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Sunday, March 09, 2008

ODM, PNU Boys Alone In A Room With 10 Ravishing Virgins

…but some na├»ve Kenyans are still screaming; “we trust you guys”

I’m really sorry guys to spring up a post like this one you are about to read on you on a Sunday of all days, but I really can’t help it. I am one of those guys who hate bad news on a Sunday. Let it wait with everything else until Monday, I always say.

But duty calls and so here goes.

Ravishing Virgins, but we trust "the wolves" alone with them in a room

For days now many analysts have been worried sick about the political situation in Kenya. I am talking about analysts who are realists and understand human nature and the fact that hardliners don’t just disappear into thin air. In fact when they become suddenly so quiet, trust me that is the time to really get worried, sick.

Actually on the outside, everything looks quite okay. In fact almost too good to be true.

The mystery was solved for me by one of our writers in Kumekucha called Phil. I have cross checked the earth-shaking information he posted in a comment here on Saturday with some of my most impeccable sources and I can now confidently confirm to Kumekcuha readers that what he says is true. And that is, Hon Raila Odinga and Mwai Kibaki have struck a “secret” deal. The kind of deal that will make the pair stick closer to each other than super glue. That deal was good for peace in Kenya and we are all very grateful that it happened when it did.

The deal is that Mwai Kibaki will name Raila Odinga his heir when he exits from the presidency in the next 2 years or so...

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Anonymous said...

If kumekucha is indeed allowing to write such bullshit on here then I guess with all the prayers and posts we have been saying here lately- you both need help!!

does Raila look like Uhuru???to be a pet project for the likes of Kibaki??

Raila ni Ndume (a man of men) he will never ever be anyones pet project!so as usual with your PNU propaganda here trying to be little Raila ha!!ha!!ati a deal and then he becomes a pet project!!

Listen Raila was voted in by the people of Kenya and if stood for elections now he would win again!!!he doesn't need any GOD FATHER- SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU POST HERE AS THE MAIN THREAD ON KUMEKUCHA - DON'T INCITE OR CAUSE TROUBLE ON HERE!!



Steve said...

Kumekucha, the allure of this blog is that it is constantly pushing the envelope. IMO opinion it's too early to say how enduring new alliances will be but in the absence of an official opposition, blogs of this nature will be critical in keeping the citizenry informed of power abuses. However, I am not sure I like the virgin analogy - it's too patriarchal and stereotypical, but it certainly makes the point.

Anonymous said...

chris you are such a party pooper!!...we haven't even finished celebrating our peace deal properly and you are already attacking raila my friend!!

i am sincerely waiting to see raila sell his soul to that mp for othaya and the mount kenya mafia...are you serious raila is 'kibaki's project?' we need serious evidence for this one before anyone raises a single finger at agwambo!!

i dont eyes do not allow me to see raila as a betrayer!! yaani he spent all those days in detention in his fight for democracy so that he can screw himself with one deal....sorry chris it makes no sense!!

then again maybe my naivete is preventing me from seeing raila as a bad guy, maybe as you say raila is just another wolf in sheepskin like all those other politicians.....but aiii......hapana....agwambo? are you sure?!!!

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 7:06


I voted for Raila and wud do the same 2moro, but let us get away from worshiping a human being.

The guy is human and I agree with Kumekucha that this grand coalition is bound to be very corrupt with nobody to look over their shoulder.

I hope some ODM guys don't start showing PNU colors here, now that Chris has suggested that ODM might be corrupt.

Reading the comments to this post is going to be very interesting and I have already subscribed to receive all comments to this post via email.

Patriot Damu

Anonymous said...

Steve said...

As usual steve is here to boot lick everything you write here- so how should I label Steve?? a boot licker with no brains of his own?? no intelligence and hangs on every thing you post here praising you even when you write shitty insulting posts lke this one!!

So let Steve be your pet project and leave it at that!!don't abuse a leader that has enough intelligence to share around than your 71 year old thieving kibaki!!it won't wash - I'm not sure why you listened to Martha Karua then pretend that sources on ground!!! by the way are you in Kenya??

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon @ 7:06


Actually I get sensitive when Kumekucha starts pushing PNU agenda's here!!
it was a respectable blog but I guess once he hit I million he feels he has a right to insulting people now!! but!!!!blogs die out when people feel you don't have respect!!

I repeat- Kumekucha should apologize to this insult to Raila if he is a real man!!! or else i guess I will take it he is just another PNU arrogant fool!!

Anonymous said...

