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Sunday, January 01, 2012

Only the Stupid Are Poor: Beware of Folks Whose Second Name is Also Their First Name

Christmas holidays are a time for showing off and letting your family and village folk know just how well you are doing. This family I know are no exception.
Do you have any idea what a Prado costs?
There is a son who has been trying to make money doing business for decades. He still doesn’t drive and he still does not have money. Then there his sister who is super rich. She works for a top corporate entity in Nairobi. You see the son is stupid because he does not use his opportunities well. Some principled pauper. The sister drives a Prado which she turned up with in the rural home for the Christmas festivities. (Do you have any idea what a Prado costs? The villagers would have fainted this Christmas if they knew). She is no fool, she simply uses what she has to get what she does not have. She has the looks and so after completing some secretarial course some decades back and tarmacing for a job without any luck, she got smart. There was this bald headed influential CEO who was extremely well connected and he just wanted a small favor to facilitate a well paying job for her. And so she dropped her panties and after taking his weight on her marital bed (I kid you not) for ONLY about 10 minutes or so everything changed. She got her first major break. Briefly told she just dropped her now silky expensive panties to the top.

But who cares how she made her money? Or rather who wants to know? The parents believe she is very hard working and smart. Their first born son? Well he’s hard working but stupid and poor. He doesn’t drive and he doesn’t bring them shopping from Tusky’s. He just talks a lot about principles and a clear conscience. But then talk is cheap.

Many Kumekuchans will agree with this analysis especially when they realize that the poor son has turned down numerous mega-deals just because his conscience did not allow it.

With that kind of background we can move straight into politics.

This guy called Miguna Miguna is very smart. He is certainly not like the poor son in our true story at the beginning of this post. The guy uses what he has to get what he does not have.
Other recent posts by Kumekucha Chris;
Warning to those seeking political office in 2012

Kumekucha's head stops a flying beer bottle from a Kalonzo Musyoka die hard
Picture the following. Last week he went into a very lengthy meeting with the Prime Minister to negotiate his re-instatement back to his old plum job complete with body guards etc. Bwana Miguna came out of that meeting with his old job literally in his pocket. And so why was he calling a press conference barely hours later to announce that he had rejected an offer to reinstate him? Emphasizing that it was the PM who looked for him and not the other way round?

Miguna assures us that the PM is extremely corrupt (which Kenyan politician isn’t? Besides I will publish a post that exposes him soon) but Miguna loves working for the corrupt PM and is prepared to spend a lot of time negotiating for his old job back.

You see Miguna is smart and NOT like the poor son at the beginning of this post because he simply uses what he has to get what he dose not have.

Did double M do some calculations which he was not able to do on the table during the meeting with the PM and realize that he could make much more money from his upcoming book and other deals in his role as whistle blower? He’s probably listened to this Kenny Rogers song called the gambler. “Never count your money on the table coz they will be time enough to count it when the dealing is done.”

And while we are trying to answer that million shilling question, here is another more disturbing one for you.

When Miguna was “suspended without pay” the man was broke. Impeccable sources told this blogger that that was the main “beef” he had with the PM. You see he was very hurt because the PM knew very well that suspending him without pay would hurt him badly and leave him a pauper since he had sacrificed everything for Raila. Folks, all of a sudden double M’s financial problems have vanished into thin air. So what exactly happened?

My fellow Kumekuchans I have no idea what came down (at least not yet) but this I can tell you for sure; chances are that the smart man simply used what he has to get what he does not have.


Anonymous said...

E-cop here.
Kindly RETRACT and REDACT with immediate effect the following too suggestive statement found in Paragraph 2 lines 15 through to 17 of your latest blog post which paints a vivid image in the mind of your readers, and i quote verbatim:

"....And so she dropped her **** and after ***** his **** on*** marital *** (I kid you not) for ONLY *** 10 **** or ***......"

Once more I wish to go on record as distancing myself completely from Kumekucha's latest posting.why do you consistently refuse to think of the children who read this blog?

You have set the bar so LOW and at the beginning of the year too.What happened when that flying beer bottle collided with your head on New Year’s Eve?

