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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Kumekucha Person of the Year 2010 Is...

Despite her involvement in the Kibaki electroral theft of 2007 (still we are talking about 2010 and NOT 2007 or 2008). The iron lady has bounced back and this year played a critical role politically that impacted the largest number of Kenyans positively. Karua’s gigantic achievements this year include her pivotal role in consensus building that saw the successful passing of the new constitution in parliament and then the successful campaign in the referendum that followed giving Kenyans what has eluded them for over two decades. Not to mention her position in many debates in the August house that has tended to reflect the will of the people.

This is the presidential candidate that Kumekucha would be happy to support and vouch for in 2012. It is our official position that Kenyan voters should quit doing the same thing (electing men) and expecting different results and go for a woman president this time round. One of the things this could do is help diffuse the tribal emotions that have dogged our politics with such tragic results. It is my firm belief that Karua can duplicate in Kenya what the other Iron lady Margaret Thatcher did for Britain (I doubt whether the Brits will see such prosperity again).

She may not be very lovable and she is certainly not as sexy as Charity Ngilu but she can certainly get the job done and deliver results. She may just be the person to help us usher in the brand new Kenya we all so eagerly yearn for.

Despite her involvement in helping Kibaki achieve the evil of 2007 election fraud, she cannot be held fully responsible. The buck stops with the president himself and those close to him have to follow orders and do as instructed. We are not absolving her, she still stands accused for that terrible chapter in Kenyan history but sometimes the greatest achievers are those who have fallen and risen again or made terrible mistakes and still bounced back. Martha “comeback” Karua has surely transformed herself beautifully for the good of the Kenyan people.

First Runner Up: Gitobu Imanyara

Second runner up: Mohamed Abdikadir

I have included comments in red below next to some of the other nominations.

1. Martha Karua

2. Gitobu Imanyara.

3. COE (commitee of Experts)

4. PLO Lumumba (was in contention but it is still too early to start popping the Champaign.)

5. Mohamed Abdikadir (Led a team and indeed achieved a lot-that is why he ended up 3rd. But he cannot take the lion’s share of the credit just because he was in the limelight most.)

6. Manu Chandaria

7. Caroline Mutoko

The most evil 3 square kilometres of dirt in Kenya (the post everybody is talking about)

The Most Evil Address in Kenya

Quick quiz for you who believe you are experts on Kenya.

Which is easily the most evil place in Kenya? So evil is this place that one can comfortably say that no other piece of dirt within the borders of Kenya has housed such a large collection of evil in the history of Kenya as this 3 square kilometer piece of land very close to the Nairobi CBD has. And it is not Kamiti Maximum Security prison. Still, countless injustices and cold blooded murders have been planned and monitored from within the compound of this evil wretched place. And the mischief did not even start recently, it started way back in 1907 shortly after this building was completed.

Answer: State House Nairobi. (formerly Government House). The official residence of the most evil office in Kenya.

If you read my landmark book, Dark Secrets of the Kenyan Presidency you will quickly grasp what I am talking about and concur with what I am saying here.

This is the place where the Kiambu Mafia would drink late into the night scheming the assassination of real and perceived threats to the president. Goldenberg was hatched here. And so was Goldenberg. And lots of other evil as is detailed in my book, Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency. Discover what Moi's most guarded secret is.

But for the purposes of this post I will focus on the most recent evils committed that can be directly linked to this place. This address that politicians dream and scheme day and night to get to live in one day.

But first an interesting tit bit. This building was built to serve as the official residence of the Governor of British East Africa when Kenya was a British Colony. The governor would conduct his official functions at the old Provincial Commissioner’s office (now a national monument) next to Nyayo House and then retire to Government House for the day. However at independence President Jomo Kenyatta used it mainly as an office and meeting place and would mostly spend the night at his Gatundu home when he was in Nairobi (which was rare because he preferred State house Nakuru or Mombasa). President Moi was not very different and would retire to his Kabaret Gardens home from State house at the end of the day. But Kibaki is totally different. He lives in State house Nairobi and rarely ever ventures out of the place. Those who believe in evil places influencing the character and decisions of a person will be quick to point out that the blood bath under President Kibaki has been unprecedented. But a post on superstition is not for this blog so we shall stick to the politics and the facts.

