The United States Of Gaddafi

why the King of Kings must lay off the pipe
I think it’s about time we ban the reading of fairy tale story books in Africa. These books are becoming problematic. Do you know why all women dream of a white wedding, the type with flowing white wedding gowns and horse driven chariots? The answer is simple; they read ‘Cinderella’ as little girls. They spend years yearning the kiss from prince charming because of ‘Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs’. I’m yet to figure out what type of books Colonel Muammar Gaddafi read in his early years in Libya but clearly his dream of a United States of Africa must emanate from a spectacular fairy tale.

The ‘King of Kings’ is apparently disappointed by the reception of his vision by African presidents at the AU meeting. I hear he was banging his head on the table in defeat. Now, I’m neither a medical doctor nor a psychiatrist but I advice him to continue banging his head until he wakes up from that nightmare. Who really wants to share a country with the Santomeans? No offense to the proud people of São Tomé and Príncipe.

Well, I must admit that the grandeur of the concept is indeed intoxicating. A unifying currency may encourage African business; but how do you incorporate the Zimbabwean dollar? An African military force may mean peace; but what of Kony and his friends in the thickets of Uganda? An African passport, now that’s a great idea; but how do we trust Nigerians with that document? One president; if its Kibaki, will the rest of Africa stand the rants and antics of the first lady of Africa? And how do we move on if Raila is not appointed prime minister of Africa? Now, outside of being tourist attractions, what do the bush men of the Kalahari bring to the table? And what if Kivuitu chairs the Election Commission of Africa? Ultimately, the biggest obstacle will be determining where to locate the African Central Bank; that alone will ignite warfare across the continent.

I’m not sure what the King of Kings expected from a room full of Musevenis and Mugabes but his passionate call for unity appears genuine even though the fine print in his plan makes him the first president of Africa. Remember this chap is president for life in Libya. How exactly will he enhance democracy? Didn’t he get into power via a coup? And how about his hobby of shooting airplanes from the skies of Scotland? Look, I know people reform but honestly do we want a one-time-terrorist as the African president? Gaddafi may be a man of refurbished character but he must forget ruling Africa from Tripoli. Extending Libyan tentacles (Laico Grand Regency) all over Africa is not enough.

This is what I say. A unified Africa is a great idea touted by the wrong person and at the wrong time. If Gaddafi really sees a possibility here, he should invest his money in unifying communities within each country first. He must come to Kenya to preach unity between the Luo and Kikuyu. He must then visit Sudan and scold his fellow Arabs for shabbily treating the black Dafuris.

Charity begins at home.

Who Advises President Kibaki On Siasa?

Who advices president Kibaki on political issues?

I know many people (like political analyst Mutahi Ngunyi) have asked this question many times. But seriously who is it? What is the name of the twit?

I suspect that the head-strong president who has a reputation for surrounding himself with many advisors whose advice he never takes is making decisions here against the better judgement of his aides. But I could be wrong.

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But honestly what is going on? I mean the man (President Kibaki) keeps dead quiet when he is supossed to speak and show leadership while giving direction... But then now he speaks when it would have been much better to keep quiet. What was that confidence-in-professor Saitoti statement all about? Please tell me somebody because I haven’t the slightest clue.

What the President should have done was to keep quiet and if for some reason he is scared of Prof George Saitoti, he should have used his cell phone and called the man to reassure him that all was well. However by opening his mouth he has send the following clear and unclear messages to Kenyans;

1) There is no unity or united front in his immediate family. Can a man who can’t run his own immediate family run the nation?

2) Why rush to defend George “Goldenberg” Saitoti? Is the President scared of Saitoti? Certainly he has proved that he supports the corrupt and has full confidence in their corrupt way of doing things..

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3) So what was the President telling us about the first lady? That there is a power struggle between him and her as to whose word is final? Or that there is something wrong with her mentally that he cannot control?

4) The President issues very very few statements personally. So the message he was sending forth yesterday was that what he had to say about Prof Saitoti was very very important. Excuse me!!! Really?

5) Usually in politics you do stuff to cause an impact and change things. So what has the president's recorded statement done? What has it changed? Kenyans still know that the succession intrigues are raging and that the preferred choice is obviously Uhuru. If anything the statement has told Kenyans that the President is worried and certainly not in full control. Just as they had feared.

Obviously the president has his own ideas about leadership and how to go about being CEO of The Republic of Kenya Limited, but my humble opinion is that they are not from any known management book. And so far these principals have sunk the country to its' lowest ebb ever. I hate to admit this but if Moi (who never saw the inside of a university, let alone lecturing in one as some people did) was still president today Kenya would be much better off and many of our fellow citizens would still be alive.