Opps!! the other kumekuch's boot licker has arrived- please keep on humoring him!by checking the previous threads you are doing very well!!

you are a good pet project for him:)

mrembowaodm said...

Anonymous said...

anon 7.52...i love your sense of humour!!

me 'kumekucha's pet project?' that is funny!!that would never happen!!

if you read my post well you would know i was disagreeing with the guy!!

chris said...

I have removed the offending remark.

Now please re-read the post and tell me what I shud apologize for. I will be more than happy to do so. I am not a proud man.

As long as you make sense.


Anonymous said...


Chris you ought to give Kenyans more credit.

We are well aware that the current coalition govt. is the beginning of a process and not the end.

We may not get everything we want in the next 5 years and YES, we know our leaders are human beings.


Anonymous said...

Chris, you disapoint me. You have seemed rather intelligent and prescient thus far

If you think for one minute that Kenyans are resting on their laurels then you have totally misread the situation.

We are only just arming ourselves (in a civic sense)and getting ready to push reforms.

We will not be distracted by corruption scandals (yes, we know there will be some) and political shennigans.

Anonymous said...


that may be or not be true. its a little presumptious and speculative, but we have seen that there is a significant proportion of information turn out to be true while others have fizzled out.

my take, is that any deal done in private will be overtaken by events in the visible public domain rendering any such deal irrelevant. Starting with the infamous 2002 MOU, to the recent power brokering pre-election 2007, all these behind the scenes chess games have been overtaken by the activities that are more visible to the kenyan public. all these renewed scramble for posts attests to that.

Even Mois project Uhuru never went anywhere.

I think this forum does a lot and has achieved a lot for Kenyans, the most logical way forward would be to define and amplify politicial leadership, public service delivery and state/govt operations as we would like and start hammering leaders to align with that and therefore those boardroom deals will be less appealing

Anonymous said...

Chris you have totally misread the mood and aspirations of Kenyans.

We know Kibaki and Raila are human but they are the hands we have been dealt and we will continue to remain vigilant until all the major constitutional and land reforms are in place.

If there is anything you could learn at all from the events of the past few months; it is that leaders do not operate in a vacuum.

60% of parliament is new and Kenyans refused to lay down and permit the rape of democracy in Dec.

Come on Chris! Give Kenyans some credit.

Anonymous said...

Ok this is the part? Kamukuchi
give Raila some credit and let him do his work like he promised his voters?? Like I said I chatted with some of his people on ground and they said you have always had a way of writing FAIRLY but this time you were way off?? when one is making a move even in business?? do you show the hand that you are going to deal?? just because you are not shouting or screaming does that make "read that you are not intelligent enough to see through things?? Secret deals?? sounds like PNU style ?? project?? never label a human being as a project kumekucha- it makes them sound like robots- OR YES MEN which Raila is not!!

Can you visualize Raila being Kibaki's project?? then why did he compaign for presidency? why did he not sign the deal? instead of wasting his time looking for votes?? from KENYANS??


And that is, Hon Raila Odinga and Mwai Kibaki have struck a “secret” deal. The kind of deal that will make the pair stick closer to each other than super glue. That deal was good for peace in Kenya and we are all very grateful that it happened when it did.

The deal is that Mwai Kibaki will name Raila Odinga his heir when he exits from the presidency in the next 2 years or so...

Abass said...

What was the offending remark? Chris, leme tell you, I am a stanuch Rail a
supporter and I made all my family members vote for him as were the people in my district-Mandera. But the fact is, he is no angel. Kenyans, don't be so naive. I am a staunch supporter of Raila as I was, didn't even change a bit. But does that mean we can't watch him or talk about the motives. To be honest, what Chris said here, I don't believe it unless Raila himself admits or after 2 yrs when we will know it clearly. And if this is true, then I will never support him again for it will the worst betrayal I ever saw in my life so far.

Abass said...

According to nation, ODM is proposing the creation of 5 extra ministries. That ain't the change we voted for. Too bad.

Anonymous said...

Chris with all due respect, this post is plain insulting.

It assumes Kenyans are myopic, totally lacking in intelligence and a sense of history; as painful as an experience as it has been for most of them.

We do know where we are as a nation in terms of politics and economics and understand that the road to better our situation will not be an easy one.

We refuse to resign ourselves to fate and will work with what we've got.

Abass said...

In the agreement, it is stated that the power shoudl be share in a 50-50 basis. So WHY should ODM concede the vice presidency? This is bad as it may divide the party coz we would have made Musaila VP and Ruto DPM.

Anonymous said...

