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Friday, November 30, 2007

The Uhuru Question and Kibaki Succession


By Kijana Kibisu
One question that has refused to go away is why the leader of the official opposition party would abandon his constitutional role to support the re-election of a sitting head of state. Historians tell us that this unprecedented action has already Uhuru a place in the Guinness Book of Records.What historians forget to add that is that Uhuru's move took months of negotiations with the current regime.

In a series of meetings brokered by Central Province old guard, John Michuki, Njenga Karume and Kibaki's Muthaiga golf club friends, Uhuru was prevailed upon not only to abandon his plans of running for the top post in 2007 but also to reunite KANU by making peace with Nicholas Biwott's New KANU. Further, he was asked to keep a decent distance from Raila's Odinga's ODM. These discussions culminated in the signing of a secret MoU between Kibaki and Uhuru. So what was Uhuru promised in return?

By agreeing to support Kibaki's PNU, KANU was allowed the privilege of preserving its identity within the umbrella party. While other parties were being pressurized to accept joint nomination under PNU, KANU was exempted. The second part of the MoU dealt with campaign funds. The president agreed to underwrite KANU's campaign costs in this year's elections (the party received 50m shillings just to participate in PNU's launch). The third and most important aspect of the MoU dealt with Kibaki succession plan. In this regard, Kibaki promised to use all state resources at his disposal to ensure Uhuru's victory in 2012 elections.

For a while, Central Province leaders and strategists have focused their attention on a succession plan that would ensure retention of power in the region. Although names like George Saitoti, Martha Karua, Kiraitu Murungi have been bandied on and off, Uhuru is increasingly seen as the region's crème de la crème. Not only is he young, savvy and untainted by pervasive corruption, Uhuru comes from the well known Kenyatta family that has immense wealth.

Kibaki's current and rather spirited campaign is therefore more than a just fight for a second five-year term. It is a battle to ensure that power is retained in Central Province until 2022, at least! This was, in essence, the MoU between Uhuru and Kibaki. Indeed, Uhuru has publicly admitted this strategy (without divulging its essential details) when he met with angry KANU supporters to try and assuage their anger over his unilateral decision to offer KANU's support to Kibaki.

Bare-boned Kenya
In the meantime and even as Kenyans sing and dance their hearts out in support of their favourite political parties, Kibaki and his Central Province friends are busy selling off public assets to themselves at throw away prices. Hiding behind persistent calls for privatization by Bretton Woods institutions, they are wasting no time at all in disposing of ALL public assets. By the time power passes into the hands of others in 2022 (but preferably later), nothing but 'bare bones' will be left.

This is why the thought of this well thought plan being disrupted by Raila and his ODM party evokes so much anger and panic in Central Kenya. The 'good work' that Kibaki started in 2002 is not done yet, you know. Another 5 (but preferably 15) years are needed to complete the work! What you may not know is that this good work is consolidation of both political and economic power in one region.

The concept of devolution of political and economic power away from the Centre (another name for Central Province ), is clearly inimical to the grand plan referred to above. The idea is that once the plan is implemented, everybody else (mainly from Western, Coast, Rift Valley and NE provinces) could only be employees (not owners) of former public (but now private) companies owned by the new super rich elite. Millions of others would be tenants in Nairobi offices and houses owned by the same group.

Killing devoluion
However, this plan would come a cropper if new economic centers (in Kakamega, Kwale, Busia, Garissa or Narok) were to spring up through the devolution or ugatuzi arrangement. Suddenly, property value in Nairobi might come tumbling down. Cheap labour, mainly from Western Kenya and parts of Eastern, that keeps Nairobi 's economy running would vanish overnight.

Why would someone from Sabatia take up an askari job and live in a mabati shack in Nairobi for just 200 shillings a day? It is also easy to imagine what might happen if devolved regional administrations decided to build or upgrade airports in Kisumu, Busia or build cold storage centers in North Eastern. Suddenly, horticultural and livestock produce from these regions would find their way into the same external markets that are currently dominated by Central Kenya farmers. To these folks, ugatuzi is clearly an idea whose time has not come.

This year's election is perhaps the most important election in Kenya 's history. The outcome will determine whether or not the Grand Power Plan outlined above succeeds. By re-electing Kibaki, Kenyans can forget about any meaningful change for another 15-20 years.

Stop Press, Avoid HIV/AIDS



The heightening political heat may have obscured an important day in our calender. Tomorrow is world's AIDS day dedicated by the UN to reflect on the impacts of this scourge on both the affected and infected.

HIV and AIDS probably remain the most misunderstood human conditions despite being with us for more than three decades. The stigma and trivialization of this crave danger to mankind cannot be gainsaid.

But in the din of all this dark cloud lies a silver lining. Knowledge can help emancipate ourselves from social and emotional bondage occasioned by AIDS. The hard facts must be faced squared in effort to curb this menace. Almost every Kenyan knows about the dangers and facts about AIDS. We all sing about behavioural change except our efforts often end at the parroting.

We must seize our own destiny in our hands and measure up to the challenge of fighting AIDS lest we be condemned as the lost generation that yapped and yapped some more with no tangible effort to stop an epidemic taking residence amidst us.

Cultural slavery
Kenyans must not remain slaves to cultures laced with death. This is not to uncritically demonise any culture instead we must be alive to the fact that culture is dynamic and you only hide behind a retrogressive culture at the peril of going extinct. This is no excuse to shout demeaning and stereotypical thinking about any traditional practices.

There is more to cultural dynamism than simply being the opposite of static. We must embrace any practice that can help minimize our demise without subtracting any substantive facets of our existence and tradition. For example circumcision among heterosexual men for example is now known to significantly reduce AIDS prevalence.

None other than the respected Lancet medical journal reported in February 2007 findings of three major trials conducted in Kenya, South Africa and Uganda which indicated that circumcision can significantly reduce men's chances of contracting the virus that causes AIDS.

It is medically proven that the fragile tissue on the inside of the foreskin is vulnerable to minor tears or abrasions during sex. It is through these tears that HIV can get into the blood. If not for anything the practice promotes human hygiene.

Athletic around the waist
Make no mistake. This is no fodder for ethnic purists who will predictable and uncritically steal the sails and cloth this scientific fact in their bigotry gab and run with it. AIDS is real and it has nothing to do with tribes but EVERYTHING to do with our individual behaviors.

For the infected and affected they all need us. HIV/AIDS is no longer the death sentence it used to be. Know your status, count your blessings, stay and live positively.

We must collectively fight this monster. Because even circumcision does not provide immunity to the AIDS virus. the era of emotional machoism is long gone and the present world has no room for plural marriages nor partners.

Be athletic with your waist if you must. But also be aware that in so doing you are unwittingly and terminally signing your death warrant in golden letters. No amount of preaching can save us from this hell. Abstinence is easier preached than practiced.

Circumcision may offers only partial protection but the small reduction in risk of infection may be the demarcation between life and death. If you must indulge then use condoms and avoid multiple sexual partners. There are no two ways about it, no ifs no buts.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Shocker: What The Hell Is Going In Kenya?




Special Urgent Report

Are the following chain of events a mere coincidence?

Two APs were arrested yesterday distributing anti-Raila Odinga hate flyers/posters. They said they were following orders from some SSP (Senior Superintendent of Police) based in the office of the president and even named him. This happened even as police headquarters were busy rubbishing ODM assertions about the said posters. Police headquarters has now gone “loudly” quiet and are unlikely to issue any statement explaining why they were denying something that has now been proved to be true.

Today the hate flyers have re-emerged in Eldoret. “Re-emerged” means that people were seen with them, meaning that somebody distributed them, possibly last night. My question; who has the resources and network on the ground (not to mention audacity) to dare continue the distribution of the hate literature even after people have been arrested.

