Kutakucha Kweli: The Coming Unrecognizable Kenya

Today I would like to start by helping some folks to save their valuable time. These people imagine that when they rubbish my posts here it hurts my feelings. There is a huge difference between constructive criticism and what I am talking about. Indeed I welcome the lively debate that takes place here sometimes (albeit momentarily before insults and name-calling take over).

Let me tell you a story. Shortly before the 2002 general elections (I had not launched Kumekucha in those days) I had a political discussion with some colleagues. Actually they were my employees in a business I was running then. I told them that President Moi was going to front Uhuru Kenyatta as his successor for president of Kenya. They listened and asked me a few questions. A little while later I came back into the office unexpectedly and was so shocked at what I heard them say. I stood at the door in disbelief as they called me some nutcase and even mentioned that the vehicle I had just purchased was proof of my bad judgment. Well everybody is allowed to have their own opinion on stuff, but the truth is that I was very hurt that day.

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But I have a come a long way since then. You will know that what I told those Mr-Know-it-alls was absolutely accurate and Moi ended up fronting Uhuru as the Kanu candidate in 2002. What has helped me grow a considerable thick skin is that “stupid stuff” I have said has tended to come true. Sample a few;

a) That certain “circumcision regions” would vote Raila Odinga in 2007. A certain old man at the Coast almost hit me with his bakora when I said this. He alsmot had a fit when I added that my research showed that Raila would carry most of Kisii.

b) I expressed great fear that Mwai Kibaki would not hand over power peacefully of defeated by Raila Odinga.

c) That Obama would be the next president of the United States (My dad told me in the face that he understood Americans much more than I did and that I was dreaming. He reckoned Hilary Clinton would effortlessly make it to the White House).

d) The next president of Kenya after Kibaki will be a younger unknown man who is completely new to politics. (Lets wait and see.)

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Indeed this last prediction is the subject of my post today.

Brace yourselves, I am about to say stuff that will make your ears ring. Some of it sounds like something out of a fairy tale. Please save this post and lets compare notes again sometime in 2013 if God keeps us both.

This is the chain of events I believe the country is about to go through.

1. The birth pangs for mother Kenya to give birth to the new Kenya are about to start. My prayer is that they are going to be as short as possible. Kenya is about to explode.

Now an interesting aside here is that I am utterly shocked at the fact that a vast majority of commentators here do not understand the common man in Kenya as evidenced by their comments about people stealing fuel from overturned trailers and trucks. I just want to put it very simply. I have had the opportunity of being down and out once in my life and I can tell you that when even 2 square meals a day becomes a struggle, the whole thinking of a person changes. For instance life becomes pretty cheap and you start wishing for death. I can assure you that if I was anywhere near a some trailer that overturned when I was down and out, I would have been the first to rush to the spot to “save” the pouring fuel and sell it off later for some cash, irrespective of the dangers. I know most of you cannot understand this “stupidity” and that is because you have never gone hungry.

Now the problem we have is that there are too many Kenyans who are struggling to put just a single meal on the table every day. That number is set to grow swiftly over the next few months as massive layoffs hit the economy (read this shocking article). This coupled with the massive corruption, skyrocketing food prices and the show of affluence by those Kenyans who don’t have cash problems, is going to trigger some sort of unrest on an unprecedented scale. Up market neighborhoods will be raided by the poor and beautiful houses even razed to the ground. My heart goes out to those few Kenyans who have made their fortunes without corruption because the angry mobs will not be able to differentiate.

2. When calm is restored the elections that Kenyans go into will have at least two completely new faces (who have never set foot inside parliament as legislators) running for the highest office in the land, and being front runners in that race. The old guard will of course put up a spirited fight by fielding a candidate who will be badly defeated when the results come in. People like Raila Odinga will rapidly vanish from the radar to the utter shock of some Kenyans who still don’t believe that Raila Odinga will never see the inside of State House as president. Nice man. He’s done a lot for Kenya but that’s fate’s verdict.

3. Prior to the unrest I mention above, political assassinations will hit the country in a big way causing major fear and anxiety. Many personalities will flee the country for fear of their lives. This will extend into the election period where the people who currently own Kenya will do everything in their power to stop any changes that will threaten their current good life.

4. After the troubles, the next government that comes into power will amaze skeptical Kenyans. For the first time we will have enough selfless leaders to cause massive badly-needed changes in the country. Kenya will be transformed literally overnight into a booming African economy and a model for others to follow. For the first time it will be possible for a nobody to make it big in business, just after Kenyans have voted a nobody into State House. Corruption will dramatically reduce and a new extremely prosperous middle class will emerge and take up a very powerful position in the new Kenya.

That is enough for now. Please digest it and tomorrow I will give you some more shocking predictions as I go into more detail concerning why things will happen in the way I am suggesting here. As I said earlier, save this post and hold me to account later.

People Power Sneaks In Unexpectedly Through The Back Door

About a week ago, I told you good folks to keep your eyes on two guys, Uhuru Kenyatta and William Ruto. You can read that post HERE.

Well, most of you must know by now that Uhuru has just filed a case that has far-reaching implications to have his name removed from a report by the Kenya National Commission on Human Rights that names him as one of the financiers of the post election violence. You can read the full story HERE. Even more interesting is the lawyer representing him in the case. His name is Desterio Oyatsi. This is the man who not only got Nicholas Biwott off the hook but also won him some eye-popping damages. I am told that he is a very smart lawyer indeed. Well we'll see. Mainly because the situation has changed and continues to change dramatically in the country as far as politics go. You will know what I am talking about when you finish reading this post.

But before I say what I want to say today, I want you to add one more name on our list of people to watch so that we can tell the direction of where things are headed. Kindly add the name of this gynecologist doctor called Bonny Khalwale who is the MP for Ikolomani. Please watch this man carefully over the next few weeks and months without removing Uhuru and Ruto from your radar. Read a profile on Khalwale by one of the daily newspapers.

This thing hit me when I went to this small up-country shopping centre this week and found a huge crowd outside this cyber that had a TV. Kenyans were watching the proceedings in parlaiment keenly. Actually no analyst yet (to the best of my knowledge) has captured the dramatic change in the dynamiocs of Kenyan politics that has been brought about by the move to air live broadcasts of parliamentary proceedings both on TV and radio.

Let me give you a very simple recent example. The bill currently being discussed in parliament towards the establishment of a local tribunal to try post-election violence suspects has witnessed a strange twist. At the beginning it looked like it was going to sail through. Then suddenly substantial stiff opposition to it emerged. So much so that we can say it is already dead in the water. Yesterday parliament could not even raise a quorum to conclude important discussions on the bill. You know the big culprit? It was TV and her close cousin, radio. There is no doubt that MPs are playing to the gallery (as they should because their true bosses are the electorate). One man (previously unknown) who has made a very big name for himself, thanks mainly to these live broadcasts of parliamentary proceedings is the gynecologist I mentioned earlier, Bonny "Oh I told the Prime Minister. Noooo! Kimunya must go" Khalwale.

The political dynamics, my fellow Kenyans have changed and the have changed in a big way. Before, once elected MPs would go to the August house to cut their own deals to the highest bidder and only report back to their constituents when general elections were around the corner. That era has now clearly ended.

And this is why I told a friend yesterday that although Uhuru has filed this case, there is only one problem. And that is the increasingly powerful (previously powerless) court of public opinion. Folks there are very exciting times ahead.

We'll discuss this in more detail after the weekend.

Valentines Lies

Lies don’t just exist in politics … they are all over … in business, social life, among close friends, family members. But what is most heart breaking is the tendency for people to love and believe lies. They many times prefer to believe and cling onto a lie than face the truth as it is.

But this lie lies much deeper than you think contributing to many illegitimate kids that are not capable of handling the truth … and neither can they understand it. Maombi tu kwao ndio ya ta-work. They were born out of lies … brought up with lies … and are living a lie … and the life of lies is all they understand. Good news is that nothing last forever and anyone who is interested can be quickened into a new direction and for today let’s start from the basics.

Another day of what is apparently supposed to be a day to show those you love the Love … will be with us in a week. The town is starting to glow red as the commercial aspect of the day takes shape. Some peoples hearts are already red waiting with a lot of anxiety to see what their partner will show or do to assure them of the love. And right there goes the 1st wrong step. Valentines is not the designated day of the year that your partner is tasked with providing the love and show you how special you are … it’s an everyday thing for him/her to show you the love. Check yourself out for your intentions of been remembered and the meanings you make related to some behaviours. If you will use valentines to look for evidence that you are loved or special … know right now that your in big trouble … your relationship is in trouble.

