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Saturday, March 30, 2013

A time to heal

Emotions have been pretty high over the last few weeks. I launched my raw notes in 2008 and all these years I have never received a single angry email. In recent weeks I have received several from both sides of the political divide. From CORD when the info I gave seemed to favour Jubilee and from Jubilee when I publish something that seemed to side with CORD.

Clearly this is the wrong time for any analysis because it will be read by Kenyans asking themselves the question; which side is this guy favoring?

Those who have known me long enough know that I favour Kenya. I am patriotic to the bone and I worry about the future of our great nation. That is what Kumekucha is all about. Even on 4th March I did NOT vote for either Raila or Uhuru.

Indeed it becomes difficult to discuss politics with people who are not familiar with the history of our country and more importantly the biography of old man impunity who is still very much in charge of Kenya. But that is a story for another day.

That is why this post is not about any analysis. It is a cry to all Kenyans of goodwill to make a huge effort towards healing our country. Defeat is terribly devastating, especially when you believe that there was foul play. But we must all make the effort to put the elections behind us and move on.

Jubilee supporters and indeed the Jubilee government must take the lead in reaching out to their crashed brothers and sisters and lifting them up from the dust to console them. Loud celebrations must include CORD folks who are also Kenyans. Indeed if you voted for Uhuru make the effort today to call a CORD person and wish them well.

We must accept the Supreme court ruling and wait for the detailed reasons in 2 weeks time.

My dear brothers and sisters healing must be at the top of our minds now because that is the only place we can start from on Tuesday morning as we return to nation building.

Yes, it is Uhuru

The Supreme court president and chief justice of the republic of Kenya has just read the verdict of the court. It took his just about 10 minutes to read the decisions of the court because the reasons (full ruling) will be given in 14 days as per the requirements of the constitution.

The court has ruled that the election of Uhuru Kenyatta was valid.

This means that Uhuru Kenyatta will now be sworn in as president without hindrance.

The court also ruled that it has no jurisdiction to decide on the issue of whether or not to include rejected votes in the vote tally.

Another more detailed post will follow to analyze the impact of this ruling.

President elect Uhuru Kenyatta will now be sworn in on 9th April.

BREAKING NEWS: Skirmishes with police in Kisumu but contained running battles. No word yet from Kibera.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Uhuru's election valid or not valid? Supreme court retires to decide


Wacha, wacha ma-bosses. Ngoja Supreme Court iamue

A few minutes ago the 6 Supreme court judges retired to write their judgment for a historical case that will be talked about and analyzed for generations to come.

Kumekucha's predictions on the outcome not with standing it is expected that whatever side wins the analysis of the controversial elections will start to flow thick and fast after tomorrow.

It is imperative that Kenyans must first analyze the media which is supposed to the fourth estate but in these elections confirmed that they are nothing more than the press release media. Apart from reproducing press statements word for word and then analyzing them, sometimes the press releases come with cash rewards included in the same envelope to help "oil" the journalists analytical abilities.

There were journalists at Boma and they witnessed the jeering when certain results were announced (long before the final tallying). Nobody has written about that. But I guess it is because that is also hate speech. Writing any truth does that not favour the government side is hate speech and incitement.

It is highly unlikely that you will see any article in the press focusing on the missing fourth estate in these elections. But what you are bound to see a lot of is an analysis of the campaigns. There is no doubt that Jubilee executed an amazing campaign that needs to be studied more closely because fiddling or no fiddling it was one that was hard to beat and that is the truth.

Kenya is holding its' collective breath for tomorrow. Did somebody say it's Easter weekend?

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Why Snake Wanted To Bite Uhuru Kenyatta At Mombasa Church

Some very strange things happened to Presidential candidate Uhuru Kenyatta 
 
To be very honest everything seems to be greatly favouring CORD just now. The Supreme court yesterday ordered the recounting of votes in 22 polling stations. This is very significant because considering the fact that they have such a short time in which to make a ruling (it has to be made by Saturday) the court cannot afford to do anything speculative. Meaning that already something of relevance has been discovered which will be made clear when the recount is complete.

Then there is emerging damning evidence about the IEBC computer system being hosted on the same server as those of TNA and that entries of the presidential results were actually being entered into the system by TNA clerks as they came in. 

