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Monday, August 17, 2009

Conducting Choir of Denial: 10 Ways To Survive In Dark Thirsty Hungry Kenya

Following Martha Karua’s unprecedented move to take the principals head on abroad, Kenyans would benefit a lot by borowing her deadly venom. For starters we need her steely guts to confront the myriad calamities that have taken permanent residence within our borders.

Here are 10 time-tested strategies we can adopt to see us overcome them:

1. Complain bitterly about cost of living to anyone within earshot

2. Harbor deep bitterness and resentment angrily within because of country’s state of affairs

3. Don’t shower or bath-just “splash” necessary area

4. Rising food prices-loose weight freely due to food shortage

5. Read trusted Standard newspaper now only once a week save on shillings

6. Power rationing-can’t watch always trusted KTN

7. Biting drought-drill borehole in backyard due to water shortage

8. Ration phone air-time- use smoke signals to communicate with friends and family

9. Endure nightmare traffic jams while road rage builds slowly due to unruly roads

10. Discover uchumi wa kadogo-enjoy small packets of essentials from neighbouring slums


Anonymous said...

I guess KK continues to feed from the mud-filled bottom.

Anonymous said...

The only acccurate statement in this article is the fact that Martha Karua had the balls to resign on matters of principle instead of bickering from within. On the other hand, Molasses 'Mwizi wa Mahindi' Raila and his luo Nyanza choir boys continues to blame the government that they control as if they are there not by choise. shame on them pigs who make groans while their snouts are deep in the feeding trough.

About standard and Ktn being your trusted sources, now there explains why you make moronic statements. but hey, there is freedom of speech so go on and pass hot air.

M-Pesa said...

Bwa ha ha ha

4:57, that "accurate statement" is no where in the article, maybe in your warped imagination.

ritch said...

Luke, toa hiyo weka ingine: "Ration phone air-time- use smoke signals to communicate with friends and family". Hahahahahahahaha.... Smoke signals! In our heavily polluted atmosphere?!

Mama said...

Which backyard should I drill the borehole? Someone already grabbed it!

Another saving for uchumi packet thingies, is to board Citi Hoppas all the time. I hear people are given Royco 'ndogo' packets on board. Unfortunately, for many Nairobians, buses are not on all routes.

LoL on showering! Ati splash necessary areas! There are other unnecessary body parts on you, Luke?

Injeraz said...

Can Kumekucha and other websites start pushing for Kibaki and Raila to step down forthwith and bring in an interim government because they have totally failed this country. we also need to start organizing Kenyans to go to the streets in their millions because we need a revolution.

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