One of the skills required for a successful relationship is the willingness of the partners and their ability to be vulnerable and ask for what they need and want. That your man/lady went out and bought you a lovely card/flowers means … he/she went out and bought a lovely card/flowers. That behavior alone does not mean he/she loves you. He/she may love you … but that alone is not the true indicator of his/her love or valuing.

So this valentines do yourselves some goodness … sit down together and plan the way you are going to celebrate your love and your gratitude for been in each other’s life. Don’t get into the mix and traditions of valentines … take the opportunity to care for each other and your relationship together … in ways that are meaningful to both of you.

And in that light … pliz don’t be pressured or guilted into acting like you care or care more than you do. Borrowing the words of a pal of mine … valentines day is a day set up for disappointment- encourages disillusionment and offers false messages. Be sure you only do/say what is in your heart to do and say. Make sure your thoughts, feelings, actions and beliefs match.

If your dating someone you think is worthy of your special attention … let them know. Only you can make it happen … and only you can keep it real.

God Help Us If We Still Don't Know The Kenya We Want

A conference on the Kenya we want?

This should have been a grand idea just shortly before independence. At that time, Mzee Jomo Kenyatta, Daniel Arap Moi and other Kenyan freedom fighters should have gone around the nation seeking opinion on the Kenya Kenyans wanted. As a matter of fact, they did. They went around the nation listening to the humiliating stories Kenyans had to tell about working as servants in white homes and fields, caring for the brutish children of Asians who called grown men "boyi", and toiled in their own little shambas that never yielded food enough to feed their perpetually threatened families. After listening to the anguish of fellow Kenyans, these leaders acted. They mobilized the folks and took back this nation from the colonialists.

Our founding fathers' goals were not grand by any stretch of the imagination. They wanted to eradicate poverty, hunger and disease. That these three goals have not been met...and seem to have exponentially grown...is testament to the fact that our post-independence leaders have failed to lead this nation. How do we expalain the fact that while Kenyans have sank deeper into poverty, the Mois, the Kenyattas, the Odingas and the Kibakis have grown wealthier in equal measure? And how is it that while Kenyans are today going hungry we are learning daily of the culpability of men like Ruto and Fidel in causing the biting maize problem? Still, how are we to explain the fact that while most Kenyans can't afford insurance and are saddled with crushing medical bills, our leaders are healthy, overfed and boast some of the grandest perks in the world?

The Kenya we want?

Who the hell came up with this idea? When Kibaki campaigned last year, was he campaigning without a vision for Kenya? Did Raila campaign without knowing where he wanted to take this nation? And did Kalonzo Musyoka promise to do A and B and C for Kenyans without knowing what we wanted? Or is this just our leaders' way of telling us that they've been so disconected from the rest of us...that they have no clue what we want? These guys never cease to amaze me.

But this I must say. That if after all these years these folks don't know what we want, they have no business leading us. If they truly wanted to know what Kenyans want they didn't have to call in Dr. Salim Ahmed Salim and Renneberger and Lidner and the bunch of Cabinet ministers and our don't-give-a-damn MPs to that forum. What they needed to do was go to the people. They should have gone to Kibera, Nyeri, Kisumu, Chavakali, Voi, Lodwar and other towns across this nation. Or better still, why not look at the face of that starving, crying woman on the frontpage of the Standard newspaper or the traumatizing pictures of fellow Kenyans burning to death at Sachangwan just to fetch some gas/petrol that might be sold so food can be put on the table?

The Kenya we want?

Bullshit.

All I know is that the Kenya we want has no place for clueless men like Kibaki, Raila, Musyoka, Uhuru, Ruto and the band of MPs who have lost touch with their constituents. Next time they call a conference like this, they will find better answers if they can hold it in Berlin or Toronto. Why? Because rather than make the dignitaries from around the globe come here to tell us what kind of Kenya we want, why not make it easy on them and go to the counties they live in?

Listen...

Kenyans know the Kenya they want. Just wait till 2012. You will see!

The Kenya We Never Wanted, Don't Need

The talking shop is busting at the seams with scoundrels waxing philosophical with cheap advice they never practiced. Listening to the former president acting a sage with all prescription for ailing Kenya amounted to insulting the intelligence of all Kenyans.

First give credit to Lucifer for never disappointing. The present spate of mega corruption makes Uncle Dan look like a saint. And Boy the old man from Sacho was in good company. He must have been smiling from ear to ear seeing his political students almost outdoing him in re-inventing a wheel that is not even round in shape.

Moi’s analogy of the presidency being a bus driver having a plethora of pick pockets aboard is symptomatic of how simplistic our leadership view weighty matters of governance. And please save your breath in justify the same mediocrity with such platitudes as effective communication. This was a conference at KICC and not another barasa in Rongai.

The Kenya we want conference may have been convened with all the good intention but has unfortunately degenerated to the predictable talk shop Kenyans are unrivalled about. We are not kissing the bottom of political and economical pit because of lack of glossy and buzzword-filled white papers. We have them in plenty populating dusty government offices all over.

Until such a time we collectively and individually free ourselves from living the NATIONAL LIE of charades packaged as blue prints, we will enjoy the beauty of every floor on our way down oblivious of the hard pavement waiting to kiss our skull at the base. With no moral ground to point a finger at anybody the chief executive has no choice but to preside over the EXECUTIVE FRAUD in almost every ministry.

Coloured charade
The thinly-veiled cover of security in numbers has been met and it is crunch time for ministers to feather their nests with every fabric leaving Kenyans smarting and dying from famine. Fearful of the radically different next political dispensation, the fathers of corruption and Kenyan gate keepers are looting anything within our borders.

The Kenya we want conference is just another of those gimmicks designed to create impression of motion with no actual movement. We are stuck in a rut and at the mercy of the scavengers as they cycle carcass Kenya.

Failure and refusal to break from our ruinous past makes the likes of Moi chest-thumb while feeling prophetic and relevant with all solutions to problems they shamelessly created while in office. Looking for any cow still standing to milk, it will come as no surprise if the KICC conference won’t turn into another cash cow. If Balala, Ruto and Kiraitu did it successfully in their dockets why not spread the wealth around?

The United States Of Gaddafi

why the King of Kings must lay off the pipe
I think it’s about time we ban the reading of fairy tale story books in Africa. These books are becoming problematic. Do you know why all women dream of a white wedding, the type with flowing white wedding gowns and horse driven chariots? The answer is simple; they read ‘Cinderella’ as little girls. They spend years yearning the kiss from prince charming because of ‘Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs’. I’m yet to figure out what type of books Colonel Muammar Gaddafi read in his early years in Libya but clearly his dream of a United States of Africa must emanate from a spectacular fairy tale.

The ‘King of Kings’ is apparently disappointed by the reception of his vision by African presidents at the AU meeting. I hear he was banging his head on the table in defeat. Now, I’m neither a medical doctor nor a psychiatrist but I advice him to continue banging his head until he wakes up from that nightmare. Who really wants to share a country with the Santomeans? No offense to the proud people of São Tomé and Príncipe.

Well, I must admit that the grandeur of the concept is indeed intoxicating. A unifying currency may encourage African business; but how do you incorporate the Zimbabwean dollar? An African military force may mean peace; but what of Kony and his friends in the thickets of Uganda? An African passport, now that’s a great idea; but how do we trust Nigerians with that document? One president; if its Kibaki, will the rest of Africa stand the rants and antics of the first lady of Africa? And how do we move on if Raila is not appointed prime minister of Africa? Now, outside of being tourist attractions, what do the bush men of the Kalahari bring to the table? And what if Kivuitu chairs the Election Commission of Africa? Ultimately, the biggest obstacle will be determining where to locate the African Central Bank; that alone will ignite warfare across the continent.

I’m not sure what the King of Kings expected from a room full of Musevenis and Mugabes but his passionate call for unity appears genuine even though the fine print in his plan makes him the first president of Africa. Remember this chap is president for life in Libya. How exactly will he enhance democracy? Didn’t he get into power via a coup? And how about his hobby of shooting airplanes from the skies of Scotland? Look, I know people reform but honestly do we want a one-time-terrorist as the African president? Gaddafi may be a man of refurbished character but he must forget ruling Africa from Tripoli. Extending Libyan tentacles (Laico Grand Regency) all over Africa is not enough.

