Kamba athletism and other deadly talents

Kamba women have a hell of a reputation in bed. And so do the men. Queens and kings of the bedroom.

I can already hear some of my more conservative readers asking what sex has to do with politics. Actually being sex athletes has a lot to do with siasa because students of history will tell you that sex has changed the course of history too many times for anybody to keep count.

Some people believe that this reputation is overblown beyond all proportions. However the reality is that there are many brothels where regulars specifically ask for Kamba women and will settle for nothing less. Any survey will quickly reveal that this is a reputation that will not fade anytime soon amongst most Kenyans from diverse communities.

Sadly there are a lot of things I cannot say even in this blog, but let me just mention in passing that some Kamba women legislators have left their unforgettable mark in the beds and minds of some major male political players in the country after a brief roll in the hay.

Even without make-up and city sophistication, Kamba women are obviously very beautiful.

Let me also admit that for years I have tried in vain to get to the bottom of what is behind this Kamba prowess in bed. I have heard many ridiculous theories but I have never come across any concrete-sounding reason why members of this tribe are without doubt such talented naturals between the sheets. One such ridiculous theory is based on the fact that the Kamba are one of the very few communities that were led successfully by women in the days of old. (One such famed woman leader of the community was Syokimau who was also a powerful medicinewoman who predicted many things.) The absurd theory claims that since women were the leaders and Kings with powers to put men to death if they did not please them in bed, Kamba men had to learn the art of pleasing a woman for their very survival.

But there is something else about the Kamba women that nobody talks about. Woe unto you if a fair Kamba lass spots you and realizes that you are wealthy (according to her standards) and it does not matter whether you are already married or not. What they will do next is to rush to a witchdoctor to cast a spell on you so that you find her irresistible. Be very wary if your new Kamba girlfriend wants to take too many photographs of you. I know of one case where the impoverished parents of this beautiful Kamba lass instructed her to send them the photograph of any rich man she came across and fancied (preferably a mzungu because they are supposedly the wealthiest) and they would do the rest to make sure that the man was his. And this is not an exceptional case. Many families in this region have used charms rather than genuine bedroom skills to get their families out of poverty. Many poeople don't believe that you can cast a spell on somebody so what has happened is the Kamba reputation in the bedroom has continued to grow in leaps and bounds, even where charms have been used.

Some men from this community have also used the same methods to ensure that they get the woman that they want. Many times a simple handshake shortly after some visit to some Juju-man is enough to make a respectable level-headed woman start constantly following a man like some dog on heat.

Indeed for this community sex and witchcraft is difficult to separate. There have even been countless cases where men have “protected” their wives from having extra-marital affairs by casting a spell on them so that if they sleep with any other man they will get stuck and will be inseparable in the act until the man returns and is appeased enough "to separate" them.

In a recent famous case that happened in the Muthurwa area in Nairobi, a junior Kamba police officer acted on rumours that finally reached his ears about his wife and his boss. Read the entire sordid tale HERE. Cases like this have been countless over the years.

I have no doubt that many will read this post and get very angry which is hardly surprising because the truth can sometimes hurt very badly. It is a clear sign that it is the truth. Most humans find it very difficult to face the truth, let alone handle it.

P.S. Safaricom has quietly started responding to the biggest threat ever to its’ dominance of the Kenyan mobile telephony industry. And the approach is rather uncharacteristically meek. Subscribers yet to register for Mpesa are quietly being urged via SMS to do so before the end of the month and they will have a chance to win upto Kshs 250 in air time. About Kshs 10 million in free airtime is up for grabs, the SMS advertisement from Safaricom says.

It seems that Michael Joseph’s strategy for now is to lie low and make his moves quietly while avoiding the limelight at all costs. Clearly the last thing he wants is to be drawn into a fierce price war he knows will be difficult for him to win considering the setup at Safaricom with shareholders expecting bigger dividends all the time. The move to maintain and increase Mpesa subscribers is smart because clearly there is still a lot of room for increased revenues and profits in this innovative service. Besides Mpesa subscribers usually have to make a call at some point to confirm receipt of funds or to inform that funds have been sent.

Meanwhile I have received information from my informants countrywide to the effect that Zain sim cards are selling feverishly in many parts of the country, a sharp contrast from the indifference many Kenyans have been showing Kenya’s second largest mobile phone operator only recently. Clearly Safaricom are in serious trouble and it is unlikely that they will be able to maintain the complete dominance they have enjoyed in the Kenyan market for so long.

Kamba Secrets Part 1

Kamba Secrets Part 2

Kamba Secrets Part 3

Kamba Secrets Part 4