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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Ocampo 4: A Flawed Defense Strategy


by Mwarang'ethe
Up to now, we have refrained from commenting too much on the on going ICC case of the Ocampo six who have been reduced to four.  We have done so because, we hold this Kangaroo Court in utter contempt for it is being used to throw dust into the eyes of the long suffering African people. First, we acknowledge that, serious crimes were committed in Kenya in 2007/8. Secondly, we also, acknowledge, the need for justice for the victims.

Having conceded that, serious crimes were committed, and there is need for justice, we hold a very well considered opinion that, the best justice we can give to the victims of that senseless violence is to devote our attention to a careful reformation of the system which produce such senseless disorder in Africa. Regrettably, instead of devoting ourselves to this noble cause, we have cried for vengeance. The problem is that vengeance shall not remove the real causes of the rampant social disorder in Africa. This being the case, we risk being colonised by stealth in the name of justice.

Those who are ignorant of African history may find the above assertion far fetched. However, all one has to remember is this. In 1526, Nzinga Mbemba of Kingdom of Kongo, a.k.a. Alfonso I wrote the following plea to the King of Portugal:

We cannot reckon how great the damage is, since the merchants daily seize our subjects, sons of the land and sons of our noblemen, vassals and relatives ... and cause them to be sold; and so great, Sir, is their corruption and licentiousness that our country is being utterly depopulated.

The question is, did the Portuguese help in any way? They not only encouraged slave trade, but, ended up colonising Africa. Does any believe this time is different? If so, how and why?

Having noted the above, we would advise the Ocampo four to “pause” their frantic defence, change their defence strategy and take on Ocampo first. The problem we find with their defence is that, they have entrusted their fate to mainstream lawyers who will not challenge this body like Milosevic did until they killed him by refusing him medical attention. The truth is that, by taking his own defence, Milsoveic proved a serious challenge to the corrupt international justice system. For instance, his trial was supposed to be broadcast, but, since Milosevic was prepared, all this was dropped.

Thus, we propose, in terms of military art, they need to switch to an offensive strategy and forget their passive defense which their lawyers are pursuing. In fact, we would argue that, their defensive strategy amounts to letting  a long and unbroken line of troops move for so long which must be avoided completely if one is to win any war. As a matter of fact, their strategy amounts to fortification in the age of aerial warfare. As such, they need to abandon their fortifications and launch the greatest weapon of offensive warfare i.e. a surprise and ferocious attack.

This being the case, it is our considered view that, the best option at this moment is to mount a serious attack on the prosecutor and the ICC at large on account of partiality. As an example, they can argue that, the ICC prosecutor and the judges are in clear violation of Article 45 of the Rome Statute entitled: Solemn Undertaking which provides that:

“Before taking up their respective duties under this Statute, the judges, the Prosecutor, the Deputy Prosecutors, the Registrar and the Deputy Registrar shall each make a solemn undertaking in open court to exercise his or he respective functions impartially and conscientiously.”

The argument would be like this:

(a) We do not fear to defend ourselves for the alleged crimes.

(b) However, before we stand trial, it is just and proper that, be it ascertained whether we can receive fair trial at the ICC.

Flowing from the above then, to the extent that, the ICC prosecutor and the judges, can be shown not to have not acted in accordance with Rome Statute and especially Article 45, they disqualify themselves from taking “up their respective duties” under the Statute against the four.

We content ourselves at this stage by citing just one example that can be cited and argued forcefully to demonstrate the partiality of this Court and therefore, demonstrate it's utter incapacity to offer a fair trial. In the recent war of aggression against Libya, Ocampo moved very swiftly to indict Gaddafi on fabricated charges.

However, at the same time, in clear evidence of the Court's partiality contrary to Article 45 of the Rome Statute, it did not, and has not acted on violations of international law by the NATO forces. To cite one plain example. The UN Charter, Chapter VII Article 46, provides that:

Plans for the application of armed force shall be made by the Security Council with the assistance of the Military Staff Committee.

To the best of our recollection, there was no Military Staff committee which was involved in the Libyan war. Clearly, this being irrefutable, this is a a clear violation of the international law of war for the NATO leaders, and many of them are party to the Rome Statute have committed serious crimes under the jurisdiction of the ICC. Why would Ocampo be in a rush to indict Gaddafi on fabricated charges while ignoring clear violations of the international law? If this is not partiality, what is it?

It can be argued that, to the extent the ICC has not seen it fit to investigate such blatant violation of international laws of war, is a confirmation of breach of the Rome Statute Article 42 which provides that, the Office of the Prosecutor “shall not seek or act on instructions from any external source.” If he has not received or sought such instructions, where does his partiality emanate from? From incompetence? If it is incompetence, how can he try the Kenyan case then?

As a matter of fact, the ICC prosecutor is on record saying that, he will ask the UN Security Council member states on the way forward for the Libyan case. How can those who have violated the international laws of war with impunity be the ones to give direction to the ICC prosecutor? What kind of justice is this?

The ultimate question which the ICC judges would be forced to answer in this novel approach is this: If the ICC is receiving instructions contrary to Article 42 of the Rome Statute, how can its impartiality as demanded by Article 45 of the Rome Statute be met?

By adopting this defence strategy instead of the usual one, the Ocampo four would force the ICC either:

(a) to live up to the lofty claims and especially Article 45. Definitely, were it to do this, it would be killed by those who seek to use it as a means of colonialism.

(b) to brush brush aside a well researched attack on its partiality which would lead to loss legitimacy which it has gained by propaganda.