At the moment President Kibaki’s campaign is concentrated in the Rift Valley (he has been there over the last few days). It is very rough going for him and he has been booed by wananchi in many areas. In a brief, heavily edited clip that KTN keep repeating the president looks visibly exhausted as he faces a hostile crowd, but most of the sound is drowned out apart from a sudden “strange” mighty roar when he asks the crowd to indicate who amongst them will vote for him. The obvious question; is there a link between the distribution of the hate literature and the current PNU campaign concentrated in the Rift Valley? Could this have been an attempted co-coordinated move that has gone badly wrong?

Retired President Moi has sworn that he will deliver the Kalenjin vote to President Mwai Kibaki come what may. By the way we are all aware of President Moi’s rather “effective” campaign tactics, are we not? If not, just do a little research on all multi-party elections involving Moi especially in 1992 and 1997.

Clashes have flared up in certain areas of the Rift Valley like Kuresoi. Crude weapons are in use. Crude weapons that look very familiar, please see the paragraph below.

A government vehicle belonging to assistant Minister and immediate former Budalangi MP Raphael Wanjala was impounded by police carrying a large volume of crude weapons. At the time the vehicle was impounded, it was in the Rift valley.

P.S. Cardinal John Njue has returned into the country this morning. But why was the crowd waiting for him singing PNU campaign songs like Ndio mana tunasema aendelee.. Wonders will never cease, will they? By the way at the airport to meet Njue was Vice President Moody Awori.

5 Most Popular stories on Kumekucha today-29th Nov

1. Two APs caught red handed distributing hate literature

2. Mystery behind Raila's sudden popularity

3. Sahel CEO says that Raila is God's choice for president

4. What our Luo brothers need to know

5. Creative arithmetic of Steadmann Polls

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Two APs Caught Red-Handed Distributing Anti-Raila Hate Posters




Plus: Why are Kenyan voters so angry? What impact will this deadly emotion have on post Dec 27th activities?

With just 28 days to go to the mother of all Kenyan general elections, a dramatic and mind-numbing new twist made its’ grand entry into the unfolding drama.

A number of people including two Administration Policemen were caught red handed in Rift Valley distributing anti-Raila hate propaganda posters. And even as this bizarre incident unfolded police headquarters was busy denying that any such posters existed and said that they were unaware of any such distribution, hitting out at Prof Anyang Nyong’o for “spreading self-seeking damage control propaganda”. The folks at police headquarters have now become experts on party propaganda and publicity-seeking tactics and every single statement of denial now includes that pet subject of the police commissioner and his lieutenants at Vigilance House. It will be interesting to hear what they say in reaction to the latest arrests.

Oddly enough the APs confessed to interrogators that they had received their orders to distribute the posters from a superior, actually some SSP (senior Superintend of police) whom they even named.

Even more interesting is the fact that an anonymous reader tipped off Kenyans right here in Kumekucha about the said posters even as they were leaving Nairobi for distribution in Rift Valley...

Read more

The 5 Most popular stories in Kumekucha today-28th Nov

1. What our Luo brothers need to know

2. Mystery behind Raila's sudden popularity

3. Little know facts from the history of the Luos

4. Creative arithmetic of Steadmann polls

5. Was that really Raila on NTV?

Sahel CEO Says That Raila Is God's Choice

As I publish the views of this Kenyan CEO of Sahel books, let me emphasize that I will also publish any similar sentiments from PNU, ODM-K etc. This blog is not an ODM blog as some of our detractors would gleefully like to proclaim at the slightest excuse. -Kumekucha-

Ladies and gentlemen, the Hon. Odinga is God's choice to lead Kenya.

A race that started in the eighties is set to end on the 27th. The Hon. Odinga has given it all he had...and then more. If you took time to look at the way this race has been run, you'll recall the moments when it looked tough. When it was downright dishertening. When giving up seemed like the easier, sensible thing to do. But the Hon. Odinga shouldered on. His love for the nation supereceded the pull of comfort and bliss. And so as we get ready for the elections, you need to have a rationale for doing so. Here is why you'll vote for the Hon. Odinga.

1. First and foremost, the Hon. Odinga loves Kenya. Ladies and gentlemen, we're talking about a man who is an accomplished businessman, a wealthy individual who could afford to sit quietly in his Karen home and watch Kenya dwindle into total chaos. But he won't. Instead, he's been out there, through the Moi dictatorship and the Kibaki treachery, keeping Kenyans hoping for a better day. He led us to Kamukunji, to defeat the Uhuru Project, to defeat te referendum and brought us the concept of primaries. At last, that day is about to dawn on the land we all love.

2. The Hon. Odinga is a man of the people. I've personally watched how Kenyans in the diaspora...

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The 5 Most popular stories in Kumekucha today-28th Nov

1. What our Luo brothers need to know

2. Mystery behind Raila's sudden popularity

3. Little know facts from the history of the Luos

4. Creative arithmetic of Steadmann polls

5. Was that really Raila on NTV?

What's in a Name?



What does your name mean? Or asked differently does your name matter? Well, you better keep the answers to yourself because depending on where you live that your answer can be VERY COSTLY.

A British teacher has been charged in court in Sudan for allowing her students to name a teddy bear Muhammad - a name with 14 permutations in spelling. According to the prosecution her act is an insult to religion.

Matters religion can be very personal and explosive. Many are ready to lose their lives for their beliefs. Well, that enriches the diversity in humankind. Fanaticism and passion are two words that can be conveniently used interchangeable to further one's course. Whether mwalimu Gillian Gibbons is guilty as charged is not for me to charge.

Drawing a parallel on what is in a name you can't fail to notice a muddled version of this case closer home. Most Kenyans form opinions about others on 'controversial' (read political) arguments based on cluster of letters cobbled together to spell a name. If your name is not regionally identifiable and you don't suffer any tonal betrayals (shrubbing) then trust some Kenyan to cleverly enquire about your parents' ancestral home.

Granted religion is something very personal. But it is not that clear cut either becasue in there too lies its predatory traits. Take away personal insecurities (WANTs) the heart is neither vulrenable nor provide a soft landing sermons delivered with furry that often leaves the preacher's mouth foaming. Make no mistake. This is not meant to deny the role prayers/beliefs play in out lives. But at the same time we must appreciate the fact that whoever endowed with grey matter never meant to let us abuse it by being hysterical and hide under dogma.

The Sudanese government have just been handed a gem to hit at the west by escalating a teacup storm. But looked at differently they may be unfairly punishing a teacher involving her students in appreciating a teaching aid.

Mark you these were Sudanese primary school kids aged about 10. Now jjust imagine if this act were to be reciprocated the world over then manyy South American and Spanish men called Jesus would all end up on the dungeon. Well religion is the sum total of faith and TALES clothed in dogma and is personal.

Opinion Polls and Voter Programming

Guest post by Tom M.

Hi Chris,

I read your interesting take on the Steadman polls (creative arithmetic) and decided to offer a another perspective. I hope you publish it.

Have a nice day
Tom

_____________________

Opinion Polls and Voter Programming

The latest SM opinion poll showing convergence in the popularity of the two leading presidential hopefuls represents voter programming at its hilarious worst. It is voter programming equivalent of scraping the barrel.

It's a long story, walk with me to Tena Hq and learn. PNU's original strategy was to use SM to malleate Kenyans into a Kibaki-win mindset by having them buy into the "credibility" of SM polls. The strategy was simple, set Raila up with good initial ratings then whittle them away by gradually cranking up Kibaki's "popularity". It was a no brainer; I mean everyone knew Raila's electability was inversely proportional to the square of the distance from his Nyanza homeland? I mean seriously, this was grown up stuff, not the referendum!

