Can We Detribalize Kenya?

Hate rules the world.

No, I'm not being cynical or feeling hopelessly discouraged, on the contrary I'm bringing up an issue that has the potential to one day destroy our country. In my travels, I've come to realize that wherever I go, hate is always a very powerful force or emotion. I've traveled to parts of the United States where I sat in a Holiday Inn lobby watching news and suddenly the TV was turned off. When I asked why it was being turned off, here is the reply I got. "I'm turning it off because nobody is watching it." You get the point? I am a nobody because of my skin color.

Hate.

Then I think about Rwanda. This is where more than one million Hutus killed the Tutsis because of simmering tribal animosity. If you've had a chance to watch Hotel Rwanda, Don Cheadle starring, what you've witnessed is how cruel and cannibalistic man can be. The hate that's projected in that movie is enough to make one wonder whether there is any redemptive quality in man. Yes, there's Mandela and Mahatma and Abraham Lincoln, men who fought hard to turn back the tide of hate in their communities, but for each of them, there were hundreds of others who fought hard to preserve the legacy of hate that they inherited from their forefathers.

Hate.

And recently I was talking to a Mexican friend of mine. She has watched the immigration debate in America and Europe. What this good professor sees is hate, pure and simple. Why, for example, do the Australians find it necessary to put asylum seekers in detention centers...with their wives and children? Would they still detain them if the immigrants were predominantly from a Western nation with a Judeo-Christian background? And why does Europe continue to enact immigration laws that are clearly meant to keep black and brown people out? They say they want to control the flow of immigrants into their shores and plan their future effectively. I agree with that. But when you look at the punitive nature of these new laws and the fact that they are enforced by the great grandchildren of men and women who enslaved our great grandfathers and grandmothers, don't you begin to wonder about fairness? So when you see so many Africans turned back from Europe, you know what's at play here.

Hate.

And before I turn my attention to Kenya, I want to remind us of what happened in Israel. Over there, a number of people managed to get out of the boiling Darfur, tiptoed into and through Egypt, then crossed and landed in Israel. When word of their presence reached the Israeli authorities, they were promptly rounded up and sent back to Darfur. To the boiling pot. The minister responsible said beaten down Sudanese were economic refugees! Can you believe this? Had the Israelis never heard of Darfur?

Hate.

Closer home, I look at the ongoing tribal animosity with increasing fear. Since the sixties, we've practiced the politics of tribe. First it was the GEMA and the Luo community coming together. This was an alliance that sustained a Kenyatta presidency. The other thing it did was to keep smaller Kenyan tribes on the periphery of power. Then there was the KAMATUSA. This alliance sustained the Moi administration. The other thing it did was to turn Kenya into a Kalenjin Kingdom. Now there is the Kibaki administration. This is one of the most cynical administrations to ever rule Kenya. Before the coalition government was put in place, it had literally turned Kenya into a Kikuyu Kingdom. The downside to this kind of politics has been to tribalize Kenya in a way that if not checked, could lead us down a path to a revolution. Why? Because alliances inevitably create an US verses THEM complex. These alliances create hate. Is it any wonder that our brothers and sisters in Central Province felt left out in the Western Alliance of Raila, Ruto and Mudavadi? And is it any wonder that Kenyans have felt left out in the grab grab grab mentality that's characterized the Kibaki leadership? When will we start practicing the politics of ideas? When will we go with issue-driven campaigns? Policy-guided leadership?

Hate.

I fear hate.

When the Hutus called the Tustsi cockroaches, they went all out to exterminate them. When the Nazis called the Jews rats, they went all out to destroy them. And now, I see a Kenya where Kikuyus are called thieves, the Luos are called dirty and AIDS carriers, the Luhyas are called watchmen and ugali-eaters and the Kalenjin are called dumb and militaristic. This is the language of hate. It must have no place in a modernizing Kenya. We must all work towards a Kenya where our children will embrace all of the nation's children as brothers and sisters. Where genuine admiration will exist for the Kikuyu for their liberation of our nation from colonial bondage, where accolades will be extended to the Kalenjin for turning over power peacefully when Moi's Kenyatta was beaten at the polls, where the Luo will be respected for producing some of the nation's best brains, where the varied tribes of our nation will be celebrated for their strengths...strengths that together form the beautiful stretch of land that we all adoringly call our motherland.

Forgiveness.

Fellow Kenyans, let hate give way to forgiveness. We've all done things that have oiled the path to hatred. The first step is to look deep inside and see where our actions may have abetted this vice. We don't have to announce to the world what a self-examination reveals about our hateful ways, but we can all begin by forgiving ourselves and making a promise, to ourselves...individually, that we'll work hard to advance harmony rather than project hate.

I know that it's not easy to let our prejudices go, but I also know that we must start the process of letting Kenya emerge as a cohesive, loving nation.

Folks, the world out here is full of hate. We must work hard to create a place where our children can grow up without experiencing the bitter hate that rules the world. It would be nice if one day all of the Kenyans of the Diaspora will come back to a nation unified in love and purpose, a place where they will come back to rest after battling the fears and indignities of living in a thoughtless, cold world.

I know we can detribalize Kenya.

Let's start now!

For Love of Country,

Guest post by Sam O. Okello

Get 5000 people to see your product or service, you DON’T need a website and its’ ALL FREE
…And after that get 1,000,000 more hits for FREE

In Proud Support Of Omar Al-Bashir

In line with the African Union.

The chairman of the African Union Commission, a Mr. Ping, has pretty much purchased a good quality rope, handed it to the International Criminal Court and politely requested it to go hang itself. This after visiting the lavish gold-tiled presidential palace of Sudan; precisely the abode of a most wanted criminal, Omar al-Bashir.

Now, I have never been to Darfur but I hear that our blackest of 'bradas' are being bludgeoned to death by the Janjaweed under the remote controlled supervision of Omar al-Bashir, a man accused of war crimes, genocide and an assortment of crimes against humanity by the ICC. Well of course the situation on the ground is more complex but for our purposes, let us visit the AU's decision to chastise the ICC for issuing a warrant to arrest al-Bashir….even if the backdrop includes Darfuri infants being split in two parts.

Why do we Africans choose to respect (fear) our leaders/older generation so much? Why are we so powerless to address the abuses and excesses heaped upon us by our political leaders? As a whole, we black Africans have succumbed to the lowest level of supreme idiots. We are competing with sheep to see who's more sillier. How can we be so silent and very impotent when it comes to doing what is right in Darfur. So the ICC, with much evidence and fortitude, identifies and then indicts a murderous leader who has killed hungry weather-beaten African boys and girls for sport….and what do we do?.....like a jukebox choir, we cry foul in continental unison. Folks, those who do not condemn violence condone it.

In the case of Kenya, we are also going to bed with the Chinese so we cannot just start shouting curse words at Sudan. But what of other African countries? Yaani these so called leaders are just seated somewhere when a fella is exterminating a substantial portion of his citizens.

Why are we so gallant and courageous in our fight to win the Nobel prize in ineptitude?

Saving Mau Forest: Ogiek Community Voluntarily Accept Outside Resettlement

Yesterday, PM Raila Odinga received a large delegation of Ogiek community leaders in his office. As usual our mainstream media have given the momentous occasion little publicity. The hide-attired Ogiek delegation comprised of representatives from the Ogiek Peoples National Assembly (OPNA), Ogiek Welfare Council and the Ogiek Peoples Development Programme (OPDP) whose executive chairman Daniel Kobei doubled as their spokesman.

