Weekend Special: Focus On The Kenya Police

Kumekucha Weekend Special

I stood in the middle of the room completely naked and shivering more in terrified fright than from the early morning cold wind rushing in from the open window.

I, Kumekucha, was at the CID headquarters and I was surrounded by at least half a dozen CID officers who wanted information from me that I did not have. Earlier they had asked me to strip completely naked (right down to my underwear) and they had told me in no uncertain terms that I was surely going to tell them what they wanted to know. Either that or my body would be at the nearby City Mortuary within the hour, riddled with bullets of course.

To tell you the truth I was very ready at that moment to “sing any song” they wanted and I would have readily confessed to anything they wanted me to confess to. Hell, I would easily have convinced them that I was the one who had assassinated President John F. Kennedy (although I was not even born when he was felled).

Now you have to understand that the year was 1985 and I had barely been out of school for 2 years. I was still young, naïve and clearly—contrary to what the CID officers staring at my well built (I was an international rugby player) naked body thought—not the material for the hardcore Mwakenya anti-government movement. What happened to me next is not as important as the effect and impact the encounter had on my life. Naturally I was never the same person again.

To start with I was very bitter because I was completely innocent and yet I suffered so much trauma in the hands of the Kenyan police in just 3 days in their custody. In fact in those days I had not written a single word in any political story, I was a mere film critic.

I hardly used to touch alcohol before that fateful morning at CID police headquarters but I was very nearly wiped off the face of this earth by the bottle in the months and years that followed.

As the police commissioner was captured on national TV this past week defending the police force and emphasizing that his boys did not use excessive force in dealing with post-election violence, the same TV was showing images of members of the civil society being “handled violently” by the same police force. Their only crime was to hold a peaceful demonstration demanding the resignation of former Finance Minister Amos Kimunya and that of the Attorney General as well.

As I watched Major General Ali put up an academy award winning performance, my mind went back to some of my journalist colleagues who were not as lucky as I was in the hands of the Kenya Police. Top on my mind was a cheerful brash press photographer called Wallace Gichere who used to work for Hillary Ngweno’s Nairobi Times, the first indigenous local daily newspaper to be launched in these shores. He stayed on when the newspaper was sold to Moi’s Kanu and changed its’ name to Kenya Times. Gichere used to look at me unbelievingly and tell me that I was too young then for the tough game of journalism in Kenya. The man spoke his mind and I guess that is mainly what landed him into serious problems.

Well, in the hands of the Kenya Police his life was quickly destroyed. They threw him off a building and made sure that it was not high enough for him to die. The official story was predictable. They said Mr Gichere was trying to escape from police custody and forgot that he was not on the ground floor. Mr Gichere never walked again and was of course never able to work as a press photographer again. His life slowly ebbed away on the wheel chair. I am certain he was innocent of whatever he was being accused of. His only crime was that the guy spoke his mind, always. Of course matters were made worse by the fact that he a Kikuyu and those were the Moi years.

But alas, it is not the intention of this post to be some sob story for all the victims of police brutality in Kenya. Rather my objective today is to ask the question, what exactly went wrong with the Kenya Police?

Clearly police brutality did not start under Maj Gen Ali (although it has risen to new unprecedented heights under his watch). Actually the problem can be traced back to 1963. One thing that any serious historian will have to acknowledge is the fact that Kenya’s first president, Mzee Jomo Kenyatta was paranoid about any armed force in the country and not just the Kenya army.

And admittedly with good reason. Many other countries in Africa were experiencing frequent military coups in those days (early 60s). In a country like Nigeria coups have always been popping up faster than popcorn. In the beautiful neighboring clove islands called Zanzibar, a Ugandan Police Office called Okello organized perhaps one of the bloodiest coups in history in January 1964. One account has it that the streets of Zanzibar’s famous Stone Town literally had Arab blood flowing in almost endless streams.

Back in Kenya there was an army mutiny (the only one in the country’s history) in 1964 which took place at the Lanet barracks. The then infant Kenyatta administration finally dealt with it with Tom Mboya playing a major role. Details of exactly what happened then remain scanty to this day.

So it is quite understandable that when the front runner for the job of Kenya’s first African police commissioner was an excellent Luo officer (I forget his name) Kenyatta ignored him and settled for his blood relative Bernhard Hinga. From then on the appointment of police commissioner has always been a seriously political issue where merit is ignored and political patronage takes centre stage.

So how can one seriously hope to have a professional police force when the person who heads it is a political appointee more interested in political patronage to retain his position? Why should senior police officers put in the effort and initiative when the tradition of promotion by merit left with the colonialists? I believe this seemingly minor point is at the core of the problems we still experience with our police force to this day.

My dad served with distinction in the Kenya Police and rose to the rank of senior assistant commissioner of police. The old man was trained by the colonialists and is a stickler for discipline and principals. It is instructive that he was bound to ran into serious problems with the establishment while some of his corrupt colleagues made fantastic fortunes and were never at any time scared for their lives. It amuses me today that growing up I was sure he was making a mistake being so principled and ending up in so many problems as a result. Today he is not only one of the inspirations that birthed Kumekucha but time has proven him right. A vast majority of his corrupt colleagues are now 6 feet under. One in particular who worked for the Special branch lived his last days in a horrific manner that has never left my mind. I now understand the expression; “Do you sleep at night?” This man who joined the police a year before my Dad did couldn’t sleep at night and even with heavy consumption of whisky would only finally succumb to sleep of the stupor kind at 3 am in the morning. And this happened daily. Finally the whisky ate up all his insides and he died a terribly painful death. Meanwhile my dad who never took anybody’s shilling is still enjoying his retirement and snores loudly most of the night.

That is one of the most important lessons I have ever learnt from this life. It is especially relevant today because to many Kenyans the almighty shilling is not the most important thing, rather it is the only thing and how one obtains it is no longer as important as ensuring that you have plenty of it.

The old man has repeatedly told me one thing so many times that it has almost become boring. Raising standards is a very difficult thing and when you lower them, recovering is virtually impossible.

The colonialists left a well structured and very disciplined Police force with important rules in place. What we did to it after that was to lower standards and ignore the rules. The agonizing truth is that we will never recover.

The only answer now is to get rid of the Kenya police as we know it today and start again from scratch with a brand new police force.

More Police stories later today and tomorrow as well: Don’t miss to read later today about the crazy and bizarre CID methods of solving crime.

See Chris’ other post today: No capable young men hence Michuki’s appointment

No Capable Young Kenyan Men Hence John Michuki’s Appointment As Finance Minister

The appointment of John Michuki as acting minister of Finance is a joke, only that it is not that funny in a country reeling with too many problems and in fact on the verge of shutting down altogether.

It also clearly sends forth the message to Kenyans that this administration is not about to break the Kikuyu hold on matters finance in Kenya.

Incredibly John Michuki is a man who seems to have built a reputation amongst the Kenyan public for getting things done. Huh!!! And this is one of the reasons why his appointment has even been received with excitement in some quarters. This illustrates just how easy it still is for politicians in this country to fool the masses with mere words. Amos Kimunya, the serial liar told the public many lies which were hardly questioned and one would like to think that people and even journalists have become a little wearier of statements from politicians by now.

John Michuki was Minister of Transport early in the Kibaki administration and was praised for bringing order to the previously chaotic industry. Meanwhile nobody questioned the collapse of the Stagecoach Kenya Bus Services and the rapid rise of Citti Hoppa. Stagecoach, the last owners of Kenya Bus is a UK based multi-national launched with a single old bus by the children of a former bus driver (a brother and his sister) and have built a reputation for their ability to fight their way to the top despite fierce competition. So how is it that they failed in Kenya and without a fight? Who owns Citti Hoppa? Is there any connection between its' ownership and the new Finance Minister?

After the ill-fated 2007 general elections Mr Michuki was briefly appointed Minister for Roads. In his characteristic fashion, he called numerous press conferences to tell Kenyans that under his watch, the days for cowboy contractors were over. But o date nobody has done any analysis to find out how many contractors were deregistered during his tenure at the ministry. And even more telling why companies owned by a notorious cowboy contractor called Ephrahim Maina (of Kirinyaga Construction fame) are still doing business as usual. Mr Maina is even now a Member of parliament.

What we should now expect from Mr Michuki is a flurry of exciting press conferences to whisper many sweet nothings into the ears of the Kenyan people.

However the biggest question that the world will ask out there when they see the old relic of a grandfather limping his way around at the Treasury is simple; are there no young capable men and women left in Kenya?

P.S. I am told that John Michuki’s appointment contrary to what I wrote in an earlier post (that a PNU appointment would make it easier for Kenyans to get to the bottom of the Grand Regency saga) is mainly to cover up the truth. He is a trusted personal friend of the president and yet most Kenyans trust him too. They say that we must now brace ourselves for the kind of cover up that will make all other cover ups of the past look like child’s play. Let’s wait and see shall we?

