingo is Kenya’s ruled by Uganda who have declared no census on the island come next Monday.

And the evil of parallel authorities serving selfish interest doesn’t stop there. On paper there is only one Kenya Police but the reality confirms two forces. While Major Ali heads the regular police wing, ex-Nakuru DC Kinuthia Mbugua is busy arming and modernizing the AP wing for obvious reasons. Besides parallel commands, the two bosses owe their loyalty to different individuals and not the institutions they lead.

Misplaced enthusiasm
Meanwhile the PM has been handed a sturdy velvet noose. Poor man! He is meant to coordinate and supervise some painful and unpopular activities by ministers already scheming for 2012. How I would love to be proved wrong but I fear not.

Raila’s enthusiasm will be severely fatigued and frustrated by vested interests. The history of such a disappointment is just months past when he was reminded that Muhoho is not ordinary. Meanwhile let living in serial denial mutate into all its known and unknown variants.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Fallacy of Sharing Two Centres of Power


You know you are a failed state when the country’s institution constituted to fight corruption abdicates its responsibility and instead seeks divine intervention to achieve that mandate. They should resign so that we appoint Cardinal Njue to head KACC for free. Boy, aren’t we geniuses who can afford the cheek to mock God together with the Holy Book? That is Kenya for you and we are erratically matching on to vision 2030.

Almost 50 years after FLAG independence, our original quest to conquer the trio menace of hunger, disease and ignorance has been overcome only in tons of paper and no result to show for the gimmicks. Meanwhile the politicos are all dreaming and scheming on how to share raw power.

Power rationing must never be mistaken for power sharing. Power abhors vacuum and all the eloquence in articulating new vision amounts to nothing but hot air designed to expand political egos. The truth is with limping institutions, Kenya is only cheating herself by making impression of motions bereft of any meaningful movement.

Mocking God
The numerous political posturing in the last two months can only be traced to PS Muthaura’s hospitalization and subsequent recuperation. Everybody is jostling to fill the void he left. But soon the schemers will come crashing down when the real power levers revert to the rightful owners.

We are not permanently warming hellhole's bottom because of lack of glossy blue prints. It is the acute dearth of political will. The current crop of leaders is only entertaining us with circular motions.

With their theatrics, the distance covered may be enormous but unfortunately the true displacement remains ZERO. We will eventually arrive at the starting point very exhausted.

Aborted revolution
Look around you what do see, paralysis and anarchy galore. Basic necessities such as water, energy, food and security have been cheaply branded emergencies. What is more, 10 days after an EXECUTIVE order from the commander-in-chief to evict forest settlers nobody moves, nobody cares what the political rant was all about.

Well, political IMPOTENCE and MORAL DEATH manifests itself in numerous forms and shapes. We must re-invent ourselves fast politically before 2012 after our 2002 revolution was aborted. OLE WETU.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Begging With Huge, Exotic, Gold-Plated Bowl


We are not a failed state. We are sovereign and we have told every patronizing neo-colonialist just as much. We need no lectures from foreigners. But hey, here we come gold-plated bowl in hand begging for food lest we go extinct from hunger.

The international community must help us save souls otherwise we will have NOBODY to count come census day on August 24. And they must do so with no strings attached because soon we will be on our own feet once we DISCOVER alternative and safe sources of energy that can provide power and water to our homes and industries.

The 40 plus Cabinet Ministers are working overtime to help us manage these crises. They need unwavering support from all patriotic Kenyans. Let us help save Kenya from herself please.

Is It Time To Drop Equity Bank?

The evidence is no longer anecdotal. Equity Bank is not for us all!

Over the years, since this bank started operating in Kenya, there have been recurrent complaints from a growing section of the Kenyan populace who feel the bank serves only the interests of a certain community. In keeping with my practice to breath fire when I think things aren't going right, let me say that the community folks refer to is our brothers and sisters from Central Province. It doesn't help matters that the bank is heavily staffed by men and women from that region. So if perception is anything to go by, it is time for people across the country, who feel the bank does not serve their interests, to close their accounts and walk away.