Still, there are a number of issues linked to Uhuru Kenyatta that point in the opposite direction and seem to suggest that Kenyans should prepare themselves for a Uhuru presidency whatever happens. Very strange things have been happening since Uhuru’s presidential campaign started. Even if you are not a superstitious person and do not believe in GOD who recognizes the existence of witchcraft, it is hard to argue with a bizarre incident that took place in Mombasa a few days ago. A snake made it’s way through a large church congregation and some of the president elect’s security detail and went straight for Uhuru. It was killed when it was almost about to sink it’s fangs into Uhuru. 
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Reports conflict about how exactly it was killed. Some eyewitnesses claim that it was shot by Uhuru’s bodyguards while the Bishop of the church has an even more bizarre explanation claiming that it was killed by a small boy using a stick and that it was only a “harmless small snake.” The question begs how did the small boy with a stick get so close to the president elect? What was a snake doing in a church? The lady Bishop has an even more out-of-this-world-explanation. She says her church loves nature and is surrounded by all kinds of animals including snakes!!! Her statement to this effect was actually published in the mainstream media.

That snake incident was just a culmination of many other “signs” and “wonders” that have been following Uhuru. Spiritual experts have for instance linked the falling of a Mugumo tree in Nyeri to a Uhuru presidency. Then there was the sensational prophecy by the British pastor who also predicted Kibaki’s ascension to the presidency long before the 2002 general elections. Thomas Manton clearly declared that God had told him that the next president of Kenya, against great odds, was going to be Uhuru.

Most Kenyans think that they know the Jomo Kenyatta story fairly well but actually they don’t. The truth is that Johnstone Kamua (later to be called Jomo Kenyatta) was brought up by the most famous medicine-man in Kenya and beyond in those days called Magana. When Kamau was a nobody orphan struggling to make something out of his life Magana predicted a number of things about his life and his children and generations to follow. One of those predictions looked like it would never come to pass and it is said that Kamau gave up on ever being a great leader as he grew old and instead of being appointed a leader he was arrested and imprisoned for a crime he never committed. Little did he know then that the leadership promised to him by Magana was not too far off in the future. What a story!!

Jubilee die-hards will tell you that history has an uncanny way of repeating itself because Uhuru faced the same predicament in terms of ICC charges for a crime he did not commit shortly before he received his through pass to the presidency. In other words Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta was destined to lead Kenya whatever the odds or obstacles.

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Monday, March 25, 2013

Kenya's National Motto: Let Sleeping Ogres Lie

See also Chris's latest post; Uhuru Kenyatta's Suspect Advisers
Fist things first. Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta is the President-elect and William Samoei Ruto his deputy. To borrow the gay rights' group's advert, get on with it.
Dangling between the dark blue sea and the evil is not something anybody wants upon him/herself. With regards to the IMPERIAL CRIMINAL COURT (ICC) case against their top two elected leaders, Kenyans are better advised to consider themselves as kids of an impaired pair of parents. And here are the grim options about the defective parents:
  • a) Disown them and claim another set,
  • b) Accept and help them deal with their fate,
  • c) Pray to God to remove the defect,
  • d) Act like you were never born,
  • e) None of the above (mint yours).
Kenyans went to political war on March 4 and they got their wish. Let the winners savour the spoils of war and losers lick their political wounds.
But as the maxim goes truth is the first casualty of war. Our war was internal and peaceful, or so it appeared. That elusive pease was/is a product of PEACE COMA. The media suffocated Kenyans with scare narratives laced with the near-Armageddon of 2007/8.
We ashamed both CNN and BBC. We refused to provide Reuters and Getty with pictures of burning houses/churches full of crying children. Foreskins were saved from rusty machetes.
Media's professional surrender albeit with the very best of intentions brought us the artificial peace albeit.
One thing to point out is the fact that Kenyans have the capacity to keep peace, real or otherwise. We painfully and peacefully waited for presidential election results for a whole five days while our fuses snapped after only 72 hours in 2007.
So what has changed? Nothing. The same manual counting of votes in both occasions with even a more complex election this time round.
The verdict is we allowed ourselves to be petrified with fear of the unknown that made IEBC get away with criminal incompetence that costed the Kenyan taxpayer more than KES 10B.
You need no further proof of a divided nation than the social media. If Kibaki betrayed the 2002 revolution, then IEBC botched the transformation wrought by the new constitution.
Kenyans often fervently demand the truth but unfortunately cannot handle it. We allowed terror to infect our national conscience and succeeded in masking our fears.
Congratulation to Kenyans for making the 2013 election an event to ENDURE.