This is what I say. A unified Africa is a great idea touted by the wrong person and at the wrong time. If Gaddafi really sees a possibility here, he should invest his money in unifying communities within each country first. He must come to Kenya to preach unity between the Luo and Kikuyu. He must then visit Sudan and scold his fellow Arabs for shabbily treating the black Dafuris.

Charity begins at home.

Who Advises President Kibaki On Siasa?

Who advices president Kibaki on political issues?

I know many people (like political analyst Mutahi Ngunyi) have asked this question many times. But seriously who is it? What is the name of the twit?

I suspect that the head-strong president who has a reputation for surrounding himself with many advisors whose advice he never takes is making decisions here against the better judgement of his aides. But I could be wrong.

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But honestly what is going on? I mean the man (President Kibaki) keeps dead quiet when he is supossed to speak and show leadership while giving direction... But then now he speaks when it would have been much better to keep quiet. What was that confidence-in-professor Saitoti statement all about? Please tell me somebody because I haven’t the slightest clue.

What the President should have done was to keep quiet and if for some reason he is scared of Prof George Saitoti, he should have used his cell phone and called the man to reassure him that all was well. However by opening his mouth he has send the following clear and unclear messages to Kenyans;

1) There is no unity or united front in his immediate family. Can a man who can’t run his own immediate family run the nation?

2) Why rush to defend George “Goldenberg” Saitoti? Is the President scared of Saitoti? Certainly he has proved that he supports the corrupt and has full confidence in their corrupt way of doing things..

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3) So what was the President telling us about the first lady? That there is a power struggle between him and her as to whose word is final? Or that there is something wrong with her mentally that he cannot control?

4) The President issues very very few statements personally. So the message he was sending forth yesterday was that what he had to say about Prof Saitoti was very very important. Excuse me!!! Really?

5) Usually in politics you do stuff to cause an impact and change things. So what has the president's recorded statement done? What has it changed? Kenyans still know that the succession intrigues are raging and that the preferred choice is obviously Uhuru. If anything the statement has told Kenyans that the President is worried and certainly not in full control. Just as they had feared.

Obviously the president has his own ideas about leadership and how to go about being CEO of The Republic of Kenya Limited, but my humble opinion is that they are not from any known management book. And so far these principals have sunk the country to its' lowest ebb ever. I hate to admit this but if Moi (who never saw the inside of a university, let alone lecturing in one as some people did) was still president today Kenya would be much better off and many of our fellow citizens would still be alive.

Prof Kimya: History Repeats Itself As Battle Gets Vicious

2002 was a very memorable year and a lot of stuff happened. Two fascinating incidences are relevant to my post today.

The then president, Daniel Arap Moi was at this public meeting and he mentioned Prof George Saitoti’s name. The topology professor jumped to his feet at lightening speed as he usually did. Not different from a schoolboy whose name has been mentioned by the headmaster at a school assembly.

Moi started off by saying that the professor was his good friend. Saitoti beamed but then turned purple at what Moi had to say next. Infront of the huge gathering he emphasized how Saitoti was not qualified for the presidency of Kenya. Some people at the meeting seated in the VIP dias with Saitoti bowed their heads in embarrassment and disbelief.

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The other incident happened at Kasarani. After spending hours lobbying delegates and distributing cash through the night, Prof George Saitoti discovered minutes before KANU were about to elect a new party chairman in the Moi succession drama, that his name was missing from the list of contestants. Naturally the professor went ballistic. Moi heard the man murmuring and shouted; “Professor Kimya!” But Saitoti had gone totally bonkers and continued complaining and thgrowing his hands in the air. There was hush in the entire auditorium as the president stood up in full glare of rolling TV cameras to give the professor “daggers”. Moi’s action finally did it and Saitoti quietly sat down. Later he stood up and said those famous words; “There comes a time when the interests of the nation are more important than those of an individual.”

According to many sources Prof Saitoti later called Moi to complain about the shoddy treatment at Kasarani after years of blind loyalty to him. But Moi had made up his mind that his heir would be the son of the man whom he took power the presidency from. And so Saitoti crossed over and joined Kibaki, Raila, Ngilu and others in NARC, the party that eventuially won the general elections with an empohatic landslide that year.

Now on the eve of the Kibaki succession it seems that history is repeating itself again. Once again the man standing in the way of Saitoti’s presidential ambitions is one Uhuru Kenyatta.

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Folks never take lightly what the first lady says. It is clear that powerful forces in the Kibaki administration want Saitoti eliminated from the succession battle early. Indeed it is now clear that Uhuru Kenyatta’s appointment to the Finance docket was no accident or careless after-thought and analysts were correct to read succession implications in the announcement.

The big question now, is what will Satoti do? Will he look at his sums again? Whatever he does, George Saitoti will never be the president of Kenya. There are many reasons but the most important is that politics has changed and the dfays when his kind of politics worked have disappeared. His tactics may be effective in stealing parliamentary seats but surely not the presidency.

I will end by quoting a certain Kenyan who apparently called in to the radio station QFM this morning. The man said;

“Lucy Kibaki should remain as quiet as she was when her husband stole the election. If it is pity she is feeling for Kenyans she should have felt it then and backed her son Jimmy in warning their father to let go of the presidency and avoid attracting a cirse to the family.”

Interesting stuff. Very interesting.

Tell Them off Lucy, Tell Them

She emerged from her hibernation with guns blazing. And Mama Jimmy took the bull with both horns. Nobody is well played to understand the lethargic leadership Kenya is wallowing in than Lucy Kibaki. She understands the sloths first hand and could not stand the sight of Saitoti’s insensitivity to fire victims.

Forget the loaded Kibaki succession political undercurrents ragging underneath all these charades. Lucy couldn’t mask anything and the pain of a mother was so thick you need an axe to slice it. She saw the opportunity and true to her character she seized with all the zeal and gusto. Damn the consequences. No amount of moralizing would dissuade her from reading the riot act.

The straight talking Muthoni threw all the caution to the wind in disparaging the Office of the President and his minister. She knows better than sugar coat fifth when she sees one. The difference between the gloomy spouse bandaged at the mouth paying homage to the fire victims is incomparable to the agitated and forceful Lucy demanding explanation in writing within 24 hours. That is leading by example and from the front.

Firing from all cylinders
The Nakumatt and Molo tragedies has left little bigoted minds waxing moralistic in justifying the deaths oblivious of global human nature towards the same episode as witnessed in New Orleans and even off the Britain’s coast last year. The only difference is that out there institutions work unlike ours which is chocking from incompetence with all powers and authority traceable to a single office.

With the GGC neck deep in murk, recent tragedies may have offered little respite to the political scoundrels until Lucy appeared on the scene. Guess it all boils down to the adage THERE COMES A TIME…….Nani kama Lucy.

It's Been A Week of Death And Horror Here At Home

No, God is not punishing Kenyans like I heard some preachers say. Why would He? The God I know has never held poverty against those who are in that situation. What happened at Nakumatt was an accident whose impact would have been tremendously minimized had people been trained to deal with such emergencies. What I still find troubling was that thousands of curious wananchi actually stood right within the area of the ravaging inferno even as the gas tanks exploded right in front of them. How could it be that they didn't sense the present and active danger they were exposing themselves to? And how can it be that my fellow Kenyans could expose themselves to the deadly fumes emanating from the burning building?

I'm still stunned.

The Sachangwan tragedy is easier to explain. Over there, it was a case of poverty-stricken Kenyans trying to lay hands on some badly needed mafuta at home. My heart goes out to them for running right into a death trap. The sad thing is that these two tragedies within a week, coming so soon after the horrible weeks we've had with the incessant bangles and irresponsible behaviour of our politicians and corporate heads, has left Kenyans with a sense that something has gone gravely wrong. Indeed, it's because of this sense of a gathering storm that some preachers are tempted to think God is not happy with us.

Not so.

To say it like it is, there are tragedies that however prepared we make ourselves will always catch us off guard. Accidents happen. However, I still think the Nakumatt leadership must be charged with criminal negligence and made to pay for the lives that were lost unnecessarily by the reckless behaviour of some of their guards. Just how stupid were these guards? How could they block people who were running for dear life? The fact Nakumatt could hire such idiots is enough to charge them and make them take responsibility for their actions.