I can only apologize to whole FAMILIES reading this popular and beloved blog including the domestic help, watchmen, cooks, and house-helps.

Kindly let Taabu/Mwarang'ethe/Phil/Michael Mwaura etc post if you are unable to TONE IT DOWN ABIT!

Lastly I will never TIRE Chris to always remind you to remember that maintaining high standards is what made Kumekucha 1. Even if you won't do it for the sake of your readers and internet audience. It is one thing to be truthful and another thing entirely to UNNECESSARILY talk about adult matters in public

good day to you, and don't bring them on please


kumekucha said...

@ Luke




Mwarang'ethe said...

Miguna assures us that the PM is extremely corrupt (which Kenyan politician isn’t? Besides I will publish a post that exposes him soon) but Miguna loves working for the corrupt PM and is prepared to spend a lot of time negotiating for his old job back.


It is TRUE that, Kenyan/African politicians are corrupt.

That is the BORING stuff we have heard since 1980's.

The more interesting and CONSTRUCTIVE question is this:

Why is an African, in 2011 more corrupt than a Swiss?

Is it that:

(a) the African is INHERENTLY by HIS/HER NATURE corrupt? or,

(b) is there something else at work?

The ability to end this corruption lies in the way we answer this vital question.

If you follow the corruption "debates" in Africa, as SPONSORED by the WB and IMF, they are pushing (a) above, which is to say that, BY NATURE, AFRICANS are corrupt.

Unfortunately, Africans have bought this RACIST LIE.

NB: For those who have noticed, stealing "donors" funds and then, refunding is the NEW method of eating.

Anyway, since this amounts to supporting corruption, by questioning such BLTANT RACIST theories, and men:

(a) see the SUPERSTRUCTURE, while

(b) blind to the FOUNDATION of things,

we leave in a huff to enjoy:

I & I blood runs cold when I & I see/read Babylon Propaganda denigrading the African people as corrupt by NATURE:

Mwarang'ethe said...

Just to give a HINT.

When Africans run for FREEDOM, the Western pychiatrists, identified an African PECULIAR disease which they called:


They assured themselves and other IDIOTS that, this MENTAL ILLNESS PECULIAR to the Africans was the CAUSE of this very strange behaviour of Africans of wanting to be free.

Now, the same people whose SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE identified love of liberty as a MENTAL DISEASE, have in the 20th and 21st Century identified some new PECULIAR AFRICANS diseases.

The leading ones being:

- corruption, and

- impunity.


mmmmmm, they LIE!

Do not let them FOOL YOU,

or try to SCHOOL YA:

Anonymous said...

If you follow the corruption "debates" in Africa, as SPONSORED by the WB and IMF, they are pushing
I do not agree with that statement for I think corruption is a real problem to deal with in a country as ours.

You'll recall at one time the PS in the ministry of Finance revealed that as much as 25% of national budget is lost on corruption. Now, tell me where else in the world this happens if not in Africa.

In sum perhaps it would be more accurate to say corruption is more prevalent in Africa that anywhere else. I really do not see what WB and IMF has to do with this.

Anonymous said...

I just want to remind you of one historical fact that is always left looming under the radar of the so-called discarded _______ calendars from 46 BC.

For Janus, the two-faced god and doorkeeper, who knew the past and foresaw the future. In his shrine, the doors were closed in times of peace and open in times of war.

Mnyamaa kadumbu. [One who keeps silent, endures].

I couldn't afford to endure it anymore but break one of my two days old New Year's resolution, by asking, what of yos have we eaten that yo are warning the whole commune to be weary of those of us whose second names are also our certified first names?

What's really wrong with being named after your biological father - nothing against baba wa kambo wa ziku hizi au maankal wa humu humu na hapa na pale - and grandfather, or let's say great-grandfather?

Why have yourself christened, Joseph Michael Ludovic Khayemba, Jr., Festus Rapahel Jacob Macua, Jr., or Moses Abraham Lincoln Mbayi, Jr., when one could have easily adopted - with real pride - the last names of his father, grandfather and even great-grandfather?

