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Thursday, March 29, 2012

No Tribalism In Kenyans Slums Plus White Woman With Black Children Saga

By M-Pesa

When was the last time you left your big air conditioned office and ventured deep in the slums of Korogocho, Mathare or Kibera?

Here you will find that most inhabitants are actually Kikuyus and Luos and of course a substantial number from other tribes. These people have intermarried deeply, play, laugh, joke, trade and drink together. They even borrow salt from the neighbour when they run short while cooking. Many young people here actually don't even know the tribes of their mates (and they have no interest in knowing). But come elections and through those dirty politicians and their provocative speeches that incite "kabila adui.." as well as distribution of cash will suddenly cause "tribal clashes."
The truth is that Kenyans are generally peace loving people who just want to be left alone to feed their families- that's all that matters to them. Many Kenyans from various tribes have settled all over the land- from Kambas at the coast to Luhyas and Luos working in the coffee plantations and factories in Thika- to the Mkisii in Kitengela. I think the biggest problem is IMPUNITY where leaders like William "chop off their fingers" Ntimama will incite and get away with it scot free.

I also think ordinary Kenyans can partly be blamed for allowing themselves to be brainwashed. We must ignore these tribal rallies.

Mystery of Faithful White French Woman Who Gave Birth To Black Children

A young French woman living in Australia, and dating an African of South African descent, whom she met while they were college students in Queensland, asks her boyfriend, what ethnic background are you anyway?

The African boyfriend hesitates for a moment before replying, of course I am South African from Transvaal. Can't you see the obvious? And why do you ask after we have been dating for over seven months"

The young French woman replies, I am two and half months pregnant, and I just want to know more about your other side of the family.

The African boyfriend replies, what side? Eeeeh! There is nothing for you to worry about at all. I guarantee there won't be any little nasty surprises for you when the baby arrives.

The young French women remarks, what do you really mean by 'there won't be any little nasty surprises' for me?

Her African boyfriend reassures her by saying, my family's old blood lines are as pure as they have been since the arrival of our forefathers in South Africa during the 17th century.

The rest as they say is history that's very predictable in some critical situations.

The young French mother was deserted by her African boyfriend after giving birth to healthy cute looking twin sons.

What caused the desertion? Well, her African boyfriend accused her of having been unfaithful to him, and even went on to castigate her for having withheld critical information about her allegedly North African (Algerian) ancestry from him, when they first met, and which would have been a vital determinant of any slight chance of his involvement with her.

Unbeknown to her now former African boyfriend, Most Afrikaner families have between 5% and 7% non-white ancestry, such as Khoi African, Indonesian and Indian, as the early Dutch settlement at the Cape allowed inter-racial marriage. 

- Mordechai Tamarkin. Cecil Rhodes and the Cape Afrikaners. 

In Kumekucha's latest raw notes he gains access to a secret dossier of what big wig politicians are spending cash on in relation to the forthcoming presidential elections and one payee name attracts his attention considerably. Get FREE samples of my  my controversial raw notes NOW!!

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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Even The Most Diehard Tribalist in Kenya Has Blood That They Hate

I acknowledge that many of the good folks who leave comments in this blog are smarter than I am. And so I will be regularly re-posting some of the best comments from each post I make to highlight the words of wisdom from many commentators here and give them more visibility.
-Chris Kumekucha-

- By Mwarangethe-
Anyone who has spent a few hours reading history will tell you this:

- THERE IS NO PURE TRIBE or RACE.

As a matter of fact, there is no pure Gikuyu/Gema and no pure Mzungu.

People have all kinds of blood in them from past ages. Even the most die hard racist has all of blood he "hates."

As such, to think that, people are tribalists or racist because they have pure blood is not true and is not even the issue.

Even if you wiped all tribes, men would reconstitute these "tribes" under many schemes like:

- religion,
- class,
- color,
- nobles and knights,
- language,
- exclusive clubs,
- secret societies,
- football clubs (AFC v Gor Mahia), Manchester V Arsenal, Celtic v....
- families (House of, v House of ...etc etc.

Men are what they are. They are what they are because, this world is COMPETITION.