Minister Number 2.5 Rattles the Till

Finance Ministry is the nerve centre of all the national LOOTING and will never be entrusted to nosy or untried hands. John Michuki was the best bet to keep the lid tightly shut lest the worms come out crawling to embarrass the king. The acting minister is primed to promptly kill two birds in one blow: one the budget debate will not be derailed for lack of a minister. But mostly importantly the able Kimeendero will make sure the privileged Kenyans who borrowed Ksh. 20b from with no intention of paying have a trusted hand to cover them now that their guarantor is a political past tense.

But wait a minute. The workaholic Michuki must have an administrative transplant to wade through the 10th Parliament. His bravado and high handedness of the colonial school will meet its match. Besides pressure from the public Kibaki’s financial inner circles will not find it easy to do business with John. The old colonial administrator will obviously take no orders from first siblings who are busy feathering their nest with every available opportunity. Then the predictable conflict of interest as Michuki himself has the high affinity to smell deals miles away.

In addition to containing MPs within parliament, Michuki’s acting capacity is a clever ploy by Kibaki to avoid political fallout in his own backyard. The minister’s DNA had to be right for obvious reasons. But then there starts the next round of intra-ethnic wars. While Karua and Uhuru have their political antennae tuned to 2012, the council of elders and Trancentury patrons have higher and bigger objectives which are short term stretching into long term. The deals made to finance last years polls must be completed no matter what and new ones brokered and finalized in the next 1500 days. Only a safe pair of hands which is not only trusted but also tested and tried fits that bill.

Last sweet laugh
Meanwhile Kimunya can leak his wounds for now secure in the knowledge that his job is secure. The pain will eventually be worth it Amos. Be brave enough for the Okemos of this world for they will cause some tiny sweat. But the trophy will be your Finance docket when the Majid Cockar commission will predictably release a stunning and sensational report exonerating you and praising you for having saved your country Kenya with your business astuteness in securing above bid price for the disgraced Grand Regency.

And who being silence and aloofness in the middle of a scandal and political storm being clueless? Well, now we know better. There is pure leadership from the rear where you manufacture a facade of fairness by creating two acting ministers. A textbook resolve would see our MPs seek the high moral ground and stick to it till the LOOTING ghosts are exorcised. But they know doing so would jeopardize their own hefty pay with no Finance minister to transact the business. You see the experienced king is not naive and would use the first opportunity to dangle that ransom in their gullible face and abracadabra the till is open again and the LOOTING continues. We are deep in the woods people. Trust the king, he hits us where it hurts most. Mta do?

Martha Karua’s Friendly Fire: Who’s Next?

The Iron Lady is said to be holding her rivals by the balls

Ordinarily, cabinet ministers are supposed to work in tandem while implementing government policy. The Kenyan grand coalition appears completely dysfunctional. The ‘official’ pecking order has rendered the parliamentary front bench uncoordinated and virtually unworkable. Additionally, numerous scheduled cabinet meetings have been cancelled without explanation while the bloated cabinet itself has now been caught up in a web of serious corruption allegations, incidences of backstabbing and bitter infighting all of which result from the Kibaki succession. Regular readers will remember this blogger predicting a vicious and mouth-watering political contest hinged to the Kibaki succession months ago.

One player who has emerged forcefully is Martha Wangari Karua – the Justice and Constitutional Affairs minister. Impeccable sources reveal that Amos Kimunya’s exit from cabinet was the start of Martha Karua’s deliberate extermination of potential rivals on 2012. Although many people wrongly attribute the no-confidence vote in parliament to the ouster of Kimunya, Karua, probably working in cahoots with Raila Odinga, met President Kibaki on Tuesday morning with a convincing agenda that persuaded fence-sitter Kibaki to phone Kimunya and politely ask him to resign. By lunchtime the same day, Kimunya was gone!

Kimunya’s political demise was so efficiently carried out that word going round now is that Kimunya is contemplating resigning his parliamentary seat as he is finding it impossible return to parliament as a backbencher and face fellow MPs even as fresh corruption allegations on him are unearthed. Kimunya is also said to be too embarrassed to go back to Kipipiri to face his constituents whom he had promised just last Sunday that he’d rather face death than resign his cabinet post.

Kimunya was the blue-eyed boy of the president’s trusted council of elders and they have hatched a scheme to inflict equal measure revenge upon ODM by ensuring an ODM cabinet minister is humiliated the same way Kimunya was. Luckily, Kajwang who was previously thought to be an easy buy has turned out to be no soft target and his legal background as well as his long political experience as RAO’s lieutenant has paid off. The same elders are campaigning for a cabinet re-shuffle that will hand their people (read- Uhuru, Kiraitu, Saitoti and an unnamed GEMA assistant minister) powerful but less corruption prone cabinet portfolios. Ironically, these are the same individuals who just three months ago denied ODM its rightful cabinet slots during the contested portfolio balance negotiations that had threatened the fragile coalition.

So clearly the questions are; Who is/are the invisible hand(s) that is/are pushing Karua to uncharacteristically seem to be on the opposition side? Could it be that Kibaki has revealed to Karua that he had already made and deal with and endorsed Raila Odinga as his preferred successor? Yes, we all remember the last Kenya Open golf tournament and the body language there. The president also last month unusually showered praise on Raila. Again, Karua remains so far the only senior PNU minister to have visited Nyanza province as a presidential representative during the funeral of the son of Dalmas Otieno. More recently eyebrows have also been raised when Raila did not protest when the president appeared to contradict him on the Amos Kimunya probe. Anyone who has been keenly observing events unravel since Kofi Anan landed in town, cannot rubbish these coincidences.

Back to the guerilla tactics of the Justice Minister, she now has her guns trained on potential GEMA rivals for 2012 presidential race. Discerning observers of Kenyan political arena know well whom she was targeting when she boldly exclaimed that the era of political god-fathers is gone. Her blunt honesty is making powerful individuals within ODM to give her second thoughts. Apart from herself and Raila Odinga, very few other leading contenders in parliament can claim to be self-made.

Sources close to the Justice Minister intimate that her next obvious targets are Uhuru Kenyatta and Kiraitu Murungi. It appears duo’s refusal to take up the Finance docket is not borne out of nothing, but real fear for Martha Karua whom, this also blogger learnt, has managed to access highly incriminating evidence on all the PNU point-men through the numerous enquiry reports that have been gathering dust at her ministry over the years. Top amongst these are the Kroll Report, Goldenberg Report, Anglo Leasing and the Ndun’gu Land Commission Report. Uhuru’s case is not made easier owing to his recent illegal nomination of excess councilors to civic bodies countywide.

The minister has accessed a goldmine of irrefutable evidence that has made her believe that she can indeed strike a knock-out punch to any of her rivals. Her close associates have been heard boasting that she is literally holding her PNU rivals by the balls and all she needs to do is tighten her grip a little for the men to give up presidential ambitions for good.

In reality, Kiraitu Murungi is a sitting duck because of the mega-deals he made as Justice minister with Moi and his people on the non-repatriation of stolen billions public funds tracked by Kroll in off-shore accounts not to mention Kiratu’s blatant interference with John Githongo’s investigations into the biggest of them all - the Anglo Leasing scam. On the other hand, George Saitoti, one of the richest men in Kenya, is now at Karua’s mercy following renewed interest in the Goldenberg scandal arising out of the Grand Regency sale.

Admittedly, Karua knows too well that her chances of being elected the next president of Kenya are slim if not nil, but then she is making significant in-roads into being accepted by the ODM pentagon whom she prefers doing business with as opposed to ODM-K’s Kalonzo Musyoka who emerged a distant third in last year’s presidential polls. Credible but unverified reports received by this blogger, indicate that a cabinet line-up based upon the Bomas draft and featuring Martha Karua as a Deputy Prime Minister has already been drafted and is awaiting endorsement of a joint secret meeting of the higher echelons of ODM and the new NARC-K.

Observers are now wondering whether this meal Raila shared with Karua and the recent unusual declaration of support to Karua by ODM’s parliamentary group were mere coincidences or a political alliance in the making?

This is the question that even the so-called experts have yet to find an answer.

On my part I think the ODM captain, once touted as unelectable, has outsmarted state house power mandarins yet again.

STOP PRESS!!

John Njoroge Michuki, Kenya's Environment Minister, has been appointed to act as Finance Minister. The finance docket has been vacant since the resignation of Amos Kimunya last Tuesday following the Grand Regency Hotel sale scam.