At the end of the meeting, the PM called a press conference attended by local and international press in which it was announced that the Ogieks were ready to move out of the controversial MAU forest on condition that the government resettles and compensates them adequately. Sadly, the NMG did not even bother to publish this story in its Nation newspaper. For those who have been following the protracted Mau saga, this announcement constitutes one of the most significant coups by any official of the government of Kenya since independence in the efforts to reclaim the forest and puts the PM in frame for international environmental honours.

The Ogieks who number about 20,000 people are not squatters but are in actual sense the only indigenous dwellers of the Mau Forest. They have since colonial times suffered eviction, persecution, harassment, intimidation, death threats and even murder from successive governments and their agents under the excuse of 'protecting the environment'. That the PM has persuaded them to peacefully leave their ancestral homeland and appreciate the importance of preserving this water catchment area is a great achievement indeed. No other government officials or Rift Valley MPs were present in this historic meeting and surprise, surprise….no tear gas canisters were unleashed on hapless Kenyans!

To put other Kenyan communities in perspective; can the proud Luo, for instance, ever accept to be evicted from the shores of Lake Victoria or perhaps are the populous Kikuyu ready to accept to be moved away from the Mount Kenya region even if it is for preserving the environment? You and I know this is an impossible dream.

Although the Mau Task Force is still working on modalities for handling the Mau crisis, it is not lost on political observers that Raila is already making inroads on the ground and is successfully working with grassroot communities in resolving the impasse. It should therefore not surprise anyone when a delegation of Kipsigis or Maasai community leaders or elders visits the PM in the near future and agree to be relocated from the Mau.

Whereas it is the right of any Kenyan community to public appointments, journalists attending the PM/Ogieks function were shocked to learn that no single individual from the Ogiek community has been nominated to parliament or appointment a minister, PS or even an MD of a public corporation, although quite a number of them are educated and qualified for public service jobs. The Ogiek never feature anywhere on the national radar apart from when they are resisting attempts to evict them from their homeland.

It will be interesting to hear what the so called Kipsigis and Maasai MPs have to say about yesterday’s meeting which was devoid of any political agenda. Meanwhile, the PM marches on……..

Earth Tremors Return To Nairobi

In the midst of all the news and incidences unfolding in the country at the moment, an interesting development has been quietly taking place in the Kikuyu area in the outskirts of Nairobi.

-------------------------
Also inside Kumekucha today:- Are you lovesick?
Small Buisiness Kenya: Overcoming resistance from buyers
-------------------------

Residents are complaining of constant earth tremors in the area that are so serious that some buildings have been badly affected. Recently a church in the area was shut down because serious cracks had started emerging on the walls so much so that the church members were certain that it may collapse at any time. Experts from the government were brought in to inspect the building and promptly shut it down. To allay the fears of the public they announced that they were shutting it down for further inspection. However it is clear that they firmly agreed with the verdict of the public about the imposing structure.

Interestingly many buildings in the area are semi-permanent structures and it was not immediately clear to this blogger how seriously they have been affected by the constant earth tremors that have swept through the area in recent weeks.

One possible reason why the tremors have been downplayed by the press is probably to stop panic setting in.

A certain Dr Awuor has predicted that the city of Nairobi will be swept by a major earthquake. Last year some unknown persons started forwarding text messages via mobile phones saying that a serious earth tremor was expected in few minutes, which spread fear and panic in the city centre causing workers in high rise building to abandon their work stations in great fear.

What Is Really Going On In Kenyan Politics?

Is history about to repeat itself?

Regular readers of Kumekucha are well aware of the fact that weeks ago our columnists here started sounding off Kenyans on the desperate power struggle unfolding around the president.

It is only in the last week or so that this has clearly come out into the open as justice minister Martha Karua has made her intentions to run for the presidency in 2012 very clear.

------------------------

Also in Kumekucha today: Relationships: What type of woman are you in the eyes of your man?

Small Business Special: How to use a laptop to make money

------------------------

Indeed it is as if the country is back to 1976 and the infamous change-the-constitution move which was designed to stop the then Vice President Daniel arap Moi from automatically ascending into power in an acting capacity, in the event of the death of President Kenyatta. Clearly politicians at the time who were privy to information on the president’s health knew very well of the strokes Kenyatta had suffered and the fact that he usually drifted in and out of comas. It was really just a matter of time before he passed on.

So naturally a very intense no holds barred power struggle around President Kenyatta started. Ironically it was this infighting that ended up handing over the presidency to Daniel arap Moi on a silver platter. The question political analysts are pondering is, is history about to repeat itself?

For months now, right before the general election, this blogger has been receiving information from many different sources to the effect that all is not well with the duly elected president’s health. Apparently he is constantly on medication and has to receive several jabs before he can make any public appearance. Now some very alarming reports have started trickling in (which this writer is yet to verify from independent sources) to the effect that the president is suffering from an incurable disease that affects memory and the mind. In any case, any close observer of the president who knows him well will be able to tell you right away that the president is not the same man and all is surely not well.

However the clearest sign to date that there is something very wrong somewhere has been the behaviour of politicians, especially those within the PNU fold. Just watching them will convince you that surely there will be a general election in the country much sooner than 2012.

Then there is the considerable pressure that is now being suffered by a politician who has no track record for soaking in any pressure. And that is Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka. It is no accident that members of his own party—ODM-K have intensified plans for a coup within the party that is designed to throw him out. There are even reports from some quarters that a major cabinet re-shuffle is looming which will see Kalonzo dropped from the Vice presidency in favor of Kibaki’s favored heir.

Ironically in 1976 many people waited for just such a cabinet re-shuffle to drop the then vice president, Daniel arap Moi. But, alas, it never came and the then Vice president survived to ascend to the presidency. Are we about to see history repeating itself?

Some political analysts point to the fact that there is a very huge and colossal difference between Daniel arap Moi in 1976-78 and Kalonzo Musyoka 2006-2008. Moi had a solid grassroots backing especially on his home turf in the Rift valley. Kalonzo Musyoka has serious political problems in how own backyard where election results clearly showed that he does not have any solid backing in Ukambani. In fact the Vice President performed dismally in Ukambani considering the fact that he was a presidential candidate from the community. If one takes into account the fact that there were much fewer registered voters in 1997 when Charity Ngilu stood for the presidency, it is obvious she faired much better in Ukambani than Kalonzo did last December.

ODM supporters are quick to rubbish the rapid developments taking place within PNU that generally spell doom for the party and in recent days even the Prime Minister himself seems to have moved into campaign mode and revisited the controversial issue of a stolen election emphasizing the fact that his party would still win the presidency it was cheated out of come the next elections. He has however been quick to emphasize that the grand coalition government will run its’ full course.

In the midst of all this political storms and realignments a ticking time bomb has been totally ignored. Various factors including steeply rising fuel prices have put the ordinary man under considerable pressure in their ability to put food on the table, let alone cover other basic costs like house rent. Some experts believe that food riots in the country are not very far off.

Get 5000 people to see your product or service, you DON’T need a website and its’ ALL FREE
…And after that get 1,000,000 more hits for FREE

Tearing Kenya Apart to New Heights

Kenya must probably be the most tear-resistant country on planet Earth. This is one country teaming with competing egos at her helm. The political combatants are in permanent state of electioneering and their selfish vibes amount to nothing but thinly veiled bravado meant to serve sectarian interests. Grandiose slogans are our forte and we never run short of high sounding programs which are crafted purposely not to be implemented.

The Grand Coalition Government was an estranged relationship even before the nuptials were exchanged. Look at how the partners are busy pleasing pursuing their individual interest at the expense of the common good on which the truce was singularly premised. ODM is busy retracing its steps after rediscovering that the detour was a road to political nowhere. Everywhere the political drums are beating and the tempo increases with every passing day.