In other words, the Ocampo four should force the ICC to live up to its lofty claims or close shop and scatter those lawyers wasting time there to look for other means of earning their living.

Friday, January 27, 2012

With Presidential Ambitions Up in Smoke, Can Uhuru Be Effective Kingmaker?

That is the question political observers are asking themselves since Uhuru Kenyatta's resignation as finance minister yesterday.

Unlike the emotionally reckless William Ruto who has openly declared he will be on the presidential ballot paper, Uhuru has not made any such direct declarations and remains as guarded as ever on his immediate political future.

As he exited his luxurious red-carpeted Treasury House office yesterday, Uhuru released a statement which indicated that he "looks forward to meeting you all at the grassroots as I traverse the countryside to reassure you all that our mission to give hope to the youth of this country, our vision of seeing a peaceful Kenya and our firm resolve to transform Kenya into a modern first class economy is still on course".

While Ruto has yet to appreciate the gravity of the charges facing him at the ICC, Uhuru appears to have an understanding of how high the stakes have been raised. Power politics is not an easy game to play when one has been indicted by the International Criminal Court. And for anyone to imagine that they can be state president and deputy state president in Kenya while they attend court sessions at the Hague is taking ambition and hope beyond utopian dreams.

Many legal minds, including CIC Chairman Charles Nyachae, have argued that there is nothing legally to bar Uhuru or Ruto to run for president. Even ICC Prosecutor Ocampo has asserted that the issue of elections in Kenya is something for the Kenyans to decide. But here at Kumekucha, being the sober political analysts that we are, we believe the presidential dreams of Uhuru and Ruto have hit a brick wall. Let us examine the reality:

If an Uhuru who is already indicted by ICC cannot serve as as a mere Finance Minister of a grand coalition government - despite presidential back-up to do so - and in a constitution that is in transition, how in God's name will Uhuru be president in our constitution when it is fully functional? How will Uhuru run to be president when he is charged at the ICC with the worst criminal cases that anyone can face in this world?

Granted that the KANU Chairman has his core support among the counties populated by the Agikuyu in the former Central and Rift Valley provinces. Uhuru has also steadily gained popularity ratings on some of our dubious opinion polls and was last reported as closing in on Raila Odinga. But the fact still remains that in the new constitutional dispensation, anyone who wishes to be president must come with a lot more than his ethnic support. The bar has been raised and sadly, both Uhuru and Ruto fail in most of the basic requirements the constitution demands for presidential contenders. The Hague baggage does not help matters.

In a country that is constantly baby-sat by western powers and one that the stability of the entire horn of Africa hinges on, how will someone who is on the same list as Ugandan sadistic warlord Joseph Kony be in the running to form a government in the republic of Kenya? Someone must be sleep walking to imagine this!

Uhuru and Ruto have only one way to go. They can only support a preferred presidential candidate, and sponsor as much parliamentary and senatorial candidates as they possibly can in 2012. Those candidate must be people they can control like puppets. And that president must be someone they can dictate to. That person is not Kalonzo Musyoka and neither is it George Saitoti. It could be either Raphael Tuju or Eugene Wamalwa, perhaps a pairing of both as candidate and running mate. The possibility of forming the next official opposition could never have been clearer.

Let us see how today's rally at Eldoret's 64 stadium turns out!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Breaking News: Uhuru Kenyatta and Francis Muthaura Have Resigned

As predicted by Kumekucha less than 24 hours ago, Uhuru Kenyatta has handed his resignation to President Mwai Kibaki. Also handing in his resignation was fellow ICC indictee Ambassador Francis Muthaura who was the immediate former Head of Civil Service and Secretary to the Cabinet.

President Kibaki has this afternoon accepted decision by Uhuru Kenyatta to step aside as Finance Minister. Uhuru will however stay on as Deputy Prime Minister without portfolio.

Robinson Njeru Githae takes over at Finance while Francis Kimemia takes over from Muthaura as Head of Civil Service. Mutea Iringo will be Acting Permanent Secretary for Provincial Administration and Internal Security.
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See also: Kibaki handlers in sixes and sevens

Using your idle hours to make extra money on the side
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Full PPS Statement is reproduced here:
PRESIDENT MWAI KIBAKI ACCEPTS DECISION BY HEAD OF PUBLIC SERVICE AND SECRETARY TO THE CABINET AMBA. MUTHAURA, AND DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER; MINISTER FOR FINANCE HON. UHURU KENYATTA TO STEP ASIDE 

His Excellency the President has accepted the decision by Hon. Uhuru Kenyatta, EGH, M.P. to step aside as the Minister for Finance. However, Hon. Kenyatta will retain the position of Deputy Prime Minister in accordance with the Constitution. 

His Excellency the President has appointed Hon. Robinson Githae, EGH, M.P. Minister for Nairobi Metropolitan Development, to be the Acting Minister for Finance. 

His Excellency the President has also accepted the decision by Amb. Dr. Francis K. Muthaura, EGH to step aside as Permanent Secretary, Secretary to the Cabinet and Head of the Public Service. 

In this regard, Mr. Francis T. Kimemia, CBS Permanent Secretary, Provincial Administration and Internal Security will be Acting Permanent Secretary, Secretary to the Cabinet and Head of Public Service. 

Mr. Mutea Iringo will be Acting Permanent Secretary for Provincial Administration and Internal Security. 

PPS 
26th January, 2012

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Kibaki Handlers In Sixes And Sevens


Presidents Mwai Kibaki And Omar Al Bashir. If this was a page in Facebook the caption would most likely read; Omar Al Bashir Likes this.

Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.

Any close observer of the politics of the land since January 2008 would be excused for being very angry and wondering what the heck was wrong with Kenyans. Their anger would stem from the great injustice in the land.
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As you read this, victims of the 2008 post election violence are still in camps, refugees in their own country. And yet over the last few months several individuals have proudly announced their intention to contest for the presidency in the general elections which had been scheduled for this year. The most prominent in the race for the presidency are individuals who were involved in one way or another with the election troubles of 2008. These are Raila Odinga (widely believed to be the winner of those elections but who was denied when the incumbent used state machinery at his disposal to quickly get himself sworn in), William Ruto and Uhuru Kenyatta.

What would you be feeling hearing these presidential ambitions in the media every day even as you cow in a corner of a torn tent somewhere in the republic that you call your home country?

Indeed the Kenyan people have for all intents and purposes forgotten these poor IDPs some of whom were wealthy landowners and employers before tragedy struck and wiped out all their hard work and industry in one deadly swoop that left thousands dead (Kumekucha figures).

There are many readers of these popular blog who do not fear God. Rather their intellectualism does not allow them to acknowledge the existence of the almighty. Some of them have often said that religion is the opium of the masses (obviously meaning the uneducated masses).

However it would appear that a recent chain of events still rapidly unfolding in the country is divine intervention working out a terrible revenge against those most responsible for causing the deaths of so many innocent Kenyans in January 2008.

Fascinatingly until the announcement by the ICC confirming the very serious charges against four Kenyans, most in the political class did not want to believe that the charges would never be confirmed. In fact two of the most prominent accused persons were busy plotting their elaborate presidential campaigns.

The happenings after the events of yesterday afternoon have pushed the country into an extremely dangerous position. Already there is massive panic amongst several prominent camps all of which could easily cause trouble to muddy the waters. The Kenyatta family whose massive wealth can be traced back to serious corruption and unprecedented land grabbing during the Jomo Kenyatta presidency, is feeling the heat the most (read this Kumekucha exclusive) and chances are very high that Uhuru Kenyatta will be resigning from government within the next day or so.

The William Ruto camp is not any better and using the same old abrasive Kanu tactics his advisors have crafted two political rallies for this Frdiday as a response, one in Eldoret and another in Thika. You do not need to be a rocket scientist to guess what the agenda of those pubic rallies will be. The objective will be to show that the duo (Uhuru and Ruto) have not been affected by the ICC ruling to go ahead with their trials.

But all that is nothing compared to what will happen if the trial does proceed. The president’s aides are the ones who are most worried about this eventuality. And with good reason. If the confirmation hearings are anything to go by, we should expect the names of the two principals to come up lot in those hearings. And especially the president’s role in the January 2008 troubles. Already the media is awash with the State house meeting involving representatives of the Mungiki terror gang which the ICC judges believe took place based on the evidence that they have. State house Nairobi has once again strongly protested that any such meeting took place although the denial story has changed dramatically this time round when compared to the last official denial.

Additionally if one was to care to take a closer look at what special prosecutor Luis Moreno Ocampo did in the Sudan cases, State house has a lot of reasons to be terribly worried. The strategy was to indict lesser government officials who after cross examination during the trial provided enough evidence and reason for the ICC to issue an arrest warrant for President Al Bashir. Kenya may not be Sudan but here is way too much evidence to suggest that that is exactly the direction we are headed to.

It is naive for those expecting justice i Kenya to be excited about such an eventuality. To me it is way too dangerous and could easily plunge the country into the kind of chaos that will make 2008 look like it was a Christmas party.

Plotting a Great Business Comeback While Keeping Your Day Job

Kumekucha Exclusive: Mama Ngina Kenyatta Orders Uhuru To Resign


There are those entrepreneurs who in the course of their struggles to succeed in business end up being forced to go back to employment. Many times for these kind of people, their only hope of entering into business in the near future is by doing so on a part-time basis, at least to start with.
   
And you really can’t blame them. Jobs are very difficult to come by these days and when one is lucky enough to land one, leaving it for the uncertainties of business becomes very difficult. The protests alone that one is bound to receive from a spouse and relatives for abandoning a job to take the risk would probably be enough to kill any entrepreneurial spirit before it has had any chance of getting started.
   
Although great successes in business come to those who are ready to risk all and burn all their bridges so that there is no alternative for them other than success, there are also a lot of advantages in doing a part-time business.

Maybe you are so busy in your full time job and are sure that there is no way you are going to be able to get the time to launch a part-time business or income generating project. Maybe you even work in shifts and are sometimes on night duty. You will be pleasantly surprised to discover that you too can launch a lucrative part-time venture.
   
This proves that there is nobody who cannot go into business, if they are determined enough and thus plan carefully.
   
And with the money pressures that employed people have these days; it makes a lot of sense to pursue some extra income on the side.
   
There is yet another group of people who can benefit from a part-time business and that is people who are already in business. One can easily start a side business to supplement the income of their main business. Or if you are in a partnership with other
people, it might make a lot of sense to have a side business where you are sole proprietor and can make all the decisions on your own. In fact there are cases where people have started many prosperous businesses in addition to their already thriving one simply by starting it off as a side business that prospers and grows into a full-time occupation.

It has given me great pleasure researching and writing this book. Let me admit that even I was amazed at the vast untapped range of opportunities that are available for a part-timer today. As the book progressed, I got more and more excited and I trust that the same thing will happen to you as you read on.
   