This being so, those who ARE WISE, know that, you cannot win alone. As such, you COMBINE with others who share somethings with you, be it in terms of religion (Ireland as an example), language, culture, families, clans, football clubs, etc, to win the competition.

More so, man being what he is, when his NATURAL ASSOCIATIONS like clans, tribes, families are BROKEN by violent means, as happened in Kenya, men will eventually, go back to those NATURAL ASSOCIATIONS whether you like it or not.

In fact, this is exactly what is happening in Kenya right now. The only question is:

- shall we be wise enough to handle the reversion to old associations in a mature manner or,

- we shall be foolish to use force to cement the broken egg?

NB: Have you see what is happening in Mombasa?

In Somalia, when the colonial State broke down into NATURAL ASSOCIATIONS of Somalis (clans), instead of them accepting that fact, and use the FEDERATIVE principle, some of the clans schemed how to put all the clans back into one tyrannical bottle again. The consequence? 20 years of war.

NB: In Libya, it shall also, break up into its ancient states/elements dating to the Roman times. And, if some of them try to put the egg back, there will be violence.

NB: Check Iraq, Congo, Sudan, Yugoslavia, USSR, India etc.

We may even add, check France (Basque), Spain (Catalan), Texas (USA), Canada (Quebec) and even Italy south and North divide.

It may take time, but, the egg will fall apart sooner or later. Things are what they are, or, It is the Nature of Things.

NB: Within these clans, families and tribes, there is also, fierce competition going on.

This being the ESTABLISHED historical evidence since the STONE AGE, the BEST we can do is:

- adopt a FEDERATIVE PRINCIPLE in "uniting" these tribes and stop using force. If some want to leave, let them leave.

For instance, the Kikuyu's alone are more than Danish and Swedish population, so, they can form their state called:

- Mungiki United State of Nyumba Ya Mumbi, if they want.

Finally, Chris, can you tell us this:

- What will a Gikuyu gain by voting a Luo into presidency because, presidency is not a flower girl thing?

Sunday, March 25, 2012

These Stupid Luos

If you played God over Kenya for just a single day you would laugh until your poor ribs ached. You would laugh at the sheer stupidity of this cancer called tribalism.

Now as God for just a day, you would be able to read minds and know exactly what people were thinking. You would be able to see exactly how many assassins were at the scene when Tom Mboya was assassinated and solve the mystery of who exactly the bald-headed man who pulled the trigger was. You would no all secrets and be familiar with all skeletons hidden in people's closets.

But the hilarious part would involve this Kikuyu chauvinist very proud of his tribe and who totally believes that the Kikuyu are superior and the only tribe capable of ruling Kenya as they have proved twice already. Hata serikali ya Moi ilisimama na bahati, no other tribe is capable of establishing and maintaining a government and that is just a pure fact, according to our friend.

Now why would a typical Kikuyu tribalist interest God? Patience, my son, patience my daughter. You will discover the hilarious truth in a moment.

As God for 24 hours you will also be able to see all the sins against the Luo community that our bigot Kikuyu extremist has committed over the years. What he did at campus and what he did at Naivasha during the post election violence. You will also see that he has no apologies to make.

Now let us call this guy Njoro (short for Njoroge). The name of his mother is Jemima Wairimu Chege and his father is called John Kamau Ngotho. And so he is pure Kikuyu “superior” blood… or is he?

As God you would be able to see what happened some 30 years ago when a civil servant called Jemima Wairimu Chege was sent out of town on an assignment. There was a seminar in Embu town that she attended. You would also know that she spent the night in Embu where she got rather cozy with a Mr Moses Waga. A tall drop-dead handsome Luo from the office who always wore a suit. He was also a very charming man with the ladies and invited Jemima Wairimu for a drink that evening. Jemima’s life back home with her husband was always so boring. He never took her out for a drink or anything but John Kamau Ngotho was a good provider and responsible husband and that is all that mattered.

Now in your position up there you would be able to see a lot of things as you delve into this critical history. You would for instance be able to realize just how true it is that alcohol tends to affect the legs of woman and the brains of man. It causes a woman’s legs to spread very easily and with abandon (need I say more?). And it causes a man’s brain to shift momentarily from his head to the lower parts of his anatomy. That combination is deadly and it is what led to the conception of a man called Njoro.

