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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Are You A Tribalist? Take this test and find out for sure

The Kenyan Tribal Test
Are You A Tribalist? Here is a quick test to help you find out for sure…

(a) At the sight of this article headline, you sigh and wonder why this blogger just keeps on bringing up this boring topic of tribalism and why he keeps on insisting that it is the major issue in Kenya today while you know every well it is not. You don't need a psychologist to tell you that every time you hit a raw nerve or you start getting touchy, iko kitu.

(b) What is the tribe of your spouse? Did you fall in love with somebody else first (of a different tribe) but chose to marry your current spouse because "it was the wise thing to do?"

(c) Even worse, are you married to a member of another tribe but view the marriage as temporary and look at your children as belonging to a different tribe from yourself? Do you frequently make comments of your children like; "you certainly did not pick up that habit from our people."

My first wife was a Kikuyu and in the first few years of our marriage her friends used to greet her with the remarks, "Are you still with that Man?"

(d) Do you get a warm comfortable feeling whenever you see on TV or read about a presidential candidate hailing from your tribe?

(e) Do you get abusive to this blogger over his comments on tribalism in Kenya?

(f) When you meet a person for the first time, do you subconsciously reserve your judgement until you find out what tribe they are? The way to tell this is when the first question you really want to ask every time, is what tribe they are, but instead you ask leading questions like, how do you spell your second name? Or "who do you think should be the next president?"

(g) Do you remain unmoved when Kenya wins yet another 3,000 metres steeplechase race, just because the winner reminds you of Moi's tenure as president? The facts are that no tribe has brought more positive international glory to Kenya than the runners who mostly hail from the Kalenjin tribe. 

(h) Are you one of those people who made a certain tribal radio station an overnight success? Are you one of the people who saw red when it looked like President Moi was about to ban that particular radio station?

(i) Do you always look at the national soccer side selections in terms of which tribe has the majority of players?

(j) Do you feel irritated whenever you hear a certain tribal language being used in your presence or within ear shot?

(k) Do you believe that some tribes are more corrupt than others?

(l) Do you always love to talk your mother tongue at the least excuse?

(m) Do you use your mother tongue to gossip about people even when they are within hearing range?

(n) Do you get a warm fuzzy feeling every time somebody talks to you in your mother tongue?

(o) Do you insist on conversing in your mother tongue even when you know that there are several people in your company or around you who do not understand it? It matters little that you take the trouble to translate what you have said later.

(p) Look at your email in box now. Is most of the mail you receive from members of a particular tribe? Could that tribe happen to be the same tribe that your mother and father belong to?

(q) Do you always visit a certain web site that bears the name of your tribe?

(r) Or even worse, does your email address contain the name of your tribe somewhere?

If you have answered all these questions honestly, and have answered at least 50% of the questions (9 of them) with a "NO" then there is hope for you and I want to give you a free gift to encourage you to shed every element of tribalism in you and those close to you. To claim your FREE gift send an email now to;

If you have answered all the questions "NO" then you are a true non-tribalist patriot and no reward can be good enough for you. You are amongst the very few in our banana republic that the country needs very, very badly just now. Kudos and please let's join hands to make a difference in our country.


Anonymous said...

Liking your tribe or race is not bad but looking down upon the others or or employing or voting only your own tribe without weighing the real issues is bad.

A national figure taking only businees men from his tribe to an official visit to Capetown clearly is a tribalist.

A cabinet consisting of 40% one community is tribalistic.

What Butere Girls played will one day come to haunt this country. Yugoslavia used also to be like that.

Dave Caburya said...

Wat many people lack is understanding of very simple facts...the national figure ur talking about here is the president.The people that accompanied the president to Capetown had that previlege not because of their tribe,bt they did so because they hold public offices which require them to do so.

Anonymous said...

While we take silly tests and implement the over-bloated constitution, this article should tell us what is really happening:

UK firms ship out Sh20bn in dividends and fees from Kenya

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