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Friday, January 30, 2009

Nakumatt Downtown Shocker: Is This What Really Happened?

Exits Were Shut By The Management When The Fire Started?

It has not been lost on this blogger that the management of Nakumatt have behaved very strangely indeed over the tragedy that saw over 40 people lose their lives in a grisly fire at their Nakumatt downtown branch.

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Kumekucha titbits: Did you know that corporate team building programmes have been known to turn around previously loss-making companies the world over?
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They have been on the defensive right from the start when in fact sympathy at the huge loss should be flowing in their direction, insurance claims not withstanding.

For starters, even as the fire was going on the supermarket management rushed a statement to the press saying that all staff and customers had been evacuated safely and insisting that there were no casualties.

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Kumekucha titbits: This is a new feature offering our readers useful titbits of information on every subject under the sun. Did you know that a whooping 60% of companies that lose their data close down within 6 months of the disaster? And that re-creating data from scratch is estimated to cost between $2,000 and $8,000 per MB? Did you also know that we have pretty competent world class data recovery experts in Kenya?
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Now eye-witnesses insist that the huge steel shutters were shut moments after the fire started. The reason was that the management wanted to stop customers leaving without paying for their purchases and also to prevent looting. Clearly they underestimated the intensity of the fire (by late yesterday thick smoke was still bellowing from the ruins of where the supermarket once stood). Moments later when it became clear that the fire was serious, the doors were jammed and could not open. If this is what really happened then it was a rather tragic error in judgement.

Interestingly news reports on how survivors escaped seem to support this claim since many jumped from the floor above when there was really no fire around the doors when the inferno started. Suggesting that that particular escape route may have been blocked.

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Kumekucha titbits: Staying in Nairobi? Well the traffic jams have gotten totally out of hand these days. So if you are catching an early morning flight the hotel you choose could be critical. For instance if you are using the Wilson airport to Masai Mara or elsewhere then The Olive Garden Hotel Nairobi in Hurligham is a good idea to avoid the City centre traffic completely.
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Open Letter To Kofi Annan

Hi Kofi,

First of all, I would like to ask for your forgiveness. I think we Kenyans have mastered the art of disturbing you in your retirement slumber much too often. But kindly sir, please realize that the following weeks are crucial to our survival as a nation of integrity; however little of which we have left. You see, we have reached the crossroads my friend. Turning left will lead us to an inconsequential special tribunal. Turning right takes us to the continuation of dilapidating impunity meted upon us by our politicians. We cannot dare turn backwards because that’s the path to sure hell. It’s clear our only redeemable option is moving forward i.e. directly to The Hague….at breakneck speed.

Now, your travels are vast and your life experiences supersede many, however, I’m sorry to say, you haven’t seen nothing yet until you have traded your space with a local mwanaichi. Only then will you understand what it means to get it in the place where the sun don’t shine. You see my friend, we are being held in bondage by a cadre of politicians armed with the power to raid our tax payer funded exchequer for the sole purpose of their own self preservation. The plight of the common man has never featured in the political agendas of these mosquitoes masquerading as MPs. I tell you buddy, if all our politicians died today and went to their designated chambers in hell, Lucifer himself will be filing for bankruptcy within a few days. Indeed, there will be an economic crisis in the underworld.

Kofi, Kenyans are tired and possibly defeated. We are immensely convinced that the vector towards Kenya’s prosperity is not pointing at Parliament Buildings; especially if it continues to house MPs who are magnificently deficient in everything that makes a good human being…..let alone the radiance of decency, integrity and legitimacy emanating from State House.

But let me update you on what they are trying to force feed us this time around. Let me give you a synopsis of the beast. Have you ever seen a congregation of drunken hyenas marching towards the lions den? Well my friend, that spectacle begins with the proposed special tribunal to try post-election violence suspects. Unfortunately for Kenyans, the lions in this case, are perpetually sky high on marijuana. Yes Kofi, it will be an all night political dance. The whole exercise is an opportunity to reward their friends with plum contracts as they boogey away the blood of the innocent lives lost in consequence of our embarrassing elections. It will be a pompous fraternity party holding court at the executive boardroom of the Laico Regency Hotel. While we have not been invited, we have seen this dance before. As we speak, there’s a stranger in the cabinet.

But you Kofi, yes you, can help us…. unless of course the Waki envelope contained a thick wad of notes of varied denominations. I think you understand where I’m going with this. Although you may have had a few hiccups here and there in your public service career, we know you as a man of impeccable propriety and decorum. It is in that consideration that we ask you to take the next available flight to the Netherlands. Please do this in solidarity with the people of Kenya.

Now we know too well that your delivery of that envelope to The Hague will not solve all our problems; but it will be the beginning to the end of impunity. After all, we are dealing with a flock of scavenging vultures who will continue stealing and causing mayhem even with a noose around their necks. Talk about the condemned to die stealing the hangman's rope. I’m sure they have sent emissaries to beg for extensions; but we ask that you refuse to listen. They will ask you what the point is in airing Kenya’s dirty linen in public for the world to see. To that I ask, what do you do when your little son messes the bed linens? Must you not put them out to dry? In Kenya, we have been housed in a dingy hut with no windows…and a lot of dirty linen. It is time for fresh air.

Kenya’s destiny must no longer be charted by a class of conmen with the least regard of our wellbeing.

Please pass my regards to your family.

Frustrated Kenyans.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Hague Beckons: 10th Parliament Springs Nasty Surprise

It is sad reading through the comments in this blog daily where well-educated Kenyans are still thinking in terms of PNU and ODM (and the gods they worship, namely Kibaki and Raila) when the vast majority of Kenyans have already moved on. More so when it looks like even most legislators have moved away from those tribal groupings as was seen yesterday in parliament. The 10th parliament sprung a stunning surprise that left many puzzled and those who understood the implications dumbfounded.

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Kumekucha titbits: This is a new feature offering our readers useful titbits of information on every subject under the sun. Did you know that a whooping 60% of companies that lose their data close down within 6 months of the disaster? And that re-creating data from scratch is estimated to cost between $2,000 and $8,000 per MB? Did you also know that we have pretty competent world class data recovery experts in Kenya?
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Despite the fact that President Kibaki spent a lot of time on Wednesday with the MPs lobbying for the bill to enact a special tribunal to try post election perpetrators locally, his efforts and those of Prime Minister Raila Odinga did not bear fruit. Interestingly MPs say that this was their way of replying to the president's "slap in their face" of re-appointing former Finance Minister Amos Kimunya to the cabinet despite the fact that issues surrounding his resignation are yet to be resolved.

In a smart move legislators used a simple technicality to block all efforts to fast-track the bill meaning that the country will miss today's deadline. Which means that the case is headed to the Hague (Read the full story here).

Of great interest are the new political re-alignments that are now emerging and more interestingly the motivation behind them. Despite being the person who moved the bill, Justice Minister Martha Karua obviously has a lot to gain if Uhuru Kenyatta is charged at the Hague and maybe convicted. It was difficult to miss the smirk on her face when Legislator Gitobu Imanyara blocked her bid to fast-track the bill through parliament. Everybody knows that Martha is a fighter and ordinarily would have at least protested. She did not even whimper.

Many other legislators who had nothing to do with the post-election troubles have a lot to gain by blocking the bill and causing all the suspects to end up at the Hague. It will obviously eliminate a lot of the competition for their grand ambitions.

I doubt whether most of the political class conecerned slept well last night. You see the game plan was to have a local tribunal and then intimidate all the witnesses from coming to give evidence (already a number of key Waki witnesses have received death threats). Now it seems that the Hague beckons for sure.