The events that followed shortly after Mwai Kibaki ascended into the presidency and started exercising the functions of this extremely powerful office in 2003 are revealing. You will remember that the Kibaki administration looked very shaky at the beginning. So shaky that various politicians and even this blog started predicting that it would not last until 2007 when the next elections were due. It was around this time that handlers of President Kibaki started sending out feelers to retired President Moi. This was at a time when relationship between the two men was at it’s lowest. The bad blood was to change so dramatically that by the time the 2007 elections arrived Kenyans were talking about the Kibaki/Moi alliance. Admittedly whatever advice Moi gave to Kibaki dramatically stabilized the Kibaki administration so that it arrived at those elections fairly steady and capable of deling with all manner of threats. Sadly one of the things identified as a serious threat was a Raila Odinga presidency.

So what is this advice that Moi gave that was so critical to the stability of an administration? The answer will baffle most Kenyans. This blogger has evidence to suggest that an inner core of secret advisors/think tank with very close links to the NSIS was set up whose man task was to take care of the “security of the state.” In Kenya that simply means protecting the presidency from any would-be threats (real or imagined).

It is this inner core of secret advisors who first got wind of what special ICC prosecutor Luis Moreno Ocampo was planning in his promise to the Kenyan people to deal with those most responsible for the post election troubles of 2007/2008. Predictably, the think tank set about exterminating this threat and this is what culminated in the shocking move that saw the passing of the anti-ICC bill in parliament. Indeed it was passed unanimously.

The executive has a long history of interfering with the legislature but some observers are sure that things have changed dramatically in recent years and that there is now very little if any influence from State house. That would be political naivety of the highest order. The truth is that in issues that really matter to the executive (like an appearance at the ICC after the president leaves office) State house plays it bear knuckled when it comes to having its’ way in the August house which has increasingly gained an image of independence in the eyes of Kenya. The truth is that only the methods have changed. In the old days it was threats and intimidation by the sheer power of the office of the president. These days the main currency is information, mostly information that would be detrimental to the lives of legislators if followed up on or made public. There are also plenty of political deals made taking full advantage of the current political troubles facing various legislators. It is a lot of hard work, but then the think tank are very well paid and they have no other work.

Kenyans should very seriously consider amending the yet to be implemented constitution so as to get rid of the office of the president.

What is Moi's most guarded secret?

The darkest and most dangerous secrets of the Moi Presidency

So you think you know everything about Jomo Kenyatta?

Breaking News: Gerishon Kirima is dead

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Most popular Kumekucha articles on Facebook

Everybody is on Facebook these days and it has become a very important source of traffic for Kumekucha cutting edge political posts.

Below I have listed the top 10 most shared Kumekucha articles on Facebook.
Click on the articles you missed and ENJOY!!

1. You Missed This: The Nakumatt Supermarkets Money Laundering Mystery

2. You Missed This: Masai African Tribe Sexual Secrets: Sex Tourism And The Nude Tribe That Attracts Wh

3. You Missed This: Open email letter to Ocampo: Kenyans want you to go straight for these 3

4. You Missed This: This evil man called Moi

5. You Missed This: A Page From The Waki Report: Should These People Be Given Amnesty?

6. You Missed This: Joshua Kulei: Little formal education but extremely street smart

7. You Missed This: Orgasmic Statehouse Calculations

8. You Missed This: Has Raila made this deal with Kibaki?

9. You Missed This: Three Down, Now KACC Steps on Live Wire

10. You Missed This: Cabinet ministers and their famous girlfriends

Christmas shocker Extended by PUBLIC DEMAND!!!!!!
Somebody sent me an angry email calling me fake for offering such a gift when I know everybody is away from their office computers for the Christmas holidays. I have therefore decided to extend this offer for a very limited time only. Please tell all your freinds about it.