A secret analysis of the bank's trends was conducted by folks I won't name here after complaints about the bank's lending patterns reached a crescendo early this year. The findings are indeed troubling. First and foremost, it is now clear that the bank generally lends larger sums of money to Kikuyus than it does to folks from elsewhere, unless those folks are supper-rich and would pay back the money lent to them within a few days. according to that study, this amounts to the bank using funds from communities across the country, who bank with it, to enrich the region from where its top management emanates. This is a morally indefensible practice.

Then there is the practice of loading key positions within the banks hierarchy with members of the House of Mumbi. In another lifetime, we used to call that kind of thing tribalism. The problem with this practice is that the decision-making committees are automatically dominated by folks from Central Province. Given that state of affairs, chances that loan applications from non-Central Kenyans are scrutinized and turned down at a higher rate than would be ordinarily acceptable if the decision-makers were a lot more mixed.

If you add the fact that Equity Bank's ATMs are down at the end of every month to the troubling lending trends, and the fact that the bank boasts some of the longest lines in the history of Kenyan banking, what you have is a bank that people should be fleeing, not celebrating. And by the way, those rumors you've heard about the bank's political connection are not unfounded. Looking at where the donor funds to the government are pumped and where top politicians from Central Province bank, you can't deny this political-connection reality. Lest I sound naive, let me say that in and of itself, the fact that Central political and corporate heavyweights bank at Equity is not a problem; the problem is whether the bank will survive when President Kibaki is no longer its unofficial patron.

Can Equity Bank be trusted to get it right?

As it's presently constituted and run, NO!

Fellow Kenyans, what I'm saying is that the time to walk away from a bank that does not serve the interests of this nation's people is now. From Kisumu to Nakuru to Kakamega to Isiolo, the time to reassess our allegiance to this institution is today, not tomorrow. If we wait till tomorrow, we'll have unwittingly participated in the empowerment of one community at the expense of the ones we come from. That is not what we set out to do when we opened accounts at Equity.

So let's work with banks that will empower Kenyans equally. Unless Equity meets the Lord and gets baptized!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Conducting Choir of Denial: 10 Ways To Survive In Dark Thirsty Hungry Kenya

Following Martha Karua’s unprecedented move to take the principals head on abroad, Kenyans would benefit a lot by borowing her deadly venom. For starters we need her steely guts to confront the myriad calamities that have taken permanent residence within our borders.

Here are 10 time-tested strategies we can adopt to see us overcome them:

1. Complain bitterly about cost of living to anyone within earshot


2. Harbor deep bitterness and resentment angrily within because of country’s state of affairs

3. Don’t shower or bath-just “splash” necessary area

4. Rising food prices-loose weight freely due to food shortage

5. Read trusted Standard newspaper now only once a week save on shillings

6. Power rationing-can’t watch always trusted KTN

7. Biting drought-drill borehole in backyard due to water shortage

8. Ration phone air-time- use smoke signals to communicate with friends and family

9. Endure nightmare traffic jams while road rage builds slowly due to unruly roads

10. Discover uchumi wa kadogo-enjoy small packets of essentials from neighbouring slums

Is Imanyara Fighting Impunity or Kibaki?


Honourable Gitobu Imanyara has crafted a private member’s bill seeking to establish a local tribunal to try PEV perpetrators. This comes after MPs unanimously shot down Martha Karua’s bill proposing the same. What is more, they threatened a repeat performance to Mutula Kilonzo. The turnaround amounts to liking the message but hating the messenger or grabbing ownership of what you hitherto loothed.

Imanyara’s bill comes with the knockout punch that specifically strips the president of immunity. He says his singular goal is to end impunity. So the question follows whether he equates the reigning impunity to the person of the president.

Don’t be vague, let’s go to The Hague was the clarion call of the heard in parliament. They chanted and shouted themselves hoarse but in the long run to show the MPs who the real bosses were, the cabinet disabused them of any pretensions of power and came with the TJRC gimmick.

Imanyara and his ilk may mean all the good things for Kenya. But one is left wondering whether personalizing the crusade against an individual and not the office takes the wind off the legal sails.

Parliamentary dictatorship
What is more, Imanyara intends to give MPs the exclusive power of parliament, executive and judiciary all to themselves. They will debate, legislate and enact the bill without reference to any other branch of government. One would wish MPs were that objective and honest to be trusted with this parliamentary dictatorship.

