Safaricom Fires Over 15 Senior Managers

It is interesting that even as many Kenyans cry out for change and criticize our politicians for conflict of interest in serving the public, younger Kenyans are doing exactly what our political dinosaurs are doing out there in the private sector.

Now leading mobile phone operator, Safaricom is known for having very strict company policies and employees are made aware that breaking some of the critical ones will lead to summary dismissal, no warnings. Still this did not hinder some managers from recently getting involved in very questionable dealings and using their positions in the company for personal profit. More so during the company’s recent IPO.

Insiders have informed this writer that some managers were found with double digit millions in their accounts shortly before the close of the IPO. Further investigations linked the huge sums of money to the purchase of extra shares in partnership with Safaricom dealers and other individuals which was clearly the kind of conflict of interest situation the company is against but sadly the kind of thing many Kenyans would see no wrong in doing (kwani amekula mbuzi ya nani?).

It is instructive that at the beginning of the IPO, Safaricom had told employees that they were free to purchase as many shares as they wished, but this rule was later hurriedly changed. The new rule stated that employees could only purchase shares worth a maximum of their annual gross salaries. Obviously what still happened is what the company feared and was trying to avoid. That is a situation where senior employees would gang up with dealers and other people who regularly deal with the company to apply for more shares than they would otherwise have gotten.

To make matters worse, many of them had been rubbing their hands in glee waiting for the shares to rapidly climb in value and give them quick overnight profits. As predicted in this blog in my numerous warnings to the public not to purchase the shares for various reasons, prices have been on a consistent downward spiral since they first traded on the Nairobi bourse (read an expert analysis of future projections concerning Safaricom shares.) So the poor Kenyans who were overtaken by greed, not only failed to make a killing but are now jobless in a market where finding a job is no easy task.

Other managers who were fired were found to have links with some of the company’s suppliers with a few even being shareholders. Yet another clear conflict of interest situation. But in the minds of many Kenyans this is seeing and grabbing an entrepreneurial opportunity.

According to my information the company plans to fire more managers as soon as the evidence against them is verified in the coming weeks.

P.S.: What is in this week’s raw notes (aiii, wacha tu)!! In fact I cannot dare mention it in this public forum. That’s how HOT it is. No kidding!! However you can get a FREE sneak preview of this red hot saga from my weekly Kumekucha Confidential. Email Me right away for it. It’s FREE kabisa.

Kalenjin Secrets: While Kenyans Slept And Ignored The Guys Who Speak English With A Heavy Accent…

There was a superb movie released last year simply called 300. It highlighted the brilliance of the ancient Spartans in war and the military training that was their way of life from a very tender age.

There are interesting similarities between the Spartans and the Nandi. For example in the culture of the Nandi so severe were the circumcision rites initiation programs that they often claimed casualties and only about half of those who went for it returned alive. Then also when the Nandi were not at war they would hold violent competitions amongst themselves where combatants frequently fought to the death.

Therefore it is hardly surprising that by the end of the 19^th century the Nandi were the dominant community in the Rift Valley having replaced the dreaded Uasin Gishu Masai

But let us stay focused on our area of interest for now which was the battle with the British. Kimnyole is the name of the Nandi leader (Orkoiyot) who is best remembered for the amazing prophecies that he made one of which he died for. He clearly predicted the coming of the “devils” who would subdue the Nandi community and rule them. The Nandis recognized the British as the “devils” that Kimnyole predicted would rule them and fought them vigorously in a vain effort to ensure that the prophecy would not come to pass.

Kimnyole was stoned to death on suspicions that he had caused famine in the land. However the real reason was that his prophecy on the Nandi being subdued upset powerful tribal elders. But before he was executed he summoned his sons and made them promise him that they would never accept any positions of leadership amongst the community. One of his sons, Koitalel Samoei, did not keep that promise and is today considered the greatest leader and Orkoiyot that the Nandi ever had. Interestingly it is widely believed that current agriculture minister William Samoei Ruto is a direct descendant of the great Nandi military strategist and leader, hence the great respect the community has for young Ruto. It will be remembered that when things threatened to get out of hand at the funeral of the late assistant minister in home affairs, Lorna Laboso, a few weeks ago it was Ruto who managed to cool down the aggravated crowd.

The Brits were known to easily subdue any tribes that resisted them by invading their villages and burning down crops and everything else thus starving the survivors into submission. So how were the Nandi able to survive this? This is an interesting question because it brings out the extremely crafty nature of the Nandi. Even before the Railway came, the sparsely populated community had defeated other fierce and much larger tribes like the Masai, the Luhya and the Kisii. They thwarted the colonialists by hiding their cows amongst those of the Kispsigis, so even when their crops were burnt down, they were still able to survive because of their herds.

This is an appropriate place to tell yet another tale involving the Luo and their great hero Luanda Magere, that clearly illustrates the craftiness of the Nandi. It is said that long before the colonialists arrived, the Luo were easily able to subdue the Nandi using their great warrior whom it is said possessed such great magical powers that a spear could not penetrate his skin.

The Nandi hurriedly called for a truce and held a beauty contest in the land to choose the most beautiful young girl who was given to the great Luo warrior and leader as a gift to cement the peace between the two communities. Luanda was delighted at this “gift” because it is said that the young girl Kalenjin girl was a real stunner. And like most present day Luos who are said to have a “weakness” where women are concerned, he saw no danger at all in having a wife from the fold of his enemies.

Peace reigned between the two communities for sometime until one day the great warrior got sick and he gave instructions to his youngest wife as to what needed to be done. It involved cutting his shadow with a razor to draw blood, which she did and Luanda recovered. Shortly after that incident she asked her husband for permission to visit her parents which she had no problem obtaining being such a dazzling beauty who charmed the fierce warrior immensely. She was sent with many gifts and on arriving narrated what had happened when Magere had fallen sick. The Nandi promptly declared war on the Luo and somebody speared the shadow of Luanda Magere, killing him and winning the battle for the Nandi.

There are many Kenyans who do not attach much importance to such tales. Some of them made the grave mistake of greatly underestimating the intelligence and craftiness of former president Daniel arap Moi. It is common amongst western powers to assume that Africans who can speak English well are intelligent and those who can’t are idiots. This kind of thinking has rapidly spread amongst Kenyans and is one of the reasons why Moi was able to rule the country unchallenged for 24 long years. The truth is that many of his enemies always greatly underestimated him.

In the same way Kenyans have for many years taken the Kalenjin for granted assuming that because they cannot speak flawless English too well and always have a heavy accent, they are not really that intelligent.

So it is hardly surprising that as the intelligence community was sound asleep and as other Kenyans focused their attention on stone throwers in the Kibera slums and elsewhere a disaster of unprecedented proportions was unfolding in Rift Valley.

N.B. In my previous post I erroneously indicated that the Nandi had the highest population amongst Kalenjins. As one of our readers quite rightly pointed out this is NOT true. The Kipsigis were in fact the most populous tribe. Indeed this tends to highlight the amazing military success of the Nandi since they were so few and yet so successful and influential in the entire Kalenjin community.

Kalenjin Secrets Part 3

P.S.: What is in this week’s raw notes (aiii, wacha tu)!! In fact I cannot dare mention it in this public forum. That’s how HOT it is. No kidding!! However you can get a FREE sneak preview of this red hot saga from my weekly Kumekucha Confidential. Email Me right away for it. It’s FREE kabisa.

Kalenjin Secrets

As a young child in Kakamega in the late 60s I remember my Kalenjin playmates fairly vividly (including the son of a very famous Kalenjin family). Very cheerful folks, these guys, with hearts of gold. Extremely generous too. Much later in life I retained this image of the community that produced the second president of Kenya.