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Kumekucha titbits: Did you know that corporate team building programmes have been known to turn around previously loss-making companies the world over?
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Chief mediator Kofi Annan can of course save the situation by extending the deadline. However if he does so it will look like he is favouring the powerful political class and reducing the chances of ordinary Kenyans ever getting real justice on this rather painful issue. And to make matters worse the bill tabled in parliament had been "doctored" by some of the chief suspects themselves to favour themselves especially those who are cabinet ministers. So Mr Annan will be greatly endangering his image and reputation by lifting a finger to interefere with the natural course of justice that has already been set in motion. But lets wait and see what happens.

The other point that Kenyans should note is that their government moves at the pace of a snail (maybe slower), even when it is to save themselves. Why did it take so long to bring this bill to parliament? I mean the idea was to pass it yesterday when the deadline is today. Surely if somebody is so slow when saving themselves from a fire, how fast can you expect them to be when dealing with the problems of the country? Little wonder that Kenya is in such a mess. The whole lot PNU, ODM, Raila, Kibaki must go home NOW. We need fresh elections NOW!!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Will Tribunal Bill Hoodwink Kenyans Once Again?

There is a friend who keeps telling me that the glue keeping the grand coalition government together is called “corruption.”

There have been numerous instances to prove this statement 1000% correct. But there is something else that also makes politicians across the political divide stick together like brothers. It is "fear" and especially fear of a place called the Hague.

In a few hours time a crucial bill, and indeed the reason why parliament was recalled earlier than the traditional March, is set to be tabled in the august house. We all know that the president never leaves the cozy confines of State House unless he has a very good reason to do so. So it is very telling that yesterday he was in a special meeting with MPs to drum up support for the bill that our political class hope will help them avoid the Hague.

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Kumekucha titbits: Did you know that corporate team building programmes have been known to turn around previously loss-making companies the world over?
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However there is a small problem. Sources assure me that subtle changes have been made and some crucial Waki recommendations set aside in the final bill which was published late last night. One of them is that cabinet ministers who are named as suspects will now NOT need to step aside and will remain in office until proven guilty. For what? Well the answer is simple. So that they can continue fleecing the treasury with their corrupt deals to enable them pay the hefty legal fees and other expenses like “oiling” the right hands so that the charges and Hague goes away. It is that simple.

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Kumekucha titbits: This is a new feature offering our readers useful titbits of information on every subject under the sun. Did you know that a whooping 60% of companies that lose their data close down within 6 months of the disaster? And that re-creating data from scratch is estimated to cost between $2,000 and $8,000 per MB? Did you also know that we have pretty competent world class data recovery experts in Kenya?
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Interestingly when the president was drumming up support amongst legislators yesterday he pledged that he and Raila would drop cabinet ministers who are named as suspects of the post election violence until they are cleared. This "gentleman’s agreement" reminds me of another gentleman’s agreement which the president ignored in the run up to the last general elections. Despite widespread complaints he went ahead and picked members of the Electoral commission all by himself, including his own family lawyer for many years who ended up as Samuel Kivuitu’s deputy chair.

The president’s actions seem to confirm that indeed the piece of legislation being debated in a few hours time does not contain that important clause making it mandatory for those named to step aside. Which means that this will be left to the discretion of the president, who has promised… blah blah.

Give me a break!!!

How many promises has this president broken? Starting with his cry for zero tolerance to corruption which I personally heard him say live at a small meeting near the University of Nairobi that I attended shortly before the 2002 elections.

To be honest at this rate I don’t see how our fat cats will avoid the Hague.

MPs we are watching you. DO NOT vote for this "doctored" document.

See also:

The heated debate over ministers remaining in office until proven guilty

Attempt to shield security chief fails

How can Nakumatt Downtown burn in broad daylight? Kenyans ask as relatives say loved ones who were around the supermarket are still missing.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Woman Kenya Wanted To Forget

The Late Pamela Mboya: The happiest day of her life? But many tragedies were to follow.


TJ’s brave woman passes on


Two days ago I was dumbfounded when I received news of the death of Pamela Mboya. Pamela is of course the widow of Tom Mboya. She died in a South Africa hospital while undergoing treatment.

What made me really sad is that she has carried with her to the grave secrets that would have helped put together conclusive evidence to charge the people who murdered her husband who continue to walk scot-free enjoying their lives greatly thanks to their ill-gotten wealth.

Even sadder was Pamela’s last ditch effort in early 2008 to get the information to Kofi Annan when he was here mediating peace after the post-election violence.

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Kumekucha titbits: This is a new feature offering our readers useful titbits of information on every subject under the sun. Did you know that a whooping 60% of companies that lose their data close down within 6 months of the disaster? And that re-creating data from scratch is estimated to cost between $2,000 and $8,000 per MB? Did you also know that we have pretty competent world class data recovery experts in Kenya?
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So, is Mboya’s assassination related to the post election troubles?

You bet it is. You see in my view the culture of impunity and Muta-do? Started on July 5th 1969 (the day the two shots that ended Mboya's life rung out outside a chemist's shop on Moi Avenue). Very prominent persons in government killed Mboya and Kenyans knew that but what would they do against the mighty Kenyan government?

Barack H. Obama senior. His friends insist that his problems started after he testified at the Mboya trial.

You see after Mboya’s death, there were serious unprecedented chaos in Nairobi. So much so that during his funeral service at Holy Family Basilica in Nairobi, a visibly shaken President Kenyatta was unable to read his speech and it had to be read on his behalf by a member of the cabinet Mr Ayodo. Outside riot police battled with angry mobs. But the Kenyatta government finally overcame that crisis and that is how impunity was entrenched in Kenya. Because it was always asked; if we killed Mboya and nothing happened, what else can we not do? That question was definitely asked when JM Kariuki was murdered in 1975 and even in the Moi days when Robert Ouko was bumped off.

Today Kenyans know that despite what the US ambassador is trying to say (President Obama, please make that change quick. We can’t stand this guy!!!) Kenyans know in their knowing that the grand coalition government is the most corrupt government ever. It makes Moi and his cronies look like saints. But Kenyans Muta-do? But even before that, Mwai Kibaki rigged the presidential vote in his favour in a less than clinical way. However he is now the president. Muta-do?
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Kumekucha titbits: Did you know that corporate team building programmes have been known to turn around previously loss-making companies the world over?
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An interesting aside here is that Barack Obama Senior’s friends insist that his troubles started after he testified at the Mboya murder trial where a man called Nahashon Njenga said openly, why accuse me, what about the “Big man”? Implying that he had been sent on the hit by some “Big man”. Obama of course was airlifted to the US for studies by Mboya who sourced financing and made all the arrangements.

Indeed so was young Pamela before she got married to Tom. Pamela was on the same flight as Prof George Saitoti another beneficiary of the airlifts. She was the daughter of a close political associate of Mboya’s called Walter Odede. In the photo carried on this page taken on Pamela’s wedding day, she looks extremely happy (which bride wouldn’t, getting married to such a dashingly handsome man as Mboya whom many saw at the time as the most eligible bachelor in Kenya?) However little did she know that the years that were to follow were to be no bed of roses. Incidentally Mboya’s best man at the wedding, Charles Njonjo is a prime suspect in the assassination of Mboya along with Charles Rubia and Mbiyu Koinange (Jeff Koinange’s grand dad).

The image of Pamela that stands most prominently on my mind was from a clip taken of her arriving the Holy Family Basilica for the funeral service of her husband, dressed in the fashionable minis of the time. She broke down and collapsed right at the stairs of the church.

To her credit over the years she never re-married and saw it fit to keep the Mboya name as alive as possible. Tragedies in the family were plenty. Mboya’s brother was killed in a road accident a few years later and then her first born son Peter Mboya died in a mysterious motorcycle accident along Waiyaki way in the 90s.

Pamela was a really brave woman who went through a lot. I pray that it was NOT all in vain.

So long Pamela. And Thanks. We’ll take it from here.