Unfortunately for the PNU brainiacs, Raila turned out to be electable after all. So much so the tide poured across six provincial borders and threatened a seventh! And just when they thought it couldn't get any worse, rogue pollsters firmly buried any notion that Raila was unelectable. Caught between questionable statistics and damaging press, SM opted for "science." They blamed their drastically different poll ratings on a new data collection method "it made the opinion poll "more ‘reflective."

Finally out of ideas, and with panic dancing a frenzied jig at Tena Hq, PNU strategists called in the butchers. It was brutal. Screams could be heard all the way to the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics as the butchers got down to work. When it was over, the numbers and computations lay in a gruesome mangled mess, spluttered across tens of pages. Early the next morning cleaners from Normalization Ltd. came and hosed-down and fumigated the pages.

They did their job well, but not well enough, for when the "latest" opinion poll was presented to Kenyans an amazing thing happened; from deep within the muddled recesses of the poll, plaintive cries for help could be heard. For in the midst of the violence and the number-spluttered mayhem that was the SM poll, some original statistics had survived! Their brave story of survival reflects our tenacious spirit and absolute determination to make a break with the past.

Why The Sharp Appreciation Of Kenyan Shilling Is Not Good News For Christmas

Kenyans in the Diasporas will have to dig deeper into their pockets for Christmas presents, but there is a possible solution.

There are conflicting reasons as to why the Kenyan shilling has appreciated so dramatically over the last few days. There are those who believe that this latest development cannot be de-linked from the forthcoming mother of all general elections scheduled for 27th December, and that some of our politicians are bringing in huge sums of money from secret accounts abroad to finance the last push of the political campaigns.

Whatever the reasons, a strong shilling has so far not benefited the vast majority of Kenyans because rather than prices going down, they have been going up. Not to mention the fact that thousands of jobs have been lost in the horticultural industry and other sectors that heavily relies on exports for their earnings.

Now there is further concern amongst Kenyans in the Diaspora as they contemplate sending gifts home to their loved ones this Christmas. The painful thing is that they will have to dig deeper into their pockets. Estimates show that for every $100 in gifts sent home, the recipients will be losing up to Kshs 400 when compared to the rate just last week.

Fortunately there are certain options currently in the market that will help a great deal to cushion Kenyans on both sides of this Christmas equation—namely those receiving gifts and those sending them.

This is the rather innovative service offered by Mama Mikes that allows for secure and timely delivery of gifts to any remote corner of Kenya. The fee charged for the service is reasonable o that it beats other much more expensive and less reliable options that Kenyans have been using to send Christmas cheer home (like sending friends who are returning home to vote.)

The truth is that times are hard for most Kenyans at home and those who have not been to Kenya for the last couple of years will not be in a position to appreciate just how bad things really are for so many of their previously prosperous Kenyans.

Mercifully during this season of goodwill and gift-giving, there is a chance to bring a smile of remembrance and good cheer to somebody back home.

The Mama Mikes site makes it possible to accomplish this very securely.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Opposition Parties Blocked From Holding Any Political Rallies In The City




Between now and the election, only PNU will be able to hold political rallies in Nairobi city and all opposition parties have been effectively locked out. This has simply been accomplished by PNU booking all major venues back to back between now and the December 27th 2007 polls.

This includes Uhuru Park, Nyayo Stadium, Kasarani Stadium etc.

There is of course nothing illegal about this since any Kenyan is free to book any facilities they so wish as long as they can meet the financial obligations involved. So is it a case of PNU outsmarting all the other political parties, or have they shot themselves in the foot. Only time and the results of the December 27th general elections will be able to answer that question conclusively.

What Our Luo Brothers Need To Know Urgently

I have just completed weeks of a most fascinating research I have been undertaking. It has involved consultations with many of my contacts in the Luo community as well as research on the web.

My personal belief is that what I have unearthed is extremely fascinating and could hold the key to Kenyans understanding what is one of the most misunderstood communities in the country today.

However in making the series of posts that you are about to read I am not naïve and am well aware of the fact that many of our readers are not interested in spiritual matters and have very little knowledge of it and yet whether we are ignorant of it or not, it usually affects our lives in such a devastating and permanent way.

My strong advice is that those of our readers who will not dare delve as deep as we are about to do here should just ignore these posts and move on. There is plenty of other political news and information in the rest of this blog to keep you occupied, entertained and intrigued.

So that you may all understand my reason for undertaking this strange piece if research in the first place, let me start by pointing out that there are those who are convinced (including this blogger) that there has been divine...

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Monday, November 26, 2007

The Creative Arithmetic of The Steadmann Polls

I badly need some further education in mathematics to understand something that really puzzles me.

I wasn’t really all the bad in maths and I scored a decent credit in my O-levels, however my limited knowledge is obviously not enough to enable me fully grasp the latest Steadmann poll.

Here’s my simple question.

How is it possible for a presidential candidate to lead convincingly in 6 provinces but end up tying with his opponent who has a strong showing in only two provinces?

Don’t get me wrong. I am genuinely looking for answers here because I believe there is a logical explanation to this. One of the possibilities of course could be the fact that the single community, from which the latter presidential candidate is receiving most of his support from, outnumbers several other top communities in Kenya put together.

Having said that, let me add that the Steadmann folks are way too sensitive to effectively handle the very public and very political tool that they are dealing with here...

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The 5 most popular sories in Kumekucha today-Nov 26th

1. Was that really Raila Odinga on NTV?

2. Missed opportunity by PNU to bury ODM

3. Kenyan couple trying to shut down Kumekucha

4. ODM ad that no Kenyan media house will touch

5. What impact Kenneth Matiba's entry into presidential race?

Youth Easily Deceived



Yesterday the president was busy spelling out his elaborate youth plan to an already highly disfranchised yet unmistakeably key crucial voting bloc-the segmented youth of Kenya
No promise was good enough not to be made-300,000 new jobs by the end of 2008, enabling the youth to be fully represented in every aspect of society's decision making leadership,..truly not even the sky was the limit
Leaving glib smooth-talk aside for just a second, one thing the president did get right though is when he said that the youth can reform Kenya. What he failed to mention is..."if given a chance" Standing under an open hot sun listening to dinosaurs of yesterday rehash tall stories from a piece of paper stating party beliefs of the way to the promised land is one way of campaigning but it is certainly not the chance the youth want nor is it the way President should have chosen to go in order to attract that crucial key youth vote
Long have Kenya's youth been duped into holding in high esteem those who shout the loudest claiming to do so on their behalf but with no subsequent delivery. Not anymore. This year's December elections has already attracted a record high number of both parliamentary and civic young candidates and the message is clear-no more talk. the leaders of tomorrow are starting work today
The president should have had by his side the FEW (emphasis) young candidates who did manage to win the PNU party primary nominations to vie for seats in next months elections. Other than his and Mohammed Kuti, their faces should have been the ones he chose to parade yesterday in-front of 1,000 plus segment of his youth supporters. At least for that one event only, banish far from sight the appearance of anyone remotely resembling dinosaur architects of past decay if you are serious about convincing the younger population that you intend for them to form the core of your administration should you win
Moving on
Strategy is what failed some of these young contenders to the mweshimiwa title; for example, quite a number did not win in the just concluded sham of a parties nominations yet apart from saving their own posteriors by decamping to "grass is greener" parties, the majority have shown that other than having little years in life to their advantage, they were ill-prepared to wrest the parliamentary seats from their older, more subtle occupiers who though having little life remaining in their few years are snakes waiting to be rattled. More groundwork and grass-roots support is needed my young friends if we are to not forget the name of your face in the next 3+weeks
Congratulations to the successful aspirants including Jesse Masai, John Kiarie and Mongolo-to the rest of you losers, its not over until the Anglo-leasing bird sings. Keep your eyes fixed firmly on D-day and give us a hat-trick-hata kama ni kwa TIPTIP
Amani Kenya

Rat Race to State House 2007



The leading presidential candidates conveniently put last week's party nomination fiasco behind them by puling no stops in launching their final dash in the state House race. But the political terrain is so bumpy leaving them to cling to hope and Kenya's good manners of forgetting fast and doing their bidding.