Whoever said that a president serving his final term is a lame duck couldn’t have been more right. By attempting to politically re-invent himself in leading an active political party, Kibaki has exposed his soft underbelly and his hitherto gate keepers know it better. They have bared their fangs by latently challenging the emperor to his own throne while alive. His apologists may try all they wish to craft opaque theories in justifying Emilio’s astuteness but the political players no a thing or two about the guy at very close range and they appear bent on exploiting it for their political future.

We are a country at crossroads and acutely lacking in imaginative leadership. The v2030 must have been a clever ploy to celebrate somebody’s 100th birthday in advance. Otherwise how do you explain an uncreative program pegged on a trickle down economics learnt in the first half of last Century? Let us be honest with ourselves people. All the political posturing and heat are simply reverberations of inept leadership singularly defined by FRAUD and DECEPTION. The resulting mess is now compounded by schemes to protect status quo after Kibaki’s political demise. To think otherwise is to engage in massaging of obtuse egos. Well, it is not a crime but the price is enormous to self and country.

A Culture of Corruption

For many years I have been an independent entrepreneur in Kenya and one thing I can tell you is that generally there is absolutely no respect for honest businessmen. Kenyans only respect wealthy people and they don’t care how that wealth was made.

Those who even casually study the world of business will tell you that building up a business to sizeable proportions takes time, quite often years. This is in sharp contrast to corruption where it is easy to make crazy amounts of cash overnight.

The sad result of all this is that Kenyans look down on honest entrepreneurs trying to make it the hard way and glorify corrupt overnight millionaires. That is why if you tell anybody that you are in business, the next question they will ask you is what business you are in. If you mention anything that links you to “Jua Kali” or a struggling start up, they will quickly lose respect. So the big question here, is how do we encourage Kenyans to go into business which is much more beneficial to the economy on the long term, when everybody knows that the way to make money is the crooked corrupt way. How many generations of Kenyans will it take for us to correct this perception that corruption pays?

I have myself witnessed numerous corrupt deals where people have used their position in government and even private companies to make a lot of money overnight. This includes the games people play with quotations. You see it is mandatory that for anything to be supplied to government, purchasing officers have to get 3 quotations for it. So what is done is to have 3 different business names handy complete with company rubber stamps. You then supply all three quotes but make sure that they are all very high. So whichever company wins the tender, you win because you control all three. And what is more you get to make a windfall in profits.

If the boss insists that he wants a certain company to supply because of their quality and reputation, all is not lost. The government official approaches the said company and tells them that he is in a position to help them win a lucrative government tender and asks them if they can “do the needful.” There are cases where cash is even paid upfront.

This kind of system can prove to be deadly. There is a famous case in the 1990s where a businessman called Kimani Kongo supplied chalk to the Nairobi City Council purporting it to be chlorine. Chlorine is usually used to treat water and although many wise Kenyans do not drink tap water directly from taps without treating it, there are numerous other poverty stricken ones who do not have an option. How many of them fell sick after city water was treated with chalk or not at all? How many ended up dead because they got sick and could not afford proper medical attention? Incidentally this gentleman stood in the last general elections for a parliamentary seat in Dagoretti constituency.

Corruption in Kenya is at all levels and many times, the games played are more or less the same right across the board, with slight modifications. The leaked Kroll report made an astounding revelation. That there is a registered legal entity known as the Government of Kenya. It still exists even as you read this. It is linked to Nicholas Biwott with other directors listed including Prof George Saitoti and ODM’s former Finance Minister Chris Okemo among others. The implications of this is that any cheque being issued to the government of Kenya can easily be cashed by this privately owned “business.” Now this is one scheme that clearly puts corruption in Kenya a notch higher than what our brothers is Nigeria have become world-famous for.

I will end this post and this series with a scene that I am sure has been played and re-played over and over again right across the country.

It is Christmas and two sons arrive with their families at their upcountry rural home. One comes by matatu and arrives tired and dusty heavily laden with luggage. The other son arrives in his big four-wheel drive car. Now which son are the parents more pleased to see? Which son are the parents more proud of? Naturally the four wheel drive car was purchased with corruption cash. But who wants to know? So what do you think will happen if somebody one day approaches the matatu-traveling son with a corrupt deal? Or even lures them into crime?

How can we ever hope to end corruption when Kenyans will not respect people for what they are but will instead only look at them for what they have?

Read my earlier article on corruption in high places that tells a simple story to illustrate the little talked-about impact that corruption has on ordinary Kenyans.

Get 5000 people to see your product or service, you DON’T need a website and its’ ALL FREE
…And after that get 1,000,000 more hits for FREE

Wistful Recollections of Friday, August 7, 1998

…aptly dubbed dark Friday.

At around 10:37am on Friday August 7, 1998, a pick up was seen at the gate of the American Embassy in Nairobi. One of two men manning the vehicle was seen as if arguing with the guard at the gate. Undoubtedly, they wanted entry into the Embassy compound.

Seconds later, all hell broke loose. A bomb exploded. A bomb that set things running in the opposite direction. A bomb that brought mighty buildings down. A bomb that killed, maimed, incapacitated, dealt a death blow to people’s ambitions (and aspirations) and forcefully wrenched and wrested our loved ones from our very hands.

The scene was aghast after the blast. People ran, screamed, and hollered while some tried to shield themselves with their palms – sheer madness. But for once, nobody cared what their neighbours were doing for each and every one was doing their own thing – primarily to get as far away from where the noise had come from (the bomb!).

Hundreds lost their lives and the whole country was held at ransom by the very pain and sorrow its citizens were going through. Many lost their limbs, eyesight, hearing ability and – hope!

As countless numbers of people were sifting and rummaging through the rubble trying to find their loved ones – hoping against all hope that they would find them alive – countless others thronged churches and mosques asking God to purge their sins for they thought the prophesied Armageddon had finally come. A frightening thought!

I was at home, in Nyahururu (a town in Central Kenya), at the time. Some minutes after the blast of the bomb, my mother came running to my room.

“Have you heard the news? There’s been a massive bomb blast in Nairobi. People have died and buildings have been destroyed,” she said, panting.

“What?!” I exclaimed. I had never heard of a massive bomb blast anywhere in Kenya before that day. I was flabbergasted.

As news came trickling in the rest of the day and on subsequent days, the picture of what had happened on that fateful day gradually sunk in. The images on TV spoke very loudly. Images of the injured, the dead and the destroyed buildings evoked sympathy and empathy; Images of Kenyans of all walks of life working together to help find “loved ones” (who could not be traced), Kenyans working together to help the injured and piece the pieces of the jigsaw to get a clear picture, spoke volumes.

{I fail to understand where that spirit of working together as a nation went to: working towards a common goal without looking at the creed, colour, tribe or religion of fellow Kenyans. Will that sweet spirit ever come back to bond us together again? I’m just wondering.}

It was during that time, too, that I came to hear of the term “terrorism” being widely used. I heard that terrorist activities were levelled against America, Americans and American interests in the rest of the world.

So, Kenya and Kenyans were victims of circumstances in this whole thing. Is there any reason why our brothers, sisters, fathers and mothers were affected if America and Americans were the target?

My heart goes out to Kenyanswho were emotionally, physically and psychologically affected by this catastrophic event. Poleni sana ndugu zangu.

As we mark the 10th anniversary of this “event of torture” next week, let us appreciate the essence of being just Kenyan - the beauty of it - for the sake of our fallen friends.