As for the tankers, I'm speechless. Those monsters are all over the place, cruising down the streets, even within the cities, with their deadly cargo. We simply have no road-network designed to keep these monsters from residential and city premises. So is there anything the government can do to minimize trouble? To begin with, it would be prudent if a massive safety campaign is launched. Kenyans must be told to keep away from fires. As soon as smoke is detected, folks have no more than five minutes to get out of danger. Don't think of your kipande or birth certificate or your boom box which you just brought home. Think of your life.

Run!

That said, I was gratified to see the leaders of the nation out there with wananchi. And you could see the strain and pain in some of them. I hope the images they saw at Nakumatt and Sachangwan goad them to take actions that will keep Kenyans safe in the face of accidents of the kind we've had to deal with.

My condolences to all the families who've lost loved ones, and may the Lord have mercy on us if those preachers should be right.

Prepare For Trouble

Uhuru Kenyatta: Want to guess the most popular number on his cell phone just now?

There is a time for peace and there is a time for war. Since the beginning of time nothing has changed about seasons of trouble and seasons for good, a time for war and a time for peace. As the good books says, there is nothing new under the sun. NOTHING!

The dark clouds gathering over Kenya right now, coupled with ominous signs of careless deaths of too many citizens have been sending violent chills up my spine over the last day or two.

Folks, prepare for trouble. Big trouble. Keep extra stocks of food in your house, have a good exit strategy if you live in Nairobi. Or other hot spots of Kenya. At least start thinking about it. I have a feeling that up market suburbs are not going to be very safe this time round (but I could be wrong.)

I can hear you sigh and wonder what has come over Kumekucha again. And maybe that is where I should begin. The trouble with most of you reading this post is exactly the same with that of the key players around whom the events of the coming days will revolve around. You see most of you wonderful readers of this blog without whom Kumekucha would NOT be what it is today, belong to the age group I call the generation of the decision makers of Kenya. Shall we say the younger people of this country? You are the people who are about to decide the fate of our beloved mother-land. But the problem is that you do not quite understand a number of key things that have to do with your country. And I say that with great humility. It is partly your fault and partly not your fault. It is not your fault because you have been brought up during the Nyayo error and a lot of that KANU propaganda has sunk deep into your bone marrow. Yes error and NOT era. But it is also your fault because studying history to you is sooooooooo boring.

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Let me give you one example of what I mean. Many of you are convinced that Kenyans can never abandon voting along tribal lines. This is the same thinking firmly held by Uhuru Kenyatta and William Ruto (keep your eyes carefully focused on these two gentlemen over the next few weeks. You will know why I am saying that by the time you get to the end of this post.) That is exactly why Uhuru made his biggest political mistake (one that has obliterated his career as a national politician) in the run up to the 2007 general elections. Had Uhuru stayed put in ODM, he would have most certainly lost his parliamentary seat. But he would have made a point that would have now put him in poll position to be the next president of Kenya. And most probably he would not have been waiting for an unsolicited date with the Hague. But alas, he will now never be able to shake off the tribal tag. Not in 100 years, not in 1000 years.

You see what the generation of decision-makers in Kenya does not realize is the fact that tribal voting can vanish overnight if the electorate are given a good enough reason to abandon it. As it is now, they already have 80% of the reasons (thanks to the grand coalition robbery government) and all a smart politician needs to do is ONLY 20% work. Did you know that Kenyans living in Nairobi in 1957 voted in a young Luo and ignored their own Kikuyu candidate? In that year Munyua Waiyaki lost badly to Tom Mboya in constituency where 90% of the voters were Kikuyu. So if it happened then, why can it not happen in 2009 or 2010? (that's right we will have a General Election long before 2012). And it happen again in 2002 when Mwai Kibaki received a landslide victory securing a very high number of votes from all over the country. Although that was courtesy of having an all-Kikuyu race for the presidency, at least as far as the big two were concerned.

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Kumekucha titbits: After your long flight into Kenya, do you want to seat in a traffic jam for hours as you try to get into chaotic Nairobi? Or would you prefer a budget hotel in the outskirts of Nairobi?
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If President Obama could get elected in country where racism is much more serious than tribalism is in Kenya, then you need to think again. And don't tell me the US electorate is much more "aware" than the Kenyan electorate because a mob is a mob and for your information I can take you to parts of America where they have no idea who the former president or the current president of that country is.

Who has Ruto been talking to too much in private since the events in parliament last week? What name and cell phone number would you be looking for if you had access to his phone now? Let me make a calculated guess. It has to be a certain young politician from Gatundu who still has a serious problem with alcohol but has gotten away with plenty because of his famous last name. That's right. Uhuru Kenyatta. On the opposite corner of the ring, ladies and gentlemen, is Martha "Iron lady" Karua, George "coughing VW" Saitoti and that old man who has refused to go home and rest. You guessed right, retired president Daniel arap Moi. These guys are doing all they can to ensure that Ruto, Uhuru and company end up at the Hague. Of course Martha and George will part amicably the minute their objective is achieved. I think it is becoming increasingly clear that they might just win this fight, although they started as under dogs and most Kumekucha readers still view them as such. Remember that to pass a constitutional amendment bill in parliament, like the one required to establish a local tribunal, a simple majority will not do. You need an overwhelming number of "AYES" in the house. Do you see that happening now?

As I end my post today, let me say where I see the trouble coming from. As Uhuru and Ruto strategize to avoid the Hague, one option will look increasingly attractive to them. That of bringing down the house of cards called the grand coalition robbery government. Kibaki cannot seek re-election and Raila Odinga (whatever the Steadmann poll seems to be saying) is finished as a serious national contender for the presidency. That makes a coup much easier for Ruto and Uhuru, so they think. And of course if Ruto emerges in the next government, the worst that can happen to him over the maize manenos is for a commission of enquiry to be formed to investigate the matter.

Now the problem is that things are a little too dodgy at the moment for there to be no government in Kenya, even for 5 seconds. And that is where I see trouble, as much as we all want an end to this coalition robbery soonest. Secondly desperate people do desperate things and right now Uhuru and Ruto are desperate. Who wouldn't be thinking of the prospect of exchanging their palaces for a prison cell?

My thinking is that Kenya is about to give birth to a new republic but before the bundle of joy arrives, the birth pangs will be terribly painful. Mercifully it should be short. I have been right many times but I have also been wrong a number of times. Lets hear what the rest of you guys (some of you much cleverer than myself) think.

See also: Other bloggers agree that there is trouble ahead.

Nakumatt Downtown Shocker: Is This What Really Happened?

Exits Were Shut By The Management When The Fire Started?

It has not been lost on this blogger that the management of Nakumatt have behaved very strangely indeed over the tragedy that saw over 40 people lose their lives in a grisly fire at their Nakumatt downtown branch.

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Kumekucha titbits: Did you know that corporate team building programmes have been known to turn around previously loss-making companies the world over?
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They have been on the defensive right from the start when in fact sympathy at the huge loss should be flowing in their direction, insurance claims not withstanding.

For starters, even as the fire was going on the supermarket management rushed a statement to the press saying that all staff and customers had been evacuated safely and insisting that there were no casualties.

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Kumekucha titbits: This is a new feature offering our readers useful titbits of information on every subject under the sun. Did you know that a whooping 60% of companies that lose their data close down within 6 months of the disaster? And that re-creating data from scratch is estimated to cost between $2,000 and $8,000 per MB? Did you also know that we have pretty competent world class data recovery experts in Kenya?
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Now eye-witnesses insist that the huge steel shutters were shut moments after the fire started. The reason was that the management wanted to stop customers leaving without paying for their purchases and also to prevent looting. Clearly they underestimated the intensity of the fire (by late yesterday thick smoke was still bellowing from the ruins of where the supermarket once stood). Moments later when it became clear that the fire was serious, the doors were jammed and could not open. If this is what really happened then it was a rather tragic error in judgement.

Interestingly news reports on how survivors escaped seem to support this claim since many jumped from the floor above when there was really no fire around the doors when the inferno started. Suggesting that that particular escape route may have been blocked.

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Open Letter To Kofi Annan

Hi Kofi,

First of all, I would like to ask for your forgiveness. I think we Kenyans have mastered the art of disturbing you in your retirement slumber much too often. But kindly sir, please realize that the following weeks are crucial to our survival as a nation of integrity; however little of which we have left. You see, we have reached the crossroads my friend. Turning left will lead us to an inconsequential special tribunal. Turning right takes us to the continuation of dilapidating impunity meted upon us by our politicians. We cannot dare turn backwards because that’s the path to sure hell. It’s clear our only redeemable option is moving forward i.e. directly to The Hague….at breakneck speed.

