Mechanics Behind Raila Odinga’s Surprise Running Mate

There is no potential presidential candidate for 2012 at the moment that has a more organized think tank than the Prime Minister Raila Odinga.

What is a think tank and how important is it to a Kenyan presidential candidate?

When faced with the biggest challenge of his long political career in 1991 president Daniel arap Moi was advised to constitute a think tank specifically tasked with keeping him in power at all costs. This is the group that devised several schemes including what later came to be known as the Goldenberg mega-scandal. Goldenberg was of course designed to raise the cash required to get Moi re-elected in a very hostile pro-reform environment mostly rooting for the opposition. Uhuru Kenyatta, the project presidential candidate of 2002 was also birthed in the confines of a think tank working on a viable exit strategy for Daniel arap Moi. Don’t laugh because it almost worked. Had Raila Odinga not led the revolt within Kanu that dramatically strengthened the opposition, we would be talking a very different story today.

Musalia Mudavadi: Never cut his political teeth in the trenches

Think tanks have decided the outcome of an election many times and there is no doubt that the candidate who finally makes it into State House as the fourth president of Kenya will have an excellent think tank carrying him there.

But critical to any think tank this time round will be its’ ability to appreciate the mechanics of the new ball political ball game in town, courtesy of a new constitution that is already being billed, one of the best anywhere in Africa.

This is precisely the reason why information leaked to this blogger recently about the kind of direction Raila Odinga’s think tank is taking should be of great interest.

Raila’s team is of the opinion that women voters can be used to turn the tide in their favour and are determined that Raila’s running mate this time round should be a woman.
The most influential voters at the grassroots have always been known to be women. But sadly they hate to vote for one of their own. However if somebody managed to package a presidential candidate whom they were sure would champion their interests there is little doubt that they would enthusiastically support such a candidate.

This is why if Raila’s closest advisors have their way, his running mate in the coming elections will be from the fairer sex.

The name that keeps on cropping up is that of Charity Ngilu. The advantages of madam Ngilu being Raila’s running mate are many but the most obvious one would be that she would neutralize any support that Kalonzo Musyoka may claim to have in his Ukambani backyard.

Still there are those who are sure that Kalonzo Musyoka is a non-starter in any presidential race (including yours truly) and so any serious contender has no business wasting their time crafting a strategy to deal with a non-entity when real emerging opponents are in the horizon. And that is why chances are extremely high that if the PM will ends up choosing a female running mate then he is bound to choose a political nobody who has the ability to attract young voters and repackage the Raila ticket as a somewhat youthful progressive new beginning team.

So… what about Musalia Mudavadi?

For those in the dark, Raila’s closest advisors have always considered Musalia Mudavadi more of “a passenger” than an asset within ODM and specifically in their candidates’ quest for State house. The coming general elections will no doubt be the most competitive ever witnessed in these shores. Nobody can afford to even consider having passengers in the periphery of their campaign team, let alone as their running mate.

There are those who remember that Musalia Mudavadi’s lukewarm political career was launched when former president Daniel arap Moi hand-picked him to replace his father, Moses Sabstone Mudamba Mudavadi, the man said to have given Moi a promotion in the days when he was a teacher, a gesture that Moi never forgot and it also launched a close friendship. Read more in my Dark secrets book. The point is that the younger Mudavadi never really cut his teeth in the trenches of political initiation but instead had everything delivered on a silver platter by Uncle Dan.

Musalia cannot even deliver a fraction of his own Luhya backyard at the moment and so it would hardly make any sense to have him as a running mate. Nothing personal, it’s just business.

Can a man who used violence to try and take power be allowed to be president of Kenya?

The new constitution (what Kumekucha calls the wild hungry animal loose in Kenya today) is great because it gives great power to the people. But with great power comes great responsibility.

One of the responsibilities that the Kenyan people will have to speedily learn how to handle is that of making their own decisions on character, something that was previously done on our behalf, for better or for worse, by the corrupt political class.

And even as Kenyans vet judges and other personalities for sensitive public office they will also have to carefully vet various other characters for the highest office in the land. Yep. Although the presidency is not as powerful as it once was it is still powerful enough to cause concern on whom we want to occupy the office.

Revelations that came out of the Truth Justice and Reconciliation Commission sitting in Bungoma a few hours ago (Sunday) are extremely shocking to say the least. These revelations highlight the role of the man who won the disputed 2007 general elections and the current Prime Minister Raila Odinga in the failed bloody 1982 coup attempt.

The 1982 botched coup is still shrouded in mystery to this day (although readers of my land mark book Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency GET IT FOR FREE NOW have had a head start with lots of information that has never been in the public domain). But what emerged from the TJRC for the first time on Sunday is a clear link between the leader of the failed coup senior private Pancreas Ochuka and Raila Odinga. According to Retired Kenya Air Force officer Maxwell Kivihya, Raila met Senior Private Hezekiah Ochuka several times at a house on Fourth Avenue Ngong Road in Nairobi. Ironically not very far from then President Moi’s residence at Kabarnet Gardens off Ngong Road.

It has always been a mystery as to how such a junior officer as Private Ochuka would have led a coup (although there is a precedent in the Liberian case—see my earlier post).

Other shocking revelations from the Bungoma TJRC hearings:

• A day after the abortive coup, former president Daniel arap Moi ordered that all Kenya Air Force men be rounded up and taken for hanging at Kamiti Prison. The directive was effected and servicemen and officers were locked up at Kamiti, Naivasha, King’ong’o and Shimo la Tewa prisons.

• President Moi appointed Brig Kibwana and Maj Musomba to conduct interrogations and torture of the Air force servicemen.

• Four categories of KAF airmen emerged during their arrest: those with prior knowledge of the coup, some of who escaped to Tanzania; those without prior knowledge, but who were imprisoned or hanged without legal processing and representation; those who stayed in prison, but could not be charged for lack of evidence and were later freed due to international pressure; and those who were charged and acquitted by the High Court.

• He also named a Lt Mwambura, Cpl Odero and Cpl Oriwa as some of the key players in the coup attempt that resulted in the loss of 300 lives, half of them university students and civilians.

• Only a quarter of the airmen who knew of the plot raised the alarm at the Eastleigh and Nanyuki barracks and took up arms in readiness for the next order, said Mr Kivihya. Cpl Odero ordered his men to go to the Nairobi CBD and wait for the next order, which had not come by the time loyal forces from the Kenya Army caught up with them. A few KAF airmen who had been taken to Broadcasting House were killed there by Kenya Army men.

What this blogger has revealed in the past that nobody else has ever discussed was the fact the retired President Daniel arap Moi opted to listen to an impassioned plea by Jaramogi Oginga Odinga and as a result spared the life of Raila Odinga. Jaramogi thus owed a huge debt to Moi. There is plenty of evidence that the politically sly Moi cashed in on this debt many times in the years that followed. This blogger cannot help asking questions like; did this debt help Moi in dismantling the formidable Ford juggernaut which if it had been allowed to stay intact would have without doubt removed Moi from power in 92? The original FORD members split into two major factions; Kenneth Matiba went with most of the Kikuyu vote to Ford Asili and this is what inspired Kibaki to form his Democratic Party (DP). While Jaramogi formed Ford Kenya with Wamalwa Kijana, Gitobu Imanyara and others.

So to answer the question posed at the beginning of this post. Bearing in mind that the Moi government was just a continuation of the Kenyatta regime by the time the coup was attempted in 1982, what Raila did was what any freedom fighter would do. Indeed Mandela did the same in South Africa. But it is a very close call indeed considering how young the Moi government was at the time.

But what everybody agrees is that the events of August 1982 changed Daniel arap Moi forever into a dictator proper.

