Marital rape is a subject that most Kenyan men do not take seriously at all. Yet it is a national crisis that will have to be addressed soon even as it continues to spin out of control.
One unprecedented case filed by a Kenyan woman recently, seems to illustrate the gravity of the situation. The woman who is a seller of designer clothes has asked a Kenyan court to restrain her husband of 24 years from coming anywhere near her and should only appear to have sex with her when it is consensual. The woman has had three children with the serial rapist since their marriage at the AG's chambers in 1983.
The woman goes on to say the latest rape occurred only last week when her husband burst into the house on a Friday after the children had gone to school.
In this particular case the woman says that the husband currently lives with another woman and has a relationship with a third.
One of the big emerging issues these days is the possibility of catching HIV-AIDS from a husband who is not faithful and has several other sexual partners while still insisting on continuing to have sex with their wives. The right of the wife to refuse sex on the ground of suspecting one's husband of philandering is more than a good enough reason. One must bear in mind the fact that especially where children are involved, the wife (who is usually the more responsible person in many Kenyan homes) has a right to protect herself if for nothing else, for the sake of her children.
But even where both partners behave responsibly, rape can and does take place frequently in Kenyan bedrooms. Many Kenyans do not believe that rape can take place on a marriage bed and see sex as the right of the husband to be meekly delivered whenever it is demanded. The same Kenyan men are quick to criticize the Kibaki government for any human rights violations taking place in the country when there is absolutely no regard for the dignity and feelings of the woman in their own homes who is the mother of their children.
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