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Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Deadly Amnesty Debate

Who will forget that professor Kimya confrontation at the Moi Sports Centre Kasarani during a crucial Kanu delegates conference in 2002?

Then Vice president Prof George Saitoti threw a tantrum on discovering that his name was missing on the list of contestants for party chairman to take over from President Moi. And that was after spending a fortune campaigning amongst party delegates to ensure his victory. President Moi in full view of the rolling TV cameras stood up and angrily shouted; "Professor Kimya." And he had to do it several times before a still-shaking Saitoti quietly sat down in humiliation.

It was probably the most embarassing moment for current internal security minister Prof George Saitoti.

Still it must have given the Mathematics professor great satisfaction that the aftermath of that fiasco at Kasarani was a death knell on the Kanu coffin from which the oldest political party in the country has yet to recover from. In fact despite spirited ongoing efforts currently, most analysts believe that Kanu is truly dead and buried and will never come anywhere near recapturing its' old glory.

Still it is the new political realities on the ground that are of great concern to many Kenyans.

For instance Prof George Saitoti has suddenly found himself on the opposing corner of the ring with Prime Minister Raila Odinga over the issue of amnesty for post election violence perpetrators. In fact it must greatly irk the professor that anybody would want to call the hooligans and arsonists who caused such mayhem early this year, freedom fighters.

If truth be told even the Prime Minister himself has taken his current position under intense political preassure. ODM diehards will hate me for saying this, but the truth of the matter is that those who hold real power and sway within Kenya's largest political party are the ones in control and they are indeed the ones who have put Raila Odinga between a rock and a very hard place. That is the political reality. But as I have already said in previous posts, the deadliest probable outcome of this so-called amnesty debate is the very survival of the infant grand coalition government. Actually the question analysts are now busy pondering over, is what are the likely consequences of the collapse of the coalition government? I have a friend who would just shut their eyes and quickly get away just at the mere mention of that question. And with good reason.

Fellow Kenyans and friends of Kenya, I hate to bring bad news to you on a Sunday, but that is precisely the question we must all begin to address as soon as possible.

Everybody knows that the grand coalition government is a marriage of convenience that is held together too losely by factors that are already being overwhelmed by the emerging Kibaki succession war. But to have a Prime Minister and a minister incharge of internal security of the same government reading from different scripts is a sign that is impossible to miss and one that clearly tells us all that maybe divorce will come much sooner than expected.

Personally I do not want to begin to even contemplate the possible consquences and yet I must.

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That GEMA Get-Together is Not Sawa

It was with great disgust that I learned that the GEMA community 'leaders' recently got together to discuss 'our' political future. We aren't even done mourning those who died, nay, were brutally murdered during the tribally charged post-election violence, or tried the perpetrators, and these people are already at it, including (former) Church leaders?

Much as I respect people's freedom to associate with whomever they choose, I think in this context it does our country more harm than good. I long for that day when we shall be united and divided by our ideologies and opinions as Kenyans, not loyalty to our tribes. I understand it's gonna be a while before we totally divorce ourselves from our history, but my humble opinion is that tribal alliances for political mileage should be disbanded kabisa. As in illegalized. Down to making tribal chiefdoms illegal political tools. Yaani if you are a tribal chief, be one huko kijijini but do not represent your tribe politically huko mbele. The business of tribes voting as blocs stinks and should be done away with. This does not apply to GEMA pekee, as we all know. Remember the way we were mostly in agreement that there should be no special Muslim interests in a political party, or in the constitution? How about making these leaders ashamed of the tribal interests they represent? Where are the Christians that took to the streets then?

Full Disclosure: I'm still proudly Kikuyu, probably will always be. There is precious little I can do about that- just don't ask me to vote as GEMA, or Kikuyu. We are a country of 42 or so micro-nations with diverse backgrounds but we can peacefully, happily and proudly co-exist as one. It can be done people. But most certainly, not by killing all Kikuyus :-)

Disclaimer: This piece shall not be taken as proof of defection or an endorsement of 'other' politicians. My political perspective, if ever I had one, still holds.

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Thursday, May 29, 2008

Who Really Reads Kumekucha?

…and the tribe that lacks reading skills

If you are one of those chaps who believe in coincidences and believe that yours truly here is merely in love with conspiracy theories, then you will have plenty of fun reading today’s post.

A few days ago in a post here I asked where First lady Lucy Kibaki was. I also shared some information about her health that had come to my attention. The very next day she made her first public appearance for months. Mere coincidence? (By the way, it is not enough for her to be “seen” and photographed by the media, Kenyans need to be told where she was all that time and the state of her mental health. After all it is possible to remove somebody from some institution for them to pose briefly for the press and then quickly return them. We need a statement, even if it is the usual lies from Dr Mutua.)

Also Published today;

Hold off Kajwang: Power Brokers Plead With Kibaki

The Raila Factor: A Stark reminder

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Actually there are numerous other cases that I can quote here that will shock most of you. However I will mention just two more.

Weeks after the disputed presidential elections, I wrote a post here about how the electoral commission was yet to officially release the final results of how president Kibaki “won” the elections. Barely two days later those results were suddenly released and the signature of the electoral commission chairman was even forged to facilitate that process. Mere coincidence?

Then there was this cabinet meeting where this PS went and forwarded ideas lifted straight out of this blog on how best to rein in the tribal monster in Kenya and related problems facing our nation. (read the story HERE for yourself). Mere coincidence?

I do not believe in coincidences and I am certain that some very important and powerful persons in the land read this blog religiously every day. I am also certain that not everybody who reads us wishes us well. The campaigns to discredit Kumekucha have been on for a long time and the strategy has always been to use the age-old propaganda trick which is based on the premise that if you repeat some falsehood enough times, sooner or later people will start to embrace it as the truth.

But nothing has fascinated me more in recent days than the frenzied activity here since I was forced to leave the country for a safer destination. Those carrying out the “campaign” and those of you who are observant enough will be able to quickly pick out what I am talking about in the comments sections of my posts. HINT: Look for a pattern.

Why do most of our beloved Kikuyu brethren lack reading skills?

Another very sad pattern that is clearly visible to regular readers of this blog is the fact that most of our Kikuyu brothers and sisters have serious problems with their reading skills. Very few of them indeed (like Wanjiku Unlimited, Ritchie, Fave and a few others) are able to read a post and understand its’ contents.

Amazingly the rest tend to see RED the minute the word “Kikuyu” appears anywhere. They will always conclude that the post or comment is bashing the house of Mumbi. I have watched with amusement as some balanced commentators here have been dragged into long and endless arguments by readers who hardly bothered to read their comments before spewing out all sorts of vitriol. Some regular contributors here will even quickly spew counter posts wholly written in well hidden parables in what they see as a way to counter “the attack” on their beloved house of Mumbi.

I can only shake my head in wonder and offer my sincere sympathy and condolences to my dear brothers and sisters with reading challenges whenever the word “Kikuyu” is used. In fact I will not be surprised if this post is seen as an attack on my dear Kikuyu brothers and sisters. Yet the focus of this post is on the challenge of reading skills on the African continent rather than on silly tribes.

We can of course look at the whole thing from a different angle. It is probably Wanjiku Unlimited and company who do not know how to read. Maybe they are not sharp enough to see all the deadly barbs aimed at the house of Mumbi. What do you readers think? Are they the ones lacking in reading skills?

Although I am trying to add a light note here, the truth is that I grieve in my heart as I write this post because when people cannot read and cannot respond to arguments and points without getting emotional, it simply means that there is no hope of ever effectively tackling the problem at hand. The Greeks once ruled the world simply because they became the first to develop the art of debate and to take the human race away from the age old habit f settling arguments physically in some sort of high noon shoot out where the man left standing is the one who was right and the one lying in a pool of blood in the dust was “dead” wrong (hence the expression). Are you aware that there are very many people who ended up “dead” wrong when they said the earth is round rather than flat?

I declare today the day for all Kumekuchans to develop their reading/listening skills as well as their debating skills. Two qualities we badly need for a better Kenya.

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The man who can't stand women

The Raila Factor: A Stark Reminder

Story of the week:- Hold off Kajwang: Power Brokers Plead With Kibaki

Guest post by Sam Okello

The question uppermost on Kenyan's minds today is...what's happened to Raila Odinga? I've met many Kenyans during my travels who've asked me to explain what the ODM game plan is. I don't pretend to be an insider in ODM politics. Matter of fact, I'm just a humble writer. But I know something about the Hon Odinga's kind of politics because I've watched the man for years. I therefore propose that for us to understand where the Prime Minister is coming from, let's study how he has handled the most crucial public moments of his life.