Uhuru Kenyatta's Suspect Advisers


Deputy president elect Ruto has Uhuru's ear but for how long?


Since the beginning of time it has always been recognized that a king is as good as his advisers and wise men who surround him to give shrewd counsel.

On the surface of things President elect Uhuru Kenyatta has much better advisers than outgoing president Mwai Kibaki. However those who know the identity of most of these guys in the shadows would find such a statement odd and untruthful because many of them are exactly the same people who have been on Kibaki’s team (more on that later).

Of special interest are those individuals within the team who are able to predict the future with such uncanny accuracy. You cannot afford to ignore what these “geniuses” are saying because they have always been right thus far. They even predicted Uhuru’s victory in the first round before the voter registration was complete. I of course reveal the identity of these folks in my latest rawnotes and exactly what they are saying this time round.

But even without the benefit of this information the actions of the president elect speak volumes. Some of his rather subtle moves clearly define the future direction of Kenyan politics. (My next post will probably dwell on this subject).

Back to the question of why the president elect seems to have better advisers. Kibaki insiders have noted numerous instances where their spot on advise has been ignored only for I-told-you-so disaster to follow soon after. It is no secret that President Kibaki unlike his predecessor, Moi has always been known to arrogantly brush aside counsel citing his long years of experience in the corridors of power. But times have changed and the old are always the slowest to change with them. That coupled with the Kibaki’s legendary procrastination and fence seating is what makes Uhuru look so good and on top of his game now. Incidentally in sharp contrast Moi would listen to everything and then make his decisions. Another huge advantage Kenya’s second president had was his ability to think quickly on his feet and make swift often unexpected decisions that his detractors labeled roadside declarations. However the interesting thing here is that they were always spot on.

But back to Uhuru and the present. Most analysts just can’t take their eyes off one particular advisor who has made a dramatic come back to the corridors of power. He’s the same age as Uhuru but was Kibaki’s closest confidante at the beginning of his presidency until a scandal and power politics shoved him aside and into oblivion. (You can read all the juicy details about this rather colourful character in my latest raw notes.) What is a major cause of concern is the fact that this individual was right at the centre of the infamous Anglo leasing saga a black mark on the Kibaki presidency that just won’t go away.


This post would be incomplete without special mention of the most influential man closest to the president elect, at least for now. That is William Samoei Ruto the deputy president. No single individual has played a bigger role in getting Uhuru where he is today against seemingly insurmountable odds. It was Ruto who prevailed on Uhuru to ignore the instructions of the “dark forces” who wanted him to step down in favour of Musalia Mudavadi as the presidential candidate for the Jubilee alliance. With this in mind it is extremely instructive to keen observers that it was the same Ruto who strongly resisted the post election alliance deal with Amani (now signed and sealed). The fact that he was over-ruled seems to suggest that it is only a matter of time before Ruto loses his influence with Uhuru. If this happens it will be nothing new because his father Jomo Kenyatta was in exactly the same position in 1963 where he greatly trusted and valued the counsel of his then Vice President Jaramogi Oginga Odinga. They went everywhere together just as Uhuru and Ruto are doing currently. Admittedly the huge difference this time round is that Uhuru has no power to dismiss his deputy, whatever happens. But then you do not need to dismiss your deputy to make them irrelevant do you?

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Odinga Curse?


Raila Odinga

Legend has it that the late Jaramogi Oginga Odinga begged then President Moi to be allowed to be president just for a day.

That story is NOT true. Just part of the persistent propaganda onslaught designed to completely neutralize any political clout that our beloved Luo brethren may ever have amongst their fellow Kenyans. When historians finally sit down to analyze this community they will have to acknowledge the many years when they have been the only opposition (albeit ineffective) to the rise of impunity and bad, selfish get-rich-quick-governance in Kenya.

But those who are superstitious never lose an opportunity to point to a fascinating incident that took place in the early sixties that had such a huge impact on the future of Kenya and her politics. The Luo community was bang in the middle of it.