It Rained In Nairobi Through The Night

Rain shouldn't be a big deal, right?

Wrong.

There's something about rain that just makes me excited. When it rains at daytime, I mean the soft, silent type, the gentle tap taps of the drops always pull me to the window to watch and marvel at the sudden freshness the waters from the sky bring down upon us. The effect of that freshness is always a renewal on a thirsty, dusty earth. But more so, it's a way of nature reminding us of the need for us to appreciate the beauty of the greenery around us, the blooming of colourful flowers and the delicate dance of succulent fruits as they sprout off the branches of guava and mango trees.

Rain.

So as I slept my night away in a Nairobi suburb, I felt sweet to be in a nation the Lord has blest with so much. We have some of the most beautiful people in the world. In fact, yesterday as I walked down Moi Avenue in the city, I took my time to admire my fellow countrymen. I watched the men in their elegant suits, the women dangling on high heels and dressed to kill, the adolescents catching matatus that promised the indulgence of the loudest Jua Cali, Wahu and some Western music, and the mamas/mothers in a hurry, anxious to get home to their children, the ones they left at home with the maids in the morning.

In moments such as these, I always stop to thank God for Kenya. Yes, we have one of the most wretched governments in the world, and yes our people are starving in the countryside, and yes our children are not in school because their teachers are fighting for better pay, and yes corruption has come back to us full-force, but look on the brighter side with me this morning. Isn't it a blessing that we could wake up to a renewed city because the heavens sent rain upon us?

As we enjoy the calm and freshness of this day, may it be our hope and prayer that our leaders can see themselves in the role of rain...so that their actions may have a renewing and refreshing effect on the people of our beloved nation.

God bless Kenya!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Open Letter To President Barack H. Obama

Also published a few minutes ago: The sins of Raila Odinga

Dear Mr President
,

Let me start by congratulating you and wishing you all the best in the herculean task you have ahead of you.

I am of course aware that you have a lot on your mind just now and the subject of this letter may look like some annoying nuisance just now, but please sir, hear me out.

There are a lot of terrible things that your predecessor George W. Bush did that will take a long time to be corrected and some may never be put right at all, even in the next 1000 years.

The subject of this letter is to draw your attention to one such mistake made right here in Kenya which is going to cause serious trouble very soon if nothing is done.

I am sure that you are aware that American policies over a long time have allowed impunity to thrive in Kenya and other third world countries and this culminated in the post-election skirmishes in December 2007. As usual the Americans took the lead in solving the problem which ironically they had played the biggest role in creating. Am sure you are already aware of what I am talking about.

Now, Mr President the poor Kenyan people who voted decisively are stuck with a coalition government that they did NOT vote for. We are stuck with an American idea created to clean up a mess which the Americans heavily contributed to. This bloated cabinet and government is a huge burden to the people especially when you add the huge salaries legislators have ordained for themselves. Not to mention the fact that this coalition government has already registered itself in the annals of our history as the most corrupt ever.

The main reason for my writing you this note is that even as you read it, dark clouds are rapidly gathering in the horizon that will culminate in such a serious blood bath in Kenya that the last skirmishes where thousands died will look like Christmas party (to quote the words of a Judge Kriegler).

The Kenyan people have been able to take a lot lying down over the years however even a cowardly dog becomes extremely dangerous when it is cornered. I am afraid that is exactly where the Kenyan people are now. And this could not have happened at a worse time because there is serious hunger and famine sweeping across the country. Add that to the deep still-unresolved-wounds of December 2007 and the aftermath and you will realize, Mr President that what we have here is a keg of gunpowder and gasoline with sparks flickering only inches away.

Your administration does NOT need an extra crisis of this magnitude in Africa and I think you can take some steps early using your good office to right some of the wrongs that have been done against the Kenyan people and in the process pre-empt what could be as big a blood bath as the Rwandan problem which co-incidentally happened the last time a democrat was in the White House.

I think you need to help Kenyans return to the polls as soon as possible maybe with a foreign or international constituted body to run the elections. The truth is that Kenyans are fed up with the current crop of leaders. One really sickening thing is that they are still thinking and planning their things along tribal lines. For example a recent cabinet re-shuffle by the president illegally in power put his Kikuyu tribesman in the powerful Finance portfolio, which his opponents have correctly interpreted to mean that he is digging in for war.

I am persuaded that after your inspiring election win against all odds, Kenyans are ready to vote out their tribal chiefs and usher in a brand new generation of leaders who will make Africa proud. I think that in planning any election, efforts must be made to register as many young people to vote as possible. Sir, the youngsters of Kenya are crazy about you and I think they are ready to do something really big here in Africa.

In writing this I know you are bold and have already demonstrated that in so many ways. So let me admit that in helping out your Kenyan brothers in this problem, I am sure your critics will be many both in America and even here in Kenya. But you will be doing the right thing. I am sure. And with a strong stable new democracy in place in Kenya, it will make your work in the region a lot easier.

Good day Mr President and thank you for your time.

Also published a few minutes ago: The sins of Raila Odinga

Why is SEO training so important?

Ever visited The Olive Garden Hotel in Nairobi?

Who is afraid of Kenyans in the diaspora?

This Is A Quagmire

We are stuck!

Tell me, what in the world happened to Prime Minister Raila Odinga? Is this the same man we thought was a democrat and voted for in droves? Is this the man the Diaspora Kenyans welcomed to cities across the globe, hailing as the man to bring needed change to Kenya? How can it now turn out that he is railing against the media, threatening to deal with "...a certain media house?" And how did it happen that his party was not in Parliament to stop the passage of a bill that was to gag the media? Incidentally, have you heard the PM or any of his brigades talk about reversing that dreadful signature the President scribbled somewhere to bring the law to life? In my opinion, all these incidents amount to this: Raila Amollo Odinga is no democrat, and neither is he a reformer. This man may well be a dangerous dictator hiding his true colors from us until we make the big mistake of electing him president.

Let us rehearse for a moment the Raila we've come to know since he became Prime Minister. He started off by trying to betray his friend and erstwhile fighter, William Ruto. It took the threat of a serious rift in the ODM for him to change his mind. Next came the issue of unga. He went out of his way to assure us that prices would immediately go down. Tell me if they have. Then came the gas/petrol mess. Apparently we should be reassured by the fact that he didn't know what was going on there, so he is clean. And the corruption that's now roiling the Kibaki-Raila administration? The two principals have found a way to deal with it: Collective responsibility. If this is not a quagmire, what is?

In fact, what should we make of Raila's son's alleged involvement in shifting of corn/maize from its intended point of delivery to Southern Sudan? And what should we make of his younger son's involvement in crashing a government BMW when the rest of us were asleep? What, I ask, should we make of the Prime Minister's increasing agitation and his wish to shut us up? Is it because he doesn't want his increasing goofs to hit the headlines? Or is this just a man who being in the government has finally exposed his true character?

We have four more years to go with this painful load we're carrying called the Coalition Government. In that time, the full character of all the key players in this Kenyan version of a Russian Roulette will be revealed. But if what we have seen in all of them, especially my brother Raila, is anything to go by, we're in deep trouble. As we have called for in this and other forums, the time to seek new leadership has come. We must be prepared to lock horns with Kibaki's man, Uhuru Kenyatta, or we will watch as Kenya goes to the dogs in the year of our Lord 2012.

And just like Mutahi Ngunyi yesterday, let me pledge my support and admiration for the teachers who are fighting for "Haki Yetu." Teach us how to deal with and defeat the insensitivity of this cartel that has its grip tightly on Kenya's throat.

We shall overcome!