My free special gift to all of you this festive season is the FULL digital version of my best-selling book
Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency. It is the whole entire book, not a single page has been left out. It is in pdf format. It is what my clients have been paying Kshs 1,350 for. Just send a blank email NOW to

kumekuchaspecialoffers@gmail.com

Do it now, the offer is still ONLY for a very limited time.

Tale of Two Principals: Kenya's Poisoned Export

Different countries same political game and crisis. Cote d'Ivoire is slowly but surely coasting to bloodbath. The electoral commission of Ivory Coast must have competently read our own ECK's script except the judicial appeal court there went a step further knowing which side of their bread was buttered and by who. It is a battle of the titans pitting two already SWORN-IN presidents, the incumbent Laurent Gbagbo (what a name, from Pungoma?) and ex-IMF chief Alassane Ouattara.

Double standards galore from the international community when it comes to Africa's never-ending political crises. Where is Annan and his troope of Imminent persons to save Cote d'Ivoire from self-destruction? These clowns appeared in Kenya in a flash while for almost two months the world watches as (DULY ELECTED) Gbagbo overturns Alassane Ouattara's victory. This will definitely be godsend cannon fodder for the deluded e-high priests who often wax lyrical and intellectual about doomsday and neo-colonialism. Well, let the REAL intellectuals cannibalize the latest standoff to spin yarns and revise alien theories on sovereignty and imperialism.

Ivory Coast's election standoff is is compounded further by AU's obtuse goof in appointing Kenya's PM Raila Odinga to mediate on the same. What a feat for AU to recognize Kenya's dubious electoral exploits and dutifully help export that fraud to Ivory Coast? AU's latest move amounts to either an apt exercise in continental mischief or a jaundiced set-a-thief-to-catch-a-thief mission (read use a victim to sooth the pains of another victim).

Predictably the incumbent President Laurent Gbagbo will see AU's move as belittling him by sending a non-head of state (read peer, BIG MAN) to talk him out of power. Make no mistake, the local mouthful idea of co-principals is only known in Kenya.

The parallel between Ivory Coast and Kenya ends at the fact that the DEFEATED Gbagbo was hastily sworn in after losing the elections to Ouattara. With the army and judiciary at his beck and call, the so-called international community must revise their strategy to deal with a SITTING head of state. Bottom line, this is Africa and even the toothless AU knows its noise will not amounts to nothing but hot air.

Just like patriotic Kenyans prefix all their pronouncements with SOVEREIGNTY, Gbagbo has demanded the ex-colonial power France and the 10,000 strong UN peacekeeping force protecting Ouattara's government to leave. He can as well add, GO EAST. His Excellency Gbagbo must be laughing his head off at ECOWAS' threat of so-called legitimate force. Only in Africa do we have unique problems and mint ORIGINAL solutions. We haven't seen anything yet from Gbagbo and his lieutenants. And they are in very good company.

The plot thicken given that Raila already muddied the waters early this month by demanding Gbagbo to vacate office. It appears the PM has more space to stomach and top-up the wrath he invited from Robert Mugabe sometimes back. But just like Kenya, Ivory Coast has its owners and Ouattara is better reminded that he is an alien clinging to the coat tails of the international community to subvert the will of the people.