For those who have the experience, running a part-time enterprise is littered with many pitfalls and many have learned some very bitter lessons about the multitude of things that can go wrong. I know what I am talking about because personally I have also lost quite a bundle in part-time businesses I once tried that went wrong.
   
To start with many have learned that you cannot leave somebody else to run your business for you. If they do not steal from you, then they will almost certainly be incapable of getting anything done. The only successful absentee-business-persons are those who have had many years experience or those who once ran the enterprises themselves and thus when they pass it on to another person, the systems are already in place for the continued smooth running of the business. It also becomes very easy to supervise your employee.
   
The solution is to create the time to run the business yourself. Just like the Dutch reclaimed most of their land back from the sea, you too can do the same with time.
   
It must be realized that there is plenty of time during the day that is normally wasted and can be put to good use running your part time operation. You can wake up earlier in the morning or you can stay up later in the evening. By simply doing this, most of us can comfortably gain as much as five extra hours for work daily without too much strain. You can even gain more time if you use both evenings and mornings.
   
This has actually been done very successfully by people in the past. Let us look at the case of a few part-timers whose line of business was writing. This should interest you even if you are not a writer because the examples illustrate the fact that even tiny chunks of time, reclaimed can add up to the hours needed to achieve a really major
project.

The French chancellor D’Aguesseau noticed that his wife was habitually 10 minutes late coming down to dinner. He decided to make use of the 10 minutes ( 3,650 minutes a year or more than 60 hours) and wrote a 3 volume book which became a best seller
when it was published in 1668.
   
Anthony Trollope spent most of his life working as a postal clerk, but he would get up at 5:00 am each morning and write 3,000 words in the 3 hours before beginning with the mail. If Trollope finished writing a novel before it was time to go to work, he would simply start another one. He finished 50 books this way.
   
Even more amazing was British crime writer Michael Gilbert who managed to craft 23 books during his daily 50 minutes commute to his ‘real job’ as a lawyer. You might be saying to yourself that you would never manage to do the same in a packed Matatu or bus, but you would be missing the point.
   
Then during the day itself there is still more time to be reclaimed. Take the lunch break. This is normally one hour long and you will be surprised as to how much can be achieved if this time is planned for and used to the maximum.
   
Only recently I came across this youngster who distributes magazines and books part-time while working on a very taxing full-time job elsewhere. One would wonder when he gets the time to distribute his wares to newspaper vendors and book shops. He actually
manages to do it very effectively by using his one hour lunch break every day and then the evenings between 5 pm when he leaves his work-place and 6 pm when most vendors and bookshops close. He also works on Saturdays and usually manages to see a few newspaper vendors after he leaves work at 1 pm. So you can imagine the advantage most of us who do not work on Saturdays would have.
   
Is this not too much hard work, many may ask? There is really no two ways about it. You just have to make the sacrifice. Too many people, still believe in something for nothing. It is not realistic to expect to achieve anything worthwhile without making some sacrifices and working hard for it.
  
Unfortunately the work ethic seems to be very weak in Africa  and everybody wants to believe that they should prosper  without too much hard work. This is a myth that seems
to be very deeply buried in the minds of our people.
   
That should be very good news for any would-be-part-time entrepreneurs because it means that anybody who is willing to put in just a little hard work has a huge advantage over others.
   
So hard work and good planning can create the time you need to devote to your enterprise to make it a success.
   
Some people claim that the great disadvantage with a part-time business is the lack of inertia and focus. Because one has another job, they can only devote little small time
frames to it which have to be broken regularly for them to go back to their employer. This creates a lack of inertia which a full time entrepreneur has.
   
Actually on the contrary this can be looked upon as an advantage by some entrepreneurs because every time a part time entrepreneur turns to their business, they bring in a fresh look making it possible to have a high degree of creativity. And besides with discipline, one will quickly adjust and get used to the unique situation of “juggling two balls in the air at the same time.”

Another disadvantage is that for many part-time enterprises, the scope for expansion appears to be very limited.
   
In actual fact, this is not true for all businesses of this nature and many of them can be expanded simply by employing people on a full time basis.
   
In fact rather than just concentrate on pitfalls, the part-timer has many valuable advantages that can go a long way in helping them to establish a business on a
sound footing. The first being that he or she will most probably already be employed somewhere else and will be earning money on a regular basis, thus they can continue to capitalise the business and need not interfere with the cash till or even draw a salary for expenses until the business is established. Interestingly, it has been established that raiding one’s own cash till is one of the major reasons for the demise of many small businesses all over the world. This is when the business-owner thinks that what he or she has on hand at the end of the day are profits which they can play around with. Forgetting that salaries have not been paid and neither have other expenses for the month been settled. Thus anyone using money on hand from their business is actually using up the capital of their business and it is inevitable that this action will sooner or later ground the business.
   
The tools you will need to make your part-time enterprise a success are the ideas and the correct thinking required for a part-time entrepreneur. There is plenty of that kind of information as well as inspiration and tips in our Facebook page. Just like it to get regular updates on your Facebook news feed.

Uhuru Kenyatta Contemplating Resignation As Kibaki Return Awaited

In his Facebook statement soon after the ICC bombshell, DPM and Finance Minister Uhuru Kenyatta promised to issue a "more comprehensive statement" in the next few days but with his continued silence and William Ruto taking it upon himself to announce joint thanksgiving rallies with his co-accused in Eldoret and Kiambu, sources close to Uhuru intimate  that the DPM is actually contemplating resignation from government.
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Following an emergency family gathering called by family matriarch Mama Ngina Kenyatta, a resolution was passed that Uhuru should take a sabatical from politics, forego presidential ambitions and instead work to defend himself at the ICC and restore the good name of the late Mzee Kenyatta for the sake of younger Kenyatta siblings.