Indeed in the 1980s when there was a serious food crisis in the country I was able to visibly see this generosity in action as a very well known Kalenjin man who used to be in the police would deliver bales of maize flour to my father’s office regularly and stubbornly refuse any form of payment for it. Pelekea watoto chakula mzee na uwache hio upuzi ya pesa,(take food to the children and forget that nonsense of wanting to pay for it) he would say. That good man (and also very corrupt) is now 6-feet under.

But something happened in January 2008 that Kenyans are yet to understand. Indeed it has been puzzling this writer for months on end why a community I thought I knew so well suddenly turned into animals.

Regular readers of this site will already know that I am a firm believer of going back in history to understand stuff.

For instance, next time you see a hopeless drunk wasting his life away on the bottle shortly before you dismiss them, remember that they have a history. Human beings do not behave the way they do without reason. Delve into his background a little and chances are that you will discover a very sad story that may just make you a wee bit more sympathetic. In fact next time you see that hopeless drunk bear in mind that you are seeing Kumekucha himself as he was a while back. (And a serious womanizer to boot. But that is a story I will probably never tell in detail because I am so ashamed of that part of my life.)

Anyway I have done just a little digging into Kalenjin history and their past and what I have discovered has shocked me to the core of my bones. The information you are about to read proves that what happened in the Rift Valley was almost inevitable and more alarming still is the other conclusion I came to. Namely that this is a time bomb that is bound to explode again and again, if Kenyans (including the intelligence community) don’t wake up.

For starters it is important to note that there is no such tribe as the Kalenjin, just like there is no tribe called Luhya that exists. Both are mainly terms used to cluster together numerous similar tribes under one umbrella for administrative or political reasons.

Having said that, the largest and most influential tribe within the Kalenjin community are the Nandi, their influence within the entire Kalenjin community has been so immense that they have literally overshadowed almost into oblivion other smaller tribes within the same community like the Turgen (retired President Moi is a Turgen).

During the building of the Kenya-Uganda Railway in the late 1800s (interestingly this railway line has also been in the news a lot lately with the so-called “foreign” investors that own Rift Valley Railways clearly in very serious financial straits) there is a part of history that the British have been careful to hide and not talk too much about. It is only recently that scanty information has begun to emerge. I suspect the reason is because of sheer embarrassment more than anything else. Embarrassment that the mighty British empire of the time that literally ruled the world could actually be brought down to its’ knees by a tiny group of savages numbering no more than 40,000. Those “savages” as the British liked to call them, were the Nandi community.

It amazes me immensely that the Nandi managed to resist the British, not for a few months or even a year or two. This tiny group of “savages” who had obviously never gone to school for even one day managed to resist the British for 11 LONG YEARS!!!

Think about that for a moment. 11 years!! In fact the Brits finally had to make peace with the Nandi and it is only during that brief truce that they were able to complete the railway line.

The mighty colonialists had guns and canons, the Nandis only had bows and arrows but so terrified did the British become of the Nandi that at one time they brought into the country two armored railway wagons as they carried out their final assault against the Nandi. Now why would one need armored wagons to defend themselves against some primitive tribe with only bows and arrows, you must be asking? Why bring in bullet-proof armored wagons?

When you begin to understand the answer to that question you will fully grasp the events of January this year and the reason why Safaricom’s Michael Joseph told the Economist magazine recently that he believes that at the time the Kofi Anan peace deal was finally signed, the country was barely 2 weeks away from shutting down. Probably forever.

It is instructive that one of the clips that amazingly made it into national TV in Kenya at the height of the post election violence showed security personnel firing off camera. There were two groups. One group was wearing red berets and was firing while lying flat on the ground. The other group was standing and was firing almost non-stop. Their attire told you immediately that those were the Kenya army and the less courageous folks on the ground were the Police General Service Unit. But who were they exchanging fire with so intensely off camera? Who was the unseen foe, so to speak? I urge your patience because by the end of this weekend you will fully understand the answers to those questions.

But to quickly sum it up for the terribly impatient the truth is that the Nandi are masters of guerilla warfare and you don’t want to mess around with the people who resisted the mighty British for 11 long years. Indeed the culture of the community seems to have remained intact and most of these skills have clearly been passed down the generations as security forces in the country realized too late and were caught completely flat-footed in the recent skirmishes. A lot of effort was expended in Kisumu and Nairobi, shooting to death stone throwers and innocent Kenyans fleeing from the scene, while in the Rift Valley the terror that had terrorized the British barely 100 years earlier was unleashed once again with devastating consequences.

But let us start from the beginning shall we, with the intriguing tale of how the Nandi executed their own leader by stoning him to death. His crime? They suspected that he had used his magical powers to cause a drought in the land. But the real reason was that this Orkoiyot (ruler and spiritual leader of the Nandi) had made a prediction that the Nandi did not want to hear.

As Martha Karua and the duly elected president have discovered in recent times, the Nandi have not changed much since then and you DO NOT tell them what they do NOT want to hear. You just don’t do that.

Oh and the prediction that the Orkoiyot uttered that cost him his life was spot on. He had foretold that the White man (devils as the Nandi called them) would one day subdue and rule over the Nandi. The fierce Nandi could not bear to hear that, so their ruler had to die for saying it. But there is much more fascinating stuff…

Caption: This man was the military genius behind the troubles the Brits suffered in the hands of the Nandi for 11 long years. Some of his devastatingly brilliant offensive tactics were unleashed in the Rift Valley last January. Read his spellbinding story in my next post (click the headline below).

Kalenjin Secrets Part 2

Are you interested in always getting Kumekucha Updates of breaking news and early announcements of upcoming articles in this exciting Kumekucha Weekend Special? Or do you want to read the captivating summary of Tom Mboya's biography? Email Me right away

Gichangi defends NSIS at Waki Commission

Listening to the much anticipated NSIS testimony in the Waki commission by the commissioner general Brig. Michael Gichnagi, I could not help getting the impression that I was listening to a man who felt he was under siege.

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I could not believe my ears when a lot of his testimony came out as a desperate defense of the organization he runs which at the moment Kenyans have very little confidence in. I really wished that I had had an opportunity to cross examine the man, because based on what I know, there were so many holes that could be blown in his testimony.

Most of the testimony from the NSIS was delivered by one of Gichangi’s juniors, actually a very carefully chosen individual for the task. But that is anither story for another day.

The NSIS claims that they had predicted that chaos would break out whoever whether Kibaki or Raila won the elections. It was then further said that one of the scenarios that was considered was ODM going to court to dispute election results (confirming my raw notes story on among other things the advice that Gichangi gave the president that led to 31st December being declared a public holiday, mainly to frustrate the court move. This clearly illustrates how the unit completely mis-read ODM and their intentions.)

Reading between the lines of the testimony, it is clear that the local intelligence community were expecting trouble only from “those Luos”. Indeed this explains the heavy-handedness used in Kisumu (live bullets). I am also reliably informed that some of the protestors in Kenya’s third largest city were drowned in Lake Victoria to keep body count figures “under control.” That is why official figures that claim that only about 1,000 died from post-election skirmishes hurts many Kenyans who lost loved ones.

In sharp contrast in the Rift Valley, where clearly the NSIS did not expect serious problems, security forces were taken totally unawares. Anybody can see that the heavily armed security personnel (Kisumu residents and Hon James Orengo insist that they were Ugnadan soldiers) would have been more justified in the Rift Valley. Fascinatingly, as late as during the Kofi Anan talks, people were still talking about “these Luos” causing trouble. Even when reports indicated that Kalenjin warriors were arming themselves for a major second assault if the talks failed.

Most of all it is quite likely that the so-called NSIS analysts did not have some key information that would have been critical in making quality decisions about the Kalenjin which in my view would have saved hundreds or even thousands of precious Kenyan lives. This ignorance is supported by the odd incident given the go-ahead by PNU top brass handling President Kibaki’s campaign, where hate leaflets were distributed in the Rift Valley warning of a Kalenjin persecution if Raila won the presidency. See a copy of the controversial hate leaflet HERE.