Now, your travels are vast and your life experiences supersede many, however, I’m sorry to say, you haven’t seen nothing yet until you have traded your space with a local mwanaichi. Only then will you understand what it means to get it in the place where the sun don’t shine. You see my friend, we are being held in bondage by a cadre of politicians armed with the power to raid our tax payer funded exchequer for the sole purpose of their own self preservation. The plight of the common man has never featured in the political agendas of these mosquitoes masquerading as MPs. I tell you buddy, if all our politicians died today and went to their designated chambers in hell, Lucifer himself will be filing for bankruptcy within a few days. Indeed, there will be an economic crisis in the underworld.

Kofi, Kenyans are tired and possibly defeated. We are immensely convinced that the vector towards Kenya’s prosperity is not pointing at Parliament Buildings; especially if it continues to house MPs who are magnificently deficient in everything that makes a good human being…..let alone the radiance of decency, integrity and legitimacy emanating from State House.

But let me update you on what they are trying to force feed us this time around. Let me give you a synopsis of the beast. Have you ever seen a congregation of drunken hyenas marching towards the lions den? Well my friend, that spectacle begins with the proposed special tribunal to try post-election violence suspects. Unfortunately for Kenyans, the lions in this case, are perpetually sky high on marijuana. Yes Kofi, it will be an all night political dance. The whole exercise is an opportunity to reward their friends with plum contracts as they boogey away the blood of the innocent lives lost in consequence of our embarrassing elections. It will be a pompous fraternity party holding court at the executive boardroom of the Laico Regency Hotel. While we have not been invited, we have seen this dance before. As we speak, there’s a stranger in the cabinet.

But you Kofi, yes you, can help us…. unless of course the Waki envelope contained a thick wad of notes of varied denominations. I think you understand where I’m going with this. Although you may have had a few hiccups here and there in your public service career, we know you as a man of impeccable propriety and decorum. It is in that consideration that we ask you to take the next available flight to the Netherlands. Please do this in solidarity with the people of Kenya.

Now we know too well that your delivery of that envelope to The Hague will not solve all our problems; but it will be the beginning to the end of impunity. After all, we are dealing with a flock of scavenging vultures who will continue stealing and causing mayhem even with a noose around their necks. Talk about the condemned to die stealing the hangman's rope. I’m sure they have sent emissaries to beg for extensions; but we ask that you refuse to listen. They will ask you what the point is in airing Kenya’s dirty linen in public for the world to see. To that I ask, what do you do when your little son messes the bed linens? Must you not put them out to dry? In Kenya, we have been housed in a dingy hut with no windows…and a lot of dirty linen. It is time for fresh air.

Kenya’s destiny must no longer be charted by a class of conmen with the least regard of our wellbeing.

Please pass my regards to your family.

Frustrated Kenyans.

The Hague Beckons: 10th Parliament Springs Nasty Surprise

It is sad reading through the comments in this blog daily where well-educated Kenyans are still thinking in terms of PNU and ODM (and the gods they worship, namely Kibaki and Raila) when the vast majority of Kenyans have already moved on. More so when it looks like even most legislators have moved away from those tribal groupings as was seen yesterday in parliament. The 10th parliament sprung a stunning surprise that left many puzzled and those who understood the implications dumbfounded.

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Kumekucha titbits: This is a new feature offering our readers useful titbits of information on every subject under the sun. Did you know that a whooping 60% of companies that lose their data close down within 6 months of the disaster? And that re-creating data from scratch is estimated to cost between $2,000 and $8,000 per MB? Did you also know that we have pretty competent world class data recovery experts in Kenya?
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Despite the fact that President Kibaki spent a lot of time on Wednesday with the MPs lobbying for the bill to enact a special tribunal to try post election perpetrators locally, his efforts and those of Prime Minister Raila Odinga did not bear fruit. Interestingly MPs say that this was their way of replying to the president's "slap in their face" of re-appointing former Finance Minister Amos Kimunya to the cabinet despite the fact that issues surrounding his resignation are yet to be resolved.

In a smart move legislators used a simple technicality to block all efforts to fast-track the bill meaning that the country will miss today's deadline. Which means that the case is headed to the Hague (Read the full story here).

Of great interest are the new political re-alignments that are now emerging and more interestingly the motivation behind them. Despite being the person who moved the bill, Justice Minister Martha Karua obviously has a lot to gain if Uhuru Kenyatta is charged at the Hague and maybe convicted. It was difficult to miss the smirk on her face when Legislator Gitobu Imanyara blocked her bid to fast-track the bill through parliament. Everybody knows that Martha is a fighter and ordinarily would have at least protested. She did not even whimper.

Many other legislators who had nothing to do with the post-election troubles have a lot to gain by blocking the bill and causing all the suspects to end up at the Hague. It will obviously eliminate a lot of the competition for their grand ambitions.

I doubt whether most of the political class conecerned slept well last night. You see the game plan was to have a local tribunal and then intimidate all the witnesses from coming to give evidence (already a number of key Waki witnesses have received death threats). Now it seems that the Hague beckons for sure.

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Kumekucha titbits: Did you know that corporate team building programmes have been known to turn around previously loss-making companies the world over?
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Chief mediator Kofi Annan can of course save the situation by extending the deadline. However if he does so it will look like he is favouring the powerful political class and reducing the chances of ordinary Kenyans ever getting real justice on this rather painful issue. And to make matters worse the bill tabled in parliament had been "doctored" by some of the chief suspects themselves to favour themselves especially those who are cabinet ministers. So Mr Annan will be greatly endangering his image and reputation by lifting a finger to interefere with the natural course of justice that has already been set in motion. But lets wait and see what happens.

The other point that Kenyans should note is that their government moves at the pace of a snail (maybe slower), even when it is to save themselves. Why did it take so long to bring this bill to parliament? I mean the idea was to pass it yesterday when the deadline is today. Surely if somebody is so slow when saving themselves from a fire, how fast can you expect them to be when dealing with the problems of the country? Little wonder that Kenya is in such a mess. The whole lot PNU, ODM, Raila, Kibaki must go home NOW. We need fresh elections NOW!!

Will Tribunal Bill Hoodwink Kenyans Once Again?

There is a friend who keeps telling me that the glue keeping the grand coalition government together is called “corruption.”

There have been numerous instances to prove this statement 1000% correct. But there is something else that also makes politicians across the political divide stick together like brothers. It is "fear" and especially fear of a place called the Hague.

In a few hours time a crucial bill, and indeed the reason why parliament was recalled earlier than the traditional March, is set to be tabled in the august house. We all know that the president never leaves the cozy confines of State House unless he has a very good reason to do so. So it is very telling that yesterday he was in a special meeting with MPs to drum up support for the bill that our political class hope will help them avoid the Hague.

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Kumekucha titbits: Did you know that corporate team building programmes have been known to turn around previously loss-making companies the world over?
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However there is a small problem. Sources assure me that subtle changes have been made and some crucial Waki recommendations set aside in the final bill which was published late last night. One of them is that cabinet ministers who are named as suspects will now NOT need to step aside and will remain in office until proven guilty. For what? Well the answer is simple. So that they can continue fleecing the treasury with their corrupt deals to enable them pay the hefty legal fees and other expenses like “oiling” the right hands so that the charges and Hague goes away. It is that simple.

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Kumekucha titbits: This is a new feature offering our readers useful titbits of information on every subject under the sun. Did you know that a whooping 60% of companies that lose their data close down within 6 months of the disaster? And that re-creating data from scratch is estimated to cost between $2,000 and $8,000 per MB? Did you also know that we have pretty competent world class data recovery experts in Kenya?
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Interestingly when the president was drumming up support amongst legislators yesterday he pledged that he and Raila would drop cabinet ministers who are named as suspects of the post election violence until they are cleared. This "gentleman’s agreement" reminds me of another gentleman’s agreement which the president ignored in the run up to the last general elections. Despite widespread complaints he went ahead and picked members of the Electoral commission all by himself, including his own family lawyer for many years who ended up as Samuel Kivuitu’s deputy chair.

The president’s actions seem to confirm that indeed the piece of legislation being debated in a few hours time does not contain that important clause making it mandatory for those named to step aside. Which means that this will be left to the discretion of the president, who has promised… blah blah.

Give me a break!!!

