I had a beautiful ride to Karen the other day.
When you are new in a city as expansive as Nairobi, sometimes you learn a few things the hard way. A friend asked me to visit her in the Karen area. Well, since we hadn't seen each other for long I said I'd be glad to. She asked me if I knew how to get to that side of town and I said Of course I did. But since I wasn't sure I could drive there, I decided I'd catch a Number 24.
That was a mistake.
Turns out Number 24 goes out on a major excursion. When I told one of those dudes who hangs at the door as the bus cruises along where I would get off, he looked at me strangely, then asked, "Why did you take a 24?"
"Won't it take me to Karen?" I asked.
"Yes, but you should have gone through Langata."
Deng!
So I was in for a longer ride than I planned. And it didn't help that just fifteen minutes into the ride my friend started calling...wondering why it was taking so long. "Is it the rains?" she demanded.
I said, "Nope."
"Then what's the matter?"
The matter was...I was in the wrong bus, but being there made me see something that completely messed up the rest of my evening. As our bus came to a stop at one of those places where they empty folks and fill up, I saw a bevvy of excited school kids ready to jump in and head home. And by then it had started drizzling. I looked into the bus and could tell that there wasn't enough room for all of them. Was I going to have to get out of the bus to let in two more?
Man, imagine my surprise when the bus stopped, let out two passengers, then started off without the kids. Not a single one. Instead of the kids, the dude who hangs at the door allowed in two women and a hefty man! To my further dismay, nobody in the bus seemed to mind this sorry picture.
I rushed to the dude who hangs at the door and asked him to stop the bus. "The kids," I said.
"Wachana nao."
Leave the kids?
I couldn't take this. I told him to let four kids in and I'd pay the adult rate for them. To my sweet surprise, other parents in the bus took a child each and before long our bus was filled with happy children heading home to their parents and to do their homework.
In spite of the touching ending of that drama, I was left with many questions on my mind. How can it be that we would let parents ride home ahead of their children? I understand the right of the matatus to maximize profits, but are those profits worth our telling the young, helpless Kenyans that we don't give a damn about them? Can we treat the kids like they don't matter and still wonder why they turn out so angry and disillusioned in this society?
Someone needs to act, to work out a policy that forces the matatus to take the children home ahead of their parents. Until then, my fellow Kenyans, if you are in a matatu and a child is about to be left behind because he/she won't pay as an adult, step in and pay for that child.
Take the kids home first, dammit!
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Of Poisoned Pyramid Wealth and Drug Money
Our mad rush to join the wealthy class has crashed head on with core values of humanity. The rich are using their corruptly acquired wealth even to impoverish more Kenyans. A look at victims of the pyramid schemes will disabuse you of the imagination that only the less-informed and villagers are vulnerable.
Despite the inviting hooks to destitution, you will find it damn difficult to stop a middle class Kenyan flashing his/her her Sacco loan into the drain of these pata potea schemes. The bait is often so sweet after few pioneers are handsomely rewarded with interests generated from new members. No wonder our televangelists are doing so well in this industry.
Before you know it the pyramid is speedily inverted and saturation at the base leaves it with only one option, crumbling down. You cannot fault Kenyans for their penchant to make a killing with any prey in sight.
The problem is that the prey is often deadly poisonous leaving trail of corpses from those who rush to sample its juicy steak. Just ask Equity bank investors who are yet to get they refunds after the artificially-engineered over subscription. But that is a story for another day.
Enter the PAINFUL tale of numerous young Kenyan women having a date with the hangman in China. These enterprising Dubai-bound businesswomen are now pleading innocent when the bubble bust in their faces together with their plastic fortunes. They must have known the high risk that comes with their REAL BUSINESS.
Hawking fake sympathy
After numerous trips abroad, it smacks of shameless naivety to claim that you were caught with heroin while innocently helping a business associate carry a bag. Leaves you wondering what would they say and tick when checking online whether they packed their own bags. But again we are Kenyans who are synonymous with obtuse vices that define genesis of our prosperity - the end justifies the means.