Can you be Trusted?
Are you a condescending workmate?.

Where Art Thou Clean Fortune?

It is ironical that as we run this series on how the most respectable Kenyan families made their money, the grand coalition cabinet on Thursday had to approve a rescue plan for a bank that has been a consistent under-performer. This is the National Bank of Kenya.

What is really fascinating is that the genesis of the problems of the National Bank of Kenya is a Kshs 300 million loan that the former executive chairman of the bank Stanley Githunguri gave himself in the 70s. Mr Githunguri is now a member of the 10^th parliament. And just on time too. It is widely said that people go into politics in Kenya to protect their (mostly ill-gotten) riches. If this is true then do not expect anybody to talk about the genesis of the problems at the National Bank of Kenya. Those who are familiar with banking know that bad underperforming loans never go away, they come back to haunt an institution again and again. And that is exactly what has happened a the National bank despite several huge cash bail outs from the treasury.

For the record the cabinet approved a two-phase plan to off-load its’ majority stake at the bank. The first will involve getting a major strategic investor for the bank and the second will be to sell off shares to the public through the Nairobi Stock exchange.

Many casual readers of this blog who have never bothered to read carefully through our posts of the past assume that this is an ODM blog. The truth is that we are the people’s blog and if the majority of Kenyans are leaning in a certain direction, then that is the direction you will tend to see Kumekucha leaning towards. However we have a record of never sparing anybody, as the doubting Thomases are about to discover.

Corruption and ill-gotten wealth spread right across the political divide. If anything, taking mere statistics and sifting through records, ODM seems to have the vast majority of corrupt individuals within its’ fold. Give me a who-is-who list of the most powerful and influential ODMers and I will tell you about their corrupt past. Very few are clean. This is why it is so funny when I hear some of them denouncing corruption. Sadly the joke is on the long-suffering Kenyan public.

Take William Ruto, the current agriculture minister as an example. It is no secret that the barely 40 legislator is extremely wealthy. So how did he make his money?

We know that shortly before he was brought into the Kanu fold in the late 80s Ruto was a graduate school teacher earning peanuts. How did Ruto shoot up in the space of a few short years to become so wealthy? Where did his fortune suddenly “fall” from?

Just to give you a clue, I am certain that every time Ruto hears the name National Social Security Fund mentioned anywhere, tears collect in his eyes and he has this warm, gowing feeling in his stomach. The reason is that this is the institution that lifted him up to the status of an overnight billionaire from a pauper.

The money-making schemes in the Kanu days were simple. You get the president (through the numerous power brokers who littered State House in those days) to allocate you a piece of land and then you sell it to the then cash-rich NSSF. Thus a simple operation that takes a few days sees you banking a triple digit million cheque at the end of it all. Of course contacts and connections are used to get the cheques out quickly even as impoverished pensioners travel long distances from their rural home to Nairobi to “chase” their pension cheques in vain.

Now you have to be careful about the Kalenjin. They can get very violent if you dare insinuate that they are corrupt. That is what a Mr Chesoni found out on the grounds of State House Nairobi in the early 90s when Ruto confronted the old man (old enough to be his father) and wrestled him to the ground.

This may have something to do with the cultural past of the Kalenjin who were very similar to the Maasai in that they would constantly raid neighboring tribes and steal their cattle. Ooops I meant “take” their cattle. So in the same way if a Kalenjin politician uses his position and good fortune to “take” some money from the NSSF or the previously prosperous National Assurance (brought down single-handedly by a Mr Henry Kosgey) then there is really no big problem is there? After all it was their turn “to eat” under Moi after the Kenyatta days.

To Be continued

In my twice weekly email newsletter Kumekucha Confidential, I talk about how the two principals, Mwai Kibaki and Raila Odinga made their fortunes. If you are not a subscriber already, you can subscribe right now. It is free. Or send a blank email to kumekucha-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Get 5000 people to see your product or service, you DON’T need a website and its’ ALL FREE
…And after that get 1,000,000 more hits for FREE

Coming Soon: Major Cabinet Reshuffle to Name New VP…., Snap Elections Next?

Deputy Prime Minister & Minister of Trade Uhuru Kenyatta answers journalists' questions during a press conference during the fifth day of the World Trade Organisation (WTO) ministerial summit on trade liberalisation talks, at the WTO headquarters, in Geneva, Switzerland, Friday, July 25, 2008.

For this country Kenya, the dreaded month of August has historically meant a national disaster or major calamity of some sort. For many Nairobi residents, today’s miserable weather in which the city witnessed unusual persistent showers and low temperatures could not have come at a worse day which also happens to be the first day of the jinxed month of August.

Sadly, information reaching this blogger will not make it better for any of you Kumekuchans. Sources inform this blogger that major political realignments are already underway even as anxiety grips the political class. Not only are cabinet ministers and MPs avoiding unpredictable Wilson airport flights, they remain acutely aware of unforeseen career-ending events that are beyond their individual control within the political arena .

Information leaking out of the corridors of power have got observers asking themselves how deeply indebted is this country to the so called first families? This follows revelations that the Kibaki succession is now about to precipitate a major cabinet re-shuffle aimed at elevating Uhuru Kenyatta to Vice President and in the process put him in pole position to be named the country’s next President?

Another shocker is that both government intelligence and other independent pollsters are already rating the Justice minister and fast rising Martha Karua as the most popular presidential candidate in Central Province at a whopping 65%. This is a marginal reduction from the surveys done early this year where she was rated much higher. Do the math of the number of registered voters in GEMA zones and you will have answered yourself as to why Steadman last week cleverly limited the survey to Raila and Kibaki and then went ahead and called it “highest approval ratings in performance” as opposed to “highest popularity rankings” of the already known presidential candidates as they have done in the past? Even more interesting, Steadman are still insisting on ranking President Kibaki whom every Kenyan knows is serving his last term and is no longer relevant to the future of this country. This is just but one of the reasons that the Justice & Constitutional Affairs minister will be a victim of the forthcoming cabinet reshuffle. Another obvious reason is to move Karua as far away as possible from the explosive and highly incriminating commissions of inquiry reports that have been gathering dust in government shelves.

According to impeccable sources, the current president is being bogged down by ill-health and his advance age. The fact that he will automatically be ineligible to seek re-election having served the constitutional maximum two terms is a major factor is forcing him to throw in the towel and open public speculation of an impending snap election. Matters are not made any better considering the well being of the first lady has been subject of intense rumour mongering since the botched December 2007 elections! The immediate first family is said to be deeply concerned about the welfare of the duo and are probably behind the fast-tracking of succession arrangements.

Insider strategists opine that the only way to safely leapfrog the Annan resolutions without being accused of sabotage is to call a snap general election that shall usher in a newly mandated government without any extra baggage obliging them to honour any post 2007 election deals. More importantly, it will ensure continuity of the old order under the preferred current constitution.

Folks, it is not a question of IF, but WHEN Martha Karua is inducted into the powerful ODM pentagon. The expanded pentagon is expected to be representative of the face of Kenya. Uhuru’s camp assume that Raila Odinga and his ODM gang will have their fate sealed as soon as the NARA accord collapses. The president appears to have decided that he will leave it to Vice President (read- Project II) Uhuru Kenyatta to decide how to handle Raila and Karua whom are expected to accept their official opposition role since Kenya remains a multiparty democracy.

Kalonzo's fate in the post Kibaki alignments remains unclear but what is clear is that he has out-lived his political usefulness in the current set-up. Uhuru's appointment, unlike Musalia's in 2002, is being aimed at giving him an upperhand in the succession battlefront. It is being left to Uhuru to determine whom he will form an alliance with.