President Kibaki must have seen it coming by snubbing a bonding session with PNU nominees at KICC leaving his ever loyal deputy Uncle Moody to soothe the hostile moods of PNU aspirants and losers. And as good leader he only appeared at the right time with the right stuff in hosting a sumptuous lunch at Intercontinental hotel.

Careful not to reopen gaping political wounds, Kibaki steered clear of controversy and even toned down on his earlier directive for a three-piece PNU voting. That is vantage Kenyan politician for you, ready to sup with the devil with eyes singularly trained on the ultimate trophy.

But PNU is not out of the political woods yet. The many fringe parties supporting Kibaki are meeting tomorrow to 'brainstorm' on the impact of Emilio's weekend directive to recognize only PNU nominees. Reading in between the line where no words is printed this amounts to clever blackmail. They are daring the Kibaki to ignore them at his own political peril. Knowing what is at stake your guess on the heat
ahead is as good as mine.

Pawns in the political game
Across the city at Bomas, the juice from hitherto sweet orange proved too bitter for nomination losers. They came to claim glory in loss and alive to the titanic battle with the incumbent ahead, the Pentagon has never been more soft and reconciliatory.

Beneath all this mad race to rule and not lead us lies the true colour of our leaders. They lie with straight face and will stop at nothing to cheat their way into our hearts and power.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Now madam Ngilu can afford to let the cat roam out of the political bag by broadcasting to all and sundry that she kept Narc party in her bag to wade off Kibaki and ''save Kenya'. That is EXPEDIENCY per excellence.

But wait a minute. Who is fooling who here? Picture this. Kibaki wins the presidency and Kanu wins most seats, who becomes the Official opposition? Or worse still, Raila wins and a Ngilu also coasts with a sizable number of Narc MPs out of the 78 who sought political solace in her outfit after losing the nominations.

Scoundrels per excellence
The tenth parliamentary may be just as chaotic if not more selfish than their discredited and shameless ninth counterparts. The only constant in all this political dynamics is that we as Kenyans have accepted to remain pawns in the political games played out by these scoundrels for politicians.

In a nutshell we are inevitably staring in the face another 5 years of whining and more political motions with no commensurate movement. Welcome to Kenyans brand of politics. Na bado.

Kenya's Legal Killing Fields



Oscar Foundation Free Legal Aid Clinic-Kenya has confronted the Government with researched and gory detail on the massacre of 8040 Kenyans during the operation to wipe out Mungiki. And to make matters worse, the group adds that a further 4,070 people had gone missing as security forces tried to wipe out the Mungiki sect.

Whatever the case, killing that many Kenyans for whatever reason is a massacre by any other name. And given the explosive emotions accompanying such events one can safely bet that our Government is deluding herself in bottling a time bomb waiting to explode.

No form of extrajudicial killing is warranted in any civilized society. The Mungiki menace is one thing fertilized by our scoundrel es for politicians. Add to this the fuel of corruption in the police force and inept judicial system then you get a lethal recipe for chaos.

The next 3+ weeks will see the demand of these gangs skyrocket as politician seek to sort their opponents out. And such is the unwitting watering of the cancer that will outgrow its funders and take us hostage to their murderous ways thereafter. Speak of sharpening the spear only to end up having its nice sharp blades kissing your skull. Are we steadily grinding into a country at war with itself?

Saturday, November 24, 2007

890 Begin Mad Race to (Mis)lead Kenya




With almost 1000 Kenyans queueing to join the club of waheshimiwa, the big battle and race to next month's elections being in earnest. With only 210 seats vacant, the next 30+ days will witness political heat like never seen before in Kenya's history.

The galaxy of contestants all have their eyes singularly trained on the trophy of goods besides the hefty pay cheque. And this is the time our collective conscience and efforts are auctioned at the altar of sectarianism and pettiness.

The obscene number of aspirants with a poor province like Coast having well over 200 only goes ahead to betray the predictable poor quality winners. The price surely negates the high stakes. True, a part from religion only politics flourishes in Kenya with no correlation to economic depression. So let enterprising Kenyans cash in.

Moreover you cannot blame Kenyans either because they can only afford to make hay when it is still shinning because the sun will disappear only to reappear with same lies in 2012. In the process the highest bidder takes our national soul in his/her pocket and either chose to resuscitate it or kill it within 5 years.

Different acts, same script
Painfully the few faces that embody our hopes have no chance in hell to make it anywhere near the podium come December 27. The KJ's of this world cannot stand the tide that sweeps anybody with shallow pockets and no tribal goons nor mouths for hire.

The shameful 9th parliament selfishly and unwittingly placed political noose around their necks by coating their seats with honey which political bees have found irresistible. In the face all aspirants it amounts to acting differently but the script and objective is the same.

If only wishes were horses, how I pray these madness came and passed as fast a bad dream. Well, this a true necessary and legal devil we have to entertain. Na bado.

You Can Have Your Cake And Eat It


A new study by medical researchers in the US suggests that being overweight might actually be beneficial for health. In its latest edition, the Journal of American Medical Association states that modestly overweight people demonstrated a lower death rate than their peers who are underweight, obese or normal weight

Quite an interesting study from the modern day land of milk and honey-I am sure the Americans are aware that what appears to be on the surface quite a legitimate piece of scientific work and study will be shrunk and beaten down to down to propaganda for the sake of cultural EXPEDIENCY-some countries are more equal than others, and what is good for Goose is not necesarily good for the Gander

Here again there is a lesson for the Kenyan voters-why does everyone keep complaining about how terrible politicians are when we always keep voting them or someone like them back in time and again? The only conclusion must be that they are not all THAT bad-kiboko yao, we love and hate at the same time the type of leadership they offer us and yet we cannot imagine living life without them

Poor Kenyans-we want wrong people to lead us without bad consequences, the snake charmer to entrance us without rattling the very snake that can bite us

did anyone just hear one HUGE collective sigh of relief coming from Uncle Sam across the Atlantic?

Kazi Hakuendelea na Howard



Australians have just shown their PM the door after 11 years in office. And true to calamities coming in droves Bw. Howard is headed to losing the parliamentary seat he has held for the last 33 years. Just permute names and you get familiar message back home in Kenya.

Mr Howard campaigned on his record of sound economic management - aka kazi iendelee. But Aussies had other designs and because power intoxicates Howard refused to read sign of the times after training in the pools the whole year.

Poor Howard! But he can at least afford a plastic smile in DEFEAT. Can it dignity or any positive trait but right inside the chap is on fire. The problem with leaders is NOT KNOWING WHEN TO QUIT.

The new Australian PM Rudd saw it and ran on new leadership platform. If only we had such a pool of quality to replace our scoundrels. We only have hope as the singular asset in our possession. We cannot afford to lose it lest we inadvertently action our souls and motherland too. Kenya ni yetu.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Garden Tools in Government Vehicles.