1. When I first heard of Raila Odinga, I was in Form 1 at Kamagambo High School. On a Sunday morning, I was told that the Moi government had been overturned and that a certain Lt. Ochuka had acted in concert with Mr. Odinga to beat another bunch of plotters led by Sir Charles Mugane Njonjo. I was intrigued by the events. When you are a young man, such things as coups are very exciting. But to come to the point, the important thing here is to answer the Why question. Why did Raila find it necessary to kick Moi out by force? The answer is simple. Moi was literally raping Kenya. Be reminded that the man was presiding over a regime that instigated and abetted tribal clashes in the Rift Valley, killed political rivals like Dr. Ouko, looked the other way as corruption threatened the economy, and enriched his family...and the families of his cronies...beyond measure. So why did Raila do it?

2. As I became of age, I watched as the Hon Odinga transformed himself into a political machine unrivaled in Kenya politics. Matter of fact, I'm persuaded that the Langata MP is the most charismatic, most formidable politician Kenya has ever produced. JM came close. The point here is that Raila decided to become a politician to save the nation. You have to remember that during that time, the winds of democratic change were sweeping across Africa and the world. The only way to legitimately acquire power was through the ballot. So Raila did just that. If you ask me, that's a man who plays by the rules.

3. Now that I'm a grown man, I've watched Raila handle fame and fortune with dignity and humility. He's managed to build a business empire and a political following that makes his rivals go through sleepless nights. You'll recall that he led the nation to defeat the retrogressive Constitution fronted by Kibaki during the referendum. He led the nation to defeat the Uhuru Project. He led the nation to floor Kibaki at the polls. He led the nation to find peace after Kibaki stole the elections in a fashion befitting a man blessed with just a quarter of a brain. Did somebody say Kibaki was a Makerere alum? How he shames his alma mater! The point I'm making here is that Raila has always led the nation...to a better place.

4. Finally, we all watched, after the stolen elections, how Raila handled one of the most explosive situations Kenya has ever had to deal with. Love him or hate him, what you saw was a man who worried about Kenya more than he worried about himself. He chose to create peace for Kenya's children rather than create space for himself at the State House. That tells a lot about a man's core beliefs and character.

Fellow Kenyans, I've brought up the matter of the Hon Odinga because many people don't understand what the plan is for the future. What we must all understand is that we are up against the forces of doom. We're up against a cartel that has horded power and wealth since independence. They derailed our democracy in 2007, but we will not let them again. So when you see Moi scheme in the Rift Valley, just remind him that we defeated the Uhuru Project and we will defeat him again. When you see Kalonzo map a GEMA game plan, just remind the traitor that we are writing his final chapter in Kenyan politics. And when you see Kibaki's allies do everything to humiliate the Prime Minister, just remind them that we beat them before and we will do it again...at a time of our choosing.

Why am I so confident? Because I trust the Kenyan people. And I trust Raila Odinga. I know for sure that a time is coming when a different kind of politics will have to be played. But, friends, that time is not now. The wise know that you only tip your hand when the path to victory is clear. So as we go forward, let us rejoice that the youth of Central Province, led by the Mungiki leadership, have teamed up with their fellow Kenyans to create a just and humane society. A society where all Kenyan children are cared for regardless of where they come from. Can we do it? Yes we can!

So let the Hon Odinga draw his game plan. In the fullness of time, he'll tell us where we are going and how we'll get there. When that time comes, don't be caught sleeping. Let the man who has called himself the bridge to the future cross the Jordan with us, then we'll pick the fruits when we get yonder!

For love of Country.

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The man who can't stand women

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Hold off Kajwang: Power Brokers Plead With Kibaki

It is emerging that Kenya’s Ministry of State for Immigration & Registrations of Persons is earmarked for a split after ruffling sensitive feathers with deportation orders and smashing an international passport/visa printing syndicate.

The state ministry which falls under the Office of the Vice President & Minister for Home Affairs (Kalonzo Musyoka) was one of the ministries that was deeply involved in the Anglo-Leasing mega-scandal that threatened to bring down the government of President Mwai Kibaki. The same scandal resulted in John Githongo seeking political asylum in the UK while Finance Minister Daudi Mwiraria was forced to ‘step-aside’.

Following formation of the Grand Coalition Cabinet, one Hon Gerald Otieno Kajwang of ODM’s mapambano fame has found himself in charge of this ministry, well known for its corruption dens.

One of Kajwang’s first ministerial duties was to sign deportation papers for one Canobbio Pietro who claims to be a naturalized Kenyan after having lived in the country for the last 18 years. Canobbio, who Kajwang labeled an Italian fugitive, says he is a contractor with plenty of business interests in Malindi. He has since challenged the deportation in court winning a temporary reprieve allowing him to stay in Kenya up to early June.

Italians have a huge presence in Malindi and the town has been dubbed Italian Home Away From Home. Some of the Italian foreigners – who speak local languages fluently - even tried to venture into local politics during the last general election. Some have been accused of engaging in illegal businesses including child-sex tourism and hard drugs, but so far no one has been arraigned in court.

Secondly, even before the Canobbio’s case has been finalised, Kajwang’ was in the news again this week when he was reported to have declared a Mr Mohamed Sirat a prohibited immigrant, claiming that the Australian Embassy had confirmed to him that indeed Sirat was their citizen. It is not lost on political observers that Sirat is a member of the Vice President’s ODM-K party and has been challenging the election of Wajir South MP Abdirahman Ali Hassan. He is among some of the rich Somali businessmen coalescing in ODM-K and running 24 hour businesses in Eastleigh. One presidential candidate in last year's general election is on record having promised a 24 hour economy.

Biggest Scoop

Coming to the connection with Eastleigh, and in what is considered Kajwang’s biggest scoop so far, the immigration ministry busted an international passport and visa printing racket that was headquartered in Eastleigh (Nairobi) where, yet again, rich Somali businessmen are said to conduct illegal businesses including arms trade, human trafficking and modern day slavery. Western Embassies are said to have been shocked at the discovery of passport printing ring in Eastleigh right within the capital city 'without the knowledge of the NSIS'. The matter has far reaching implications because terrorist groups known to have cells in Kenya could easily have taken advantage of the Eastleigh immigration office to export terror merchants. The Al Qaida Comoran and Yemeni suspects who bombed the US Embassies in Kenya and Tanzania in 1997 were found to be travelling on Kenyan passports!

Enter Kabuga!



More recently, it was widely reported in the local and international press, that a Kenyan court had ordered the freezing of property of one of the world’s most wanted Rwandan genocide suspects, Felicien Kabuga, who is known to travel in and out of Nairobi using several aliases including some on Kenyan diplomatic passports which Kajwang is reportedly said to have already cancelled and accordingly informed Interpol. Despite a US$5million bounty on his head, Kabuga is said to have escaped capture mostly due to his connections with power brokers within the Kenyan government. The ICC had issued an international arrest warrant for Kabuga in 1999. Rwandese Justice Minister Tharcisse Karugarama said his country welcomed the court's decision but said Kenya should do more to arrest Mr Kabuga. The Kenya Police, under the Internal Security Minister George Saitoti, is the one to effect the arrest. I am not suggesting anything but both Saitoti and current President Kibaki were ex-President Moi’s vice presidents for many years including the time that the Rwandan genocide took place. Why should Kenya shelter a genocide suspect?

Kajwang Fighting Back

It is therefore coming as a great surprise to Honourable Otieno Kajwang that his ‘hard-working’ ministry has been earmarked for split with the immigration docket set to be moved back to the Home Affairs ministry headed by none other than Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka - another of ex-Presidents Moi former long serving Foreign Affairs minister, in whose time Kabuga and a host of other international fugitives like Abdulla Ocalan found safe haven in Kenya.

Sources informed this blogger that because the NARA peace accord prohibits President Kibaki from sacking or re-shuffling ministers without first obtaining consent from Prime Minister Raila Odinga, PNU/ODM-K insiders have advised the president to hive off sensitive departments from independent ODM ministers before they unearth what they called explosive dossier going back to the Moi and Kenyatta errors (no typo here).

As Kajwang discusses his tribulations with Prime Minister Raila Odinga, Kenyans will remember that portfolio balance nearly resulted into the collapse of the Annan peace talks and even when they agreed to form cabinet, ODM came out of the process seriously short-changed. It now seems like PNU/ODM-K are planning to engage in a portfolio shuffling game so as to frustrate the work of ODM in government.

It remains to be seen if Raila Odinga will allow this to happen. What is coming out however is that there are power barons in Kenya who dictate the government operations by remote control and whose connections run deep into the corridors of power.

