In Case We Go To The Hague

Winners:

Kenyan Tax Payers: In these tough economic times, we should be happy that our tax shillings will not be used in the formation of a kangaroo court.

Kamiti Residents: The way I see it, all prisoners in Kenya must ask their respective wardens to open the prison gates and set them free. After all, the judicial system that locked them up has lost all confidence. The journey to The Hague vindicates all of those who’ve been in front of a Kenyan judge.

Raila Odinga: In about two weeks, we shall start hearing some fantastic stories about how Raila really and truly never wanted a local tribunal…even though he voted for it. Come campaign time, the people’s president will take credit for sending chaps to The Hague. His vote as recorded in the gazette will be seen as a tactful political chess move to hoodwink some people who we really don’t know yet.

Mwai Kibaki: Now that this thing is pretty much over, my friend can go back to State House and rest. The trips to Parliament Buildings were not only cumbersome but also very tiring. Rather than listen to hecklers saying ‘no’ to his face, he would rather sit in his backyard listening to birds chirp and feeding bananas to the monkeys of Arboretum.

Ruto and Uhuru: Wacheni kupapatika wasee. Fifteen years is a long time to prepare a defense…. and even if they lost the case, current ICC prisoners eat eggs and sausages for breakfast. As we speak, there are some Rwandese prisoners in Tanzania playing badminton in the lush ICC prison yard. Life as an ICC prisoner is not too shabby.

Phillip Waki: For the first time in Kenya’s history, a commission’s report may mean justice. Praise be to Waki…even though his list left out a huge number of suspicious tax payer fattened MPs.

IDPs: It’s going to take a while but justice will come…someday. Just the sight of Kenyan suspects shivering behind the bullet proof glass should provide some solace.

Kalonzo Musyoka: He’s probably the only person in Kenya who can claim he did not cast a stone…so if he goes to The Hague, it will be as a witness or a tourist. That alone should allow him some kind of relevance in future.

Major Ali: Much as he’s willing to divulge all the details of the much publicized police killings, the man simply does not have a case to answer.

Lords of Impunity, Return of the Arturs

Like father like son so they say. Al Saadi Gaddafi came to Kenya and secure in the knowledge that we have sold our soul to his father he ran roughshod right from the airport after disembarking from the private jet with his mother in tow.

That Gaddafi Senior has total contempt for Kenya is not in any doubt. After auction our country to him before the last bungled elections, the King of kings treat us as the rag that we are. And why not when the highest bidder came to our rescue at the time of dire traits in need of election funds?

Al Saadi had our security men eating from his hand. The prince was accorded all the state security and even extended the handshake past the elbow when he demanded to use his riffle to shoot game at Maasai Mara. And the visit couldn’t have come at a better time for Kenyan get keepers when artificially engineered hunger fraud consumed all our attention.

Gaddafi is on a mission to bastardize the BLACK CONTINENT with his grandiose pet project of United States of Africa. In true Kenyan spirit he bought 200 tribal chiefs from all over Africa to crown him KING OF KINGS just before assuming AU chairmanship. And when he did he dropped the bombshell from Libyan template of democracy dolled in single party.

One can only imagine what OBJECTIVE role Gaddafi would have played were he the AU chair during last years PEV. Thank God for small mercies for the LEADER would have done everything to protect his interests and prop up those owing him plenty in hitherto glamorous Grand Regency deals and all its derivatives.

Moral authority
Fraud strips you of all traces of moral authority and Gaddafi knows it better. He came to Uganda early last year not only to open the regions biggest mosque but he had his eyes singularly trained on payback cheque from his Kenyan debtors. Damn the grim bloodshed then within out shows and the beneficiaries knew better than upset supreme king. They went to Kampala to negotiate postponement of pay. No wonder the GR couldn’t wait to be rebranded LAICO despite the intense heat it generated from within.

Armed with the right dossier of our culpability, Al Saadi came calling the shots. His bravado and trashing of our security apparatus was a re-enactment of Artur brothers II. Well history is unkind to those who refuse to learn from it in making sure such poor souls repeat it at a painful cost.

We haven’t seen anything yet from the ENTERPRISING rulers and their cronies. Al Saadi just outdid the scoundrel in the obtuse impunity game..