Even those of us who do not believe in such mambo jumbo cannot help but sit up and pay attention to this tale and wonder if there is something to it. After all Raila Odinga won the presidential elections convincingly in 2007 but never moved into State house. Instead he could only play second fiddle in what was supposed to be a power sharing arrangement. Surely even if you do not believe in curses there has to be something going on when a person wins the presidency but circumstances develop that make it impossible for them to get justice let alone take over the reigns of power. And even now based on the information I have it is unlikely that Raila will ascend to the presidency. My deep and sincere apologies to those who are CORDed and reading this but my readers expect me to say things without fear or favour.

And so the question Kenyans need to ask themselves is what will Raila do if the Supreme court ruling does not favour him? What new role in politics can this great champion of democracy who has fought so much for justice in our country find?

What actually happened in the early 60s? I discuss that tale of deceit amid a fierce struggle for power in my latest raw notes and give an indication of the impact it will have in the landmark Supreme court ruling that Kenyans are holding their collective breaths for.

For the sake of the process of healing in Kenya it would be nice if a fresh new presidential candidate from the community offered themselves for the presidency in 2018 and had realistic chances of winning. 2018 may seem like it is a very long time to come, but how times fly.

Interestingly looking around from where I sit, that man may be one Evans Kidero, the governor elect of Nairobi County. Regular readers of my raw notes will know that there is a lot I don’t like about the man and with good reason (not malicious or personal). But I am also a realist and looking at how swiftly the man has adjusted from the corporate world into politics, I have to be impressed. Kidero was already doing things like getting running water (using his own funds to buy the pipes) for some city residents even as his competitors were on the campaign trail vomiting empty words and promises. It is rather obvious that his political future is bright and Nairobians should prepare for the kind of county government that they can be truly proud of.

Don’t make me eat my words Bwana Governor.

Friday, March 15, 2013

ICC Made President Uhuru, West Drives us China

By KK Blogger

President-elect Uhuru Kenyatta II's administration is on a roll. And what a turnaround for the ICC yoke that was cleverly transformed into political jet fuel. Add that to the West's moody response to Uhuru's presidency which is unwitting handing over Kenya to the Chinese.

The word in the streets and on many people's lips is that the Chinese will or may dutifully fill the void left behind by the Americans, British and other European establishments, yes and not really.

While the March 4th, 2013 general election may just have been completed, Kenyans should not throw caution to the wind but be very wise enough not be carried away by their next course of action.

It is therefore incumbent upon winners, losers and their various supporters to heed the ancient warning that is still relevant to our country's specific sociopolitical and economic situations: Fear the Chinese, even those bearing gifts of infrastructure development on a massive scale, cheap affordable goods, and promises of unaccountable shippments of tons and tons of contraband.

Simply put,there is ain't no such thing as a free lunch, especially bowls of warm and cozy noodle soup from the Chinese government, corporations, businessmen, individuals, and common street vendors.

Red dragon loans

Lest we forget, there is always a very hefty hidden cost involved when dealing with Chinese government and Chinese merchants of the so-called affordable goods and services, and where very few or zero questions are asked.

Most of the recent gunshot partnerships - that being fronted as corporations between equal partners - involving China and African countries like Kenya, the type that do not have well defined and real in-built legal checks and balances, may come back to haunt the unsuspecting recipients, or gullible African political leaders.

Further, the real premium attached to doing business with China may end up costing many African nations, including Kenya, a lot more they seem to have alredy bargain for in the first place.

For instance, the sovereignty of the African countries involved in business with China may end up being compromised and in worst case scenarios, held hostage in form of billions and billions of 'run-away dragon loans' and massive debts that may take up to four to five decades in order to be repaid by the next generations of Africans.

So, Kenyan political leaders and the concerned citizenry, beware of the modern day Chinese Greeks bearing tantalizing business deals, contracts, aid, easy solutions and gifts that may sem handy at the moment.

Ole wetu and the next three to four generations, if we don not pay necessary attention as a people and nation.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Movie Premiere: Uhuru Scare ICC, Muthaura Free

Poor ICC chief prosecutor has been hit in the face with by full force of raw power. Even before President-Elect Uhuru Kenyatta recovered from his victory celebrations Fatour Bensouda has thrown in the towel by dropping charges against Mr Muthaura.