How many promises has this president broken? Starting with his cry for zero tolerance to corruption which I personally heard him say live at a small meeting near the University of Nairobi that I attended shortly before the 2002 elections.

To be honest at this rate I don’t see how our fat cats will avoid the Hague.

MPs we are watching you. DO NOT vote for this "doctored" document.

See also:

The heated debate over ministers remaining in office until proven guilty

Attempt to shield security chief fails

How can Nakumatt Downtown burn in broad daylight? Kenyans ask as relatives say loved ones who were around the supermarket are still missing.

The Woman Kenya Wanted To Forget

The Late Pamela Mboya: The happiest day of her life? But many tragedies were to follow.


TJ’s brave woman passes on

Two days ago I was dumbfounded when I received news of the death of Pamela Mboya. Pamela is of course the widow of Tom Mboya. She died in a South Africa hospital while undergoing treatment.

What made me really sad is that she has carried with her to the grave secrets that would have helped put together conclusive evidence to charge the people who murdered her husband who continue to walk scot-free enjoying their lives greatly thanks to their ill-gotten wealth.

Even sadder was Pamela’s last ditch effort in early 2008 to get the information to Kofi Annan when he was here mediating peace after the post-election violence.

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Kumekucha titbits: This is a new feature offering our readers useful titbits of information on every subject under the sun. Did you know that a whooping 60% of companies that lose their data close down within 6 months of the disaster? And that re-creating data from scratch is estimated to cost between $2,000 and $8,000 per MB? Did you also know that we have pretty competent world class data recovery experts in Kenya?
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So, is Mboya’s assassination related to the post election troubles?

You bet it is. You see in my view the culture of impunity and Muta-do? Started on July 5th 1969 (the day the two shots that ended Mboya's life rung out outside a chemist's shop on Moi Avenue). Very prominent persons in government killed Mboya and Kenyans knew that but what would they do against the mighty Kenyan government?

Barack H. Obama senior. His friends insist that his problems started after he testified at the Mboya trial.

You see after Mboya’s death, there were serious unprecedented chaos in Nairobi. So much so that during his funeral service at Holy Family Basilica in Nairobi, a visibly shaken President Kenyatta was unable to read his speech and it had to be read on his behalf by a member of the cabinet Mr Ayodo. Outside riot police battled with angry mobs. But the Kenyatta government finally overcame that crisis and that is how impunity was entrenched in Kenya. Because it was always asked; if we killed Mboya and nothing happened, what else can we not do? That question was definitely asked when JM Kariuki was murdered in 1975 and even in the Moi days when Robert Ouko was bumped off.

Today Kenyans know that despite what the US ambassador is trying to say (President Obama, please make that change quick. We can’t stand this guy!!!) Kenyans know in their knowing that the grand coalition government is the most corrupt government ever. It makes Moi and his cronies look like saints. But Kenyans Muta-do? But even before that, Mwai Kibaki rigged the presidential vote in his favour in a less than clinical way. However he is now the president. Muta-do?
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Kumekucha titbits: Did you know that corporate team building programmes have been known to turn around previously loss-making companies the world over?
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An interesting aside here is that Barack Obama Senior’s friends insist that his troubles started after he testified at the Mboya murder trial where a man called Nahashon Njenga said openly, why accuse me, what about the “Big man”? Implying that he had been sent on the hit by some “Big man”. Obama of course was airlifted to the US for studies by Mboya who sourced financing and made all the arrangements.

Indeed so was young Pamela before she got married to Tom. Pamela was on the same flight as Prof George Saitoti another beneficiary of the airlifts. She was the daughter of a close political associate of Mboya’s called Walter Odede. In the photo carried on this page taken on Pamela’s wedding day, she looks extremely happy (which bride wouldn’t, getting married to such a dashingly handsome man as Mboya whom many saw at the time as the most eligible bachelor in Kenya?) However little did she know that the years that were to follow were to be no bed of roses. Incidentally Mboya’s best man at the wedding, Charles Njonjo is a prime suspect in the assassination of Mboya along with Charles Rubia and Mbiyu Koinange (Jeff Koinange’s grand dad).

The image of Pamela that stands most prominently on my mind was from a clip taken of her arriving the Holy Family Basilica for the funeral service of her husband, dressed in the fashionable minis of the time. She broke down and collapsed right at the stairs of the church.

To her credit over the years she never re-married and saw it fit to keep the Mboya name as alive as possible. Tragedies in the family were plenty. Mboya’s brother was killed in a road accident a few years later and then her first born son Peter Mboya died in a mysterious motorcycle accident along Waiyaki way in the 90s.

Pamela was a really brave woman who went through a lot. I pray that it was NOT all in vain.

So long Pamela. And Thanks. We’ll take it from here.

It Rained In Nairobi Through The Night

Rain shouldn't be a big deal, right?

Wrong.

There's something about rain that just makes me excited. When it rains at daytime, I mean the soft, silent type, the gentle tap taps of the drops always pull me to the window to watch and marvel at the sudden freshness the waters from the sky bring down upon us. The effect of that freshness is always a renewal on a thirsty, dusty earth. But more so, it's a way of nature reminding us of the need for us to appreciate the beauty of the greenery around us, the blooming of colourful flowers and the delicate dance of succulent fruits as they sprout off the branches of guava and mango trees.

Rain.

So as I slept my night away in a Nairobi suburb, I felt sweet to be in a nation the Lord has blest with so much. We have some of the most beautiful people in the world. In fact, yesterday as I walked down Moi Avenue in the city, I took my time to admire my fellow countrymen. I watched the men in their elegant suits, the women dangling on high heels and dressed to kill, the adolescents catching matatus that promised the indulgence of the loudest Jua Cali, Wahu and some Western music, and the mamas/mothers in a hurry, anxious to get home to their children, the ones they left at home with the maids in the morning.

In moments such as these, I always stop to thank God for Kenya. Yes, we have one of the most wretched governments in the world, and yes our people are starving in the countryside, and yes our children are not in school because their teachers are fighting for better pay, and yes corruption has come back to us full-force, but look on the brighter side with me this morning. Isn't it a blessing that we could wake up to a renewed city because the heavens sent rain upon us?

As we enjoy the calm and freshness of this day, may it be our hope and prayer that our leaders can see themselves in the role of rain...so that their actions may have a renewing and refreshing effect on the people of our beloved nation.

God bless Kenya!

Open Letter To President Barack H. Obama

Also published a few minutes ago: The sins of Raila Odinga

Dear Mr President,

Let me start by congratulating you and wishing you all the best in the herculean task you have ahead of you.

I am of course aware that you have a lot on your mind just now and the subject of this letter may look like some annoying nuisance just now, but please sir, hear me out.

There are a lot of terrible things that your predecessor George W. Bush did that will take a long time to be corrected and some may never be put right at all, even in the next 1000 years.

The subject of this letter is to draw your attention to one such mistake made right here in Kenya which is going to cause serious trouble very soon if nothing is done.

I am sure that you are aware that American policies over a long time have allowed impunity to thrive in Kenya and other third world countries and this culminated in the post-election skirmishes in December 2007. As usual the Americans took the lead in solving the problem which ironically they had played the biggest role in creating. Am sure you are already aware of what I am talking about.

Now, Mr President the poor Kenyan people who voted decisively are stuck with a coalition government that they did NOT vote for. We are stuck with an American idea created to clean up a mess which the Americans heavily contributed to. This bloated cabinet and government is a huge burden to the people especially when you add the huge salaries legislators have ordained for themselves. Not to mention the fact that this coalition government has already registered itself in the annals of our history as the most corrupt ever.

The main reason for my writing you this note is that even as you read it, dark clouds are rapidly gathering in the horizon that will culminate in such a serious blood bath in Kenya that the last skirmishes where thousands died will look like Christmas party (to quote the words of a Judge Kriegler).

The Kenyan people have been able to take a lot lying down over the years however even a cowardly dog becomes extremely dangerous when it is cornered. I am afraid that is exactly where the Kenyan people are now. And this could not have happened at a worse time because there is serious hunger and famine sweeping across the country. Add that to the deep still-unresolved-wounds of December 2007 and the aftermath and you will realize, Mr President that what we have here is a keg of gunpowder and gasoline with sparks flickering only inches away.

Your administration does NOT need an extra crisis of this magnitude in Africa and I think you can take some steps early using your good office to right some of the wrongs that have been done against the Kenyan people and in the process pre-empt what could be as big a blood bath as the Rwandan problem which co-incidentally happened the last time a democrat was in the White House.