This impunity hydra mutates into many shapes and forms. Granted, any Kenyan suffocating from yoke would readily and unreservedly support anybody with a blade aimed at any of the monster's many heads. But the double standards and hypocrisy leaves you fearful of another mutant masquerading as a saviour. NA BADO.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Fare Thee Well Maruge, Face of Courage


Mzee Kimani Ng’ang’a Maruge, the Guinness World Record holder for being the oldest student, has succumbed to cancer aged 89. He lived his course and in his death Kenya has lost a resilient face of determination and perseverance.

Enrolling in class one at the age of 84, Maruge was courage unrivalled. He may not have realized his dream to complete primary education, but Mzee Maruge epitomized pure DETERMINATION.

Maruge surely and bravely breathed new life into the cliche IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO TRY. Fare thee well Kimani.

Kibaki on Mau Warpath, Kenya Turning Corner


The General has given eviction orders. In one firm action, President Kibaki has emphatically ordered all Mau settlers out. And he is not done yet. Failing to obey will see you arraigned before court. That is pure leadership from the front and by example. So who said we lack leadership?

President Kibaki couldn’t have been more inclusive. He first met Rift Valley MPs two weeks ago to discuss the forest evictions and national healing. Kenyans must be prepared to usher in new dawn, thanks to Kibaki. We must learn to start revering our own prophet at home lest we loose him to other deserving nations.

Kibaki’s blade will crack all thieving skulls. His unselfish actions will not spare anybody, not even ex-president Moi and AP commandant (ex-DC, Nakuru) Kinuthia Mbugua who together own more than a district hived off Mau.

Desperate times calls for firm actions to confront challenges and Kibaki has just done that. Soon, the starving 5m Kenyans will be sufficiently fed and Kenyans will kiss goodbye to power rationing thanks to Kibaki’s foresight.

The electoral reforms seminar at KICC provided the launching pad. The Honorable VP aptly summed it up when he eloquently and diplomatically reminded us all was not lost with the unfortunate madness of 2007. We just slipped and forward-looking Kenyans have seized the opportunity to MOVE ON in securing a bright future for themselves.

What is more, we are cruising on the superhighway to modernism with automated voting. The shame and grime we visited upon ourselves from the flawed electoral process is history. The President himself vowed at KICC that Kenya will never see the kind of violence that followed the 2007 poll. And with the power bestowed on him, knows what he is talking about and he will deliver.

Saving best for last
Election manipulators are better advised to seek exile. We have no more room presiding officers who come to Nairobi with one set of results, detour to their homes and evaporate in the thin air. No more computer geeks who get inside computers magically alter data.

Kibaki couldn’t have come out so forcefully at the right time. He has effectively killed two precious birds with his single action. He has put golden letters to his legacy and saved Kenya from self-destruction. All he needs is our collective support.

With that magic wand, Kibaki’s actions have banished the evils of vote rigging, electoral malpractices and bloodshed. HE has come out in his best element and woe unto political hangers on. No more deodorant would have been effect in sanitizing our polluted social and political environment following the bungled 2007. Bye to impunity, cronysm, political intolerance and primitive ethnicity.

A WISE good leader is a constant source of overflowing optimism in the face of famine, water shortages and power rationing. Folks, a new dawn is here and we owe it to Kibaki. In return he needs our unwavering support. He surely saved his best for the last - FOR US.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Electoral Reforms Mirage from Dinosaurs

We are not in the present hell hole for lack of brilliant ideas but failure to utilize them because of political expediency. The trio famine, ignorance and disease that defined our independence clarion call remain a mirage. The useless and myriad commissions and committees continue to suffocate Kenyans.

The new Ahmed Hassan-led IIEC outfit is composed of brilliant Kenyans and already they have shown what they are capable of doing. But it is not what is put on paper that counts when the power wielders can trash anything thanks to obtuse impunity. We only fool ourselves by going in circles in search of solutions only to come out with same old stuff packaged differently.

The easily excitable scoundrels are all glee with the workings of electronic voting. But these are the same people whose cronies penetrated the discredited ECK and abandoned the use of computers and shamelessly opted for manual counting to facilitate voting fraud.

Granted, the evils of ethnicity, irresponsible utterances by politicians and media sensationalism played part in 2007’s PEV. But it is typical Kenyan trait to live the coloured lie in failing to accept responsibility for the action that triggered the near-Armageddon.

