7 Unexpected Things That Attract Kenyan Men to a Woman

The problem with most people is that we tend to assume many things. For instance we assume that men get attracted to women by beauty and a great body. Even when we still go to weddings regularly where the bride has neither in abundance our mind is stuck like an old record on what we believe has always attracted Kenyan men to women. A little research by Kumekucha recently unearthed some interesting stuff that will shock most. Here are 7 unexpected things that attract Kenyan men to their ladies.

1. Your career
You may have the looks and a model's figure but if you are a mere clerk at some government office you may find that you stand no chance if the competition is a professional. One man I interviewed dates only lawyers. Granted they are in the legal profession themselves but there are numerous other examples we came across of Kenyan men falling head over heels with the career of the women in their lives. Indeed we are seeing a higher number of Kenyan couples where the woman earns three or four times what her husband earns. Or where a man who is not a professional gets drawn to a woman who is. Although we still have many men who feel threatened and intimidated by career women the statistics on the ground indicate that this is changing very fast.

2. Swearing women
Most people believe that if you are loud and you swear frequently chances of attracting a serious guy are nil. Maybe that was true in the 1960s but certainly not today. Some men like women who stand out and the louder they are the more of a turn on they seem to be.

3. Women who love soccer
Most observant Kenyans must have guessed this one already. Amazingly it was just the other day when the ladies in the room would hurriedly head straight for the kitchen when the TV was switched to some big soccer game. Not any more. In fact one couple this blogger came across in the research for this article are in a situation where the man heads to the bedroom with his laptop and leaves his wife watching Arsenal (her favourite side) in action along with her teenage son. Some smart Kenyan ladies have read the signs of the times and quickly realized that the perfect place to meet the man of your dreams is at a bar watching the Premier League. Many Kenyan men are very attracted to chics who love soccer.

4. You'd better give it to me now!!
The message that clearly came through during this little research I did was that women who remain reserved and lady like will remain alone and ignored. Men believe that there are too many similar women trying to attract their attention and it seems that they are looking for something different. I have a close friend who has this girl friend who regularly demands for sex via sms. I have seen the sms messages and some of them are pretty explicit. But what’s most interesting is that my friend is clearly jazzed big time by this boldness.

5. Your ugly thighs
Beauty truly lies in the eyes of the beholder. While men have always been attracted by great legs and especially the thighs in a woman the assumption has always been that quality is important. Surprisingly this is NOT true. Virtually any legs that are exposed will pique the interest of most Kenyan men. So if you don’t have the looks nor a model’s legs don’t despair. All you need to do is have the guts to expose enough flesh. Walk around Nairobi streets and you will quickly realize that this point is very old news to many Nairobi ladies.

6. Politicians
Politics bores most women. But the truth is that women who are actively involved in politics attract men like a magnet. You don’t even need to be an MP. Just ask the increasingly large number of women activists we have in this country and they will tell you they have a big problem other sisters don’t have. Being bothered by men.

7. Smoking women
This one is a mystery. Although few people will take home a chimney of a fiancée the reality on the ground is that the aroma of cigarette smoke with all it’s cancer related perils is irresistible to most Kenyan men. Just walk into any popular entertainment spot and observe how popular the smokers are compared to the non-smokers.

DISCLAIMER: Kumekucha is not advising well mannered Kenyan women to start adopting bad manners just to get hitched. This is simply a report on the reality on the ground. My advice is that it is best to be yourself, whatever the outcome whatever the consequences.

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Because of the Evil Monster Called 2012…

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...Prepare to exchange the US Dollar At Kshs 100

I know this girl who loves to watch horror movies. The more horrifying the better. Some of the stuff she watches is capable of giving me nightmares but to her it is all entertainment. Geez!! Fascinatingly the contradiction is that she cannot leave the room alone just to go to the next room.
Now there is a really terrifying monster emerging on the Kenyan political scene who is already causing nightmares and untold terror. The bad news is that the worst is yet to come. That monster is called 2012.

Horror scene number One…
Is set to unfold this afternoon in parliament when the august house will vote unanimously for one Keriako Tobiko to be the first DPP under the new constitution. A man who has a big huge question mark over his life starting with a land deal that has forgery and impunity written all over it. A man who has been instrumental in making Goldenberg and Anglo Leasing go away.

Yesterday I could not believe my ears and my eyes when one Charity Ngilu filled the TV screen to tell Kenyans that “the best choice” in the entire republic for this job was Tobiko. If it was possible to rewind TV news I know there are many many Kenyans who would have rewinded that particular clip to be sure of what they were hearing.

But then we have discussed this issue here in Kumekucha at length over the last few days. We know that ODM and one Raila Odinga need the Maasai and Samburu vote very badly as 2012 looms large in the background. Raila must be president come 2012 so who cares if Tobiko is corrupt? Who gives a sh** if the man’s middle name is “injustice and impunity”? Raila MUST BE PRESIDENT!!! Everything else comes second. Yep including the rights of downtrodden Kenyans who have lived under a justice system that has crashed them and their rights under it’s foot. A selective justice system that asks’ “who are you in society” before it can prosecute.

Watch this horror movie at a TV screen near you starting from around 2:30PM (Kenyan time) this afternoon.

Horror scene number two…
The 2012 elections will need unprecedented amounts of cash for those who own Kenya to push through their agenda. And yet it is becoming increasingly difficult to raise cash in the old days with a very hawk-eyed public. Make no mistake, stealing is still going on even as the small fish make appearances in court. The godfathers just pick new pawns and continue to steal. But I am talking about huge amounts of cash. The kind of money that turns the tide in an election.

Keep that thought at the back of your mind for a minute as we examine the strange behaviour of the Kenya shilling.

Experts know that the shilling has been faced with a much worse scenario than the current situation. Remember the January 2008 crisis and post election violence. That is precisely the time that we should have seen a free fall of the shilling. But strangely enough the local currency held strong amid the chaos. I mean those chaos were so serious that we were just days away from a complete shut down of the republic of Kenya.

Now a few traders prepare to import some maize and the shilling sinks to it’s lowest levels in history. A Kshs 90/- dollar is just round the corner and analysts are advising their clients to prepare for a Kshs 100/- dollar and the full consequences. I have talked to various respectable analysts and all them have rubbished the reasons we are seeing in the newspapers for this. They tell me that the government of Kenya seems to be secretly pursuing a policy of devaluation. But why? And this is the worst time to do this because of the untold suffering to ordinary Kenyans that is bound to result. The answer is simple. Some deals need to be made and some cash raised. Who gives a sh** about ordinary Kenyans? Of course it is important for the political class to make the right noises and talk about the suffering of ordinary Kenyans. But talk is pretty cheap. The priority now is that cash MUST be raised for 2012.

Watch this horror movie unfold in Kenya over the next few weeks and months. The woman called Kenya should just prepare to be raped by those who are supossed to protect her from the heinous assault... and I am NOT joking.

P.S. What will happen is that the shilling will be in a free fall until the 2012 deal is complete. Then it will quickly and mysteriously recover. Prepare for the comedy of errors soon after as experts will give us all kinds of explanations as to why the shilling recovered so suddenly and so quickly.

Update: Parliament predictably approved all 3 appointments amending the motion to bypass the recomendation by the parliamentary commitee to investigate further the issues raised against Keriako Tobiko. I agree with what a few members said on the floor to the effect that ignoring the recomendations to investigate Tobiko will not help him but rather bring him to office with a lot of buggage weighing him down. Time will tell.

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The dirt on Tobiko and why parliament must reject his nomination