Saturday, July 21, 2012

Mutula Kilonzo Mini Skirts Saga

The Mutula Kilonzo mini skirts in school saga has kicked off quite a bit of controversy. So much so that it has even relegated Miguna Miguna to the periphery, at least for now.

Many things have been written and suggested about Mutula's controversial remarks but what Kumekuchans need to know is that this man will seek a significant office in the upcoming general elections and he is smart enough to know how powerful the vote from young Kenyans is going to be this time round. And so the man spoke with votes uppermost on his mind. Although he has now clarified that he meant short skirts and not mini skirts (my question is what is the difference? How short is a short skirt and how mini is a mini skirt?)

Mutula himself has quite an interesting and colourful past with lasses in his office. Read that sensationally amazing earlier Kumekucha story.


Tips from Kumekucha; 

* Did you know that SEO services in Kenya can revolutionize your business because people looking for exactly what you are offering can find you from a serach engine and you do not even need your own website.


* Looking for good jobs in Kenya that are hardly advertised anywhere else?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Hell Hath no Fury Like the Fugitive Miguna's Ego

BREAKING NEWS: Miguna Miguna has just left Amsterdam for Toronto in a KLM flight.
He came, raffled feathers, grand stood, dared, stirred hornet nest, sought martyrdom and became a fugitive. Miguna Miguna's taunting 'come baby come' has just mutated to 'gone baby gone'.

Miguna's departure from JKIA last night now puts the police and DPP Tobiko on the spot. His departure from the country smells the usual sinister motive and/or incompetence. Or may be armed with critical PEV evidence, MM escaped to offer himself as ICC witness.

The damage is already done. The cat brought a skunk home, left the house full of putrid stench and escaped into the greener forest. Let the government pursue the cat and bring it back home for skinning. 

 
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“I can take every leader to The Hague, they should actually kiss my feet... They actually begged me to go back to office when they knew that I could spill the beans,”....Miguna Miguna

Miguna Miguna better arms himself with solid evidence now that bravado got into his head and is threatening to consume his kingsize ego as DPP Tobiko orders him to make a statement with police to elaborate on his knowledge about PEV gloating above.

The adage that god makes mad those he intends to destroy could as well be applicable to Miguna Miguna. Granted, he has all the constitutional right to author his memoirs. But writing a book is a painstaking exercise in research which is more than just binding unsubstantiated newspaper allegations.

His allegations may be true. But in publishing both substance and style matter. Miguna Miguna's style of marketing his book has seen him come out distinguished in all the unique vices that define his persona. The intellectual who rubbished Mutula Kilonzo's first class degree as a product of cramming is now facing his Waterloo.

In his customary bravado and oozing exotic confidence, Miguna Miguna dared all the devils mentioned in his book to challenge him in court. Well, the victims have promptly picked the gauntlet and dutifully called his bluff by suing him for defamation and character assassination.

Loud, large, pushy, bloaded ego

Raila's Chief of Staff Caroli Omondi who appear to have been the main thesis and butt in Miguna Miguna's memoir has instructed his lawyer George Oraro to file a case against Miguna. Among other things, Mr Omondi has instructed Orarao to specifically:

1) Conduct an official search of the records of the Registrar of Titles and Registrar of Companies to determine the ownership of the land and the hotel business on the premises known as Heron Court Hotel situated along Nairobi’s Milimani Road in Nairobi. He wants Oraro to write directly to the directors of the hotel requesting for their written confirmation about the identity of all individual beneficial owners of the said hotel.

2)Write to the Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission (EACC) requesting for a certified copy of their report on investigations of subsidized maize importation together with a copy of the Kenya Gazette Notice published by the commission in respect to the investigations.

3)Seek for a certified copy of a letter from the Kenya Revenue Authority (KRA) Director General confirming that the consignment of the disputed maize cargo imported by the National Cereals and Produce Board (NCPB) in 2008 from South Africa and loaded at Maputo Port was kept by KRA in their bonded warehouse. According to Omondi, such a letter will also confirm that the maize was never released for public consumption but was instead re-exported out of the country.

4)Write to Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) with a request for their written opinion on the total weight and dimensions of Sh54million in cash in Sh1000 notes.

5)Write to Bavaria Motors with a request for a technical report on the boot size and maximum weight possible for loading therein with respect to BMW 318i Series.

......"He is a man who exhibits mental and emotional fits in his defence of issues and principles which adhere to him. At the time when he was in good books with the Prime Minister, he came across as the son and heart of the PM.” ....Judge Mohammed Warsame

Raila himself is not without blemish in inviting this unto himself. When you take accommodation amongst pigs you must brace yourself to host some flea. You are defined by the company you keep. So Raila invited Miguna into his inner sanctum he must bear the consequences of entrusting a loose cannon with your closely guarded life.

The stage is set for a legal battle royale. Miguna Miguna has been arrogantly boasting of his superlative legal mind. Now the gods have called his bluff and he is destined to meet his match. Let the game begin in earnest.

Kumekucha gives you hot tips and wise sayings; You will never be young forever and so it is NEVER boring nor too early to start thinking of an investment and pension scheme advisor even if you are in your early twenties.