Kumekuchans you can take the information you read on this post/blog to the bank. In other words, you should expect to vote again much earlier than 2012.

Government To Implement Kalonzo Musyoka’s Campaign Pledge

The grand coalition government has taken the first step towards creating a 24 hour economy in Kenya.

In his weekly press briefing to journalists yesterday, government spokesman Alfred Mutua said that the government was studying various departments to see which ones would immediately justify longer hours of service and which ones should be open 24 hours.

---------------------

Also in Kumekucha today: Is your small business in trouble?

Relationship headaches: How important is the age difference in a relationship?

---------------------

Kenyans will remember that this was one of the key election pledges of presidential candidate Kalonzo Musyoka and his ODM-Kenya party in last year’s general elections.

The good thing here is that we are beginning to get a glimpse of some of the advantages of competitive politics. This is welcome because so far we have mostly been treated only to the deadly repercussions of it, more so in a culture where politicians are too quick to fall back on divisive tribal politics to gain an advantage.

Although the change in Kenyan politics is much slower than what most Kenyans would want to see, it is encouraging noting that we are slowly but surely heading in the direction of service delivery and ideas to improve the quality of life of the people.

The immediate benefits of a 24-economy include the fact that it will create numerous new employment opportunities and considerably speed up service delivery and hopefully development. Indeed it is an idea that is long overdue.

Already we have companies in the private sector like Nakumatt that offer 24 hour services in many of their outlets countrywide. This has been very well received and is so far working out well for the country’s largest supermarket chain.

Of course there are bound to be teething problems and the immediate concern for most Kenyans is understandably security more so now when crime has escalated considerably country-wide.

P.S. Chris is busy putting together the second part of his controversial weekend special on how the most respected Kenyan families made their dirty money. He has asked me to promise you all that in this weekend’s feature, nobody will be spared right across the political divide and including the politicians that some Kenyans hero-worship. Make a date with Chris this weekend, you won’t regret it.

Get 5000 people to see your product or service, you DON’T need a website and its’ ALL FREE
…And after that get 1,000,000 more hits for FREE

Is Kenya Hurtling Towards A Revolution?

The rolling strikes in Kenyan secondary schools have caught most of us by surprise. We are stunned that the kids we sent to school to learn have turned into stone-throwing, book-hating thugs with the capacity to wreck untold havoc on property and their own future. We've watched with dismay as boys and girls have gone on the rampage ostensibly to avoid doing some exams called MOCK. And since the start of this shameful orgy, we've all watched as politicians, from the president down, have peddled prescriptions that serve no useful purpose except to remind us of their infuriating lack of depth.

-------------------
Also published in Kumekucha today: Where did you guys meet?
Small Business Kenya: How wild animals can teach you about marketing
-------------------

At this point it has become clear that the strikes rolling through the undulating landscape of the Kenyan secondary school has absolutely nothing to do with MOCKs. The only mock-thing about them is that they are mocking us for having such a limited understanding of what goes on in the mind of our youths. Lest we forget the example we have set to them, I want us to look ourselves in the mirror and see what those boys and girls have seen in us. Are you ready?

The Mirror:

1. Lack of Opportunity. These kids have grown up in a nation where they've been repeatedly told that opportunity comes to those who stick it out in school, work hard and play by the rules. These are lofty ideals that sound noble even to the youth. Except that when they look around them, what they see is their brothers and sisters who've worked had, graduated from universities across Kenya, but are now reduced to roasting corn/maize at the bus stops and marketplaces in the nation. Some have even seen their parents fired and out of work for months. In the face of such reality, do we expect the kids not to despair?

2. Tribalism. Since the sixties, our nation has struggled to eradicate this very negative vice. We have failed. And now, just when things started looking up, Kenya has regressed into one of the worst periods as far as tribal relations in the country go. As the boys and girls in our schools look at the picture we've presented to them, what they see is a father in Kisumu cursing that Jarabuon father in Kiambu. They see the mother in Nyeri calling the mother in Tinderet something ugly. They see their brothers and sisters bite their lip in anger every time some one from a different tribe is on TV saying something. Hate, hate, hate. That's what we've given them. These are the kids we've sent to school to study next to that boy or girl they heard being cursed and called ugly words at home. And we wonder why they mock us?

3. Corruption. Most of these kids came of age in the days of John Githongo. When they read the newspapers, what they see is stories about massive corruption in the country, and the vice is perpetrated by men who should be the example. When they read about Anglo-Leasing, Goldenberg, Turkwell, Ken-Ren and now the Grand Regency, what these kids see is a society where the rules don't matter. What seems to matter is how high up you can go by literally looting from Kenyans...and this only when you are well connected. Now, how many of these kids are well connected? Do we put ourselves in their shoes and wonder how they see Kenya? Do we?

4. A Culture of Impunity. Mta Do? Folks, whether we like it or not, the kids have only us to learn from. It would be nice if they followed the example of the penguins, which form binding communities where the young are cared for and trained to be effective adults. Unfortunately for our youth, what they have as an example is a president who blatantly steals an election and asks Mta Do? They have a police commissioner who sits at the Waki Commission and proclaims that he'd do everything exactly the way he did it if what happened in January happened today. Does he remember that people were killed by his forces? Does he recall the shoot-to-kill order by Grace kahindi? What should the kids learn from a man like that? And how about the fact that Kiraitu Muriungi is a minister after the Githongo tapes? Look, what the kids learn from this is simple. Impunity pays. Can we blame them when they get discouraged? Or when they think they can get away with burning dorms and classes?

5. Violence. Unfortunately, when confronted with a deaf and blind leadership, most societies resort to violence. That's what we did after the elections were stolen. But have we stopped to wonder what the kids saw when Kenya went through that meltdown? In those classrooms where we sent those kids, there were some of them who saw a friend killed, a father hacked to death, a sister burnt alive, a brother kill someone, a child left hungry, a home burnt. The list is endless. Yes, those kids saw a lot. But again, have they been given any counselling about the trauma they faced? At what point are we going to realize that our continued inability to do things right is creating a society of future delinquents and felons? Through our violent ways, we've legitimized violence as a means of resolving issues. So why are we stunned when the kids do what they've learnt from us? They are looking at our condemnation of them now and saying...what a bunch of hypocrites!

Fellow Countrymen, that's what the kids see when they look at us. We stink, don't we? But what makes it worse is that we now sit in judgement of them. We must take away their cell phones, we say. We must cane them. We must charge them in a court of law. Their parents must pay. We must expel the ringleaders. This is all bullshit. What must be done is for us adults to start acting our age, and be a good example to these kids. But that is a long-term solution. Here is what can be done to have an immediate impact in schools.

Prescription:

I. Let's avail books in schools in equal measure throughout the country. When I went to Kanga High School in the late eighties, the late Hezekiah Oyugi made sure our school was well stocked with books, excellent teachers and even good food. I turned around and looked at neighbouring schools like Rakwaro and Iterio and wondered how the kids in those other schools were expected to compete with us. It seemed unfair. If the government implemented a blind policy that treated all schools equally, in terms of resource allocation, the kids might actually fall in love with the MOCKs. What's keeping us from doing this?

II. Parents must start being there for their children. Admittedly, it's hard to be an effective parent when you must struggle to even put food on the table. Still, parents must be proactive in their children's lives. A father must teach his son how to be a God-fearing, law-abiding citizen. A mother must teach her daughter how to take good care of herself and handle herself with dignity. We must all remember that what society teaches our children is in addition to a foundation of learning started at home.