Critical mass
The more things change the more they really remain the same. But one thing is for sure, these dinosaurs speak of reluctantly speak of reforms which has succeeded in fueling Kenyans need of true change. No amount of procrastination will buy them time when we acquire that critical mass.

They bastardized Kenya's democracy and seeing the same faces participating in a mock voting exercise amounts to salting our national raw wounds. It is impossible to author any new order out of the present quagmire with these dinosaurs in charge.

Before you know it the real power brokers will have mint spanners in the works with eyes singularly trained for a repeat performance in 2012 albeit with a different face holding the bible in darkness.

Kenya is overflowing with enthusiasm for REAL REFORMS but the acute lack of both leadership and political will is our singular bane. Look no further than the forgotten IDPs who be become but a footnote as politicians selfishly scheme for 2012.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Food Crisis: Time for Vultures to Scavenge


At the risk of being branded a doom sayer, past experience points to another opportunity for enterprising Kenyan leaders to make a killing over the present famine crisis. Times like these will prod the best thieving minds with power and money to import maize duty free and hoard it to create artificial shortage.

With no singular virtue defining us as Kenyans, expect the political and economic vultures to circle the carcass as they suck the last drop of blood. And lest we forget, all the WAR TIME theatrics are all clever gimmicks crafted with no intention of any real movement.

The plastic motions to confront famine whose symptoms have been staring us in the face for more than a year are smart ploy to cool off from Mau and stillborn TJRC. After doing commerce with Kenya’s dying masses, trust the scoundrels to manufacture another crisis to postpone Hague and Mau.

Here we are as a country with top notch academicians and well-paid parastatal heads now running like headless chicken as Kenyans starve to death. And to soothe tribal egos we shout ourselves hoarse about self-financing our national budget. Add to that the mirage of vision 2030 and you get a soothing melody that sends a whole nation to their collective death bed.

Leaking moral fibre
The genesis of all ailments afflicting Kenya is principally traceable to acute lack of leadership. Instead of confronting challenges, what we have are half-measures to deodorize stinking rot underneath. The moral fibre is so much shredded none of its threads can withstand any iota of credibility.

Meanwhile the next looting and thieving frenzy will start with the duty-free importation of maize. Take it a step further and you have the big boys importing phantom standby generators meant to ease power rationing. These are the fraudulent schemes of vices that define us as a nation.

All else are political theatrics designed to keep us engaged and enslaved to the present rot. NA BADO.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Famine Top Excuse, Mau and TJRC Dead

Just when the noose was tightening around the cabinet following their contemptuous decision to force TJRC down the throats of Kenyans, they have just up gradated the debilitating famine to a convenient emergency. Our smart political Alecs never suffers the dearth of creative ideas to disguise challenges before them.

With donors not buying the TJRC facade and promising no funding, the kite lost both wings before leaving the ground. Forget all the balderdash that we finance our national budget. That phantom declaration is principally aimed to create a sense of false pride among Kenyans as the looters go on a spree emptying our national coffers and auctioning Kenya to Libyans.

Look at Mau and the dirty tricks involved. While one side of the administration is left to do the heavy lifting, the other consorts with the same MPs hell bent on reaping maximum political capital at the expense of conservation. Inciting Mau peasants is easy for politicians who in real sense are protecting their own selfish interests at our national expense.

Raila may have just been unwittingly handed the velvet political noose. The Jewish folklore of fattening a lamb before sacrificing it has never been so prophetic. The Mau crisis was one that was started with the singular purpose of not solving it.

24-hour courts
You don’t expect Moi and Kinuthia Mbugua to vacate their large farms guarded by GSU just like that. Kenya has its owners. The parameters for dealing with the Kenyan masses and the masters are different as day and night.

The Cabinet must be smiling from ear to ear for the godsend DISCOVERY of famine that will soon make all of us forget any traces of impunity. Meanwhile the pests continue sucking our last drop of blood as they grandiose paper proposals. After the 24-hour economy now comes grandiose 24-hour court sessions. What next? NA BADO.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Evil Trinity: Contempt, Impunity and Immunity

Let the truth be told, the unspoken utmost fear is President Kibaki being held personally responsible as commander-in-chief for all the post election violence. When the security machinery kills RIOTERS, the buck stops at the Commander-in-Chief who must have overtly or covertly given those orders.