Talking of cases where the first, middle and last names that happen to be the same, such as, Semul ole Semul (in honour of father) Semul (in honour of grandfather)?

Or Wainaina wa Wainaina-Wainaina, Mwachofi wa Mwachofi-Mwachofi, and Mwamzandi wa Mwamzandi-Mwamzandi?

Anyway, let it be dimissed as usual with one broad stroke of "it's full of redundancy gallore and senseless comparison". Or too primitive aka culturally incorrect.

However why should it be okay (justified) when a Mritania (Brit) from Caledonia, Albion or Hibernia, is named Michael Wilcox Oliver Mcpherson in honour of his lineage; father, grand-father, great-grandfather and clan?

And why should a Kenyan who goes by the name 'Cliff Peter Festus' be more trusted than one with a name like Miguna Miguna, Kabongo wa Kabongo, Rapando Rapando, Mwamuto Mwamuto, or Mulongo Mulolongo?

Jameni, nauliza, what's really in a name and what isn't?

By the way, let's cross our clean fingers and hope that the doors to the shrine of Janus will remain in the course of 2012 as well as in 2013, for the people and whole country - Kenya - are really in need of lasting PEACE.

Mwarang'ethe said...

In sum perhaps it would be more accurate to say corruption is more prevalent in Africa that anywhere else. I really do not see what WB and IMF has to do with this.

1/2/12 9:16 AM


It is TRUE, TRUE AND TRUE to the power of n, that, there is more corruption in Africa than for example in Sweden.

Having accepted that indisputable fact, we go ahead ask thee:

(a) Why is it so?

(b) what does such high levels of corruption tell you?

The issue is this.

If you are well versed with political economical, and we would like to FLATtER ourselves that, the IMF and WB IDIOTS are well versed with REAL ECONOMICS, you would find this:

The ESSENCE of political economy is the STUDY of:

(i) the human actions,

(ii) which have their aim the attainment of material satisfactions.

In so doing, the ESSENCE of that STUDY then, is nothing, but, to discover the laws of man's own nature.

If corruption is a human action whose aim is attainment of material safisfcations, what does its HIGH PREVALENCE in Africa as opposed to Sweden tell you because, we have the SAME HUMAN NATURE in both places?

The problem we have with the IMF/WB, Githongo's, Lumumba's and such DUPES approach is that, they seek to avoid the above question so as to justify their UTTER RACIST agenda of labelling African CORRUPT BY NATURE.

As such, having painted Africans as CORRUPT BY NATURE, they can avoid the REAL SOLUTION.

They do so because, the REAL SOLUTION to corruption in Africa is not in their interest.

In other words, the African corruption is good for them. However, to fool you, they make USELESS noises.

As we wait for they enlightening answer to the two questions, we leave to enjoy:

They are FOOLING AFRICANS once again:

Anonymous said...

Talk about blind irony;

HIGH PREVALENCE of CORRUPTION in Africa has little do with SAME HUMAN NATURE otherwise "one" would see the same principle of HUMAN NATURE at work in reverse labelling RACIST of the Western imperialists as the NATURAL CORRUPTERS OF AFRICA BY DEFAULT.

In your mind its PAINT THE WEST OR BE PAINTED BY THE WEST and you are still void of any REAL SOLUTION to corruption in Africa

Talk about blind irony; behind every looming shadow lurks the WEST

Anonymous said...

@KID (King of intellectual delusion)

You have transcended the new year in your old gab. Please go back to your intellectual cave and see the light. You one-dimensional take on things is intoxicatingly boring.

Can you please post anything without seeing imperialism/West/WB etc shadows lurking? You are one deluded fellow who believes a name profers authenticity. Well, akina Ngugi (James) did it but where are they? You are farting in the secure winter laughing at Africans just like their politcians. Hyp...

Mwarang'ethe said...

Talk about blind irony;

HIGH PREVALENCE of CORRUPTION in Africa has little do with SAME HUMAN NATURE otherwise "one" would see the same principle of HUMAN NATURE at work in reverse labelling RACIST of the Western imperialists as the NATURAL CORRUPTERS OF AFRICA BY DEFAULT.