TeamUhuru.co.ke which was previously very active on twitter and facebook has hardly sent out any updates for the last 48 hours.

Interestingly, Uhuru is now deemed internationally as the most prominent indictee in Africa going by the prominence his name and that of his late father has received in global coverage including BBC, CNN, NYT, FT, FORBES and others since the announcement of the pre-trial chamber decision. BBC World Service even featured Kenyan case on its popular 'Have your say' talk show which has the widest reach of any radio talk show in the world and is very popular with African listeners.

Some Kenyatta family members are upset that Uhuru continues to take the flack and bear responsibility for a presidency which Kibaki is enjoying and apparently enjoying ICC immunity from despite having been the one who issued orders for co-operation with Mungiki. The hostility being shown towards Kibaki by some Kenyatta kin is understable given Uhuru has always been the favourite and heir apparent of the Kenyatta sons.

Sources also inform us that the Kenyatta family is apprehensive about a possible asset freeze of the extensive Kenyatta estate by the ICC for purposes of  compensating post elections violence victims. Having already profiled the assets of all suspects and now Uhuru reportedly being advertised as the wealthiest Kenyan in the world, the ICC indictment could not have come at a worse time for Kenyatta family. Uhuru's personal wealth was subject of close courtroom examination my ICC prosecutor Moreno Ocampo during the hearings in 2010.

The Kenyatta family takes the threat of asset seisure by ICC seriously and would rather fight to defend the family wealth than finance another unbankable presidential bid by Uhuru in 2012 against an opponent like Raila Odinga. Some Kenyatta family members have even suggested sending an olive branch to the ODM supremo given the history between their fathers and that the senior Odinga actually gave up the presidency of Kenya to Kenyatta during independence.

Meanwhile, Kibaki was this morning reportedly addressing members of EA Legislative Assembly in Kampala, Uganda and his return is currently unknown but Uhuru is said to be weighing his options following stern orders from Mama Ngina as he await Kibaki return.

Why The Ocampo Four Must Prepare For The Ugliest Of Trials


Things will move very fast, reliable source tells Kumekucha

Snapshot: President Kibaki wrote a personal statement to the ICC court in defence of Muthaura. So indicting Muthaura is a loaded statement to Kibaki. And he is no fool.

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Most of us missed the big story yesterday. It was the delay in Kenyans receiving the news of the verdict after everybody else in the world and the big speech by president Kibaki very shortly after that basically trying to throw cold water on the ICC verdict. What happened to our communication in Kenya yesterday afternoon? Was somebody trying to buy time?
Create a caption for this photo and post it in the comments section below and you can win a hug from Kumekucha himself if you are a nice looking lass.

It is instructive that Kumekucha was the first to break the story with the post being made from somewhere in Europe. Just do you research and get back to us about that delay will you?

And to confirm that the daggers have truly been drawn the immediate response from the US (in response to Kibaki’s strange speech) was telling. The US urged Kenya to co-operate with the ICC. Read the story HERE

Now why would the US say that? Cast your mind back to the president’s statement and the answer is there in black and white. Kibaki just stopped short of saying that he would not co-operate with the ICC because he did not recognize their ruling. Indeed he said that in different carefully selected words.

I have said it here before several times that the real target of the ICC is President Mwai Kibaki and if anybody was waiting for a confirmation, it came yesterday. Granted, former police commissioner Ali is not in the Ocampo four, but the man who issued the orders in the first place, Francis Muthaura is. So where did Muthaura get his orders from?

At this point it does not matter whether the four will be found guilty or not, Kenya has changed forever. Those famous words from ICC special prosecutor Ocampo have come back to haunt the guilty. He said he wanted to use Kenya as an example and true to his word the whole world is reeling with shock today that an actual sitting deputy Prime Minister of a country can stand trial at the ICC, it is unprecedented. It tells the whole world that we have crooks seated in the government in the banana republic called Kenya. And the president unknowingly confirmed that script by making the statement he did.

I must say that it is laughable how some people can be stuck in a time frame and stubbornly refuse to move with the times. President Kibaki in his mind is still in the Kenyatta days when it was a very serious thing for the president to interrupt all programs to make an unscheduled address to the nation.


During the Kenyatta presidency it happened only once when the country was falling apart after the assassination of Tom Mboya. During the Moi days it never happened. But during the Kibaki presidency it has happened so many times (the most memorable was the one where he disowned his second wife and his own children by her, just to please his first wife) that they are no longer of any significance. Personally I would pay more attention to the "Rambo" police spokesman issuing a statement because I have come to expect the president’s statements to be hot air speeches playing politics and pretending that he is addressing grave national issues. Who advices the guy anyway (they should all be sacked because they are a total waste to tax-payers funds). Although in mitigation there is a source who persistently tells me that the president is always ignoring the sound advice he receives and doing things his way because he has the “long experience” which some of the young men advising him do not.

I am also reliably informed that things will move with speed from here on. If the appeals fail (which they will because legally an appeal at this stage is on very thin ice given that the accused persons have not even seen all the evidence against them. It will make more sense to go to trial and then appeal if there is a conviction) then the trail that will follow will be “brutal”. Brutal in the sense that Kenyans will hear things that will make their ears “ring” or is it buzz. Terrible terrible things that were done to fellow Kenyans as old man impunity raised his ugly head in all its’ ugliness.