Kimunya Shames Lynch Mob, Bounces Back Big

True to his vow Hon Kimunya never died and has ashamed the lynch mob. Forget what the Cockar report says about CBK Governor Prof Ndung’u and Kimunya that the two were economical with the truth in disposing off the Grand Regency Hotel to Libyans without regard to due process. Leaves you wondering why the truth should be generously served to a constipating country.

Justice Cockar and his commission their work and earned their pecks. But the commission must be ashamed of going outside their mandate in disparaging Prof. Ndung’u as dishonest and lacking in good faith, credibility and transparency. The really industrious only learn those in school and must be shun them like a plague in pursuit of prosperity.

Kenyans must learn to MOVE on and accept the fact that Kibaki only did what the law prescribed. All the talk about court of public opinion is nothing but hot air that only succeeds in warming the inner circumference of what burden your shoulders while the outer body is left freezing in acute impunity.

The Finance ministry is no child's play to be entrusted to minions. Hon Uhuru has all it takes to steer the portfolio to GREAT HEIGHTS in accomplishing the good work left unfinished by his predecessor and successor at Trade ministry. You don’t get power to please adversaries but to show might and rule. That is exactly what Kibaki as exercised. Our rogue parliament must be ignored for crying foul about Kimunya's reappointment to the cabinet.

The immoral fountain of corruption erected by Kanu leadership is receiving generous dose of water from experienced hands. The handy Asian connection only need smart Kimunya as Trade Minister and together with DPM Uhuru holding the purse strings, even MV Faina holding GOSS arms will soon be released by the pirates and Kenya will be left smiling with her fat commission.

Master stroke of genius
With Jomo Junior's able hands, Kibaki can practice his economic genius of yore that earned him a second undergraduate degree (first class honours) at the prestigious London School of Economics. Kibaki’s policy to adopt siege mentality in the face of corruption charges was a master stroke. Security in numbers is the best policy to spread wealth among cronies as the masses scavenge wild roots for dinner. Denial is best lived in safe numbers by joining yourself at the hip.

Well, history has a way of repeating itself albeit brutally to those who refuse to learn from it. Kenya is being run by gate keepers who perfected the art during Kenyatta’s sunset years as a senile president. The present government is run by safe clique of trusted and tested scoundrels who know just too well what is at stake. And we will be all the merrier with episodes of impunity mutating into all their known and unknown variants.

Kenya Nchi Yetu

It’s the desire of every normal human being to be in an environment where they can further their dreams and hopes as they go about doing their everyday business to build their lives. Be they children the very young at home or those going to school, the young adults in colleges or those starting life after school or the adults and young parents, old parents or grandparents or the older citizens. Every day is a day to improve their living conditions (or enjoy the fruits of their labour).

But when you see a people despair and reach a point where they are totally OK with all the evil going on or they are just silent doing nothing … just know that something is very wrong and they are simply at a point where they are consider “not normal”. The normal behavior of a human being to improve life at all times for the betterment of everybody around them … even when all seems pretty cool.

Of coz we can go to the details of the reasons why they despairing but that will take us no where but keep us Kenyans in the same place … experiencing the same things for decades, only that they keep getting bigger in magnitude.

The legacy of evil we see in the nation must be dealt with. As Kenyans, as normal people, it would be “not normal” to always make noise expecting noise to sort things out. What are we as the people doing to eliminate the evils? Sources of disunity must be faced and corrected by all means. Kenyans should never have room for ethnic hatred. We have experienced what hate groups can do … the hate groups that preach bigotry and prejudice. We have to use all our resources to eliminate them … to bring them down. We all know the simple rules of life. Love your neighbour as yourself, do unto others what you want done to you, work honestly for what you need, etc. Let us stop compromising these principals and standards … let us never abandon them.

Be aware of the temptations of pride, bribery, self importance, greed. These will always keep us behind. We should be accountable for each an every single thing we do. Planing for the long term as we do what we should be doing right now correctly, wholeheartedly and lovingly … and at all times upholding the marks of democracy and freedom.

We have every right to dream heroic dreams … and why not, the world is made by the dreamers. We need to dream that we can do better than before and have and keep the faith that the dream will come true. And then act and the time to act is NOW.

Let us keep the hope alive and burning … as we walk our talk. Let those that come after us say that we did what could be done to make things right ... we did what we could to make the walk easier.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Why The Grand Coallition Government Must Go NOW

Who will this silly cabinet re-shuffle help?

After the President allegedly “read the riot act” to his ministers in yesterday's cabinet meeting kumbe the man was preparing to do a cabinet re-shuffle the next day which was announced in the middle of the day today.

One would have thought that he would have followed up his dressing down of the cabinet with some subtle signs. Like moving Messrs William Ruto and Kiraitu Murungi from the Agriculture and Energy dockets and putting other people there who will facilitate proper investigations in to what exactly happened. Even the ancient minister of Education should have been moved for his pedestrian way in handling the teacher’s strike as we complete a full week with our children basking at home and increasing expenses in the house in this usually “dry” January month. Instead Emilio’s agenda seems to be quite different and it is NOT in the interests of the Kenyan people.

Uhuru Kenyatta has been appointed Finance Minister and Amos Kimunya bounces back into the cabinet as minister of Trade. Now let me ask a question. Is the ministry of finance a preserve of the house of Mumbi only? Surely!! There are two ministries in Kenya that are notorious for being the preserve of certain tribes. One is Finance (where even business is transacted in Kikuyu) and the other is the Ministry of Health’s Afya house which can easily be mistaken for a market in Ukambani courtesy of the 5 years Charity Ngilu spend in that ministry during President Kibaki’s first tenure. The nice lady could not find any other tribe to employ at the ministry just as Emilio cannot find any other tribe for the Finance docket. I hope poor Oburru Odinga, the Finance assistant minister understands kikuyu.

Analysts see this joke of a cabinet re-shuffle as part of the PNU agenda to re-position itself for life after the current coalition by having its’ point men in strategic and important ministries. As deputy prime Minister and minister of Finance, Uhuru now becomes an extremely powerful individual.

But I think all this nonsense is really beside the point. Kenyans have now said enough is enough. The coalition government must go and we go back to the polls. We CANNOT wait until 2012. Hatuwezi kuvumilia. We need new leadership in Kenya now. For better or for worse. The coalition government must go NOW. The bloated most corrupt cabinet in the history of Kenya must go NOW. We want fresh elections NOW. The details of how that will be done with no electoral commission can be worked out. But Kenyans have spoken. The coalition government MUST GO. The whole damn LOT.

STOP PRESS: Latest Steadman poll shows that only 20% Kenyans have faith in the Coalition government.

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Convenient Leakages From The Cabinet

Will even a Tana River crocodile swallow the latest move by Kibaki to hoodwink donors?


The Kenyan cabinet traditionally meets on Thursdays. Yesterday there was a well publicized meeting of the bloated 43-ministers-grand-coalition cabinet.

Now the deliberations in these meetings are confidential and what is supposed to happen is that anything that the president wants the people to know that was discussed in the meeting will usually be told to the public via a government statement of some sort.

But that is NOT what happened yesterday. Instead some cabinet minister violated the official secrets act and spilled all the beans on what was discussed at the session. Or did they?

Actually keen observers should have noticed by now that the government usually releases some “convenient leakages” of their deliberations to the media when it suits their purposes. Can you guess their media of choice for these so-called leakages? Well let me tell you and you can just go and do your own research to verify. It is always the Daily Nation.

Read the Nation story for yourself.

It seems that the government or rather the president wants us to know that he told off his ministers. Slapped their wrists, so to speak. You know when you mother is making chapatis and you cannot wait for them to be ready and you sneak your hand into the pan and cut off a piece? She slaps your wrist while laughing and lets you get away with the piece of chapati that you have stolen.

So in this case the president is slapping wrists instead of firing ministers and arraigning them in court for the criminal offences they have committed (some of which have directly led to the death of many Kenyans—like the maize scandal).