Past Kumekucha posts on the 82 coup attempt and its' political implications:

82 coup unanswered questions linger

Coup plot revelations by Raila himself

President for 30 mins and the chaos of 82 coup

Another non-commissioned officer in Africa whose coup was successful

…but he ended up dying a terrible tortured death

Even as Kenyans focus on the events of August 1982 with new revelations by the TJRC in Bungoma, analysts will want to shift their attention to another coup in Africa also carried out by low-ranking soldiers that was unlike the Kenyan case, successful.

Top photo; the dramatic beach execution of President Tolbert's entire cabinet, below: Video footage of president Doe 10 years later being tortured and then killed.

Actually the Liberian coup of April 12th 1980 by 18 plotters (all non-commissioned officers) that brought master sergeant Samuel Doe to power (less than a month before his 29th birthday) is without doubt the bloodiest ever recorded in recent history.

The coup toppled 66-year old president William R. Tolbert Jnr who was immediately executed by one of the 18 (Harrison Pennoh, who later proved mentally unstable). The rest of the avialble cabinet that was captured were all executed in a very sick firing squad along a famous beach in Monrovia.

But 10 short years later President Samuel Doe was himself tortured and then executed on video tape. The video footage is still doing it’s rounds to enthusiastic audiences in Monrovia Liberia even as you read this. I carry some of the photographs from the video on this page. The most sickening cannot be published here and I have been forced to make it available only to my raw notes subscribers. President Doe's torture video showed his ears and fingers being hacked off and finally his naked dead body (hardly pictures I can publish here). 

But questions linger. How was it possible for such a young junior officer in the military to seize power without any backing from a more prominent person. Ochukah in Kenya had backing from Raila Odinga. There were rumours that Doe had backing from the Americans but even then military analysts marvel at how he would have pulled off such a thing.

But even more startling and unbelievable is how President Doe was captured by rebels while still in office with hardly any shots fired. The superstitious point to witchcraft having played a major role in both cases.

Here is the full gruesome details of the life and times of Master Sergeant Samuel Kanyon Doe;

Samuel Kanyon Doe was born on May 6 1951 in Tuzon, a small town in Grand Gedeh County, in the Southeastern part of Liberia. His parents were poor and uneducated and belonged to the Krahn tribe. Samuel Doe had only accomplished primary education when he became a career soldier because of lack of other job opportunities. In October 1979 he was promoted Master Sergeant in the Liberian Army. He was in his 4th high school grade and attending night school classes when he and a group of soldiers seized power, assassinated President William R. Tolbert, Jr., and established, for the first time in Liberia’s history, military rule over the country. It was April 12, 1980.

Since Samuel Doe was the highest ranking non-commissioned officer of the 18 plotters, all but him ordinary soldiers, he became Chairman of the People’s Redemption Council (PRC) that was created.

The military coup is still shrouded in lots of mystery and surreal happenings. People talk about them on the streets of Monrovia today and link it all to witchcraft and the popwerful magic behind President Samuel Doe that turned against him in the end.

But even the non-superstitious are hard pressed to explain the strange happenings For example how did preparations for the coup go unnoticed, given the fact that there was considerable political tension and also in light of the well-staffed U.S. Embassy in Morovia (over 500 people). Samuel Doe was not a publicly known figure in Liberia before April 12, 1980.

The military take-over, labelled ‘a revolution’ by the 18 soldiers was extremely bloody by any standards and toppled the Government of William R. Tolbert. The 66-year old President was then savagely murdered by private soldier Harrison Pennoh, who later proved to be mentally unstable. Within weeks all of the cabinet that was available at the time of the coup had been put on trial and sentenced to death. They were all publicly executed on a beach near Monrovia.

Head of State - Samuel Doe at numerous occasions reiterated the army’s pledge to return to the barracks but it was the usual populist talk by military dictators who get usually quickly get addicted to power. In reality Doe increasingly surrounded himself with members of the (small) Krahn-tribe. The US was greatly relieved when Doe maintained the country’s pro-Western stance and the bloody butcher was even invited at the White House. It was here that President Ronald Reagan made his historic blunder when he cordially greeted the man ‘Chairman Moe’ when he warmly shook his hand. Liberia received more political and military assistance from the US in the decade of Doe’s rule than it had ever received, despite an increasingly deteriorating political climate and human rights record.

When in July 1985 the ban on politics and political parties was lifted President Doe created his own party, the National Democratic Party of Liberia (NDPL). He was the NDPL’s candidate for the presidential elections slated for October of the same year. The elections were neither free nor fair but Doe was declared winner with nearly 51 percent of the poll. There were numerous accusations of fraud and indications that the opposition Liberia Action Party (LAP), led by Jackson Doe (not related), was the real winner. The international community did not react, the US State Department ‘was pleased’. Dr Samuel K. Doe – he had received an Honorary Doctor of Philosophy Degree in Political Science from the University of Seoul during one of his numerous visits abroad – was sworn in as Liberia’s 20th President, and First President of the Second Republic, on January 6, 1986.

One month after the elections Doe’s former right hand, Commanding General Thomas Quiwonkpa led an armed invasion from Nimba County, in the north of the country. Soon the rebels were in Monrovia where they attacked the Executive Mansion. Two years earlier, Quiwonkpa, who hailed from Nimba County, had been accused of an attempt to overthrow the Government but was granted clemency. This time, during the November 1985 revolt, he was killed, his mutilated body publicly displayed. The excessive and brutal reprisals of the Krahn-led Liberian Army against the Mano and Gio, in Nimba County, proved to become important stepping stones to the civil war that officially began in December 1989 – also starting in Nimba.

On Christmas Eve 1989 an alliance composed of Americo-Liberians and Mano and Gio people, united in the National Patriotic Front of Liberia (NPLF), invaded from Cote d’Ivoire. The NPLF was led by Charles Taylor, a corrupt former civil servant under Doe, who was born from an Americo-Liberian father and a Golah-mother. An internal rift between the Americo-Liberian and tribal fighters in the NPFL resulted in a split led by the mentally ill ‘General’ Prince Johnson, from Nimba County, who created the Independent National Patriotic Front of Liberia. The Liberian army was soon losing control over a large part of the territory and Doe asked Nigeria’s president Babangida, with whom he presumably had common business interests, for support. In August 1990 the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) sent a 4,000 men peacekeeping force to Liberia, known as ECOMOG.

On September 9, 1990 President Samuel Doe, on a visit to ECOMOG-headquarters in Monrovia, was captured by Prince Y. Johnson. How this could happen is still unclear. Doe was tortured, mutilated and finally brutally killed by Johnson and his men. All gruesome details were videotaped. The tape later found its way all over West Africa and the world. Images of the videotape shocked the world. In the confusing period following Doe’s assassination, the psychopathic Prince Johnson claims to have been acting President, for three months, before the arrival of the Interim Government of National Unity (IGNU) headed by Professor Amos Sawyer.

Read also;

How taxes brought down a very powerful government in Kenya: The most important article you will read about Kenya's immediate future

Edwin Sifuna: A Remarkable Transformation within ODM's Political Landscape

Raila Odinga on Caroli Omondi hypocracy: Did you send him to vote yes on the finance Bill 2023, he asks voters 

Why investors are fleeing Kenya leaving the numbers of the jobless rising steeply

What happens to your body after you drink too much Coke

Truth be told, there are few things I love more than a Coke, usually cool. I even drink the stuff when it is as cold as it is at the moment in Kenya. For those who want to recognize Kumekucha Chris a sure way to do so is to look out for somebody coming out of a supermarket (usually Tuskys) already drinking their one litre Coke in a plastic bottle. I am just addicted to Coke.
So why am I writing this article? Because I have tried very hard to make the following information make me stop my Coke habits and mostly I have failed. And so in a last desperate attempt I have published these facts in Kumekucha hoping that this will trigger enough warning bells in my brain to help me stop. Let's hope it works for me and those of you out there who are cokeholics like I am.