By releasing the previously impounded GK vehicle, laden with assorted crude weapons stashed in sacks, Kibakis’ administration is intimating that his water assistant minister is indeed a multi-billionaire farmer requiring an inordinate number of bodyguards armed with heavy rungus…. capable of inflicting high doses of pain on anyone threatening the person of the honorable MP. Apparently, it is also planting season at Wanjalas’ expansive farm; thus the need for very many sharp pangas for clearing the huge tracts of land; the tougher bushes will be cut by the never disappointing Somali swords. It is not clear what the whips will be used for, but since they were at the discounted sale price at Nakumatt, why not indulge?

The question is, as posed by my lawyer friend, what crime has been committed? At what point does a panga, in government protected transit, become anything more than a common garden tool? Is this a simple case of misuse of public property i.e. use of the GK vehicle in the transportation of government unrelated garden tools? Does innocent until proven guilty apply here?….considering the fact that if any harm is to be unleashed upon hapless villagers, it must be before Dec 27th.

It is fact that a stone becomes a weapon when it is speeding towards the head of a soon to be victim of a very bad and excruciating headache. That said, who’s more of a criminal?, the stone hurling PNU sympathizer in Juja constituency or the government minister destined to posses in his arsenal, shiny and crisp unused pangas…among other assorted garden tools.

Folks, whereas the outrage?

Eto the Pride of Africa



Africa's great philosopher Franz Fannon must be ashamed in his grave for thinking that Africa's map represents a question mark. Despite her many warts the epic of world's beautiful game is coming to Africa in two year's time.

And what a masterpiece to see Cameroon/Barcelona's Samuel Eto's face angled to represent the face of world cup coming to SA in 2010? That is native pride at its purest if you ask me. But are Kenyans doing anything to reap in the forthcoming windfall? Ama we are dreaming, sleeping and eating raw politics?

Steadman Polls: Raila & Kibaki In Tight Race

Steadman Opinon Poll Results 23 Nov 2007: Is Kenya headed for a run-off?

Raila Odinga: 43.6%
Mwai Kibaki: 43.3%
Kalonzo Musyoka: 11.4%
Pastor Pius Muiru: 0.1%
Kenneth S.N. Matiba 0.2%

The research was done between 17 and 19 November 2007 and involved 2,709 in all the eight provinces of Kenya.

Raila Odinga was earlier today asked to comment on these results but he retorted that he is not worried about Kibaki's improved rating because he is confident that "the people are with him".

The last few weeks has more of PNU campaigns and publicity activities that that of ODM. The latter is due to start its homestretch campaigns from this Monday and have already coined a campaign them " Real Change for all Kenyans".

Just a thought; if Kalonzo was to drop his bid and support Kibaki, while Matiba goes ahead and endorses Raila; who will emerge the winner?

Latest News: LIVONDO FAILS ECK LANGUAGE PROFICIENCY TEST

The ECK last evening declined to accept Mr. Stanley Livondo's Direct Nomination for Lang'ata Constituency by PNU after he failed to pass the Language Proficiency Test given by ECK last week.

The flamboyant rookie politician who only a month ago was arrested on murder suspicions after the fatal shooting of a youth during a public meeting he had attended in Western Kenya is said to have dropped out of school at Standard Six and can hardly construct an English or Kiswahili sentence let alone pronounce words like "Categorically" and "Ashamedly".

Unknown to Livondo , Kenya 's electoral rules require that Parliamentary candidates pass Oral & Written Language Proficiency Test. Earlier today thousands of PNU supporters from Central Kenya were reportedly disenfranchised after the ECK declared that 20,000 newly registered voters in Lang'ata had committed electoral fraud by double registering.

"I Sdanley Lifondo teclare here totay my inderest in te seat for te memper of barliamend for Kibera. I plech to remufu one Raila Otinga from his currendi stanting as MB in tis gonstichuensy."

Members of the Press had to remind Mr. Livondo that the constituency is called Langata,and not Kibera. More reports filtering in indicate that Stanley Livondo attempted to have the ECK approve his candidature on the strength of marks he scored in an English Composition that he wrote while in standard six at Bukhungu Tay & Poarding Primary School .

Mr. Livondo is set to hold a press conference later today at Inzogu Bar & Restaurant where it is rumoured that he will use the opportunity to showcase his Standard Six Composition and accuse his main opponent of "Priping" the ECK even as he moves to "tuck" the "ECK Pullet".

This did not surprise me at all when I received the news via email, am waiting to see if ECK rules will be bent in his case.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Election Violence Weapons Found In Assistant Minister’s Car




Kenyans voters are still numb with shock even as they seek answers from a very bizarre incident that took place late last night.

Acting on a tip off police did what they would usually not do. They stopped an Assistant Minister’s official GK vehicle and searched it. It is what they found inside that has shocked the nation. There was an assortment of crude weapons including Pangas, whips and arrows. Dozens of them. Eye witnesses say that there were slightly over 200 whips!!

Reports indicate that suspicious Nakumatt Supermarket staff (where some of the crude weapons were purchased) were suspicious and quickly tipped off the police who swung into action.

The vehicle and assorted crude weapons are detained at a Nakuru police station. The government (GK number plates) vehicle was headed for Western Kenya at the time the police made their shocking discovery. The vehicle belongs to assistant minister for Water Raphael Wanjala of the PNU party. Mr Wanjala is the immediate former MP for the floods prone Bundalangi constituency.

There are numerous questions that beg for answers...

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The 5 most popular stories in Kumekucha today

1. Was that really Raila Odinga on NTV?

2. Missed opportunity by PNU to bury ODM

3. Big fat Kenyan politicians: They just don't get it do they?

4. Kenyan couple trying to shut down Kumekucha

5. Why Kumekucha is glad to belong to the lower class.

January 2008 Assuming That PNU Win The Elections…




It is January 2008 and President Kibaki having just won a very closely contested general elections, disappears back into the inner rooms of State House where he was hidden prior to the hectic campaigns of late last year.

President Kibaki is of course the first president of Kenya to live in State House, Nairobi as well as work from there. The last ruler of the land to do so was in fact the last representative of the Queen shortly before Kenya gained her independence in 1963, governor Malom McDonald. Kenyatta preferred his Gatundu home and important cabinet meetings were even held there. Like the crisis meeting that planned Tom Mboya’s funeral shortly after his assassination in July 1969.

President Moi would also always retire to Kabarnet gardens off Ngong road at the end of hard day of work at State House Nairobi.

So as he starts his second and final term, it is work as usual for the aging president whose slogan Kazi inedelee lifted him to victory. And even at this early juncture of the second Kibaki administration, it is not too difficult to guess what should be expected.

Read more

The 5 most popular stories in Kumekucha today

1. Was that really Raila Odinga on NTV?

2. Missed opportunity by PNU to bury ODM

3. Big fat Kenyan politicians: They just don't get it do they?

4. Kenyan couple trying to shut down Kumekucha

5. Why Kumekucha is glad to belong to the lower class.

Statement From Marianne Briner Concerning Kenya Betrayed Controversy

I am writing today to XLibris and inform them about the fact that I never agreed that the contract with them was cancelled - and I will also tell them that Sam has cheated me for the royalties ......I will also ask them to give me the exact numbers of copies they have delivered - including the socalled author's copies which Sam has then sold directly.

I told you yesterday that he is now throwing the Shining Star into the market for $ 5.99 via Amazon etc. - taking into consideration that companies like Amazon are getting between 50 - 60 % commission - this reduces the price for which Sahel Publishers are giving the book to them to $ 2.50 - 3,00 - deducting the printing costs, there is not much left ....... so Sam would not have to pay me - even if he would still make 1 $ per book he would have to pay me 50 cents ....... or nothing ..........

Some people may call this clever - I simply call it criminal cheating - because he is offering his other books for 21.00 $ - books which are just simple cheap love stories without any impact .........