I guess this is part of being a Kumekuchan; navigating between the facts on the ground and the contributor's speculative thoughts some of which are rather fantastic flights of fiction.

Thank God the Kenyan on the ground knows the road to democracy will not be easy; it hasn't been thus far...

Anonymous said...


You are very right
Kibaki has all along been a prisoner of these hardliners.
This power deal has RELEASED him from them.
Dont you see how the Mzee smiles these days?
For those who knows him,he gives no shit to anybody uless you step on his family direct.Kibaki will and has never died for anybody,as the hardliners have started to learn.All that matter is HIMSELF.
How do you explain the many fallen (politically) of what many though were his closest?

Raila has given the man freedom.He will not interfere with Raila.Raila knows this.That is why he said that he deals with Kibaki direct and that he is happy the "clique" is no longer a bother!
Look at it this way, the Mt.Kenya mafia has written to kibaki, fearing to be left out.
Thats Kibaki for you.We so it when he decided to campaign solo but the hardliners dont learn.Do they?

It can only get better for Kenyans.
I wouldnt argue with your post.
If Raila can make Kibaki's political life better,why not pass the button of power to him?

Anonymous said...

So now, Raila believes that Kibaki is a very good man who will let him run the country without going for an election.

This is not the ODM nomination process where the said candidates travelled around the country claiming to be campaigning on the same platfoirm yet they knew very well Raila was the choisen one.

Raila should be prepared to take all the murk that will come his way a wriggle himself out of it. Let him face the fact that there is already a rebellion within ODM and he has to work hard to stub it.

In 2002, he said that Moi had promised to step down for him and that is why he disbanded NDP.

Now, Kibaki will be leaving the reins to a person in the opposing camp. No. It will not happen. For as long as Kenya remains what it is, it will not happen. Derek (the PNU-mad one) said that when Kibaki invites the opposition, people would think that the Mara crossing has descended on the August house. I think Raila and ODM have proved this man's words. Where is Derek? He should be suffering from the after effects of the peace deal.

Anonymous said...

Why this deal cannot work:
1. Kikuyus will never vote for a Luo for surgical reasons and especially not Raila because he beat their man in the last polls.
2. Kikuyus felled Kibaki's best friends (akina Karume) and relatives (akina Kagwe). Would they vote for Raila just because Kibaki has said so? Already they are unhappy that he has even agreed to cede some of his powers to Raila!
3. Raila is too proud to be seen to have been helped by the same man he thinks he beat.
4. Kenyans are now wiser and will not unquestioningly allow politicians to decide for them who their leaders should be.
5. Raila has been asking for a re-run of elections against Kibaki because he is confident he can beat him any time. why would he now accept to play psychophant now so that he can be endorsed by Kibaki later?
6. Kenyans still want Anglo Leasing and Goldenberg thieves netted. Will they allow Raila to sweep this under the carpet.
7. Raila won votes due his "Change" slogan and Kibaki lost votes due to his coverup of corrupt practises. How would Raila get votes if he changes his Kazi ianzee slogan to Kazi iendelee.

I am a n ODM diehard, but if Raila is ever endorsed by Kibaki, I will quit in a huff.

Just out of curiosity, why is Raila so enthusiastic about the PM post which is only a fraction of what he could have got? He has been a fighter for the poor, why did he follow Kibaki to the golf club today? Could there be something we are not seeing here? I expect Raila to expend his energies planning and pushing for a new constitution, not being a caddy for Kibaki. Aaaaaah!

Anonymous said...

I think Kumekucha has a point here. We can't just sit back and think Raila is the messiah that will save Kenya. Have you ever thought it through? Where did Raila get all the cash he used to campaign? How did he all of a sudden become immensely rich? Lets go back and see what kind of politician Raila is? If one read today's eastandard then please open up your ears. Don't behave like the proverbial bird that burried its head in the sand at the sight of oncoming fire. Raila was having so much praise for Kibaki. He even went to the extent of saying he will help Kibaki fortify his legacy?? So, what is it that the two have agreed on? Guys, we should be open eyed. What did Raila enter into an agreement with Moi in 1998? How did he gain? Isn't it the time when he grabbed the molasses plant? It's even rumoured that it's during this time that he cut deals with the arabs and he gained immensely from this. My take is, we should approach this union very sceptically. Let's hope institutions will be strengthened and that Kenyans will be vigilant. Example, the anglo-leasing scam was unearthed by a mere PM, can we have MPs who will stand up to this task? Can we have a civil society that will stand up, will Mars Kenya and Mwalimu Mati be vigilant? Will maina Kiai be cowed? Let it be known Kenyans, if Raila and Kibaki want to screw Kenya up, wembe utakuwa ule ule.


