Watch out what comes out of your mouth or acts lest you meet the full wrath of one Lucy Muthoni. With Imanyara cheeks still smarting from Lucy’s blow, it is in every State House guest’s interest to pad his or her cheeks.
You are defined by the character of the company you keep. Lucy’s serial slapping antics loops us into the quality of leadership emanating from that big house. She started small time with the photo journalist Derrick and in no time her palms have graduated to MPs. One wonders what harm she inflicts on those she stays with.
Intoxicating power
Troubles come surely comes in doubles. While Kibaki is scrambling in search of a more lethal force to silence Kenyans or make them speedily forget that he STOLE ELECTIONS, Lucy’s bad manners even muddies the the evil scene further. And she dutifully completes the picture with characteristic white lies escaping through her her teeth and dolled as shameless denials. Shaggy’s song it wasn’t me couldn’t have been more aptly in capturing theatre of the absurd.
Serial vices must be truly infectious. Serial vices must be truly infectious. Listening to Gitobu Imanyara recounting his ordeal at the hands of merciless mama Jimmy leaves you torn between sympathizing or laughing at the lanky lawyer. Between Imanyara and Lucy Kenyans can only trust one person who unfortunately cannot be the later. Power surely intoxicates till you are ready to sniff life out of your own blood.
The gem in Lucy’s rants lies in her insensitive and belligerent remarks. She reckons Imanyara is a friend to the Luos (must be animals!) and even goes further to deride the legislator’s ‘STUPID’ Merus voters. Poor Lucy! She is so consumed by contempt to an extent that she unwittingly insults and harms the very hands feeding her political ‘might’
God before man
Deception and contempt are two vices that Kibaki’s regime has perfected to new levels. And the engine driving them is singularly fuelled and oiled by TRIBALISM. And X-ray into Lucy’s mind produces a photocopy of stereotypes and bigotry that populate this blog in plenty.
But as Kanye West sings NOTHING LASTS FOREVER and the time of reckoning is nigh. Only unbriddled arrogance makes fools believe that they came before God. No single soul can be a parasitic gift to his country, none. Kenya is too bing for all of us but too small for some of us. No more cheap tribal bad-mouthing. No more Kenyan backs to ride and break.
This is a well thought and written article.Today I talked to my brother who at statehouse as GSU officer and he told me that Jimmy is in hospistal as Lucy shot him in the leg.This is a patheic family and Kenya will be destroyed because of one Mama Lucy.I hate to to tell you guys but I wish my Kikuyu tribes we are informed on what is going on at state house ,this guys are turning other Kenyans against using tribalism to perfect this.BRAVO Jimmy he stood out of this sick family told daddy to resign and retire from politics.Watch this space the Kibaki and his wife will soon be dead.And it is Kikuyus who will do it
ReplyDeleteanonymous 2.43 are you serious? i thought it was a rumour!! the problem with rumours in kenya is that they always turn out to be true, I hope this one is not. Lucy is cold but to the extent of shooting her own son?
ReplyDeleteI have said it before and I will say it again, when a man's wife starts behaving wildly and violently in public, it means there are some very serious problems at home. The way I see it, this Lucy woman is not being appeased enough. In fact, her degree of pain is excruciating; which explains why she's prone to slapping people all the time.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, don't be fooled to imagine that such type of violence ends in public. The reality is that when the doors of the State House bedroom are closed, Kibaki receives a thorough thrashing; the type that white colonial soldiers used to unleash upon hapless maumau suspects.
In all fairness, spousal abuse of the husbandry type must be urgently addressed. The entire country has already seen where it can lead. I say this because I know Kibaki personally. He is a good man. He wanted to relinquish power but told me he couldn't as he terribly feared the wrath of Lucy. You see, it has been rumored that Lucy has stored away in a State House closet , a whip made of weaved wires and rubber in anxious anticipation of when Kibaki accepts defeat.
Michuki admitted to Nairobi Hospital.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kenyatimesonline.com/content.asp?catid=2&articleId=578
Hahahaa Anoan Psychologist @2.59 did you say ..........'I say this because I know Kibaki personally. He is a good man. He wanted to relinquish power but told me he couldn't as he terribly feared the wrath of Lucy........
ReplyDeleteWhether that is fact or fiction you left me all tears in laughter. Man I have never exposed my post molars in along time. Meanwhile talk to Emilio na umsaidie jamani, the mzee needs help now that even Jimmy is recuperating. Who will bell this WILD CAT called Ruci?
mrembowaodm, YEAH it is true Jimmy is nursing at state house now and my brother is telling me that he might immigrate to someother country and sometimes he contemplates revealing the whole thing for the world to see.Lucy is not a normal women as what she tells those GSU guys is that they should if they see any LUO or Muslim near statehouse,this makes my brother very nervous for he fears for the future of Kenya.