If you usually gulp down too much Coke chances are very high that you could develop heart disease. According to a study published in 2007 in Circulation, the journal of the American Heart Association, subjects who drank a soda every day over a four-year period had a 25% chance of developing high blood sugar levels. The Nurses’ Health Study found that women who drank more than two sugary beverages per day had a 40% higher risk of heart attacks or death from heart disease than women who rarely drank sugary beverages.

It is also rather obvious that you’ll be fatter and you don’t need any research findings to tell you that. All that sugar will definitely bulge out in various parts of your body. Still (for those who want documented research) according to research in the Nurse’s Health Study, which monitored the health of 90,000 women for eight years, drinking a single soda every day of the week added 10 pounds over a four-year period.

This next one is pretty scary. Chances are that you’ll develop diabetes. In the Nurses’ Health Study, women who said they drank one or more servings a day of a sugar-sweetened soft drink or fruit punch were twice as likely to have developed type 2 diabetes during the study than those who rarely consumed these beverages. Again the main culprit is all that sugar.

Generally speaking, you’re bound to be less healthy ion many other ways. Several studies, including the 2007 study published in Circulation, suggest that diet sodas have some of the same effects on health as regular sodas, despite having none or very little of the sugar. Why? Drinking soda is typically part of an overall lifestyle that’s not very healthy: We know you don’t like us to compare drinking caffeine and sugar to substance abuse, but when it comes to your lifestyle, some think that soda is just like a gateway drug.

There. So after writing all that angry stuff about drug dealers it seems that I am a junkie after all. Ishindwe!!!

I had matumbo for Christmas... and no soda

The Mutula Kilonzo you don't know

News of the World Falls on Own Sword of Gossip

Call it Solomonic wisdom or whatever you fancy but that is exactly what James Murdoch did to shut a more than Century old newspaper in Britain in attempt to weather a storm caused by its reporters desperate for scoops at the expense of the victims.

To put the whole picture in perspective just imagine the Sunday Nation folding up because of a public backlash. Well that is the fate that befell UK's largest selling newspaper News of the World (NoW). And trust the Murdoch Empire to spring an unprecedented surprise to give itself room for reinvention.

Here is a recap for the uninitiated. Britain's best selling tabloid known for scoops on celebrities and politicians falls on its own sword by hacking phones of DEAD victims going as far as deleting messages to create room for more. Well, there comes a time when those with DISPOSABLE income for cheap talk cannot take such toxic gossip.

Give it to Rupert Murdoch's son James for sacrificing a whole institutions of 168 (yes one hundred and sixty eighty) years to please a populace suffocating from cheap gossip. But give credit where it is due, at least NoW showed some element of sensitivity albeit plastic. It is no brainer to see the Sun going the extra day to fill the smartly created void.

I couldn't fathom it when my students (remember the PENSIONER?) solicited my opinion on the merit of sacrificing a whole newspaper (NoW) to save its CEO Rebbekah Brooks. And there comes the common thread sewing politics across continents - POLITICS. Ms Brooks was the editor when all this hacking broke out early last decade and even testified on the same under oath. What is more, current UK PM's first director of communication - one Any Coulson - is the one who succeeded Ms Brooks besides the face that David Cameron himself was a social guest of Brooks sometimes back.

The moral of the present bombshell at NoW is that politics is the same evil across continents. Expediency is common denominator as evident in Rupert Murdoch's transparent gimmick to pull wool on the British's collective face while he schemes to buy BskyB later in the year.

In a nutshell when economics clashes with morals, there is only one winner an unfortunately it is not the later. Same game of deceit and fraud except played abroad. Let conspiracy theorists go overdrive to mint their stuff with regards to the present UK media Tsunami.

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Beware: Dangerous Wild Hungry Animal On the Loose in Kenya

If you are in Kenya the animal will get you if you don't take precautions, you have been warned

Please be patient and I will tell you about this very real and very dangerous animal on the loose.

Life is full of deals gone bad.

Allow me to tell you a little story that involves somebody very close to me.

This man when to see his girlfriends’ parents and was promised her hand in marriage. According to him it was a done deal more so because he was talking to her father who is an old man. Old wise men always keep their word don’t they? He left a happy man and went to start making all the necessary arrangements including getting his wife out of an expensive maternity hospital in the city.

Six short months later he was told that his girlfriend was getting married to a rich Asian tycoon. His girl friend claimed that her hands were tied; she had to do what her parents wanted. “But we had a deal (MOU—memorandum of understanding),” the jilted would-be husband protested to the old man. The old man got really angry and insisted that it was his daughter and he had a right to do what he wanted with “his property.”

This true story has an interesting ending. The Asian tycoon changed his mind because of a reason that had nothing to do with love and the poor “boomerang girl” was left hanging. And because the jilted man really loved her he is back on the scene.

Sometime last year the President and Prime Minister eager to get the new constitution passed (I am certain both have their deep regrets today) made a gentleman’s agreement with the 10th parliament. The legislators were worried that under the new constitution they would be required to pay taxes. They were reassured that this would only kick in when the 11th parliament came into the scene. Indeed the whole thing was put in writing with written assurances from both the finance secretary (Minister of Finance) and the chief tax man Bwana Waweru himself. Under the new constitution even if the president wrote and sealed a letter with his personal seal it would be null and void.

And the greedy legislators relaxed knowing that all was well and they could continue with their reckless spending and careless financial arrangements and basically enjoy their last few months in the house. Only for them to get a rude awakening about to weeks ago when the taxman presented the MPs with a huge tax bill backdated to August last year.

Everybody knows that story, but the big question is what triggered the taxman to demand his pound of flesh so suddenly and despite a high-powered MOU? Was it some political motive and if so by whom?

Many Kenyans are convinced that somebody was behind it for political reasons.

After some serious research I can today reveal the fascinating reason behind the legislators tax troubles. It will disappoint the conspiracy theorists but it is the truth.

When the new constitution was passed a friend who could not understand my excitement (just like many readers here) wondered if the constitution would really make a difference with all the impunity merchants still firmly in power. After all even the old constitution was often ignored. I remember my confident reply to that which I reproduce here word for word;

“The new constitution is an animal with a life of it’s own. There are going to be many many casualties to this animal, just wait and see. What we have done today is release a train that is unstoppable… not even the president has power to undo what has been done today.”

As I write this we have in Kenya for the first time a toothless president who cannot appoint his cronies at will. This alone has changed the political dynamics dramatically. This is the problem when change happens so fast. It takes time for stuff to sink in and register.

What is happening on the ground is that various institutions, now independent from the executive for the first time in history are carefully re-examining their positions under the new constitution. Especially because there are dire consequences to ignoring the constitution. KRA is one of the institutions that did just that and the result is what you see today.

Admittedly there are a few more institutions that are still in deep slumber (like the Kenya Police) but you can be sure that the animal will get them. Even parliament is still asleep trying to flex muscles that it really doesn’t have any more. Just watch what will happen to the Tobiko appointment.

We live in exciting times folks. Long live the new constitution with one important disclaimer; the animal will get to you too, so please re-read the constitution carefully.


Moi and Ruto secrets past and present

Property for sale in Nairobi and Mombasa

The Mutula Kilonzo you don't know

William “Statehouse punch up” Ruto and his 2012 strategy

Nobody can deny the achievements of Eldoret North legislator William Ruto. Above everything else he is the only person to openly defy President Daniel arap Moi in the Rift Valley and survive to talk about a resounding victory. He is also the only person I know who has been in a fist fight within the precincts of State House (more on that later in this post). Quite a character this Ruto who has recently re-packaged himself for gullible Kenyans...na bado.