Her reasons for acquitting Muthaura betray her fears of the new president. The excuse that several people who may have provided important evidence have died is a real excuse walking on stilts.

Add that to Fatou's claim that other witnesses are too afraid to testify for the prosecution. If they were afraid before last week then they will be PETRIFIED with Jomo Junior as the CEO calling the shots from the seat his dad used to occupy while flogging ministers

Game changer

Desperate Bensouda laments about being disappointed by Kenya's government failure to provide her with important evidence. That must be superlative naivety to expect a convict to shoot himself in booth feet.

Just like that Turbo farmer Muteshi forgetting suing the CRYING-WITH-JOY Deputy President William Ruto over a mere 100 acres of land, ICC must forget entertaining the lie that Uhuru can facilitate access to witnesses.

The key witness Kabutu made his corn and relocated. The same guy was central to Uhuru's indictment so game over. All that whining about witness number 4 recanting his evidence and admitting taking bribes is academics meant for researchers.

Oh and what a fat empty threat by Fatou's threat that dropping Muthaura's case today is based only on the specific facts of the case against Mr Muthaura, and not on any other consideration.

Damn the west, they can go hung collectively and separately. China will dutifully fill the void.

Kenyans made their choice and are ready to lie on the bed they made.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Uhuru is President, Raila Better Concedes Lest...

By KK Blogger

The tyranny of numbers came to pass and we have president-elect Uhuru Kenyatta. Raila is better advised to hung his political gloves to save himself from further embarassment.

Kenyans have decided and they have have Uhuru Kenyatta as their 4th president. It is both a new dawn littered with challenges.

But hey, democracy comes with a price and the Kenyan voter damned the consequences and made the bed they must now lie on.

Raila might win the court case, but badly lose in the subsequent election. But since he will be suing the IEBC, the judges can not give him the presidency. He must go for another election. How then does he expect the same IEBC that he has sued for inefficiency to do a better job within 60 days?

The new election may be even more poorly managed by IEBC because it will not get enough funds in time, the electronics that went dead may not be repaired in time and those he claims shut the gadgets can still do it again. He was behind Uhuru by over 800,000 votes. If the court rules another election, the smaller candidates, other fringe candidates like Dida and Mudavadi may not want to vie again. It will be Raila and Uhuru.

Uthamaki ni wa cioka

Now many people who voted for him will not see the need of voting again because they know the 800k gap cannot be bridged, even if he is given all the other non-Jubilee votes on a silver platter. People are fatigued and voter turn out will be low-and he stands to suffer more from this than Jubilee.

Raila's former sponsors and supporters may not be ready to do so again. Many of his supporters who vied for various elective posts and lost will not see the need of spending an extra penny campaigning for him. Those who have been elected will not see the need to spend any more money campaigning for him.

Raila will not effectively monitor all the polling stations and this can give the opponents opportunity to cook figures. The best thing.....concede defeat and avoid an embarrassing exit. I for one voted for him, but I am resigned to the fact that we must move on. I stood on a line for 8 hours to vote and I have wasted a whole week doing nothing. I am not ready to repeat this cycle again. I will NOT vote for him. And we are many.

Make no mistake, Raila's move to the court is the right thing and he has the right to do so. It's just that I AM TIRED AND I MUST MOVE ON. Just like he agreed to work with nusu mkate, I have also agreed to move on with the way things have turned out.

Friday, March 08, 2013

Uhuru Kenyatta wins presidency... BUT


Uhuru Kenyatta is set to become the fourth president of Kenya in an election that smirked of too many similarities to the bungled 2007 presidential elections. But if you are a Jubilee coalition supporter hold off your order for that cold Tusker and don’t even think of putting those goat ribs over a charcoal fire just yet because there are too many uncertainties that still linger in the air.

In a previous post I had already pointed out many of the question marks that have to be scribbled at the end of most paragraphs recording the major events of the last five days. Yep it was only five short days but why is it that to many Kenyans it seemed like an eternity?