ReplyDeleteChickens coming home to roast
ReplyDeletehttp://www.monitor.co.ug/artman/publish/Ejiet/10_million_beggars_fighting_back_in_Kenya.shtml
Taabu...since when have I lied? Do you know why Kibaki stopped playing rounds of golf? We'll one day I dropped him off at SS after the usual mbili mbili. Eh!! wacha nikuambie, the prezo received some very seriuos shots on the head, thanks to the golf club he was foolishly still holding. I'm lucky I escaped alive. One day I will tell you why he stopped drinking. Ngoja tu.
ReplyDeleteIf the link below is not enough to make my Gema sisters cross over to the side of democracy, then they are lost and I wash my hands. It is a harbinger for things to come soon to a town near you in Mt Kenya region.
ReplyDeleteThe towns run by mungiki are degenerating into a sort of stone age/cromagnon societies. Women can not wear trousers, and wait a minute, they should be circumcised. After the thugs have found no men to 'cut' now they threaten women. It is in the blood otherwise how can you explain Lucy and Emilio's absolute lack of manners?
Now please, ladies, join us and naturally the guys would follow. I mean aren't you afraid of Mungiki in the soon to be Mt Kenya republic?
http://www.kenyatimesonline.com/content.asp?catid=2&articleId=579
KIMELI @ 2.57; yes, ours has been a history of greed and treachery.
ReplyDeleteThat is why Kenya cannot face the future without a new constitution and solving the current problems decisively.
History has documented our injustices and the 2002/8 violence is proof that Kenyans do not suffer collective amnesia.
Standard and Daily Nation - the negotiation team finally got to the touchy election fraud issue today and it has not surprisingly turned out to be the road bump of the talks.
ReplyDeleteDiscussions were heated and the two sides ate lunch separately for the first time since the talks started.
Anon @ 7.48 yes both papers carried the story but the Standard version is more comprehensive and detailed.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite line:
"The sense of unease appeared to stem from concerns - according to sources - that someone or a group of people seemed to be succeeding in bogging down the talks with the unfolding humanitarian crisis at the expense of the equally more urgent matter of what triggered it."
WE MUST GIVE KENYANS A REASON TO BELIEVE IN THE FUTURE OF DEMOCRATIC PROCESSES IN THIS COUNTRY OTHERWISE THE VIOLENCE WILL VISIT US REGULARLY.
Katiba Mpya + Electoral solution = Amani ya Kudumu.
PNU continues to rob us blind.
ReplyDeleteAs if Angloleasing and the Artur brothers aren't enough, the PNU govt. had to send K. Musyoka on a senseless trip to the U.S. and Britain - where he has been duly snubbed.
Stop wasting our taxes!!!!!!!!!
It is surprising that 2 days after hearing their own very son crying how he was assaulted at SH the Meru are just quiet. Njuri Ncheke mko wapi? Kijana wenu amepigwa na mwanamke ambaye sio bibi yake! You people who voted your son into parliament, how do you feel being called "Foolish Merus"? Tell your son to cross the floor, call for a by-election, vote him in on an ODM ticket with 98% turnout. You will NEVER be called foolish again. Mwiraria, where is the sword you used to dance with? Remove it from the sheath and dance again, this time singing circumcision songs. Kiraitu, say something before the matter becomes sub judice. And you Muthaura, how did you feel when you were telling your brother to walk out (at least you are the only one who did something positive to help your kin). Merus are said to be short tempered. Why has the fuse taken so long to blow?
ReplyDeleteMmeru Mwenzenu.
Moderator of Kumekucha
ReplyDeleteI was in a cybercafe and I bumped into your blog. This is the first time I am seeing a blog. I have really liked the contributions I have read, especially of Psychologist of 2:59. I have a few questions to ask which if you answer, will determine whether I can also contribute some sensitive matters or not
1. If I wrote some sensitive matters, can I be tracked and traced upto the computer and even telephone line I used ( for example if I use my own laptop and Telkom landline)?
2. Are the times indicated at the bottom of each entry ndicative of Kenyan time the entry was uploaded or what do they stand for?
