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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Why 2012 Will Continue To Be My AHA Year

Happy New Year Kumekuchans!!!

Most of us imagine that we are fairly intelligent and will never lose an opportunity to point out how “slow” others are in grasping stuff. But the truth is that we are all NOT very clever. The whole lot of us.

How do you for instance explain full grown men huddled in a small bar with no ventilation just to watch the images of 22 full grown men chasing around an inflated cow hide beamed onto a screen in the room from a very far away land? And then some of them have the audacity to go out and kill themselves just because some of the vicious leather-kicking-chaps did not hack the damn cow hide between two posts. Humans can't be that bright.

And I can give many, many more examples that prove that the human race is nothing short of idiots who think they are very clever.

But once in a while people do admit how dumb they have been and that is what I call the “aha” moment. When you see things so very clearly for the first time. For Isaac Newton an apple had to fall from a tree above and hit his soft mzungu head hard for him to “see” that there was something called gravity (why had nobody thought of that all those centuries?).

For yours truly it may have been a flying beer bottle colliding with my head on New Year’s Eve thrown with uncommon venom by a Kalonzo Musyoja die-hard supporter. This rabid tribalist-beer-bottle-thrower did not take kindly to my insightful observation that it was easier for my dead grandmother to be elected the fourth president of Kenya posthumously than it was for one Kalonzo Musyoka to win the presidency even after all his possible opponents were conveniently locked up at the Hague and the key thrown into that river I hear passes close to that famous city.

Anyway the details of that bottle collision with my head and the resultant injuries are nowhere near as important as what happened immediately after impact. I had one of those major “aha” moments where everything became so crystal clear to me. Especially the idiotic Kenyan politics I write about in this blog.

Kumekucha readers can expect to benefit tremendously from this great aha moment in the posts to follow and every single one you will read here in this very political year.

I take this opportunity to apologize to you all for all the dumb posts of the past. I promise to shape up in 2012.

Kindly share your “aha’ moments of 2011 in the comments section below even as you look forward to my upcoming aha posts of 2012 on Kenyan politics and politicians.


Anonymous said...


Mwarang'ethe said...

For yours truly it may have been a flying beer bottle colliding with my head on New Year’s Eve thrown with uncommon venom by a Kalonzo Musyoja die-hard supporter. This rabid tribalist-beer-bottle-thrower did not take kindly to my insightful observation that


Bwa ha ha ha he he he hi we wi wi

Opium Taking Crowds at their best, he he haha.


Anyway, bye bye 2011, the year of DUPES.

Karibu 2012, the year of OPIUM SESSIONS (KE and USA), DEBTS and BANKRUPTCIES accompanied by their brothers, sisters and cousins.

God willing, we will be back.

With that, we leave to start 2012 by enjoying:

All and all you see a-gwan
Is to fight against Rastaman.

So they build their world in GREAT CONFUSION,

To force on us the DEVIL'S ILLUSION

But the STONE that the builder refuse,

Shall be the head CORNESTONE,

Tell you what: now the people gather on the beach,

And the leader try to make a speech,

But the Dreadies understandin' that it's TOO LATE:

Anonymous said...

My aha moment was in the last few hours of 2011 was when I realized that Miguna Miguna is a mental case.

You meet with the PM for hours to discuss about you being re-instated back to your old job and this is after many months of throwing tantrums including cheating Kenyans that you are doing a book on the corrupt ways of Raila Odinga.

Then after that meeting you call a press conference to announce that you have turned down the offer to have your old job back just because a few "ts" were not crossed in the contract.

Somebody rush this guy to Mathari mental hospital.

Anonymous said...

My AHA moment is the stoning of Tuju in Kisumu. As a proud Jaluo I found this really embarrassing to say the least. Fully grown up men throwing stones to another for what??!!
I have now come up with my own conclusion, Luos are undemocratic, primitive and very bizzare group of people.
Actually now my money is on Tuju than Raila to become the 4th president of kenya. I wonder what these jaluos will do to Tuju if he beats Raila?

Anonymous said...

The idiot who threw a beer bottle at Chris can as well smash Mukhisa Kituyi's balded head for writing this in today's Sunday Nation:

"Mr Musyoka has been in Parliament for nearly three decades. During that time one cannot remember a single issue of public interest on which he has taken a principled stand or been quoted to offer leadership."

Anonymous said...

I would rather have Kalonzo (anyday) as the 4th President of Kenya over Raila Ojinga!!

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year! I have a dilemma which maybe you can help me solve;

I don't know which one is more sad,
that Anon@4.22AM,
@4:37 AM
@5:10 AM
@8:25 AM
are all the same person, with no family to keep him company on new year day other than to make comments in KK,or if its sad that he's starting the year so bitterly
Get a life Kumekucha Prefect/Kumekucha Princess/fake Oracle

Help me out Kumekuchans and happy 2012

Anonymous said...

Anon 8:40 AM aka ORIGINAL Oracle,

It's 2012, a brand new year and you are letting the ghosts of 2011 follow you into new year?
Oracle, I know your ego was severely dented - crashed that's the right word in 2011 but please mate, see 2012 in a new perspective and don't allow yourself to get muddled-up with who comment on this comment page.

Happy New year Oracle!!

Taabu said...


Swali kwanza: what were you doing in that place in first place. Since you got converted (moulted) you were warned not to and now you see the wages of .........LOL.

HNY 2012.

Anonymous said...

Incredible story there. What occurred after? Take care!

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