A Kumekuchan summarized the whole scenario perfectly. The ICC will single handedly and neatly solve all our political problems. That is what the old guard including Mzee Mwai Kibaki do not want to hear.

But whether you want to hear it or not, that is the truth. Over the last couple of months old fat overweight (from 40 years of feeding very well) impunity has taken quite a beating but always remained on his feet. I have great pleasure in announcing to you that he received the knockout blow yesterday afternoon and is out for the count.

Folks, I have to stop there, this is a post I will have to finish later (there is too much to be said and so I will take it easy so that we are all able to absorb it all, no?

So you can look out for part 2 very soon where I will talk about the mysterious powerful figure behind the blinding speed of the proceedings at the Hague and why Ocampo would win any election in Kondele.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

ICC: Uhuru, Ruto, Muthaura, Sang to Stand Trial

Updates

President Kibaki is playing hard ball after ICC tried to get to him through proxy. You see technically, in government operations, Muthaura is the President’s ‘enforcer’ and meets and talks with him daily. So convicting him amounts to convicting the boss albeit indirectly.

In response Kibaki has smartly hinted to the ICC that he is changing the goal posts following their ruling on the Ocampo 4. You don't have to be a genius when you read in between the lines of the statement: ''The President said with the new Constitution, Kenya now has a "RADICALLY" transformed judiciary system as well as a functional witness programme along with a police service that is undergoing reforms. In other words the ICC may be told as dissenting Judge Hans‐Peter Kaul pointed out the charges are equally actionable before Kenyan laws and will be dealt with LOCALLY.

President Kibaki has gone further to make the ICC ruling a government project. It is no longer about individuals accused and Kibaki has accordingly ordered the Attorney General Githu Muiga to immediately form a legal panel that will advice government on how to respond to Monday's ruling by ICC pre-trial judges. The President has also for the umpteenth time ordered resettlement of IDPs.

Well, even the dissenting Judge Hans‐Peter Kaul has indirectly declared Kenya a failed state by acknowledging the gravity of the accusations which could be tried (but unable) locally.

The hot air about resettling the IDPs is another indictment of the government's inertia in addition to instituting local prosecutions to other PEV suspects.



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Wow, ninety years can surely arrive sooner in less than three calender years. Nobody saw this coming. Nobody predicted this verdict either. The post election violence victims had long resigned to their unfortunate fate of life in squalor. The IDPs have been left starring at another five-year wave of displacement. The suspects were thumbing their big chests rubbishing the ICC and mocking its ruling to have no bearing on their political careers. Most Kenyans had retreated to their tribal enclaves spoiling for the next polituical fight.

Well, the party has been rained on heavily. That soft-spoken diminutive figure, the Bulgarian Law Professor Ekaterina Trendafilova has struck hard where it hurts most. The International Criminal Court (ICC) has finally confirmed charges against four of the Ocampo 6. The ICC ruled that Uhuru Kenyatta, Francis Muthaura, William Ruto and Joshua Sang will stand trial over violence after the 2007 election. Meanwhile charges were not confirmed for both Henry Koskey and ex-police boss Hussein Ali. A sigh of relief but maybe not an acquittal.

All the Ocampo 6 were accused of crimes against humanity, including murder and persecution. What a delicate balancing act for the Judges to acquit and convict one and two from both sets of suspects. And that definitely opens the floodgates for imaginative conspiracy theorists.

The ICC ruling has been long coming and Kenyan politics will never be the same again. One thin is for sure impunity has been dealt a deadly blow. The cycle of political violence has been consigned to a very deep grave.

The ICC has made both political and legal statements. Kenya is bigger than the sum of her various tribal warlords and nobody is above the law. It has been a long time coming let the game begin.

One fundamental fact is discern able from this ICC ruling and that is court battles are never won with the press nor with theatrics. The only common denominator between Koskey and Ali was their humility and legal focus to fight their corner. On the other hand the convicted four had all their molars out playing to the gallery. Well, the judges had a different persuasion albeit unpleasant.

Thank God for small mercies, a Kenyan court would have seen plethora of counter injunctions by now. Don't mind the fact that such a case would have not taken off in the first place.

One thing is for sure, the 2012 general elections will be like no other and the face of Kenyan politics will never be the same again.

Wapi WIPER?

Make no mistake, the ICC verdict has just opened a can of worms. So far all we know is from Ocampo's redacted dose. Kenyans must brace themselves to handle the bitter and nasty truth when the true full trial begins. That is when suspects will cut deals and when the s*@t hits the fun your guess is as good as mine, NOBODY (repeat NOBODY) is safe nor immune to ICC coolers.

Now that ICC has separated the apples from guavas, Kenyans will predictably interpret the ruling under three themes: political, ethnic and personal. Well, the often forgotten fourth dimension that never mutates remain the TRUTH. Take your pick.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Verdict on the Ocampo 6: Evidence the ICC Should Not Miss

BREAKING NEWS: ICC Confirms charges against 4 of the 6

We have been told that the Kenyan anti-riot police are on full alert in readiness for the announcement by the ICC on whether the Ocampo 6 will stand trial or not.

Why?

Why should anybody riot and cause chaos when some super rich (ill-gotten wealth) Kenyan individual is found to have a case to answer in a court of law that has to be more impartial than the Kenyan judicial system which has time and again declared that our corrupt leaders are actually clean "Kama pamba"?

The answer should be obvious. Only a tribal war Lord can provoke that kind of reaction (or is it organize those kind of chaos). No?

And that is exactly the kind of evidence that the ICC should be looking for to strengthen their case when they confirm the charges against the Ocampo 6 shortly.