Well, let wild and exotic conspiracy theories begin in earnest. Bring them on!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Impunity bounces back…

…and why the Kenyan parliament has committed mass suicide

Based on a true story: The teenage boy was a real expert on snakes. He had started handling the slippery slithery reptiles that put so much fear in most when he was a very young child. He would catch the harmless water ones on the side of the Ewaso Nyiro river near his home. But on this fateful day he was distracted by many things including the fact that the very next day he was set to leave for University. He would be away from this place he called home which he loved so much.
On his right hand he held a deadly slithering snake and on his left he struggled with a glove. Suddenly the slippery slithering thing slipped from his grasp and bit his hand sinking its’ fangs into his flesh and releasing the potent venom into his bloodstream before disappearing under the table. He was alone and by the time somebody else got to him he was unable to speak. His mother arrived and desperately tried to get the dieing boy to tell him where the antidote was (kept in the same room) that would quickly reverse the deadly effects of the snake bite. But it was all in vain. Did you know that if a person is injected with the wrong antidote it can easily kill them? To cut a long story short the boy died with the secret of the correct antidote to save his life stuck somewhere between his brain and tongue.

That rather sad scene from the movie I dreamed of Africa based on a true story in Kenya has stuck on my mind and refused to leave since the dramatic events of Wednesday in parliament. Actually it describes very accurately exactly what happened in the August house as impunity made a dramatic comeback shortly after many including yours truly had strated writing lengthy obituaries.

Let’s cut to the chase. Old man impunity has fought back dramatically and delivered a deadly bite on our right hand even when we though we had him. And he has taken advantage of diversionary tactics. It is no accident that the same day that parliament unanimously passed a bill urging the government to withdraw from the Rome statute, leader of government business professor George Saitoti read out a list of drug barons in parliament. Regular readers of Kumekucha have had that list for a very long time but not everybody reads Kumekucha and so it stunned the nation and effectively diverted a lot of attention away from the other thing that the MPs did and its’ legal implications. Actually it was the main thing they were after. In other words what thye had done was start a fire at Police headquarters to rob the Central bank.

The passing of the ICC motion effectively means that the Attorney-General Amos Wako must table a Bill in Parliament to repeal the International Crimes Act. He cannot ignore a resolution of the house and get away with it without facing the wrath of the legislators. Indeed it is unlikely that he will do so because although the bill was sponsored by a back bencher, Isaac Ruto Vice president Kalonzo Musyoka insisted that the bill was “government business” which means that Wako will quickly comply right on cue.

The passing of the bill also means that the executive (Kibaki and Raila) will have to write to the United nations and notify them of Kenya’s withdrawal.

What all this does is to send a very clear message to the International community that Kenya is not interested in fighting impunity. Hardly surprising when you know the history

Sorry folks it seems that Kenyans started writing the obituary for old man impunity too soon. But once again the fact that the headquarters of impunity is the executive has been underlined very clearly because what happened in parliament was carefully choreographed at State house long before it unfolded before the eyes of shocked Kenyans. Complete with the reading of the list of legislators who are drug king pins which was designed to get Kenyans attention away from the deadly snake bite that impunity delivered shortly after that. Now my earlier post about the whole Mwai Kibaki game plan to stay away from the Hague has been emphatically confirmed. Including the co-operation of PM Raila Odinga and his ODM party. See this earlier post.

If you have not read my landmark book Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency there is no better time to do so than now more so when I have a special offer today that allows you to get your hands on the gem of a book for free. See the bottom of this post and act quickly because I am pulling out the offer pretty soon as the numbers rapidly get overwhelming.

At first glance the whole move to withdraw Kenya from the ICC does not make legal sense. Mainly because of the following reasons;

I) Article 2(4) of the new Constitution gives the ICC authority to arrest the suspects under customary international law. And so Kenya is legally obligated to hand over the suspects even if they are no longer in the ICC.

II) The cases were filed while Kenya was under legally committed to obeying the Rome Statute and so it does not affect the Ocampo 6 and the inevitable.

III) In any case the withdrawal cannot take place earlier than 12 months after the request for withdrawal is received (more evidence that somebody is thinking of 2012 and thereafter)

However if you study the past impunity of the presidency in Kenya then you will quickly realize that the whole thing is part of a wider scheme to discredit the ICC and dilute it’s influence, especially in Africa. What will follow is a campaign in the African Union (AU) and elsewhere to the effect that Africa is sovereign and should be left to handle her own problems within the continent.