William Ruto

In recent days Ruto has been terribly busy marketing his UDM political party in Mombasa where he has already received strong backing from the likes of Chirau Ali Mwakwere and Naomi Shaban.

And so it seems that Ruto will be a major force in the 2012 polls. Or will he be?

There are those who quickly point to Ruto’s massive support in the Rift Valley to prove that the Eldoret North MP will play a major role in deciding who the next occupant of State House will be. Indeed the behaviour of many legislators in the Rift Valley seems to suggest that nobody can challenge the man successfully amongst the Kalenjin community. How many legislators from the region have defied Ruto only to turn up the next day hat in hand and full of apologies?

Hi detractors simply point to the Hague and the battle awaiting Mr Ruto in the hands of the ICC. Hilariously there is a presidential candidate whose main strategy is based on Ruto and Uhuru not being around to challenge him for the presidency, but that is a story for another post.

But assuming he will survive (which I doubt) it is not difficult to figure out the kind of political calculations that may be going on inside the mind of William Ruto. Any presidential candidate who captures Rift Valley is almost there and needs just a little more support from the rest of the country to get enough numbers to get into the run off stage (most political analysts are sure that whatever way one looks at things we will have to go into a run off and so what presidential candidates have to do initially is to go for the numbers first.)

There is another school of thought that suggests that sly Ruto already knows that he stands no chance and is just positioning himself to make deals that will be beneficial to him with those who will emerge as the leading presidential candidates. This is what this blogger suspects is Ruto’s real game plan. There are many reasons for this but top on the list is the fact that financing a serious presidential campaign requires considerable resources. At the end of the day Ruto has consistently ensured that all his calculations have always ended up with more cash in his pocket. There is no reason to suggest why he should have it any different this time round. Ruto is not capable of attracting serious financing and although he is not a poor man it is unlikely that he will want to finance his own presidential campaign. Meaning that all he will do will be to position himself as a leading tribal chief to be courted by every serious presidential candidate for his own financial gain. Remember that this time round there are no cabinet posts to be distributed.

Having said this I will be the first to admit that Ruto is still capable of pulling off surprises, mostly of the nasty kind. This is the man who did the unimaginable in State House, Nairobi a few years ago when he attacked and punched Reuben Chesire, an elderly man who could pass for his father. Ruto had accused the old man of going around and tarnishing his name by telling people that he was a con-man.

Ruto, the democrat was also an official of the youth for Kanu 92 lobby group which dished out so much money to Kenyans in forms of bribes to ensure Moi's re-elected in the first multi-party elections of 1992. The inevitable effects of suddenly increasing money supply was runaway inflation, and was the point at which many Kenyans entered the deep poverty rut they are yet to emerge from today.

The former cabinet minister who was very powerful in a regime that stifled the basic democratic rights of Kenyans like freedom of speech and association told Kenyans at the Coast over the weekend that they should not elect anybody with a suspect past. Hilarious stuff is it not?

Moi and Ruto secrets past and present

Property for sale in Nairobi and Mombasa

Election Date A Secret Weapon Still?

When are we going to the polls?

Now that may sound like a strange question to ask. After all we have hardly implemented the new constitution and the legal infrastructure is definitely not in place for a general election to happen. So surely I am putting the cart ahead of the donkey, am I not?

Not really. Have you not noticed how election campaigns for the presidency have already kicked off in earnest?

The sure sign that the general elections are due sooner than most Kenyans think has been the announcement by Gachoka legislator Mutava Musyimi yesterday that he is vying for the presidency. Musyimi is a meticulous planner and not the kind of person to jump the gun on a whim and go public way too early. His announcement yesterday is a sure sign that elections are just round the corner and sooner than most Kenyans may think.

But what should really concern Kenyans is the recent tendency by politicians and the political class not to say anything to the public about how soon we may be headed to the polls. It evokes memories of retired president Moi who used to use the date of the elections as a political secret weapon to his advantage. Leading presidential contenders are busy criss-crossing the country but are silent on what all the urgency is about. Their behaviour gives them away.

Actually what is happening is that other candidates are frantically trying to cancel out the huge advantage candidate Raila Odinga seems to have. Indeed if elections were to be held today, Raila would start as favourite. In fact the earlier the election dates, the more of an advantage it will be to Raila Odinga.

But as I have said here before, candidates from the old order including people like Raila Odinga, WilliamRuto and Kalonzo Musyoka will suddenly find themselves positioned out of the running as long suffering Kenyans will earnestly seek a clean break from our past. And this is precisely why the front runners for the presidency this time round will be the most unlikely names anybody would expect.

To keep up with times, I will in the next few days start analyzing the kind of presidential candidates that I feel would make excellent possibles for the highest office in the land.

Tough Executive Decisions That Have Led Kenya to the Brink

Last warning: prepare for the worst like you never imagined in your worst nightmares
Every leader is faced with those terrible, terrible decisions. The more powerful your leadership position the more terrible the decisions you will have to make. I am talking about the kind of decisions where you toss a coin and if it is heads people die and if it is tails more people die. If you choose not to toss the coin then it is even worse because you postpone catastrophe.

Faced with this kind of terrible decision early in his administration, our dear president true to form chose the third option as he has done many times before. The result is that even if you don’t know it yet (just like many Kenyans) we are on the brink of unprecedented economic troubles.

You will remember that shortly after being sworn in on that most memorable day in December 2002 President Mwai Kibaki made his first speech where he emphasized that the new government would have zero tolerance to corruption. Looking back today those words ring hallow and empty because there are those who say that corruption has increased rather than decreased under Mwai Kibaki’s administration.

In retrospect it is now clear as day that the president had very good intentions at heart but one of his major shortfalls was his managerial weakness of failing to make critical decisions with the speed they deserve.

Try and empathize with his position as you read the following scenario. Those hundreds of wannabes who regularly get off imagining themselves in State house as president of the republic of Kenya please pay special attention and make a decision to withdraw your candidature. Quit dreaming only of the gardens of State house without taking into consideration the extremely tough decision-making side of high office.

Imagine the following scenario for a minute. That you are the president of Kenya and you are having a meeting with your advisors one morning. You have come to the meeting with some enthusiastic proposals to round up all the drug kingpins whom you know very well (everybody in the political class has known them for years) and you also want to shut down Eastleigh because you know that most of the cash from piracy off the Somali coast and beyond ends up there.

But your advisors tell you things that cause you to apply emergency brakes to your enthusiasm. If you move against drug lords in the country you will be sure to cut your own “political feet” because these are the people who oil politics in Kenya and you Mr President are no exception. Secondly the repercussions to the economy will be colossal. Cash from the evil trade props up the Kenyan shilling and indeed the entire Kenyan economy. If the hard drugs traffic is interfered with, you promptly interfere with the Kenyan economy and those who will be worst hit will be the common wananchi.

And before you recover another of your advisors gets up with statistics showing you the disaster that will befall the nation’s economy if you dare move against Eastliegh and the cash flowing there from piracy in the high seas.

If you are a good manager who makes decisions quickly chances are that you will opt to do nothing. If you are Barrack Obama you will think outside the box and create a third option that nobody ever thought of before. Chances are that it will be quite controversial but at least it will buy you political time and at least it will be a decision. But if you are Mwai Kibaki you will do the most dangerous thing of all. You will make no decision.

That is exactly what happened in 2003 and tragically that indecision has caught up with us after a chain of events has quickly brought us to the current circumstances. I want to keep this post as short as possible so the chain of events that have led us to today will be the subject of a future post.