Novice
There are many things that surprise me, leave the Kibaki/Lucy issue that is a waste of time...Coz the Bible is clear if a man cannot have control over his household, then he should not be a leader, What surprises me is that someone somewhere believes that PNU won the elections. Can someone really make me understand!!!PNU has 45 MPs (leave alone the affiliates parties) ODM has 100 double their number, PNU has just over 300 councillors, ODM has well over 900 councillors that is almost tripple the number...And yet we are told it is the councillors who are in touch with the voters. Then how do you explain Kibaki's win, that guys really hated the PNU manifesto and the guys who chose to vie with that ticket but gush...They really loved Kibaki.
ReplyDeleteCome on someone pls explain to me that you have been a president for five years, with an "economic growth of 7% and an inflation rate of 11%" and yet you manage to bear your rival who is "uncircumcised" and who only managed to build three toilets in Langata constituency with only 200,000 votes...There are just things that i really don't understand and apparently if Karua has not convinced me then i am wondering just how Koffi Anan will believe that story, that you see guys were so disappointed with just over 10 law makers in the previous regime but the president they had no problem with him......
Any sober central person will know Kibaki won, yes but he stole the elections, Any sober Kao person Vikii included (By the way where is he?) will know that Kalonzo betrayed the people of this country and doesn't deserve any seat in this land. And any sober luo/kalenjine/luhya person will know that kikuyus did not steal the votes Kibaki did and for the sake of peace or harmony let us leave together and let us all have equal opportunities. I want my life as it was before the elections,,,,This tribal tension is all over in offices where you think people are sober, our for example go for lunch at the cafeteria....Serena yesterday was just a comic...People from central have been alienated by people from this other regions and just by looking at the sitting arrangement you can know that there is a problem somewhere.....So pls Kenyans let us embrace each other for the sake of other generations to come after us.
novice @ 9:49
ReplyDeletefrom experience reading this blog, classified material which is actual fact (typically PNU secrets) will sound like fiction and be instantly shredded by PNU diehard supporters and they will quickly manufacture fictional antidotes depicting ODM "as even worse" so fear not, just bring it on.
This is a great joke, it seems that the fake/clone Kumekucha blog - http://kumekuchas.blogspot.com - has come under intense pressure, and has resorted to only open to invited readers only...
ReplyDeletePNU/NSIS etc - please if you can't take the heat then don't waste your time trying to divert people from this genuine blog...Why the hell do you need people to be invited to read your blogs, are you trying to police th blogs as well.....God help these idiots!!!
Someone please provide a proper answer to novice. I too would like to know the answers to those 2 questions he/she raised. Sometimes on cyberspace I cant help but feel like there are some spiders crawling all over - watching. And the clock - yeah the clock seems mostly off-kilter.
ReplyDeleteNovice, where have you been? Blogs have been around like forever.
wanjiku the internet is like big brother someone somewhere is always watching-its the justification given for tracking crime. i know somebody is tracking your sms's right now..........his name is poghisio hahaha!
ReplyDeleteWanjiku @ 11.34; in a nation where over 50% of the population lives below the poverty line, you will be surprised at just how many have no idea what a blog is.
ReplyDeleteThat is one of the reasons why we need change. We need a constitution that will implement majimboism and economic justice.
hey chris,nice work. pliz give an answer to Novice. he/she may know something we need to hear. They may have been in the kitchen at KICC or at SH, who knows. We may just open an avenue to many others who are holding back!
ReplyDeleteJust a weird thought... Lucu's shortcoming would have worked out as a charm for Kenyans had she been on Jimmy's/ Justice's side.
ReplyDeleteI can picture her calling Kibaki and telling- ''I want you to call Raira to sate for a meeting tdy''
On arrival she cld sit the two gentlemen down and tell baba jimmy- '' I demand u chare power with raira or accept a re-run today!''
As Karua or Michuki tries to protest- her hand would be raised and anyone dare challenge gets slapped silly?
Within no time Kibaki would confirm he is stepping down for a re-run or asking Kenyans to allow him have an interim gava to share power and change our constitution.
In this manner her crazyness would have benefitted majority Kenyans??
@ mmeru mwenzenu; am equally disgusted by my meru sisters and brothers. To be insulted as such and keep mum when a majority of us stood by the thief is worse than the blows received by Imanyara. This only confrims what i have always retariated to my fellow tribes people that they have blindly followed the kikuyus' path whereas the kikuyu would care less. Do you know that the Merus were one of the most hated tribes by kikuyus in old days? the kikuyus even had this saying for someone who had been from a very far off and primitive place that 'have you been in meru?'. For a meru to marry a kikuyu those days, let's just say you had to be really in love to go through what they would put you through. Just ask my father what hell he went through when he was marrying my kikuyu mother, notwithstanding that both sets of parents were staunch christians! what happened then that merus decided to kiss these people's asses??? Am not relly a tribalist but what am reading regarding kiruci's reference to merus makes me feel sorry for my fellow tribes men, especially knowing that i tried to advocate for ODM before elections but they all looked at me like a piece of crap. Anyway, maybe my fellow merus deserve the tag.