My deep suspicion is that yesterday’s "convenient leakage" was for the benefit of the donors. You see the Kenyan government is very broke. And this is the worst of times for the government to admit that with all the mega-scandals involving the cabinet that have been hitting the headlines. And yet the same government need to address the famine situation urgently and this is where donors come in. Kibaki and Raila have been doing lots of begging recently for food aid. Yesterday “leakage” was designed to show donors that the president is doing something to address the corruption in his cabinet.

Hehehehehehehehehehe. Very funny. Sorry. Not even a hungry Tana River crocodile can swallow that one.

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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Why Renneberger Must Leave Nairobi

Ambassador Renneberger disgraced himself.

Growing evidence has shown that Ambassador Renneberger was part of the colossal failure that was our elections. It is not a secret that American ambassadors are usually sent to foreign capitals to safeguard the interests of America, which include democratic ideals. The fact that Ambassador Renneberger could decide to go against what he was sent to Nairobi to do is a breach of the trust the United States government bestowed on him.

It is now clear that the ambassador was instrumental in misleading American agencies about the true picture of events in Kenya, both prior to and after the elections. It was because of him that the State Department hurriedly congratulated Kibaki when just about everybody with any common sense knew that the Othaya MP had not won the election. Indeed, according to exit polls by a Republican institute, Raila Odinga had beaten Kibaki by no less than seven percentage points. But through determined treachery, the ambassador saw to it that the polls were withheld till August last year. He asked that the poll results be sat on.

As if that were not bad enough, the ambassador followed this disgraceful act with a campaign of deceit that most Kenyans have not come to terms with todate. He was the man who made Jendayi Frasier look so confused when she came to Nairobi. He was the one who initially made Condy seem so out of the loop until she got a briefing from more credible sources than the partisan ambassador. It was this same ambassador who saw to it that the three-way structure that bundled in Kibaki-Raila-Kalonzo was put in place to calm the waters after he realized the scale of his screw up.

Whenever I meet Kenyans who praise Renneberger for saving Kenya I feel like throwing up. He didn't save Kenya. He set Kenya on fire. He made it possible for folks who'd rigged elections to find a safety valve. I can only hope that there are people with sufficient resources and the urge to find out the true role of this ambassador in the election debacle.

Until then, it is time for President Obama to ask this dude to pack up. And when he gets home, may he send our regards to George W. Bush should he pay a courtesy call on him in Dallas.

So long, Mr. Ambassador.

Kalembe Ndile's Latest Donation Could Save The Tax Payer kshs 800 Million


Former Kibwezi MP, Kalembe Ndile: Making a name for himself with his donations.

Kalembe Ndile donated a TV set to stop Kenyan so-called leaders travelling all the way to Washington to watch the Obama inauguration on close circuit TV screens. Naturally his donation was violently rejected. Now the former MP is at it again with yet another donation to save tax payers hundreds of millions of shillings.

Interviewed on a local radio station a few hours ago, Ndile expressed concern that the government would want to waste Kshs 800 million on the Prime Minister's office. The government has already purchased Kenya Shell House along Haile Selassie Avenue and plans to refurbish it ionto the prime minister's office at a cost of Kshs 800 million.

So Kalembe says he is willing to donate his small parcel of land in Mlolongo and will even go further and build an office for the Prime Minister right there.

Now you might laugh at this suggestion but surely this is one of the few Kenyan politicians thinking in the right direction. This latest generous little donation will save the Kenya a whooping Kshs 800 million which could come in very handy at this time when people are starving in many parts of the country.

Maybe even the presence of the prime minister's office at Mlolongo can help reverse the terrible reputation that this small town has. For those who don't know, Mlolongo is a sex town filled with lodgings and hotels where lots of sex goes on as Nairobians slip away (it is about 20 minutes drive from the city centre) to have mostly illicit sex with colleagues and friends.

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

President Obama’s Clear Warning To Kibaki And Raila

Even as Kenyans cheer and celebrate Obama there are folks in the country who are not quite as excited about the Obama presidency. If anything they will not sleep too well tonight.

In his speech a few hours ago, the new commander in chief in Washington, made it very clear that America will not work with leaders tainted by corruption. Indeed the fact that President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga were NOT invited to the inauguration is a clear indicator that President Obama is not pulling any punches on this one.

But what must really worry the political class tonight is the fact that no American president in history has understood Kenyan problems more. The 44th American president rode on Kenyan matatus and slept on couches in middle class estates. Not to mention the fact that he traveled to many parts of the country. Not the kind of person who will be hoodwinked on policies and decisions on Africa and mostly Kenya.

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The Bush administration in sharp contrast tended to look the other way when dealing with Nations that would help America in some way in the fight against terror. President Obama is clearly a completely different kettle of fish and so it will be fascinating to see what happens.

P.S. It is really sad that Obama senior died a very frustrated man in 1982 having given up on life. It would have been really nice for him to have lived to see today. The lesson here is that no matter how bad things are in your life, you never know what will happen a few pages later in the novel of your life.

I mean Obama Jnr is now the most powerful man in the world. President Bill Clinton in his biography talked about that man with the nukes briefcase following him all over the place at all times. That is exactly what’s happening to President Obama from this day onwards.

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Monday, January 19, 2009

Tears For Obama And The Other Guy Who Didn’t Make It


Above Tom Mboya next to President John F. Kennedy and left No 44 tomorrow.


I can’t remember the last post I wrote on this blog with tears freely streaming down my cheeks, but it has been a long time. I am a man who gets moved and the tears flow freely. That’s me. But in recent times circumstances of life have been such that I have been greatly hardened and that soft part of me has been in hibernation it seems.

So why the tears when writing this post?

The tears are for an unsung Kenyan hero 6 feet under and forgotten. A man that younger Kenyans these days try to compare to politicians of today like Raila Odinga. Something that makes me want to be sick. But that is a story for a different day.

The man I am talking about is the real inspiration behind this blog. The reason why I became interested in politics in the first place. The inspiration behind my launching Kumekucha. An ordinary man no doubt, but the greatest political son of mother Kenya who ever lived. I challenge you to study his life and see if you can contest that statement. Sorry guys, half baked ignorant tribal comments won’t wash here and I will not give them even the benefit of a glance.
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That man is the reason why the world will stand still tomorrow as a black man with Kenyan blood flowing through his veins is inaugurated in Washington.

I am of course talking about Thomas Joseph Odiambo Mboya whom most Kenyans came to know as simply Tom Mboya or TJ to his friends.

On the eve of the inauguration of one Barrack Obama, TJ must be turning in his grave and if it were possible to chuckle 6 feet under, he is no doubt doing just that. Why? Because once again it has been proven that you can kill a man but you can never kill his ideas, his good works and legacy. Gosh!!! TJ still seems to have his hand shaping major world events almost 40 years after an assassins bullet cut short his brilliant political career on the streets of Nairobi.

Tomorrow when President Barack Obama emerges from the swearing in as the 44th president of the United States, TJ will have been vindicated many times over although his killers still roam Kenya free and unafraid.

The airlifts that saw Obama senior land in the United States were the brain child of Tom Mboya (see this Wikipedia post for details).

But what is really amazing are the similarities that Obama and Mboya share. Mostly how the two men were able to make use of so little to do the unthinkable. That is how I will always remember both.

I am not one to brag, but it is of course not lost on me that it was on the pages of this very blog that the “ridiculous” idea of having an upstart like Obama in the White House was first put into words. That fact humbles me more than anything else and also inspires me to believe that nothing is impossible.

It has disgusted me that maize thieves and looters of the Kenyan economy have used the Obama slogan liberally in recent times. It has been greatly defiled…

But as I toast to the two men on my mind today I just have to say….

Yes we can.

TJ, it is not over yet. No way!!!