Phil said...

REAL POLITIK - political manouvering is all about. Most commentators have a narrow understanding of what political manouvering is all about. They also fail to appreciate that there are never permanent enemies in politics, politics itself is dynamic and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Kibaki making a quiet succession deal with Raila.

On the other hand Chris, both Raila and Kibaki's body language has chnaged overnight so much so that the two politicians NO LONGER look like rivals who just two weeks ago were avowed enemies and were forced into a grand coalition by threats from the US government. SOmething is definitely cooking. If Kibaki would have kep the 2002 MOU, he would not have had a problem passing the 2005 referendum on the constitution and further, he would not have had to steal votes in 2007.

Anonymous said...

But Phil, you have been calling people names here. What kind of hypocrisyt is this Phil? Are you saying that if people dont agree with you they do not know politics and when you feed them with half-baked lies, like the Mudavadi one and they accept they know politics. Kibaki will not hand power to Raila. Wacha uongo. No perrmanent enemies. You are the man who has been calling Kibaki Mwizi, Kibaki has no legacy, Kibaki is not a stateman, calling Kikuyu athuri, Mt Kenya Mafia and even insulting Martha karua. Wacha zako bwana. This is always raila's imagination that people will leave the running of the country to him. Just like they leave partys they have founded for him. Njorogeston, The Earl of Kabeteshire in Nevada.

Anonymous said...

NEVER WILL THE MAN FROM THE LAKE ALLOW endorsement from bad blood.

And the Mungiki characters would not allow a nilotic person to ascend to power unless caught unawares.

Anonymous said...


Lets not be naive. We need to be vigilant. Please strengthen the blogosphere so that if there is no opposition, we can keep vigilant and feed Kenyans with the truth. Am sure you all know the power of blogging. We need patriots on the ground. The blog is emerging as a very powerful alternative press.


Anonymous said...

Please tell Raila not to accompany Kibaki anywhere, even if it is good for national healing. They will assasinate or poison him, if he is not careful.

Raila is a footballer and not an idler playing golf.

Tinga's work should be to build Coast Province, RV, Western, NEP and Nyanza which have been neglected totally by Kibaki.

Anonymous said...

Phil, Chris and your supporters.

The bottom line is that no government on earth is run by angels.

I agree with the Anon @ 9.02; the ordinary Kenyan (most of them) wants far reaching reforms and we will continue to push our leaders to make those reforms.

Don't let your imagination run wild. Put your ears to the ground like the rest of us and listen.

The 10th Parliament will not come to an end without a new constitution. If that is all we get from it then well and good - other governments will deliver the rest.

Anonymous said...

Chris, Chris, Chris!!!

So what if Raila and Kibaki have made a deal as far as the presidency is concerned (though I doubt this is the case)?

After the Agreement is in place (constitionally), majority of Kenyans will not care who is at the presidential helm.

THE 10TH PARLIAMENT IS A REFORMS PARLIAMENT; that is what Kenyans care about.

Anonymous said...

Two points Chris:

a) I appreciate your effort to bring colour to the website but the picture of the dolls is rather amateurish and cheapening...totally lacking in class for a blog like Kumekucha.

b)Kenyans have their eyes trained on REFORMS. Everything else that will occur bet. now and 2012 amounts to background noise.

Anonymous said...

As it currently stands, the Annan accord has a can-of-worms of an exit strategy. The agreement stands dissolved if one of the partners pulls out. Does that mean reversion to the status quo (God forbid!) or fresh elections? To ensure it's not all left to the whims of the two main protagonists, dissolution should require a majority vote in parliament the consequence of which MUST be new elections.

Anonymous said...

Chris you say you are humble:

Anon @ 8.49 - points out why you should apologise.

Anon @ 9.02 - points out why you should give Kenyans some credit for their ardent struggles for democracy and their determination to see the process through.

I have thrown down the gauntlet; are you going to retreat even a step?

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 8.49; I too feel offended.

There are Kenyans who gave the read on our flag meaning in the past two months. They fought for democracy and are not fools.

They know exactly what they want and know that the coalition is but the beginning.

Anonymous said...

He he he he!!!!! Hah hah hah hah!!!

I tell you my fellow Kenyans I have been laughing since the agreement was signed and I haven't stopped.

Chris is just like the rest of us. HE WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE AT HOW KIBAKI MADE AN ABOUT TURN and signed a deal with ODM demands.

Now he is clutching at straws - trying to piece together a narrative that explains the political phenomenon.