ReplyDeleteThanks anon 11.57. Poghisio had better start building more prisons to accommodate all the bloggers, texters and rumour mongers from Kenya and the Diaspora. A few foreign journalists might also find themselves in the mix. Tough work ahead Poghisio.
ReplyDeleteAnon 12.26, true true. After the events of the last one month, is it even 50% living below the poverty line any more? Ugatuzi and Economic justice plus young leaders. we need leaders who can blog with us. We need to be able to ask Michuki questions online and have him reply via the same. Speaking of Michuki, he's so quiet. Where is he?
@anon 12.50 aiii people dont you know michuki was taken ill with food poisoning and was actually in nairobi hospital. he suffered food poisoning in some oriental country either china or malaysia where he was on some official business but it has been said he is on his way to recovery-saw it on kenya times.
ReplyDeleteThe blog is becoming boring coz its all pro-DOM.
ReplyDeleteWhere is Vikii and Proud Kikuyu Woman? Or have they decided to leave DOM with their govt bashing?
I also intend to do the same.
And talking of TRIBALISM, ask Raila what is. He tried calling the Kiuk adui, and that is majorly the problem. The Kikuyu will not give Raila an inch of a chance. Hata afanye nini!
Anon 1.14 you can visit the clone blog and ejoy Panuaism.
ReplyDeleteThe pple on this blog are a mixture of ODM extremist, realists even Pessimists.
All the realists know Kibaki stole the elections and we do not know who the real winner is- for Panuaits this sounds like Odmism.
Thank you for your obsession with RAO - this has indeed only increased his fame and popularity?
Anon 1.23,
ReplyDeleteThe reason I dont support DOM is because its leader thought he could clobber the Kiuks. Rude shock. We are a force he has to reckon with in his pursuit for power. You can not seek to isolate a community and expect to go anywhere. We will stop you before you even start. And when the frustrated professor Nyong'o says 'Kenyans' will come out in large numbers to Mass Protest, he is talking of poor DOM followers. Stop messing the sanctity of the word 'Kenyans'. I think he is broke, he is not a business man to know it hurts to keep calling for silly riots and chaos in Nairobi.
Anon 1.36, I feel sorry for you bcoz, all you think about are the poor Kiuks and RAO.
ReplyDeleteYou do not realise Kenya is made up of 42 tribes and over 30 million pple.
It's not abt RAO or his being president, its abt the rest of Kenya and their demand for Justice and equity.
I can assure you now in RAO's absence another shall come.
And by the way b4 you sound stupid the business men will have nowhere to sell their produce without a market- hence however hard you may want to work you need a market niche to support the so called hard work?
FYI have you passed by Machakos Airport recently to see the number of new buses Lunjes have bought in the wake of economic boycotts?
I'm telling you mambo bado- and if you have not yet understood my point pulizz its not abt RAO and his being president!!
1:50....WELL SAID, SPOT ON..;))
ReplyDeleteShow me your wife and I will tell you your character.
ReplyDeleteA mad dog can only court a mad bitch.
Anon 1:36, you forget one thing ...this frustrated Nyong'o was kibaki's planning minister.....Read far and wide and see the repercussions if we boycott your stuff, we will continue leaving Anon 1:50 has just told you...To be precise one of the bus company is called Nya Ugenya, the other one i saw was Daima, like he has put it...Na bado...I can see City Hoppa plying Githurai route at the moment why? ....We were just laughing the other day, fare to Umoja/Tena on weekdays is 50/=, weekends 40/=, City Hoppa charges 40 and 30/=...Why is that?
ReplyDeleteCity Hoppa boycotted Ngong road...Si guys in kibera still go home!!!! Nation papers no supermarket is stocking it at the moment in the western part of the country.....The only thing i would have missed would have been fries...I have just been told that Kapsabet produce potatoes en masse that at the moment there are even rotting coz of lack of transport...my friend was moved from kiambu she got a house in south B owned by a luo...This crisis will produce luo/luhya/kale/mijikenda/ogiek entrpreneurs ...I concur with Anon 1:50........Na bado
Thank you Anon @ 1:46 for educating me. Sorry to reveal my ignorance about computer terminologies and symbols. What is IP? what about URL? Please explain in layman's language. You said Kumekucha can see my IP, but can he track and trace me to my computer or telephone line? Finally, why are times indicated at the end of each entry not corresponding to Kenyan time? Kuuliza sio ujinga.