I think you need to help Kenyans return to the polls as soon as possible maybe with a foreign or international constituted body to run the elections. The truth is that Kenyans are fed up with the current crop of leaders. One really sickening thing is that they are still thinking and planning their things along tribal lines. For example a recent cabinet re-shuffle by the president illegally in power put his Kikuyu tribesman in the powerful Finance portfolio, which his opponents have correctly interpreted to mean that he is digging in for war.

I am persuaded that after your inspiring election win against all odds, Kenyans are ready to vote out their tribal chiefs and usher in a brand new generation of leaders who will make Africa proud. I think that in planning any election, efforts must be made to register as many young people to vote as possible. Sir, the youngsters of Kenya are crazy about you and I think they are ready to do something really big here in Africa.

In writing this I know you are bold and have already demonstrated that in so many ways. So let me admit that in helping out your Kenyan brothers in this problem, I am sure your critics will be many both in America and even here in Kenya. But you will be doing the right thing. I am sure. And with a strong stable new democracy in place in Kenya, it will make your work in the region a lot easier.

Good day Mr President and thank you for your time.

Also published a few minutes ago: The sins of Raila Odinga

Why is SEO training so important?

Ever visited The Olive Garden Hotel in Nairobi?

Who is afraid of Kenyans in the diaspora?

This Is A Quagmire

We are stuck!

Tell me, what in the world happened to Prime Minister Raila Odinga? Is this the same man we thought was a democrat and voted for in droves? Is this the man the Diaspora Kenyans welcomed to cities across the globe, hailing as the man to bring needed change to Kenya? How can it now turn out that he is railing against the media, threatening to deal with "...a certain media house?" And how did it happen that his party was not in Parliament to stop the passage of a bill that was to gag the media? Incidentally, have you heard the PM or any of his brigades talk about reversing that dreadful signature the President scribbled somewhere to bring the law to life? In my opinion, all these incidents amount to this: Raila Amollo Odinga is no democrat, and neither is he a reformer. This man may well be a dangerous dictator hiding his true colors from us until we make the big mistake of electing him president.

Let us rehearse for a moment the Raila we've come to know since he became Prime Minister. He started off by trying to betray his friend and erstwhile fighter, William Ruto. It took the threat of a serious rift in the ODM for him to change his mind. Next came the issue of unga. He went out of his way to assure us that prices would immediately go down. Tell me if they have. Then came the gas/petrol mess. Apparently we should be reassured by the fact that he didn't know what was going on there, so he is clean. And the corruption that's now roiling the Kibaki-Raila administration? The two principals have found a way to deal with it: Collective responsibility. If this is not a quagmire, what is?

In fact, what should we make of Raila's son's alleged involvement in shifting of corn/maize from its intended point of delivery to Southern Sudan? And what should we make of his younger son's involvement in crashing a government BMW when the rest of us were asleep? What, I ask, should we make of the Prime Minister's increasing agitation and his wish to shut us up? Is it because he doesn't want his increasing goofs to hit the headlines? Or is this just a man who being in the government has finally exposed his true character?

We have four more years to go with this painful load we're carrying called the Coalition Government. In that time, the full character of all the key players in this Kenyan version of a Russian Roulette will be revealed. But if what we have seen in all of them, especially my brother Raila, is anything to go by, we're in deep trouble. As we have called for in this and other forums, the time to seek new leadership has come. We must be prepared to lock horns with Kibaki's man, Uhuru Kenyatta, or we will watch as Kenya goes to the dogs in the year of our Lord 2012.

And just like Mutahi Ngunyi yesterday, let me pledge my support and admiration for the teachers who are fighting for "Haki Yetu." Teach us how to deal with and defeat the insensitivity of this cartel that has its grip tightly on Kenya's throat.

We shall overcome!

Kimunya Shames Lynch Mob, Bounces Back Big

True to his vow Hon Kimunya never died and has ashamed the lynch mob. Forget what the Cockar report says about CBK Governor Prof Ndung’u and Kimunya that the two were economical with the truth in disposing off the Grand Regency Hotel to Libyans without regard to due process. Leaves you wondering why the truth should be generously served to a constipating country.

Justice Cockar and his commission their work and earned their pecks. But the commission must be ashamed of going outside their mandate in disparaging Prof. Ndung’u as dishonest and lacking in good faith, credibility and transparency. The really industrious only learn those in school and must be shun them like a plague in pursuit of prosperity.

Kenyans must learn to MOVE on and accept the fact that Kibaki only did what the law prescribed. All the talk about court of public opinion is nothing but hot air that only succeeds in warming the inner circumference of what burden your shoulders while the outer body is left freezing in acute impunity.

The Finance ministry is no child's play to be entrusted to minions. Hon Uhuru has all it takes to steer the portfolio to GREAT HEIGHTS in accomplishing the good work left unfinished by his predecessor and successor at Trade ministry. You don’t get power to please adversaries but to show might and rule. That is exactly what Kibaki as exercised. Our rogue parliament must be ignored for crying foul about Kimunya's reappointment to the cabinet.

The immoral fountain of corruption erected by Kanu leadership is receiving generous dose of water from experienced hands. The handy Asian connection only need smart Kimunya as Trade Minister and together with DPM Uhuru holding the purse strings, even MV Faina holding GOSS arms will soon be released by the pirates and Kenya will be left smiling with her fat commission.

Master stroke of genius
With Jomo Junior's able hands, Kibaki can practice his economic genius of yore that earned him a second undergraduate degree (first class honours) at the prestigious London School of Economics. Kibaki’s policy to adopt siege mentality in the face of corruption charges was a master stroke. Security in numbers is the best policy to spread wealth among cronies as the masses scavenge wild roots for dinner. Denial is best lived in safe numbers by joining yourself at the hip.

Well, history has a way of repeating itself albeit brutally to those who refuse to learn from it. Kenya is being run by gate keepers who perfected the art during Kenyatta’s sunset years as a senile president. The present government is run by safe clique of trusted and tested scoundrels who know just too well what is at stake. And we will be all the merrier with episodes of impunity mutating into all their known and unknown variants.

Kenya Nchi Yetu

It’s the desire of every normal human being to be in an environment where they can further their dreams and hopes as they go about doing their everyday business to build their lives. Be they children the very young at home or those going to school, the young adults in colleges or those starting life after school or the adults and young parents, old parents or grandparents or the older citizens. Every day is a day to improve their living conditions (or enjoy the fruits of their labour).

But when you see a people despair and reach a point where they are totally OK with all the evil going on or they are just silent doing nothing … just know that something is very wrong and they are simply at a point where they are consider “not normal”. The normal behavior of a human being to improve life at all times for the betterment of everybody around them … even when all seems pretty cool.

Of coz we can go to the details of the reasons why they despairing but that will take us no where but keep us Kenyans in the same place … experiencing the same things for decades, only that they keep getting bigger in magnitude.

The legacy of evil we see in the nation must be dealt with. As Kenyans, as normal people, it would be “not normal” to always make noise expecting noise to sort things out. What are we as the people doing to eliminate the evils? Sources of disunity must be faced and corrected by all means. Kenyans should never have room for ethnic hatred. We have experienced what hate groups can do … the hate groups that preach bigotry and prejudice. We have to use all our resources to eliminate them … to bring them down. We all know the simple rules of life. Love your neighbour as yourself, do unto others what you want done to you, work honestly for what you need, etc. Let us stop compromising these principals and standards … let us never abandon them.

Be aware of the temptations of pride, bribery, self importance, greed. These will always keep us behind. We should be accountable for each an every single thing we do. Planing for the long term as we do what we should be doing right now correctly, wholeheartedly and lovingly … and at all times upholding the marks of democracy and freedom.

We have every right to dream heroic dreams … and why not, the world is made by the dreamers. We need to dream that we can do better than before and have and keep the faith that the dream will come true. And then act and the time to act is NOW.

Let us keep the hope alive and burning … as we walk our talk. Let those that come after us say that we did what could be done to make things right ... we did what we could to make the walk easier.

Why The Grand Coallition Government Must Go NOW

Who will this silly cabinet re-shuffle help?

After the President allegedly “read the riot act” to his ministers in yesterday's cabinet meeting kumbe the man was preparing to do a cabinet re-shuffle the next day which was announced in the middle of the day today.