When those who like to analyze how presidential campaigns are won sit down to figure out how the son of Jomo did it, one name will have to feature prominently. That of William Ruto, his running mate (pictured above, on your right, with Uhuru) and now deputy president-elect. Those who know this man who barely 20 years ago used to hang out at “jobless corner” (a hangout for hungry frustrated job seekers that is opposite the Hilton hotel in Nairobi) will tell you that he is a crafty political player who is not even trusted by the supporters of the president elect. How he even successfully put together the two main warring tribes in the 2007 elections together still baffles many. This blogger predicted many times that the alliance would not hold and that he would never deliver Kalenjin votes with the wounds of the last elections still unhealed. But not only has it held together but it has managed to win Uhuru a mind boggling share of the massive Rift Valley vote against all expectations.

It would have been nice to have had a non-controversial credible election to see how this contest would have really turned out. As it is we will never know because whatever happens next the circumstances have changed drastically and forever.

One of the most fascinating aspects to come out of this election is the reaction of many people in Nyanza to the results. Many are blaming Raila for not having a clear strategy in his entire campaign and repeated references are being made to the CORD nominations which went badly wrong in Nyanza with what most people saw as a deliberate attempt to try and force candidates on them.

However observant political analysts will sympathize with Raila who has been on almost permanent campaign mode since 2002 and probably earlier. Fatigue and exhaustion were clearly visible in him during the campaigns and there is no doubt that this greatly affected his bid this time round. In many public meetings his voice sounded hoarse and tired and he even babbled at times and fell asleep in clear sight of the cameras at one church function. This was in sharp contrast to Uhuru who appeared much more energetic, sharper and eloquent in his delivery.

The big question now is what happens next. Regular readers of my raw notes will know that several times in the past 4 month or so I gave the unfolding scenario as the most likely outcome of these elections. Just like I did for the 2007 general elections. I am currently focusing on plenty of interesting developments (some alarming) that could emerge out of the current mess we find ourselves in as a country and you can read them all HERE. My heart goes out to all those ordinary Kenyans whose lives have already been badly affected by these elections because business has been down with all the tension. Some of them rely on their daily earnings to put food on the table and have therefore gone hungry in recent days. I hate to imagine what will happen to them in the days to come as the situation in Kenya becomes even more tense with court cases and allegations of rigging.

Do remember to say a prayer for the motherland.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Kenya’s peaceful there-is-no-problem elections…

…Only challenges that have been overcome

Endebess constituency deputy returning officer opening the briefcase containing the disputed results at the OCPD office, Kitale. In this particular criminal case, one of the major presidential candidates had been given 61,000 votes against a total of 29,000 registered voters for Endebess constituency.

The returning officer was arrested yesterday. However, the police aided her escape at 4am this morning. The RO has since gone underground.

Get more details HERE 

There are many instances yesterday and today when I have had déjà vu moments and imagined myself back in 2008.

You will remember that year when Kenya was burning with thousands (the official government figures stubbornly remained in the hundreds) of innocent people killed, raped and injured African leaders rushed to Nairobi to try and help. When they arrived the official government position was that these busy people had come to Kenya to have a cup of tea. Yep. That’s all. There was really no problem and things were super fine in Kenya.

Flash forward to March 2013 and there is really no problem in Kenya, is there? Apart from a few sore losers complaining when they have sensed defeat early.

Sample the following;

•    A deliberate concerted effort was made to ensure that the presidential results were tallied and announced first to avoid the tension that build up in 2008. And yet on this Thursday evening after Kenyans voted, most results for governors, senators etc are out but the presidential ones are still not. Maybe tomorrow or perhaps Monday if the worst comes to the worst. But hey there is no problem in Kenya that is within the law (stipulates that results must be released within 7 days) and we love peace and those minor “challenges” are not things you point out when you want to maintain the peace.

•    There are a handful of constituencies countrywide where the votes cast were more than the registered voters. Take the ongoing case of Endebes (see picture), 61,000 votes on favour of one presidential candidate were discovered. The returning officer was arrested yesterday but disappeared from police custody in the early hours of this morning. But hey I must have missed the fact that those Endebes votes were NOT counted in the final tally so there is really no problem with the Kenya elections.

•    One of the leading coalitions submitted a protest in writing citing several grounds and duly signed to the IEBC with but this evening the IEBC chairman had a press conference and said that he had NOT received any complaints reminding those with issues to put it in writing. So there is really no problem with the Kenya elections we love peace and we do not need any hate speech to disturb the peace.