At the same time, Public Works Minister Chris Obure has been appointed acting Roads Minister to replace Kipkalya Kones who died in a plane crash in Narok.

Commissions-Of-Inquiry-Country And Old Stale Tactics That Don’t Work Any More

It seems that the dinosaurs of Kenyan politics still just don’t get it because they seem to be still insisting on using old tired “tricks of their trade”. Don’t they realize that they are dealing with a totally different breed of Kenyans?

Almost a week after Amos Kimunya’s attempt to drum up tribal sentiments to rush to his defense over the Grand Regency sale scam badly flopped, occupants at the same address where the silly idea was mooted in the first place (State House) are at it again. This time they have come up with yet another old and extremely “tired” trick.

Completely ignoring the seething anger and growing impatience of Kenyans, the duly elected president in consultation with his State house cronies has gone ahead and appointed yet another a commission of inquiry even as the country currently chokes and stumbles under the sheer weight of a quite a number of genuine commissions that emerged out of the Anan peace talks earlier this year.

Kenyans are now fully aware of what a non-genuine commission of enquiry means. In short when you want Kenyans to forget about something, the thing to do is to appoint a commission of inquiry and spend millions in tax payers hard earned cash in long endless proceedings that will make the participants fairly rich for doing nothing but seating in a room and listening to what they already know so as to produce a report that has a dust-gathering-corner in State House or the office of the president waiting for it as it’s final resting place.

And just like Kimunya’s tribal strategy fell flat on it’s face, this latest commission of inqury-to-the-Kenyan people will not work either. But maybe while the president is at it, why doesn’t he appoint another commission of inquiry to investigate yet anther scandal linked to him, namely the decades-old Kenren Ferterlizer saga? Wishful thinking I know.

But maybe I can make another suggestion that will be helpful for the purposes and objectives being pursued here. Why not constitute a commission of inquiry to investigate past and present suspicious dealings that prominent Kenyans have had with the Libyans (PNU diehards will love that one, please don’t ask me why if you don’t know).

The really sad thing is that this preoccupation with old political tactics is what drove the country to near-collapse early this year. The rigging of the presidential vote (now confirmed by a new American exit poll) was done in almost exactly the same way a parliamentary seat in a Nairobi constituency was stolen in the late 60s by the same people. Why wasn’t the rigging of the presidential vote at least done professionally (the way Moi used to do it)? Then, mercifully, many precious Kenyan lives would have been saved.

BUT maybe on second thoughts Kenyans should just throw in the towel and submit themselves to endless commissions of inquiries. Here are a few suggestions for commissions that should be constituted immediately to address “urgent” issues of national concern.

i) A commission of inquiry should be set up right away to investigate the duly existing first lady and find out whether she is just a serial “slapper” or something more. The commission’s terms of reference will include investigating why the first lady made a dramatic come-back purchasing hair-pieces in the streets of Nairobi and why she did so when the duly elected president was out of the country. Suggested commission chairman:- Gitobu Imanyara assisted by elders from a certain clan in Meru (translators to be provided.)

N.B. This commission is especially recommended since translations will take ages and the commission can therefore appropriately drag on for a very long time thus maximizing on allowances paid and also ensuring that Kenyans will be so exhausted about the whole thing by the time the commission ends (earliest estimated year it can end is 2013) that they will be just relieved to see the end of it. And nobody will ever ask such a pumbavu question again.

ii) With all due respect a commission of inquiry should be constituted to investigate and find out who is the president’s true wife and why Mary Wambui (whom we have been told by an official statement from State House is NOT a member of the president’s family) has state security guarding her residence in Lavington around the clock. Suggested commission chair: Lucy Kibaki

iii) Another commission of inquiry should be appointed to investigate what kind of pumbavu ghosts are in the d*** Grand Regency Hotel that have caused a good “my conscience is clean” cabinet minister who previously got away with much to finally meet his Waterloo. Terms of reference will include suggesting appropriate exorcising action to be taken. Suggested commission chairperson: Margaret Wanjiru MP for Starehe.

iv) Commission of inquiry to investigate whether it is true that the wife of a certain president of Kenya pushed a wheelchair right inside the State house swimming pool with a very important VIP seated on it. Suggested chairperson for this very important commission of inquiry: Mary Wambui (political activist).

v) Commission of inquiry to investigate the 10^th parliament and where exactly the Amos Kimunya censure motion really came from and what the motives of the pumbavus who launched it really were. Special terms of reference to focus on MPs Dr Bonny Khalwale and Charles Kilonzo and find out why they were so funny in their contributions in the house during the debate to censure Kimunya and to recommend appropriate action against them for their sterling performances that still has many Kenyans rolling over in laughter including this blogger. Suggested commission chairman: Amos Kimunya assisted by U. M. Kenyatta.

vi) Commission of inquiry to investigate Koinange street and what goes on there daily after 7:30 PM and the political personalities involved. Special arrangements to be made so that at least half the commission sessions are held at the said K street. Suggested chair: A certain cabinet Minister (name with-held for legal reasons), assisted by Moneybags Livondo (political activist).

vii) Yet another Commission of inquiry should be set up immediately to investigate where Raila Odinga buys his suits and where Amos Kimunya gets his colognes. Suggested chairperson: Esther “Mama Supuu” Passaris, assisted by Phil of Kumekucha.

viii) Finally a commission of inquiry should be set up to examine all past commissions inquiries and determine whether allowances paid and money spent was enough (a lot more can be spent on this good cause as other less important issues like Pumbavu IDPs take a back burner. The commission should make recommendations on how to increase remunerations to future commissioners now that the KRA is increasing it’s efficiency all the time and collecting more taxes. Suggested Chair retired President Moi, assisted by Kamlesh “Paulo” Pattni.

P.S. Police commissioner Maj Gen Hussein Ali this week told a commission investigating post-election violence that if the situation were to repeat itself today he would do exactly the same thing he did earlier this year “without changing a single thing.”. He emphasized that the police did not use excessive force to quell post-election violence.

Those statements must have sent a chill down the spines of numerous Kenyans who know better. Like medical workers who removed police bullets from innocent Kenyans whose only crime was to be poor and slum dwellers and morgue attendants who received bodies of toddlers and pregnant women even as numbers of the death were downplayed.

So this weekend (from Saturday right through to Sunday) in our brand new weekend special series we will have a Kenya police weekend special. Weekends are sure never again to be boring—especially when there is no breaking news—here in Kumekucha because this weekend and every weekend to follow, I will feature the funniest and also the most bizarre stories about various hot topics of the day, tomorrow I launch the series with my hilarious but also informative Kenya police special.

Read fascinating information from the most unorthodox methods used by CID officers to track down criminals and thugs (trust me you don’t want to hear about these bizarre and out of this world methods used, including “techniques” employed by one famous lady officer) to Kumekucha’s very own account of 48 hours in the hands of the dreaded, blood thirsty merciless police who made innocent Kenyans create and confess political crimes that they had never committed during the dreaded Mwakenya crackdown in the early 80s.

It is all happening right here in Kumekucha.

Predictable Leadership from the Rear

The king of impunity is back at his element best. In his characteristic style of utter contempt to national mood and public opinion he has fallen back to the tried and tested COMMISSION OF INQUIRY. The outcome is already drafted. But before that good old Justice Majid Cocker reputation can be handy in sanitizing a rot even if the stench won’t be contained. And just for good measure homeboy Kathurima will keep watch incase the good old judge becomes nosy.

Kibaki’s serial acts of impunity make Kenyans desperate for a new constitution. But the insensitive bloke uses the same tattered set of law to rub it on our face. Give it to Emilio; the guy epitomizes the minimalist mind frame as exhibited by his loyalists. When confronted by a crisis he predictably switches into reactive mode albeit mutely only to emerge with the tired line of action that was perfected by previous scoundrels before him. It is not only the height of incompetence but also shameless damage control antic to when wait for cronies to exploit a loophole in the constitution to enable you stay a float in the face of every crisis.

Kibaki’s act is bravado in disguise albeit couched in legalese. The message: Grand Regency scam is my baby and I have the leeway to cover it up. Well, we are back to seizing moments - whose dad is bigger than the other. Instead of strengthening the three lines of probe already in place Kibaki is trashing all the committees and resources spent on them to give himself an upper hand toward showing who has more muscles. Political revenge has never been served so insensitively and cheaply.

Lucky homeboys
The Cocker commission is cleverly designed to kill many birds with no stone. The press is cleverly gagged and the subjudice nonsense comes in handy. By the time it presents the already known verdict in a month’s time the THIEF won’t have appeared before it and the blue-eyed Kimunya would be wearing rose-scented deodorant. No wonder the king of impunity shamelessly brands his subjects pumbavus. He is actually telling us to go hang a thousand times. He has the luxury of sleeping and waiting for a whole month for matters to come to a boil only to surface and splash CONTEMPT on our collective face. Mta do?