As God you would be able to laugh at this silly tribalism thing in small-minded Kenyans because the fact of the matter is that the rabid Kikuyu bigot called Njoro who loves to call Luos stupid is actually a Luo who thinks he is a Kikuyu. His biological father is one Moses Waga from Gem, deep in Luo Nyanza.

So who is he really insulting every time he opens his mouth and calls Luo’s stupid?

Get rid of those tribalism demons mate, even your mother may not be so sure what tribe you really are… so why should tribe matter so much?

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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Can You Tell When You Are Being Cheated?

I find it necessary to state a few hard facts before I unleash this extremely sensitive post.

My children whom I love to bits have Kikuyu blood flowing through their veins. In other words I have close Kikuyu relatives.

I analyzed my top 5 best friends last night and they are ALL Kikuyu. Every single one of them. Including a very close female friend.
Although I was born in Kisumu (just because my parents happen to be travelling through and I couldn’t wait to come into this world) I am NOT a LUO. And neither do I support Raila Odinga. I believe he won the 2007 polls as do most political analysts the world over and as do most Kenyans who can analyze the situation through non-tribal lenses.

HOWEVER I DO NOT believe that most Kenyans will vote for Raila this time round. Sadly he has passed his sell-by-date.

On to the subject of this post which is my deep concern about the unfolding political games being played out that will achieve certain selfish objectives and at the same time leave me and you fighting each other in the belief that one of us started it when we are nothing but pawns being used in a chess game that has very little or nothing to do with us.

In the run up to the 2007 general elections President Mwai Kibaki realized that he was extremely unpopular. The 5 years had flown by way too fast for him and yes he had promised he would be a one term president but then political promises are always made to be broken. His advantage was that the Kikuyu people have numbers and if he extended to the other GEMA tribes we are talking millions of votes. All he needed to do, his handlers told him, was to position himself as a victim disliked and hated because of his tribe.

That was the message that went out to our precious Kenyan brothers. That Kenyans led by Raila Odinga and the Luos were against the Kikuyu and the plan was to “finish” the Kikuyu (whatever that means). A vast majority of Kenyans were against the Kibaki administration in 2007 and were keen to vote it out. But during the campaigns politicians in central province told the people that the community was under siege. We all know what happened.

Now fast forward to 2012 and what is the message being packaged and sold to us? It is simply this, that Kikuyus and Kalenjins are under siege. The Luo and other tribes want to finish these two communities by taking them to the ICC at the Hague where they will be found guilty and sent to jail. Reason? To keep them from winning the presidency.

I get amazed when very highly educated Kenyans write emails to me telling me what I have just said a most in as many words. I am being branded an Odinga man assisting him to “finish” the Kikuyu and Kalenjin. Indeed I received just such an email this week after I released my raw notes detailing what Kibaki handlers are doing to ensure that he remains in power into 2014 by stretching legal technicalities well beyond their limits. These emails were coming from Njoroges, Ngiges, Kamaus etc. most of them PhD holders. These same people have forgotten my controversial raw notes released late last year detailing Raila Odinga’s corrupt ways. If the cream of Kenyan society has swallowed the bait hook line and sinker what do you expect the down and out standard 8 drop outs out there in the villages to do? You tell me!!

Are Kenyans really that naïve? Are the Kikuyus and Kalenjins now brothers after the tragedy of 2007? Or is somebody just grouping them together for political gain?

I doubt whether Kenyans will be able to wake up on time to realize what is really happening. I predict that my Kikuyu brothers will read this post and see red. They will identify me as the enemy without reading and grasping what I am really saying here. But am I really the enemy?

Plans are at an advanced stage to turn Kumekucha into a flower selling blog. Or perhaps a blog selling diapers for toddlers will be more fulfilling? What do you guys think? Whatever you tell me do not mention politics in Kenya because I am just about done with that. Politics in our banana republic is a complete waste of time writing about. What is the point?

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Friday, March 23, 2012

Charity Ngilu's Biggest Political Blunder

Talk of strange bed-fellows.