You can choose to bury your head in the sand in denial all you care but only one person MUST be held responsible for the breakdown in law and order and the subsequent bloodshed in the control of lawlessness. Only the state has monopoly of violence. Hiding under two-wrongs-make-a-right facade is a cheap short at security in numbers gimmick.

Apologists to the present regime can hide under truncated ICC mandate but not for long. Most Kenyans are comfortable serially living national lies. We are allergic to making hard decisions no matter the challenge facing us. What to do, someone else (read The Hague) must come and clean up our messes.

We can circumscribe all the beautiful circular motions we want but twisting the nasty truth will not make it vanish. The NSIS saw it coming and promptly warned the relevant offices. And what did they do? Well, the script had been crafted and rehearsed. No amount of dire warning would let the National Security Council (no pizes for guessing its members) change tact or give in. Kenya has its owners and we all unwittingly dissects the effects ignoring the 2007 cause.

Settling for a suboptimal compromise singularly crafted to please selfish competing interests of tribal warlords is a kin to neatly bottling a deadly apocalypse. Soon the deceptive threads will give way and the red river of blood will flow fast and furious. But scoundrels would prefer to baptize a grave as a rut oblivious of the fact that the true difference lies only in their dimensions.

Evil reign
The ghosts born in December 2007 are growing bigger and won’t exit our borders any time soon. Faint hearts bred on deception would cheaply brand that whining. Well, living in self-denial is the genesis of self-destruction.

We speak of impunity as if it is some alien object from outer space. Nothing epitomizes impunity more than the obtuse contempt Cabinet shoved down the throat of Kenyans by opting for the phantom TJRC headed by pretenders and peddlers of diplomatic/peace CVs.

The cabinet is simply telling Waki and the selfish, querulous bunch of MPs who the boss is - UTA DO? What is more, the cabinet’s fear for MPs is an extrapolation of bastardized democracy as expertly engineered during the 2007 polls.

The MPs may have thought they had the executive by the balls. Not quite when the executive is the alpha and omega as originators of impunity. Even Imanyara’s well-meaning manoeuvre to set up a local tribunal independently by parliament while bypassing the presidency is a kite without wings. The hitherto absolute and abject fear of the Tenth Parliament has been turned on its head. No surprise here.

Of whiners and pretenders
Pretender here often hide under platitudes in re-defining ICC mandate oblivious of the naked fact that their poorly disguised concept of presidential immunity is a dead end under international crime context. Refusing to look the ugly truth in the face only succeeds in postponing the inevitable explosion.

While the genuine IDPs remain relegated to the footnotes of present leadership, we shamelessly applaud their fraudulent political schemes. If not fattening an opponent before political slaughter, our political masters dream of unholy alliances of tribal warlords. Well, the joke is squarely resting on our heads.

The evil trinity of impunity, contempt and immunity is what accurately defines the mindset of our past and present rulers. All else are sideshows and acts meant to propagate the same selfish interests. The saving grace it that the wishes of majority of Kenyans for The Hague trials will eventually come. Only that the present pretenders are expensively buying time, but not forever.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

From The Archive: Kumekucha Classic

Majority Of Kenyans Favored Senator Obama’s Remarks, Poll Reveals

A recent online poll has clearly shown the sentiments of the Kenyan people towards Senator Barack Obama and the remarks he made in Nairobi which seem to have greatly angered the Kenyan government.

The poll results clearly portray a government that is directly not in sync with the thinking of the very electorate that brough them into power and from which they will seek votes once more in the December 2007 polls. It is clear evidence that the Kibaki administration has completely los touch with the ordinary people of Kenya, whom the senator seems to have a much better understanding of.

Here are the results of the online poll;

(Based on 684 votes)
Poll Question: Was Senator Barack Obama's speech in Nairobi justified?

Yes 81.0%

No 19.0%

The online poll is ongoing at the Nation media group site.

Chris

Friday, August 07, 2009

Bye Hilary Clinton, You’re Obama’s Catapult

She came, shouted herself hoarse and left plenty of heat with no trace of light. Hilary Clinton was such a powerful catapult for Obama who will not reduce himself to gracing our shores soon. And as predictable as the sun sets in the east Hilary took the moral high ground delivering great lecture to an unwilling audience.

