Thursday, December 20, 2012

Kibaki Had A Ball Seeing Through The Transparent Dressing of MPs


Yesterday Mwai Kibaki sat in parliament and bathed in the glow of tributes from various legislators across the political divide.

For anybody who has followed the president’s career closely it is not too difficult to guess some of the thoughts that were passing through his mind as he listened to the wolves in sheep’s clothing trying to outdo each other on who would give the most glowing send-off to Number 3 as he completes his second and widely believed to be fraudulent term.

The president of the banana republic receives regular intelligence reports. The reports usually leave out nothing and include who is sleeping with whom and what they said about him as well as what derogatory nickname they usually use to refer to him. That would explain the amused expression that he had on his face most of the time yesterday.

Kibaki is obviously a very different man from the legislator who used to command close attention whenever he stood up to contribute to various debates in the August house. He talks much more slowly these days and walks at a snails’ pace. When he sits down he does so rather heavily. The combination of a terrible accident that almost ended his life about 2 weeks before he was elected in 2002 is probably what is most responsible for the ill health that has dogged his presidency. Thankfully he is the last president who will ever be able to keep his health such a closely guarded state secret. We have our new constitution to thank for that. But there is no denying that the pressures of the office have also taken their toll on Emilio Stanley the staunch lifelong Catholic.

The presidency the world over always appears to be a much easier job until you get to sit on the hot seat yourself. There is plenty of evidence to prove that the president looked down on Moi’s presidency considering him a shallow uneducated man with no university degree who did not deserve to be president. And yet it was to Moi that he turned to help stabilize his shaky government barely a year into his presidency.
No 2 and No 3 have been very close since and there is little doubt that Kibaki’s respect for the Moi presidency has increased tremendously in the last 10 years. His preference for a schooled man over a street smart operator have prevailed though. Hardly surprising when you consider the fact that he would never have gotten anywhere near where he is minus his educational credentials which were rather high and rare in 1960 when the KANU party fetched him from Makerere to be the party's first executive officer.

Clearly Moi was extremely street smart and very disciplined getting up at 4 am every morning. Moi made his decisions quickly and was always the kind of person who could think on his feet. In sharp contrast Kibaki rarely gets out of bed before 11am and often has a siesta in the middle of the day. Indeed he was late by over an hour even for his big day in parliament yesterday. Kibaki’s decision-making prowess has been non-existent and way too slow at best.

Many of those who stood to speak in parliament yesterday recalled various contributions the president made at the height of his parliamentary career. Personally I find it difficult to remove from my mind his famous Mugumo-tree-and-razorblade quip at the height of the fight for a return to multiparty democracy in the 90s against Daniel arap Moi’s dictatorial rule. Kibaki told legislators then trying to fight Moi that what they were attempting to do was akin to trying to cut down a Mugumo tree with a small razor blade. A Mugumo tree is that thick huge old tree that will often defy even an electric saw.

That particular comment stands out on my mind and tells a lot about the kind of person Kibaki is. It is interesting that those who busied themselves trying to cut the Mugumo tree with a razor finally managed but paid a big price for it. Some are dead and others like Kenneth Njindo Matiba have been maimed for life. But Kibaki remained in his comfortable non-committal cocoon and only emerged to cash in on the efforts of others.

Still the truth is that Kenya has changed tremendously under Kibaki and he was the perfect president to prepare Kenya for the next level. Everybody talks about the infrastructural changes that are visible all over the country. Sadly some Kenyans blinded by tribal hatred and the political heat of the moment can hardly see what is pretty obvious.

This blog has been rabidly critical of the Kibaki presidency but today I have chosen to tone down that criticism and have a little empathy for the outgoing member for Othaya. In many ways one of the reasons why he has not achieved half of what he would have achieved has to be blamed on Raila Odinga whom many say did not allow the old man to rule and work for Kenyans in peace. I partially agree with that sentiment but also marvel at how a man who hated politicking so much would rise to the most powerful office in the land still a novice on the basics of a political dog fight.

Mr President, Kumekucha wishes you a happy peaceful retirement and would like to thank you for what you were able to do under rather trying circumstances. Let history be the judge.





Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Guess Who Will Gain Most From Uhuru’s Troubles?


Uhuru pictured with childhood sweetheart/best friend/now wife, Margaret. Kenyatta's candidacy for the presidency is way too emotional for Kenya's good.


The big question that many Kenyans are asking themselves this morning is; what dark forces have such control over presidential candidate Uhuru Kenyatta that they can get him to do exactly what they want? Are these dark forces from another country? Or possibly outer space? (LOL!!!)

The second question nobody is asking but is terribly important is what was Musalia Mudavadi’s motive for letting the cat out of the bag? It would appear that he is cutting his own feet by making public something so sensitive. Now why would he want to do that? Surely he must have known that his announcement will sound a death blow to a pact that some think would have landed him in State house.