The announcement this week that Mrs Charity Ngilu will be George Saitoti's running mate for the presidency was mostly ignored by the media. And with good reason because this is a ticket headed nowhere.
Ngilu still holds the record as the only serious woman presidential candidate so far and it remains to be seen if Martha Karua can make a bigger impact this time round. And so it is rather strange that "Mama Rainbow" as she was affectionately known to the electorate in 2002 would accept to be the running mate of perhaps one of the most corrupt Kenyans to ever be Vice President.

Just to illustrate how politics has benefited George Kinuthia aka George Saitoti, a friend of mine who used to work at the now defunct Barclays Bank Union Towers branch was shocked when Moi announced a relatively unknown man called George Saitoti as his new vice president. "That is the man whose Kenya shillings 500 cheque bounced" was how he described him. The man who did not have Kshs 500 in his account is today one of the wealthiest Kenyans around and one of the very few capable of financing a presidential campaign on his own. Politics is the "business" that has made the mathematics professor stinking rich. How a man with such a track record would want to be president just beats me. But then even Nicholas Biwott who makes Saitoti look like Mother Teresa in comparison will also be running for the presidency this time round, my sources tell me.

And so why would Ngilu want to damage her favourable political image with the public by working with somebody like Saitoti? It is instructive that although Saitoti has been the minister in charge of internal security, the Kibaki administration preferred the late John Michuki to handle sensitive national security issues irrespective of what docket he was holding. Apparently somebody felt that they could not be entirely sure that Bwana Saitoti would resist taking a bribe when it came to national security matters. That speaks volumes about the character of the man.

Keen political observers are saying that Ngilu is currently going through some serious financial problems and it is possible that the Saitoti project is less about politics and more about repairing finances.

Fascinatingly both these two politicians have been named as possible running mates to Raila Odinga's bid for the presidency this time round. It is one of the reasons why Mudavadi decided to swing into action (read sample issues of my raw notes for FREE)

Still it will be interesting to see these two contrasting politicians campaign together for the presidency for purely entertainment purposes.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Change is You: Reboot Mind, Shame Old Order

By KK Blogger

Forget the IEBC. The independence for the electoral body starts and ends with the letter I whcih spells its acronym, period. Now that the Ishak-led body have been ORDERED by Kibaki to go for the March elections, poor Raila is left clutching at political straws. Kibaki showed his hand weeks ago and the deceptive respect for courts only offered the best cover. The more things change the more they look mirror images of the previous filth. Kibaki may have started his last term swimming in a stream of blood but he is leaving the throne under his own terms. Poor Raila has been turned inside out once again, ATA DO?

But behind all these dark political clouds lies a silver lining that only Kenyans themselves can ride to their national glory. But will they? The majority of us are very much aware of the fact that all of our political nervous systems, digestive systems, respiratory systems and endocrine systems are all deeply infested with five decades of political cancerous tumours, social filth and other ethnic borne diseases.

And so, what do we do? We always end up playing the same old sickening and dirty political games, while hoping that the next general elections and the one following in the next five years, will bring about some form of much needed relief, overall sanity and overdue treatment for all the political ills that have bedevilled the whole country for the last five dark decades.

Sad to state as it were, that there will never be an appropriate political remedy for the current malignant cancerous modus operandi that has become so common place in every corner of the country and in each household, unless the political cancerous mentality and business as usual terminal modus operandi are surgically removed at the personal, regional and national levels.

There is no way we are going to have a healthy nation, healthy political system, healthy socioeconomic environment and healthy lifestyles while the cancerous cells and their known nationwide political agents are allowed to fester in our midst as they have done in the last five dark decades.

Unfortunately, the next general elections will not resolve our current sickening political, economic and ethnic issues, nor will the choreographed elections save the country from its political cancerous past unless we the people are willing to work twice as hard in order to secure a very clean bill of health.

The choice is not ours, unless we decide to become the agents of real change, and a people who are willing to collectively work hard and bring about a different but better political and socioeconomic climate for our nation, the people and subsequent generations.