If Sahel Books claims now to have the copyright on the Shining Star - this is not correct: the Copyright is registered separate in my name and in Sam's name - this makes us both independent owners - the agreement I had signed says that we decide 'mutually and also share the royalties' ....... this agreement is not valid anymore since they have cancelled it when they unilateral took the book away from XLibris and started selling it under their own name without my approval ...... besides the fact that they kept all the royalties from day one ...... so if they reserve the right to continue publishing the Shining Star, I can also publish Kenya Betrayed which as you rightly stated, is my own story told in my own words in an uncensored way contrary to the Shining Star which was - on Sam's insistence - as a fiction using false names and also changing details and leaving out information which could 'endanger' his return to Kenya .....

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Ask What You Can Do For Your Country


What's in a name?The guards at Guardian Bank Kisumu literally lived up to both the name of their bank and title of their job description when they apprehended an obviously disgruntled employee who attempted to walk out of his employers with Ksh 10 million out of Ksh 14.75 million
When asked why he stole the money and what he had planned to do with it had he not been caught, the dishonest former worker replied that he had been on his way to Safari Park Hotel (see Taabu's post below for more detail)

One Vote for Ksh 1 Million



Finally the 1 million a plate lunch came to pass at Safari Park Hotel this afternoon. While it is a practice the world over to raise campaign funds, one is left wondering who is fooling whom when Isaiah Kabira categorically denies the same.

According to Bw Kabira you need to pay Ksh. 1 million upfront to attend the launch of President Kibaki's campaign website. Even the goof-prone Mutua can spin better than that.

Meanwhile Kenyans continues to threaten Brazil for the number one global trophy for the most unequal country.

Dead English Football Finally Buried, Coach Fired


The charade that has become English football ended in tears last night when they were sensationally beaten at home by Croatia 3-2. And domino effect of that painful show has seen manager Steve McClaren fired this morning.

Poor Steve, he must have seen it coming after gambling with his neck already well laid on the chopping block well before the whistle. By optin for green horn keeper Carson instead of experience (albeit off form) Robinson, McClaren paid the ultimate price.

And the Aston Villa goal keeper Carson did nothing to prove a point besides helping the Croatians score in the 8th minute. By halftime England was down 2-0. It couldn't get any gloomier for the proud English.

Boos and jeers at the breather saw him bring in Beckham whose experience salvaged the game albeit temporarily. You never dodge the noose three times. England only needed a draw to qualify. After loosing to the Russians in Moscow early this month they were as good as down and out.

But then Israel gave them a lifeline last Saturday by beating the Russians 2-1 in Telaviv. England now had the opportunity once again even to top the group if they were to beat Croatia 2-0. Lakini wapi. Pride comes before a fall and since missing out in the 1994 world cup in the US they have to wait to see if they will qualify for 2010 world cup in South Africa.

The saving grace in this misplaced pride is the fact that at least out there people take repsonsibility for their failure unlike ours where shame is a word left to rot in the dictionary.

Bookies and pundits are already rooting for Jose Mourinho to take England places. But whether Jose's strong character will be compatible with obtuse English pride that borders on arrogance, only time will tell.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Was That Really Raila Odinga On NTV Spotlight?



Supporters of ODM presidential candidate Raila Odinga are still in shock after watching a man who appeared to be the candidate being interviewed on the popular NTV “On The Spot” TV show yesterday.

The man stammered, looked tired and almost withdrawn and was a far cry from the usual Raila Odinga that Kenyans have gotten used to.

Further enquiries by this blogger revealed that the NTV performance was not the only time that supporters of the man have gotten worried. In an address to ODM supporters in South Africa a few weeks ago, a source tells me that those who attended the meeting were surprised and disappointed that the man just repeated himself and did not say anything new or relevant to the particular function.

Clearly all is not well with the ODM presidential candidate.

One theory puts it down to the extreme pressure the presidential candidate has been putting himself under in recent times. Kenyans have seen Raila arrive from an overseas trip during the day, only to realize during the 9 pm TV new bulletin that he also made it to a political rally in some far flung area of the country. It seems that this kind of pressure is finally taking its’ toll on the presidential candidate. Experts advice that he should be careful to take enough rest and to limit his public engagements from now on.

Interestingly the Nation On the Spot series to discuss the various party manifestos are being held in the residence of the candidates and...

Read more

5 Most Popular Stories in Kumekucha today- Nov 21st

1. Why Kumekucha is glad to belong to the lower class

2. Big fat Kenyan politicians: They just don't get it, do they?

3. Herdsman kills lion but dies in the hands of hyenas

4. Missed opportunity by PNU to bury ODM

5. ODM ad that no Kenyan media house will touch

Kenyan Couple Trying To Shut Down Kumekucha

It seems that the enemies of Kumekucha will not rest and now, if a Kenyan couple living in the United States have their way, Kumekucha your beloved blog could soon be no more.

Sam Okello and his wife, Hellen have already successfully shut down 3 blogs belonging to Marianne Briner. Now they have filed a serious legal complaint against Kumekucha whom they accuse of carrying copyrighted material in the Kenya Betrayed serialization that we have been posting here. The couple is claiming that the Kenya Betrayed script was penned by them and has filed a complaint under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, leaving Google with no alternative but to disable the affected pages. If the complaints from the Okellos persist, there is a high chance that Kumekucha could be shut down for good.


I agonized long and hard whether or not to carry this photo. In the end I decided that it is best that there is no mistake over the identity of those being used to try and fix Kumekucha-the people's blog. Sam Okello is seated and his wife Hellen is standing. Just the way it is in the Sahel Publishing board.

The motive of the couple and especially Hellen Okello who makes all the major decisions in the couple’s publishing venture Sahel publishing, is not clear. To start with Kenya Betrayed is clearly written in the English with strong German connotation that quite obviously belongs to Marianne Briner (as anybody can tell from her numerous writings online). Briner is the same copyright owner of another similar work called A Shining Star In Darkness. She simply hired Sam Okello as her ghost writer for the earlier book detailing her experiences with the high and mighty in Kenya. Obviously the Okellos have no chance of winning this case in any court on earth because of a number of very obvious reasons including the fact that even if there was a dispute over A Shining Star In Darkness Kenya Betrayed is a totally new work penned by Brinner herself, using real names and including totally new sizzling material which Sam Okello was too frightened to use in his earlier ghost-written version of the events that used fictional names, A Shining Star In Darkness.

Still one does not need to be a rocket scientist to figure out where the Okello’s real power and motivation could be coming from. Most of those mentioned in Kenya Betrayed are very powerful politicians in Kenya and are extremely upset that a lot of the information in the book is now in the public domain. More so when the person telling the story is extremely credible based on her past involvement with the characters. And to make matters worse, all this is happening during an election year when these people have such a huge stake pegged on the outcome. The characters in question featured prominently in the infamous Kroll report and have huge sums of stolen public money stashed away in Swiss accounts and elsewhere and obviously have no qualms spending some of it in legal circuses that could drag on for years to come while Kenyans are kept in the dark about the true character of those who have led them in the past as well as injustices that have taken place in Kenya.

Sam Okello has repeatedly indicated interest in returning to Kenya to stand for the presidency in the near future. He has been hoping that the popularity of his books will push him into public prominence to enable him launch his political career. Now it seems that he may also have figured out a way to raise funds for his future political campaigns at the expense of the same Kenyan people he hopes will elect him to State House one day.

Further investigations by this blogger has revealed other bizarre activities the Okellos have been involved in while in the United States which make fascinating reading and give a glimpse into the kind of characters we are dealing with here. I am in the process of verifying and getting further concrete and water tight proof of this and when I do I will publish all the juicy details here in the days to come.