In retrospect that leaflet was laughable and a waste of the considerable government resources that were used to get them printed and distributed. Interestingly some sources have linked government spokesman, Alfred Mutua to the silly idea. Anybody who understands the Nandi and the Kalenjin in general as well as you will after reading My weekend special tomorrow would have known that printing the said leaflets would in fact have the very opposite effect—which is exactly what happened.

Another interesting aspect of the NSIS report to the Waki commission worth noting is their indication that tribal troubles in Kenya were heightened after the 2005 referendum. If this is true then blame falls squarely on the laps of one Emilio Stanley Mwai Kibaki who was told by dozens of desperate delegations to postpone the referendum and let tribal tensions cool first. He stubbornly ignored the calls. It is quite likely that former President Moi in all his thieving ways would have sensed danger and called off the referendum. Kibaki showed the same deadly error of judgment in the games he played in the 2007 general elections thinking that the worst that would happen would be ODM bringing up a court injunction to stop him from being sworn in for a second terms hence the terribly hurried bedroom swearing in.


P.S. Have you noticed that certain commentators have disappeared from this blog since my articles on the NSIS earlier this week? Just wondering if anybody else has noticed it and what it may mean.

P.S. 2: What is in this week’s raw notes (aiii, wacha tu)!! In fact I cannot dare mention it in this public forum. That’s how HOT it is. No kidding!! However you can get a FREE sneak preview of this red hot saga from my weekly Kumekucha Confidential. Email Me right away for it. It’s FREE kabisa.

Shocking Kalenjin Secrets!!

PLUS: New Expanded Kumekucha Launches Tomorrow

I love Fridays as I am sure most of you guys do. But now we both have one additional thing to look forward to this Friday. Tomorrow I launch bold new additional brand new content in your favorite daily political blog, Kumekucha. Look out for exciting articles on love, marriage and relationships as well as fascinating new features covering the struggles of Kenyan small businesses as well as hot innovative tips to help you launch your own small business or to inspire you to dramatically improve your existing one. Don’t miss it.

Also this weekend we continue with our very popular Kumekucha Weekend special series which started last weekend with the police stories. This weekend don’t dare miss; Kalenjin Secrets.

Read what NSIS chief Brig. Michael Gichangi did not know about the Kalenjin last December as he advised Mwai Kibaki to go ahead with the evil plan of cheating Kenyans at the ballot box. Kumekucha unearths shocking details and evidence never published before that proves the Rift Valley is still a ticking time bomb for much more violence. And why this “time bomb” is bound to explode sooner rather than later.

Kalenjin Secrets comes to you starting Saturday morning (Kenyan time).

Are you interested in getting Kumekucha Updates of breaking news and early announcements of upcoming articles? Send an email now to; kumekucha-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

PM Raila Due for State Visit to United Kingdom

Prime Minister Raila Odinga and Justice Minister Martha Karua at the 3rd National Integrity Review Conference at Bomas of Kenya, Nairobi, yesterday.

Prime Minister Raila Odinga is expected to visit United Kingdom beginning this weekend in his maiden official visit to the British Empire since the formation of the Grand Coalition Government.

In what would normally constitute a presidential visit, the PM will be accompanied by a record six cabinet ministers, five from PNU and one from ODM plus at least fifteen senior government officials. The cabinet ministers are; Uhuru Kenyatta (Deputy PM & Minister for Trade- PNU), Kiraitu Murungi (Energy PNU), Mutula Kilonzo(Nairobi Metropolitan - PNU), John Michuki (Environment ag. Finance – PNU), Moses Wetangula (Foreign Affairs - PNU) and finally Najib Balala (Tourism – ODM).

The Kenya Embassy in London has yet to release an official programme and it is not known if the PM will make a stop at No. 10 Downing Street for a meeting with British PM Gordon Brown. The size and composition of the PM’s entourage suggests that a wide range issues will be on agenda of the Kenyans who recently launched the most ambitious development plan since independence dubbed Vision 2030. Britain is a former colonial master and has for a long time been Kenya’s leading trading partner amongst the G8 countries.

On Sunday, the PM is due for a BBC interview where it is expected he will answer to a wide variety of issues affecting Kenya and the African continent in general. Issues touching on governance like constitutional reforms and corruption are expected to feature while Zimbabwe will certainly be a subject of his interview.

PM Odinga has several public lectures lined up including one (already fully booked) lecture at The Royal Institute of International Affairs - Chatham House at St James's Square, where he is expected to talk about Leadership and Democracy in Africa on Tuesday 22 July 2008 at 13h30.
Chatham House, formally known as the Royal Institute of International Affairs, is a non-profit, non-governmental organization based in London whose mission is to analyse and promote the understanding of major international issues and current affairs. It is regarded as the world's leading organization in this area. Read the CHATHAM House Wikipedia entry here.
Chatham House says on its website that it has a mission to be a world-leading source of independent analysis, informed debate and influential ideas on how to build a prosperous and secure world for all.

The Kenya Embassy has organised a reception for Kenyans to be addressed by the PM later on the same day at the Great Cumberland Place's Ocean Room, Cumberland Hotel at 18h30.

Yesterday, the PM extended a public invitation to John Githongo to return to Kenya and it is unknown if the PM will be meeting the former Ethics and Governance Permanent Secretary, now living in self-imposed exile in the UK.

Will The Kibaki Succession Shut Down Kenya?

As we have been saying here in Kumekucha for a long time now, politics in Kenya these days is all about the Kibaki succession and nothing else. Yesterday two things happened that go a long way in confirming this fact.

But even before we go into them we need to ask the most important question of all; where does this leave the long suffering Kenyan people? Actually in a very bad place and between a rock and a hard place. As you read this the problem of the IDPs has really been forgotten. Indeed our politicians are not even interested in dealing with the aftermath of the post election violence which has destroyed many Kenyan businesses (Chris will highlight this in our new small business features section in the brand new re-launched Kumekucha in the next few days).

The first thing that happened yesterday was that Prime Minister Raila Odinga made a public appeal to former ethics PS John Githongo to return to the country. The PM emphasized that Githongo now has nothing to fear. Really? As succession politics intensifies, is it true that Mr Githongo would be safe living in Kenya and yet he seems to know “too much” about some of the top contenders (or shall I call them top pretenders) to the throne? Of course a mere visit is another matter altogether, but the prime minister was NOT talking about a visit.

Analysts, including this blogger believe that Githongo is now being used as an important piece on the chess board in what is shaping up to become a long drawn battle in the Kibaki succession. The PM and ODM need to reach out to the Kikuyu community and for this reason it is important that they have a high profile Kikuyu name in their fold.

The second thing that happened was that Justice Minister Martha Karua came out into the open to declare her interest in the presidency come 2012. The iron lady of Kenyan politics told a KTN journalist in an exclusive interview that her 16 years in parliament and her character qualify her to seek the highest office in the land. Interestingly enough in a news bulletin yesterday I heard Ms Karua’s middle Kikuyu name being used for the very first time (was it Wanbui? NO it is actually Wangari-thank you Ken). Mere coincidence or careful positioning? It is obvious that the bedrock of her support will initially have to come from the house of Mumbi and it may be necessary to remind voters at this early juncture, exactly what part of the country she comes from.

There is nothing wrong with anybody having ambitions to ascend to the presidency. However the really worrying thing here is that it is already clear that 2012 campaigns (which have already started in earnest) will be carried out along ethnic lines. Now we all know that the deep ethnic wounds of January this year are far from healing. Indeed nobody is addressing them at all. In my view (and in Chris’ view as well) this is a national crisis that needs to be addressed right away before anybody delves into the nonsense of campaigning for the presidency in 2012. Last week a Kenyan was knifed by a fellow Kenyan shortly after a political discussion started about the disputed presidential elections. We are even informed that in most Western capitals where Kenyans live there is now a clear distinction being drawn along ethnic lines, between PNU and ODM supporters.