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Sunday, January 18, 2009

Still The White Man's Burden...What A Shame!

This makes me sick to my stomach.

Something happened in Nairobi on Friday that made me cringe with shame. I watched with dismay as our President and Prime Minister took a tongue lashing from the donors, led by Lidner and Renneberger, over the corrupt tendencies brazenly creeping up in government departments. But what stunned me more than anything was the temerity of the President to ask for aid within the same week that The Daily Nation listed six mega scandals involving the swindling of billions of shillings. Imagine what the donors must have been thinking of our leaders. And did you see the flashy cars they came in to beg? Sometimes it shames me to be led by such idiots.

About a year ago I lamented, right here on Kumekucha, the fact that we Africans have chosen to remain at a very elemental level when it comes to administering ourselves and conducting our affairs with posterity in mind. How can it be that so many years after independence we still can't feed a population of less than fifty million? What's gonna happen when we are seventy or one hundred million? How long do we intend to go down on our knees to Westerners after mismanaging our resources? To be blunt, how long will we remain the white man's burden?

I have been vociferously opposed to the constant watchman role played by the foreigners in my country. I've always seen what they do as a way of telling us that we are not equal to the task of governing ourselves. Today I have to swallow my pride and say that as long as we are led by this group of fossils, we need the donors and the foreign governments with leverage to plant a foot firmly on the neck of the Kibaki-Raila administration. These two men are leading the most corrupt government in history of Kenya.

I'm well aware of the fact that this week will be dominated by the Obama events in Washington D.C., where our corrupt government has sent Wetangula and others. It would have been nice if they had gone there to honor a man whose ideals inspire what's going on in Kenya. The shame is that everything Obama stands for, our government sneers upon. It wold have been better if Wetangula had led this delegation to the inauguration of Hugo Chavez.

The good news is that we will stop being the white man's burden by 2012. The way to do it is to elect a man of integrity, one who has mingled with white thinking and knows the psychology behind action, one who knows how to get things done, and who will make the nation's people proud to be called Kenyan again.

We can elect such a man.

We must elect him in 2012 or forever hold our...

The Price of Cheap, Tribal Political Expediency

As Obama prepares to seal history with his inauguration, Kenyan leaders are left EXPOSED for the lies they excel in selling their people and the world. We have had three presidents whose modus operandi betrays all tenets of objectivity and staying on message leave alone living to actualize the same.

Political expediency and ethnic considerations are singular ingredients defining both past and present regimes. All the accolades we throw Obama’s are typical of Kenyans’ fraudulent ways to gain acceptance and be associated with ideas they never intend to practice.

Obama’s campaign was premised on hope and all his actions so far remain true to those ideals. Mouthing platitudes in one gift we have a plenty these shored of ours. We were the most hopeful country in the world at the beginning of 2003 when Kibaki came firing on all deceptive cylinders. No sooner had ecstatic Kenyans shouted FLEECING than the true gate keepers re-invented their DNA and emerged with the hose pipes to extinguish our national dream.

The present corruption CRAZE is all traceable to that empty drive to fight the vice. In five years, the fruit of corruption has proved not only sumptuous but also irresistibly. The mad race to auction any remaining valuable within Kenyan borders must be completed within the next 48 months.

The moral high ground to fight corruption was lost ages ago when Anglo Leasing became the defining scandal. Add to acute lack of leadership from top understand why every minister is using tried and tested Asians connections to raid their dockets for any valuables.

The present spate of mega corruptions fall perfectly well in Kenya’s rotten template where acrid smell of grand fraud brewed in the seclusion of boardrooms hit our noses just after elections. The present OFFICIAL ROBBERS had the right signal when the king of impunity chose to stick to his smelly confidants after cosmetic laundering and predictable clearance by other equally gullible arms of State.

Conning God
The message was clear: CORRUPTION PAYS HANDSOMELY for the industrious Kenyan. The risk is no more than contempt for those with unfortunate DNA and the shame to distract entrepreneurs.

What do you make of a President shamelessly cheapens such basic laws as mandatory retirement age for civil servants. Security in numbers (hata wewe) remains the cheap mental justification for all these scandal as ministers outdo each other in their schemes to milk cow Kenya.

We can fool ourselves all the mush we want but nobody outside our borders will buy our crap. Our deceptive gimmick to declare Obama holiday has been exposed for what it was. All we have to show for it is the loud embarrassment gracing the faces of pretenders. It amounts to dancing yourself lame to a broken record before the real melody begins.

As creative apologists to the present regime shamelessly spread the embarrassment along, the gate keepers are busy taking over Kenya. In the meantime the national hemorrhage continues as tribal leaders open the big national veins in search of gems. It is all about character, stupid.

Only in Kenya can you find leaders scandalizing God by extending the high school salvation gimmicks to the national arena. Soon God may as well call their bluff. No amount of pretense in re-inventing the wheel will wash any of our deceptive traits.

Will The Grand Coalition Government Collapse In This Unthinkable Way?

Most political analysts are in firm agreement that the days of our grand coalition government are numbered. But a commentator in this blog asked a question yesterday; how exactly will this undesirable animal be put to sleep? In this post we will look at a crazy scenario that is being floated based on unfolding insider information.

Before I do so let me bring something of great interest (albeit boring to most) to your attention. This past week I have talked to a considerable number of people doing business in Kenya. Ranging from the big boys with factories in industrial area and executive offices in leafy suburbs like Westlands to small time entrepreneurs surviving on a hand to mouth basis. All of them told me the same thing. That the politics in Kenya has already started affecting business. Investors are very worried and are holding off and postponing the release of funds for various expansion programmes already approved. Many firms are still cutting down dramatically on their staff seeking to be lean and mean in preparation for the hard times that everybody is anticipating. The net result is that many businesses are having a hard time just now. One executive told me that already many businesses are going through serious cash flow problems. Of great concern to the business community is the future of the grand coalition government and the feeding frenzy (scandals popping up all over the place faster than hot popcorns) going on in the bloated government at the moment.

Now before you start getting discouraged and thinking of shelving your plans for this new year or even relocating away from Kenya, let me make a simple statement of fact. America created the highest number of self-made millionaires in history NOT during boom times but during the great depression. Trouble also means huge opportunities for the brave and those who can dare think out of the box. Enough on business, lets plunge back into siasa.

Something really fascinating happened this past week. Legislator Johnstone “I will pay taxes on my MPs allowances” Muthama called a press conference and proceeded to accuse Prime Minister Raila Odinga of grand corruption that has led to the current Maize crisis in the country. Obviously Muthama was a messenger who was sent by somebody to deliver a message that seems to be part of a certain strategy. One man who was backing Muthama in the background was of course Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka who is desperately trying to re-position himself ahead of 2012. So bad are things for the VP that he is not even thinking of the presidency currently all he wants desperately for now is to remain relevant in the very fluid political goings-on within PNU over the Kibaki succession.

Insiders have suggested something pretty crazy and you will need to sit down to absorb this. Muthama’s move against the PM with the backing of Kalonzo and the President’s political strategists is part of a wider scheme by PNU to bring down the grand coalition government by withdrawing from the arrangement on the grounds that their ODM partner is way too corrupt. Now everybody has been talking about ODM walking out of the coalition so this one caught me completely by surprise. But my immediate question is what would PNU have to gain from walking away?

For starters regular readers of this blog already know that new alliances are rapidly being crafted (mostly at night) and the whole idea is to get the Kalenjin community out of ODM. Former president Moi has been burning the midnight oil on this one (instead of enjoying his retirement and twilight years) and it seems that there is now finally some light at the end of tunnel for the old tired man who used to be called the professor of politics. Although there is no way he can take credit for the breakthrough. Actually all credit must be claimed but that fearsome animal called The Hague. Everybody knows that William Ruto is on the Waki list and naturally the man will do anything to avoid dire consequences for his alleged role in the post election troubles. Impeccable sources have told this blogger that Ruto is talking to Emilio Stanley, Uhuru Kenyatta and Kiraitu Murungi about a new grand alliance between the Mount Kenya axis and the Kalenjin, isolating the Prime Minister and the Luo community.

