Hague Express and the Tale of Two Envelopes

Annan has called Kenya bluff. The Hague engine is revving and pretenders are torn between the façade of plastic sovereignty and refusing the local tribunal. Well, you can never bake your cake and gobble it, or can you?

Kofi Annan must have witnessed firsthand original vices made and practiced in Kenya while staying in Nairobi for months last year, He saw through the gimmicks of the Mutula-led delegation to Geneva. He has proved to the scoundrels that you cannot fool all the people all the time by taking them round in circles with empty promises. In essence Annan has hit back hard where it hurt most. Just look at the panic button permanently pressed all over. Political temperatures can only go one direction, up.

The heat is on and there may be no place to hide anymore. Even those who have been entertaining the fallacy of Hague’s long process are stung. They may not show it but the dread and anxiety is written all over their faces. Ocampo’s prompt opening of the envelope handed to him by Annan amounts to another squeeze at the noose tightening around the neck of Hague suspects.

Before 2007, Kenya was a model African democracy until that democracy was heinously bastardized. Nobody ever thought the might Kanu would be politically vanquished at the 2002 polls. That came to pass and the evil Moi rose above all selfishness to hand over power. Make no mistake Moi had all the state apparatus to do as he wished. Even the polarized 2005 referendum came to pass. But not when the political stakes peaked in 2007.

Judge Kriegler may have been diplomatic in his no winner verdict. But the old man knew better than douse an inferno with fuel. Making inference from first principles leaves you asking if there was no winner then why one was sworn in at midnight.

But that is the wrong question. Basic deduction belittles the enormity of the task and apocalypse President Kibaki saved Kenya. Power abhors vacuum and Kibaki had to DUTIFULLY and DUELY fill the void lest Kenyans stewed themselves in their own blood. It therefore defeats logic to examine the genesis of PEV if we are to address its casualties.

Wrong question
Hiding behind empty sovereignty slogans are foxes waiting to pounce on their next prey. True to their colours, they will never a Special Tribunal Bill that demands those implicated to immediately step aside. That is not the way we do things in Kenya. Taking any form of personally responsible for your actions in an alien philosophy here.

The Special Tribunal Bill shamelessly permutes impunity by giving the president the freehand to abuse the powers of clemency. Surely Kenya has its owners and the voters must be ready to either pay rent or relocate elsewhere.

But not just yet. The Ocampo elephant is squarely chocking the room and no political bets are is binding now. And who knows Moreno Ocampo maybe that silver bullet to comprehensively sanitize and then deodorize Kenyan politics.

Game on. It is only us who can free ourselves from this bondage. YES WE CAN and MUST.

Can Change Really Come To Kenya Without You?

As I write this, President Obama of the United States has just finished his tour of Ghana. Before he left that Cocoa country, he said a few things about Kenya that our leaders are not taking lying down. Foreign Minister Moses Wetangula has suggested Obama’s comments were ill-informed.

On this Sunday morning in Kenya I find that very funny. And you will too after I reveal a few things about the matatu-riding president of the United States.

As usual our politicians are quick to defend themselves even as the rot all around them stinks to the high heavens. They also conveniently have very short memories.

It is a fact that President Obama and knows more about Kenya than all the past Presidents of the United States put together ever understood about Africa.

On Obama’s first trip back to the home of his ancestors in the 90s, the guy slept on the sofa in some seedy Nairobi neighborhood and rode matatus all over the place. And remember those were the pre-Michuki-rules days when breathing inside a crowded matatu was not for the faint-hearted. Indeed Obama knows more about the life of an ordinary Kenyan than Moses Wetangula or any other cabinet minister will ever understand in the next 100 years. When was the last time Kibaki, Raila or Wetangula rode in a crowded Matatu? Or slept on the sofa?

If there was any ray of hope for change in Kenya to be found with our current crop of leaders then their response to President Obama’s remarks would have been much more intelligent and less arrogant. But alas, if you are like me then you know we can never have change until we remove the current crop of jokers calling themselves our leaders. And they need to be removed by any means possible.

It should be crystal clear by now that for anything good to happen in our motherland all the current crop of leaders MUST go home. Kenyans need to gain courage and come out and insist (at great risk to their own lives) that these people go home. Tom Mboya then a young man barely out of teens did exactly that in the 1950s and it is instructive that President Obama would never have existed had Mboya not made that bold decision to help rid Kenya of colonialists.

This time it is going to be a lot harder than it was back then and so as many Kenyans as possible need to come out and say NO. In fact I have made a personal decision to make my real identity public very soon and to come out and start campaigning for change in Kenya from the trenches. I will make an announcement soon. I am of course well aware that with the kind of information I have published here in the past about some very dangerous Kenyans, I will be at great risk doing something “stupid like that.” But my reasoning is that Kenyans are already dead with the kind of life we have in our country now. “The living dead” would be what some folks would call us. Besides there is a saying that it is much better to live 100 days as a lion than 100 years as a chicken.

The time has come and the time is now for you my brothers and sisters to put your own selfish interests and comforts aside and arise to fight so that we get our country back before it is too late. Enough has been done on the web, now we need to hit the ground running and walk our talk here.

Obama did it and so can we. For our newer readers let me point out that Kumekucha was the first blog in the world to predict an Obama presidency and you can guess what the reaction to that “ridiculous” suggestion was. My own dad bluntly told me I was dreaming and should wake up.

Well, I am now dreaming once again. Of a young Kenyan president. Selfless, tribeless and ready to put their lives on the line for mother Kenya. Where are thou?


P.S. It is one thing to speak ignorantly about something you don’t quite know or understand (because later you can deny you ever said anything of the sort) but it is quite another to put it in writing for posterity. My brother Phil’s recent post on Tom Mboya was hilarious. Apparently A Francis Atwoli-like character played a major part in bringing independence to Kenya. I am still digging deep into my history books looking for this Atwoli twin from the 1950s.