Give it to Kibaki, he never betrays his school and train of thought that is stuck at the 1960s rails. Besides contempt all his actions are so predictably boring so much so that you cannot waste your tears on them. With looters lurking in all his corners property Kenya is destined to bleed to the last drop of blood as the DINOSAUR and marionette plot the next item to be ticked to Libyans. And why note extend the goodies to few homeboys by enriching them through meaningless commissions of inquiry. Gibson Kamau Kuria must be cursing why he was overlooked this time round after successfully appearing for the son-in-laws in disguise with the report gathering dust as usual. Kazi iendelee.

Kibaki, The Prime Thief in the Grand Regency “Sale” Now Wants To Waste Tax Payers Money With A Commission of Inquiry

Latest Press reports indicate that the duly-elected President of the Republic of Kenya, H.E Mwai Kibaki, and only Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces of the Republic of Kenya, CGH, has in his wisdom appointed a Commission of Inquiry to investigate the “sale” of the Goldenberg-linked Grand Regency Hotel – which led to the resignation of his disgraced former Finance Minister and personal friend Amos Kimunya.

The three-man probe team led by Justice (retired) Majid Cockar has Mr Charles Kirui and Mr Kathurima M’Inoti as members has been tasked to unearth the “truth” regarding the “sale” of the hotel.

Apart from Kimunya, the probe team is likely to investigate Central Bank Governor Njuguna Ndung’u and National Security Intelligence Service director Michael Gichangi who played key roles in the high-stakes drama surrounding the stinking deal.

This is the height of Kibaki’s arrogance. What will the Cockar team investigate? Isn’t this a straightforward matter the CID can investigate if there is political will? Even a layman could unravel the mystery if he is allowed to go to Treasury and CBK and access the relevant documents regarding the shoddy transactions!

Isn’t this a well-calculated scheme by Kibaki to buy time, use the judicial commission to cover himself and the real truth and cleanse Kimunya? What do these commissions achieve? Aren’t they mere circus to buy time, cover the truth and gulp the hard-earned tax-payers cash? Kibaki has either gone crazy or we Kenyans are too daft to comprehend anything!

Will Kibaki appear before the Cockar team since he is the principal suspect in the Grand Regency saga? Kenyans should rise up for they are being taken for a ride. Now that a judicial commission is in place, nobody can comment about the theft of the hotel in public without risking being cited for contempt of court. What a clever Kibaki!

As I have argued before in regard to the Grand Regency, our MPs and leading media houses have been tying to outdo each other to be seen to be shedding light (or is it more tears) yet they add little value to the debate or are ignorant to the truth and genesis behind the “selling” of the prestigious hotel.

What the MPs and the leading media houses (which are either owned or under the firm grip of Kikuyu managers and editors) are doing is flying the foot soldiers who foolishly acted on illegal orders to please their masters yet

the main thief in the Grand Regency sits pretty tight in State House in his characteristic gesture of hear no evil and see no evil.

Is there a conspiracy amongst the MPs and media houses to sit on the truth or are they afraid of spilling the beans or are they too incompetent to do a little bit of research and inform Kenyans the truth behind the infamous “sale” of the hotel.

As I have reported in this blog (Lands Minister James Orengo is now basking in the glory of being the whistle-blower in the Grand Regency theft yet Kumekucha was the first to expose Kibaki’s dirty hands in respect to the hotel “sale”), the plot to “sell” the hotel was sealed by President Kibaki himself when he made a three-day visit to Libya between June 4 and 6, 2007, to beg cash for his presidential re-election.

President Gaddafi didn’t disappoint the Kenyan beggar. In his generosity, he promised to give the man from Othaya a few millions to fund his PNU campaigns. But as the Swahili saying goes, mkono mtupu haulambwi, President Gaddafi is not a charitable organisation. He laid his demands on the table if he was to help the beggar.

A beggar has no choice. So, President Gaddafi looked for the best portion in the Kenyan beef which he asked the beggar to chop a delicious steak for him. President Gaddafi’s appetite for the Kenyan beef was in six key lucrative properties which he asked his beggar to chop for him. Grand Regency Hotel – which was then the private property of the Goldenberg thief Kamlesh Pattni – was part of the six properties.

And since none of the properties belonged to him, the beggar had no hesitation to give in to the request in exchange of the cash he needed badly. It’s like a man asking you to link him to girl he badly wanted. If you have no interest in her, you would do anything in your power to broker the meeting. But if you had any stake in her, you would take off when such demands were placed on your table. There is no pain trading off what is not yours.

President Gaddafi is a clever man. He could not trust his beggar who has a history of breaking promises – both official and unofficial. He made sure the deal was sealed between the two Governments – but there was no mention of the bribe he offered the beggar to fund his PNU campaign.

A dispatch from the Presidential Press Service (PPS) to KBC and all the other mainstream media houses plus a posting on the website of Dr Alfred Mutua’s Office of Public Communications clearly stated in back and white that Kibaki and Libya’s President Muammar Gaddafi had signed an Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) Titled "Agreement on Promotion Guarantee and Protection On Investment".

Under the MoU, President Kibaki committed Kenya into granting an exclusive trade pact to Libya, making Tripoli "most favoured nation" status - making it possible for Libyan companies to start at an advantage over investors when competing for lucrative contracts. The Grand Regency Hotel was as among the six projects that the Libyans had expressed interest in the Mou.

The MoU was signed by Kenya's then Minister for Trade, Dr Mukhisa Kituyi, and Dr Ali Elisaue, Secretary General of Libya's General People's Committee for the Economy and Investment. The document was endorsed by Presidents Kibaki and Gaddafi.

Although the PPS dispatch stated categorically what Kibaki had offered Libya, it was silent on what Kenya was to receive or benefit in exchange. Why and it was a mutual deal to benefit the two countries? Of course Kibaki had pocketed millions for his campaign and that could not be made official! For the doubting Thomases, this confidential information was given to Kumekucha by two members of Kibaki’s inner circle privy to the Libya deal and the Grand Regency saga.

What the busy-body MPs and journalists should be trying to do is shed more light on the secret MoU, the content and how it was going to affect Kenyans and not feed Kenyans with empty and hollow debate – which has taken an ethnic dimension. They should have told us by now what was in the MoU and demanded its revocation. The MoU served Kibaki’s personal interests and not those of Kenyans. PNU campaigns were the personal affairs of the party and Kibaki himself and not Kenyans.

According to our confidential sources, Kimunya and Co were acting on the wishes of their master. How stupid they are acting on illegal orders just to please your master. Poor Kimunya chose to bite the bullet and ruin his illustrious career, his name and reputation for the sake of Kenya’s Thief Number One.

To me, Kimunya and his arrogance is not the big issue here. We should direct all our energies on the main thief. And what an irony! The prime thief in the Grand Regency is reported to be forming a team to investigate the theft. Poor Kenyans! Your duly-elected President is a man of wisdom. He has the interests of Kenyans at heart and we should all offer him our total support to lead Kenya into an industrious nation by 2030!

In fact, we should amend the Constitution to remove the two-five year tenure that bars him from vying for president in 2012. We should make the duly-elected H.E Mwai Kibaki the President for Life for the Republic of Kenya. Kenya will overtake the US economy in 2020 under Kibaki’s leadership.

Kibaki should stop beating about the bush and fooling Kenyans, we know the truth about the “sale” of Grand Regency!

Will Amos Kimunya End Up In Jail?

Political analyst Mutahi Ngunyi has quite a reputation. He’s the man who predicted that President Kibaki would never hand over power peacefully in the event that he was defeated in an election. He also predicted tribal chaos long before anybody saw it coming. Many prominent Kenyans (who knew better) rubbished those suggestions which were voiced as early as 2003 but in the end the man was proved correct. In fact one particular column of his in the Sunday Nation (published in 2003), which has been widely circulated on the web has proved to be extremely accurate as far as predictions go.

So these days when the man talks, everybody sits up and listens carefully.

Mr Ngunyi’s latest bombshell is that we have now heard the last of the Grand Regency sale controversy. Nothing more will come out of it, the political analyst says. And he has good reasons to back his views. It is simply this; the government has been accused of being corrupt, so do we seriously expect the same government to investigate itself and find itself guilty?

I respect Mr Ngunyi but this time round I do not quite agree with him.

My view is that historians will one day clearly identify the Kimunya censure debate as the turning point in Kenyan politics. The moment in history where the people started taking back their country.

I am also convinced that this is not the last we have heard of the Grand Regency scam. There are more earth-shaking events linked to the scandal that will follow.