God help Kenya.

(Article written by Chris and Oscar)

P.S. The position of Kumekucha is that all ministers accused of corruption irrespective of their party affiliation must step aside to allow for investigations to be carried out. It is fascinating that one of the ministers involved was doing deals relevant to his ministry days before Kibaki named the grand coalition cabinet.

The Sagana Factor

Sagana State Lodge. It's somewhere out there in Nyeri. A rich colonial history. I don't know who owns it, but it doesn't matter. What matters is what was said there by the ODM Leader and the President back in February, about a month after Kenya had undergone a wave of bloodletting unseen in Kenya since independence. As the two protagonists met in that secluded lodge, they'd left behind an anxious nation that was literally begging for a way out of the political impasse that had engulfed it for weeks. Both of them had haggled with their lieutenants for a softening of position, and both had been held hostage by the intransigence of their communities. Yet both realized that for Kenya to work together, some very serious negotiations had to be slapped on the table and difficult decisions made.

I revisit the meeting that took place at Sagana between Kibaki and Odinga because you won't understand the road-map to 2012 until you come to grips with what went on at the state lodge, an edifice given to Kenya by the Brits. Impeccable sources have confirmed that the meeting at the lodge was like the meeting Jomo Kenyatta held with Moi in Gatundu before the founding father of the nation left to meet his Maker. Historical accounts have it that it was in Gatundu that the late founding father promised to pass on the torch to Moi if Moi signed on to protecting Mama Ngina and the children, the wealth and the wider Agikuyu community. Moi, being the humble and cunning Vice President that he was, accepted the terms of the old man. And so Mzee Jomo Kenyatta beat back the Ngoroko and other nefarious Mt Kenya organizations that sought to deny Moi the throne.

Fast forward. After the unprecedented death and mayhem of December and January, it became obvious to the thought-leaders in Central Province that the community had veered too far off track and was marching away from the rest of Kenya. The wise men in the community therefore started seeking ways to make amends. To these wise men, there was no way to make amends without making the Prime Minister central to their schemes. It is in this light that President Kibaki and the ODM Leader sat at Sagana and drew the map right into 2012. What I can reveal is that the clamour to install the Prime Minister as an Agikuyu elder is a leaf out of the Sagana playbook. I can also reveal today that barring any unforeseen circumstances, the coalition President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga put together will ride on into 2012, or until those two gentlemen decide it's time to implement the Sagana Plan. And by the time the Sagana Plan comes to fruition, the son of Kenya's first Vice President will be the new President of Kenya. You can take that to the bank.

But it's now clear that a section of the ODM coalition, especially members of Parliament from the South Rift, are very unhappy with the incremental rapprochement between the Big Two and the general realignments taking place on the political landscape. What our friends from this corner of the Rift Valley may be failing to take into account is the fact that the Prime Minister has in mind a coalition that brings Kenya together. A national coalition. He's already a Luo elder. He's an Arap Mibei. And soon he'll be an Agikuyu elder. What you see emerging is the beginning of something that should have taken place right after independence...the birth of a nation. The fulfilment of The Mau Mau Prophecy. For forty five years we've been led by men who failed to create cohesion and understanding between us. Men who watched with glee, and even cashed in, as Kenyans fought Kenyans. That will change starting 2012, or sooner.

Given the significance of the Sagana Plan, it is now crucial for Kenyans to create a pathway to lasting peace. The fire and brimstone rhetoric that has characterised our discourse as a nation must now give way to development and honest healing. Of course there will be moments when we must shout like hell to correct a wrong, just like we did with Kimunya, but even such nuclear option moments must be conducted without attributing the sleaze of one man to an entire community.

Does that make sense? I think it does.

So as we look into the future, let's be optimistic and proud of where the nation is going. The foundation of a stable and prosperous nation was laid at Sagana. Yes, this is a classic case of something good springing out of a truly desperate situation. The future is now ours to shape. We will only fail if we allow the squabbles and the disappointments of the years gone by to cloud our thinking.

Let's all go to Sagana!

For Love of Country,

Guest post by Sam O. Okello

How clean is John Michuki? What is his favourite corruption racket since the 70s? Hint:Some people call it smart corruption.

The Demise of Stillborn Grand Opposition

The mooted Grand Opposition is staring its demise even before deliver thanks to tried and tested TRIBAL wars. The self acknowledged ambitious Budalangi MP Ababu Namwamba is a marked man. The unanimity that claimed Kimunya’s head is no more and every MP has regrouped into their respective safe TRIBAL BLOCKS. Hitherto active supporters of are finding new bearing in their fellow tribesmen. Ababu must have overestimated his resolve and enthusiasm to be consistently vigilant. He has been told that Uhuru is untouchable and he must never make the mistake of assuming that Jomo Jr. is political feather weight Kimunya.

Only in Kenya do whistle blowers promptly acquire tribal tags that relegate them from the hunter to the hunted. The zeal exhibited by MPs Jamleck, Mbau and company betrays their timidity (or was it steadfastness?) during Kimunya’s censor motion in parliament. The law being an ass must be applied to the letter. ECK has proved Uhuru broke the law and only latent support of impunity can make you look the other way and back the DPM. You cannot break the same law you swore to uphold.

Security in number is a lame and laughable defence when caught pants down. More over two wrongs never made a right. Let Kajwang carry his won cross -no need to organize rally in Mbita or having Nyanza Mps cover his back. And if he is proven culpable he must grace the same shame, RESIGN. Reducing Ababu’s resolve to show consistency in seeking good governance and accountability to shoe size only goes to what length our petty politics has degenerated by readily trivializing weight national issues.

Rotten fish syndrome
Impunity is a cancer that gnaws at the heart of good governance and must be fought with every tool available. Uhuru’s nomination of 13 PNU councillors instead of the legal 7 while truncating ODM’s 12 to 11 is the height of political arrogance that can only be supported by incurably disingenuous apologists. an abomination in reflection to good governance. Exceeding the number stipulated in law is not discretion as UK want us to believe by declaring that he did nothing wrong. As discredited as it is, the same ECK that declared Uhuru winner of Gatundu South seat must be respected. You don’t respect the law by trashing it and becoming an authority unto yourself to nominate cronies outside the ECK list.

Reminding Ababu that Uhuru is no Kimunya is to suffer the curse of unlawful monarchy. The truth be told Uhuru was only the bidding of his boss. What do you expect from a desperate prince waiting for coronation when his duly-elected king breaks the laws of the land by openly stealing an election? The fish rots from the head and no attempt at trying to deep fry the body will salvage the stench. Meanwhile it will be a waste of valuable time to seek a vote of no confidence in Uhuru. The best way forward is a shame impunity by degazzeting the excess councillors. Ababu must soldier on in showing new leadership that is chronically missing among the dinosaurs. He may be unpopular right now but he must know he is speaking for the silent majority out here.

Ministers Should Carry Their Own Crosses

Also published today: Why The Constantly Blundering NSIS Is A Big Danger To Kenya Part 2

So Jamlek Kamau (MP for Kigumo) feels that Uhuru Kenyatta is the wrong number for Ababu Namwamba to point fingers at. And that he should concentrate his energies on his Budalangi constituency. So who in the eyes of Kamau is the right number? Who is it that can have himself toyed with while others are left alone without investigation I wonder?