We never said the West corrupts Africa.

So, read the comments, digest them and come back please.

Mwarang'ethe said...

Can you please post anything without seeing imperialism/West/WB etc shadows lurking?


Change of ALLIGIANCE does not amount to a change of CIVILIZATION.

Come back prepared please.

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm! Mmmmm! Lest we forget the fact that most of the deadly economic hitmen are former senior and middle level employees of the WB and IMF, renowned NGOs and 'decommissioned' members of the diplomatic corps -turned pariahs, mercenaries, leeches, cheats, rogues, crooks, bottom barrel feeders (drug smugglers, arms dealers and human traffickers) etc.

These are rutheless gangs of economic hitmen who are no strangers to the affected African nations, where the weaknesses, call it corruption et al, is well known to them, including the ways and means of how to readily exploit them to the tilt with the help of unsthical insiders - spotted hyenas, striped hyenas, vipers, skunks, mongoose, and other indigenious nocturnal rodents.

Corruption of any kind, be it political or economic, is a common occurrence in any type of political systems around the world.

The only difference when it comes to certain countries in Africa, Asia, the Middle East, and in poor European nations, is that, there are no proper checks and balances that prevent the escalation of various lucrative corruption activities through out those nations, unlike in countries such as Germany, Canada, USA, Britain, Japan, Netherlands, Norway among others.

Of course, with the exception of Italy, France and Russia where corruption is still woven into the fabric of society, and the jury is no longer out in all of the well known French, Italian and Russian accepted tradition of corruption.

And above all, the will to provide the much needed autonomy and real power vested in the respective judicial systems to carry out their official duties without constant outside interference or undue influence.

Anonymous said...

Only the Procrastinators Remain Wanting (Poor).

More power to Monica, the 'Monied Sister' who drives an ornamental Prado.

After all there are 1000s of her ilk who have resigned themselves to short sales when they could have negotiated for higher returns, with silky or without silky maneuvers.

Unlike the principled brother of a pauper who has never bothered to adjust his cherished principles and world view from, I hope things will work out, to I will make it happen. I wish things were better, to I am going to do the following things to ensure that I feel better when my sister rolls into her paternal home driving a Prado. Maybe it will be OK, to I will make it OK, while he continues to fight for a nobler cause and better world, armed with a clear conscience.

When all is said and done, the only modus operandi that requires any disapproval is the avenue through which 'Monica' used to access her immediate goals.

Bringing her work related extra curricular promotional activities and sordid agenda back home is a big NO! NO!.

And worst of all, the negligent involvement of her one and only marital chamber for the sole purpose of upgrading her well calculated secure financial well being, should have never been allowed to be executed therein.

Safari Park, Hotel Boulevard or twenty other hideouts (nector-nests) around town, would have made idle rendezvous, but not within the walls of her own marital castle.

Of course two wrongs don't a make right. So don't get me wrong for thinking otherwise.

While I agree with those who hold the view that children of a certain age should neever be subjected to further sheer torment, childhood turmoil and tremendous emotional uheaval.

I hate to remind some of us that we would be shocked beyond measure to find out that some of the so called children who dare read this blog and other blogs have been exposed to so much more than the age appropriate level of exposure that they are supposed to experience during the precious, delicate and critical journey of their age innocence.

Which happens very so often courtesy of the well known ongoing shenanigans of their own parents, close relatives, neighbours, the parents of their class/schoolmates and teachers.

With all due respect to the moral stand you've clearly taken, and the under mentioned is not a pun intended nor directed at you in any way or shape.

However, there are well known parents* who never allow their children to use any cursing words or swearing in their house or in the company of others, yet their own family residences have ben turned into more of a revolving doors for prospective father or mother figures with no avail in the last ten years or so.

Lest we forget the long term pyschological effect ssuch exposure has on children and yound adults, let alone the other related disorders that ensue due to one reason or another.

*Names, professions, locations et al withheld for obvious reasons.