•    The results that were beamed to Kenyans since Monday evening which this blogger fell for and even started looking for reasons as to why one of the candidates was suddenly so surprisingly popular (I speculated that he had really endeared himself to the youth) were quietly abandoned after what the IEBC chairman told Kenyans was a technical hitch with the servers. Those results, several eagle-eyed Kenyans noticed were a statistical impossibility. How does one of the candidates totals increase progressively by an exact percentage, consistently and constantly between the 600,000 mark up to the 2.7 million mark? But hey, sh** happens and there is always a first in human history. After all there was a time dangerously recently) when people were convinced that mechanical flight by humans was impossible. What is a statistical impossibility compared to that? And so there is absolutely no problem with the Kenyan elections.

•    Almost 300,000 was the number of rejected votes when the IEBC was using the electronic tallying system as the votes counted hit the 5million mark, a BIG number. But when IEBC switched to a manual tallying system the total number of rejected votes was 39000 at the 4.6million mark. Where did all those spoilt votes go? Some enemies of peace in Kenya claim that the final tally of rejected votes compared to the electronic reports is more proof that a virus was indeed manipulating the rejected votes tally. But the IBEC chairman has assured Kenyans that the story of hacking and viruses is NOT true. “Rumours” he called them and we believe him and that is why you need to know that there is no problem with the Kenyan elections. What problem?

•    There is a major blackout on any substantial news on the elections in Kenya. What we are getting on our TV sets are just results and more results. Including the kind of statistical results that others would laugh at us for swallowing hook line and sinker without noting anything amiss. But that is exactly what peace loving Kenyans want. And so this blogger joins millions of others Kenyans to tell the whole world including Kenyans scattered in every corner of the globe that there is absolutely NO problem with the Kenyan elections. Despite all these points which are the work of an inciter (who else would use their brain to think about such things when they know how Kenyans slaughtered each other in 2008) I again emphasize for the umpteenth time that there is no problem in Kenya and certainly there is no problem with our super free and super fair elections. Just ignore sore losers whose sell by date has arrived and they are yet to realize.

Yes, this was penned by Kumekucha himself, and NO you are not reading the wrong blog. And NO he was NOT paid by any of the presidential candidates. If you think that Kumekucha sounded scared writing this post, you might just be right and you might want to read what he has to say about this issue privately when he is not scared.

Political Obituary 2013: Complete Revised Edition

By KK Blogger

As Kenyans painfully and anxiously wait to see who between Uhuru or Raila is send down crashing, the voters have not disappointed by once again embarrassing notable political faces in the five-year ritual.

While some of us are still waiting for the Uhuru Shocker to sink in or evaporate, whichever comes first, the following towering political giants have a lot in common courtesy of the electorate.

So-called seasoned political heavyweights lost both their mass and pedigree. Here is a short list of the voters obituary so far:

Octagarians William Ntimama and Henry Kosgey: wise men who should have figured out when to let the younger generation take over the chase in the latest hunt in his own backyards.

Charity Ngilu, a presidential contender that never was to begin with, and known to blame her former political rivals for everything that seemed to go wrong in her malfunctioned camp.

Ali Chirau Mwakwere, the self-proclaimed whale that survived the last beaching but went on and mistook an artificial lagoon for the barrier reefs, where he ended up being swallowed by a talented homegrown catfish.

Gitobu Imanyara, ended up accepting the fact that being forced to face Mt. Kenya was not a bad idea after all, despite of the great odds and bright sunrays that have continued to melt ice from most peaks.

Samuel Poghisio, thought he had it cushioned and made for another ten years, but was unaware that the county grazing grounds were far large and diverse than those in his former constituency. What did him in and hastened his demise was the fact he had failed to he needed to make sure that people who don't own planes or rent helicopters, deserve to have better rural access roads and bridges, among other very basic services in the last ten years.

Chris Okemo, swallowed more ngenge that he could chew, given his pending legal problems and pressures derived form fears of being extradited to a foreign court system to face justice.

Cyrus Jirongo, a man with the largest war chest worth billions shillings could not manage to convince his people to help him take one of the regional bull fighter by the horns.

Nicholas Biwott, fails to understand that his region, people and rest of the country has made great strides since 1992 and 2002, one of the reasons he will now be remembered as 'a man who got totaled at the polls' when he least expected it.