Otherwise, we are now faced with two choices, a healthy political lifestyle from August/December of 2013, or an unavoidable cancerous way of life that will soon lead to a consequent political and socioeconomic death of a whole nation for the next two to three decades.

The ball is squarely perched on our court. We either measure us, rise up to the challenge and turn the corner or engage in political business-as-usual and forever keep our peace. No need to complain of the foul smell from the skunk brought in by our lovely pets.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Serious Trouble for Kenya As Late Night Calls Change Election Date To March 4th 2013

The IEBC (Independent Election And Boundaries Commission) has just announced at a Press Conference that the election date for the next general elections will be Monday 4th March 2013.

This means serious trouble for Kenya because the truth is that the principals yesterday agreed on the December 18th 2012 date (as reported here last night) which means that something changed during the night. This is very dangerous for Kenya and means we are back to January 2008 where President Kibaki would agree on something but later be over-ruled by some of his powerful radical advisors.

Insiders reveal that there is a huge possibility that one of the coalition partners, Raila Odinga will pull out of the government which will effectively dissolve it and force an earlier election date. And so you can be sure that we have not heard the last of this.

What worries some analysts is that President Kibaki is displaying the same tendencies of not wanting to leave office that were clearly visible in the run up to to troubled 2007 elections.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Breaking News: Election Date Is 18th December 2012 To Be Announced Tomorrow

Kenyans will go to the polls in historical general elections this year after all. The election date is 18th December 2012, impeccable sources have just informed this blogger. This date is set to be announced by the IEBC tomorrow morning at 11:00 am at the Laico Regency Hotel (formerly Grand Regency) in Nairobi.

This date has been arrived at after a meeting between the principals and the IEBC earlier today where it was agreed that President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga will dissolve the coalition government on October 18th 2012 paving the way for general elections 60 days later on 18th December 2012.

But keen political observers are still puzzled as to why President Kibaki has given up his 3 extra months so easily. These observers believe that working overnight and overtime it is possible for the powerful G7 faction that is very close to the president to get this commitment to the IEBC made earlier today rescinded. Although if this happens ODM can still pull out of the coalition and force the December 18th election date.

The election date has caused a lot of anxiety to Kenyans in recent times and if the announcement is made according to plan, this will help ease tensions in the country.

I will update this post with new information shortly after 11:30 AM Saturday 17th March (Kenyan time).

UPDATE
IEBC has just announced that election date will be held on Monday 4th March 2013. This means serious trouble for Kenya because the truth is that the principals agreed on the December 18th date which means that something changed during the night. This is very dangerous for Kenya and means we are back to January 2008 where President Kibaki would agree on something but later be over-ruled by his radical advisors. Insiders reveal that there is a huge possibility that one of the coalition partners, Raila Odinga will pull out of the government which will effectively dissolve it and force an earlier election date. 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Congo's Lubanga Guilty: Bad Signs for Ocampo4

Since inception 10 years ago, The International Criminal Court has served its first verdict today. The ICC has found the Congolese warlord, Thomas Lubanga, guilty of recruiting and using child soldiers between 2002 and 2003.

Lubanga headed a rebel group during an inter-ethnic conflict in a gold-rich region of Democratic Republic of Congo and was accused of crimes against humanity: using children as young as nine as bodyguards, sex slaves and fighters.

The verdict was unanimous among the three judges that Lubanga bore responsibility for the recruitment of child soldiers who had participated actively on the frontline.

So it appears The Hague doesn't take 90 years as premiered in our local movies. Lubanga was arrested in 2005. That paves the way for the local lads to take the centre stage after Lubanga. And the precedent is not very pleasant. Interesting times lie ahead.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

No Monopoly of Tough Talk: Raila Breathes Fire

Call it playing hardball or foolish grandstanding. The so-called G7 have been lording it over Kenyans and maybe someone had to stand up to them. But when you set out to bell the cat you are better reminded of the lurking paws.

Raila has come out bare knuckles and confronted his opponents head on. Hitherto lukewarm, the PM has chosen to play hard ball and challenged Uhuru and Ruto to stop their ethnic incitements practiced under the pretence of prayer meetings.

