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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Letter to Kibaki From Moi

(Tongue in the cheek post)


Kabarnet Gardens

Nairobi


My Dear Emilio,


It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter to express my utter disappointment in you and how you have handled things, especially in recent months. As a patriot I am alarmed and very worried about the future of our beloved country.


I have thought long and hard before writing this letter and I hope you will not take anything in it personally.


You know these days I cannot sleep at night. The moment I doze off I wake up only a few minutes later sweating after seeing horrifying nightmares of terrible violence and chaos in Kenya.


Emilio, I have reminded you many times that you are the president of the republic of Kenya and you must take charge of things. And I remind you of this yet again. You know that I have always said (and you know it is true) when you do nothing it is always interpreted as a sign of weakness no wonder people are doing what they want in the country these days as if there is no president. There can only be one result from all this—chaos.


Even the things that presidents have to do, you don’t seem capable of doing properly. I am sorry to ask this again, but why the hell did you not ask for my help if you knew you couldn't steal a presidential election properly? What you did in December 2007 was so obvious and really embarrassing. What were you trying? You know how neatly I used to do my things so that nobody could challenge me. But what you did Emilio was so amateurish and hardly befits a president of the republic of Kenya. In fact the bill for that little fiasco will probably never be footed in the lifetimes of our great grandchildren. Come to think of it, can’t you do anything without it ending in a blunder? Believe you me my friend, all these things are going to catch up with you in a very bad way, make no mistake about that. I am your friend and I am worried that you could end up not only causing grief to yourself but to my family and the Kenyatta family as well. As you know people are now talking g about ending impunity and I have a feeling this campaign will end up with them poking their noses into the past. If you do not care about your children Emilio, I can tell you that I do and I want nothing more but for them to live in peace without being hassled.


Then this thing of keeping a woman you cannot control in State House. I know when you were a minister under me, you and others used to make jokes behind my back about me being a senior bachelor and not having a wife. Well, now we all know who the joke is on don’t we?


Lastly you will know how sensitive I was to hunger problems in the country. You see there are many things you can do to people but things become extremely dangerous when they start going hungry. Correct me if I am wrong but you don’t seem to care let alone realize how dangerous this can be.


Really Emilio, you have to do something and you have to do it pronto because the country is truly sinking into chaos and yet you have all the power to halt this slide. As always I will be available to advice accordingly.


Yours Sincerely,


Daniel T. Arap Moi

Former President and commander in chief of the armed forces, banana republic of Kenya.


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