Any leader’s responsibility is to his constituents and the country as a whole. If for instance Ababu Namwaba comes across a case that needs clarification in parliament, the repairing of dykes will not stop in Budalangi just because the member looked into national matters. The idea of fellow MPs rallying support for ministers under investigation is sending the wrong message because it’s not a question of friendship here - just a minister who may or may not have broken the law. However complex our laws may be, it all boils to whether Uhuru or Kajwang' or Kimunya rubbished them or not. The case of errant ministers is that simple. Laws are made to be followed however small or negligible they may be in the eyes of the big guys. If Uhuru is guilty of irregular nomination of councilors let him carry his own cross. If he’s not guilty then he has nothing to fear or to be publicly supported about. The government I believe has mechanisms to determine such cases.

I’d not be surprised to see Uhuru going for some constituency love next if the storm gets thicker. And that’s the other point. Constituents too should desist from rallying blind support for MPs who are under investigation. If we are to mend this country, we cannot start by dancing around a corrupt minister just so our constituency can have a flag. We have to start crushing impunity from the constituency level and gladly let our MPs crash to the ground in disgrace if they’re found guilty of corruption or abuse of office.

Elius Mbau of Maragwa also in his defense for Uhuru had the audacity to say that any action taken by a government leader should be respected because the leaders are duly elected. Is he suggesting that we respect ministers’ decisions regardless of whether they’re right of wrong? That is the kind of balderdash that Kenya does not need now or ever. Is that not where abuse of office stems from? Ministers feeling that they can do anything just because?

And those speaking of witch hunting, of what use is the grand coalition if we cannot tackle grand corruption without fear of upsetting the balance?

Why The Constantly Blundering NSIS Is A Big Danger To Kenya Part 2

There is an old Chinese proverb that says: “ask the youth, they know everything.”

This proverb is rather appropriate in describing many political commentors in Kenya at the moment. They have no interest in history and yet they love to be authoritative in passing judgment over various issues based on what they see as their intellectual capacity. Between yesterday and today I have gotten a pretty good idea of what some of them think whenever I indulge in this topic of the NSIS. Some of them even believe that I usually hurriedly sit down to base my writing on “ghosts and shadows” that do not exist. If indeed that was my style here, I highly doubt if we would have now been approaching 2 million hits in this popular political site. Indeed we are even witnessing an interesting trend where daily newspapers and entire media houses are frequently making great efforts to copy as much as they possibly can from Kumekucha.

But to be fair, yesterday was also the day I got an email from Central province from this lady who said in part; “I have read Kumekucha without fail for long time now and I can confidently say that what you write is the truth.”

What touched me most about this email was that as wars of a tribal nature rage in the country (and I am told even in Western capitals where Kenyans live) this Kenyan who happens to belong to the house of Mumbi was able to make her own fair judgement on Kumekucha.

I dare add that one of the reasons why the old dinosaurs are still in power in Kenya today is because the younger people of Kenya have chosen to accept things at face value. Nobody is really interested in thinking outside the box. I urge you folks never to take things at face value. Even here in Kumekucha. Hint: if you have time, take a look at yesterday’s comments (for Part 1 of this article) and see if you see a pattern. I can assure you that things are NOT what they seem to be. Secondly some nasty commentators suddenly went quiet. Why? Anyway am sure re-grouping may be happening even now, but please let us be ready this time round folks.

There are some pertinent questions regular readers of this blog must ask themselves and not be in a hurry to answer. Why is it that this blog always seems to be under attack? Why not other blogs and sites? Who would benefit most if this blog shuts down? Who would want to keep away regular sober commentators from Kumekucha as much as possible and why? Who would be terrified at the thought of most readers irrespective of their tribe or political inclination uniting here in Kumekucha for a common cause? Would this be important enough for them to spend as much resources as possible to stop this unity from ever happening?

Sorry folks I cannot answer those questions for you. There are some questions in this life that nobody can answer for you, you just need to find the answers for yourself no matter how long it takes.

During the election chaos early this year, the CEO of Safaricom Michael Joseph was put under considerable pressure to shut down the cell phone company’s popular sms service. Read the whole Economist article HERE. To his credit Mr Joseph (a tough native of South Africa) did not crumble under that pressure. Still that did not stop a number of Kenyans being charged with incitement based on the sms messages they sent from their phones (the cases are still going on). The extent to which the NSIS monitor most cell phone communications is unknown to many Kenyans.

To be fair to our intelligence service, the impact that the cell phone and the World Wide Web have had on Kenyan politics is much more considerable than most people seem to realize and it has been virtually unstoppable. Indeed experts have now identified improved communications between citizens of the planet as one of the reasons why the whole world seems to be suddenly spinning out of control virtually everywhere. But still there is no way to justify any effort to spend valuable money and resources trying to stop the unstoppable. And yet this is exactly what the NSIS has been doing and fortunes in taxpayer’s funds have been directed towards the effort of controlling mobile phone communications and the web.

Contrast this scenario with what is happening in neighboring Tanzania. The intelligence network in that country is second to none in the whole of Africa and yet their budget is nowhere near being as large as that of the NSIS. Admittedly Tanzania has benefited greatly from the “majumba kumi” (10 houses) system set up by founding father president Julius Nyerere. Under the system every 10 households has an officially recognized leader who reports everything to the authorities. Especially foreigners or strangers who have moved into the neighborhood recently, even if they are mere guests in one of the 10 houses under their jurisdiction. The result is that nobody in Tanzania “coughs” without the authorities knowing. Bear in mind that Tanzania is an administrator’s nightmare. It is a huge country, almost the size of Kenya and Uganda put together.

Recently the Tanzanian government has been increasingly concerned about Kenyans exporting crime into their country and has developed a very elaborate system for keeping an eye on Kenyans that involves the use of beautiful Tanzanian women agents whom they know most Kenyans have a weakness for. What you may not want to tell the immigration officer at the border, you will surely tell a beautiful girl who is falling all over you after a few drinks. They also have a sophisticated high-tech system being installed at the border that monitors the entry into the country of all traffic from Kenya using technology that involves photographing you at the border. But I digress. My point here is that the Tanzanians are known in the international intelligence community as people who insist on doing things in their own way. But oh my do they get results!!

It all has a lot to do with the fact that the intelligence system in that country, unlike in Kenya, was set up “giraffe style” where wise founding fathers clearly had a long term view in mind. As a result skills have even been passed down in a deliberate and orderly manner.

No comparison to poor Kenya where the Special Branch was reduced to a personal intelligence service for State House in last year’s general elections while all other projects remained under-funded and almost abandoned. The results of this can clearly be seen as the nation stands now on the brink of disaster.

Another huge difference between Kenya and Tanzanian intelligence is the tribal issue.

Oh yes, I can hear you sigh. Take heart, I too have sighed, but deeper than you have. Impeccable sources have confirmed to me that the NSIS has been torn right down the middle by tribalism in recent times. Trouble seems to have started when current Director General, Michael Gichagi took over. In fact other sources albeit less reliable, tell me that this could be the reason why the Kenyan intelligence ship is leaking more terribly that the famous Titanic ever did. Shockingly, there was a point in the run up to last year’s ill-fated general elections when reports were circulating on the web purporting to be NSIS research on the popularity levels of the two main presidential candidates. The scary thing here is not whether or not the allegations were true but the very thought that it was possible for such a confidential piece of information to be leaked from our national intelligence service and be widely distributed amongst Kenyans on the web. That fact alone tells you that it is in the best interests of the country to dismantle the NSIS as we know it today and start over.

P.S. Somebody has suggested that the idea of switching from the “British way” of doing intelligence, which was what the old Special branch was, to the American system which was the structure used in setting up the NSIS was a big mistake and has totally failed. Indeed American things do not export too well to Africa. They never have. But clearly all experts I have spoken to are unanimous in agreeing on one thing—namely the fact that the NSIS is a mess.

