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Friday, April 04, 2008

One Minister for Each Tribe

The bloated cabinet has left people gloating and screaming depending on which side of the political divide you subscribe to. Hitherto pro-establishment are donning fake objective lenses in screaming 40 is larger than 44. That is brand hypocrisy made in Kenya for Kenyans.

But behind the ungodly numbers may lie a political silver lining. Kenyan being the ethnically divided country it is reputed to be, why not have each of the 40 ministers from each tribe? Kibaki and Raila representing their respective tribes would complete the equation and make a happy cabinet of 42. That stroke of political genius would message every ethnic ego and Kenya would be left less tensed. But again such a proposal would leave the political vultures livid with rage. They want the whole carcass for themselves.

The obscene number of cabinet ministers has been sanitized as the ultimate price we had to pay for national healing. But with gaping cracks threatening every thread of the fabric already, ours will truly be two governments in one joyfully pulling in extreme opposite directions. The assistant ministers from opposing parties will never be allowed any breathing space by their respective bosses.

The die is cast and both political pests will clink to carcass Kenya drawing as much blood as their bellies can accommodate before the host drops dead in another 5 years to be resuscitated by a fresh group of scoundrels. Oil and water will serially seize each other in search of balance and supremacy.

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23 comments:

Anonymous said...

taabu

when you say like someone else suggested earlier that the 40 ministers have one from each of the 42 tribes

two questions
a) which two tribes are to be left out

b) pnu is to have 20 tribes and ODM 20 tribes, please explain where pnu will get the remaining tribes from (Kibaki, Kalonzo already taken.) and what if ODM take a tribe like maasai and kalenjin or who has priority of choosing a certain tribe first?

i say this because although its mild banter, some may take it seriously and further compound an already idiotic situation.

Anonymous said...

You people can go ahead and complain.

The truth is that Kibaki is the hardest stone head out there and anyone negotiating with him must be ready to compromise.

You all know him; he stole the election in broad daylight and went ahead to swear himself at night without batting an eyelid.

luke said...

Mwalimu, tell me what is the difference between bloated and EXPANDED to fit purpose?which BALLON have you ever seen rise up high in sky without alot of hot air blown into it?this allows easy movement, a round shape and appealing quality to little children
Kenyans are like little children...when there is no cabinet everyone cries...when there is a cabinet everyone cries-now what exactly do you want?
If by an ACT OF GOD JKIA airport under the ministry of immigration had an open day and decided to give out free airline tickets to any destination anywhere in the world you would think the whole country would be EMPTY judging by the way some of us are acting
Please...jivunia kuwa mkenya like you were doing last year!Taabu i want to see you wearing pink shirts from now on!please, play a round of golf or two, and do yourself a favour buy IPOs from now on-wachana na mambo ya PIE IN THE SKY dreams of ati 3rd liberation-3rd liberation kitu gani?so we are corrupt?so what? personally me i don't bribe and i never intend to-live and let live!so we have 40 ministers-wote wamekula mbuzi ya nani?
lakini lazima wakule mbuzi wote ama-what with 2 wives, countless kids and even more countless indirect dependents-
Kenya is not Botswana-we need 40 ministers even more-na kazi iendelee...meanwhile me i am enjoying the DAYDREAM-we are indeed now a truly MIDDLE INCOME nation fully vision 2030 compliant-able to employ almost 20% of the national assembly and still manage to break even with 6% GDP-najivunia mimi

Anonymous said...

KNUT Secretary General Francis Ng'ang'a:

"Even in the past with a smaller cabinet, we have witnessed MASSIVE LOOTING. Therefore, this is not an issue of size."

(Daily Nation of 5/4/08)

I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.

Anonymous said...

Anon @3:03 said:

KNUT Secretary General Francis Ng'ang'a:

"Even in the past with a smaller cabinet, we have witnessed MASSIVE LOOTING. Therefore, this is not an issue of size."

(Daily Nation of 5/4/08)

I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.

_____

WRONG!!

Bloated Cabinet = Overt looting (What it will cost the taxpayer) + Covert looting (old style looting)

Anonymous said...

Anon@3:03,

How far do you think a mosquito (Kenyan taxpayer) can carry an elephant (Kibaki's cabinet)?

Anonymous said...

kibaki ni mtu an pumbaza ajabu

here is the chronology of groups that have been pumbazwad and their current status

referendum No - Pumbavu yote
ECK - pumbavu
voters - pumbavu
churches na leaders wa church - pumbavu
polisi - pumbavu, no respect there ata juniors sasa dont care chain of command
majeshi used to be tukufu, shujaa etc - pumbavu
KNEC - pumbavu
MPs - pumbavu
ODM - pumbavu
PNU - pumbavu
IPO investors - soon to be pumbavu
IDPs - dont know yet

Kenyans kwa jumla - pumbavu zaidi x 2 , those in support of and those against.

and yes, we are all looking everywhere else for the problem and solution of bad air (deodorant, sanitizers, open windows, fans, etc) na mwenye kunyamba nyamba ovyo, hatumguzi at kidogo.