So now you have the picture. PNU withdraw out of the coalition citing the excessive corruption within it’s ODM partner. When the dust settles a new coalition government is formed that does not include ODM. That seems to be roughly the plan on the drawing boards.

If truth be told a quick count of scandals so far shows that ODM is leading PNU in this area.

Oh boy, what a country!!!

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Predictions About The Web And A Strange Animal Called SEO

Kumekucha Weekend Business Special

The Future of Business Is Online And What You Need Is SEO Training

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Some folks who read this blog get pretty upset when I venture to predict the future. Some of them go ballistic when I get out of Kenyan politics in my predictions. A case in point is what I said about a man called Barack Obama long before he had even declared his candidature for the presidency of the United States. Am not sure why they get so upset. Could it have something to d with the fact that I am usually so accurate in these predictions?

Still here is an important insight into the future of business which should be of interest to entrepreneurs and even those employed by entrepreneurs.

It is clear that the World Wide Web has already taken over the world. Everything these days is done online. And the fact that mobile phones can now easily access the web has made life very convenient for millions of inhabitants of this planet earth. It is rather obvious that use of the web will continue to grow in leaps and bounds.

What all this means is that there are also numerous opportunities for businesses to use the web to reach and serve their customers. The only problem is that with billions of websites out there how does somebody find your website? This is where search engine optimization (SEO) comes in. It is simply the art of optimizing a web site for search engines so that those looking for the services that you offer are able to find your site easily and the information they are looking for as well as the products and services.

Amazingly in the year 2005 as many as 65 million souls were using the Google search engine daily to search for information, products and services. Just imagine what the number might be now? In 3 years when usage of the web has just exploded?

And don’t forget that anybody who uses a search engine to look for a product or service is usually looking to buy right away. This is why SEO is so important in this day and age. The truth is that it has become so important that nobody with an online presence can dare afford to ignore it.

My advice is that you need to just go out there and find a way to learn as much as you can about it. One leading world SEO expert who happens to be a Kenyan (and is a consultant to this blog) told me his interesting story where he learnt SEO very reluctantly in 2005 believing that he was being bothered by his clients who insisted that the only way they would keep on channeling their business in his direction was if he learnt it and learnt it well. Naturally today he is delighted at what happened then.

My two cents is that anybody who makes the effort now will never regret it. And by the way SEO training can be very simple and does not need to be as complicated as it may sound at first.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

How Long Will The Coalition Government Last?

I have this famous friend whom I have been very lucky with when it comes to predictions on Kenya.

He usually calls me and asks me a specific question, seeking my views and gut feeling. And oh boy have I been lucky with him or what? Everything I have ever told him has worked out exactly as I have said it would. He must think I have some magical powers or something.

Despite his amazing track record, Kumekucha has denied that he is a soothsayer

A few examples.

About two days before the general elections in Dec 27th 2007, he called to tell me he was a little confused. Some quarters were telling him it was going to be a close race for the presidency whilst others were telling him it would be landslide for the ODM presidential candidate.

I told him; It is definitely not a close race. ODM have it by what looks like a landslide. My only worry is that I doubt if President Kibaki and PNU are going to concede defeat and hand over power peacefully. You can read my post on the eve of the election expressing my worries HERE. I still get goose pimples reading it today when I realize how accurate it was. l

You know what happened.

Then another day he called me and asked me about Safaricom IPO. I told him that I was sure that the shares would dramatically drop in price the minute they started trading on the Nairobi stock exchange. I pointed out what had happened to the Kenya Airways shares over 10 years earlier. This time he doubted. After all Safaricom was an excellent company and he had insider information about what those buying most of the shares were planning to do which would no doubt push prices up.

You know what ended up happening.

So now recently he asked me how long I think the grand coalition government is going to last for. He did mention that most people have predicted that it will NOT last through March this year.

So far I have not replied to that query. But today I felt I have enough information and insight to do so.

I will be surprised if the grand coalition government survives past May this year. They will hang in there beyond March because increasingly Kenyans will realize that both PNU and ODM are both the enemy and the two will increasingly have to stick together to survive. And also because politicians on both sides of the political divide need to build their war chests for the next elections. So they need to continue robbing the country blind for as long as they possibly can. The exposed scandals Kenyans are hearing about are only a tip of the iceberg.

But we shall about May, shall we not?


P.S. Salim Lone told the Daily Nation early last year while still in New York that the exclusive story on kumekucha saying that he had fled Kenya was false. Earlier this month Mr Lone appeared on the popular K24 chat show and talked about the 3 times he had been forced to flee the country. One of those times was the time he denied to Nation that he had fled.

Read the accurate story Lone denied here.

Time and again Kumekucha has been proved extremely accurate in its' stories despite tons of jeering comments that follow some of our big exclusives. Of course all credit goes to our informants who risk everything for love of country, even their lives sometimes. They are the real heroes. I am just but a messenger to be used for a better Kenya.


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Friday, January 16, 2009

State House Site Attacked And Other Tidbits

Husband and wife form committee of themselves to settle their differences

Imagine a man and his wife getting into a serious marriage-threatening disagreement. Apparently the cause of the domestic quarrel is some silly thing the husband keeps on doing while knowing only too well that it really upsets his wife.

Well it is pretty obvious that the way to sort out this problem is for husband and wife to sit down and calmly talk about the situation. Since the problem is serious, they should first decide whether they want to stay in the marriage. If the answer is YES, then they should try and find a solution (just the two of them).

Now just imagine a situation where the man decides to form a committee to look into the issue. And to make things really funny the members of that committee are his wife and himself.

That is exactly what the two principals did yesterday. President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga formed a committee to mediate coalition wrangles. And guess who is on that committee? The top pick of the main protagonists on both sides. So what is going on here?

While the Kibaki administration has rapidly became famous for forming commissions of enquiries that are destined to produce reports whose only purpose is to decorate government shelves and cabinets, the composition of this so-called committee leaves Kenyans wondering why the two sides would not just have sat down and talked.

Or is this part of the usual window dressing?

Seriously rather than waste tax payers money by taking up the valuable time of public servants, why not have Raila and Kibaki go to that Sagana State Lodge place over the weekend and have a lengthy chat over what they want to do now with their favourite play thing called Kenya?

State House Site Attacked

Apparently somebody has hacked into the State House website and is using it to distribute malicious software to visitor’s computers.

If you go to Google and search statehousekenya.go.ke, and then click on the top result, you will view a Google warning about the site.

Now this is more than a little ridiculous and raises the million shilling question, how secure are Kenyan government sites, some of which hold extremely sensitive information?

Traffic Policeman Who Are Asking For Too Much And Bushy troubles In Athi River

Our informant was traveling to Nairobi yesterday and when his public transport vehicle neared Athi River, it suddenly diverted away from the road and hurtled deep into the bush a high speed. At first he panicked, thinking that maybe they had been hijacked. However the tout quietly explained that they were avoiding a police check ahead where the traffic policemen had gone bonkers in what they were demanding in bribes. After a while they met quite a number of other public service vehicles following the same bumpy route coming from Nairobi.

But there was something even more interesting our informant observed. Deep in the bush the landscape was littered with dirty plastic paper bags as far as the eye could see into the distance. He wondered where it had all come from and even more worrying was the kind of cost that would be required to carry out a clean up exercise. Looking at all the different colored plastic paper bags, our informant says it was not difficult for him to imagine a country completely buried in the stuff, in say the next 2 years. But who cares???