Watch this space: The powerful individual(s) who have been uncomfortable with the stories published in Kumekucha will be soon exposed – with irrefutable proof!

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Trouble Coming In The Rift Valley Courtesy of Daniel Moi

I have never trusted Daniel arap Moi despite the fact that he was a much better president than Mwai “vote thief” Kibaki will ever be. Indeed historians are already re-writing the Moi chapter as they contrast it sharply with the chaotic blundering Kibaki “error” (and not era) which has completely lacked in any semblance of leadership.

But what really concerns me and should concern every Kenyan is the former president’s current political activities in the Rift Valley.

There is now a strong push to rebuild KANU and guess who the new party leader is? It is one Gideon Moi, the immediate former MP for Baringo Central and the former president’s favorite son.

Moi’s plan is really very simple. The idea is to get the vast majority of Kalenjins away from ODM and to rally behind one political party which in this case is KANU. It seems that the older Moi believes that he knows a thing or two about the Kalenjin that Raila Odinga and ODM may not be aware of. One of these “facts” is that the Kalenjins can change their minds in a flash. Especially if a little cash is used here and there to help a few opinion leaders see the sense. The old man is a great believer in “kirigits.” A kirigit is the cow in the herd that all other cows follow blindly and without asking too many questions.

The ultimate strategy is for the Kalenjin to form a coalition with the Mount Kenya tribes in 2012. Indeed it is not lost on the former president that it is highly unlikely that the house of Mumbi will field a presidential candidate in the next elections so soon after Mwai Kibaki. So what is most likely to happen is that the Mount Kenya tribes will be forced to rally behind a Gideon Moi presidency. Now which Kalenjin in their right mind would not want to support one of their own for the presidency?

Already the folks at ODM are feeling the heat of Daniel Moi’s frenzied activity in the Rift Valley and no man is feeling more “roasted” just now than William Ruto. It is said that he has been told in the face to organize for the freedom of post election violence suspects immediately or forget a future in politics anywhere in the Rift Valley.

So will Moi’s crazy plan work?

Actually the more pertinent question should be; will peace and the coalition hold in light of such frantic political activity of the tribal kind? The answer to that question has to be a firm NO.

Ironically the Moi plan is being packaged as a peace initiative for the Kalenjin and you will have heard leaders from the region making statements to the effect that they support the former president’s peace initiatives in the province.

This is really crazy because Moi and comoany seem to have completely ignored the raw wounds in the province that have been brought about by the post election troubles earlier this year.

In my view the most dangerous thing about the activities of the older Moi lies in the fact that the old man has lost it. Life and politics in Kenya has changed considerably and he can no longer play the game effectively. He should just go home and rest and forget the whole thing.

One big mistake Moi is making is that his plans do not factor in the coming famine and serious food shortages that the country is very likely to face. They also completely ignore the coming “class war” where ordinary folks will rise above tribal sentiments and face their real enemies. Namely those who have gotten very rich by stealing public funds and then rushing back to their communities for protection.

In fact Daniel Moi does not seem to be aware of the rapidly emerging political force in the Rift Valley that was most responsible for handing him and his team a resounding defeat in the last elections. I am talking about the relatively youthful voters who can never bite the same old baits that Moi used to rule Kenya for 24 uninterrupted years.

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Honeymoon night shock for eager widow

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Sijui nafaa kusema?

There are few things I find more repulsive than people acting like helpless victims as a means to an end. If the expectation is that the person to whom all of the helplessness is displayed will show pity and react favourably to the whims and rants of 'the victim', it's quite the opposite with me. That, and the fact that nowhere in history have I seen people-individuals, races, or tribes-develop through hate or hate by any other name. At least not in far away Germany. Or closer to home Rwanda or even SA. Or at home in Nairobi, Naivasha, Nakuru, Likoni, Eldoret and Kisumu. Sijui niseme? I'll have to see what (re)action my politician advises me to take. In the mean time, good luck to the IDPs (I for internally and internationally, including intentionally). Especially the voluntary economic refugees out there.

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Anti-Kikuyuism: As Usual Kenyans Are Avoiding The Truth

Fred was the real name of a guy we went to both primary and high school with. He was one class ahead of me and a very loud kind of chap who enjoyed jeering at others.

His Dad was Luo and his mum Kamba which gave him very good looks and impeccable diction so much so that many school girls at Kenya High, Limuru Girls and elsewhere easily went crazy over Fred. Whenever we went for school debates some of us would have problems approaching the girls when Fred would always have half a dozen cuties literally fighting over him. In fact Fred could get the girls to do anything for him. And I mean anything. Lucky guy.

Geoffrey in sharp contrast was a quiet boy who Fred mocked at every opportunity. He especially liked to talk about Geofrey’s great fear of girls. Whenever a girl would come anywhere near poor Geoffrey, he would start to sweat and he would freeze on the spot in fright. I can still hear Fred’s loud voice and his cruel jokes which were quickly followed by his extremely loud crackling laugh.

But one day something happened. Fred started with his usual jokes at the expense of Geof and something inside Geof snapped. Before we knew it Fred was on the floor receiving some heavy punches in the face from Geof. It took several of us some minutes to get the usually shy quiet boy off Fred. And by that time his pretty face was messed up badly. You see Fred was very brown and his skin did not take bruises and black eyes very well.

I can also report that that is the last time that Fred cracked any jokes at the expense of Geof. He hurriedly moved on to other “victims.”

Sadly this is exactly the situation we have in Kenya today where one community has been mocking the rest of Kenya for years. Until December 2007 there was no retaliation but what happened early this year is something even I do not like to remember.

Now the biggest problem we have is that rather than go into the root causes of why peaceful Kenyans suddenly turned into animals, we are busy preaching peace and telling people to be peaceful. In fact the government has gone one step further and is re-settling IDPs back to their farms under heavy guard and nobody is really interested in tackling the real problem. Instead everybody is obsessed with the symptoms.

Even in this blog fairly well educated Kenyans would rather use abusive language against anybody who tries to discuss this problem. You can be sure that even I will receive plenty of barbs for this post. And even more interesting is the fact that anybody who says anything against this so-called community is always branded a violent person.

I suggest that you carry out a small experiment to confirm that what I am saying is absolutely true. We have a small harmless girl called Mrembo who regularly comments in this blog. You will often come across her name mentioned as the violent type and pro-violence campaigner. But just read her comments carefully and the only thing you will notice is that she is rabidly anti-Kibaki, the vote thief of course. And that is probably the only reason why she is constantly branded violent.

So what are people saying? That any anti-Kibaki element is violent and pro-violence?

Members of the said supreme community in the country must realize that they have put themselves in a very difficult situation and must learn the lesson that my old schoolmate called Fred refused to learn despite the punishment he received from Geof and many others. And that is sooner or later, those whom we look down on and jeer will react against us and that reaction may not be very good.

You can read through this entire Kumekucha blog and nowhere will you find me advocating for violence. I am for non-violent resistance. And that is precisely why I write this blog instead of looking for guns and going to the bush. However those preaching peace must realize that the only way we can have long lasting peace in Kenya is for us to confront our problems head on. We have to deal with the root cause of all the animosity if there is to be any peace in our beautiful motherland.

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Men are the most cruel "animals"

Monday, May 26, 2008

Deepak Kamani And Post Election Violence Suspects

It is fascinating that the photograph of Anglo Leasing suspect Deepak Kamani on the police web site has been replaced in the most wanted persons section by post-election violence suspects. It illustrates perfectly how justice works in Kenya.

Kamani has the resources and the contacts in the corridors of power, nothing else matters and what that means is that he is untouchable. Kenyans can make noise until the chickens come home but nothing will happen to Mr Kamani that will cause him to go behind bars.

Contrast Kamani to post election violence suspects. These people are basically nobodies. Mostly frustrated youths who were amongst the high number of Kenyans who went berserk when the presidential election were stolen in broad daylight last December. Some of them did terrible, terrible things which cannot be excused. However just think about it for a moment and assess whose actions will at the end of the day have killed and maimed the highest number of Kenyans. My simple calculations clearly show that Kamani’s antics will have a much higher impact over a much longer period of time and will cause untold suffering to hundreds of thousands of Kenyans for many years to come.

The ideal situation would be to haul everybody to court to face the music. Starting from Mwai Kibaki (who is the chief perpetrator of post election violence because he alone made the decision to steal from Kenyans) right down to all his accomplices like the NSIS chief to Samuel Kivuitu and other ECK commissioners. If this is done, then no Kenyan will raise a finger to protect all those young men and women who did such horrible unforgivable things to their fellow human beings.