Mwarang'ethe said...

Unable to UNDERSTAND what is REALLY GOING in their own country, and WHY the Americans have adopted "our" method of "fighting corruption."

You doubt it?

Here is theeeeeeeee American version of the "WAR ON CORRUPTION."

"Judicial Watch Announces List of Washington’s:

“Ten Most Wanted Corrupt Politicians” for 2011."

With such JOKES all around, we just leave to enjoy:

Time will Tell For:

Think you're in heaven, but ya living in hell,

Old man sycamore tree, saw the freedom tree,

Jah would never give the power to a baldhead
Run come crucify the Dread.

Anonymous said...

Anon 6:46PM
How many DEAR WIVES do you have? no prizes for the right answer please.......

I understand where you are coming from but let me ask you this: politicians and public figures are already FAIR GAME for satire yet often they choose often to air their dirty domestic linen for all and sundry (remember MAMA MAKOFI and.....)

but does this mean we the foot soldiers must adopt the same TRICKS when spectating the game from the public gallery? If that is the case the monkeys will always change but the forest remains the same and we are no better than the "STUPID POOR" who we blog about here daily.

I hope you can see and appreciate my PASSIONOMETER about this matter!

Anonymous said...

Your PASSIONOMETER about the matter is duly noted, understood and above all appreciated.

Seconded, foot soldiers, civil society (that's no longer a friendly society to the less fortunate) and the rest of us should never ever adopt or employ the very same political tumbiri or kanyuru tactics that have been perfected by a large percentage of politicians and public figures in our midst.

BTW, I still strongly believe that there is no such group of people among us as FUKURA WAJINGA or MASKINI PUMBAVU.

Other than, those of us who have managed to gain an advantage over other people (those less fortunate) through one way or another, and for as long as our positions of our economic, social and political advantage are protected by the powers that be, and while they last.

Therefore, we should only discount the reversal of fortune at our peril, due to the fact that lessons in life are always learned in an uncomfortable fashion and with the passing of time.

Leo kwao, na bila shaka, kesho kwetu.

Anonymous said...

Do you have any idea what a Prado costs?.

Yes I do! That piece of ornamental metal combined with hardened plastics is worth a whole school is our nearest village.

And by a whole primary school, I mean;
- eight (8) modern classrooms,
- one (1) library,
- five (5) toilets for [m]boys,
- six (6) for [n]girls,
- one (1) large staff room for ten teachers,
- one (1) headteacher's office,
- one (1) office for the deputy headteacher,
- one (1) storage room for school supplies,

- one (1) front office for the school secretary.

And we wonder why most villages in the country side and slums in urban areas are cluttered or littered with decrepit buildings that pass for primary schools and secondary schools in 2012.

Anyhow, believe me when I say that very few villagers will remember that Monica, the "Monied Sister" used to drive a Prado, let alone own one, five years from December 2011.

And, not a single soul within the village of Pakatapakata and the surrounding villages of Kilanguni, will ever recall or even emulate the noble principles of her brother, the pauper.

Or worse the politicians who used to rent helicopters and fly as an alternative to avoiding pests ( constituents in need of real help) and at the same time dodge driving on roads that would rival the worst surface on the moon.

Those who forget their history are condemned to repeat it over and over again.

Case in point, how many of us are old enough or not so young enough to recall Who-was-Who among the so-called respected, distinguished, honoured, popular, admired, envied, Sons and Daughters from our respective villages and towns?

People who once owned very expnsive veicle models such as a Mercedes Benz, Ranger Rover, Montero (original one), Pajero, Hummer (!!!LOL!!!), among others.

Talking of very expensive vehicles that were purchased in order to shock and awe onlookers, especially people in the villages during the nauseating Show-N-Tell or Look-At-Now or I-Have-Arrived type of displays every Chrismas holiday?

History is a really brutal nyang'au and a great equilizer of sorts.

Do we have any idea of how much money we can put to better use* in our so-called villages while time is still on our side?

*[Gifts that will keep benefiting future village generations in 2020, 2030, 2040 and beyond 2050].

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