The truth is that we will never know what happened on that day for a couple of years...

Steve said...

Going by the reactions to this topic it seems like post has hit a nerve. Anon 7:43, why the defensiveness?

Anonymous said...

The barbie picture is inappropriate

Anonymous said...

Rhymmemaster @ 12:37; Don't worry. Kenyans are vigilant.

You should just experience the way they are monitoring the talks on the ground.

I can assure you there will be no rest until the constitution is changed and land reforms are seen through.

That is the same vigilance that brought about multipartism in 1992 after decades of KANU moja.

Kenyans are not about to forget opposition politics.

Abass said...

anon 1:28, my understandinmg is that since the agreement is very silent on the very important question of post-a-collapsed-coalition, it means that it will be back to status quo after this. Also, I believe this agreement isn't much of a reform and doesn't give Raila (PM)any meaningful power, the only good thing that ODM got was the 50-50 power sharing. In addition, this agreement has numerous loopholes that can be exploited for political gains; already Martha started today insisting Kibaki will chair the cabinet, that he remains executive president etc.

Anonymous said...

Abbas; great to hear from you -

E.A. Standard of 10/3/08; Odinga says that D. Nation allegations that ODM plans to expand cabinet to 38 are untrue and "mischevious at its worst" - given that Kenya is still at a critical stage as far as peace is concerned.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 1.43; you hit the nail on the head. Your psychological analysis is apt.

Chris was hit by the Agreement bomb and he is still wondering where it came from.

The real story will come out once there is a new constitution and possibly a new government in place years from now.

So yes, Chris, relax and control your imagination.

Amaan said...

Chris, could you please post this item an dmy previous post in response to anon 7:43

Anonymous said...

While supporting your latest post Chris, I strongly agree that we should approach this union very very sceptically. Ahmend Nassir pointed out in yesterday's Sunday Standard that this coalition government might be the most KLEPTOCRATIC that Kenyans have ever witnessed. Just take a look at the luminaries and you'll see what I mean:

1. PNU - Saitoti - Goldenberg scandal
2. ODM-K- Mutula Kilonzo - Moi's Lawyer, Goldenberg, Abacha Millions etc.
2. ODM- Mudavadi - Goldenberg scandal
3. ODM - Ruto - YK92, Processional way plots, Kenya Pipeline plots, Karen military plots scandals
4. ODM - Henry Kosgey - 4th All Africa Games, Kenya National Assuarance scandals.
5. ODM - Sally Kosgey - Kenya Railways Plots, NSSF buy-out of the same at Ksh 177M

The above are most likely to serve as Ministers in the new government. They might be in different parties but there's one thing that unites them very strongly - the culture of CORRUPTION and a deep seated belief that it is a PERK of LEADERSHIP in Kenya.

These are the people Kenyans are entrusting to lead a REFORM AGENDA. What a joke!

Anonymous said...

Chris, thanks for your post. I must congratulate you coz most of your predictions come to pass. However, I think you are over-looking the fact that Raila is much brighter than you think. Jaramogi called Moi a giraffe, but I think Raila is the real Giraffe. He knows what it would mean to sell his soul to Kibaki. Kwani how many times have we been told that "Ooh, Raila is finished, ohh this, ohhh that"? Very soon, he'll start squeezing the balls of the likes of Michuki who should have retired ages ago! Ngoja uone. The peace deal was a temporary ceasefire. The River Nile encountered an obstacle, a rock on it's path. But it MUST reach the Indian Ocean. Change is inevitable. Wazee warudi nyumbani, vijana wachukue usukani! Raila is a tactician. This is a tactical retreat! Those who've held public offices since independence have to retire now, by force. Just look at TLB and you'll see what I am talking about. Wazee hawawezi hata kusoma maandishi! They have to put on three layers of lensed spectacles! To the youths out there, please take up my call: WAZEE WAENDE NYUMBANI, VIJANA WAANZE KAZI SASA!

Mama Abby said...

Whatever you all say guyz, i only believe in one thing and that is - POWER CORRUPTS. Believe me you, that is the truth, power corrupts and it can corrupt any one including Raila. Odmers please let us be honest. We should allow room for both negative and positive sides of Agwambo. If Chris has some info that he might get fooled (he can he is a human being) it is his right to inform us. And it is also our right to study and see whether it is true or false before name calling Chris. Now that those guyz are one anything can happen! U did see them yesterday at that golf place didnt you? Odmers please, posting this doesnt mean Chris is anti-odm, we need the truth from whatever side it affects. Kudos Chris, keep up the good job and update us more.

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