The Uhuru-Ruto axis blundered big time with their poorly crafted Kanu-era like propaganda accusing Britain of scheming to have them arrested by ICC. But their real clincher was meant to rope in President Kibaki by insinuating that the pro-Raila West will have Kibaki handed in to ICC next year once he leaves power.

Well, this is 2012 and those weaned and nurtured in cheap propaganda can only rev in the same vice as they are swept downstream in the resulting embarrassment. But the plot was a typical cheap plot of playing into the ethnic insecurities stoking plastic patriotic embers. We have seen it here and almost everywhere with people chasing phantom imperialist shadows.

That leaked document was such an amateurish venture so mush so that it amounted to a national embarrassment complete with both spelling and grammatical errors. The whole joke must have been typed on an old rusty manual typewriter with no benefit of a basic spellchecker.

Yatta MP Charles Kilonzo may never get enough detergent to cleanse his face left plastered in smelly eggs. The poor MP thought he was hogging the political stage but only succeeded in being a flawless marionette and puppet. Now that both Britain and the NSIS have declared the leak as forgery, the onus is on the relevant offices to met commensurate punishment and deterrent for this blatant abuse of parliament.

Raila is no saint but somebody had to disabuse both Uhuru and Ruto of their bravado and fake invincibility. The gloves are off and the political heat can only get hotter. Game on 2012.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Truth About Online Degree Courses

Higher education has become critical these days and the whole world seems to be going back to school. One of the reasons for this is probably because the World Wide Web has made it easier for many busy people to make their dreams come true through an online degree course.

You cannot argue with the fact that online degrees are convenient and you are spoilt for choice from some of the leading universities in the world. And what is more the cost is also much more manageable since you do not have to be on campus. And neither do you have to give up your current job.

Little wonder that those running online degree course are making a fortune these days. Naturally where there is so much money flying around, you are bound to find con artists and all kinds of undesirable characters looking to cash in on the situation. Higher education online is no exception.

The saddest thing about fake online degrees is that the person who is most likely to get prosecuted is you and not the shady diploma mills. It is a very serious offense to present a fake university degree and in some cases the poor job hunter may not even be aware that the online degree they possess is fake.

Now some people believe that it is very easy to identify a fake online degree course. This is not true because the con artists are getting cleverer and more sophisticated by the day.

So here are a few tips to help those of you interested in pursuing higher education online.

Look out for imitations of branded universities and colleges and alleged affiliations. Sometimes the names could be very similar and you may not notice the difference. For instance Hamilton University is the fake version of the real prestigious Hamilton College.

You also need to check for small errors like spelling and grammatical mistakes. A university takes a lot of pride in this piece of paper and will never allow such mistakes.

The time in which the degree has been obtained is yet another tell tale sign that all is not well. Real online degree courses will be very demanding and will usually take at the very least two years. When you hear about some fast track degree that will take you six months or less, you have reason to be very worried.

Also check the address. Fake online universities will have addresses that do not exist or will use P.O. boxes only.

It is also interesting that fake online training institutions will usually not have a catalog that contains information on the syllabus, schedules and tuition fees. To be on the safe side always and take the trouble to look for online courses that are accredited to the relevant authorities in that country. For instance the United States department of education certifies only universities that pass the department’s stringent standards. And so if your online university is not accredited you know the reason why.

Having said this there are so many genuine and exciting opportunities being provided by various online degree courses these days which we shall explore here in the days to come.

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Saturday, March 10, 2012

Breaking News: Machakos Country Bus Explosions

Multiple explosions at the busy Machakos Country bus station today shortly after 7 pm has left at least 3 dead and scores injured. At least 21 people have been rushed to hospital with various injuries, some of them very serious.

Initial indications are that the explosions may have been caused by hand grenades in what appears to be a terrorist attack. The timing of the explosions shorty after 7 pm seems to have been deliberate to cause the maximum number of casualties as this is usually a very busy time at the terminus with many people getting on buses to travel to various upcountry destinations.

It is not clear how the injured people will receive attention given that the ongoing nurses' strike has crippled normal operations in most public hospitals across the country.

There is still no official report on the incident.

