Mocking God: Preying on Kenya's Insecurities

We have taken spiritual matters to another level. The so-called Kenya’s National Breakfast Prayers has been turned into another annual ritual to mock God. And God will surely and promptly pay us the dues.

The cheap gimmick of hosting Kagame must be banished for what it is. It is the same hosts who are busy watering the seeds of ethnic hatred and chauvinism while shamelessly pretending to offer empty sermons against the same.

The more things change the more they remain the same. We are stuck with the same old political script abbeit executed by different faces. Kagame’s presence at the BIG BREAKFAST reminds you of Moi’s cheap shot of airing footage of Rwanda’s genocide pictures to warn Kenyans against multipartism.

In one breathe we are shedding crocodile tears appealing for God’s guidance to reclaim what we trashed ourselves and with the other we are having police annihilate Kenyans in their thousands.

And what do we do when reprimanded by one Prof Alston?

Graduated deceit
Well, we have no shame in addressing sideshows by condemning the messenger while conveniently scuttling the bloody message. So what if Prof Alston exceeded his mandate? Splitting hairs is an art perfected by scoundrels.

Trust Wako’s toxic smile to come in handy in his plastic defense of extra judicial killing during his watch. Forget about the basic tenets of conflict of interest owing to the fact that he is among the key people accused of complicity in the massacres.

Waxing plastically patriotic and mouthing all those sovereignty balderdash won’t wash. We are our own enemies and now we have even graduated with the temerity to MOCK GOD. Ole wetu.

Smiling Wako: Face and Lips of Retarded Kenya

He is the wearer of that poisonous smile. Wait a minute, his must be a case of mistaking short lips and long teeth for a permanent grin. Amos Wako is one lawyer who epitomizes everything rotten about Kenya. Perfecting typical Kenyan deception, Wako crafted an impressive CV abroad in the UN circles as a champion of human rights. Well back home, the less said about the longest serving Kenya’s AG the better.

Now Wako has granted fraudulent MPs a lifeline to wax sensitive and patriotic by refusing pay hike for so-called constitutional office bearers. The whole charade leaves you wondering whether anybody holding office unconstitutionally should not be arrested. But again this is Kenya where anything goes.

All that facade about generous pay for constitutional office holders to stop them from corruption temptation is one kite that cannot take flight no matter the intensity of the wind. Look no further, just ask one Aaron Ringera to justify his pay check besides the penchant to serially quote Shakespearean.

In seeking obscene pay rise for judicial officials, Wako has unwittingly handed the scoundrels masquerading as leaders the plastic moral torch which they have seized with glee as a convenient cover for their hitherto selfishness.

Wako is the singular face that captures everything wrong with Kenya. He waxes lyrical and legalistic all loaded with no sensitivity nor relevance to the Kenyan people. And the gatekeepers know him better in partnering with him to defraud us more drawing from his vast expertise in LEGAL FLEECING.

No enemy can be ever as devastating as him who operates from within armed with all the experience to cheat any right cause. It must be the curse of a fake smile.

Buying 2012 Elections in Advance

No, Come on Not Uhuru Again

It appears the Mars group wont give DPM Uhuru any breathing space. Just when the Finance Minister thought he had buried the Supplementary TOP UP skunk, Mwalimu Mati has jumped to his neck faulting him for sleeping on the job as the octogenarian Treasury mandarins robs Kenya.

In typical Kenyan style, Mati must be up to some grandiose political mischief. Somebody is providing the noose to Mati and he is all glee in belling the cat. Make no mistake, UK is no novice if the coordinated kicks from his trusted sidekicks are any indication.

You see the DPM is a shining star attracting every shade of political moth. His political opponents will use all nasty arsenals to frustrate him. But Jomo Junior is a true ROYAL in the right company and all such nefarious schemes can't last the course.

Jomo Junior
Morality and credibility are like virginity. You lose them once and no amount of re-invention can help you reclaim either of them. Mars group dutifully called Uhuru bluff and he arrogantly goofed with his initial defence only to kiss the blade with yesteryear’s computer error excuse.

The Mars group have already done their part and saved Kenyan taxpayers a lot. But can they strike it hot and hard again? Your guess is as good as mine, OBTUSE CONTEMPT laced in IMPUNITY oozes from every orifice of body Kenya.

It's Just Two Minutes to Midnight in Nairobi

I've read accounts of a doomsday clock in the Oval Office, Washington D.C. According to those unverified accounts, that clock is actually on the floor and can only been seen by those who are keen to detail. In Dan Brown's political thriller, Deception Point, the clock is supposed to be carefully interwoven in the fabric of the sprawling carpet that gives that office the look and feel of the most important office in the world.

But I'm not here to tell you about the Oval Office clock. What I want to tell you is that there is another doomsday clock ticking in Nairobi as we speak. Everywhere I look, I see storm clouds gathering. The minute hand of our own doomsday clock stands at just two minutes to midnight. And the seconds are ticking incessantly. Is anybody else alarmed by what we see around us?