III. Family Planning must be brought back as a means of managing our resources and enhancing effective parenting. Whatever it takes, we need to work toward a society where we bring into this world only that number of children we can take good care of. It doesn't make much sense to have a third child when one can't take care of the first one, does it?

IV. We can make the MOCKs a school-specific issue. Let Kanga High School carry on its MOCKs. Let Lenana carry on its. And let Chebwai carry on its. That way the pressure to compete bigger schools right now, at a time when those bigger schools are more well endowed and resourced, is eliminated.

V. Finally, let me suggest that a society where God is not worshipped with the humility and reverence He deserves is hurtling toward self-destruction. There was once a time when the name of God, uttered in our presence, made each of us sit and take notice. Today God is just another name. I pray that we can focus the attention of our youths on God once again. We must do all we can to make God relevant. The best thing that can and will ever be said about the youth in Kenya is...They know Jesus christ as their personal saviour. That's when Kenya will have arrived.

This is not a conclusive or exhaustive prescription by any means, it's just my way of weeping for a nation that must turn a corner right now, or watch as we all hurtle toward a revolution!

For Love of Country,

Guest column by Sam O. Okello

Uhuru Rents a Mob for Kibaki Succession War

Kibaki succession is taking interesting and heated shape. With Iron Lady Karua shooting from the hip and calling Prof Kiarie Kinuthia's bluff, Uhuru has reverted to Kanu’s time tested and tried rend-a-mob theartics. And Jomo Jr has an able hand in one David Murathe to do the ground work in ferrying mouths to hotels to shout a prepared script. Boy, it never stops being interesting as the delegation gimmicks of yore are replayed right before our eyes for a seat that is more than 50 months a way.

Karua is out with all her guns blazing and she seems aware and prepared of the consequences. You have to understand anger and sense of betrayal burning inside the lady from Gichugu. She stuck her neck out making herself the intellectual and visible face of Kibaki during the post election violence only to receive a generous kick in teeth as Jomo Jr pick the trophy. Martha has made her intentions known and damn the consequences. Firing her now may just turn her into a hero and a magnet for sympathy votes.

Karua has STUCK Uhuru with the most lethal venom and no amount of shadow boxing will wash UK’s design as fashioned by the old geezers behind the throne pushing for his coronation. Watching Mama Ngina’s boy ducking HARD TALK’s point blank question on how much land Kenyatta family owns only confirms why his only political option lies in PROJECT PHASE II. Karua’s has dropped the gauntlet that Uhuru would rather face her than use surrogates. Will he pick it? Your guess is as good as mine. Such a challenge would demand an astute political spine which is a rare commodity in UK’s closet.

Political top-up
Kibaki meanwhile is staring open rebellion that threatens to consign him to premature political menopause. Emilio’s minders and cronies are not doing the old man any favour in pushing him to secure their financial interests in advance. These vultures have left baba Jimmy in the middle of fires started from all directions. They won’t stop at anything in their mission to auction Kenya and new deals are popping up everyday despite array of commission of inquiries already in place to cover previous FRAUD that are embarrassingly crawling out of the wood works.

Deception in whatever shape is unsustainable and like lies its consequences are damn costly. Trying to actively micro manage a political that only exists on paper is a sure recipe to expose the rot and incompetence hitherto glossed through fraud. True to the adage whatever goes around comes around, Kibaki is destined to have eggs and tomatoes plastering his face during this time in his political sunshine. This will be sooner rather than later when the first brick comes off the political tower of Babel that is PNU.

Titus Naikuni, Kenya Needs You, Will You Ignore Her?

There is no doubt that history will judge many prominent Kenyans very harshly indeed. It will be said of them that they stood and watched as the motherland went to the dogs… and they did absolutely nothing.

Is it the selfish streak so many of them seem to have of minding their own business and making money and staying away from the very murky waters that are politics in Kenya?

------------------------

Also inside Kumekucha today: Small Business Kenya: How a solar company created an ingenious selling system

How to deal with a nasty mother-in-law, tips that will never fail

------------------------

It is instructive that in recent times many of them have discovered that if you stick to business and ignore the politics, the politics will not always ignore your business and sooner or later it will end up affecting your business. A perfect example of this happening was the beginning of this year when post election violence brought the entire country to a halt and nobody could transact any business.

I assume that I am talking to some of the most intelligent members of our society and it does not take a rocket scientist to tell that Kenya is not far from shut down the way our politics is going at the moment. So those who are determined not to have any involvement in Kenyan politics should make sure that they make all the money they can as quickly as possible over the next few months because the end is nigh.

Some very clever Kenyans in the run up to the 2007 elections had started floating the name of Titus Naikuni as a possible presidential candidate. Mr Naikuni who is the CEO of the national carrier, Kenya Airways dismissed the rumours and said that he had no interest in politics. He failed to get the hint or totally ignored it, I have no idea which.

If truth be told, Mr Naikuni is a great Kenyan who has done the country proud. Anybody who understands the airline industry will know that it is easier for a River Tana crocodile to ignore easy prey when it is hungry than for any airline in the world to make a profit. Indeed many have shut down and gone into bankruptcy in the recent past. However under very difficult circumstances the national carrier has consistently made profits under the guidance of Mr Naikuni.

Not only that, Mr Naikuni’s leadership skills have been tested time and again. Who will forget the KQ Doula (Cameroon) air disaster of last year and how Mr Naikuni offered leadership at a very difficult time for the airline?

It is clear that the leadership skills the KQ CEO has already displayed can be put to great use charting a new course for the ship called Kenya.

One of the great fears younger Kenyans have of getting into politics is that they always fear the extremely “dirty” nature of Kenyan politics. And with good reason. You see the rules were made by the current dinosaurs and were clearly designed to keep those more gifted and talented than themselves from making any headway in the Kenyan political arena. But as US Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama has proved, it is possible to change the rules. So effective was Obama during the democratic primaries that at the end of the contest Hilary Clinton’s dirty tactics boomeranged back on her and proved completely ineffective.

What Kenya needs is a revolution and young Kenyans running multi million shilling corporations need to get involved pronto in mapping out a new direction for the country.

And don’t forget folks, we are already in injury time.

Over to you Mr Naikuni.

More information on Titus Naikuni

P.S. If they still have cold feet in this time of great crisis, prominent Kenyan CEOs can still play a key role by helping to identify appropriate candidates and then using their skills and resources to support them. They must realize that the entire crop of people calling themselves political leaders in Kenya today need to go home and pave way for a new generation, preferably born after independence in 1963. My two cents.

Made in Libya: Gaddafi Call Kibaki's Bluff

Kibaki must have seen it coming. Leader Gaddafi knows his turf and with the hindsight that there is NO MONEY to refund he is shamelessly reading a sitting president riot act in his own backyard. This must be the ultimate price for serial DECEPTION and FRAUD. Boy, and the bravado with which it is delivered beggars no remorse.

Diplomatic etiquette has been tossed out of the window. The head of Libyan delegation, a Mr Bashir, didn't even have to wait for the PPS to release a briefing. He went ahead to address, nay warn, Kenyans that the GR deal is a done deal and we can do nothing about it, file closed. Vintage Muamar Gaddafi is turning the knife deep inside where it hurts most. And his delegation couldn’t have come at a worse time just when the Cockar commission is starting to stage-manage an enquiry whose outcome is already typed and proof read. Okemo and his team can breathe all the fire under their belly but the the lever rest with Kibaki and and with embarrassment starring him right in the face, Parliamentary committees can go to hell on a one way ticket.