Security experts in the country have over the last couple of months been on a high alert expecting a terrorist attack and it was highly expected that one of the upmarket shopping malls would be targeted by the Al Shabab from neighbouring Somalia who have taken heavy losses in the hands of the Kenya Defence Forces.

We will give more information as we receive it.

No Theatrics, ICC Sends Ocampo4 to Full Trial

They saw it coming only that The Hague is not Kenya best known for legal laundering under serial fake constitutional references. Now that the ICC Appeal Chamber has thrown out the Ocampo4's appeal, the impending full trial wouldn't have come at bad political time.

It appears the gods refused to hear the prayers. But again you only mock God at the risk of incurring his royal wrath. Playing cheap politics may be fashionable locally but it is very expensive exporting that vice abroad.

The Ocampo4 should demand refund from their defence lawyers. Instead on focusing on law, the so-called learned friends joined the gravy train of playing politics with ICC minting strange conspiracy theories.

This ICC alley cat will definitely drag home very unpleasant skunk. Kibaki is not sitting pretty knowing that this time next year he may be a guest in very hostile cubicles far away from Othaya.

Well, we haven't heard nor seen the last head of this ICC hydra. Game on.

Thursday, March 08, 2012

What Kibaki Wants To Exploit In Waki List

I can confirm to my dear readers that President Mwai Kibaki has a high level think tank tasked with doing nothing else but making the Hague go away for the president. Their latest scheming is what led to the bizarre incident yesterday where a group of youth gained instant access to the president and wide media coverage firing salvos at the ICC.
Judge Philip Waki secrets: The man has booked his place in history books.

These are the kind of political games invented by one Thomas Joseph Mboya, ironically the man who drove and old VW Beetle all the way to Makerere University to fetch highly educated Mwai Kibaki to help change the image of Kanu and bolster its’ intellectual credentials. Mboya was a master schemer and when he operated there were frequent petitions from the public that would always support his position and intentions. But alas that is a story for another day.

The point here is that it is crystal clear that these youth who appeared from nowhere are not the ones who came up with the idea to go and see the president. The idea in fact came from deep inside State house. If you think it is easy to see the president or get an opportunity to present a petition, then just try it out and you will quickly see what I mean. Even visiting Senator Barrack Obama was unable to see Kibaki, even for a few minutes. Incidentally when that happened nobody in Kenya believed that that Ka-senator jaruo would ever become president of the most powerful nation in the world. Now Kibaki has a big problem getting n appointment to see President Obama and quite rightly so. (I will tell that story in my next post)

So what was the whole purpose of yesterday’s drama at the president’s office in Harambee house? What is in the Waki report that the president’s men want to exploit?

The whole idea is to cash in on a very powerful emotion that politicians always take advantage of. It is called sympathy. Sympathy has won landslide elections all over the world and there is no telling what this thing can acheieve.

Tucked away in the Waki list are two names that will hit Kenyans so hard that many will change their views on this whole Hague thing. Those two names are….. (Drums rolling please)

Njenga Karume

John Njoroge Michuki

What!!!!

Yep.

You get my drift. It is quite possible that this will start a major push from Kenyans (who worship dead people and fear them more than they fear almighty God himself) to insist that the post election violence be tried in Kenya. More importantly if this grand plot succeeds then it will mean that President Kibaki is off the hook and will not soon join his good friend Al Bashir on the suspects’ list.

Expect the Waki list to be made public very soon.


Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Evidence That The G7 is Headed Nowhere

Admittedly there are very few likeable things about the game called politics but one thing that I personally love about it is the fact that copy cats usually end up in terrible grief. This is in sharp contrast to the situation in business and commerce where copycats quite often benefit much more than the originators. The nature of politics is too dependent on the mood of the country and the unique situation as folks go to the polls for every election for the same old trick to work again and again.

Unelectable compromise candidates?

In the ill-fated 2007 general elections presidential candidate Raila Odinga’s strategy of identifying popular tribal chiefs from various parts of the country and bringing them all under the ODM umbrella worked like a charm. Of course it was helped by the fact that President Mwai Kibaki had succeeded in provoking animosity against his administration from the entire country. To make matters worse the president’s handlers chose to use a campaign strategy for the president’s re-election that was very tribal in nature and served only to alienate his administration even further.