There is no substitute for honesty. The aura of FRAUD thriving among us will only succeed in extinguishing any trace of credibility hitherto associated with Kenya. HELL FOR LEATHER appears to be our motto. Woe unto you who fail to smell the opportunity miles away. A smart Kenyan will stealthily grab it leaving you wallowing in poverty.
Prosperity built on vice or its derivatives is unsustainable. It maybe human to sympathize with these mothers languishing in Chinese jails. But aware of their original sin in drug pushing and the zombies their heinous actions manufacture amongst us, you cannot be sure to hawk a fake sympathy.
What a sense of déjà vu seeing the MOST SUCCESSFUL only turn to recognize and appreciate the collective value of their less industrious peers when the chips are down and out. Damn values for they bring no food to the Kenyan table.
Despite the inviting hooks to destitution, you will find it damn difficult to stop a middle class Kenyan flashing his/her her Sacco loan into the drain of these pata potea schemes. The bait is often so sweet after few pioneers are handsomely rewarded with interests generated from new members. No wonder our televangelists are doing so well in this industry.
Before you know it the pyramid is speedily inverted and saturation at the base leaves it with only one option, crumbling down. You cannot fault Kenyans for their penchant to make a killing with any prey in sight.
The problem is that the prey is often deadly poisonous leaving trail of corpses from those who rush to sample its juicy steak. Just ask Equity bank investors who are yet to get they refunds after the artificially-engineered over subscription. But that is a story for another day.
Enter the PAINFUL tale of numerous young Kenyan women having a date with the hangman in China. These enterprising Dubai-bound businesswomen are now pleading innocent when the bubble bust in their faces together with their plastic fortunes. They must have known the high risk that comes with their REAL BUSINESS.
Hawking fake sympathy
After numerous trips abroad, it smacks of shameless naivety to claim that you were caught with heroin while innocently helping a business associate carry a bag. Leaves you wondering what would they say and tick when checking online whether they packed their own bags. But again we are Kenyans who are synonymous with obtuse vices that define genesis of our prosperity - the end justifies the means.
There is no substitute for honesty. The aura of FRAUD thriving among us will only succeed in extinguishing any trace of credibility hitherto associated with Kenya. HELL FOR LEATHER appears to be our motto. Woe unto you who fail to smell the opportunity miles away. A smart Kenyan will stealthily grab it leaving you wallowing in poverty.
Prosperity built on vice or its derivatives is unsustainable. It maybe human to sympathize with these mothers languishing in Chinese jails. But aware of their original sin in drug pushing and the zombies their heinous actions manufacture amongst us, you cannot be sure to hawk a fake sympathy.
What a sense of déjà vu seeing the MOST SUCCESSFUL only turn to recognize and appreciate the collective value of their less industrious peers when the chips are down and out. Damn values for they bring no food to the Kenyan table.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Perils of Propping Partisan Police Force
If Major Hussein Ali ever thought he is the overall boss then he better stop living the lie and smell the coffee. Ali must be aware that AP Commandant Kinuthia Mbugua is an authority unto himself answerable to those calling shots.
Forget all those glossy proposals by Ali to modernize Kenya’s police force. Retired Judge Philip Ransley’s task force, just like the myriad commissions before him, is nothing but a stop-gap measure meant to fool Kenyans of an apparent motion with no intended movement.
Any member of the disciplined forces would readily tell you that Kinuthia’s contradiction of his boss Ali amounts to gross insubordination. But who cares, Kinuthia is on the right side of power. He knows Ali would never dare question him lest the police boss wants to kiss his post goodbye.
True Kinuthia said AP operations are crucial to security in every corner of the country. But wait a minute, between the regular police and AP who is better trained to cope with complex security challenges outside raiding changaa dens? No prizes for guessing because it is all politics, period.
Political errands
APs are symptoms of acute dearth of any progressive post-colonial reforms. They are relics of colonialism that the black boss inherited from the departing white boss with the exclusive purpose to subjugate his own people. No wonder the villagers aptly call them TP for TRIBAL POLICE.