Mr Bashir couldn't have mastered his script so well. His brand of brinkmanship with which he delivered is akin to paying Kibaki with his own coin. The CBK boss will soon see his lid blown off after LYING to Okemo’s committee that the money paid for Grand Regency is there. Never mind the fact that the same good professor previously denied sell of the same. Gaddafi must be feeling vindicated in his LOW opinion of black African leaders. He has turned our marionette inside out and now he is airing him out to dry in shame.

Expoiting fraudulent leadership
The present drama is an act performed in arrears to complete the bloody script of ELECTION THEFT. Those who have been gleefully asking for proof of the same don’t have to ask any more. We haven’t see anything yet. The Libyans have proved to be smart economic mercenaries and they are out for a BIG KILL. With the CEO right in the mix, there is no escaping and they are surely having their way. Only in Kenya do we get a foreign country trashing on going investigations and commissions. Bashir has categorically dismissed outcome of any of these probes in advance by declaring that Libya is not bound by any such niceties. With the CEO under AUTO life, the looting and auctioning of property Kenya is guaranteed to gain momentum in earnest. Kazi na uporaji iendelee.

Poor Barrack Hussein Obama

After roaming up and down Europe in a serious bid to illustrate his international credentials, our favorite son is only leading by 5%. If the elections were held tomorrow, Hussein would loose terribly. Especially if you recognize the fact that white voters usually lie when responding to poll questions in contests where a black candidate is facing one of their own. The other known fact is that a very high percentage of blacks who respond to polls will definitely not vote….if history is anything to go by. Most Kenyans will be pulling doubles so they wont vote. Things are tough folks. Some reputable political analysts have opined that Barrack must be ahead at the polls by 15-20% for him to win the vote by 2-3%.

So what are these Americans trying to teach Kenyans when they reject Barrack? Here we are listening to Condoleezza Rice and trying to emulate every aspect of American democracy, music, style, way of life etc… and they turn around and reject our progeny. Hii ni mambo gani bwana?

How much harder must our guy try? I mean, how can Obash anticipate loosing to a guy who will most likely die in office due to very bad health. Our friend's campaign kitty is over twice that of McCain but he's still being received shabbily. Currently, the political correct reason for anti-Obamaism seems to boil down to his inexperience. The bolder player haters have even started talking about the wife's un-presidential qualities. Some are saying charisma and handsomeness (kama ya Kalonzo) is not going to fix the economy and stop the war in Iraq.

This is what I say; if Obama looses, it will be because the election will have been rigged. I will demonstrate in Washington DC and throw stones relentlessly…or until Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran is called in to mediate the power sharing talks between Obama and McCain. Kenyans must be prepared to send the holy and magnificent cardinal Njue to help in coalition talks. You see, our boy is a Kenyan and he must act like a Kenyan. The way I see it, when the time comes, he should not accept anything less than royal executive premiership with imperial leadership in congress plus chairmanship in the supreme court. No bill shall become law without our (or is it 'his') signature.

What do you say?

Why John Githongo Would Be The Ideal President For Kenya

Since the ill-fated referendum of 2005, the country has rapidly sunk into an abyss of tribalism that climaxed in the ugliest spate of violence ever seen on the continent last January. Surely even in the bloodletting in Rwanda they did not burn women and children inside churches, did they?

----------------

Also published today in Kumekucha: Deadly mother-in-laws

Small Business Kenya: The most important small business secret

----------------

Two men will be judged harshly by history for what has happened in our beloved motherland. The first one is Mwai Emilio Stanley Kibaki who ignored advice from several quarters, including the church, to postpone the referendum until tribal tensions cool down. Instead his blundering administration has continued on a steady path of taking Kenyans to the slaughter. The second man whom history will judge harshly is the director general of the NSIS, Michael Gichangi. Of all spy chiefs in the history of the region the man has made too many mistakes and Kenyans should now be asking themselves why he is still in office. His remaining at the helm of the NSIS is a threat to national security. See the long list of deadly blunders Gichangi has made (it is FREE) that have brought the country to its’ knees.

Most people fail to appreciate that one of the advantages of having a free speech zone on this blog (although some folks have badly abused the privilege to further their own selfish agenda) is that one gets to see a clear reflection of what is happening on the ground. Complete with the emotions and prejudices. If this is true (and I have plenty of evidence to prove that it is) then the comments here tell you that the country is very far from being healed. So why should anybody discuss 2012 and the presidential elections when clearly the country will never be ready for another general elections at this rate? More so when our so-called leaders are ignoring the clear danger signals that tell us all is NOT well.

Am informed that in the ongoing spate of secondary school strikes, disciplined schools that have previously had excellent reputations like Machakos Girls, Machakos Boys and Hospital Hill high in Nairobi amongst others have now joined the rapidly growing list of schools where students have gone on the rampage destroying property worth millions of shillings. As usual the government is busy treating the symptoms rather than the disease by arraigning many youngsters in court to face criminal charges.

If there ever was a clear and obvious hint for our leaders to prove that all is not well countrywide, then it is the current spate of school strikes. But still they ignore all the fires being lit in schools all over the country. The latest statement from the duly elected president is that parents will have to pay for the damage their children have caused in schools.

You see the truth is that Kenya currently has no leaders. What we have are some immature and very selfish men and women thinking only about themselves and others jostling for power and the presidency ahead of 2012, even as the country continues to spiral dangerously towards disaster.

Now is the time for a new generation of leaders to emerge. Their time and their chance is NOW. Currently the younger people of Kenya, born after independence are busy chasing money in various corners of the world. Many of them read this blog on a regular basis. And sadly many of them have been dragged down into the ongoing silly and primitive “tribal wars.”

The young people of Kenya need to come back to their senses now and take back their country from the hands of “the wolves” that now have it firmly held in their grasp for selfish ends.

One man whom I see as vital in getting Kenyans to rally around this noble cause irrespective of their party or tribal inclinations is former ethics PS John Githongo. We need somebody with a track record of saying “NO” to corruption and John is exactly that person. I mean the guy risked his life when it would have been easier to take the money and look the other way. We also need somebody whom we are sure will never fall back to his tribe in a crisis. John is that person. The guy cannot even speak Kikuyu properly. For all intents and purposes, he is tribeless. Above all we need somebody young and born after 1963 and yet somebody who has the experience to make things happen. John has that and already works with various worldwide organizations and lobby groups.

I stand to be corrected but I cannot think of any better qualified person to rally all Kenyans from all tribes to do something like yesterday for the motherland before it is too late.

I am of course keenly aware that this post will upset many of my dear readers who are staunch supporters of the Prime Minister, Raila Odinga. These guys don’t want to hear about any other president for 2012.

But my dear beloved brothers and sisters, please let us reason for a moment. I need to ask a very simple question. Will a Raila Presidency unite a country that is badly torn right down the middle? The answer to that question is NO. Raila is a great man, but he cannot pull this one off. Let him prove his greatness beyond any reasonable doubt by making the greatest of all sacrifices and stepping aside for a new generation of Kenyans to take over.

I must also ask if a Martha Karua, Uhuru Kenyatta or George Saitoti presidency is capable of uniting the country. The answer again is a resounding NO. We need a fresh start and that that start needs to have its’ foundation in fighting corruption.

My dear fellow Kenyans we need to start thinking outside the box and it needs to happen NOW. This is very very urgent.

Please Do Not Marry Fat Pot-Bellied White Women!!

.......why Githongo must come back home very fast.