The current situation is that the Americans are on the war path against the drug trade and are determined to shut down one of the busiest transit cities in the world, namely Nairobi. How do you kill a snake? According to the government policy in Kenya currently you start by hitting the tail of the snake as hard as you can and you follow this up by concentrating all your efforts on the tail of the snake (KACA tactics). But the decisive Americans have a different approach they go straight for the head and if the snake had a jugular that is exactly where they would hit with pinpoint precision. And that is why the two names of Kenyans were released by the Obama administration. The effect has been phenomenal. For all intents and purposes the drug trafficking business in Kenya and the region will never be the same again.

But what many people are yet to do is link this recent happening to the catastrophe that is unfolding on the economic front. It started with the shilling going on a free-fall. As I write this it has sunk to it’s lowest point in history at one point exchanging at Kshs 91 to the green buck.

After weeks of shocked confusion, the Central bank finally decided to react. What they did was predictable; yesterday they raised the benchmark CBR (Central Bank rates from 6.25 per cent to 8 per cent. What this means is that the rates across the board will increase… dramatically.

Historically this has been the only avenue Kenya has followed to tame inflation. This time it is clearly the wrong approach at the wrong time. Most experts agree that what the drastic increase of rates will do will be to choke the economy and dramatically slow down what little speed is still there going forward. If businesses find it increasingly hard to borrow they will lay off people for sure and those already using borrowed money whose cost has suddenly shot up will pass on the cost to the consumer for sure, raising prices further. But the really tragic thing here is that all this would not have happened at a worse time when famine is spreading across Kenya and prices of the staple maize crop has reached where it has never treaded before in the history of the nation.

Moral of this post: Had we made the decision to do the house cleaning way back in 2003, we would not be in the deep hole we find ourselves in today. Do not imagine for a minute that I am saying I would have done better than Mwai Kibaki did. Hell NO. What I am saying is that the executive job is one that comes with numerous terrible decisions that make you lose hair and age quicker than anything else can age you in this world. Those who are eager to be president really, really need to chew on that… and withdraw their silly pipe-dream ambitions. If you have been MP for 20 years and your constituents still have serious water problems, sir with all due respect this office is NOT for you. Go sort out the water problems first.

Understanding Kamlesh Patni’s Goldenberg Scandal

Mwau Supporters Flood Kumekucha With Angry Emails

Quite a number of people have been sending me angry emails over the last few days about how inaccurate my information on Harun Mwau and William Kabogo is. One nice lady even supported Mwau’s ridiculous theory about the Americans wanting to finish the innocent Kilome legislator and wondered why I “trust the Americans so much.”

I have answered most of these emails politely but deep inside me I have felt very offended that people would want to insult my intelligence even if they think it is limited. Where do these people think I came from? Do they think I fell from the sky and landed in Kenya one day and promptly started publishing articles about drug kingpins by cutting and pasting information from some newspaper? Do they honestly believe that the story about Obama and the Americans wanting to finish Mwau can really, really be taken seriously outside the Mathari mental hospital in Nairobi? I know that the feared Tana River crocodiles of Kenya can swallow just about anything but it is like these people are expecting it to swallow a Mugumo tree that has not even been uprooted if they think we can buy their cock and bull story.

There was a time not too long ago when I was running for dear life. And one of the serious enemies I had made were some individuals in the local drug business (apart from the main threat who was a fellow involved in extra-judicial killings now facing Ocampo at the Hague). At the time nobody had ever dared name the said drug lords before. I was the first and I paid for it (if you have never been on the run for your life you will not have an inkling of what I am talking about when I say I paid dearly). And during that time I was informed about several other people running for dear life courtesy of Harun Mwau. But that is a post for another day.

As you read this Mr Mwau is just about finished. The Americans have convinced the world beyond any reasonable doubts that the evidence they have on the Kilome legislator (and others) is rock solid. This has come at a time when the police have recommended that Mwau’s bodyguards be charged with giving false information to the police. Some Kenyans feel that the bodyguards should be interrogated to ascertain where they got their instructions from (to try and fool the police). Local sleuths have evidence to prove that the bullets were not fired where the bodyguards say they were (simply because they were no spent cartridges on the scene, stupid) and the police are also convinced that the bullet holes on the car are consistent with a situation where they were fired when the car was stationary and not when it was moving as the body guards told the police.

So now the big question is what was the motive of the stage managed shooting?

It was to prove that indeed Obama had sent some people to kill Mwau (I am laughing even as I type this) and that his life was indeed in great danger. The idea was to draw sympathy from the public so that Kenyans find it easier to believe that the legislator is innocent and just being targeted for reasons unknown. I guess this is the kind of scheme that would have worked like a charm in 1960 and the kind that somebody dreams up in this day and age when they have been overtaken by the times. You and I know that when the Americans want to execute somebody (every government has to protect it’s interests) they will tend do it in a very clinical fashion and they will certainly not send some gunmen who can’t shoot straight to Garden square restaurant to lazily have a few beers before shooting aimlessly at the speeding car of Mwau after the target has been dropped off and then probably go back inside Garden Square to finish their beers and discuss the failed assassination. Come on!!! Even an amateur assassin straight out of primary school in Kenya just learning his trade would never be so hilariously incompetent.

DPP Keraiko Tobiko has the very first test before him. Kenyans are watching him very closely. Will he decide to prosecute? And if he does who will he prosecute? The bodyguards only? Or will the case seek to find out where these hirelings got their orders from?

But what has really hit Harun Mwau hard and below the belt is the fact that he can no longer do business with the United States or for that matter anybody in the United States. But what’s more is that his colossal assets in that country have been frozen.

In his heart Mwau must be seething with rage at the hypocrisy of the Americans having done so many key errands for Uncle Sam in the region over the years (mainly deals that had to do with gun running). The reality is that this is the nature of business and politics the world over. It is not personal it is pure business and very normal for what a friend calls the toilet paper syndrome to kick in. That is somebody whom you were a valuable business partner just the other day dumps you after he is done with you. That’s reality, that’s how the real world works.

But for many Kenyans celebrations will be in order over Mwau’s predicament and for many it is for very personal reasons. All those young Kenyans who have irreversibly been destroyed by hard drugs were somebody’s son and somebody’s dear brother or sister. Kenyans will also be celebrating the terrible wounding of impunity. Personally I am not popping any Champaign just yet. Mainly because I know for a fact that a hungry lion is much easier to deal with than a wounded one. The latter is terribly dangerous.

P.S. The reason why Tobiko will not touch the person who gave Mwau’s bodyguards orders to stage manage a shooting is because the legislator has serious connections across the political landscape. He was one of the major financiers of ODM and Raila Odinga’s bid for the presidency. Indeed he was offered a full cabinet post by PM (but declined) even when he and everybody else in the political class knew exactly how Mwau makes his money. So the poor bodyguards may just take the rap for somebody’s bad ideas. That’s Kenya for you.

Hidden Profits: How to squeeze more profits from your business Part 2

By Jeff Kumekucha
I have received a lot of positive feedback from the first part of this article. It seems that I touched a raw nerve and many entrepreneurs at this moment are facing the problem of shrinking profits.

Today I conclude my article.

Actually it is easier to squeeze out more profits from a business than most people think. To illustrate this let us take a closer look at a typical restaurant business (a great favourite for many Kenyans).

The typical experience is that this waiter comes up to you and takes your order in a hurry. They are usually harassed and want to move on to the next client. From the moment they stand in front of you, you feel under preassure to give your order as quickly as possible so that you can release them to rush off to the next customer. It is like they are doing you a favour serving you. I know many restaurants that do this and still seem to be doing well. I can see the thinking behind hiring the minimum number of waiters. It is to cut down on costs.

Now come with me for a minute and let’s take a completely different path. The waiter approaches you with a smile as you peruse the menu and greets you warmly.

II have never seen you here before. Is this your first time to honour us with your visit?” he asks.