Kinuthia Mbugua must have thought of himself being very intellectual in proposing more autonomous police divisions including border police. Nothing could be further from the truth in his quest to propose parallel command lines that will leave him more powerful at the expense of the wider good.
The world over, a country’s police force must have a central command with different specialized divisions answerable to one authority. But not in Kenya where modernization acquires a whole new meaning exclusively designed to serve parochial interests.
Just look back to 2007 and see how our APs are perfect vehicles to run political errands.
Tribal police
Only within our deceptive shores do you find such skewed logic spewed to package division as source of strength. All those grandstanding about merger of competing police units to foster effective service delivery are just clever tricks to keep us engaged as the looters scheme on their next prey at our expense.
Kenya’s gatekeepers will not allow tranaformatio of the police with commensurate power to operate independently. Doing that will deny the power to unleash official militia to further their narrow political agenda.
We have been warned of Armageddon come 2012 by both Judges Kriegler and Waki should there be no comprehensive reforms before then. Well, it is just about 1000 days to go. OLE WETU.
Forget all those glossy proposals by Ali to modernize Kenya’s police force. Retired Judge Philip Ransley’s task force, just like the myriad commissions before him, is nothing but a stop-gap measure meant to fool Kenyans of an apparent motion with no intended movement.
Any member of the disciplined forces would readily tell you that Kinuthia’s contradiction of his boss Ali amounts to gross insubordination. But who cares, Kinuthia is on the right side of power. He knows Ali would never dare question him lest the police boss wants to kiss his post goodbye.
True Kinuthia said AP operations are crucial to security in every corner of the country. But wait a minute, between the regular police and AP who is better trained to cope with complex security challenges outside raiding changaa dens? No prizes for guessing because it is all politics, period.
Political errands
APs are symptoms of acute dearth of any progressive post-colonial reforms. They are relics of colonialism that the black boss inherited from the departing white boss with the exclusive purpose to subjugate his own people. No wonder the villagers aptly call them TP for TRIBAL POLICE.
Kinuthia Mbugua must have thought of himself being very intellectual in proposing more autonomous police divisions including border police. Nothing could be further from the truth in his quest to propose parallel command lines that will leave him more powerful at the expense of the wider good.
The world over, a country’s police force must have a central command with different specialized divisions answerable to one authority. But not in Kenya where modernization acquires a whole new meaning exclusively designed to serve parochial interests.
Just look back to 2007 and see how our APs are perfect vehicles to run political errands.
Tribal police
Only within our deceptive shores do you find such skewed logic spewed to package division as source of strength. All those grandstanding about merger of competing police units to foster effective service delivery are just clever tricks to keep us engaged as the looters scheme on their next prey at our expense.
Kenya’s gatekeepers will not allow tranaformatio of the police with commensurate power to operate independently. Doing that will deny the power to unleash official militia to further their narrow political agenda.
We have been warned of Armageddon come 2012 by both Judges Kriegler and Waki should there be no comprehensive reforms before then. Well, it is just about 1000 days to go. OLE WETU.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Constipation from Five-Course Humble Pie
You can fool Kenyans sometimes but not the world all the times, Bob Marley could have as well sung. Saitoti must be still smarting from an exclusive five-course sumptuous meal of humble pie.
What a colourful and dramatic overnight climbdown? The local bravado from the ruling class melted in Geneva and all the hitherto brickbats at Prof Alston speedily transformed into accolades. Last weak Prof Saitoti derided Alston as a shame to the title professor and not worth the reference and at Geneva he hailed Alston’s recommendations as CONSTRUCTIVE and USEFUL.
Patriots had egged Saitoti and Mutula to call Prof Alston bluff in defense of our so-called sovereignty. To them damn all the global village buzz, we are independent and capable of butchering our own. Well, not quite as the world will not sit back to see us self-destruct. Forget all the balderdash about two wrongs making a right ala Iraq and Pakistan.
Exotic lies
Living beautiful lies only succeeds in eternal embarrassment. Without the international community we would be having no country to pride ourselves with. We lost all the moral fibre after bastardizing a people’s democracy in 2007. Continuing to live in denial will only expand the circumference of your ego, period.