However as long as Kibaki, Kivuitu and the rest continue to enjoy the trappings of power, at the expense of the long suffering Kenyan tax payer, then there is absolutely no moral ground to remove the photograph of a crook like Kamani from the police web site and replace it with that of post election violence offenders.

But alas, you and I know that going by the justice system in Kenya thus far, the likes of Kivuitu will most likely end up being decorated with those silly now-meaningless awards like the Elder of the Burning Spear (EBS) for services rendered to the nation of Kenya (just writing it here makes me want to throw up). Sadly in sharp contrast all those "freedom fighters" who made sure that the election theft did not stand unchallenged will end up facing the hangman at the worst or rotting in Kenyan jails which is even worse.

Many people believe that the so-called amnesty debate will end up bringing down the infant grand coalition government. Personally I find it difficult to argue against such a position. This is a time when Kenyans are crying out for justice and nothing less will wash.

Where Is Lucy Kibaki?
One of the clear indicators that the Kenyan media has been compromised in its’ very important duty as a watch dog for the people is its’ continued silence over important national issues.
For instance, just like there is no way the duly elected president can disappear for months on end and Kenyans are not told what is happening, in the same way the first lady cannot just vanish from the face of the earth and everybody continues to behave as if it is normal.
While it is understandable that Lucy Kibaki is not exactly popular right across the political divide, she is still the country’s first lady. And just like your mother is still your mother even if she is a known witch, Lucy is still the first Lady whether folks like her or not.

So where is Lucy?

Fairly reliable sources have told this blogger that she is "under lock and key" at a well known hospital in Karen. On the door of the room where the first lady is are the following words in big bold letters;

Unauthorized staff strictly prohibited from entry

The same sources claim that the last that was heard of the first lady was when she had a confrontation of sorts with her son who was urging the duly elected president to "take some action, even if it is resigning" to quell the election violence that was then escalating. It is said that the word "resign" is what caused the first lady to get violent with her own son.

Now all sorts of stories have been doing the rounds including the sensational one about a shot being fired at Jimmy Kibaki. My source however assures me that there was a kitchen knife involved in some kind of scuffle and whatever happened caused the first lady’s mental state to deteriorate hence her current hibernation away from the public eye.

The government needs to tell Kenyans where Lucy Kibaki is and more importantly the state of her health.


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Desperate relatives’ "brilliant idea" to get body home for burial

Sunday, May 25, 2008

We Shall Overcome



We've heard of bloggers being castigated,hauled over the coals, threatened and even, (God forbid) killed, in countries such as China and Iran. Now this has come to our very own backyard. Oh my God!

Even then, the struggle continues and one day we shall overcome.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Kumekucha On The Run

As a boy in primary school I distinctly remember my dad driving me to school one morning with a big loaded gun on the floor of the empty front passenger seat. I was in Standard six at the time and I wondered what the problem was because I could “smell” the same tension and fear that had been in the air the year before when the then Nyandarus North MP JM Kariuki’s badly mutilated and charred remains had been discovered somewhere in Ngong Hills. That day school had closed at lunch time because everybody had expected serious trouble.

I remember wondering what the problem was this time round and making a point to read the newspapers that evening when I got home, which I did and found nothing to give me the faintest clue as to why my senior policeman dad was suddenly given to walking around armed to the teeth.

Years later the mystery was solved. He had rubbed the dreaded Kiambu mafia up the wrong way by stubbornly refusing to look the other way as smuggled coffee belonging to a member of the Kenyatta family was given police escort to Mombasa. Not even a call from the then police commissioner himself could get him to change his mind. (incidentally the commissioner’s exact words on the phone to the most principled man I know were; “I am very disappointed in you Mr ..........). I also learnt that during those frightening days my father never slept at home and would slip away to book himself into different hotels using assumed names, always armed and ready for anything.

I went through high school wondering what the hell was wrong with my dad. Why couldn’t he be like those other “cool” albeit corrupt dads who usually brought their kids to school with better-looking cars than our battered old Ford Escort and had a lot more money? After all there was no way that he could single-handedly stop all the corruption in Kenya.

My dad always said that the reason why he could not bear to accept a bribe or be corrupt was because there was no way he was going to live with it in his conscience. I often wondered what the conscience had to do with the pocket which is where one kept the fat bundle of crisp bank notes received from bribes. With the benefit of hindsight and after watching what finally became of all those corrupt colleagues of his, I now know exactly what he meant. Many of those “cool” dads are now six feet under. One of them lived his last months having to get terribly drunk just to get to sleep. Today I have great respect for that man and his principals. I am very proud to call him my dad.

This week I have found myself in exactly the same position he was in those many years ago. I have been on the run and worried sick about my personal safety. I now know precisely what he must have felt.

Mercifully I am currently in fairly safe territory (although I am not yet out of the woods kabisa) and as I write this, for the first time in days I do not have that sickening feeling at the pit of my stomach.

For the last 18 months I have been writing this blog from within the borders of our beautiful country. It has its advantages. Like the fact that I can mix with ordinary Kenyans at the grassroots and get their views. Or organize the poll that showed in the run up to the elections last year that ODM’s Raila Odinga would win 6 provinces out of the 8. Most of all it is easy to get a “feel” of exactly what is happening within the country. Now circumstances which I cannot give details of here (but have published a few more fascinating facts in my raw notes this week) have forced me to hurriedly leave.

It is rather fitting that on my last night in Nairobi two things happened. Firstly I had a long talk with my dad that happened purely by accident and without any prior arrangements. Secondly the headline on one of the leading dailies that day showed just how much things have NEVER changed since that day so long ago when I was being driven to school with a loaded gun in the car. In fact they have gotten incredasingly worse.

Let me start with the headline. Apparently a man called Deepak Kamani who had been on the police’s “most wanted” list has suddenly and mysteriously been cleared of all charges and suspicions. I will not say anymore about this man who featured prominently on the Kroll report and is one of the main names behind the mammoth Anglo Leasing scum. It is said that he is the same man who paid President Kibaki’s hospital bill in London shortly after that near fatal accident of 2002.

During my long talk with my dad, it occurred to me how we still do not agree about many issues (like he was sure that Hilary Clinton was going to easily secure the democratic nomination for the presidency and he also voted Kibaki in the last elections). Then on the other hand there are other things we are in total agreement about. Like the current political mood in the country the coming unprecedented famine and what is most likely to happen in the months to come. Folks we are seated on a time bomb that is about to explode big time. More on that in the days to come.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those wonderful people who have in one way or the other helped me and assisted me in any way small or big during this very difficult and trying time. Ahsante sana. Especially that close friend who has repeatedly gone out of their way to be of such great help, quite often sparing no expense.

Now, if you are reading this and you often get a feeling of being overwhelmed by corruption and injustices in Kenya, take heart. I am sure you feel like a flickering candle in the wind, but always remember that the flame will never be quenched until that day when it will be strong enough to burn down the entire forest called “corruption and injustices in Kenya.”

My dad survived because his conscience was clear and he knew he had done the right thing. For the same reason, Kumekucha too will survive.

P.S. Have you noticed how after the 2007 general elections the wrong people are on the run while the crooks are being cleared to come back to Kenya to rape some more? I am not talking about myself but about the long list of Kenyans who have had to leave the country suddenly. For instance do you guys know where Ted Josiah is and why he is there? Yep I am talking about that music producer guy.

Cheering Shameful Leadership from the Rear

Wentangula's goofs over violence in South Africa and AU mediator Adeneji were apt examples of poor leadership and disastrous diplomacy. He can choose the cheap Kenyan politician escape of denial and claiming to have been misquoted BUT CAMERAS DON'T LIE. But then this Kenya were DECEPTION and living in serial self denial are revered virtues.

Just like lies you have to use fraud and deception to prop up fraudulent leadership. As a nation we have taken deception to new levels. We shamelessly rush to rally behind our GOOFING and FRAUDULENT tribesmen at the slightest criticism even when caught red handed napping on the job. Reasoning by DISPLACEMENT is our forte during such missions. We readily sanitize their ROTTING leadership using cheap comparison with their political rivals. That is why 5 years of Kibaki's misrule and rape is less ruinous compared to Moi's 24.

True leadership is measured by the amount of conviction and effort a leader puts forward to confront a challenge and not how many years you compare yourself with an IMBECILE. Deflection from the truth never makes the TRUTH change its colour nor shade. Wetangula's diplomatic goof is symptomatic of the present leadership INCOMPETENCE. Remove Annan and Adeneji (his successor) and there would be no country called Kenya to talk about in the first place. Well, haters of the truth will jump to cheap justification with buzzwords like LETS MOVE ON. And there lies DECEPTION and FRAUD extraordinary - bandaging the cancer and wishing it away. We must be our own worst enemies.