And then he goes on to suggest that you have a drink as you decide on what you are going to eat. You agree. When he gets back he offers his help by asking you a few questions like how hungry you are (so that he knows what portions to give). Are you on a diet? (so that he can recommend dishes more knowledgeably).

After you finish every course he suggests something else. Even after you have finished your meal and want to leave. The weather is extremely hot outside and you have had some chicken curry or something. The waiter intelligently suggests that you try their special ice-cream to cool off and make the hot weather more bearable before you leave.

This attention to detail and friendly talk is NOT wasting time. The end result is that each customer served ends up spending more than they had planned. Admittedly not every customer will take the recommendations given but say out of every 50 customers served in a day by a single waiter, at least 25 will end up spending 50% more than they had planned and maybe 5% will spend three times what they had originally intended to spend. Done properly you will find that hiring more well trained waiters will not only increase your costs but will increase profits many times over.

Translate the example I have just given into figures and you will begin to see that too many restaurants in this country never reach anywhere near their full potential for earnings.

Now the example I have given in a restaurant can be applied to any business. The person taking the order just needs to prepare themselves and think on their feet. For instance a customer at a stationary shop who buys a ream of photocopying paper may also be interested in toners for their laser printer or photocopier. Especially if you can offer it at a discount.

If you are selling something that people need to replace periodically you can estimate how long it takes them before they require new supplies. You can even ask them directly. By simply contacting them at the right time and making useful suggestions, you can win a lot of business that would have otherwise gone to your competitors.

Much more profits can be squeezed out of any business while giving your customers better service. And you do not have to raise prices which is what everybody rushes to do first.

Read about many more specific examples from the Kenyan market and beyond that will help you find hidden profits in your business that you never thought existed. It does not matter what kind of business you are in, whether it is a website or small stall in the market or a high tech computer company, these ideas will impact on your profits and bottom line. Get my regular Free Hidden Profits report NOW

Read Part 1 of this article

What Kenyans are saying: About our politicians

Politicians are directly propotinal 2 evil/demons.... Nah tax payin,increasing ua salary the way u want and now a 'raw murder' of a potential future Kenyan leader! Huh,i hate u wit a passion!

P.W.

Winnie Kaburia Hahahahahahahahaha it seems ur 2 mad with the politician dea.

Peter Waithaka Yes baby,i am! To b a politician is the last option i can dare be. Dnt tel me u lv dem wini. Huh!

Winnie Kaburia Yakk! They r the worste pple 2 av around.

Suez Kuchez Peter,Now, u can be one bt change ua wy of doin thngs- follw Justice! If we al sed dat, who wll brng change n clean up da mess already caused? Pour soul who got invlvd! Ma condolences 2th famly. This is too much now!!

Peter Waithaka ‎@winni-am thnkin of dat @EVE am tryna dia bt its tormenting me vibaya!!

Hidden Profits: How to squeeze more profits from your business

By Jeff Kumekucha

Times are pretty hard for entrepreneurs in the country and getting harder. With the drastic weakening of the Kenya shilling many have found that suddenly their profit margin has been eroded. But they can’t dare just increase prices because doing so will chase away your customers.

And yet if they do nothing they will end up making losses, in some cases huge losses.

So what to do?

The most viable option for you is to squeeze out more profits from your existing customers or from your existing business without increasing prices.

How do you do this exactly?

Let us deal with a specific example here so that the lesson sinks in deep.

A few years back Nation newspapers were faced with the same problem. Prices of fuel to transport their newspapers had risen dramatically at a time when the price of their imported newsprint had shot up because of the weakening of the Kenya shilling. A less creative business would have simply raised the prices of their newspapers and lost hoardes of customers in the process putting the business in a worse situation.

Instead what the company did was to find a very creative way to squeeze out more profits from their business. Now you need to understand that the Nation newspaper is the top seller in East and Cantral Africa because of their distribution system which takes the newspaper to every corner of the country and beyond. The big problem is that when the van that delivers newspapers to a certain place comes back, it returns empty and yet still costs the same it cost on the first trip. Now if only they could figure out a way to make the return trip profitable.

Nation courier services was created. The same can carrying the newspapers would now carry packages and letters and deliver them on the newspaper route. On the way back the same van would carry more packages and letters coming from the newspaper route and destined for the capital city where the newspapers head office is. Pure genius and it worked like magic.

Actually what happened in this case is that the company started a subsidiary business with zero capital. They simply used their existing infrastructure and vehicles for delivering newspapers daily to start a brand new business.

Can you apply the same trick to your business to squeeze out more profits from your existing infrastructure?

Here are a few examples to help you come up with that magical idea that will lift your business to the next level.

Read part 2 of this article.

Even before you read Part 2 you can read about many more specific examples from the Kenyan market and beyond that will help you find hidden profits in your business that you never thought existed. It does not matter what kind of business you are in, whether it is a website or small stall in the market or a high tech computer company, these ideas will impact on your profits and bottom line. Get my regular Free Hidden Profits report NOW.

Mwau’s Car Fired At… From Inside The Car Under Attack

There is such a thing as being overtaken by the times.

I saw this with my late dad towards the end of his well lived tenure on this earth. He was ordinarily a very intelligent man but at one point in his life time literally zoomed past him. The man who at one time was able to import the very latest Toyota Corolla way back in 1966 never managed to use an ATM. Neither could he send a short text message from a cell phone. You could never convince him that these days one can get a decent hotel without cockroaches and dirt on River Road (Kipepeo is a very popular clean magnificent budget hotel for tourists, bang in the middle of River Road) and indeed he would never dream of buying anything downtown beyond Moi Avenue. Interesting because in his early days in Nairobi (in the late 50s) Africans were not allowed beyond River Road and to the better part of town without a special pass. And so he first familiarized himself with the city starting from that dingy part of town.
Indeed this thing of being overtaken by the times started affecting his judgement in other more critical areas of his life. And worst of all we even stopped agreeing on many basic political issues. He loved Mwai Kibaki and in many ways helped me to understand the thinking of this man who more than any other president of the republic has brought the country to the brink of shutting down. My dad helped me see that Kibaki too is a man who has been overtaken by the times in many ways.

The really sad thing is when a person has been overtaken by the times and tries to do something that worked in the 70s but fails and is absolutely puzzled as to why the “clever” thing they have done has failed to work.

We saw retired President Moi in that position during the referendum campaign which ended up in silly decisions that led to the death of innocent Kenyans after an explosion went off at Uhuru park.

And we are seeing it now with John Harun Mwau.

Incidentally the man is about the same age as my dad (difference of about 6 years). Indeed my dad knew him well and warned me years ago (before I became a journalist) about the man’s corrupt ways and dirty deals.

It is now clear that here is a man who has been overtaken by the times. In his days in the police, the police force was very different and very easy to fool. Naturally because they did not have to deal with the kind of crimes they deal with today. And that is why they were able to see right through the stage managed shooting of his car. In fact the police have been bold enough to say that some of the gun shots seemed to have been fired from inside the car that was supossed to be under attack.

But even before the police gave the public information that hardly surprises most Kenyans people already knew that Mwau’s car actually being fired on by real thugs was as likely as Kenyans abandoning the staple dish of Ugali forever. It just can’t happen.

Of course these kinds of stage-managed games used to work very well in the 60s and 70s when Kenyans were generally not that clever and could swallow anything hook line and kitu kidogo. Not any more.

And that is why keen observers are quickly realizing that Mr Mwau is in very serious trouble. To cut a long story short, he has some problems which he needs to solve by convincing the public that his life is in danger from people who want his vast wealth.