So let them bring it on. Let them go into the streets and cause chaos and give us a glimpse of exactly the kind of things they got up to in January 2008. ICC prosecutors please pay close attention.

* *

Folks are asking me to make a prediction on what the ICC verdict will be and I don't think it is fair for me to do so. But what I can say is that the evidence against two individuals (both presidential candidates) is so overwhelming that if they go scott free then all 6 should go free.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

What You Didn’t Know: Virginity Can Easily Be Restored

Kumekucha Weekend Features
For centuries a very important do-or-die part of a wedding was where the man would get a moment in private with his bride and penetrate her for the very first time. This would be done under supervision by elders and close to white sheets which would naturally be bloodied and then brought out and displayed before all the distinguished guests. Only then would the Champagne be brought out so to speak. No bloody sheets no wedding, it was as simple as that.

Indeed this is still being practiced in many cultures the world over. But still, today most of the world has changed and virgins are an extremely endangered species, some would say they are almost extinct. Or so you may have thought.

And you would be wrong in this assumption because the truth is that the number of virgins are currently growing at break neck speed courtesy of a simple surgical procedure that completely restores a woman’s virginity and thus destroys any evidence that any man has ever been there before. What is left of the hymen is stitched together and reconstructed in a simple procedure called hymenorraphy. In cases where the hymen is not enough, additional tissue from the vaginal wall is used to make a complete hymen and restore precious virginity to any lass who wants it back.

Done properly, even another doctor examining the woman will be fooled and certify her a virgin medically.
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Woman violently rapes man until he lands in hospital Video
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Although this procedure is not considered a part of gynecology, it is making some shrewd surgeons a fortune literally overnight. More so in cultures where there can be no wedding without a hymen. It is also widely available in some plastic surgery centres in the West and especially in the United States.

Some pretty amazing statistics are being touted by supporters of this crafty cheat-a-man-and-get-your-own-back procedure. It is said that it has been single-handedly responsible for reducing the number of women being murdered when a bride is found not to be a virgin, by a staggering 80 percent in Egypt alone over the last 10 years. Wow!!

But even more fascinating is a deft touch added to the procedure. Apart from reconstructing the hymen, a gelatin capsule which contains a blood-like substance is added for effect. And so when the hymen is ruptured by the cheated man “blood” spurts out. Probably enough to soak a good white sheet and delight the wedding guests about to take in Nyama choma and bloody mutura. (what an appetizer the virgin blood on the sheets must be!).

This fake but effective virginity costs between US $100 and $600. At least that is what women in Egypt are gladly paying. In Turkey getting your virginity back is estimated to cost between $140 and $1500 a pop.

Now there are a host of issues that are raised by this procedure. Proponents point to the fact that there are many ways the hymen can be accidentally “punctured” even without sexual intercourse and this procedure has saved the lives of many innocent women who have never had sex but still end up dying on their wedding night any way. Critics point to the obvious fact that a lot of men will get cheated. But then many women will counter back that women get cheated all the time by men who never have to carry any visible and obvious signs that they are not virgins.

I can already see the advertisements for this procedure which should be with us very soon;

- Cause a man to worship you, get married virgin even if your immediate former profession was an escort girl.
- Get the wedding night that was intended for you from the beginning of time.
- Get your own back on men prove to him that you are a virgin while being careful not to cause him a heart attack.

In neighboring Zanzibar it is common for young girls under intense pressure to have only anal sex with their boyfriends until their wedding night. The health repercussions of this kind of sexual activity, which includes passing stool without any control, are enormous. And so those who can afford a flight to Egypt and $100 will have another way of having their cake and eating it as well.

Surely the end of the world is not too far off!!

See also;

I regret revealing mini skirt I wore the day I was carjacked and raped at Imara Daima Estate

Kenya Beauty Queens Who Lost Launch Facebook Page To Expose Their Colleagues For Spreading Their Legs To Win

Woman has epileptic fit every time she tries to be with a man

Campus girl makes Kshs 20,000 a month selling pregnancy testing kits to fellow students

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Court Rules 2013 Most Likely Election Year

Updates

The law may be an ass but how do the so-called constitutional court reconcile these three conflicting provisions of the new set of law if they are to avoid being seen as fenceseatters or partisan at worst :


1) They went y Section 9 of the Sixth Schedule which states that the first elections for the President, National Assembly, Senate, County Assemblies and Governors shall be held within 60 days after the dissolution of Parliament at the end of its term (do we have we have Senate, County Assemblies or Governors presently?).

2) They state that the Sixth Schedule is independent of the provisions of Article 101 which provides for elections in the second Tuesday of August hence the term of the National Assembly cannot be shorter that five years and that (new wine bottled in old wine skins?).

3) As per Article 255 of the Constitution, an amendment to the Constitution affecting the term of the President cannot be effected into law without a referendum (Kibaki's term ends on 30 December, 2012 so elections in March 2013 leaves a vacuum?)


I hope there is an IVY LEAGUE lawyer out there to please clarify!

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The much awaited court ruling on when Kenyans will go the polls came in a few moments ago and the initial reaction is that it is NOT good news for most.

Essentially the ruling says that unless the two principals dissolve the coalition then we will have to wait until the expiry of the current parliament which will be January 15th and then go to the polls 60 days after that which will be mid March 2013.

The vast majority of Kenyans on the ground sense mischief in pushing the elections to 2013. But naturally they are not aware of the fact that the law is the law. And it can hardly be twisted to suit anybody’s whims. The law which brought about the coalition government that we have suffered under for the last four long years (which actually feels more like 8 years) superseded many other laws of the land, including the new constitution it now seems.