Led by the tail
We must call our scoundrels bluff. Until we discard TRIBAL lenses and look truth in face and squarely face to its demands we are unwittingly fooling ourselves that HEALING and PROSPERITY can be built without hard choices. We must replace DECEPTION with the useful HONESTY. There are no two ways about this. There has never been and it won't be. Faint hearts never won any battle leave alone war. Opting for cheap and quick fixes is our national bane. Indulge and soothe your TRIBAL ego if you must but you are only fooling yourself in expecting miracles out of the indulgence. Our present leaders are a disgrace at best and a disaster at worst. Bring them on.

Friday, May 23, 2008

This Stupid thing called XENOPHOBIA!!



This is the picture of an African Immigrant in South Africa being burned alive as South Africa Police watch and have a GOOD time! Look at the policeman at the centre (isn't that a smile?)
God save our continent...
Ritch Invites You

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Manchester Hoyeeee!



Ritch Invites You

By-Elections; ODM in Focus

Even as ODM holds its parliamentary group meeting at the Safari Park Hotel this morning, this blogger is informed that ODM is facing a daunting task in assuring its supporters that the party remains united and will emerge victorious following today's party nominations for the by elections.

There have been rumours of shadow-boxing in ODM and supporters fear that PNU and KANU have indeed infiltrated the ODM ranks including up to the Prime Minister's office. The anxiety peaked when ODM announced it had disbanded the National Elections Board previously headed by Justice (rtd) Richard Otieno Kwach and replaced it with a new team headed by former Rangwe MP Philip Okundi. No explanations have been forthcoming from the party why the Kwach team has had to be disposed.

Today, the public is singularly focused on ODM with all the mainstream media currently broadcasting regular updates on the on-going ODM nominations and the party's PG meeting.

As in the 2007 general elections, the ODM is once again showing political parties in Kenya why and how to conduct primaries in electing representatives to face opponents in the main elections.

Considering PNU, NARC-K, FORD-K, KADDU, etc have all intimated that they will be fielding independent candidates for these elections, it is strange that for the last one week, newspapers, TV and radio stations are only reporting on the ODM nomination exercise as it is the only political party in Kenya and its nominee will be the automatic MP.

For undisclosed reasons and not surprisingly, the ODM-K is not fielding even a single candidate in the by-elections and will instead support those of the PNU. Whereas Raila's ODM is in cabinet by right, Kalonzo's ODM-K owes cabinet positions to PNU and it is avoiding antagonistic actions that might be misinterpreted by its senior partner as a challenge to authority. Whichever way one looks at it, ODM-K MPs in cabinet are at the mercy of PNU - whatever the political subject in question! One would have expected a decision as to whether or not to field candidates to be made at a party National Delegates Congress, and certainly not at some backyard office in Nairobi as ODM-K is doing.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Exporting Deception, Lessons From Football

First congratulations to all drunk and sober souls still savouring last night's victory and glory in Moscow. Still here waiting to DETOXIFY before the visa waiver expires. THERE IS ONE UNITED and WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS.

With that double gloat off my chect, what can we learn as Kenyans from the beautiful game? One no shortcuts. You cannot afford to win a trophy via top up. But most important NO IMPUNITY and fair play is enforced to the letter. Those traits leaves you with a sour taste when you think of ELECTION THEFT. If one Samuel Kivuitu would have been a referee worth his name and beyond reproach Kenya would be the much better devoid of IDPs and the 1500 souls still alive. But then you cannot polish Lucifer in any angelic gab. or can you?

Now we have Kenyans running for their dear lives down in South Africa. Reason? Hostile local environment left no option of making it at home. And while abroad these Kenyans are overtly or covertly exporting our national pastime of DECEPTION hence the resentment. Very soon Southern Sudan will be the next xenophobic hot spot. Kenyan business people are used to SHORTCUTS to riches and the Sudanese are not taking it lightly.

Deception no industry
We are a country led by pretenders whose forte is DECEPTION which they defend with selective application of law. As a result Kenyans export ILLEGAL practices that readily boil to tensions outside our borders. As a nation are unwittingly caging ourselves into an exclusive home of scoundrels disguised as INDUSTRIOUS. This is no ethnic bashing by any means but a reality check. While locally those who raise their voices in opposing these vices are derided as DOMO, elsewhere the consequences are so grave so much so that the victims are often exterminated altogether.

Charity begins at home and you don't need to be a Nobel Economic laureate to see the local economic gloating for its true cheapness. While a section of Kenya brag of hosting more than 90% of Kenyan millionaires, their backyard is littered with abject poverty. The murderous Mungiki is an apt consequence of this HELL-FOR-LEATHER mentality. Simpy put we are in a hole and must stop digging. But again money rules our lives and preaching to the converted is a harlequin task. We can try though.

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What A Pervert!

How Safe Is Our Money In The Banks?

It seems banks are not the revered places that we once thought. Just a week after writing about a friend who suffered an infiltrated account under an indigenous bank, today the daily nation money magazine is reporting the case Mr. Walubengo who had chillingly similar woes but this time with a local subsidiary of a heavily capitalized international bank which they say was among last year’s aggressive lenders.

Mr. Walumbengo and his wife Alice first lost Kshs.32,000/-in 1996 when they were transferring their money from the Nyeri to Nairobi branch. The money seems to have disappeared in transit with the Nyeri branch insisting that they had transferred it while the Nairobi branch of the same bank denied receipt of the same. They traveled extensively to Nairobi trying to trace their cash but gave up in frustration as the bank kept passing the buck between the branches. They decided to let go of the money.

February this year the couple noticed some curious ATM withdrawals from their statements. Another Kshs.32,000/- had disappeared from their accounts between December, 2007 and January, 2008. Some of the withdrawals were made at midnight in locations where they didn’t even know the bank has ATMs. Incidentally the withdrawals were made in branches where the ATMs have no security apparatus like CCTV. The bank insisted that the withdrawals were made using Mrs. Walubengo’s card and heaped blame on her for letting someone else access it. But according to her nobody else except her husband knew her PIN number. They were simply asked to retrace their steps while the bank too carried out their investigations.

But the bank was not done with the couple yet. Even after reporting the case, another Kshs.4,000/- disappeared and they decided to freeze the account. Two weeks later they were hit with another weird withdrawal of Kshs.31,000/- in cash advances even when for over 10 years they had never used a credit card to withdraw cash. They closed the account in frustration. But after the credit card saga, an account that the couple keeps with the same bank for heavy medical expenses was infiltrated and they lost a further Kshs.43,000/-. The bank is still investigating that too.

An employee of the bank admitted that there are numerous card fraud cases and many are still being investigated.

This story is adopted from the Daily Nation Money Magazine.

See also: Is your money safe in the bank?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Kenyans Attacked In SA !! KIBAKI IS TO BLAME

Kibaki must be held accountable for the attacks meted out on Kenyans in SA. He is 100% to blame.

We all know that these attacks on foreigners are mainly aimed at the millions of unskilled Zimbabwean workers surviving at the bottom ranks of South African society. These are the people who are stealing jobs that would otherwise go to South Africans of the same poverty status and skill level. Kenyan businessmen and professionals are just being caught up in the crossfire. There would be no problem if Zimbabwean workers stopped flooding South African low skill job sites.

I have been told that practically millions of Zimbabweans were eagerly anticipating the opportunity to return to their country had Mugabe accepted the election loss. Jamaas had packed their housewares while bus and train tickets to Zimbabwe were sold out. A few confident chaps had even resigned from their low paying jobs in the gold mines. It was all systems go, until Mugabe graduated from Kibaki's university.

Here is where Kibaki comes in. You see, Mugabe chose to steal the elections, Kibaki-style, under the strict guidance and advise from Kibaki himself. The postal workers have reported that Kibaki's congratulatory letter to Mugabe was on the way to Zimbabwe, five days prior to their election date.

The point is, without the election thieving example of Kibaki, Mugabe would have been very afraid to attempt such a travesty against the Zimbabwean people. Kibaki's determination not to be forcefully retired by the votes of Kenyan citizens encouraged and gave much confidence to Mugabe. To this day, Mugabe beams with immeasurable pride when he views the Doctoral Degree in Election Engineering awarded to him by Professor and Dean of Fraudulent Election Studies; Hon Kibaki.