I have said this here many times and I will repeat it yet again. Kenyans did not vote for Raila Odinga in 2007 rather the vast majority cast their votes against Mwai Kibaki.

Now fast forward to 2012 and William Ruto, Uhuru Kenyatta and Kalonzo Musyoka amongst others are pretty sure that the exact same approach will work this time round. Uhuru and Ruto are so blinded in their rage against Raila Odinga that they have failed to see that the Odinga campaign bus is headed in a slightly different direction this time round. Although his strategy still relies on having point men/women in different regions of the country, there is a lot of emphasis on talking directly to the electorate.

If there was any doubt as to how sure some folks are that this G7 strategy will work then it was dispelled when Kalonzo Musyoka was shunned recently. His reaction was very telling. The watermelon VP went on his knees before President Kibaki who intervened on his behalf and ordered Uhuru and Ruto to accept the VP back into their fold.

My big question is; what will happen when this strategy falls flat on its’ face?

Indeed there is plenty of evidence on the ground that voters will totally ignore these tribal groupings that their leaders are so determined to classify them into for very selfish voting purposes. I have talked to numerous Kenyans in the so-called voting blocks most of whom are very sure that the days of voting according to instructions from the tribal chief are over. And if you doubt what I am saying just take the time to study the results of the referendum on the new constitution two years ago.

Many of my readers here are also in touch with people on the ground and it will be interesting if they can share their observations in the comments below.

But above all else, there will be a major problem when members of the G7 have to decide on a presidential candidate. Assuming that that candidate is William Ruto, you can be sure that the Kikuyu vote will vanish. Assuming that it is Uhuru Kenyatta, the Kalenjin vote will also evaporate into thin air whether Ruto remains in the G7 or not. The ideal solution would be to choose a compromise candidate. Somebody like Kalonzo Musyoka. However the problem with that is that Musyoka is unelectable and so are all the other possible compromise candidates in G7 at the moment. My take is that the G7 is a very noisy and crowded train headed for a place called Nowhere.

See also; 

Why Does Jimmy Kibaki want Eugene Wamalwa to be the next president?

What John Kerry has in Common with Kalonzo Musyoka 

Will Mwalimu Mati still stand for president?

Monday, March 05, 2012

Moi Endorsing Uhuru is Right and Interesting

While many Kenyans saw the vintage Moi endorse the DPM Uhuru at Karume's funeral, others the whole campaign spiced in poisoned chalice. Call it Uhuru project II, but the retired President also has the democratic right to choose and voice his opinions and feelings. And that is the right side of his speech.

The interesting bit can be deciphered from the genesis of turning funerals into campaign platforms. Afterall this sickening practice was conceived, delivered and nurtured during Uncle Dan's ERA. Those were the days when you could not separate a leader's personal views from government policies. And what is more, just like the dreaded one O'clock news, many were hired and fired at funerals. So forget Moi's hitherto hollow advice for people to respect the dead by avoiding politics at funerals. The master was only perfecting his invention.

That said, give credit to baba Gigi on fidelity. He singularly believed in UK project 10 years ago and his consistency is a rare gem among our politicians. He may have only mentioned Central Kenya leadership but you don't need to be a neurologists to dissect the bigger picture and the wider implications of his declaration.

Oh, please forget that fad of ICC nonsense as a Yorke burdening Uhuru's neck. Moi the nationalist knows better as he warned ages ago about neocolonialism. This is the same Professor of politics who had warned us of Rwanda-like genocide to dissuade Kenyans from advocating for multipartism. Well, the proof in his scare mongering can be sampled from the present fractious, nay tribal, political pudding.

Nobody can fault Moi for answering to people's pleas. It was the same people who have been pestering the reluctant President Kibaki to anoint a successor. Not one to shun controversies nor fear backlash, Moi has stepped to the plate and called Kenyans bluff.

It is a free world and Moi has voiced his choice. Moi never cares about what you think about him, his failures and success notwithstanding. Kenyans will have the opportunity to either support his choice of embarrass his one more time come election time. The heat is one and only those hardy enough to stand the embers will be left standing.