For starters there is a very high possibility that former Finance Minister Amos Kimunya could easily find himself arraigned in court on criminal charges.

Unknown to most Kenyans is the fact that the current no holds-barred Kibaki sucession battle is at a very dangerous point where you cross the combatants at your own risk because the consequences could be fairly severe.

Perhaps the clearest indication that things are not what they seem to be was the public statement by one Martha Karua on the Grand Regency scam. The statement was made at around the time Kimunya had started drumming up disgusting tribal support to excuse and cover up his crimes and long string of lies, most of it recorded on national Television.

The no-nonsense Ms Karua who fears nothing said that people should not handle public property as if it were their personal property. And that those who have responsibilities of handling such property should be careful to follow the existing laws of the land.

There was no doubt whatsoever as to whom she was referring to. And if there was the slightest doubt, the actions of her arch rival in the Kibaki succession, one Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta just went further to confirm exactly what was happening. Uhuru who has never been known to be friendly to Kimunya before, hurriedly rushed to his side and started issuing public statements in his support.

Most Kenyans would pass out in shock if they knew the kind of money that the son of Jomo spent between 2003 and 2007 in the hope of succeeding President Kibaki after his first term. At one point of this circus, there was a room full of mzungus staring at many flickering TV screens at that smart Building called Chancery Towers opposite the Nairobi Pentecostal church, Valley road. Apparently they were carefully monitoring public opinion on their presidential candidate so as to advice accordingly on the next move. All that money went down the drain because what the mzungu experts did not know is that in Kenya politics does not quite work out like that.

But Uhuru’s ambitions are intact and he is still very determined to take over power from the man who gave him his name (Uhuru) when he was born in State House in 1964. The only stumbling block to his nomination were two stubborn characters who were moving at a speed he did not like one was Amos Kimunya who has now been taken care of. But the other is still at large. It is one Ms Martha Karua who strongly believes in her heart that the son of Jomo does not have “the balls” to be President of the republic of Kenya.

Now for Karua to send a clear message to her opponent there is the very high possibility that things could move fairly fast and Mr Kimunya may just find himself facing a judge on criminal charges. In many ways I feel pity for Mr Kimunya, mainly because of his political naivety which has already cost him so much and could cost him more. In this game, being the president’s friend and a close friend of those very close to him means absolutely nothing when push comes to shove. In fact it could turn out to be pretty dangerous when cover up operations take off. Because to protect those whose names State House does not want to ever come out in connection to the Grand Regency scandal, it may just be necessary to sacrifice poor Kimunya further.

Folks to sum it all up, there is some very dirty politics going on in the background.

Minister Number Three Please

Kimunya may have resigned before dieing but Kenya remains at the mercy of a cartel busy plotting on the next scandal. Two Finance ministers and three mega scams in five years. Let minister number three please join the queue for project four and five. We haven’t seen anything yet. The king is annoyed so much so that he has zipped his lips till the deals planned prior to last year’s polls are sealed.

So the flower girls thought that they are part of PNU? Sorry folks your have passed your sell by date after propping up scoundrels when it mattered most. The REAL PNU is busy caucusing on who is the right replacement for Amos. Besides being an MP the non Kimabu/Muranga/Thika/Nyeri members don’t qualify. You cannot be trusted with the keys and necessary shredding. May be an outside chance for a soul from Meru as a late payback to Mzee Mwiraria.

Kenya truly has her owners who are determined to drain her of the last blood. You see even before the King presided over the political funeral of the price, vultures singing in the first language are busy circling prey Kenya. Golfing buddies have a difficult task balancing business and recreational interests.

Lowering the bar
One Daniel Moi must be having the last laugh when the present rate of LOOTING makes his 24 years of ruin look like a preface to an intense national rape as perfected by experienced and schooled HE Kibaki. You see poor old Uncle Dan never benefited from neither Makerere nor London School of Economics. No wonder it had to take him a whole 24 years to bring us down to our knees. In retrospect, Emilio owes Toro immeasurable gratitude for conditioning us so that the national auctioning can continue flawlessly.

The 10th parliament may have made history in having a cabinet minister resign but their heroics amount to nothing if they don’t put the same energy in shepherding a new constitution. Our salvation is singular premised on a new constitution and all else is patch work that will only succeed in sustaining the present unparalleled impunity.

Poor Kenya is presently held hostage by one single office whose occupant is a silent rogue busy mauling and extermination his own subjects by his acts of DECEPTION and FRAUD. The cat remains unchained and the birds live at his mercy. Who will bell the wild cat?

10th Parliament Enters Annals Of History As Kimunya Bows To Pressure

OK... Amos “I would rather die” Kimunya resigned, but what next?

“If there is one thing I will NOT Do….

“I will NOT resign…

“I would rather die than resign.”

Those were the emotional words of one Amos Kimunya barely 72 hours ago. But yesterday the same man, without dying or hanging himself as he had sworn to do on national television, called a press conference that did not last 2 minutes and announced that he had asked the President to allow him to step aside for investigations to be carried out on the Grand Regency sale saga.

That was yet another lie from the former Minister who more than anything else cut out a reputation for telling fibs. The truth is that State House had finally made a decision and that is the way President Kibaki prefers to fire his pet cabinet ministers. One important point to be noted by those who keep on saying that Kimunya has done nothing wrong is the fact that the former Finance Minister told lies to a parliamentary select committee and to the entire nation. And he did not do that once. He did it several times. Secondly he has broken at least two laws. So kindly avoid making comments from a position of ignorance, my dear fellow Kenyans.

Anyway Kimunya’s resignation came a few minutes to one pm lunch time yesterday. That timing was very significant as we will see a little later in this post.

In a packed house in the afternoon members eagerly waited for the Prime Minister’s statement on the Grand Regency issue. But before the PM got his opportunity in the session that was televised live on at least 3 major TV stations in Kenya, Kenyans got a glimpse of the new kind of parliament. It was clear that the 10th parliament’s appetite for felling cabinet ministers was far from being quenched. Assistant Ministers stepping in for their bosses in the Ministries of Finance, Internal Security, Education and Agriculture realized that the usual standard of answering members’ questions just won’t wash with this parliament. Kudos, 10^th parliament.

But before we go too far it is important to understand that history was made yesterday. Never in the history of the nation has parliament on its’ own violation or initiative caused the resignation of a cabinet minister in defiance of the executive. That has just NEVER happened before. In the often quoted case of former Vice President and now deceased, Dr Josephat Karanja, the plot to censure him was hatched in State House as crafty former President Moi wanted to get rid of his VP without risking a fall out amongst the powerful Kikuyus whom Moi greatly feared throughout his reign. So he got some MP to move the motion in parliament and gave the necessary instructions through the house which was then a mere rubber stamp of the executive.

This was not the case this time. In fact if truth be told, the house was packed yesterday because members were expecting fireworks. Kimunya’s hurried resignation just before parliament’s first session of the week in the afternoon was no coincidence. The timing speaks volumes and tells me that State house is getting a little anxious. And the main reason has more to do with the naming of certain names that State House does not want to see named in connection to the Grand Regency (My latest raw notes has the full fascinating story. Sorry folks, it is way too sensitive to publish even here.)

But Kenyans need to be even more vigilant now. Will we get to the bottom of the Grand Regency saga? That should be the top priority that we must pursue now with all diligence.

To answer that question, there is an ominous sign to look out for. That sign is who gets appointed to replace Kimunya. By the way this is one appointment that needs to be done urgently to avoid bringing the nation to a halt because the budget needs to be passed by the house to quickly release funds from the treasury for the new financial year.

If the new Finance Minister is from the ODM arm of the Grand coalition government then Kenyans will need to head to the hills because that will be a “grand bribe” to “maliza hio maneno ya Grand Regency”. We can breathe a wee bit easier if Kimunya’s replacement is from PNU.

I am aware that there are two separate investigations going on at the moment in connection to the Grand Regency scam. One by the executive arm of government spear-headed by the Prime Minister and the other by a parliamentary committee. If there are any bets to be placed here, I would put my money on the latter investigation which the speaker ruled yesterday has to finish its’ work within two weeks starting yesterday. Readers of this site know who the main man behind the Grand Regency is, the question is whether that person and those close to him linked to the scam will ever be named.

In conclusion the Prime Minister’s statement provoked at least one MP to ask for his resignation. That MP was Cyrus Jirongo. But again in my latest raw notes I explain why the PM is in a very difficult situation on this one. The PM’s statement confirmed what Kenyans already knew—that there is a lot that does not quite add up with the hurried sale of the hotel. It also confirmed that Kimunya had lied again and again (very strange that he should say in his resignation statement that the truth will set him free).

It will be every interesting to see if the Grand Regency saga will have any more casualties and indeed what other achievements the 10^th parliament will chalk up in the months to come.