Right now, Mugabe should be holed up in his palace carefully studying the latest catalog of Zimbabwean jails...with instructions to choose one. In turn, the millions of Zimbabwean workers in SA would be on their way back to their country thereby easing the competition for low skill jobs in SA. With the availability of 'their' jobs, South Africans would not see the need to hound foreigners out of their country. There would be no feelings of hate towards foreigners. It follows therefore that without the violence, Kenyans would be safe and doing brisk business as usual. Lakini, because of Kibaki, Kenyans in SA are in grave danger.

There you go folks. Those are the real ramifications of Kibaki's activities. The trickle down effect of his thievery is sure to affect Kenyans all over. The way I see it, Kibaki should stop advising other African presidents to do like he did. He should at the very least be mindful of Kenyans living in foreign lands. Fellas, every time incumbent presidents copycat Kibaki, Kenyans in those countries are bound to suffer.

Kibaki must shut down the University of Election Thievery…..esp. the statehouse road campus.

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Ladies Beware of Perverts!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

ODM Exporting Violence to SA

Following violence in South Africa targeting African immigrants, IDPs is acquiring new meaning for INTERNATIONALLY DISPLACED PEOPLE. Already more than 3000 Kenyans have fallen victims of the orgy of violence in Johannesburg and Pretoria. ODM's detractors will readily jump into snide conclusion that the party has successfully exported its brand of violence to demand EQUITY.

The scenarios may be very different but the common thread between the SA violence and our local version following stolen elections is SENSE of INEQUITY and domination. Call it whatever you fancy but every geographical local on this planet has its ANCESTRAL and IMMIGRANT owners. No amount of selective application of the law can effectively address such feelings.

SA may be excused for they may be considered still smarting from apartheid and white domination. But there lies a potent lesson on how to harness peaceful coexistence among a people. I pray the violence gets contained and our fellow Kenyans continue with their daily lives out there. Their home country is a flame already and the imagination of coming back is just too grim.

PS: Less than 20 hours to Moscow glory and counting. Poor brother Drogba. The guy is marvelous but unfortunately he is playing for the runners up. THERE IS ONLY ONE UNITED.

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Guy Abandons His Family And Marries First Cousin

Raila, Mboya And How History Always Repeats Itself

David Goldsworthy never met Tom Mboya and yet the Australian political scientist penned a classic work on the brilliant politician; Tom Mboya: The Man Kenya wanted to forget that is an absolute must-read for anybody who wants to understand Kenyan politics.

In that fascinating read (now sadly out of print) Goldsworthy notes the most serious mistake the otherwise brilliant Tom Mboya made. In fact it was the mistake that cost him his life. The Kiambu mafia used Mboya to deal with what was the most serious threat to the Kenyatta presidency—the Luo threat through the then community leader Jaramogi Oginga Odinga. Mboya saw Jaramogi as nothing more than a tribal chief. Jaramogi saw Mboya as a young upstart who though he was too smart. There was absolutely no love lost between the two. This was probably one of the reasons why Mboya used his brilliance to finish off Jaramogi politically in the most ruthless manner. That was Mboya’s big mistake because as Goldsworthy notes, when the job was done and Jaramogi was safely out of the way, this in fact paved way for the assassination of Mboya. He had finished his assignment and was the only threat remaining in the horizon for the Kiambu mafia who were at the time already accumulating wealth like Kenya was about to shut down.

In other words, in politics it is not a good thing to finish off your enemy completely because as long as they exist there is work for you and therefore your long term survival is guaranteed.

Fascinatingly the son of Mboya’s arch enemy is in that exact position now that Mboya was in 1969. Raila Odinga as Prime Minister is rapidly proving that old adage that it is what you make of the office that determines exactly the kind of power one wields. But one of the assignments that the Prime Minister has found increasingly placed on his laps is that of sorting out the mess in the Rift Valley. His close supporters are enraged that Agwambo should end up being asked to clean up the mess that was in fact caused by the decision to steal the presidency from him. But then that is life. Raila is the Prime Minister of Kenya and he has to deal with the most serious problem facing Kenya today.

Already retired president Moi is busy building up dissent against Raila within ODM and the high noon of Raila versus the Kalenjin is rapidly approaching (see my latest raw notes for details). I am of course aware of the statement that Raila made yesterday which caused a lot of panic in the PNU camp, asking for the release of those arrested in connection to post election violence. That does not change the fact that we have a showdown looming very soon.

Raila will want to re-read Goldsworthy’s book, assuming that he has already read it at least once. He should then note that the Kalenjin community even in the days to come as they rise against him, are very important for his long time survival. I have no doubt on my mind as to who the winner will be in such a contest and neither should anybody who understands the current political situation in the country. Hate him or like him, but the fact is that Raila has outsmarted many and will continue to do so for many days to come. But Raila must be careful to appreciate the largest community in the Rift Valley, even as his political enemies. And in the contest to come must make sure that whatever he does, and whatever the government that is part of does, the Kalenjin should not be defeated completely.

His political partners at PNU are already eager that the “Kalenjin threat” is dealt with once and for all and have already assigned huge sums of money to the project and have made all sorts of promises which I discuss in great detail my raw notes this week.

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Couple's midnight row over strange sms

Monday, May 19, 2008

Kibaki Succession and Politics of Miracles

Last weekend’s endorsement of Kalonzo as Kibaki’s heir presumptive by Gema may have been the soothing lyrics of a political hymn Brother Steve needed to complete his journey of MIRACLES. If only politics was not an earthly pursuit whose dividends are often directly proportional to your previous calculative investments. But again miracles happen and you need a very big heart full of patients to benefit from such goodies.

Kibaki succession is here with a deafening bang. Forget about all the denials that are nothing but true symptoms of a people whose middle name spells DECEPTION and all its derivatives. Kalonzo will have floods of accolades assaulting his ears in the interim when politically expedient. One only prays and hopes that God-fearing Steve listens to his inner little voice. True to the Jews adage he is a handy sacrificial goat who can be lavishly fattened oblivious of the ultimate slaughter house.

Kibaki and incumbency are the principal threads holding Gema together. Cast your eyes back to Ford Asili-DP days and see the plastic union for what it truly is. The players may be different but the HELL-FOR-LEATHER script remains as solid as before. Only self-deception oiled by blind quest to DOMINATE others at whatever cost blindness can prevent any Kenyan from seeing the impeding tower of Babel following Kibaki’s exit. Well, nobody ever suffered constipation from overindulgence in self-denial.

Loyal marionette
Look around you and what do you see? Yes, you read that OLD and empty Bantu-Nilote divide here on Kumekucha. And why not? You can as well resort to the old and tested gimmicks of deceptively cajoling others to bend over so that you can have their backs for you eternal ride. Moreover you can even butcher lower primary civics if it can help advance your course. Trust average minds to shamelessly peddle falsehood in rewriting basic history. The unpleasant truth is that such cheap epithets have the unfortunate tendency to bounce on you face with devastating consequences. But again souls devoid of any element of shame will gleefully swim in the same murk oblivious of the stench aand embarrassment.

Just like a boy marvels at a toy believing the contraption is a real nascar, Kalonzo is better advised to fully message his political ego with the endorsements that are made with the singular purpose of not being honoured. The rich calculative history DECEPTION and INSINCERITY is not about to be wiped just yet. Scoundrels will make you smell honey but make sure you don’t lay your hand on the jar. In the long run their objective is superlatively served with you as the willing marionette.

Welcome to political deception extraordinaire made in Kenya for Kenyans. In our shores THEFT is nothing but alternative possession, DECEPTION is reversed industry quest for fairness and equity is envy or laziness exhibited as parroting (DOMO). Speak of immaculately protecting a vice with a golden fence.

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Sunday, May 18, 2008

Folly of Legislating Peace and Tribalism

The National Ethnic and Race Relations Commission Bill is the brand new political gimmick to legislate against SUFFOCATING NEGATIVE ETHNICITY. Well, the charade that is Kenyan politics never ceases to amaze. Our political landscape is replete with marvellous ideas that are manufactured with the principal purpose of never implementing them. Our political leadership is so SHAMELESS so much so that it has no qualms starting a fire only to turn around and cry wolf. Falling for quick unsustainable fixes is our forte and self-deception the national mantra.

While the internally displaced are being carted to their own devices in the expansive Rift Valley, Kenya’s political leadership is busy fashioning motions meant to create impression of a solution. The process is watered by selective quotation and application of the law for political expediency. All the tough talk only succeed in messaging bloated egos of the political scoundrels. And why not when they are secure in the knowledge that their loyalists sing along albeit oblivious of the impending cliff ahead.