Infectious Selective Censor and Political Suicide

With the smell of political blood still suffocating our political airspace, some of the 10th Parliament MPs are spoiling for another VIP scalp after Kimunya. Trust Kenyan politicians to abuse and use words selfishly to suit their narrow interests. Discretion is the new buzzword among the Grand coalition cabinet ministers. Borrowing Kimunya's script by defending themselves that they acted within prescribed powers, Uhuru and Kajwang are denying any form of impropriety in their actions.

Two wrongs never made a right and so comparing whose crime between Uhuru and Kajwang is bigger amounts to splitting hairs. In Kajwang’s book he overruled his immigration officers in issuing work permits for jobs whose qualifications can be sourced locally. True, the buck stops with the minister as he proudly gloats but he must come out and unambiguously explain if in the process of acting as he did no law was broken. Failure to do so amounts to impunity which is the singular unique characteristic defining this administration.

Uhuru Kenyatta is said to have substituted names for nominations forwarded to him by respective political parties by those of his personal and political liking. Alright, it may be lawful for the local government minister to nominate up to a third of councilors. But the question is did he do it proportionately as per the composition of the elected two thirds? Well, you cannot fail to see the temptation then to tinker with figures during the politically volatile January and February of this year. What of ODM’s numerical superiority at the civic level threatening to upstage and frustrate PNU's power from above? For whatever it was Jomo Jr. must own up to his actions and if he is found to have acted outside his mandate no donning of tribal or party colours will wash. He must carry the cross no matter the weight.

Hare hunting foxes
Having fanned the first embers of political heat, the domino effect of Kimunya’s fall is threatening to come back to claim Martha Karua’s political scalp. The Iron Lady may have played it smart by sticking to the law and prodding his political lapdog Mungatana to expose Kimunya, but her star may be dimmed with the predictable cocked Cocker commission’s report. In all likelihood Kimunya will be exonerated of wrong doing. And that will mark the beginning of fierce intra-Gema wars for political supremacy in tandem with Kibaki succession.

As they say sweet revenge is a menu better served cold. Martha must pray that the Cocker’s commission find Kimunya VERY GUILTY. Otherwise the other 4Ks may just team up to deflate her political balloon. Her intentions of playing above the fray and reproach politics in fighting corruption may be a noble gesture. But in Kenya's hyper-ethnic and regional based politics, her heroics may be turned against her as unforgivable betrayal of one of her own.

The adage of running with the hare to hunt with the foxes couldn’t haven’t have been more apt. It is very ironical but surely not naive to tie Martha’s political future with Amos Kimunya’s fate. It won’t surprise anybody to see the end turning into payback time. Martha’s fate apparently is out of her hands but instead lies with the powers that be. She remains safe if she is their pick otherwise the future bodes ill for her. Only time will tell whether she enriched her political CV or unwittingly committed political suicide in advance.

Secret Succession Deal: Has Kibaki Endorsed Raila for 2012?

President Mwai Kibaki, accompanied by Nyeri Town MP Hon. Esther Mathenge is escorted by jubilant wananchi after he unveiled the new Gikuyu Bible at Kamukunji Stadium, Nyeri.

While it is debatable that the president asked politicians to desist campaigning for 2012, me thinks he is the least qualified person to instruct other ambitious politicians to avoid campaigning.

After the tragic events of December 2007, Kibaki should, in my opinion, be looking to engage in nationalistic matters that will rebuild his shattered image and help him in creating a lasting legacy since he will not be candidate himself for presidency ever again.

In so far as political instability or bickering is concerned, only two naive politicians, both of them aligned to Kibaki’s PNU wing of government, have publicly shown interest and started early campaigns for the presidency. They are Martha Karua and Kalonzo Musyoka.

But then it appears Kibaki's Nyeri trip was not just about unveiling a Gikuyu bible. A political bombshell was dropped while some very thorny barbs were thrown at some unnamed but well known individual(s) within Kibaki’s own PNU coalition. His off the cuff remarks were like an open declaration that Raila is not just his second in command but also his choice for president come 2012. These were his words; "There is no power vacuum and the current leadership arrangement in the country is well defined with a president and Raila as principal assistant." Note that the president did not say prime minister but principal assistant. These remarks were, as expected, largely ignored by Kenya’s highly compromised mainstream media but anyone who watched prime time TV news on Saturday night could not have missed it. If I were Kalonzo Musyoka, I would seriously think about putting a water-tight plan B in place.

It seems the president has secretly made a succession deal with Raila for 2012 and has been dropping hints for anyone who cares to listen. Government officials, led by one Francis Muthaura, are quick at publishing pecking order clarifications, but on the other hand the president is actually naming “musaidizi wake anaitwa Raila” at a public function in his own Nyeri backyard and also categorically stating that even tomorrow’s leadership is already prebooked!

Kibaki also has harsh words for his Agikuyu community: "For how long shall Kenyan people continue to fight? Have you people from this region decided to abandon animosity? Kenyans must decide to abandon this retrogressive behavior."

He went on to castigate (well known unnamed) “political leaders for preaching disunity" and urged "those harbouring ambitions to lead the nation to await their ripe moment rather than distract wananchi from nation building. The president asked: “Do not think you will get the chance tomorrow because there are others on the leadership? Wait a little while so that we can see how you will get there. If you start campaigns now, we will be against you and say that we cannot trust you anymore." Further note the president appears to be suggesting that there is no chance for 2012 (tomorrow), while warning those who are campaigning now that they will not be trusted.

Kibaki’s controversial remarks over the weekend can be interpreted differently but the message is fairly straight forward. When one considers that plans for Raila’s controversial inauguration as an Agikuyu elder are also at an advanced stage, what would an open and unequivocal Kibaki endorsement mean to the possibility of Raila being (re)elected as president with landslide in the next general elections?

Why The Constantly Blundering NSIS Is A Big Danger To Kenya Part 1

A country’s intelligence service should be its’ pride and everybody should be confident that the nation’s intelligence network is well able to take care of the beloved motherland’s national security.

While the dreaded predecessor of the NSIS, the Special branch, achieved a lot with very limited funding in those days, the relatively new NSIS has in its’ short history brought only plenty of shame and many are now doubting whether those running the outfit really know what they are doing.

In January this year, private armies and militias whom we are told were put in place before the ill-fated general elections caused unprecedented mayhem and thousands of Kenyans lost their lives as a result. Apparently the NSIS did not have a clue as to what was going on. Indeed while various commentators predicted chaos if the elections were rigged—including this blog, it seems that the folks at NSIS did not have a clue. And accordingly the NSIS advised the president that all was well.

But there are many other glaring errors of judgment on the side of the NSIS that have come to light that are very scary and would seem to suggest that Kenyans do not really have an effective national intelligence outfit in place. Just to give one more example, the role and behaviour of the director general of the NSIS in the election fiasco seems to suggest that this is a man who has very limited understanding of the country and its’ people (outside his own community) or views them through prejudiced lenses. If this is true then the country is in such grave danger that it would have been much better if we did not have any intelligence service at all in place. Heck some politician’s personal intelligence networks have proved to be hundreds of times more effective.

My own careful observation and encounter of little details in the operations of the NSIS especially on the World Wide Web and in what is widely referred to as new media has left me deeply embarrassed at the realization that those behind some of the actions have no idea what they are doing.

Let me first make it clear that the NSIS has NEVER been a threat to my personal safety (as some people who have written me emails seem to think) and my recent troubles had nothing to do with them. Rather the strategy they have adopted as far as this blog is concerned is one of carefully monitoring it and wherever possible doing everything to limit its’ influence from spreading further by discrediting stories and posts carried here. Nothing wrong with them doing their job, even as I do mine. However the manner in which some of their operatives have pursued this objective has mainly been laughable.