I leave you with a question to mull over. Where does Kimunya’s resignation leave the increasingly tribal Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta who was the only cabinet colleague who came out in his defense?

P.S. As I have said in this blog before, the Finance Ministry is by far the most corrupt ministry of the entire Kenyan government because all funds have to be released from Treasury and the Finance docket has the power to with-hold funds if they are suspicious. Naturally that has never happened. Admittedly it is also true that the ministry has been reduced to mere messenger status by the executive but isn’t there a single person who emerged from the womb of a Kenyan mother who would have stood up and said NO to the corrupt presidents of the past and those powerful people close to them?

Interestingly the only Finance Minister in Kenyan history not to be linked to any scandal was the first Kenyan to hold the office, a man called James Gichuru who in the early days was an enthusiastic supporter and ally of Tom Mboya. The truth is that Gichuru was in fact involved in a scandal, but it had nothing to do with signing off billions from the treasury. You see the man loved his drink (the minister preferred undiluted whisky) and what irked State House even more was where he liked to have it. Usually it was in some seedy bar along River Road or Luthuli Avenue in Nairobi. The “scandal” was when as a full cabinet Minister in charge of the Finance docket, he went for a drink in one of these seedy bars and got so drunk that he forgot his briefcase full of highly sensitive documents there. It is not known whether the briefcase was ever recovered.

Prince on Sabbatical Leaves the King Exposed

The adage that those who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat its fatal mistakes couldn’t have been more apt in the present Kenyan political theatre of absurd. Semantics galore on whether stepping aside is same as resigning. Well, egos have no circumference and you indulge in inflating them all the much you wish till you discover you are only AUTO MASSAGING. Two Finance ministers under single regime in less than five years and both booted out in disgrace for the same reason CORRUPTION.

Only in Kenya do you find a minister begging to be fired when he never asked to be appointed in the first place. The tribal and political kites cannot fly any more and they must take a detour to abyss. There is no substitute to lack of leadership. Decoys and attention deviations can only last so long. In the long run the eggs must kiss your face leaving it plastered with the awful smell. Serial goofs remain the singular thread holding Kibaki’s tattered reign. His apologists may work overdrive sanitizing the rot but unfortunately the nauseating stench overwhelms any tribal deodorant.

Impunity and utter contempt are two sides of the same coin. The Kimunyagate has just started and the script is so predictable and disgusting so much so that it leaves your stomach boiling in bile. The game of semantics is very well calculated to convey the message that nothing has changed. Kimunya has only opted for a sabbatical leave to cool political temperatures. In few months time before you say Lucy he will be back in cabinet just like Mwiraria before him. Jomo Jr and the powers behind the throne cannot just watch as their efforts become a casuality of pressure from public opinion. To hell with the court of public opinion it never made anybody a multi-millionaire.

Serial goofs patented
Grand Regency was just the tip of a massive iceberg. What we are seeing right now are ripples from the NATIOANL RIPOFF that has been going on while we danced to the decoy of 6% economic growth. DECEPTION and FRAUD are the two principal ingredients defining this regime. And these vices are executed with total contempt and unrivalled impunity. The Grand coalition has proved such an inconvenience and irritant to derail the looting gravy train. You cannot fail to see EXPERIENCED civil servants retained purposely to undercut and frustrate the annoying nosers from within the government.

It cannot be sadistic to imagine God calling Kimunya’s bluff by recalling his LUNGS. It is not over till it over. Auctioning country Kenya must continue at whatever cost. At the end of this regime Kenya would be nothing but a mere geographical location exclusively owned by Libyans and Chinese. Kenyans are paying a dear price for having a marionette for a leader. Mistaking cluelessness and characteristic muteness in defence devoid of any trace of pro-activity for leadership is the height of self deception.

Meanwhile the charade promises interesting acts with the budget debate pending appointment of a substantive Finance Minister. Amos has done the necessary shredding in the last week and only a homeboy can be trusted with the key to treasury. In the din of all the suffocating heat we conveniently forget the KING of IMPUNITY as he ruminates on the next priced asset Kenya can offer. Kenya's title deed is up for grabs now that the Libyan Embassy in Nairobi has confirmed that Kibaki and Gaddafi signed three protocols. The state sanctioned LOOTING stinks to high heavens. By the way did Kimunya vow he would rather die than resign? If only God could honour that wish we would be one scoundrel less.

Breaking News: Finance Minister Amos Kimunya Resigns

Finance minister Amos Kimunya has officially resigned.

Kimunya is still addressing the press conference in his Treasury Office whereby he announced his resignation.

He said he had held consultations with the President, his family and constituents before deciding to resign although his conscious is clear.

Update 13h30 Local Time

In tendering his resignation, Kimunya has indicated that he is stepping aside to pave way for investigations into the controversial Grand Regency Hotel saga.

Just two days ago, Kimunya was quoted at a public rally saying "he would rather die than resign". Even as late as Monday evening, Kimunya was bold enough to repeat that he would not resign as he was being interviewed by Jeff Koinange on the K24 TV channel.

Today's press conference is therefore a significant departure from his stand just two days ago.

Time To Pull The Nuclear Option?

Fellow Countrymen,

In the hallowed halls of the United States Senate, the nuclear option is pulled by a side that feels strongly about an issue on which it's about to lose. In the estimation of the senators who employ this tactic, the passage of a certain bill, or confirmation of a man/woman to a position of influence, would so irreparably harm their constituents to the point where they feel it's absolutely critical to tie up the Senate's business until their fears and other pertinent issues are addressed. That's what the Democrats did to stall the nomination of judges they considered controversial to the United States Supreme Court.

I bring up this concept of the nuclear option because I think we are fast approaching the point where it will need to be pulled in the Kenyan Parliament. It's indeed encouraging that our Members of Parliament are discovering the enormous power they retain to slow down the Executive branch. You watched with satisfaction as one of the most powerful members of the Kibaki Cabinet was reminded that the laws of our nation apply to all, not just to the small man. And you've watched the increasing assertiveness of that body, especially given the impressive credentials that most members bring to the table. Gone are the days of Chotara, Nassir and Mwenje. These are the days of men and women who understand that there is honor in being principled.

Kenyans are aware that when the coalition government was put together, there was no clause that bound the parties to stick together even in the face of massive corruption and blatant impunity. Indeed, were such a clause to have been slipped in there, we would have been glad to demonstrate our maturity by kicking it out.

At this juncture, we find ourselves at a point where the nuclear option is becoming a relevant tool in dealing with our out-of-touch president, and the men who prop up his administration. In Kenya the way to pull the plug is to marshall enough votes to pass a vote of no confidence in the president, just like it was done with Kimunya. By my count, it's beginning to look like the votes are there. Many MPs who fought like crazy to keep Kibaki in power are slowly realizing that they made a huge mistake. And they sense that the way to make atonement is to do something dramatic.

That's where the nuclear option comes in.

What Comes Next?

When this option is pulled, we must all understand that it will mark the end of a presidency. That being the case, I want to count on the fact that our leaders have not been sitting on their laurels, forgetting that the fight to deliver the nation from the shackles of recklessness and impunity has not been won. Luckily, our leaders have not been asleep. Indeed, it is comforting to know that when the nuclear option is pulled, there will be an immediate power structure to fill the vacuum and deal decisively with any elements that may seek to capitalize on the transition period to cause despondency in the country.

The march to push Kenya to the next level of greatness is ongoing. We have the brains and the wealth to make our nation the leader in medical and technological innovation, we have the capability to push forward the rural electrification program and make clean water available to our mothers and fathers in the villages across Kenya. But as the events of the past six months have amply demonstrated, these noble goals can't be realized as long as we are embroiled in sorting out the shenanigans of men like Kimunya, Kibaki and the crazies who support them.

Can Kenya Work Together?

You may have heard from pessimists that our nation is hopelessly divided. That we see ourselves as Luo, Kikiyu, Kalenjin, Luhya... If that's true, it's because of the retrogressive politics entrenched by the lack of vision of our three presidents. But yes, Kenya can and is ready to work together. The nation is praying for a leader who will transcend the parochialism of tribe and see in the pleading faces of Kenya's children a desire for effective, fatherly leadership. A leadership that will make Cerelac and milk available to the infants, uniform and books to the school-going kids, mentoring programs for adolescents and livable wages for men and women across the land.

It's my firm belief that when the nuclear option is pulled and the Prime Minister is put in charge of ushering in a representative constitution and proper elections held, we will have laid the foundation for a sustainable democracy that won't need the repeated nudging of external powers. We can't continue to be the white man's burden forever, can we? It starts by doing things right.

The first step, the nuclear option. A vote of no confidence.