Whatever happens next it seems that President Kibaki will soon be another Al Bashir of Sudan, a fugitive with very limited travel options. More so when he leaves office in 2 years time. And so will the Ocampo 6 if formally indicted.

But the good news my fellow Kenyans is that the political class has just committed mass suicide. What they have done will unite Kenyan voters more than ever before against them in 2012. Just watch angry voters wipe the slate, that is the Kenyan political scene, clean. For better or for worse that is pretty exciting.

Christmas shocker!!!!!!
My free special gift to all of you this festive season is the FULL digital version of my best-selling book Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency. It is the whole entire book, not a single page has been left out. It is in pdf format. It is what my clients have been paying Kshs 1,350 for. Just send a blank email NOW to

kumekuchaspecialoffers@gmail.com

Do it now, the offer is ONLY for a very limited time.

Of Drug Barons, Rogue Envoy and Poisoned ICC

Kudos to Juja MP William Kabogo for being smart enough and not naive to provoke an EXCUTIVE foul mood.

Only in Kenya do you find the title Honourable before the name of a drug baron. And the Kenyan voter love them while the Diaspora applaud the bling bling MPs as hard working. Woe unto you envious, lazy mortals for questioning the source of their wealth. Make no mistake, these monsters rule us from both sides of the political divide.

The Muslim clerics crying foul about drug abuse at the Coast finds themselves in a catch 22 with Joho and Punjani named as prime drug pushers. Mark you Ali Punjani donated a cool KES 6m cash and Joho 1m to President Kibaki during the Lamu fund raiser. That tells you alot about the dearth and/or abuse of intelligence and integrity among our leaders. These smart alecs know when to stealthily buy political insurance from the safest and most powerful covers.

Before we foam at the mouth shouting imperialism and neo-colonialism, we must accept that it was one ROGUE Michael Renneberger who belled these wild cats. It would be business as usual without the envoy's dossier. Meanwhile Kenyan youth would continue imbibing narcotics and transforming themselves into zombies as the drug barons laugh their way to the banks.

Exposing so-called honourable MPs as drug barons is the strongest proof of our rotten politics. Our hell-for-leather mentality manifested in blind worship for monetary success at whatever cost comes with very destructive consequences. But who cares when we envy Kabogo's and Mwau's choppers as they buy the voters' conscience with dirty money? I guess sharing comes in different forms and shapes.

The genesis of impunity is failure to hold people to account. And the tribal kings know Kenyans better. Just look at the chorus to withdraw Kenya from ICC to save just six out of 40m people - forget about the eyesore that is the IDPs. With the exported villagers aka Diaspora dusting up their local loyalties, the war on impunity was lost even before it all began.

Luis Moreno-Ocampo may have been a professor at Harvard but Kenya's political class will serve him his deadliest Waterloo. Remember we had a professor of realpolitik who never had a degree (tell it to the birds!). You don't have to be a neurologist to imagine Ruto's fraud case expedited and possibly (artificially) jailed locally and Ocampo is left chasing his own tail.

Poor Amigo Moreno is better advised that Kenya has its owners. And lest he forgets, Kenya is not Sudan or Liberia or Serbia. He hasn't seen the last of this thriller made and directed by real and true kings of impunity. Sovereignty my foot!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Dark Secrets of the Kenyan Presidency













 








What those who have read it have to say about this landmark book from the controversial blogger known as Kumekucha Chris;
“I couldn’t put it down”

“It kept me up the whole night.”

“Hauntingly true about the real root of all political evil in Kenya.”

“Nobody can claim to understand Kenyan politics without reading, studying and analyzing this beautifully written book.”

“Hauntingly sad. The institution of the presidency must be abolished now.”

"Marvelous work by Kumekucha, the book suddenly came to an end, too soon for me and that is when I realized I had been up half the night reading it. Who is this Kumekucha Chris anyway? A seasoned journalist during the day and a mystery blogger at night... perhaps?"