We are a country busy chasing her own tail. Stop gap measures forms the nucleus of all our efforts to combating any challenge. If we are not forming commissions to investigate other commissions, we are manufacturing security committees to duplicate the police force. Political expediency seems to run through any decision made by our leaders. Beholden to regional and ethnic interests, these leaders have to look over their shoulders before making up their mind on any decision regardless of its weight and impact on the Kenyan nation.

Legislating commonsense
It is foolhardy to inflict pain unto yourself and cry for mercy from elsewhere.
It is foolhardy to inflict pain unto yourself and cry for mercy from elsewhere.
Kenya and her present leaders have perfected the game of hollow semantics. While making efforts is commendable towards finding a lasting solution to any malady, we only fool ourselves with tokenism and half measures disguised as objective blueprints. We need no research to uproot the entrenched negative ethnicity as conceived by Kenyatta, delivered by Moi and weaned to the present monster by Kibaki.

Our sorry face for politicians can indulge all they wish in soothing their egos but only hard and HONEST decisions can rehabilitate us out of the present state of national comatose. No amount of pretence that dutifully addresses the symptoms of our national ailment that conveniently leaves the cause to fester to cancerous proportions will wash. It is high time we stopped cheating ourselves that you can LEGISLATE PEACE, never you can't. Peace can only be CULTIVATED in an environment where every Kenyan feels valued, a sense of belonging and respected.

HONESTY and SELFLESSNESS are irreplaceable pillars in pursuit of lasting PEACE and national COHESION. The corollary is to continue with our national pastime of DECEPTION and doublespeak in the religious footsteps of our esteemed top TRIBAL CLERICS. And at that rate our MPs will next time embark on legislating commonsense.

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Saturday, May 17, 2008

What Are The Political Fireworks Really All About?

The big question keen analysts of Kenyan politics are asking themselves this week is a simple one but complex to answer. That is, is the PM against the formation of a grand opposition or is he secretly for it?

Our own Phil of Kumekucha said here last week that secretly Raila supports the formation of the grand coalition as a way to keep his PNU opponents in check. Indeed the statement the Prime Minister gave a few hours ago in Western Kenya seems to suggest that if indeed the PM was against the formation of an opposition then he has softened his stand. Raila told journalists that he had no problem with back-benchers forming an opposition only that they would have to form a new political party and seek fresh mandate since it was not feasible for an MP in the ruling coalition to at the same time be in the opposition.

The reason why this question of the PM's stand is so important is because if it is indeed true that Raila is strongly against the formation of an opposition, the the only other conclusion we can make is that there is a serious rebellion brewing within the ranks of ODM which could threaten the existence of the shaky coalition government. Not that PNU is doing any better.

Then there is the question of the Kibaki succession which is clearly shaping up to be some very serious business that will make the Moi succession seem like kid's play.

Yours truly is very busy digesting unfolding events countrywide and will be back here before the weekend is out to give you a more substantial post of what is really going on.

Rumours persist that Mike Tyson will fight again very soon and guess who his opponent is?

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

Interesting Goings-on In ODM

Yesterday an anonymous reader asked: “………Phil, I posed some questions to you and Chris, but you ignored me. Anyway, now Ruto is throwing the spanner in the works. Phil, what is going on in ODM????”

Well, well….here is an interesting piece from the The People on Sunday. It has so far not been denied by ODM Secretary General Anyang Nyongo, neither has the ODM Spokesman Salim Lone said anything. I do not want to be the one to speculate, but since we know powerful people within ODM (and PNU) read this blog religiously, there you are.

Isahakia Sabotaging Raila: The Man Odm Wants Out

Recent media reports (The People On Sunday May 4, 2008) about a fierce war by officers at the Premier’s office barely scratch the bottom of what is really at stake for Raila Odinga and ODM.

The man drawing discontent in the Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) is Dr. Mohammed Isahakia, erstwhile head of the ODM Presidential Campaign Secretariat, former director of National Museums of Kenya and former Permanent Secretary (PS) whom Moi sacked severally under controversial circumstances and now the re-invented boss at the critical PM’s office.

He is the only PS in the history of civil service re-appointed to public office while still facing misuse of office allegations in court in addition to being past retirement age. He is such a persona that his support base (Muslims) and party (ODM) fraternity do not want him near any decision–making but the Prime Minister is weighed down with him.

He is also the “enemy within” that party bigwigs and strategists tag for spirited sabotage manoeuvres of the ODM electioneering campaigns, misuse of campaign funds, fiasco in cabinet portfolio balance in power-sharing negotiations and short-changing in public service appointments, but who has been planted on the PM as his closest minder.

Recent reports of infighting within the PM’s office and disquiet within ODM hierarchy is but a tip of the iceberg as the PM faces credibility questions from his own party. Members of the Pentagon, cabinet ministers and large pools of professional support groups cite lack of integrity by officers in his office. Prime Minister Raila Odinga is indeed in danger of squandering an image build over the years as a man after real change in governance.

Premier’s Office in Disarray

The recent squabble might seem to be between Dr. Isahakia and Raila’s close political aide, the Secretary of Administration at the PM’s office, Mr. Caroli Omondi; but the gulf runs much deeper. On the PM’s instruction, Mr. Omondi wrote to the Justice Aaron Ringera-headed KACC asking for a brief on the controversially alleged handover of Grand Regency Hotel by Kamlesh Patni, of the Goldenberg infamy. Mr. Omondi, a lawyer and ODM liaison officer at the on-going Serena Mediation talks signed off as the “Chief of Staff” for the PM.

Apparently upset that Raila had overlooked him in “protocol”, Dr. Isahakia is said to have appealed to newfound confidante - the Head of Civil Service Mr. Francis Muthaura - to put the record straight on the pecking order at the PM’s office. Motivating Isahakia was the desire to spite the PM amidst suspicion that the PM is already overwhelmed by appeals to cut him loose. In an offhand rude putdown to Raila and Omondi, Muthaura - in the now-famous insolent manner he has come to treat the PM - did not let his buddy down; he was least bothered with courtesies and official channels.

He contemptuously let fly through the media his disdain for Raila; Muthaura was categorical that no one will bother with a reply since government structures had no “chief of staff” and only Dr. Isahakia could author such requests. This is despite the letter downright stating that “I have been directed by the Rt. Hon. Prime Minister…” Insubordination is the strategy to Muthaura has chosen to let the PM know his place.

The relationship between Muthaura and Dr. Isahakia is intriguing and a source of great anxiety within ODM. In the heat of disagreements over portfolio balance, the two were used as point’s men by President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila respectively in heated correspondence, when one-on-one meetings failed. Dr. Isahakia was the errand boy for ODM on “portfolio balance” in meetings with Muthaura for PNU. It through these engagements that the two developed a conspiratorial working rapport.

The Saboteur

Back to ODM portfolio balance negotiations, a red flag was first raised when media leaks begun to portray ODM as constantly conceding on its “irreducible minimum” in portfolio balance. Sources say that “coincidences were too many” when approved “portfolio balance” presentations to PNU were concisely substituted with new ones once in the hands of Isahakia.

“It was baffling. For instance, the strategists would work on a document and fine tune it for presentation. But between Isahakia’s offices for the PM’s approval, the document would acquire different proposals. Of course the PM would assume that the changes were by the strategy team as it had been presented to him!” said a distraught official. He cited the leak that portrayed ODM ceding Foreign Affairs, Internal Security and Finance to PNU even before any discussion was held as a fake document that was traced back to an Isahakia sidekick at Pentagon House.

It was determined that Isahakia had been “turned” in espionage to ensure a favourable deal for PNU because he was “too compromised” by his past. In his mole role, Isahakia was/has strategically been placed to feed Raila with misinformation. Henceforth Isahakia would not meet alone with Muthaura. He would be shadowed by Mr. Caroli Omondi, Dalmas Otieno and Amukowa Anagwe.

However, Isahakia would pull a first one; he recruited Dalmas Otieno and Amukowa Anagwe into his confidence. At Sagana where ‘portfolio balance’ was agreed only Isahakia and Muthaura and the two principals were present. It is noteworthy that not even the highest decision-making organ – Pentagon - at ODM was aware of Sagana. Subsequently Isahakia would evade ‘his tails’ in meetings with his new-found villain Muthaura to fine tune the agreement and finalise appointments to cabinet and civil service that has became the source of fury in ODM.

“It is uncanny how Isahakia connived to meet alone with Muthaura and agree on PS allotments and then tell a tall story as already plotted by them to the PM”, said an ODM MP.

Plot to Fix Raila’s Reputation

In a much Isahakia’s positioning is a source of ire, diehard supporters of the PM fear that it is an insidious long-term PNU plot to politically fix Raila. To begin with among the presidential candidates, it only the Raila Odinga who presented himself as “Mr. Clean” and on behalf ODM promised to fight corruption. In the campaigns, Raila would scold opponents as representing “business as usual” in reference to their alleged corrupt backgrounds in public perception.