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Martha, Admitting Failure Dosen't Help Anything...Stepping Aside Might

Martha says we're losing the war on corruption.

Really?

I have to wonder when she found that out. Is this her way of finally admitting that her office has failed to carry out one of its core duties of fighting corruption? I still recall that sometime last year the good lady from Gachugu called on the necessary authorities to slash the hefty pay the government was paying a man called Ringera to fight corruption. One year later Ringera is still paid the same amount...and this at a time when he has nothing to show for all that burden his salary has dumped on the Kenyan taxpayer. In fact, if a man who is supposed to fight corruption can't have the moral compass to sense that accepting a pay of 2.5 Million is in itself corrupt, then how do we expect him to stop those who share his kind of mentality?

Back to Martha. I was amused when I heard her say that we are losing the war on corruption. No. We are not losing the war. She is losing the war. And Ringera is losing the war. They are the two top officials in government charged with the responsibility to protect the taxpayer from the mammoth appetite of corrupt officials. So when Martha publicly says we have failed, I have to ask her this question: Martha, what do you expect us...the common man...to do?

It is becoming evident that Martha's attention has been diverted from her duties as the Minister for Constitutional Affairs to that of a full time candidate for president of Kenya. But if she can't stem corruption now, as a powerful minister with goodwill among many Kenyans, how will she do it when she is president? And if she can admit failure on the smaller matter of prosecuting obvious criminals, why should the nation thrust upon her bigger responsibilities?

Guys, Kenya stinks right now. A sense of hopelessness is creeping slowly on the people of the good nation. Just when we start complaining about taxes, they hit us with unga. When we complain about unga, they hit you with gas/petrol. We complain about petrol, they hit us with the media bill. And as we start grumbling about the media bill, they unleash the messes at the Kenya Tourism Board and Kenya Pipeline. Isn't this enough to make a man dizzy? And yet it took Martha this long to sense that we are losing this war?

No, Martha, this war is lost!

It would be nice if you can step aside and let a tougher woman/man take the fight to these sleazy thieves.

Can you, Martha?

Standard Bank Ghost Robbery Exposes Police Weakness

Kenya Police take a breather, looking exhausted: Outsmarted and outfoxed all the time by hardened criminals


In the early hours of yesterday morning (Kenyan time) there was a bizarre incident at the Standard Chartered Bank along Moi Avenue where a gang of robbers daringly attempted to execute a bank robbery in one of the most guarded and secure banks in East and Central Africa. (Security insiders will tell you that many of the special security measures at this Standard Chartered bank were put in place after a bank robbery in the 80s—then called the mother of all bank robberies—where thugs got away with a record amount of cash. But that is a story for another day.)

The drama that unfolded at the bank most of yesterday morning must leave Kenyans with many questions as to the ability of our police force to win the war against crime by any other means other than shooting and killing every suspect-mingled with the innocent—in sight (as has been happening for some time now.)

Apparently the robbers’ well executed plan went wrong when an alert cashier (a lady) jumped back from entering a lift that she was being pushed into by the thugs. She raised the alarm and this is what ended up frustrating the would-robbery.

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Police arrived and surrounded the bank waiting for the robbers to come out.

Now this is the point where things started going wrong for the police.

What would you do if you were stuck inside a bank surrounded by policemen with drawn guns on the ready? Take a hostage or two to shield yourself on the way out? Well that one does not work in Kenya because chances are that the police will still open fire killing the hostage and you. Yet this is what the police expected the robbers to do.

Luckily for the thugs, the police made it very easy for them. It was decided to evacuate the building so that the police can storm in and get the thugs. The robbers did not need to be rocket scientists to simply dump their weapons somewhere in the building and come out with the members of staff who were being evacuated and many analysts believe that that is exactly how they got away.

In frustration the police arrested the poor guard at the bank who had been tied up by the thugs claiming that he was an accomplice to an inside job. Nobody asked themselves why he raised the alarm when the bank robbers were still in the building. A police spokesman even said on national TV that the bank robbery was poorly planned. I don’t agree. In fact bags full of money were recovered from the building by police. That just tells you that something so small went wrong otherwise the robbers would have gotten away without firing a single shot.

This incident more than any other brings into sharp focus one of the reasons why the police have such a difficult time dealing with criminals. The truth is that they seem to be out-thought and out-foxed most of the time. Sincerely, just think about it for a moment. How can you match the wits of an Eastlands hardened criminal who has grown up in Nairobi all his life with a policeman who was recruited from El Wak and is in charge of giving orders in situations like that of yesterday?

In the new police force Kenyans should build after the current political dinosaurs go home. This issue should be given much though and under-cover operations should be stepped up dramatically if the war on crime is ever to be won. Police recruitment policies should also be reviewed so that the force can attract the right kind of people who will help them begin to outsmart the increasingly sophisticated 21st century criminal.


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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Doing Brisk Business With Carcass Kenya

Kenya’s ruling class is taking our legendary entrepreneurial skills to new levels as the Kenyan population prove to be the handiest goods of trade. You can browse the preface to this FRAUD thriller as the IDPs are turned into a lucrative cash cow by industrious minds.

But the ultimate prize goes to those with unadulterated DNA aboard MV Triton Petroleum Company destined to ECONOMIC NIRVANA. Poor ex KPL and KTB bosses! They were so mesmerized with the amount landing on their laps oblivious of the MEGA deals transacted over their heads. The energy ministry is headed by an experienced hand steeled by the Anglo Leasing fame.

Why chase shadows when the kingpin at the heart of the whole scandal has DNA traceable to State House? Creating smokescreens to buy time and mask challenges are our national pastimes. The Kenyan-like elaborate conspiracy by KPC, Triton and Ministry of Energy top officials makes laughable the so-called plastic search for Triton chief Yagnesh Devani and KPC ex-Operations Manager Peter Mecha.

If you thought the era of genocide in disguise where chalk was shamelessly sold as chlorine belonged to last millennium think again. The kings and princesses of FRAUD have the exclusive access to the national till and they will RAPE cow Kenya till the last drop of blood.

Martha Karua’s noise at the thieves will only leave her face splashed with vomit from the gluttons. Her thin-veiled political tantrums amounts to too little too late efforts redeem her face after being the public and intellectual face of the same scoundrels early last year. The Swahili saying malipo ni hapa hapa has been materialized so speedily.

Kenyans must be the most resilient and tolerant people this side of the planet. How else would you explain being led by a ZOMBIE whose modus operandi is total contempt and sickening insensitivity? Make no mistake. These vultures will circle prey Kenya secure in the knowledge that their educated tribesmen and accomplishes will rush to their defence spewing exotic village vitriol.

Our national mantra must be anchored on the premise that if carpenters live on making coffins why not expand the business to kill the living. Well, the small and average-mined Kenyans can continue complaining about scarce unga, oblivious of the truth that they can as well survive on cake which their political masters stock in plenty for their dogs.

Exotic vitriol
No amount of brinkmanship and grandstanding can purchase moral authority. Everybody is in greedily exploiting any available opportunity/position feathering their nests with the mindset of security in numbers. The boss is nude and will never dare point a finger lest he is paraded in his birthday suit.

The feeling is mutual when a president trivializes national challenges with unforgivable remarks that taunts his voters to fight if they so wish. That version of contempt manifests itself here aplenty when schooled villagers abroad deride other Kenyans' concerns as whining instead of seizing the opportunity to join the looters.

Well, the time of reckoning is nigh and no DNA will be safe from the wrath of marauding Kenyans when the shit hits the fan fuelled by food riots. The upper echelon of the shameless looters may escape but the reprieve will be temporary as proved by Mobutu’s fate. Nothing lasts forever and very soon the scoundrels will dutifully earn their collective wages of national sin against fellow Kenyans.