Make no mistake, militias must be stopped dead on their tracks. Mungiki's barbaric beheadings is as unacceptable as officially sanctioned police brutality and extra-judicial slayings. You cannot use Mungiki to fool the world in covering state sponsored anarchy. Rule of law is what separates from inhabitants of the jungle.
What an obtuse scale of embarrassment to have factions of the same government export their division abroad? Until the scoundrels come to terms with the naked fact that it is NOT-BUSINESS-AS-USUAL, we continue the bumpy circular rise into oblivion.
Damn consultation
We are so divided and at war with each other so much so that even a foreigner like Prof Alston refers to the fissures between the coalition partners so casually. But expect smart Kenyans to rationalize any rot thrown at them. We baptize impunity with all exotic names but the monster remains just that IMPUNITY as it mutates to claim us all.
Well, the paper patriots can threaten fire and brimstone of all shapes and colour. But Saitoti must have seen it coming in his climb down. The hitherto bravado and attack on the messenger while glossing over the message would have left his face neatly pasted with eggs.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Cheap Pride: Sh.1m a Minute Defending Kenya
Plastic patriotism and sovereignty must be our most expensive commodity in Kenya right now. Otherwise we would not be sending a fractious delegation of 30 joy riders who will only address the UN council on human rights in Geneva for only 5 minutes.
And the bill, well, Kenyans have no qualms coughing out 5m to pamper 5 hard working ministers with a busload of busybodies. Why not show the UN that we value our murderous ways and tell them to lay off our own festival of flesh and blood. If anything the police only killed Kenyans and no foreigners.
Our sovereignty is priceless and we will do anything ORTHODOX or otherwise to defend it. Prof Alston can wax legal with his Congo and Cuba reports but he must be told off by our own smiling but superlative legal minds.
Two wrongs only need a Kenyan mirror to make an obtuse right. Alston must hunt down Bush and Rumsfeld for desecrating Iraq before he turns his evil eye on peaceful Kenya. Woe unto you who derides cheap options that fly like blaming the messenger while conveniently glossing over the message.
Moral authority
Let Prof Kiarie Kunuthia show Alston what a real PhD means. Yes, the policemen killed on his watch but that was Kenyan blood they shed which is none of Alston’s business. Rule of the law is only quoted among the weak-hearted not progressive and industrious nations like Kenya.
We must rally behind our leaders in defending our national integrity and identity. Only scoundrels mouth platitudes laden with in patriotism. The 2007 elections may have been flawed but we retain an overflowing moral authority to defend Kenya.
Add that the unique maturity to sort our parallel government positions in Geneva and you get a picture of a country overwhelmed with patriotism and objectivity. Nani kama sisi? HAKUNA.
And the bill, well, Kenyans have no qualms coughing out 5m to pamper 5 hard working ministers with a busload of busybodies. Why not show the UN that we value our murderous ways and tell them to lay off our own festival of flesh and blood. If anything the police only killed Kenyans and no foreigners.
Our sovereignty is priceless and we will do anything ORTHODOX or otherwise to defend it. Prof Alston can wax legal with his Congo and Cuba reports but he must be told off by our own smiling but superlative legal minds.
Two wrongs only need a Kenyan mirror to make an obtuse right. Alston must hunt down Bush and Rumsfeld for desecrating Iraq before he turns his evil eye on peaceful Kenya. Woe unto you who derides cheap options that fly like blaming the messenger while conveniently glossing over the message.
Moral authority
Let Prof Kiarie Kunuthia show Alston what a real PhD means. Yes, the policemen killed on his watch but that was Kenyan blood they shed which is none of Alston’s business. Rule of the law is only quoted among the weak-hearted not progressive and industrious nations like Kenya.
We must rally behind our leaders in defending our national integrity and identity. Only scoundrels mouth platitudes laden with in patriotism. The 2007 elections may have been flawed but we retain an overflowing moral authority to defend Kenya.
