KACC Effect: Can Sheriff Lumumba Make Heads Roll?

UPDATE: Kenyans have yet another reason to show their post molars in jubilation this week as embattled Truth Justice and Reconciliation chair Ambassador Bethwel Kiplagat resigned(read stepped aside) today ostensibly to avoid embarrassing his appointing authority as investigations of accusations levelled at him begin

Tanzania Election Update:read Kumekucha's latest update on the Tanzanian elections in the comments section of this post or click here

Once laughed off as a bunch of buffons on this very blog, the KACC advisory board must be rubbing their hands in glee at mother nature’s gift to them: a second chance to redeem their reputation through the appointment of a new graft boss in the shape of PLO Lumumba. This comes after the disastrous tenure of the office’s previous holder. Kenyans already know there is a new sheriff in town recently appointed head of the Kenyan dragon slaying unit(Kenya Anti Corruption Commission)

new graft watchdog fighter Professor PLO Lumumba

The similarities between Sherriff Lumumba and his predecesor rtd. Justice Aaron Ringera are numerous: both were well known Nairobi law practitioners, and both were well known public speakers notably quoting the works of famous dead men such as Shakespeare and other well known works of historical literature. However it seems that is where Sherriff Lumumba wants the similarities to end because he is determined to make it clear from the onset that his tenure will clearly be a different ball game from that of his predecessor(see video below)

The face of emerging Kenya under the new constitution
Ever since reporting for duty PLO and his newly appointed graft watchdog team have slowly been attempting to match the strength of their punches with their constitutionally mandated institutional weight as a public institution. So far it is commendable that the sherrif and his army of dragon slayers have been reeling in catch after latest catch. However majority of Kenyans remain unimpressed and have so far refused to be taken in by the Oxford dictionary English speaking Nairobi lawyer. Kenyans argue that the sheriff is simply re-inventing the wheel in giving the impression of catching government of national unity grand fraudsters. We are weary as we have seen it all before and will settle for nothing less than Heads rolling

WanaNICHI want him to do more than just raise the temperature under the collars of know crooks and wanted criminals. They want Sheriff Lumumba to make major inroads in the war against the vice. The graft boss and his team must have been the most headhunted private sector professionals. Now that they have crossed over and been appointed to public positions Kenyans need to believe that at the end of the day the new leadership o f KACC will not turn out to be a very big disappointment.

Good preaching
Corruption is deep rooted in our system but this new constitution carries all the political will to root it out. This cancer can cease to be a way of life in this country and Sherriff Lumumba may just be the non-ceremonial figurehead outside the executive arm of the Government to fight it without fear or favour

Without a shadow of a doubt the newly appointed KACC director may find that his life will be threatened several times in the months and years ahead in the course of patriotic duty but he must take heart because Kenyans are beginning to note his efforts with appreciation. Not many Kenyans can handle the heat of the seat upon which the mention of your name immediately invokes both admiration from a grateful public while striking fear among the looters and the corrupt. The Sherriff and his team must adequately be described as both loud barkers and biter in equal proportions

Kenyans are ready to give the benefit of the doubt this time if the Sheriff can prove equal to the task of fighting corruption with the full weight of the country behind him. God bless KACC and God bless Kenya

Of a dead body in the bus and hypocritical Kenyans

Humans are by nature pretty hypocritical but what really pisses me off is how Kenyans prefer to go to great lengths to help and please a dead person they ignored when they were alive.

When they are alive you cannot spare the 20 bob they so desperately beg for, claiming that you don’t have it. But if they fall dead that very day, you will spend Kshs 200 on flowers for his grave without thinking about it and make time to go to his funeral. Why? Where would your money and time have been more useful? I would rather do everything I can for somebody when they are still alive and even skip their funeral altogether. That will be much more appreciated.
Now that I have gotten that off my chest let me get on with my story today which is about a dead Kenyan body.

There are some communities in our beloved country (which shall remain nameless) that would never hear of burying a tribes mate in the city. No matter how poor his friends are they will do everything in their power to transport the body “back home”. Does it really matter where a body is buried once somebody is dead? You might as well throw it in the forest or dispose of it in the most environment-friendly manner. But alas, just one more of those hypocritical things we do as humans, deep respect for dead bodies and all. Huge expense for the gold casket, big budget for a funeral and for what?

And so this chap from that nameless tribe stayed in the mortuary for many weeks as those responsible ran all over the place looking for funds to transport the body. They tried everything to get their hands on enough cash. They failed and so they racked their brains trying to get a solution to ensure that marehemu reached home all the way from Nairobi where they had passed on.

The measly funds collected were barely enough to cover the mortuary expenses and what remained was used to hire the services of an expert on dead bodies who used the right kind of chemicals, perfumes on the body so that it could be transported in a bus amongst the living without anybody realizing what was going on. The dead man was helped into the late bus bound for the Western parts of the country by three friends who told the driver that he was very sick. Only one friend traveled with the “sick man” and the other two alighted. Of course the dead man wore a hat and virtually had every part of their body well covered.

It looked like an ingenious yet bizarre method of transporting a dead body and indeed everything went according to plan until the bus reached somewhere close to Naivasha. The man “escorting” the body must have been very exhausted (or maybe the fumes from the chemicals used on the body made him pass out) and had fallen asleep and so as the bus applied emergency brakes the dead body jumped up all over the place and ended up on the floor of the bus. The ice cold dead body must have touched somebody because the scream which followed caused the lights in the bus to be switched on and behold, everybody saw that it was a dead body. A dead body traveling with the living.

The bus was driven to the nearest police station where the body and its’ escort disembarked and the bus with the source of this story continued on their journey. And so they never found out what happened after that. Those were the days when daily newspapers were run by conservative editors who had little time or interest to follow up on such a story when there was allegedly more juicy stuff on the political front like some illiterate politician who was fond of handing over envelopes with cash to the press saying that one did not need to go to school to rule Kenyans. There was only one TV station then, KBC and you would be sure that such a story would never be “approved” for airing. This thing happened sometime in the 90s.

Kenya police forget what happens to dead body that clearly shows evidence of what they did

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