Count down to general elections jokes;
Emilio’s grand son asked his grand-dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time...?" Emilio replied, "No. Some begin with 'After I'm elected..."
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If Moi’s grandchild asked him to tell him a tale, he would reply: “When I was the president of Kenya, I created overnight millionaires, killed more companies than I created; caused the tribal clashes, killed tourism, sacked George Saitoti, re-employed him on a Saturday afternoon in a roadside announcement in Kiambu,; built roads that were never used; started the Turkwell Gorge Project, killed KPTC; Killed Kenya Railways, killed Kenya Meat Commission, and many more
ReplyDeleteI brought Nyayo Team Zone, Nyayo National Stadium, Moi Primary school, Moi Teachers college, Moi Sports Complex, Nyayo Motor Corporation, Nyayo Bus, and many others. I cannot count. I even brought Nyayo Forest.
“My Grandson,” he would continue, “a cabinet minister called Robert Ouko disappeared, and they blamed my government for it. I tried to tell them it was suicide, they did not believe me, and I told them that he tried burning himself, he even cut his limbs, but they never listened”
“You know as the elderly Moi could says, “I tried to tell people that there is something called Nyayo philosophy and a legacy that they should have followed Nyayoism but they wanted to hear none of that. Later, they tried to over throw me. I detained them and even hang some of them. Thereafter, they wanted many parties in the country. What for? Everybody was supporting me. Even my vice-president called Emilio said that they could not kill the party that brought us independence and told them that it was like cutting a mugumo tree using a razor blade.
“I tell you what; I had a parrot called Kamotho. He always told them that Kanu ni baba na mama but they never listened to him. Then being a kind man, I allowed some young boys to start a project called YK92. They were all rich and then country had more millionaires than our neighbours. Then the World Bank and IMF felt jealous about it and suspended aid to pout country. My grandson, they are not good people. They told us to start many parties and Jaramogi Oginga Odinga, yes; his son is called Raila, told me to repeal section 2A.
“But I was very generous to all tribes, and the best way to rule them was to divide them. I created Koibatek district, Elgeyo Marakwet, Teso, Kuria and all people could sing for me where I went children your age sang ‘Tawala Kenya Tawala, others sang and told me Hata Ndege wa angani wainaimba sifa zako. At times I was annoyed and told the vinyangarikas to stop payukaring
“Then all people ran away from me after I told them that I wanted Jomo’s son to be the president. They said that I was imposing a president on them. But they forgot that Jomo, yes, Uhuru’s father gave me the seat. But Emilio, Jimmy’s father never listened. After all he did, he forgot that they sat under a mugumo tree and said that it shall not cross River Chania. Now he is having problems everyday. I don’t know whether it is because of the agreement.
I do tell them about Mungiki but they dont want to litsen. Odinga told them that Moi is like a giraffe and he sees far. I told them that tribalism will finish Kenya and now they are always fighting. Grandson, its bedtime now. Another story tomorrow night”