Her theatrics are over and we are back to own ways. Hilary and Obama are better advised that no amount of noise will make us deviate from our goals. They must know that post election violence which they often exploit to as a pretext to harass us is our exclusive making.

We know the colour and taste our own blood better and we have more pressing issues like IDPs to settle instead of watching video links from Washington. Clinton can shout all the much she cares about reforms but we know we have our own IRON LADY Martha who is real steel with the penchant to never taking hostages nor suffering fools lightly.

POTUS and PORK
So POTUS Barack Obama takes the relationship with Kenya very seriously and very personally? So what? Yes he can mouth all the platitudes but he cannot hold any candle to our own PORK who was already a don when he was born.

US should be the last country to lecture anybody on impunity. And we are miles ahead of them in terms of human rights and good governance. Look who between Kenya and US is a signatory to the Rome Statute.

So Hilary waxes democratic and articulate by reminding us that fighting impunity is like a rite of passage and the only road forward. So what, we have heard that before. In fact we are treading that bloody road since December 2007. Leta ingine.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Working Nation Labouring in Pitch Darkness

Its hard to believe acute chronic power rationing is back with us again. Usual culprits Kenya Power and Lightning are trying not to offend the sensibilities of Kenyans by calling it power load management scheme when every faculty screams reminisence of 1998 and 2000 blackouts. A big stick is indeed a spoon in 2009

Beginning tomorrow twice a week and for the forseable future we will be living and working in pre-colonial village times using the sun for natural illumination until just before dusk. There will however be no real-power sharing at night which is good news for after dark revellers because they will get to continue enjoying their nocturnal activities in the light. KPLC saw it fit not to give criminals and hooligans more cover of darkness than they already deserve

The only thing that can get a country repeatedly into this type of energy crisis situation we're in is lack of straight and forward thinking.One can only wonder what happened to plans and finances to expand the country's sources of electrcity. we are bequeathing the amply deficient legacy of successive unsuccessful governments who must surely have been unable to see past beyond their noses when it came to fending for Kenyans. leo haijakucha see you in the dark

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

America Must Let Kenya Bleed Herself Dead

So US foreign secretary Hilary Clinton has arrived and even before opening her mouth Kenya is the recipient of all barbs. Already Johnnie Carson is breathing fire and brimstone. The good ex-envoy to Nairobi is wielding the proverbial big stick singling our Wako and Aaron Ringera for thrashing.

Clinton will come, kick all the dust, generate all the heat and leave us with no light. And the bogeyman Carson must not belittle the world-renown lawyer Wako whose unique and sharp intellect Kenya has been lucky to enjoy for close to two decades. Johnnie needs to ask East Timorese what a brilliant legal mind Wako is before he suffers the wrath of permanent smile.

By attacking Ringera, America is becoming a global activist serving the interest of our numerous selfish NGOs. The dragon slayer is one smart lawyer whose Shakespearean pedigree is unrivalled. Show me any more qualified Judge speaking the right language to replace Ringera and I will show you a dreaming Waki.

Our own PORK
For goodness sake the K in KACC is for Kenya and not Kansas. And the ex-junior senator of New York must not act as Obama’s catapult to vomit on our lawns. We are a sovereign country and we can butcher ourselves all the much we care and only us can stop that not POTUS nor Hilary. We have our won intellectual PORK.

The West's obsession with so-called Agenda Four is nauseating. Four comes after three and we have no Agenda Five, so why the hullaballoo? We will tackle REFORMS at our own pace and we won't allow ourselves to be pushed nor please anybody. Kenya has its owners and the tenants including the enveoys must know their legal limitations.

TJRC is originally ours and we won’t modify to please global bullies, NEVER. The Friday cabinet meeting will be used to drive the point home and leave pretenders to power holding the political bathtub without the baby. NA BADO.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Kiplagat: River of Deceptive Stream of Tears

So the Truth, Justice and Reconciliation commission has been sworn in and lucrative jobs created for its members. Well, the words spelling TJRC is what we lack in abundance and the commissioners will dutifully help expand dearth of the same.