For Love of Country,

Guest post by Sam O. Okello

If Caught Just Reduce Theft to Luo-Kikuyu Tiff

With suffocating political pressure to resign, Finance Minister Kimunya has finally landed a vent to exhale in two predictable soft under bellies. One the tribal card partially worked with Uhuru and Thuo is tow drumming up ellusive surpport for the Kiambu homeboy. But the most dependable life jacket is the emotive and time-tested Luo-Kikuyu angle. This effortlessly gains a life of its own as proved here by bloggers going tongs in hand wading in familiar waters as they conveniently shove the original to the back waters.

Introducing parallel tracks is a sure way to derail a race. In our efforts to whitewash THEFT we now have singularly and selectively trained our guns on source of the bad news. Witty Kimunya has successfully roped us in and we haven’t disappointed. Just look, nobody is asking the basic question of why did Kimunya deny on camera that no sale took place until Orengo spoke? Granted, Orengo is no angel but we only succeed in messaging our collective egos by conveniently rubbishing the expose/message while lynching the messenger. The script so nauseatingly predictable so much so that once cornered you readily fall back to your TRIBE and while at it invoke the bigotry byline revolving around wives, esteem, rich, poverty etc.

Trust and integrity are like virginity, the two virtues are irreplaceable. Kimunya cheated a whole nation and the most honourable thing would be to step aside to allow investigation. But again this is Kenya where the accused has the luxury of choosing his investigators. The tribal crowd are playing ball by selectively sidestepping the recommendations while baying for the blood of committee members. Mutula and Ringera must have been of sentimental values as evident in their loud silence after consultation from their respective masters.

Leadership by slumber
In the blind rage to demonize political opponents, Kimunya is latently roping in Kibaki as complicit in the scam. Whoever Amos briefed is inconsequential because Kibaki was and still remains the final authority in an inter-Governmental deal as Kimunya himself unwittingly told us last week. Cheap gloating and bravado may infalte egos but the verdict from the public court will eventually be very harsh. The politically uninitiated may smell in it the aroma of REALPOLITIK. Well, unfortunately the two principal ingredients of DECEPTION and THEFT defining this grandstanding guarantees the fact that the unpleasant truth will bounce back hitting the face hard and even politically fatal.

Only in Kenya do two wrongs make a right. Our political strength lurks behind propping expensive smokescreens. There is a first time for every sacrifice and until we start from the known instead of chasing cleverly crafted mirages, we will remain at standstill chasing our own tails. We must make our leaders know that the offices they occupy are larger than their personal interests. But again with the prevailing rabid ethnic loyalty that plea amounts to preaching to the converted.

In the spirit of elevating trivia to pole position, it won’t be a surprise to see Kibaki on TV soon clarifying that his family has no son-in-law. What is more, top Kenyan politicians shamelessly engage in sacrilege by swearing in God and Jesus name in vain. The whole charade leaves you wondering whose bluff Kimunya was calling when he thundered that he would rather die than resign. The baby-faced assassin is in SAFE hands and company, mta do? Na bado.

These Guys, Politicians, are taking us for a Ride

…But they always have, haven’t they?!...

(Please note that it is not POLITICIANS but POLTICIANS to prove how convoluted the whole thing is!)

These past few days have been inundated with scream after scream urging (nay, “commanding” President Kibaki to sack Finance Minister Amos Kimunya). The same people who have been screaming (the loudest!), have been trying to asphyxiate the said finance minister so that he will only have enough time to gasp “I resign!” before he is dragged to oblivion.

When asked to resign he said that he’d rather die than resign. It is clear that huyu Msee) has been promised protection against any ‘unfavourable occurrence’. Otherwise, how would you explain his being blasé about the whole shooting match.

Ironically, despite previous belief, it emerged yesterday that the Prime Minister (Raila Amolo Odinga) did sanction the selling of the Grand Regency Hotel to the said Libyans. This was “broken” by Bwana Amos Kimunya.

When the scandal came to the knowledge of the public, all of us remember that the PM set up a commission to look into the matter. (to look into himself and others of his kind?). But, then, so many politicians have been so loud (condemning this act of misdemeanor by Mr. Amos and co.). I just hope that they are doing it with a clear conscience regarding the whole matter.

I want to believe that what the politicians are doing (including President Kibaki and his profound silence on the matter) is different from what we were doing when we were children.

Those were days when getting a chwani (fifty cents) or a bob to buy ourselves sweets was somewhat hard. So the only “easy” sweet thing to get in the house was sugar.

I would wait until my mother had left the house and then I’d head straight for the cupboard, take out the sugar jar, dip my fingers in it and start savouring the wondrous sweetness of the Mumias product.

But when I heard footsteps coming towards the door I would return the jar at lightning speed, wipe my mouth and pretend to be arranging furniture. When the door opened and there stood mum, I would smile ‘professionally’, and ask her how her day had been.

If she made as if to move towards the cupboard, there and then my confidence would fizzle out for fear that my little “expedition” would be found out.

“Sijakula sukari, sure mum,” I would start, with the most desperate look on my face.

Mum would look at me and ask, sarcastically, “Nani amesema umekual sukari. Wewe na wewe!” but the conversation would take a different course if I had not rubbed my mouth well enough and there were still some crystals of sugar on my upper lip.

Well, I hope that the politicians are not condemning corruption and corrupt dealings while their hands are in the sugar jar. But, sadly, most of them have sugar crystals on their upper lips!


Let’s see what this circumstantial comedy avails on the stage for the matinee show.
Warning: Don’t laugh before the end of the show. You just might be surprised.
But, what I have always maintained is: He who laughs last, laughs loudest (and longest).

Kimunya Falls Back On The Tribal Card As History Repeats Itself

“I will NOT resign!! Muta-do?”

It is rather fascinating that on the 39th anniversary (to the exact day) of the assassination of Tom Mboya, who was murdered just shy of his 39th birthday in a killing planned from State House Nairobi that from the same address should emerge such a putrid tribal odor at a time when ethnic tensions in the country are still so high.

Let’s trace it from our history first.

Mboya whom some are now comparing rather inappropriately to Prime Minister Raila Odinga, always got elected by mostly Kikuyu voters in the Nairobi constituencies that he represented throughout his life (no Luo voters were imported from anywhere) and amazingly even when he had Kikuyu opponents like Munyua Waiyaki. Yet the people who rioted for days after his death were NOT the same people who had so faithfully kept him in parliament since 1957. They were in fact the people who disliked him most mainly for his non-tribal stance… his own tribesmen. In fact the rioter’s anger was even released against some of Mboya’s own constituents in Nairobi.

David Goldsworthy in his epic work; Tom Mboya: The Man Kenya Wanted To Forget Puts it thus;

“It (Mboya’s funeral) was to be a tribal burial….

“It was bitterly ironic that these feelings should have been released by the death of Tom Mboya, the pre-eminent non-tribalist of Kenya politics; the man whom so many Luo had regarded as not a ‘good’ Luo, and, indeed, not even a ‘true’ Luo.”

The political events that followed that dark Saturday July 5th 1969 are well recorded and keep on repeating themselves like a broken record repeatedly playing at the very same place again and again.

The mantra is simple; when you have messed up, fall back on your tribe and tell them that they are being finished.

Go steal and then when they come after you, play the tribal card (although you never shared the loot with them). Fall back on your tribe and say that it is a plot to finish your entire tribe.

Mwai Kibaki lost an election in a Nairobi constituency in the general elections that followed Mboya’s killing, but rigged himself back to parliament in circumstances uncannily similar to the events that followed the disputed presidential general elections of last December (read the account here). Knowing that the voters were waiting for him in the next general elections, he quickly retreated to his tribal fold and has represented his tribal Othaya base ever since. It is instructive that under the same man’s watch as President, the nation has sunk into its’ lowest ebb of tribal hatred and bickering.

My appeal to you my dear readers is simple; you CANNOT intelligently comment, let alone understand Kenyan politics if you have no clue about our history and about the man right at the centre of our political history, Tom Mboya. I hope to see you all at my weekly entertaining summaries of the life of Tom Mboya. It’s FREE.


This photograph was taken on Saturday at Rusinga Island during the 39th anniversary celebrations to mark the dark day Thomas Joseph Odhiambo Mboya was murdered. Some of his killers are still alive and well in Kenya.

Now embattled Finance Minister Amos Kimunya was at State House, Nairobi to see the President on Saturday, July 5th (President Kibaki is always holed up in State House Nairobi and is the first president in Kenyan history to live there). Those who do not understand what is really going on expected that Kimunya’s resignation would follow soon after. They were wrong. Amos Kimunya emerged smiling and looking very confident. In fact State house has very different concerns over the Grand Regency scandal which I discuss in detail in my latest raw notes.