One would have thought that he would have followed up his dressing down of the cabinet with some subtle signs. Like moving Messrs William Ruto and Kiraitu Murungi from the Agriculture and Energy dockets and putting other people there who will facilitate proper investigations in to what exactly happened. Even the ancient minister of Education should have been moved for his pedestrian way in handling the teacher’s strike as we complete a full week with our children basking at home and increasing expenses in the house in this usually “dry” January month. Instead Emilio’s agenda seems to be quite different and it is NOT in the interests of the Kenyan people.

Uhuru Kenyatta has been appointed Finance Minister and Amos Kimunya bounces back into the cabinet as minister of Trade. Now let me ask a question. Is the ministry of finance a preserve of the house of Mumbi only? Surely!! There are two ministries in Kenya that are notorious for being the preserve of certain tribes. One is Finance (where even business is transacted in Kikuyu) and the other is the Ministry of Health’s Afya house which can easily be mistaken for a market in Ukambani courtesy of the 5 years Charity Ngilu spend in that ministry during President Kibaki’s first tenure. The nice lady could not find any other tribe to employ at the ministry just as Emilio cannot find any other tribe for the Finance docket. I hope poor Oburru Odinga, the Finance assistant minister understands kikuyu.

Analysts see this joke of a cabinet re-shuffle as part of the PNU agenda to re-position itself for life after the current coalition by having its’ point men in strategic and important ministries. As deputy prime Minister and minister of Finance, Uhuru now becomes an extremely powerful individual.

But I think all this nonsense is really beside the point. Kenyans have now said enough is enough. The coalition government must go and we go back to the polls. We CANNOT wait until 2012. Hatuwezi kuvumilia. We need new leadership in Kenya now. For better or for worse. The coalition government must go NOW. The bloated most corrupt cabinet in the history of Kenya must go NOW. We want fresh elections NOW. The details of how that will be done with no electoral commission can be worked out. But Kenyans have spoken. The coalition government MUST GO. The whole damn LOT.

STOP PRESS: Latest Steadman poll shows that only 20% Kenyans have faith in the Coalition government.

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Convenient Leakages From The Cabinet

Will even a Tana River crocodile swallow the latest move by Kibaki to hoodwink donors?


The Kenyan cabinet traditionally meets on Thursdays. Yesterday there was a well publicized meeting of the bloated 43-ministers-grand-coalition cabinet.

Now the deliberations in these meetings are confidential and what is supposed to happen is that anything that the president wants the people to know that was discussed in the meeting will usually be told to the public via a government statement of some sort.

But that is NOT what happened yesterday. Instead some cabinet minister violated the official secrets act and spilled all the beans on what was discussed at the session. Or did they?

Actually keen observers should have noticed by now that the government usually releases some “convenient leakages” of their deliberations to the media when it suits their purposes. Can you guess their media of choice for these so-called leakages? Well let me tell you and you can just go and do your own research to verify. It is always the Daily Nation.

Read the Nation story for yourself.

It seems that the government or rather the president wants us to know that he told off his ministers. Slapped their wrists, so to speak. You know when you mother is making chapatis and you cannot wait for them to be ready and you sneak your hand into the pan and cut off a piece? She slaps your wrist while laughing and lets you get away with the piece of chapati that you have stolen.

So in this case the president is slapping wrists instead of firing ministers and arraigning them in court for the criminal offences they have committed (some of which have directly led to the death of many Kenyans—like the maize scandal).

My deep suspicion is that yesterday’s "convenient leakage" was for the benefit of the donors. You see the Kenyan government is very broke. And this is the worst of times for the government to admit that with all the mega-scandals involving the cabinet that have been hitting the headlines. And yet the same government need to address the famine situation urgently and this is where donors come in. Kibaki and Raila have been doing lots of begging recently for food aid. Yesterday “leakage” was designed to show donors that the president is doing something to address the corruption in his cabinet.

Hehehehehehehehehehe. Very funny. Sorry. Not even a hungry Tana River crocodile can swallow that one.

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Why Renneberger Must Leave Nairobi

Ambassador Renneberger disgraced himself.

Growing evidence has shown that Ambassador Renneberger was part of the colossal failure that was our elections. It is not a secret that American ambassadors are usually sent to foreign capitals to safeguard the interests of America, which include democratic ideals. The fact that Ambassador Renneberger could decide to go against what he was sent to Nairobi to do is a breach of the trust the United States government bestowed on him.

It is now clear that the ambassador was instrumental in misleading American agencies about the true picture of events in Kenya, both prior to and after the elections. It was because of him that the State Department hurriedly congratulated Kibaki when just about everybody with any common sense knew that the Othaya MP had not won the election. Indeed, according to exit polls by a Republican institute, Raila Odinga had beaten Kibaki by no less than seven percentage points. But through determined treachery, the ambassador saw to it that the polls were withheld till August last year. He asked that the poll results be sat on.

As if that were not bad enough, the ambassador followed this disgraceful act with a campaign of deceit that most Kenyans have not come to terms with todate. He was the man who made Jendayi Frasier look so confused when she came to Nairobi. He was the one who initially made Condy seem so out of the loop until she got a briefing from more credible sources than the partisan ambassador. It was this same ambassador who saw to it that the three-way structure that bundled in Kibaki-Raila-Kalonzo was put in place to calm the waters after he realized the scale of his screw up.

Whenever I meet Kenyans who praise Renneberger for saving Kenya I feel like throwing up. He didn't save Kenya. He set Kenya on fire. He made it possible for folks who'd rigged elections to find a safety valve. I can only hope that there are people with sufficient resources and the urge to find out the true role of this ambassador in the election debacle.

Until then, it is time for President Obama to ask this dude to pack up. And when he gets home, may he send our regards to George W. Bush should he pay a courtesy call on him in Dallas.

So long, Mr. Ambassador.

Kalembe Ndile's Latest Donation Could Save The Tax Payer kshs 800 Million

Former Kibwezi MP, Kalembe Ndile: Making a name for himself with his donations.

Kalembe Ndile donated a TV set to stop Kenyan so-called leaders travelling all the way to Washington to watch the Obama inauguration on close circuit TV screens. Naturally his donation was violently rejected. Now the former MP is at it again with yet another donation to save tax payers hundreds of millions of shillings.

Interviewed on a local radio station a few hours ago, Ndile expressed concern that the government would want to waste Kshs 800 million on the Prime Minister's office. The government has already purchased Kenya Shell House along Haile Selassie Avenue and plans to refurbish it ionto the prime minister's office at a cost of Kshs 800 million.

So Kalembe says he is willing to donate his small parcel of land in Mlolongo and will even go further and build an office for the Prime Minister right there.

Now you might laugh at this suggestion but surely this is one of the few Kenyan politicians thinking in the right direction. This latest generous little donation will save the Kenya a whooping Kshs 800 million which could come in very handy at this time when people are starving in many parts of the country.

Maybe even the presence of the prime minister's office at Mlolongo can help reverse the terrible reputation that this small town has. For those who don't know, Mlolongo is a sex town filled with lodgings and hotels where lots of sex goes on as Nairobians slip away (it is about 20 minutes drive from the city centre) to have mostly illicit sex with colleagues and friends.

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President Obama’s Clear Warning To Kibaki And Raila

Even as Kenyans cheer and celebrate Obama there are folks in the country who are not quite as excited about the Obama presidency. If anything they will not sleep too well tonight.

In his speech a few hours ago, the new commander in chief in Washington, made it very clear that America will not work with leaders tainted by corruption. Indeed the fact that President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga were NOT invited to the inauguration is a clear indicator that President Obama is not pulling any punches on this one.

But what must really worry the political class tonight is the fact that no American president in history has understood Kenyan problems more. The 44th American president rode on Kenyan matatus and slept on couches in middle class estates. Not to mention the fact that he traveled to many parts of the country. Not the kind of person who will be hoodwinked on policies and decisions on Africa and mostly Kenya.

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The Bush administration in sharp contrast tended to look the other way when dealing with Nations that would help America in some way in the fight against terror. President Obama is clearly a completely different kettle of fish and so it will be fascinating to see what happens.

P.S. It is really sad that Obama senior died a very frustrated man in 1982 having given up on life. It would have been really nice for him to have lived to see today. The lesson here is that no matter how bad things are in your life, you never know what will happen a few pages later in the novel of your life.

I mean Obama Jnr is now the most powerful man in the world. President Bill Clinton in his biography talked about that man with the nukes briefcase following him all over the place at all times. That is exactly what’s happening to President Obama from this day onwards.

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