We are a country whose citizens collective live beautiful lies. Here we are shamelessly talking of truth while telling destructive lies in denying that nothing happened. I guess in our blind pursuit to expand egos we have to self-destruct completely so that a new Kenya can sprout from the fertile rivers of blood.

We know the cause of the present problems but dare not delve into them. Instead we are busy with platitudes discussing the effects of the same monster we created in silence. Add that to the deceptive nature of choosing the commissioners and you complete a picture created exclusively to buy time and whitewash.

We are a country allergic to facing the truth itself. What is more, we opt for numerous commissions to buy time and wish away challenges. We shamelessly form commissions to investigate domestic matters of the president at taxpayer’s expense. We are so creative at serving selfish interests so much so that we cleverly scheme to fix political opponents using smartly packaged state apparatus.

Hawking peace, diplomatic CV
The present South Africa may have been defined by its TJRC. While we shamelessly cut-and-paste any foreign concept to create a pretence of motion with no intention to move, we have formed a TJRC with no clear cut structure or objective. The Kiplagat commission is just another opportunity to draw handsome remuneration at the expense of suffering Kenyans.

SA had Tutu as a symbol of unadulterated integrity. In Kenya we have already seen crocodile tears from a person charged with the mandate to steer a kleenex commission already leading by example with streams of plastic tears.

Kenyans are so good at hawking deceptive diplomatic and peace-making CVs. Just ask Sudan and Somali delegates of the hollowness and arm twisting these diplomats visited upon them.

Bethwel Kiplagat was Ouko’s PS when he was butchered and his loud silence spoke volumes as a passive accomplice in the heinous crime. Add that to Justice Minister’s glittering CV as a personal lawyer to a kleptocrat and you get a pair that aptly epitomizes the collective lie Kenyans love to live.

Hilary Clinton Keep Off, Kenya is Sovereign

By marshaling thee hitherto divided cabinet to unanimously endorse no Hague no local tribunal, President Kibaki has shown unique leadership from front and example. Hilary Clinton must know that Kenya is sovereign and stop spreading Obama’s lies that we are corrupt.

Acts of neocolonialism as propagated by Human Rights Watch must be resisted at all costs and with all might. The international NGO HRW is trying to sneak in Professor Alston’s hatred for Wako and Major Ali. We saw it before and rejected their innuendos and we will reject it again.

Wako is Kenya’s longest serving AG and with his impressive global CV, Kibaki couldn’t ask for a more able legal mind with a permanent smile to match. We know our murderers and we are well placed to deal with them without Ocampo's theatrics. We cannot afford to indignity of hanging a future president out to dry.

Obama must stop visiting shame upon us via catapult. He snubbed us last month and Clinton must not assume the proxy role to insult our national pride. Let Jonnie Carson go nostalgic and visit the Mara. Shame on Speaker Marende for inviting foreigners to help us solve problems we have lived comfortably with since independence and more so after the unfortunate 2007 election.

There are numerous ways of skinning a cat and provided you don’t sit on it hence risking lethal claws on your rear side, the job’s end justifies the means. Smart President Kibaki and the cabinet outwitted hostile MPs by showing the mob who the boss is. The rest of Kenyans must learn to take five course meal marinated in obtuse contempt. It never constipates.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

From The Archives: Kumekucha Classic

special weekend edition classic kumekucha throwback from the archives

7 Things That Will Happen To Kenya If Kibaki Is Re-elected

Most Kenyans are like the proverbial Ostrich that when faced with a rapidly approaching forest fire, prefers to bury its' head in the sand and hope that the fire will just go away.

The rapidly approaching "fire" is the re-election of President Mwai Kibaki for a second term. Kenyans are well able to stop this happening, especially the young people of Kenya who just need to unite and speak in one voice.

There are even those Kenyans who feel that a Kibaki re-election may not be such a bad thing after all. The feel that the economy has recovered and is growing at unprecedented levels and Kanu is out of power.

The facts on the ground are a little different. One thing in particular that Kenyans have failed to see to see, or feel the effects of, is the so-called economic growth. I tend to agree with the economist's view that I feel is very close to the truth that points in a different direction for the answers to the current so-called strength of the Kenyan economy. It is believed that Kenyans who are now scattered all over the world have been sending money back home for investment and upkeep at unprecedented levels which has kept the Kenyan shilling very strong and cushioned the economy against current adverse effects like that of rising world oil prices. Apart from that the economic miracle of the Kibaki government is a mirage at best and a bad tasteless joke at worse.