We are all aware of the thousands upon thousands of able Kenyan men who cannot resist marriage to very fat white women when they are in pursuit of makaratasi. I'm sure some of you reading about this phenomena are victims of the same. The plan is usually to avoid any children for the two or three years it takes to receive that precious document. Unfortunately, some of these extra wide voluptuous white women become very crafty and indeed end up producing one or two babies. Many Kenyans have reached that crossroad; do you stay and enjoy that extra white mattress of a woman for the rest of your life or do you take off knowing that you will pay child support for the next 18 years? In retrospect, many Kenyan men wish they had a referee in the bedroom to ensure that no unwanted goals were scored at all costs.

Folks, it is at this very timely moment in our history that we need 'Githongo the Referee'. It's my hope that this man heeds the PMs call to come back to Kenya. You see, in the coalition marriage between ODM and PNU, it is quite clear who the very fat pot-bellied white woman is. It is also clear who the do-what-it-takes Kenyan man is. My friends, If we are not careful, we will find ourselves with very many babies. These babies will continue to have names such as Anglo-Leasing, Goldenberg etc. If we allow this very bad behavior to happen, Kenyans will have no option but to pay child support bills for very many years. Our paychecks will be garnished by the taxman until we are very old men and women.

I will remind you that we have recently paid child support bills in blood. Yes fellas, the post election violence, land disputes etc was actually a backdated child support bill resulting from the children brought into this world by our married post colonial leaders (the ones who stole all the land).

The way I see it, we need 'Githongo the Referee' to be in the State House bedroom at all hours. We need him there to ensure that this coalition marriage does not get too cozy and comfortable. Githongo must ensure that the bedroom lights remain brightly lit…...even at night. We need Githongo to thwart any efforts or schemes that will lead to fat white women with pregnant bellies. He must make sure that no champagne or changaa is drunk in the bedroom because we all know where that leads to.

For the love of country, Githongo must accept to be the prophylactic that prevents the conception and delivery of corruption.

Otherwise, babies will continue popping out very rapidly….as in the case when you make popcorn from scratch.

Eventful Weekend Where Nasty Snakes Were Smoked Out Of Their Holes

To be perfectly honest with you I did not really realize just how sensitive a topic I was touching on in my weekly special feature this past weekend. That was until some rather strange comments (some of which I deleted started popping up).

---------------
Also in Kumekucha today: Mother-in-law or Monster-in-law?
How a small business was rescued from bankruptcy to prosperity. Copy the tips.

---------------

What would you do if you have been a strong anti-corruption activist for many years and then you are suddenly confronted with the question of how your own family acquired the wealth that was used to pay for your education to enable you to be where you are today?

There is no doubt that the topic of how the wealthiest Kenyan families made their money has rubbed many up the wrong way. But it is a reality that we MUST face. And for many reasons but mainly because for the war against corruption to be successful, justice cannot be dished out selectively. And yet for that justice to be done, one would have to touch virtually every prominent respectable wealthy family in Kenya today. This cuts across both the so-called old money and the newer money and it also cuts across political parties and tribes.

Even more disturbing is the fact that the top 5 wealthiest Kenyans are all names from Kenyan politics.

My report this weekend certainly smoked many “snakes” out of their holes. And they come out firing from the hip, both barrels desperately blazing. One commentator claimed that by offering sensitive information via email, I was collecting email addresses to sell to Nigerian scam artists. Now that is somebody who is really running scared over the information that is now being widely distributed to Kenyans. Let me tell you a secret. One of the reasons why I favor email is that emails get forwarded all over the place and a vast number of Kenyans will end up getting information in the safety of their email inboxes that many rich Kenyan families would do anything to keep from them.

I take this opportunity to reassure all those who request for my free sensitive information via email that I highly respect their privacy and will NOT pass on their email addresses to anybody (let alone Nigerian conmen). I urge you all to trust me on that one, in the same way you have trusted me to bring you political information that you cannot possibly find anywhere else. In fact the issue of privacy and security is one of the reasons why I have opted to use Yahoogroups the most reputable email opt-in service in the world who also have a reputation to protect. I have done this rather than use many of the other options including my very own software. Yahoogroups is also very easy to opt out of and you can stop my emails coming to you at any time (no questions asked). I therefore urge those readers who are yet to register to do so as recent developments are going to force me to increasingly reveal the most sensitive information I have via email. The service is of course free, send your email Now.

The other ominous threat that I have taken very seriously is that of a man who has said that he intends to shut down this blog in two weeks. You see how desperate folks are?

But I will not be stopped and this is one of the reasons why I have decided that I will continue with this hot topic on how the wealthiest Kenyan families acquired their illegal wealth in my weekend special, next weekend. Don’t miss the second and final part of this important feature which is bound to be even more sizzling hot than last weekend’s.

I would urge all Kenyans to be brave enough to face the truth, however terrible it is. It is the only way we are going to save the motherland.

A Generation Ruined by Deception and Fraud

The revelation that cheating in national examination is the principal reason behind the present spate of destruction in our secondary schools paints a very bleak future for the Kenyan youth. We may choose to live in denial but after last year’s examination debacle, the Kenya National Examination council (KNEC) lost its credibility and the present unrest is doing the institution’s name no good. The first casualty will be the authenticity and quality of KNEC certificates and their acceptance by other institution and employers both locally and abroad.

Blaming the current riots in schools on illicit drugs and poor parenting is akin to immaculately dressing a festering wound. Granted, these two factors together with erratic communication between students and their teachers outside the classroom are symptoms of a dysfunctional system. Well, the Minister for education has not disappointed either by jumping to such cosmetic measures like banning DVDs and music from school buses. But again you don’t expect the good minister to prescribe a noose for his own neck after renewing KNEC CEO’s tenure oblivious of the examination fiasco characterized by historic TOP UPS.

If you thought Kimunya’s head rolled because he lied on camera think again. Amos was only unfortunate to have not spiced his untruths with enough bravado and impunity. He should have consulted Minister Ongeri who denied any cheating in last year’s KCSE neither recourse to mock results despite the emerging facts that dead and sick students who never sat their exams have results similar to their mock outcome.

Impunity and self-deception
Despite media highlighting exam frauds every year the ministry and her dinosaur PS have been on a mission to destroy a whole generation with their irresponsible acts of impunity and deception. Head teachers have confirmed large scale cheating in exams since 2005 and now the then form ones who are his year’s candidates cannot afford the pain of being subjected to rigorous assessment while they know cheaper way to examination success awaits them anyway. Give it to them, these students are smart and won’t risk jeopardizing guaranteed superlative performance by sitting mocks whose results will only expose their schemes. After last year’s use of mock exams to moderate fraudulent KCSE results you cannot fail to see and feel the students’ fears.

No commissions or task forces will help us address our corrupt culture that singularly and exclusively define our socio-political setup in Kenya. It may have started with Moi meddling in everything under the sun including hasty and unprofessional introduction of the 8-4-4 education system. But IMPUNITY and DECEPTION by the Kibaki regime has accelerated the decay so much so that nothing within our borders is sacrosanct any more. While Moi had his tentacles spread anywhere to have his presence felt, Kibaki has DELEGATED impunity and fraud to his cronies who milks the cow even after she has dropped dead.

Education has lost its pride amidst poor Kenyans as the only avenue to make a mark on individual and community lives. Primitive wealth accumulation is our singular obsession and the rich are busy buying exams for their kids. School heads have been threatened if they fail to facilitate cheating. Lack of focused leadership is our bane and our wrong education system focusing exclusively on academics is not spared this malady. Until such a time that we stop electing leeches for leaders and impunity and deception are banished from national psyche, we are unwittingly hurtling towards self destruction.