Anonymous said...

Assume the cabinet is one orange and instead of diving it 34 or 24 times like odm and civil service wanted respectively , it is now divide 40 times remember it is the same orange now each minister will have to work with a leaner budget.Their are many ways a minister can cut costs these are just but a few , lay off idlers, minimize numbr of vehicles, manage use of govt property,streamline procurement (there is no way a bic pen should cost 500sh a piece).

Anonymous said...

anon

thats the business world. in gava its expanding the net for mischief as junior officers are suddenly promoted and can now plot mischief without having to part with kitu for mkubwa, and mkubwas no longer have to worry about immediate sub-ordinates and assistants snooping around. and just try to reduce the budget of one ministry and see what happens.

Anonymous said...

Anon be positive ,some ministries were too big to provide sufficient service , even businesses split in the intrest of profits ie post office and telecommunication, havent we seen some improved service in these former white elephants.

Anonymous said...

anon 5:41

i.e majimbo aka devolution on a national scale

Proud Kikuyu Woman said...

Abass, my post has grown old so I'll answer your question here:
None of the above. You can't easily put me in a box like that.

I'm not Riala Odininga, who can switch political parties and opinions 20 times in 10 years and have his every move remake the history of Kenya in the name of liberation. No, none of my politically correct moves has shaken the stock market yet (lol Safcon IPO anyone), so what does it matter.

Anonymous said...

And what exactly is wrong with changing one's mind?

Anonymous said...

pkw

you already put yourself in a box entitled

proud (that comes b4 a fall but we will not let you fall) kikuyu (box originating from central province) woman (aaahhh eeehhh gender bias)

Anonymous said...

after all the outcry from the public on bloated cabinet

expect kibaki to wiggle out of a balanced portfolio and "siding with the people"

by naming and 30 man cabinet of 20 PNU and 10 ODM

a snake will always be a snake

Anonymous said...

or maybe 34, he will stick to his plans made before the election, muta do?

Anonymous said...

Only the middle class and the NGO types are complaining about the size of the cabinet. The wananchi see it as a chance for one of their sons or daughters to fly the flag. That is why even the Mass Akson loudmouths are quiet. Wait until the ministries are distributed and hear cries of injustice from every clan and sub-clan which will be left out. Have you heard of the North-South RV tussle already? And the pregnant silence of Njuri Ncheke? You wait! We want equity and justice now. Forget about your taxes; the "muzungu" international community will fund our equity and justice ministries.
And those worried about opposition should listen to these words of experience and wisdom from a guy in Kisumu on KTN: "Opposition kitu gani? Have you ever eaten opposition? You eat government!"
With that a say bravo to Kibaki and Raila for beginning to solve one of our historical injustices; they have devolved power from 34 ministers to 40+ ministers. So, let us carry this devolution down to the sub-chief level and abolish inequity and injustice and deception, once and for all!!

Anonymous said...

CHARLES.NAIROBI.
Let them announce the BLOATED CABINET tomorrow from there will see how CAPABLE OR INCAPABLE things get!
Of course what Kenyans would like is effective service delivery.
Like said earlier some of these POLITICALLY CORRECT GOONS inherited LAND the SIZE of a small country somewhere...the godfathers looted and BOUGHT WHOLE STREETS and CRUISE SHIPS IN SWISS AND UK.
WHEN WILL KENYANS EVER FEEL EQUAL IN THIS NATION??????
ODM offers us that HOPE...we have PLAYED OUR CARDS RIGHT now its our CHANCE to GET ON THAT PITCH and prove to 30 MILLION that ITS NOT JUST ALL TALK!
We are waiting for 2moro THEN THE SHOWDOWN AT UHURU PARK!

Anonymous said...

Tinga will and must get out of this mess as fast as possible. This mischief is coming from Central Prov. A corrupt folk without any sense of humanity. Only Cash...in mind.

Anonymous said...

Taabu what if each tribe start demanding for the steak? What will be the way forward......There is no ogiek MP, illchamus so where are we going to get them to reward them with cabinet positions?

Wacheni tusongee mbele...I repeat those who are calling for mass action....We will not join you this time round we want to see how far you can throw your stones without the mnjaruo.....Tunangoja

Ivy

Proud Kikuyu Woman said...

Ivy, lol! "....We will not join you this time round we want to see how far you can throw your stones without the mnjaruo.....Tunangoja "
Has there ever been any? (read mass stereotyping) Tutangoja kweli.

Anonymous said...

PKW i thought it was only the luos who knew how to throw stones.....Or now it has changed?

Did people say ODMERS were stine throwers domos tu...Or what has changed?

Anonymous said...

And when they said ODMERS they forget that some of us me included...Are too far from being luos? Enyewe wonders never cease!!!

Ivy

P.s...You mean you have a politer word for ODMERS domo

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