It is instructive that it was from this State House meeting of Saturday that Kimunya launched his ongoing tribal campaign not to resign. And guess who was the only other cabinet minister at his side cheering him on during his I-will-not-resign rallies? None other than Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta, the deputy Prime Minister. Now doesn’t that tell you something, incase you doubted what I am saying?

I have to finish off this post that is threatening to be too long, now, and I will finish with the question that is on many minds. Will Amos Kimunya’s strategy hatched in the precincts of State House, Nairobi work?

I don’t think so.

What amazes me so much these days is the tendency right across the political divide to fall back on ancient political tactics, and yet we are in a very different country. The tribal card may have worked devastatingly well for the foxes that we call our politicians, last January. However this time round it may not work as well. There are a number of factors that are against Kimunya’s survival.

For starters it is clear that the vitriol we saw in parliament during the historic censure debate last week was mostly personal. Amos is a very proud man and mainly for that reason many do not like him, and that is putting it mildly.

In fact I would dare to add that if Kibaki handlers are not careful; this bid to keep Kimunya in office may end up with the president begging parliament to have his job back. It should be clear to the president’s kitchen cabinet by now that the events of last week have set a dangerous precedent—dangerous to the presidency. And to make matters worse we have a somewhat weaker presidency with fewer options to exercise to get troops back into line. Interestingly many have clean forgotten this.

For instance the president can no longer fire cabinet ministers as he wishes. Legally he has to consult with the Prime Minister before he dares to touch an ODM cabinet member. And then political expediency says that firing a PNU minister is akin to political suicide bearing in mind the ODM/PNU undercurrents that have always been visible in this grand coalition government. This will make it a lot more difficult for PNU legislators to be threatened back into line.

What seems NOT to have sunk in yet for Kimunya is the realization that calls for his resignation are also coming from many prominent PNU legislators including a vast majority of his own cabinet colleagues. This is why the tribal card will just not wash this time round.

P.S. Amos Kimunya seems confident that the only support he requires to survive is that of the president. There is another factor that makes the member for Kipipiri so arrogantly confident. And that is the fact that somebody very close to the president is right at the center of the Grand Regency scam. To protect that person, the president has to protect Kimunya.

When the Prince Stops Bullet for the King

The heat is dissipating and the noose loosening. Slowly but surely the beleaguered Finance minister is finding his footing in the predictable ETHNIC safety net. We are back to familiar waters and the mobs are ready and hungry for hire at the right price. Ready availability of a political scapegoat and party only helps to hasten the political recovery process.

The Iron Lady Martha must have imagined that her betrayal to fly kite would derail the DECEPTION gravy train. Well, she must be ruing that costly blunder by escaping with her skirt for cover. DPM Uhuru Kenyatta has promptly seized on the opportunity to politically gather wind on his sail. Son of Jomo is back with all his wits which apparently reappeared after the gloomy afternoon in Parliament when he sat pensively as Kimunya was roasted live. But not for long when opportunism is a prized virtue in politics. After realizing that Martha refused to play ball, UK has dutifully filled the vacuum to trail blaze the tribal flagship. It is succession script’s preface being refined in earnest.

Kimunya is in VERY SECURE hands and territory. Comparing the Grand Regency scam to Anglo Leasing is to miss the boat by a river. Apples and oranges are incomparable. Poor Daudi Mwirairai had to go because there was second term to fight for unlike now when all programs and schemes must be promptly accomplished at whatever cost lest the wider schemes to auction Kenya fails. The ruling cabal cannot afford the luxury of allowing the Grand Regency saga to balloon into a crisis now that debts are accruing from last year’s elections with creditors breathing fire on the neck of the CEO.

False siege mentality
Play it dirty if the game promises to deliver an accurate political punch. We are back to open competition and raw power games. The president must be insulated from all forms of exposure, perceived or real. Puppets now and respect orders from theor masters. The powers behind the serial scandals only need to play into the president’s insecurity by packaging ministerial committee’s recommendation as a clever attempt to undermine his authority. By reminding Kibaki of the common thread running through Kimunya, his golfing buddy at CBK Ndungu and NSIS director Michael Gichangi, the marionette is left with no option but to play ball.

Security in numbers is a porous defence for the guilty. Kimunya has unwittingly admitted guilt that CBK official under him made a mistake and he shamelessly proceeds with hata wewe pia gimmick that Orengo too should carry the burden because he is the boss at Lands. It is the Finance Minister and Ministry under microscope and the cross is proving too heavy. He has made a promise to resign his Kipipiri with the singular objective of only fooling himself. He has refused to remove the speck in his eyes so why would he promise to uproot a tree later? Spewing lies to cover previous lies makes you prone to serial goofs. Kimunya is battering his prostrate persona by passing NO CONFIDENCE VOTE on the government he serves. Maybe only Libyan sleuths would earn Kimunya’s trust and respect. Kibaki may just answer Amos’ prayers and engage top crime busters from Tripoli.

Sometimes it takes a disaster/scandal to galvanize competing interests when the common ultimate prize is threatened. Desperate situations call for desperate and tested measures. In the present scenario nothing sells faster than drumming up tribal support and creating a siege mentality albeit a false one. The confidence in Kimunya’s tone tells it all. Gloating that he would rather die than resign mirrors the thinking inside power circles. The prince of impunity knows the handsome rewards derived from stopping bullets for the king. It couldn’t get any hotter than last week. The change in tone and the accompanying bravado clearly proves we haven’t seen the last act of OBTUSE IMPUNITY. Kazi iendelee, na bado.

How Sacred A Cow Is Amos “I am innocent” Kimunya?

It is clear that Amos Kimunya is no ordinary Finance Minister. Analysts are now asking themselves the one million shilling question. Why was it easier to sack (by asking them to resign) the President’s close friend and confidante for years, former Finance minister Daudi Mwiraria? What is so special with this Amos “Safaricom IPO” Kimunya?

Even as you read this post, frantic consultations and meetings have been going on all weekend to map a way forward. But what Kenyans do not know is that Kimunya’s being retained at treasury despite all the pressure is a “smoke screen” to cover what the president and his kitchen cabinet are really concerned about.

What this writer finds really fascinating is the uncanny similarities between this latest Grand Regency saga and the Anglo Leasing affair which unfolded during President Kibaki’s first term and caused former ethics PS John Githongo to flee the country into exile in the United Kingdom.

Those familiar with the goings on then will know that many people went into a lot of trouble to keep some certain prominent names very close to the president (blood relations) out of the scandal. Those efforts largely succeeded.

Once again this time round the same thing has to be done and that has been the number one agenda in the dozens of crisis meetings that have taken place through this weekend. The issue of Amos Kimunya’s resignation has oddly been missing. While it is obvious that Kimunya was the perfect “smoke screen” to use to divert the attention of the increasingly “nosy press” (who appear to have taken a break from their usual furious note taking and dictation duties from politicians to start doing some semblance of journalism work), questions still linger.

Will Amos Kimunya be used as the sacrificial lamb to cool down temperatures countrywide and more so in the August house where legislators have made it clear that they will accept nothing less than the satisfaction of seeing Mr Kimunya seated in the back benches for the first time in his political career? That is a question I cannot even speculate about at this time.

However my research has unearthed the key role in the Grand Regency saga of a person very close to the president (see details in the latest raw notes). This is what has stopped many in State House from sleeping too well over this mostly chilly weekend that is now coming to a close.

But even more deadly and of great concern to State House is the unprecedented resolve that has been witnessed amongst legislators of the 10^th parliament. The battle against Kimunya has been very personal but it is also clear that MPs are taking this opportunity to stamp their authority and indeed put the executive on notice that they are not going to be push overs. The effect of this has been to shift political fault lines of power tremendously with the main beneficiary of it all being the Prime Minister Raila Odinga whom analysts see wielding tremendous powers in the weeks to come. But there is a big “IF” here. And that is if ODM unity holds. Insiders know that this is far from being a foregone conclusion because the former president, his son Gideon and others have been working tirelessly to put a spanner in the works.

What I can conclusively report is that Kenyan politics has changed once again and things are far from being what they seem to be on the surface.

P.S. Poor Tom Alwaka of the Weekly Citizen seems to have run out of stories to publish. What is it with this blatant cutting and pasting of stories from Kumekucha into his newspaper (without giving credit)? We on the ground have urged Kumekucha to take serious action because this is NOT the first time that it has happened.

Surely Tom, umesoma mpaka University my friend and if you like Kumekucha articles so much you can copy them but put a brief note at the end, even if it is in 8 points or smaller saying: courtesy of Kumekucha.blogspot.com. That is the only way to do cutting and pasting LEGALLY.

So you think alone, you can’t do anything to change the politics in Kenya?