Top on that list (according to Mwau) is President Obama of the United States. Which means that his list of suspects who were behind the “attempt on his life” must include President Obama. HILARIOUS, especially when you consider the fact that the so-called killers were so sloppy as to fire most of the bullets through the driver’s door when it is obvious that Mwau sits on the back left of his cars. But admittedly they are probably so advanced that they were able to fire some of the shots from inside the car. This is great stuff for the well-loved comedian Mr Bean is it not?

So who would want to kill Mwau? Seriously...

The movie you must absolutely watch before you die

BREAKING NEWS: Policeman investigation Mwau shooting suddenly dies

Corporal Gerald Waskie who was a detective investigating the gun attack on Kilome MP Harun Mwau’s shot-at-vehicle collapsed and died a few hours ago.

Wasike was attached to the Scenes of Crime department at the Criminal Investigations Department (CID).

Even more puzzling was the way he died. His colleagues say that he just suddenly started bleeding from the nose and mouth before collapsing. He was rushed to the Nairobi Outpatient Clinic but was pronounced dead on arrival. It has been established that the officer was examining Mr Mwau’s Range Rover at the time of the mysterious incident at the Central Police Station in Nairobi.

He was together with his two colleagues and had been assigned the duty of carrying out further and more detailed examination on Mr Mwau’s bullet-ridden Range Rover car.

Kumekucha Movie Review (classics): Forrest Gump

In this life sincerity is much more important than intelligence. That is one of the main messages that this Kumekucha blog has been at pains to deliver since that fateful day in May 2005 when I wrote that first post. This movie has to be one of the things that has made me such a greater believer of this truism about life.

And that is why if you still do not quite agree, this movie may just help change your mind.

People watch movies for different reasons. I watch movies to be entertained but I also do it to learn about life as much as possible.
Forrest Gump is an unforgettable movie that teaches about success in life. Every time I watch this movie I cry. Am not sure why… exactly. Maybe you can do me a favour and watch it and figure that out for me. But one thing I am not vague about here is the lesson which comes through vividly and poignantly in almost every scene of this beautifully made film.

Forrest Gump is a 1994 American comedy-drama film based on the 1986 novel of the same name by Winston Groom. The story portrays several decades in the life of Forrest Gump, an Alabama simpleton. This is confirmed at an early age by his school principal who determines young Forrest possesses an IQ of 75. One would think that this would virtually be a death sentence in the complex world we live in today that requires us to increasingly think on our feet. And so it is surprising how well Gump ends up doing in life. His endearing character and his devotion to his loved ones and duties brings him into many life-changing situations.

If you have not watched Forrest Gump, watch it before you die.


Performance at the box office:
Produced on a budget of $55 million, Forrest Gump earned $24,450,602 on it’s first weekend narrowly beating The Lion King which was on it’s fourth week of release. For the first ten weeks of its release, the film held the number one position at the box office and ended up running for 42 weeks earning $329.7 million in the United States and Canada. As of June 2011, the film is ranked as the 21st highest grossing US film and 45th worldwide.

An extensive soundtrack was featured in the film, and its commercial release made it one of the top selling albums of all time. It sold 4.42 million copies.

Read previous movie review: The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Will Maize Prices Come Crashing Down Like A Sack of Potatoes?

Kenyan potato farmers lose millions after bumper harvest prompts price crash. Will maize follow?

My late dad must be turning in his grave with delighted surprise at the heights the price of maize has climbed to and feeling more than a little sad that what he had predicted and waited for, for so many years finally came to pass barely months after his final exit from this world (or as a friend so eloquently likes putting it—just months after hard drive crashed beyond restoration).
Yep, my dad was a serious maize farmer in his twilight years and loved every minute of it. But for years he struggled with the problem of maize politics which hungrily swallowed up his huge capital investment in his shambas and prevented him from enjoying the rewards of a good profit that surely every farmer deserves. I mean farming is extremely hard, and potentially back-breaking work.

Over the years every time it looked like prices of maize were snaking upwards the government would import plenty of iot and the prices would durifully come tumbling down.

It is because I can identify with the farmer on this one that I get sick of reading regular reports in the media calling for the prices of this basic commodity to drop down “back to sane levels.” So if I may ask what are the sane levels? Levels at which a farmer can hardly recoup his investment from planting the crop? And as I am sure most of my readers do not know, maize is even harder work than most other crops because after you have harvested you still have to get the grain out of the cob and then dry and preserve.

Admittedly Kenyans consume too much maize for the crop not to be political. And that is why the government has always been very nervous whenever prices of this basic commodity have threatened to head north. And yet in the same breadth the GOK (Government of Kenya) still wants to praise the long suffering local farmer for their resilience. Now it seems that patience has run out in farmers and the result is that many have opted to plant other more profitable crops. This is part of the contributing factor to the rapid climb of maize prices in recent times.

But let us not dwell too much on the past because the main concern for most, even as I sense your alarm after reading my last paragraph, is what the future holds for maize prices.

Just a few hours ago one of my informants in Western Kenya informed me that there is currently plenty of maize in Busia and it is selling at the throw-away price of Kshs 3/- per single maize cob. Sadly logistics do not make it viable for that maize to come to the rescue of millers on the verge of closing shop due to lack of maize supplies in places like Eldoret. Or in Kisumu where a bag of dry maize is now approaching the Kshs 5,000 mark. Don’t even mention distant Nairobi where there is the highest consumption of this commodity and all it’s byproducts but which is way too far from Busia. Busia is on the border with neighbouring Uganda.

The truth is that there is really no good news for the consumer. All the good news is for the long suffering maize farmer. There are many clues to suggest that the price is not coming down any time soon. The crash that has been witnessed with potato prices will definitely not be replicated with maize. One of the clear signals that prices are not coming down any time soon is the fact that the maize being imported to alleviate the big shortage in the country is said to have a Mombasa landing price of about kshs 3,700 per 90 kg bag.

The next harvest is expected in August and so September will be the month to study prices carefully in order to establish what the future may hold.

And so I repeat my advice to all you dear readers out there to venture out of the concrete jungle that is Nairobi and go into farming rather than keep hoping that the prices of Unga (produced from maize) will drop soon. I don’t see it happening.

Top ten maize producers in the world in 2009

Country Production (tonnes)

United States 333,010,910
China 163,118,097
Brazil 51,232,447
Mexico 20,202,600
Indonesia 17,629,740
India 17,300,000
France 15,299,900
Argentina 13,121,380
South Africa 12,050,000
Ukraine 10,486,300

Safaricom’s hidden source of HUGE profits that business journalists missed

Kumekucha Movie Review

7 unexpected things that attract Kenyan men to their women

What is the secret that Moi can kill for?

Kumekucha Movie Review: The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Do demons exist? Can they be cast out of a person? Your answers to those two questions will have an impact on what you will feel at the end of this movie because if you are not sure you are going to be pretty frightened and apprehensive and maybe you won’t sleep too well again. Especially when it strikes 3 am (it is believed that this is the hour of maximum demonic activity in the spiritual realm).
I have some pretty extensive experience in this area (that is a story for another day) and I can tell you without fear or shame that the answer to both questions is the affirmative. I need to add that the depiction I saw here is very convincing. To be totally honest I am yet to see something as convincing as this and believe me, I have watched many movies since my days as a movie critic in the local press.

This is a true story based on the extra-ordinary experiences of one Anneliese Michel, a religiously nurtured young girl whose life suddenly changes on a day in 1968 when she begins shaking and finds that she is unable to control her own body. A neurologist diagnoses her with "Grand Mal" epilepsy. But clearly this is not a medical problem because soon after the attacks begin, Anneliese starts seeing devilish grimaces during her daily praying.

The film is based on the story of Anneliese and follows a self-proclaimed agnostic defense lawyer representing a parish priest who is accused by the state of negligent homicide after he attempted an exorcism on Anneliese.

Sleek directing and compelling performances carry this movie very well and I will have no hesitation in recommending it.