MUSEVENI:

I can't remember another time when Uganda so bodly challenged Kenya's territorial integrity. And I can't recall a time when our President let that landlocked neighbour behave as if it was the regional superpower. How can it be that our Commander-in-chief will let the pride of Kenya be sullied in the mad this long? Don't we have generals who can stand up and tell the Commander-in-chief enough is enough? I miss Mulinge and Opande, man!

KIKWETE:

And now suddenly we have Jakaya Kikwete feeling like he can go to the United States and discuss Kenya. What the hell does that Tanzanian know about Kenya? The fact that Bush sent him here with a stern message for our leaders a year ago does not make him some maharishi on matters Kenyan. If he doesen't think it funny for our leader to discuss his nation anywehere at its midnight hour, he should desist from discussing Kenya at our midnight hour. We are and will always be lightyears ahead of TZ.

OBAMA:

Then there is Obama. The man is not coming to Kenya. I've heard many people castigate Kibaki and Odinga, folks saying that our nation is in turmoil so Obama couldn't visit. Crap. Here is what I say...if he is the kind of a guy who would only visit us because everything was okay, let him stay the hell away. Like his nation that is grappling with racism, classism and periodically the madness of the Bush type, our nation will have issues it grapples with from time to time. Does it mean when we face those issues we should be shunned?

I feel that Barack Obama, by shunning Kenya, has missed a golden opportunity to stand in the middle of Nairobi and proclaim his wishes for Kenya right in the face of Kibaki and Odinga. It would have been a powerful symbol that this son of Kogelo would come here and make it known that he is solidly for reforms. To send some dude called Johnny Carson...and an ambassador who is partly responsoble for the mess we are in makes me sick to my stomach. And may Obama be told that we will have no use for him should he come here after his presidency is over.

KENYANS:

As a nation, I feel the right response to the foreign challenges we face must be to rally around His Excellency President Mwai Kibaki and the Rt Honourable Prime Minister Raila Odinga. As fervently as I disagree with Kibaki on just about everything, when the nation is under siege on multiple fronts, we must rally solidly behind him. We must all stand ready to follow his directives whenever he feels Uganda must be taken head on, and Tanzania must be calmed down, and Obama must be told we can handle our affairs...even when the process looks chaotic sometimes.

Fellow Kenyans, we may have our family fights that sometimes manifest themselves in the form of raw tribalism and other isms, but at the end of the day we will always be Kenyans. One big family. Let's not let our family feuds weaken us to the point where dependent nations like Uganda and Tanzania begin to feel they have a leg on our throat. We must always work hard to remain the regional superpower.

So at just two minutes to midnight, let's give our President and Prime Minister the support they need to confront the nation's foreign issues. It's that kind of a time when we must stand bega kwa bega, as Phil would say, and proclaim to the world that we are Kenya...and we stand ready to move our nation forward.

Those trying to mess with us...be warned.

God bless Kenya!

Tanzania’s Last and Longest Laugh Over Kenya

Tanzania’s President Jakaya Kiwete met President Obama last Thursday. Their discussion focused on East Africa’s regional security and anti-terrorism.

So we still brag being the biggest and most developed economy in Eastern Africa? Well, that brinkmanship and bravado will soon be so hollow just as our penchant to brand primitive wealth accumulation as industry.

Look no further than Tanzania. We may be more English than them but not when it comes to values. And the world has taken notice. Forget about the balderdash of going east.

President Kikwete may have relinquished AU's chairmanship to one Leader Gaddafi in January. But he remains the new regional anchorman and he has earned his mantle. You remember Bush sent him with NO-BUSINESS-AS-USUAL and the scoundrels were left with no choice but to listen.

Wetangula must demand apology from Kikwete after the Tanzanian President discussed Kenya with Obama. For the records, Kikwete has held regional brief for Kenya more than twice in less than four years.

The global village knows our deceptive ways inside out. No amount of proxy diplomacy by Kalonzo will wash. Waxing plastically patriotic cannot fool the world about our national vices. Instead we only fool ourselves by seeking Kikwete’s indulgence just as Kalonzo did early last year when embers of the inferno were sky high.

Bastardizing democracy
Obama’s choice of Ghana as his first African destination is neither accident nor coincidence. True he may trace his roots here in Kenya, but Obama is too smart to fall for our gimmicks lest he leaves our borders reeking DECEIT by association with our plethora of vices.

It is cheap escapism to mount Mutua-like defence that we don’t need nods from outsiders. We are best known for living serial lies and in study fortress of denial.
As Dagi Kimani aptly puts it the greatest and most costly lie to yourself is the belief that your ethnic community is more hardworking and more honest than the others. If that were so, how come you as person and your community chopping heads for money?

Make no mistake, Kenya’s present gatekeepers won’t barge in their stranglehold to keep Kenyans hostage. Even the murderous social upheavals like Mungiki will not make them reflect on their selfish schemes to bleed Kenya till her last drop.

Meanwhile the hitherto derided neighbour next door is laughing all the way to the bank as the world seeks her hand in efforts to mend broken Kenya. And before we know it we will be eating from the hands all the LESS-SOPHISTICATED Tanzanians thanks to our national twin vices of DECEPTION and FRAUD.

The ultimate prize of bastardizing a people’s democracy is incalculable.