Let me say at this juncture that I did not start Kumekucha with my personal needs in mind, rather this blog is a labour of love for the millions of voiceless downtrodden Kenyans who continue to be short-changed by the political class. I continue to make great sacrifices (financial and even on my personal security) to keep this blog going. If it was for personal gain then I would have already been a very wealthy man. Hundreds of thousands of Kenyans scattered all over the world have sensed this motivation in the posts they read here and it is the reason why they have given this infant blog so much support, so suddenly.

And that’s why I will fight this latest threat with everything that I have.

I beg for your support.


5 Most Popular Stories in Kumekucha today- Nov 21st

1. Why Kumekucha is glad to belong to the lower class

2. Big fat Kenyan politicians: They just don't get it, do they?

3. Herdsman kills lion but dies in the hands of hyenas

4. Missed opportunity by PNU to bury ODM

5. ODM ad that no Kenyan media house will touch

Herdsman Kills Lion, Killed by Hyenas



That a Samburu herdsman has been killed by a pack of predating hyenas just after killing a lion with bear hands reflects the contradictory phenomenon of life. 35 year old Moses Lekalau fought off an attacking lion for 30 minutes and succeeded in killing the beast only to be attacked by cowardly hyenas who must have sensed the vulnerability of exhausted Lekalau.


Despite a motorist rescuing Lekalau from the jaws of the death (hyenas), the poor chap died after 7 hours on the operating table in Nairobi where he was transferred from excessive loss of blood.

That is just one life too many. If only we would value human life like the money tourists bring. But that is asking for too much because there are Kenyans and others. Life can be be so CRUEL sometimes.

What a strange twist and paradox life is. You fight gallantly for 30 minutes spearing and bludgeoning a lion to death. only to lose the very life you were saving to lesser selfish predators. Lekalau's death is akin to stopping a bullet dead on its track only to succumb to a scratch from a needle.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Kenyan Mouths for Rent to the Highest Bidders



Trust ingenious Kenyans to smell monetary opportunities miles away. In attempt to beat politicians in their own game creative Kenyans have formed organized heckling clubs for hire.

The mouths for hire couldn't have come at an appropriate time given the soaring political temperatures. After the preamble in the fiasco that was nominations, trust our scoundrels to take the game a notch higher by perfecting dirty tricks. At the coast the hecklers are ready with drums and trumpets at the right fee.

Before you dismiss them just take an honest look at most Kenyans and see the negligible difference between their form of clothed (elite) political scare mongering and these rag tag goons. It takes no nuclear physicist to see what these goons will graduate to when need arises as December 27 beckons. Brace yourself for interesting and trying moments these coming 4 weeks.

The selfish opening between the chin and the nose has never been put to a better use. No wonder all other part of the body belongs to the mouth. "Don't step on my toes", as if the lower limbs belong to the mouth! Na bado.

Big Fat Kenyan Politicians: They Just Don’t Get It, Do They?




Although none of them will admit it, all major political parties are in a crisis of sorts after the recent fiasco that some of them are calling party nominations.

What everybody is missing is the reason for the crisis in the first place. Before I go into that it is important for Kenyans to note that this is not a petty issue that can just be brushed aside. After all these are the same politicians promising us all sorts of goodies and the word “change” which we all crave for is on all their lips. But we need to ask ourselves a simple question. If these guys were not able to foresee the nomination crisis that was so obvious and forestall it, how the hell do we expect them to lead us with the increasing problems that we are facing as a nation? Chew on that one.

The reasons for the current nomination crisis include the following;

i) Contempt of voters by leaders of political parties and especially presidential candidates who do not want to respect the will of the people. Don’t even dare mention the word democracy.

ii) A determination by incumbent MPs to hang on to their political seats at all costs. The huge sums of money they have fleeced from tax payers in the last 5 years has blinded them to believing that they can fool the people and get back to parliament. These guys will do anything and I mean anything. Including murder, violence rigging, cheating bribing, witchcraft etc. These guys who have been a major thorn in the flesh to Kenyans over the last 5 years will not go quietly and are still a major pain (you know where) even as we go to the polls.

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The 5 most popular stories on Kumekucha today-20th Nov

Why Kumekucha Is Glad To Belong To The Lower Class

I take this opportunity to humbly thank all of you who came out in my defense over the recent venomous comment left in this blog by somebody whom I believe is an old school mate whom I know very well. I am only puzzled at their possible motives in leaving the comment which most of you hit out at.

To be honest I am shocked that some Kenyans still think in terms of the class they belong to. However I am delighted to discover that I belong to the lower class. No wonder I seem to understand the masses so well.

I am very touched by your strong support and faith in me. Let me also say that I am following to the letter, the excellent advice given to me by most of you that I simply ignore the “sour grapes” and continue with my work, which many of you seem to appreciate. Ahsante sana.

So the aim of this post is not to go back to where I have said I will not go. It is to highlight an interesting truth that has emerged from the whole incident.

The main point I want to draw Kenyans attention to is...

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Party Nominations: Old Tricks Fail To Work




The old tricks that worked like a gem during the 2002 party nominations have this time failed to work.

Let me explain. In 2002 the Summit as it was then called made unilateral decisions and over-ruled the voters concerning various candidates who had lost party nominations countrywide and instead ended up handing over the precious nomination certificate to many losers. Many folks did not even know what the real nomination outcome had been in many areas of the country.

This time round things were very different. Voters have just said “No” and have complained bitterly. Using technological gadgets like the mobile phone and instant messaging online, as well as email, most Kenyans were very well informed on what was going on on the ground. What most people noticed was that those who had emerged as winners on the ground were often the losers when party headquarters released the names of nominated candidates to the press.

In some areas voters have been very incensed by what they see as a deliberate effort to impose candidates on them. Impeccable sources from the ground tell me that a significant number of voters in Kisumu rural have vowed not to vote in the general elections as a way of protesting the direct nomination of Prof Anyang Nyong. While these threats may quickly be forgotten when the campaign gets under way, it is clear...

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The 5 most popular stories in Kumekucha today 19th Nov

The Making Of A Nation: Strengths And Weaknesses Of Nation Historical Series

There is no doubt that the historical documentary The Making Of A Nation is a high quality timely project that is pulling in huge audiences across the world (because NTV is available on the web).

After the first two episodes on Sunday and today (Monday) at 9:45pm, we will have to wait until next Sunday for the next riveting episode.

The writer and director of the documentary, Hilary Ng’weno is a nuclear physicist turned journalist who was the first African Editor in Chief of the Daily Nation in the early 60s. The kind of man who not only understands Kenya’s history but unlike Kumekucha was actually around practicing as a journalist as the events were unfolding.

This strength comes out very clearly in his coverage of events shortly after independence where today the documentary dwelt at length with the effect that instability in neighboring countries had on President Kenyatta and most notably in hardening his resolve to fully control the military and key security forces by appointing mostly trusted members of his own tribe...

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The 5 most popular stories in Kumekucha today 19th Nov

The End of English Empire is Here

In the global arena of language wars, the English dialect has been dealt a severe blow albeit cleverly. In 5 years time the formal English spoken will be nowhere near what we know it presently. Forget about the Queen's English, the language in its bare facts will be history.

To stem the competition between the Germans and Britons, the European Commission has silently but skillfully sounded a death knell for the English language by announcing that English will be the official language of the European Union. Germans are red with fury after narrowly missed out.

But there is no free lunch as the Brits had to pay a price is concessions. During negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

From January 2011, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make European sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

By Januarry 2013, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und after zis fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German; lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Coffee Anyone?