However the problem I have is that it leaves one very important question unanswered. Demonic attack is never without reason and the first thing in any successful exorcism is finding the reason which will quickly lead you to the point of entry which needs to be sealed to avoid the subject sliding back. This is what seems to have never been resolved or even investigated in the real life story of Emily Rose.

Watch the trailer HERE

Box Office performance and other bits of info about the movie:

- Towards the end of 2008, The Exorcism of Emily Rose had grossed $140,238,064 worldwide.

- In 2006, the Chicago Film Critics Association listed the film in their Top 100 Scariest Films Ever Made at number 86.

- Lead actress Jennifer Carpenter, whose "demonic" bodily contortions were mostly achieved without the aid of visual effects, won "Best Frightened Performance" at the MTV Movie Awards in 2006.Safaricom’s hidden source of HUGE profits that business journalists missed

7 unexpected things that attract Kenyan men to their women

What is the secret that Moi can kill for?

Breaking News: Anticorruption activists kick out Prof. Ongeri and take over Minister's office for an overnight vigil till a new Minister is announced. If you can join them please make your way to Jogoo House 2nd floor room 204. Please take with you some bread and water.

Kilonzo: We will deal with Tobiko Soon

Justice Minister Mutula Kilonzo has cut out a niche for himself as one of the leading reformists in the country. For those who know the dark past of Mr Kilonzo that is quite something (more on his past later in this post).

And so true to recent form, Mutula revealed last night that he has a few legal ideas on how he is going to deal with the “Tobiko problem” created by parliament when they chose to disregard recommendations and approve Tobiko’s appointment without investigating the claims of corruption and unfitting conduct from his past made against him by the public.

Justice Minister Mutula "Reforms" Kilonzo: Promised to deal with Tobiko

Now that is one motion of intent which must be going down very well with a vast majority of Kenyans many of whom could not hide their displeasure when Tobiko was sworn in alongside the more popularly approved appointments of the chief justice and his deputy a few hours ago. One onlooker commented in the hearing of this blogger that if Tobiko was as upright as his defenders claimed he was, he would have refused to take up his appointment and steeped aside. “I am sure Willy Mutunga and Nancy Baraza would have done exactly that (i.e. step aside) were they in Tobiko’s shoes.”

I have been thinking hard about what that ordinary Kenyan said and the more I think about it the more sense what they said makes. Accepting to be sworn into office and smiling several times for the cameras (as if to mock those against his appointment) is the face of impunity itself and a clear indication of the kind of character we are dealing with here in our new DPP tupende tusipende.

In fact it is interesting how such a seemingly intelligent man cannot see the serious harm he is doing to himself by taking up office with such baggage hanging around his neck. How will he serve the very public that he seemed to be mocking at the swearing in ceremony?

Anyway back to our very reform-minded minister of Justice. Mutula made the revelations about his intentions towards Tobiko on national TV in the Julie Gichuru hosted Sunday live news on Citizen TV. However he quickly added that he will pursue his legal ideas at an unspecified future date because his immediate priority is to speed up the implementation of the new constitution. More music in the ears of ordinary long suffering Kenyans.

But Mutula Kilonzo has not always been at the fore-front of reforms. In an earlier life he was known as former President Daniel arap Moi’s lawyer and close confidant. The lawyer used this position to greatly enrich himself literally overnight.

Every story has two sides. This is Mutula Kilonzo’s version of his past life. But luckily you can also get the no holds barred investigated report that includes his dark secrets and especially what MPs were talking about when shouting down Mutula in parliament last week during the Tobiko debate.

The Mutula Kilonzo you don't know

Safaricom’s hidden source of HUGE profits that business journalists missed

Hidden Profits: Safaricom’s hidden source of HUGE profits that business journalists missed

Safaricom’s hidden source of HUGE profits that business journalists missed

By Special Kumekucha make money correspondent

Note from Kumekucha Chris: It gives me great pleasure to introduce this brand new weekly column by a man who makes a living helping businesses find hidden profits. ENJOY!!

As I write this (20th June 2011) all signs are that we are headed for a serious recession in these shores, indeed yours truly agrees with Kumekucha Chris that it is going to be so serious that it will easily be unprecedented in terms of its effects on the country called Kenya. This makes the following question rather appropriate just now.

What really makes the difference between a really profitable business and one that never comes anywhere near its’ full potential? I will give you a clue; it is something that both Kenya’s Safaricom and the internationally acclaimed Google have in common.

It is simply this; both these enterprises are not frightened of trying out new things all the time. In my time I have met many entrepreneurs who are terrified of risk—any risk. Admittedly if you are reckless enough to keep on trying new things on your already profitable business you are bound to fail many times and naturally this is very embarrassing. Indeed if you carefully examine both Safaricom and Google, you will discover that both businesses have had very spectacular failures in their continued “reckless” efforts to always try out new things.

Remember Safaricom’s Simu ya Jamii? This was the scheme where people were supposed to make money running telephone kiosks. Some remember this much more painfully than others in that they invested cash into it and lost it. Former Safaricom CEO Michael Joseph himself acknowledged in an interview with The Star that the scheme was one of the company’s biggest failures.

But out of 100 reckless failures comes one spectacular success that cancels the failures and gives you untold wealth and profits. Oh yes, it happens all the time.

I am sure you’ve heard of a company called Google haven’t you? Google is a $US100billion company that was started from nothing barely 11 years ago. Here is what the founders Sergey Brin (37) and Larry Page (38) had to say in September 2003 in a talk they gave to hundreds of Israeli students at a high school in Israel.

“Have a healthy disregard for the impossible… You should try to do things that most people would not.” –Larry Page.

“The only way you are going to have success is to have lots of failures first.”
-Sergey Brin

Google is not a $US 100 billion company for nothing and they have done a lot of interesting “reckless” things. But today I will focus closer to home and on Safaricom. Safaricom is a Kshs 200 billion company that is easily the most profitable enterprise in the history of East and Central Africa. The company also has some very humble beginnings.

Many of the reckless things the company has done (many others remain a secret) have failed but amongst the few reckless things that worked are the Mpesa money transfer service and the Okoa Jahazi scheme where subscribers can borrow airtime.

Think about it for a minute and be very honest. What would you have thought if somebody came up to you and suggested that you dish out cash loans to all and sundry. In fact small amounts of cash (Kshs 50/-) meaning that you have no way of recovering it incase they default. I mean I can always borrow airtime and then change my sim card and get a new line the next day. Of course the fact that they found a way to make it work is because somebody entertained the ridiculously reckless idea and gave it some deep thought. Get my drift?

The wild okoa jahazi idea has not only earned Safaricom billions in extra profits since it was launched in 2009 but it has also greatly shielded the company from fierce emerging competition and price wars that would easily have wiped out a “less reckless” company.

Let’s look at some numbers so that we put this Okoa Jahazi thing into proper perspective. We are told that the day the service was launched on 15th April 2009, it got 1.7 million users. Multiply that by Kshs 50 and you get Kshs 75 million. The 10% charged for the service gave the company Kshs 7.5 million on a single day. Hidden profits that came from nowhere. And remember that the company did not have to put any money down. It just offered its’ services on credit (and at that time the service only served online calls and did not work with calls outside the Safaricom network). Another blogger estimated at the time of launch that this service was going to give Safaricom a minimum of Kshs 1.83 billion a year. Some reckless profits from some recklessness don’t you think?

Interestingly nobody has analyzed the contribution Okoa jahazi made to Safaricom’s current profits? Our business journalists all missed it in their detailed analysis of the company’s profits.

Now that is what I call hidden profits.

This week’s lesson: The thing you should fear most is the fear of failure that paralyzes you. You should be terrified of it. Absolutely terrified.