But some important points to note here so that we don’t loose perspective;

• The most likely mid March 2013 election date is barely 3 months after the most popular suggested date for the general elections so far which is in December 2012.

• It is also about 7 months or so after the August date the new constitution talks about.

• It is NOT a whole year later.

Still the mood on the ground is that any extra hours longer than necessary that the current parliament and leadership remains in office is too long. And to most people it seems that the elections have been put back a whole year!

To be very honest there is still too much to be done legislatively so much so that the most realistic date for Kenyans to go to the polls is after January 31st 2013. That is the truth.

But then who cares about the truth when it is politics and the mood of the country we are talking about? Long suffering Kenyans have good reason to feel what they are feeling after decades of very bad leadership and this is the main reason why there is always so much excitement and anticipation whenever a new election comes up. It offers new hope to the people that things will change for the better. This time round the anticipation is at fever pitch because of the new constitution Kenyans so unanimously passed into law. A constitution written mostly with the blood of the people of Kenya a fact which many of us conveniently chose to forget way too often. Although just now it may be a little easier to remember because neighbouring Tanzania is clamoring for a new constitution and already it seems that the road is going to be very long and treacherous probably even more so than what Kenyans went through because baba na mama CCM (Chama Cha Mapinduzi) will not let go of power that easily. And unlike Kanu in the 1980s this is a party that has tentacles reaching into every small nook and cranny of Tanzanian life. So much so that many ordinary Tanzanians wryly call house flys “CCM”. The CCM juggernaut is the very heart beat of this vast underdeveloped sleeping giant of a nation whose citizens mostly envy Kenyans just because they can speak English. But that is not Kumekucha’s jurisdiction and so let us come back to Kenya shall we.

My take is that the ruling of the constitutional court on the next general elections has had the effect of causing the very unpopular leadership in the country to become even more unpopular in the eyes of the people.


Political joke of the week;
Little Njoro of Buru estate in Nairobi wanted Kshs 1,000 badly and prayed to God for two weeks but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the Kshs 1,000. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God from Buru buru in Kenya, they decided to send it to State House.

The letter never even got to the president but an aide was very touched and so he sent the boy Kshs 200. He felt that this was a lot of money for a small kid.

Njoro was delighted when he received the Kshs 200 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:

Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through State House and, as usual, those crooks deducted a whole Kshs 800. My teacher tells me that you never forget, but did you not this once forget that Kenya is one of the most corrupt countries in the world and that as my dad is always saying corruption starts at the top?

I suggest you send an angel next time.

Thanks,
Njoro.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Why Baraza is Still in Office: Kwenda Rokota Hio Mtu

One of the pet subjects of this blog right from inception has been how there are two completely different laws. One for the Kerubos and another for the Barazas. This is in keeping with the Kenyan tradition of having two of everything; businessmen have two books of accounts one for the KRA and the other for personal use, majority Kenyan men have two women, one to bear their children the other for “hepi”.

Over the years I have given many examples including the one where the police are a favourite option for debt collection. In one case I personally witnessed a couple of years ago, this guy was owed 700 bob for some products they had given on credit. He bribed the police 1000 bob to have the guy picked up. He was locked up until a relative turned up to pay 3000 bob (includes interest). Nice tidy profit and they got paid. Was this Kenyan a genius or what?

In the spirit of the new constitution many Kenyans had hoped that the law would start being a little more equal but alas, the Nancy Baraza saga proves that this is just not the case.

We know that in the Baraza case the police have said they have enough evidence to prosecute. So what are they waiting for? If Ms Baraza was an ordinary Kenyan she would have been in police cells for the last 11 days waiting for the police to make that decision.

Kwenda rokota hio mtu (go pick up that person) is a well known Kenya police mantra. If you were some nobody Kenyan resisting being searched at the Village market on the date that my birthday falls on, a phone call later somebody at Gigiri police station would have been barking that order; Kwenda rokota hio mtu. That would have been due process for them.

Instead 11 days later Ms Baraza is still at large,

One good thing that has come out of this whole episode is that Kenyans have learnt the true character of their deputy CJ. She has not had the common decency to read the writing on the wall and hand in her resignation. Instead she has opted to cling to her office as if she were clinging to dear life. Very Kenyan and very disgusting.

And then some brute of a man comes out and makes a statement to the effect that “big people” are always being harassed by small security people in the country every day. Had Hon Fred Gumo been an ordinary Kenyan he would now be rotting in jail serving multiple sentences. The man has assaulted so many Kenyans (including the famous slapping of a returning officer who happened to be a woman during a general election) that using the term “brute” to describe him is being very kind. Is he trying to make excuses for the deputy CJ just because she comes from his part of the world (tribalism?)? Or is it because the DCJ let off Kerubo lightly with only a pinch of the nose when Gumo angechafua?

Why don’t we change the constitution so that we constitute committees (or even better commissions to enquire into the conduct of…) to deliberate every time somebody commits a crime?

P.S. Fred Gumo... suggested that security guards be trained on how to treat VIPs.

He said it was unfair that some of them were subjected to public embarrassment by guards who do not know them. “In this country we have people who are important. If you are an important person – if you are a minister like me, fortunately I am known by most of the security people. There are people who have just been appointed. They should handle people with care, not roughing them .”

The part that had be rolling on the floor was when he said; "fortunately I am known by most security people.”

Of course Bwana Gumo, you are known for your extremely violent ways.