One of my Kumekucha raw notes subscribers sent me a very angry email recently. He was wondering why I am always writing about State house this and State house that. “Don’t you have anything else to write about?” Another of my subscribers mockingly wrote to me pointing to a report I had written about the inner circles of TNA wanting to go for a rookie candidate for Uhuru’s running mate. “Ruto cannot be described as a rookie by any stretch of the English language…” they told me.

My raw notes subscribers do not pay me to sit down and create theories or go to bars to listen to gossip and then rehash that info. They pay for insider information and I always focus on giving them exactly that. It is NOT about me being proved right or wrong. Those with a little experience in the game of politics will know that it is usually very fluid and it will get more so as we head closer to the general elections. My work is to tell you what is happening and sometimes what’s taking place now may lead people to end up in a very different destination. Does that mean I was wrong telling you what was going on then?

After what has happened in the last few days, I hope it is now clear why I have been seemingly “obsessed” with State house. That is where Kenyan politics is being driven from at the moment. I don’t like it any more than you do but that happens to be the reality. I just laugh when people come up with all kinds of fancy, clever theories and analysis of what is going on. And some of these people are senior political reporters in leading newspapers.

The dark forces forcing Uhuru into making pacts are not from Mars. Try a well guarded address along State house Road, Nairobi. Why would Mudavadi cut his own feet and make public a secret pact? Try the same address as above for the answer. For now don’t ask me why, because I am still digging around to answer that puzzling million shilling question.

What beats me is why anybody would have thought for one minute that Uhuru stepping down for Mudavadi would deliver the Kikuyu vote lock sock and barrel to Mudavadi. Why it puzzles me is because I know the people running the presidential campaigns from State house are very smart people. But what the hell were they thinking?

Uhuru Kenyatta’s votes are NOT transferable to anybody not even to wildly popular Father Christmas himself.

In my view it is unfair for politicians to say that the Kikuyu have a bad habit of never voting for anybody other than their own and trying to apply that to our current political situation.

Let me tell you a little story. I like to ask questions constantly. Indeed I am always asking questions when I talk to people. When others are busy showing how clever and knowledgeable they are I am always asking questions and sometimes seemingly stupid questions.

The big question I have been asking is how did Uhuru grow so popular so suddenly? I have asked that question a million times in forums, villages, cities and everywhere. But those who know have been too ashamed to reveal the truth. Finally I discovered it just a few days ago.

In all the Kikuyu-bashing that has been going on most Kenyans have forgotten that the community which suffered the most and indeed has suffered like no other community on the entire continent of Africa are our dear Kikuyu brothers and sisters. Imagine a situation where you are a prosperous land owner one day employing thousands of farm hands and the very next day you are begging for food or sleeping with a sweaty smelly old man for cash to buy food at some IDP camp. Would you blame any community for getting terribly emotional?

Uhuru Kenyatta being charged at the ICC to the simple Kikuyu people on the ground is grave injustice. The people on the ground are saying; “They raped and plundered us and then they go and charge us for crimes against humanity letting off the aggressor lightly where the ring leaders ought to have been locked up and the key thrown in the middle of the Indian Ocean or even better the Atlantic.”

Uhuru Kenyatta is that kind of emotional candidate and that is the reason why the ICC arresting him just now would cause serious trouble on the ground.

Some Kumekucha readers read what a Mwangi or Kamau is saying in social forums and they assume that maybe Uhuru is not that popular. They forget that some of the people saying they will not vote for Uhuru hail from filthy rich families in Kiambu. But the political reality is that on  a small plot of 20 x 50 somewhere in Kiambu there are no less than 100 registered voters all saying, no Uhuru no voting while in the elitist families who read Kumekucha that is just the size of their swimming pool in a household with maybe 3 registered voters.

But having said that, for better or worse Uhuru’s candidature for the presidency is a train headed for a place called nowhere. He is a non-starter for the ballot even before the recent troubles. For the simple reason that the world is getting more serious about those whom they view as having committed crimes against humanity.

So where does that leave us? I will discuss this in the next post but let me give you a hint. For better or worse it suddenly makes one Peter Kenneth a very serious contender for the presidency.

This post is dedicated to my very good lady friend in the UK who wrote the following email to me this morning; “Chris , yu said it. Things are turning out funny. these politicians are so shameless. This Mungatana guy has suddenly become their spokesman. What a shame. Please fill me in with the latest. This is just like a movie. It  can only happen in Kenya.”


You will also enjoy reading shocking revelations in the following articles;

Where it all started Uhuru's secret deal with Kibaki in 2007
Just how clean is Mr. Safi Kama Pamba Peter Kenneth?

Is Uhuru Kenyatta a drunkard?

What is it that leading Presidential candidates in 2013 don't want you to know?