Mukhisa Kituyi, is man known to have come from far, don't forget to check out a 1989 photo of him taken at Hillcrest Hotel, at a time when was still working for ACTION AID. He should have known better and avoided wrangling it out with a formidable opponent like Musa Wetangula.

Musikari Kombo, was best suited for the elders' council but refused to join his villagers and clansmen due to lack of humility. He still views himself as a king and champion who helped win the political battles that were fought during the early-mid 1990s. Very few of his own trusted people are still afraid of reminding him that he considered as a man whose time evaporated long time ago.

Chris Murungaru, there is very little to talk about the man because the latest humiliating defeat at the polls speaks volumes.

Amos Kimunya, seem to have never gotten the memo that "he must go" and stay away from active politics forever. The bullfighter had tried to gore him several years ago but the establishment prevailed by helping him retain his portfolio at the time.

The list goes on where many more political giants have either bitten the dust or are in the process of be floored by newcomers whose names were relatively unknown two years ago.

Stay tuned as more prominent motor-mouths kiss the political dust.

Monday, March 04, 2013

Uhuru shocker: Prepare for president Uhuru Kenyatta

In all my 20 years of political analysis, even I was not prepared for what is unfolding before our very eyes.

I have just finished carefully analyzing the provisional results streaming in from the IEBC and coming from a cross section of polling stations across the country. They tell a shocking story. Not only will Uhuru win the presidency in the first round but he is set to do it with a resounding victory that should give him close to 60 per cent of the vote (or even more, according to my calculations).

Any serious political pollster will tell you that the polling stations announced so far are similar to a massive and more accurate poll (because of the numbers). Remember that a poll of even 1,500 for a population of 200 million will still give you very accurate results.

Kenyans now need to prepare themselves for the consequences of a Uhuru presidency which will include a cold shoulder from the West and possibly sanctions. However the good news is that the baton of leadership has finally been passed on to a new younger generation of leaders which can only be good news for long suffering Kenyans.

Political analysts will want to carefully study how the son of Jomo did it. The answers will have to start from a man called William Ruto, master strategist and the real brains behind the successful Uhuru campaign. Ruto defied all odds and kept the bid alive against considerable pressure and odds which I will discuss here in the days to come as the results become official and more clearer to Kenyans. If Ruto is allowed to remain the real political brains behind the Uhuru administration then this is going to be one formidable presidency with a fighting chance of being equal to task and the huge challenges that lay ahead, including a looming date with the ICC at the Hague.

The Jubilee campaign seems to have successfully positioned itself as the young new fresh beginning the nation needs against the old and tired CORD leadership of much older candidates for President and Vice President. The result seems to have been a massive following from the young people of Kenya (many of them voting for the first time) who for better or worse have spoken rather emphatically at the ballot. There is no denying that the bid was helped all along by the massive Kikuyu and Mount Kenya voting bloc of zombies.

Wow.

What Kenyans must now do is to try and leave the elections and all the emotions involved with it behind them and rally behind the new administration to find the best way to use this opportunity to speed up true institutional reforms in the country.

Finally Here Comes the Tyranny of Real Numbers

The candidates have done their part. They have hawked their manifestoes. They have peddled their values and virtues. They have cajoled us and shoved each other. They have danced themselves lame.

Well, their time is over. It is now the time for the real opinion poll. The Kenyan voter must now make an appointment with his/her political destiny.

The candidates may have generated plenty of heat. But the campaigns have been relatively very peaceful. Kenya appears to have learned the bitter lessons from the 2007/8 near-Armageddon.

Seeing all the candidates commit themselves to peace and honour the outcome was a giant step to political maturity. While our smelly past may make many conjure up conspiracy theories, hope remains our best asset. Only fools would lead Kenya to another cesspit.

There comes a time when the late Saitoti's clarion call of Kenya being bigger than all of us is most apt. Come Tuesday and Kenya will still be there for both the losers and winners.

The real revolution of 2002 may have been betrayed. Kibaki did his part. Now let the 4thn President pick the gaunlet and take Kenya to where we belong.

It is time for the Kenyan voter shine the light of democracy and run away with it. Come on Kenya, make yourself proud and join the society of civilized nations.