At the back of the book
Dark secrets of the Kenyan Presidency explores the office of the presidency through some rarely-told (and some never-before-told) incidences surrounding this bigger than life office created by Jomo Kenyatta and the founders of the Kenyan nation. “This thing” they created grew and became an enormous un-tameable beast that has caused untold distress, suffering and death to Kenyans.

Kumekucha’s account is mostly angry and dissects this subject ruthlessly without fear or favour. The tone is very much that one of his blog which has received worldwide attention sometimes in praise and at other times in condemnation but is certainly a blog that cannot be ignored. The result here is a thought-provoking account that will forever change your views about this all powerful office which has the kind of powers under the constitution Kenyans have lived with for decades that would be the envy of any god.

The Kumekucha blog was launched in May 2005 by a blogger who only reveals his first name, Chris. The site continues to shape political opinion for many Kenyans locally and spread all over the world. This is the first in a series of books that will be published from information researched and written by the blogger known to his adoring readers and sharp critics alike as Chris Kumekucha.















Get sections of this book for FREE by sending an email now to; darksecrets@listwire.com (you will get an instant response).

Has Raila made this deal with Kibaki?

This is a rumour I have been repeatedly hearing for almost a year and a half now. However I have failed to verify the information and like many of the other tips I receive all the time, I have been ignoring it.
But now it seems that recent political developments are confirming it more and more by the day and I can’t help but revisit what I have been told and look at it next to recent happenings.

The information is that PM Raila Odinga has made a deal with Mwai Kibaki that he will support the fight to keep the latter away from any Hague prosecution (even after he leaves the presidency in 2012) and in return the president will mobilize the support of Central province to back Raila to the hilt for the presidency in 2012. That supposedly 2012 winning team will consist of Raila as President and Uhuru as his running mate and Vice president.

Let me first repeat what I have said here in this blog many times. Raila Odinga’s contributions to Kenya are considerable but he will never be president of Kenya. He is probably one of the best presidents Kenya will never have. Sadly he won the 2007 elections and should be serving as President right now. But alas his chance has passed. In the next general elections Kenyans will elect a fresh crop of people who have mostly never been in mainstream politics again, starting from the president. This determination to give the motherland a real fresh start with the new constitution is gathering momentum by the day and will be unstoppable by the time we go to the polls. But that is a story for another day and another controversial post. For now the most tell tale sign that there could have been a deal is the strange behaviour of ODN after Ocampo released his list.

An official statement from the ODM high command and parliamentary group shortly after the Ocampo 6 was named drowned in all the hype and noise” from PNU operatives. However the statement speaks volumes and explains why there seems to be a deafening silence from ODM members.

The carefully worded statement expressed solidarity with the Ocampo 6 including William Ruto who has fallen out badly with the party chairman in recent months. Individuals within the party who have always advocated for a Hague solution have been strangely quiet.

So as ODM and it’s leading lights changed their minds about the Hague being the best chance to strike a mortal blow on old man impunity?

Even stranger is the fact that despite the ODM MPs have failed to respond to thinly veiled attacks at the PM by PNU legislators who are saying that the whole Ocampo thing has been orchestrated by a presidential candidate who wants to clear away competitors for the high office ahead of the 2012 polls.

But some PNU supporters have confused the issue even further by claiming that William Ruto and Henry Kosgei’s defense will implicate Raila. Actually, insiders have revealed shocking details to this blogger of what exactly happened at the height of the post election skirmishes. Interestingly these insiders were close supporters of Ruto. From what they say, Raila did not play any role in the skirmishes. If anything he annoyed Kalenjins greatly by “being scared.”

I found the following two statements from some of those I spoke to fascinatingly revealing;

“When things got really hot, Raila was scared but Ruto was excited and wanted war.”