“It comes as shocking and alarming to supporters that the PM has within his office people with stained and dubious reputations”, said a professional from Nyanza.

Supporters are worried that apart from Isahakia himself, the latter in complicity with Muthaura is busy recruiting into PM’s office wheeler dealer Tony Gachoka as a Senior Assistant Secretary for protocol and a Major Idris who left the armed forces procurement department under a dubious cloud as a Deputy Secretary. This is being done without following laid down procedures indicating the length head of public service, Muthuara is prepared to prop up his friend and go to have PNU-friendly insiders around the PM.

Most of PM’s close confidants are lost for words that their interventions to have the PM cut loose Dr. Isahakia have hit a brick wall. Dr. Isahakia continues to call the shots even as he continues, according to ODM insiders, “to mislead the PM into PNU traps at every corner”. It is in this light that Raila is said to be quietly shifting political responsibilities to Mr. Omondi prompting Isahakia to wage insurgency in cohorts with Muthaura.

“We sincerely do not know where the Captain got this man and why”, said an irate ODM Pentagon member when asked about Isahakia’s recruitment as campaign head adding he found the PS “lazy, manipulative and inopportune”. “He confessed to me that he knew nothing about managing campaigns and proved it”, he said.

“I can tell you the man is incapable of writing a simple memo”, said a former minister whose sentiments were supported by a member of ODM strategy team who had to re-draft “juvenile” memos from Isahakia.

“We don’t know this man’

However, insiders told us that Dr. Isahakia as the ODM Presidential Campaign Secretariat head was part of the deal in the contentious and debilitating “Muslim MOU” authored by NAMLEF, the Muslims lobby group that was at the centre of the debate during that 2007 campaigns. In the course of the campaigns, however, it transpired Dr. Isahakia abandoned the Muslim agenda and became a material broker for vested interests in the party nominations, especially Muslim parliamentary constituencies. Furthermore, the source claimed, campaign funds released to the area never reached the intended beneficiaries. They cite a case of Ksh.1m meant for a coordinator who only received Ksh200, 000 from Dr. Isahakia.

“He is responsible for the fiasco that saw us loose ground in North Eastern to PNU as he substituted strategic parliamentary candidates with his cronies in the area for some consideration. Somehow, most of his recommended candidates lost to PNU”, said a party strategist from the region who sought anonymity.

As if these were not enough, the Muslim community feels short-changed in the recent PS appointment by ODM which led to a delegation that asked the PM to fire his PS. Sources in NAMLEF say that Dr. Isahakia colluded with PNU to ensure that names for ODM Muslim appointees to PS positions, like the those from other regions, were replaced by PNU appointees.

Players in the on-going saga who fear that there is a larger PNU plot to isolate the PM from his support bases point out that PNU is already using its manipulation of PS appointments to its advantage in ODM support areas. “I can tell you that other than one Secretary, none of those PSs with Muslim names are ODM supporters”, said an NAMLEF official.

The story is the same everywhere; Kanu is busy taunting ODM in Rift Valley since all PS appointees are its supporters to the chagrin of ODM Kalenjin professionals. In Western, ODM was even upstaged by ODM-K and Ford-Kenya where they got one PS each to none for ODM! In addition, Kibaki retained his previous appointees.

More recently, there are unconfirmed reports circulating among Muslims that ODM cabinet and PS positions were “bought” for as much as Ksh30 million and Ksh20, 000 respectively.

‘Dirty Hands’

The insinuation of dirtied hands at the PM’s office goes back to the campaigns. The issue of misappropriation of campaign funds is not new. At the height of the campaigns, the media cited conflict of interest in the award of tenders at Orange House, the party headquarters. To date, the party secretariat has not accounted for the millions that aspirants on the ODM ticket paid as nominations fees.

What did not attract media attention; however, were the goings-on at the Presidential Campaign Secretariat headquarters then based at Dr. Isahakia’s private office at Titan House near Yahya Centre. Information now sipping out reveals that despite public perception that ODM was a well-funded machine; the presidential campaign had to operate from hand-to-mouth most of December as cartels at the secretariat under Dr. Isahakia’s command siphoned off millions in procurement deals that nearly derailed the campaign.

“You had the ‘Isahakia boys’ inflate transport, publicity and security procurements while major needs were left bleeding for want of money. Their trick was to ensure that the logistics for members of Pentagon campaigns teams were well executed to blindside them from seeing the sabotage from within”, we were told by a regional coordinator from Rift Valley.

He said Isahakia dillydallied with the roll-out for recruitment and training programmes for presidential agents in an act that many saw as sabotage. At the intervention of the strategy team, this task was personally delegated to Mr. Omondi by the presidential candidate. It is no wonder campaign tuff wars have been extended to the PM’s office.

Fraudulent deals

Another case darkens the clouds over Isahakia are revelations about an internal opinion poll that cost Ksh6 million. A member of the media team based at Raila’s private offices at Raila Odinga Centre (ROC) House in the Upper Hill area of Nairobi revealed that Isahakia recruited a former Kanu insider and PS Dr. Jeremiah Ngeno and made him “head of technical services”.

Dr. Ngeno was meant to be answerable to the high powered strategy team based at Rainbow House in Kawangware but never shared any information with it, choosing instead to chain himself at Isahakia’s Titan office. It turned out that Dr. Ngeno never carried out any field work for the opinion poll. Instead, our source said, the couple (Isahakia and Dr. Ngeno) teamed up with Dr. Simbili current PS Planning ministry at the PM’s office, and used rehashed data from the national sampling agency from the ministry.

The strategy team that used to advice on itinerary was shut out when it demanded to see the protocol for the poll, samples of questionnaires and tabulations. After evading the team’s demands Dr. Ngeno would secretly present “polling results” to the ODM candidate which was used to map out his campaign itinerary in the final days of the campaign. This ensured that the campaign was diverted into investing resources and time in useless trips to regions that had little added value. The heightened poll results showed PNU winning and thus panicked ODM into frantic campaigns.

Too late it would be discovered that in fact Dr. Isahakia, Dr. Ngeno and Dr. Sambili actually used poll results earlier commissioned by PNU through the Ministry of Planning under Dr. Sambili’s direction to mislead the ODM campaign. All this time, just like it would happen during the post-election negotiations with Isahakia, that time the candidate would be presented with a fait accompli that Dr. Ngeno was an emissary of the strategy team.

“Sack this man’

“At one time, people just got fed-up and told the Captain to fire Isahakia if he expected a win”, said a volunteer who worked at Rainbow House in the ODM strategy team.

“However, to our dismay almost all senior staff at the secretariat were fired except Isahakia”, the volunteer said addicting that the PS’s management style by deception and double-dealing has served him well, and that “you do not get into a dog-fight with Isahakia and win”.

Today, Dr. Sambili having been retained as PS Ministry of Planning in the Premier’s Office is working closely with Dr. Ngeno on harmonising party manifestoes for the Grand Coalition Government.

A minister whom Isahakia have worked under in the public service says that “yeye ni mutu wa kukupotosha” (he misleads you) and then pretends to be the one solving the problem.

“Isahakia uses bad-mouthing to the boss as a potent weapon. He has succeeded in isolating the PM from his trusted teams”, said a former PS now an ODM MP referring to the dismissal of long-serving Raila aides during the campaign ostensibly due to financial misappropriation. It is said Isahakia has mastered the art of passing the buck to his subordinates. He would set people up by goading them into a deal and then rush to “report”.

In this way Isahakia is said to have managed to get rid of former Raila PA Dave Arunga, and Head of Campaign Finance and ODM party secretary general Tony Chege. This was after he had instigated fallout between Raila’s personal assistant Serah Elderkin on one hand and Raila’s daughter Rosemary Akinyi who was the deputy to Director of Communications Kibisu-Kabatesi on the other. The latter two had questioned the opaque use of publicity money.

The bad blood between Isahakia and the strategy team, many whose names were dropped from PS appointments must be seen in this context. To completely obliterate the team’s central role in advising the Premier, Isahakia is lobbying that it be deployed to the party as departmental directors. Indeed, a source confirms that there is a plot to close Pentagon House, which is an important symbol for ODM.

Indeed, the PM is now surrounded by gatekeepers who are Isahakia cohorts. Information indicates that Isahakia is currently up in arms against a new structure in the PM’s office that donors have agreed to support. That the recent snide accusations that foreigners are “babysitting” the PM by PNU are part of his counter attack strategy so as not to lose influence on the PM.

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