A few months ago, somebody mysteriously cloned this blog and came up with a blog called Kumekuchas.blogspot.com. Notice that the difference is the “s” at the end of Kumekucha. That person who would not have achieved the feat without going into a lot of trouble and some expense because they even copied the exact design and logo of Kumekucha at the time. The monitoring system I have in place enabled me to discover the site hours after it came up on the web. My first reaction was to assume that it was the work of some amateur with more money than sense, or an aggrieved person whom I had exposed in previous posts. My inquiries kept on pointing in a different direction. It took me quite some time to believe that the evidence was pointing where it was.

Now without wanting to lecture you or show off my limited knowledge on web publishing, the truth is that if you cloned the Daily Nation print edition or any other print publication, the impact would be considerable. However when you do the same online without even bothering to do any SEO (search engine optimization) for important keywords, then basically it is a waste of time and resources. Or to simplify matters even further you just need to ask yourself the question; how will you get traffic to the site?

Secondly serious efforts have also been made to constantly jeer at articles in this blog. These efforts have completely ignored one fact. And that is the level of intelligence of the people who read this blog. Even I have been constantly amazed at just how intelligent and knowledgeable most of our readers here are. They are hardly the kind of people you can spin a yarn to and get away with it. Of course the fact that a few of them (who mostly like to leave comments) are radical supporters—or is it hero-worshippers—of either of the principals in the grand coalition government can fool a casual observer into thinking otherwise. However I can tell you one little secret. The majority of silent readers most of whom do not leave any comments ever are not fools.

Still the persistent comments here by people who are convinced that all posts in this blog are trash and not worth reading and do not have any new information have left one simple but puzzling question on the minds of intelligent regular readers here. The question is; in the busy world we live in today why would somebody waste their valuable time writing comments all over the place to discredit Kumekucha? Why not just stop visiting the site and instead patronize other sites that offer more reliable and acceptable information to them? Why is it so important to repeatedly tell other readers that you will stop reading the blog and you continue t do this for 6 months or longer?

I leave you to ponder on that mystery as you await the second and final part of this article.

Don’t miss Part 2 of his article where I talk about the failed attempt that was made to halt Safaricom SMS services at the height of post election violence and why the Tanzanian intelligence service is second to none in Africa. Plus how tribal tensions within the NSIS have destroyed the effectiveness of the intelligence unit.

The exciting summary of Tom Mboya's biography started today and it is FREE get it by subscribing to Kumekucha Confidential. It is FREE send an email now to

kumekucha-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Curse & Hate Like Chicken Always Come Home to Roost

Curse and hate like chicken always come to roast, so do blessings and love. Or simply put it that you always get back what you give (or are) and it somehow always comes back in a bigger measure.

Am a Kenyan by birth and by every other way you can think of, and I have been right here and many times in the middle of highs and lows of this country for like the last 20yrs. But I have never experienced hate in its full measure like I have in last seven months. In my quest to find out what this whole hate & curse thing is about … I got many theories and stories for their causes, but am yet to be convinced of any of them. Currently am at a point where I don’t care about the haterz any more, am more concerned on when we lost the love of each other as citizens of Kenya … and more on how to get the love back.

We currently have a generation of kids who learnt to hate when they were toddlers, and they learnt it from their parents. Many of the youngsters have learnt it as they were growing up and it has slowly become a part of their lives. And unfortunately, the adults are ensuring the hate lives on. In short we are in a hole that we have been digging and we still digging it. Funny thing is we are convinced that we doing the right thing and we have forgotten that two wrongs make no right … no matter what you do.

Injustices done in the past can’t be erased by us ignoring, cursing, hating and eliminating one another … that will never happen. We need to get our hands dirt and honestly get to the roots of the problems. And by that I don’t mean a legislation of anything … but I mean to get ourselves really dirty and painfully go through the roots of our issues and courageously uproot them. And this uprooting is not what has become the Kenyan way of uprooting by getting rid of the leaves. We have allowed some pple to get rid of the leaves of a tree and then cheering them on … forgetting we are in a semi-arid area where our trees get nourishment from the roots that run deep into the ground.

That means we have to sober up, a difficult thing if you ask me, but something we really need to do. We drunk from many things and beer/alcohol ain’t one of them. We drunk from hate arrogance, pride, greed, laziness, etc and we desperately need to sober up.

A good starting point is love for one another.

NB: Please pple lets not lie to ourselves that political leaders are to blame for our issues (which to me is a form of escapism), they are just a reflection who we are.

Kibaki Attempts to Stem Political Bloodbath

Kimunya’s political death before he resigned has forced Kibaki to act albeit in arrears. With MPs smelling blood, Kibaki has finally realized that being aloof and leading by remote control can be politically fatal. This has seen him call a PNU meeting for Tuesday to help recoup some resemblance of an organized party despite the reality being the parts disintegrating from the plastic sum.

Kibaki’s attempt to take direct control of PNU comes with challenges that he must be ready to confront. For starters he is cleverly trying to manage his own succession. The wars so far pits his close allies and also threatens others who are left with no known party were PNU to disintegrate. Put with political egos ballooning at every party convention it will be interesting to see how the whole succession battle fans out. The war is on pitting four parties. The Karua axis believes they have boxed themselves into the ring and are left with choice but to fight. Jomo Jr. on the other side cannot afford to see his dream/deal shuttered right before his eyes.

The experienced and moneyed Prof. Kiarie Kinuthia Saitoti must also be having an ace up his sleeves against the loud political toddlers. Water Assistant minister Mwangi Kiunjuri completes the picture of rivalry and fight for post Kibaki political space in Central Kenya with Grand National Union party whose patron is none other than Daudi Mwiraria. Kibaki has a tough task to reign on the bloated egos and contain the suffocating ambitions of 5Ks -Karua, Kenyatta, Kiarie, Kiaritu and Kalonzo.

Taming egos of 5Ks
Granted, impunity and utter contempt can be effectively applied to a nation enslaved by a tattered constitution. While selective and selfish application of the law can afford you the luxury of auctioning a country to China and Libya, containing burning ambitions of fellow politicians scheming to succeed you is a different ball game altogether. With Ford-K having decamped when its value dramatically depreciated in the coalition, it will be interesting to see the direction Narc-K takes with the iron lady in the controls. Kalonzo’s too is not naive to the political dynamics and will want his commensurate pound of flesh when the right time for payback comes.

Leadership from the rear can be very expensive in the long run. One would have ordinarily expected PNU to have a meeting prior to Kimunya’s censor motion in parliament. But make no mistake. The present attempt to secure the stables after the horses have bolted has more to it than just political fire fighting. With the king exposed, he has to come out fighting to chaperon his troops in order to avoid any more leaks given that more deals with Libya need to be accomplished before Leader Gaddafi throws embarrassing and incriminating tantrums.

When you con your way into political office ridding on a tower of Babel you must be ready to have your skull kiss debris from the resulting ruin. Well, the duly elected has his job cut out for him. He must brace himself for the challenges of managing a patchwork of political edifices revolving around competing loyalties albeit with the common agenda to succeed him. Kibaki is simply paying the ultimate price of cobbling a party on the wrong premise and devoid of any structure.

Cops Mistake Each Other For Thugs And Exchange Fierce Gun Fire In Nairobi

Kumekucha Weekend Special: Focus on the Kenya Police

The following hilarious incident that happened only last Monday (July 7^th 2008) speaks volumes about the kind of police force we have in Kenya.

Two police units mistook each other for thugs and engaged in a fierce shootout where two passengers inside a matatu caught in the cross fire died on the spot. The ill-fated matatu was going to Eastleigh.

Police have denied the deaths and only said that the two passengers were seriously injured. My sources have however confirmed that the two innocent Kenyans died on the spot and the bodies were loaded into a police vehicle and taken away. This writer is yet to establish where the bodies ended up because they never arrived at Kenyatta National Hospital where police said they were taken “for treatment.” One police officer was injured and taken to Forces Memorial hospital where he was treated and discharged.