Whatever your opinion may be, here is what Kenyans should expect from a Mwai Kibaki Re-election victory in 2007;

i) Disaster And Civil Unrest On A Massive Scale: Continuation of the current policies that ignore the plight of the majority of ordinary Kenyans especially in the area of job creation (the position of the Kibaki administration: Interest rates are low and banks are now eager to lend, why don't the penniless get working, go to the nearest bank and borrow money to start a business?). This administration believes that the Constituency Development Fund is enough to cater for the millions of Kenyans now living below the poverty line. This is a terrible mistake because this is a time bomb that will surely go off. We have already seen some tiny explosions in terms of rising levels of crime that are overwhelming the better equipped and much larger police force we have today. This big time bomb is bound to go off within a year of President Kibaki's re-election. Only a brand new administration headed by a new younger generation of Kenyans, preferably non-golf playing individuals, have any hope of seeing and addressing this priority with the urgency it deserves. It would also help if at least a few influential faces in such a new administration have used a pit latrine recently.

ii) More Commissions Of Inquiry: If you thought Moi had overused commissions of inquiry, then President Kibaki has taken them to new heights. He is now spending taxpayers money to constitute commissions of inquiry to probe members of his own immediate family. Something that can be sorted out in a 10-minute family meeting one lazy Sunday afternoon long before even the public gets wind of it, now takes up public funds and the valuable time of public officers. How else would one view the Artur's saga?

For the uninformed, commissions of inquiry are never meant to get to the bottom of anything. The idea is to be seen to be doing something while time passes so that people forget about the thorny issue at hand. Name one commission of inquiry in Kenya that has produced results to date.

Expect many more commissions of inquiry in a second Kibaki administration and no real solid action.

iii) Dozing off during cabinet meetings. The President will be 76 next year. By the time he completes his second term he will be 81 years old. Surely, let reason prevail as you answer this question. Is this the right age to deal with the problems facing the world today, let alone the problems facing most Kenyans that need radical new ideas to tackle?

The Vice President is the President's age-mate and then there is defense minister Njenga Karume. Those who are familiar with folks this age, please answer the following question; What are the odds of this cabinet staying awake and alert through a 30 minute cabinet meeting (no cabinet meeting is that short)?

iv) More Youth Funds Special funds are usually set up to help people who can otherwise not help themselves. Refugees, widows orphans etc. When a fund is set up to help the people who should be the most active in the economy of a country, then you know that there is something very wrong. In a second Kibaki administration expect the same policies that make Kenyans refugees and less fortunate in their own country so that more youth funds will be constituted to be administered by the same politicians who are experienced in handling funds like in the Goldenberg saga and Anglo Leasing affair.

v) Meanwhile Current Crop of youth leaders are growing old By the time the next elections come in 2012, Kenyans born at independence in 1963 will be approaching 50, 5 years away from the usual retirement age of 55. Is that the right time to hand over leadership to them? Mwai Kibaki joined the cabinet when he was 28 years old. He wants to leave when he is 81. Somebody help me make sense out of this.

vi) More Anglo Leasings And More Goldenbergs The financial scandals never end. There are those Kenyans who believe that because they are being exposed, somehow they will stop. Did you hear about the recent scandal where Cabinet Minister Njenga Karume sold land that he could not previously sell to the government. This administration says there is nothing wrong and everything was above board. Expect many more deals between senior influential cabinet ministers and the government that are "transparent and above board".

vii) We Will always do things the way they were done in the 60s So you are excited about the information age and what modern technology is capable of? And maybe you see it being put to good use to improve the lot of Kenyans? Forget it. Have you tried to talk to a person over 60 years of age recently? They see things very differently, the way they have always been since the swinging 60s. But Osama Bin Laden didn't exist then and neither were automatic weapons so easy to acquire for use in a crime. A second Kibaki term will be quite similar to this first one, a field day for wazee hukumbuka buffs, disaster for the nation.

If you are reading this and you still intend to play Ostrich or believe that there is nothing wrong with a second Kibaki term, then I have only one last thing left to say to you…

Will the last person leaving Kenya remember to switch off the lights…

Chris