ReplyDeleteNovice
Don't be afraid of the time indicated,it is just and option.
ReplyDeleteOk. IP address-This is the number plate of any message you send from you computer,example lets say u are travelling from Nairobi to Mombassa on a bus,at the destination mombassa if we want to trace back where the bus did come from which just look at the Board infront of the bus saying "I'm from Nairobi".This is the same with all you write its is travelling on the virtual world telling Kumekucha,hey I'm from Kenya and then if kumekacha wants to trace you back it is easy for them coz he knows even your "bus stage".But Kumekucha will not do that.Further more you can confuse kumekucha himself by using Proxy IP,(Instead of having a board saying "I'm from Nairobi" you can put one that is saying "I'm from Kampala") and kumekucha himself will never know where you are posting from.use this and you will understand what I'm talking about,www.hidemyass.com,if you want to understand just holla me at benaney@msn.com.
Taabu,
ReplyDeleteBrilliant article. The sheer arrogance, contempt and tribal supremacy mindset of the Kibaki regime is captured by Lucy's rant about stupid Luos and foolish Merus.
Novice, if u live in buru just go to a public internet cafe in Langatta or westlands and post ur stuff on the blog. If u work for the gava watch that you r not being trailed, and make sure u have someone home who can testify that you were in the house the whole day. (just incase...alibi) Oh and switch of your mobile phone till you are back home.
ReplyDeleteAnan must learn to deal with the primitive nature of the PNU negotiating team and their handlers. They have the cake and wont let go! I think the petty thieves at indusrial area remand prison should also be brought out to "negotiate" with their victims. I have dealt with such primitives. Take them for what they are. Personal pain and discomfort makes them yield. And by the way they have a capacity to endure pain.
ReplyDeleteThis thing of mentioning GEMA in the same sentence as undemocratic makes me sick to my stomach. Can you read Britains Gulags and tell me whether Kikuyu's do not understand the meaning of democracy? When Ntimama was telling kyuks to lie low like envelopes he wasnt told anything, when kyuks were slaughtered like animals in 1992 not a word. Please, first of all Kibaki has never defended kikuyu's he has defended his friends. Secondly, if you think ODM is innocent, ebu ask yourself what innocent party would sit in Karen whilst violence is escalating? Kenya will die, for as long as people keep on throwing accusations. Taabu, as usual you hate on emilio, so please give us something new, coz we know!!! kibaki sucks, deal with it!! Looking at any global statistics, global inequality has increased, and even in countries such as china, disparities have widened. I dont know why people are so hasty to hurl abuse at economic growth when it is known only too well that economic disparities will increase provided there is no investment at a local level. Kenya did not even have the budget to run Nairobi which accounted for 60% of the GDP. probably because of things like corruption and that involves Raila with his interesting oil deals done when he was minster of energy in moi's govt. Kenyans, do not skip some parts of history and take in others, look at every single event and ask yourself whether it is worth going over accusations time and time again when the world leaves us behind. We are a laughing stock, and we must kill that story soon
ReplyDeleteThis thing of mentioning GEMA in the same sentence as undemocratic makes me sick to my stomach. Can you read Britains Gulags and tell me whether Kikuyu's do not understand the meaning of democracy? When Ntimama was telling kyuks to lie low like envelopes he wasnt told anything, when kyuks were slaughtered like animals in 1992 not a word. Please, first of all Kibaki has never defended kikuyu's he has defended his friends. Secondly, if you think ODM is innocent, ebu ask yourself what innocent party would sit in Karen whilst violence is escalating? Kenya will die, for as long as people keep on throwing accusations. Taabu, as usual you hate on emilio, so please give us something new, coz we know!!! kibaki sucks, deal with it!! Looking at any global statistics, global inequality has increased, and even in countries such as china, disparities have widened. I dont know why people are so hasty to hurl abuse at economic growth when it is known only too well that economic disparities will increase provided there is no investment at a local level. Kenya did not even have the budget to run Nairobi which accounted for 60% of the GDP. probably because of things like corruption and that involves Raila with his interesting oil deals done when he was minster of energy in moi's govt. Kenyans, do not skip some parts of history and take in others, look at every single event and ask yourself whether it is worth going over accusations time and time again when the world leaves us behind. We are a laughing stock, and we must kill that story soon
ReplyDeleteKenyans check this Link -Imanyara Part 2 with Lucy
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjaXUER_LoQ
Democracy is...a form of religion; it is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
ReplyDeleteH. L. Mencken