“Kenyans have forgotten that if it hadn’t been for Ruto’s bravery and that of the Kalenjin’s Kibaki’s election theft would have been allowed to stand and today ODM would be in the opposition and Raila would be a nobody. Instead Raila flys around the world on government money and gets his toilet paper paid for by the state while spitting on the faces of Kalenjins.

So what really happened in those dark days following the bedroom swearing in of Mwai Kibaki after a stolen presidential election?

According to information from the same insiders and those who were on the ground then, Ruto was swept along in the Kalenjin wave of the time and could do very little to resist. The community was fed up with the Kibaki presidency like most Kenyans but had also been deeply incited against the Kikuyu community by the ODM campaigns. Without doubt a Raila victory would have appeased the community somewhat (although evictions would still have take place but probably with much less blood being spilt). But when Kibaki stole the presidential elections it handed the community the perfect “excuse” to let loose their anger.” Even if Ruto had refused to swim with the wave (and being a politician battling for his political survival against political veterans with much deeper pockets like the Mois, this was highly unlikely) nothing much would have changed. And so the Eldoret North MP had to sing the tune of the mob and he rose to the occasion magnificently. There is no doubt that the bloody violence unleashed in the Rift Valley that continued to spread was what finally brought the stubborn Mwai Kibaki and his PNU diehards to their knees and onto the negotiation table.

Contrary to what many PNU supporters think, calling for mass action is NOT a crime against humanity. Neither is calling for civil disobedience. The PM and his high command are on record for doing both. Having said this, rather than the Ocampo prosecutions smoothing the way for a Raila presidency it has in fact complicated matters considerably. For all intents and purposes it will cause him to lose the whole of the Rift Valley and vast areas of Central province, (with or without Kibaki’s nod) two constituencies that any victorious presidential candidate cannot do without.

It is interesting to note that Uhuru Kenyatta’s first reaction to being named in the Ocampo 6 was that the whole thing was of no consequence. That is certainly not true. Just watch the damage being named on that list will do to all six politicians in the next 6 months. Of course Ruto will be elevated to the status of his famous namesake, Koitalel arap Samoei amongst the Kalenjin community, but that in itself will completely destroy any shred of a national image this so-called presidential candidate had. In other words he is finished politically irrespective of what verdict emerges from the Hague.

P.S. Francis Atwoli is without doubt a presidential candidate for 2012. A misplaced one at that. Plenty of proof for that but the latest is the careless statements he is now making calling the Ocampo 6 heroes (Mashujaa) in a cheap vain attempt to attract the Kalenjin and Kikuyu vote for his presidency. Even if he was a serious candidate I don’t want to elect a president who misuses the word Mashujaa so badly….

Affordable place to go for the Christmas holidays and get treated like a king

Fascinatingly interesting comment in the previous post:

Anonymous said...
some said that kumekucha is dead, yet so many articles in various kenyan newspapers and what have you are beginning to regurgitate posts and comments that have appeared on kumekucha in the last couple of months. mmmmmm. it's very difficult to fool the public all the time.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Jomo Kenyatta Biography: Little Known Amazing Facts

Many available Jomo Kenyatta biography articles and book chapters omit some fascinating and yet embarrassing aspects concerning Kenya’s founding father. One of the amazing little known facts is that there is plenty of evidence to suggest that Jomo Kenyatta may have had a serious drinking problem in his early years.

This would partly explain why when he stopped drinking in 1920, he announced his decision before witnesses. Actually he was accused by the church of two “sinful” crimes, namely marrying without Church rites and drinking liquor. He pleaded guilty to both and solemnly promised to reform. He was further ordered to get married before a European magistrate. The strict church then finally accepted him back in 1923 (after about 3 years of carefully observing him) and in being accepted back at a ceremony Jomo promised to refrain from liquor for the rest of his life (a promise he did not keep).