Sasini tea and coffee company of the Sameer family group of companies founded by successful tycoon and business entrepreneur Naushad Merali is launching a bold and daring venture into not just the less crowded but nascent competitive local market but also the more crowded and equally competitive big boy league international beverage consumption market with the launch of its inaugral Kenyan branded Savannah coffee lounges in Nairobi first, followed by Dubai and London
And they are not thinking microscopic either-according to none other than the son of Merali himself who is one of the directors of the Kenyan company, by this foray the company is signalling its global intention to market brand Kenya to the rest of the world
hear him speak "we do not have to sell Kenya abroad; the problem is that Kenyans are not taking advantage of the existing awareness and goodwill about Kenyan produce"
I hold no brief for Merali or his Sameer group of companies but what a fresh change of direction displayed in straight thinking by a company that like many many other Kenyan businesses both well established and emerging are now beginning to move away from old school thinking that an investor is anyone foreign with skin colour to match and increasingly beginning to realize we can't market Kenya to anyone if we at home fail to be attracted by the quality of the made in Kenya brand
Its true that for many years, lack of inspiring political direction made us consider both ourselves and our country as a brand unable to equal international standards in quality and rank; it seems we build better roads only when the people for whom they are being built promise to come from across the Atlantic to throw some scraps of employment our way. Otherwise what need does Onyango or Wambui have for thousands of square kilometres of paved and tarmacked asphalt on the highway?
Even more than politics, we badly require an attitude change amongst us so that our thinking will come in line with national (not ethnic) values and not revert back to revelling in nostalgia and gaining fame and notoriety for all the wrong shameful reasons-corruption, tribalism, comical political leadership and the stigma attached to all of these deadly sins. There is a lesson hidden somewhere there for our politicians and the new administration of Government come 2008. new thinking, new direction, no excuses
I wish Savannah coffee lounges all the best success in marketing brand Kenya-look out for a local Savannah lounge coming to a city near you
Kenya iendelee mbele!

IT'S INTEGRITY NOT THE ECONOMY STUPID

Lady Luck Smiles to Save England's Head



That the English team had to pray for an Israel win over Russia to keep their qualification of Euro 2008 alive is a contradiction in large proportion. And lady luck surely smiled on their face with Israel pulling a surprise 2-1 win to sink the Russians yesterday.

Looking up to the gods to gain qualification for next year's European Premier football bonanza betrayed the lack of quality in English players despite the boom and publicity generated by the Premier League. Take out the foreign players and the English football will be left yawning for any spark.

One would mistake the strong 4000 (proud) English supporters cheering Israel in Tel-a-Viv for some Jews from West Bank or Jerusalem. So it appears even the obtuse pride can be auctioned at the right price.

Pride on auction
Football spares no room for pride. Team England has been full of of contempt assuming that their qualification was as good as guaranteed given the 'weak' opponents in their group. But alas! Croatia is heading the group and already qualified. They also appear to have been inflicted with that misplaced pride if losing 2-0 to the unrated Macedonia yesterday is anything to go by.

Not that England are out of the woods yet. They have to at least draw with Croatia on Wednesday at Wembley. And with their over-rated stars missing with injuries anything can happen and the Russians must be holding vigil in their churches. Joining Rooney is the football 'wards' is Michael Owen. That leaves Peter Crouch to lead the onslaught upfront.

Owen's injury is definitely England' self-inflicted malady. Knowing very well that the striker is always an accident waiting to happen, Steve MacClaren goofed large scale in taxing his charges against the colourless and useless fixture with Austria.

Add to that loss of form from the aging Beckham and you get a pack of 11 donning 3 lions with St. George's flag chasing a piece of leather bereft of any entertainment nor quality to match the media hype.

Punishing bullies
It may not be wild to imagine that nature is teaching lessons to bully boys on both sides of the Atlantic. What with the the land of opportunity losing its sheen and influence in the global arena in terms of FREEDOM (after 9/11) and innovation? Just look at all the major technological breakthrough always emerging from Seoul.

It may either be crunch time and a time for re-evaluation of values and pride or just mother nature is simply paying the big boys (bullies) in their own coin.

A Missed Opportunity By PNU To Bury ODM





There is no doubt that the popularity of ODM and Raila Odinga has slipped significantly over the last few weeks. One of the reasons for this has been what started out clearly as mere propaganda over the Internet to the effect that Raila had signed a secret MOU with Muslim leaders in Kenya to introduce Sharia law into the Coast and North Eastern province Jimbos shortly after the introduction of the majimbo system of governance as proposed by ODM.

It was a ridiculous claim that many readers here quite rightly dismissed. However, one thing led to another and very soon Raila found himself under considerable pressure to reveal the details of his alleged MOU with the Muslims. He actually put more pressure on himself than was necessary by initially denying the existence of any such agreement. He later changed his mind and admitted that an agreement of sorts had been reached between himself and the Muslims, Coming so soon after the famous Kadhi courts battle in the proposed Bomas draft between Christians and Muslims in Kenya, the issue has caused considerable anxiety amongst Christians all over the country and this has without doubt considerably reduced the momentum in the Raila presidential campaign. Several polls have clearly shown his popularity slipping.

It is quite likely that the hiring of the controversial Dick Morris (a gifted but controversial pollster who former President Clinton talks of very highly of in his biography—My Life.) was one of the measures taken by Raila’s handlers to try and reverse the situation. It really isn’t a crisis yet but in politics...

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New Must-See Series On NTV




Since it is quite clear that most of my dear readers here were terrorized so much by their history teachers that the mere mention of the word “history” triggers a fit and causes them to start foaming in the mouth re-living a terrible horror movie, I believe that the new series on NTV on the political history of Kenya may prove very useful. The documentary is titled aptly; The making of a nation.

Documentaries are certainly much easier to take in than large volumes of books like the several hundred pages of Tom Mboya: The Man Kenya Wanted To Forget that I usually recommend for anybody who wants to understand Kenyan politics.

The series which seems to have been done by Hilary Ngweno (of the defunct Weekly Review fame) starts tonight at 9:45 pm (Kenyan time) and will be shown on Sundays and Mondays.

It pleases my heart that so many Kenyans based all over the world will now get to learn a little more about our country’s history since NTV is now available on the web. The truth is that you can’t really discuss the present and future without a pretty good understanding of the past.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Angry Voters Fell Giants In Chaotic Party Nominations



As we said months ago, most politicians will in the forthcoming elections be faced by a phenomenon never before experienced in Kenyan politics—namely that of very angry voters.

Kenyan voters are mostly very angry at legislators in the 9th parliament and are determined to teach them a lesson by voting most of them out.

If the party nominations are anything to go by then, it will be a lot uglier than even we had envisaged. Sample some of the giants who have already fallen in party nominations so far;

- David Mwenje lost the PNU nomination in Embakasi
- Norman Nyagah lost the PNU nomination in Kamukunji (hardly surprising).
- Chris Murungaru lost the PNU nomination in Kieni (big shock for the once powerful minister and still a close Kibaki ally).
- Nobel peace prize laureate, Wangari Maathai lost her bid for the PNU ticket in Tetu
- Matere Keriri (aka Dawa ya Lucy) and Joseph Kamotho also lost PNU nominations in their respective constituencies.
- John Koech the cabinet minister who defected from Kanu to ODM has, as expected lost his bid for the ODM ticket in Chepalungu.

The big surprise, at least for this blogger is Otieno “Mapambano choir master” Kajwang’s surprise win in Mbita in the face of very stiff competition. Still I have this feeling that most of the losers will have something to say.

The 5 Most Popular stories in Kumekucha today-17th Nov

1. Kumekucha's old schoolmate mounts scathing attack against him

2. What impact will Kenneth Matiba's entry into Presidential race have?

3. ODM adverts that Kenyan media will not touch

4. Regular violent wife rape by dutiful husband

5. True Kenyan story of rape nightmare in Matatu