The incident took place in Nairobi’s Kariokor Estate and was confirmed by Central police station deputy OCS Richard Mugwai. He said the incident took place shortly before 1 pm at the Racecourse roundabout.

One of the police units in the shootout was from outside Nairobi and was unknown to the Flying squad officers who were obviously in plain clothes.

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Previous stories in this Weekend Special edition;

How Kumekucha was asked to strip naked by the Kenya Police

Unusual and bizarre methods of solving crime in Kenya

Serial rapists in Uniform

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This incident that has even been confirmed by police spokesman Eric Kiraithe illustrates the well known fact that the line between the police and thugs is so thin that sometimes it disappears altogether. Criminals are known to hire firearms from the police to commit crimes for a fee. The advantage in using police firearms is obvious. It means that the gun that committed the crime can never be traced.

Many other times cops are in partnership with thugs who share the spoils with them. The police then shoot them dead when they have outlived their usefulness and also to eliminate the possibility of the criminals ever “spilling the beans” and testifying against them. They then promptly move to the next upcoming gang of thugs and repeat the same process.

In such a situation the question arises as to whether the police will ever be able to win the fight against crime.

This series cannot be complete without repeating the often-told tale of what policemen do when they have no food in the house. The story goes that they grab their uniform and tell mama watoto to boil some water. Before the water has fully boiled they will usually be back with groceries including a kilo of meat. No they did not withdraw the funds from a nearby ATM, what they did was to elicit a bribe from the first person they met by threatening to lock them up for a charge they will figure out later.

Is there really any hope for the rotten society that is Kenya where money is so important that nothing else matters?

Serial Rapists In Uniform

Kumekucha Weekend Special: Focus on the Kenya Police

There is this police station in Nairobi that used to have a police officer who was a well known serial rapist. The man was married with children and it is not clear where and when he picked up this sick mentality.

It has been suggested by some that he could not help himself because many women suspects offer themselves in return for various favors. This is of course a theory that is even crazier than this officer who is said to have been rather tall in stature.

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Previous stories in this Weekend Special edition;

How Kumekucha was asked to strip naked by the Kenya Police

Unusual and bizarre methods of solving crime in Kenya

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But there is more. Please brace yourselves folks.

Most reports of rape at this police station used to be referred to the said officer. Yes, the serial rapist himself. It is said that he would then take great pleasure in getting the “exact gory details” of what had happened to the victim reporting the rape. This included the actual penetration and all kinds of details related to it. It is not clear what the exact objectives of his actions were but I can assure you the information was never used for official purposes or to press charges.

Now if you are a man and reading this, you may be unable to understand a few things. Rape is NOT a joke. Indeed there is no crime as horrifying as rape. Most women would actually prefer to be murdered than to be raped. So you can begin to imagine the kind of traumatized state that a victim of rape is in as they arrive at a cop shop to report the heinous crime only to be confronted by a sexual predator of a police officer keen on getting some excitement out of their trauma.

Mercifully a lot has changed since this sick officer reigned a few years back, but sadly not nearly enough. The sexual offences bill was passed by the 9^th parliament but is yet to be fully implemented.

I once personally witnessed a woman reporting rape to a police station in a well known Nairobi estate. There was visible evidence that the woman had been through a traumatizing experience similar to what she was reporting. To make matters worse she was carrying a child on her back. Right there in the crowded police station police officers loudly questioned her. She was clearly a very brave woman and somehow did not break down, because I am a man but I would have surely broken down in such a situation. The officers wanted to know if the rape happened when the child was still on her back. They obviously took great joy in questioning her. And nobody was even writing anything down. It was clear that the whole thing was just pure entertainment for the said officers.

As I left that police station one question disturbed me greatly. Did these police officers not have sisters, mothers, daughters and even wives who could be possible victims of rape one day?

Unusual And Bizarre Methods of Solving Crime In Kenya

Weekend Special: Focus On The Kenya Police

In the 1980s a rumour of sorts started doing the rounds about how good a record the Kenya Police had of solving criminal cases.

The amazing rumour had it that the CID almost always got their man and when they failed it was only because of political interference. At around the same time I had a relative that I used to frequently visit somewhere in Mathare, here in Nairobi. One day I noticed something very strange. Now we reporters who have been on the beat can smell a cop from 100 miles away. I noticed 3 police officers in plain clothes entering a house which we all knew belonged to a famous witchdoctor.

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Previous story in this Weekend Special edition;

How Kumekucha was asked to strip naked by the Kenya Police

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Being the snoopy journalist I am, I of course did my investigations and I soon had what I thought was an excellent story. To my disappointment newspaper editors thought different. None of them could dare touch my story and it has gathered dust for many years now.

Essentially CID officers at the time were making frequent use of witchdoctors to get their man and solve crimes. And apparently it was working, although this is naturally something that is virtually impossible to verify. The obvious reason is that everybody knows that in those days (and even today) if you land in the hands of CID officers it really didn’t matter whether you were actually guilty or not. By the time they finished with you, you would be willing to gladly confess to anything they wanted you to confess to. This “confession” coupled with a little “manufactured” evidence here and there has sent many poor innocent Kenyans to jail for crimes they never committed.

If truth be told the tradition in criminal investigations in this country has been one of laziness amongst officers. In fact many CID officers then frequented nyama choma dens at lunch time and bars at night (purportedly carrying out investigations). Many officers when exposed to this kind of lifestyle soon had a big problem. That problem was that they looked like a pregnant woman who had missed her date for giving birth by about 6 months and yet the baby inside them had kept growing.

Now when you are carrying around that kind of weight, verifying small details is not very easy. With this kind of understanding it becomes easier to understand how the idea of visiting a witchdoctor to solve crimes became so attractive to some CID officers.

These days CID officers are still generally pretty lazy. Their new “whipping boy” is of course technology. Now this is information that the police have worked very hard to keep out of the public domain, but you have already read it here before if you are a regular reader of Kumekucha. Many people are not aware of the fact that even if you change the sim card in a cell phone, it can still be traced. So when a crime is committed and the cell phone of the victim is taken, the police have a pretty easy job tracing the culprits. Cell phones have featured very prominently in various high profile murder cases although the details released have many times been scanty. For instance in the very famous Gachanja murder trial where a former commissioner of lands was charged alongside his wife and in-laws for murdering a certain estate agent in Kitengela, the mobile phone of the deceased enabled the police to solve the crime in record time. Mr Wilson Gachanja himself was acquitted for lack of evidence but the other co-accused persons are currently on death row awaiting their appointment with the hangman (if President Kibaki ever brings himself to sign the necessary documentation).

If you are reading this and are fond of buying cell phones being sold in the streets at throw-away prices then be warned, you now know that there are many like you who are behind bars or went through lots of suffering before being released just because they were given an offer they couldn’t refuse for a cell phone.

But of all the bizarre methods of solving crime employed by our officers none beats that of a certain under cover woman cop who came into the limelight in the late 80s and early 90s whom people used to say used sex to solve various puzzles. Information is scanty but word in the force around then was that she would go to bed with criminals and get her information during pillow talk. In those days when all the sources who would have given me all the details to this titillating story were readily available, it never crossed my mind to write the story. I wouldn’t dare have done it. Not in the Kenya of those days.

The truth is that the Kenya police is a joke apart from being extremely corrupt. Little wonder that it is widely believed that prisons in the country mostly do not hold the real criminals. The people behind bars are mostly innocent and the thugs are those who were unable to raise the required bribe money.

More Kenya Police Stories Tomorrow: Chris tackles serial rapists in uniform and Partners with criminals. Don’t miss these stories in your brand new weekend companion (Kumekucha Weekend Special may now be comparable or probably even better than the one you usually spend the weekend with? Ama?)