Add that the unique maturity to sort our parallel government positions in Geneva and you get a picture of a country overwhelmed with patriotism and objectivity. Nani kama sisi? HAKUNA.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Mutula, Tell Those Hypocrites We Can Handle Our Affairs
Mutula, Saitoti and Wako are off to an important meeting. Those three guys are going out there to defend the Kenyan government against accusations of orchestrated police brutality, bordering on heninous acts like extra-judicial killings and other acts so despicable they've warranted the intervention of the international community.
As the three gentlemen go out there, I've been stunned by the discord displayed by the government regarding Professor Helston's report. It is true that the ODM should have been consulted over this matter so that a coordinated and agreed upon response be formulated. I however think it was wrong for the ODM to come out and essentially walk away from what initial response of the government. There must be matters that we can handle differently, especially where we deal with hypocritical entities like the Western watchdog institutions.
Before anybody accuses me of condoning the mass killings that went on in Kenya and the troubling extra-judicial killings that may still be going on, let me say that I deplore any acts that are not in comformity with the laws of our land. What I can't stand is the hypocricy of an international community that will let a man like George Bush go free after killing thousands of Iraqis and flaggrantly trampling on international law to attack another state while calling on Kibaki to defend himself. Why is Kenya called to account and not the United States?
And wasn't it just recently that they arrested Ms. Kabuye, the aide to President Kagame, accusing her of involvement in the unfortunate acts that sparked the killings in Rwanda? Tell me again why they would want to come after this lady and not Donald Rumsfeld and the bunch of Neo-cons in the U.S. who thought out and sanctioned the war that has left the Middle East in flames. What is the difference.
Look, Kenya is a sovereign state that can hadnle its affairs just fine. This crap about Kenya walking on the brink of collapse and becoming a failed state is rubbish. Our democratic institutions are alive even though they need to be streamlined and made to work in a more efficient manner. What we need to do is make the Judiciary, Parliament and the Press function in a manner reflective of the existance of a vibrant free-market democracy.
We will do it.
So, Bwana Mutula, go look those hypocrites in the eye and tell them to go to hell. But you may want to know that when you come back home we will demand answers from you, Saitoti and Wako over what reallly happened? We will want to know who instituted the silent policy of killings within the police force and how many Kenyans have lost their lives in such a fashion. In the end, we will demand that the chief of police and all those who knew about this matter but kept quiet be held accountable...here in Kenya.
For now, show those hypocrites what we are made of, will you?
God bless Kenya!
As the three gentlemen go out there, I've been stunned by the discord displayed by the government regarding Professor Helston's report. It is true that the ODM should have been consulted over this matter so that a coordinated and agreed upon response be formulated. I however think it was wrong for the ODM to come out and essentially walk away from what initial response of the government. There must be matters that we can handle differently, especially where we deal with hypocritical entities like the Western watchdog institutions.
Before anybody accuses me of condoning the mass killings that went on in Kenya and the troubling extra-judicial killings that may still be going on, let me say that I deplore any acts that are not in comformity with the laws of our land. What I can't stand is the hypocricy of an international community that will let a man like George Bush go free after killing thousands of Iraqis and flaggrantly trampling on international law to attack another state while calling on Kibaki to defend himself. Why is Kenya called to account and not the United States?
And wasn't it just recently that they arrested Ms. Kabuye, the aide to President Kagame, accusing her of involvement in the unfortunate acts that sparked the killings in Rwanda? Tell me again why they would want to come after this lady and not Donald Rumsfeld and the bunch of Neo-cons in the U.S. who thought out and sanctioned the war that has left the Middle East in flames. What is the difference.
Look, Kenya is a sovereign state that can hadnle its affairs just fine. This crap about Kenya walking on the brink of collapse and becoming a failed state is rubbish. Our democratic institutions are alive even though they need to be streamlined and made to work in a more efficient manner. What we need to do is make the Judiciary, Parliament and the Press function in a manner reflective of the existance of a vibrant free-market democracy.
We will do it.
So, Bwana Mutula, go look those hypocrites in the eye and tell them to go to hell. But you may want to know that when you come back home we will demand answers from you, Saitoti and Wako over what reallly happened? We will want to know who instituted the silent policy of killings within the police force and how many Kenyans have lost their lives in such a fashion. In the end, we will demand that the chief of police and all those who knew about this matter but kept quiet be held accountable...here in Kenya.
For now, show those hypocrites what we are made of, will you?
God bless Kenya!
Celebrating Madaraka Without Mamlaka
Another Madaraka day is here with us folks. Predictably Kenyans will be reminded they have been independent for 46 years albeit on paper without commensurate POWER and RESPONSIBILITY. It was 46 years ago and remains so today that Madarak was an event that merely replaced white colonialists with an indigenous brute albeit black.
All the fossilized leadership has to parade during the ceremony is nothing but nostalgia galore. Look around you and all you see is a painful dearth of any home-grown tangible contribution to define and distinguish Kenya from any institutions inherited from the colonialists.
These past and present scoundrels only sought power for its raw sake. And they are busy perpetuating its divisive traits over a smoldering Kenya. The many Kenyans disenchanted with the status quo and who are brave enough to shout will be promptly locked up, thanks to the suffocating colonial legal relics of yore which are being cleverly guarded.
Inverted priorities
The present leadership thrives on parallel truths that they shamelessly package as truth. Today’s celebration offers them yet another opportunity to gloat over their strangulation prowess over us. Forget basic priorities like security and settling the IDPs but expect superlative enumeration of phantom progress that only resides within the circumference of their fraudulent heads.
What is more, topology associate professor Kiarie has gone further and called Prof Philip Alston bluff and reminded him he is not worth the lofty title. Reason, poor Alston dared question the rogue policemen who went on extra-judicial killings spree on Saitoti’s watch.
We collectively hate the ugly face of truth, don’t we? Just ask new political boy on the judicial block, one Mutula Kilonzo. We may choose to conveniently repeat all the lies to ourselves till the lips crack, but the world and Geneva knows better that we are only expanding our egos.
Prof Alston touched raw nerves and our own smiling Wako is ready to defend himself. Meanwhile police boss Ali has offered to donate the Kenyan standards of investigation reminding him that one month isn’t enough to probe even chicken theft. The phrase verifiable facts can be reflected on Kenyan mirror to give a very different meaning.
Happy Madaraka day wherever you are folks.
All the fossilized leadership has to parade during the ceremony is nothing but nostalgia galore. Look around you and all you see is a painful dearth of any home-grown tangible contribution to define and distinguish Kenya from any institutions inherited from the colonialists.
These past and present scoundrels only sought power for its raw sake. And they are busy perpetuating its divisive traits over a smoldering Kenya. The many Kenyans disenchanted with the status quo and who are brave enough to shout will be promptly locked up, thanks to the suffocating colonial legal relics of yore which are being cleverly guarded.
Inverted priorities
The present leadership thrives on parallel truths that they shamelessly package as truth. Today’s celebration offers them yet another opportunity to gloat over their strangulation prowess over us. Forget basic priorities like security and settling the IDPs but expect superlative enumeration of phantom progress that only resides within the circumference of their fraudulent heads.
What is more, topology associate professor Kiarie has gone further and called Prof Philip Alston bluff and reminded him he is not worth the lofty title. Reason, poor Alston dared question the rogue policemen who went on extra-judicial killings spree on Saitoti’s watch.
We collectively hate the ugly face of truth, don’t we? Just ask new political boy on the judicial block, one Mutula Kilonzo. We may choose to conveniently repeat all the lies to ourselves till the lips crack, but the world and Geneva knows better that we are only expanding our egos.
Prof Alston touched raw nerves and our own smiling Wako is ready to defend himself. Meanwhile police boss Ali has offered to donate the Kenyan standards of investigation reminding him that one month isn’t enough to probe even chicken theft. The phrase verifiable facts can be reflected on Kenyan mirror to give a very different meaning.
Happy Madaraka day wherever you are folks.
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