It would appear that his life looked up considerably after he stopped taking alcohol. For instance he turned part of his Dagoretti home into a provision shop which he called Kinyata Store. Then in 1922 he went on to secure a job at Shs 250 per month (an absolute fortune in those days when a blanket cost less than 50 cents) as stores clerk and water meter reader with Nairobi Municipal Council where John Cook who was his protégé at the church was Water Superintendent. The colonials considered Kikuyus thieves and murderers in those days and this kind of profiling prevented many of them from getting jobs that required very trustworthy people like a stores clerk or meter reader. There is little doubt that the only reason Kenyatta got this opportunity was because of the influence of John Cook and his link with the church at Thogoto for a long time.

Kenyatta bought a motorbike and also built a house at Dagoretti in the same year (1922). He went on to start an active role in politics by becoming a member of the Kikuyu Central Association in the same year. Interestingly the meter-reading job exposed Kenyatta considerably and he met many Asians who would later be key allies and supporters including the owner of the printing press who went on to print his newspaper, Mwigwithania.

With this kind of background it is not surprising that in the speech I carried earlier in this chapter, he spoke out so strongly against the taking of alcohol.

So the question we must busy ourselves with answering now is how this meek old man of the church turn into the feared president everybody wants to remember? Young folks change all the time but Kenyatta was at least 68 years old when he became Kenya’s first prime Minister. How does such an old man change from what he has been all his life?

(excerpts from the amazing book; Dark Secrets of the Kenyan Presidency. Scroll down to the bottom of this page and get this important book NOW for FREE. No Kidding).












DARK SECRETS OF THE KENYAN PRESIDENCY By Kumekucha is a controversial and important book. Now you can get this valuable work for FREE. Simply fill in your name and email address below. Wait for my email because you will need to confirm your order. If you do not receive my response within a few minutes please check your spam folder.

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Saturday, December 18, 2010

SUCCESS: Thank you for ordering your free copy of Dark Secrets of the Kenyan Presidency

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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Why Kibaki Is The Main Target in Ocampo's List of 6

Kenya comes full circle from the Kapenguria Six to the Ocampo six

Nobody would have guessed it but the Kenyatta name entered into the history books of Kenya leadership politics when he was charged with six others in Kapenguria for being not only a member but the leader of an illegal murderous gang called the Mau mau. Almost 60 years later the Kenyatta name is set to exit leadership politics in Kenya with another Kenyatta being charged with directing a murderous gang called the Mungiki.
His excellency President Mwai Kibaki's behaviour in recent months explained.

Admittedly the situation is very different this time round but the similarities are uncanny and more numerous than one would think at first glance. Both trials involved six persons, the earlier case was the Kapenguria six, this time round it is the Ocampo six. Both controversial court cases were a very major turning point in the history of Kenya and destined to lead to the liberation of the Kenyan people with this second one leading to the major liberation of ending impunity in these shores.

And the end of impunity is the underlying messages that many analysts have aptly captured as special ICC prosecutor Luis Moreno Ocampo released his list of six suspects. For the first time the legal strategy of Ocampo can be clearly analyzed. The direction it is leading is shocking and unexpected for many because it is the road to justice and it sticks like a leach to his promises of dealing with those who were most responsible for the violence. The list reveals just how sharp a legal mind the Argentine lawyer is and is a warning volley to the lawyers for the six of what they will be up against in the months to come. But what I personally found even more revealing was that the list subtly and very clearly on my mind explains plenty of political mysteries that have plagued Kenya in recent times.

Let me start with the political mystery explained. In recent months those who have known President Kibaki have been shocked at how the president metamorphosed before their very eyes from a well know permanent caterpillar to the beautiful butterfly that delivered a new constitution that is bound to have far reaching grave consequences on the political class (in fact we have already seen evidence of the fallout starting to happen even before the constitution has been fully implemented).

Could it be that the president was preparing very early for a strong defense at the ICC based on an image of being the number one reformer having personally pushed for and succeeded in getting a new constitution implemented? I mean the guy was fightoing for a new constitution like his life depended on it. Could it be the reason why the president went to such great lengths and expense to invite the most famous fugitive from the ICC, President Al Bashir of Sudan to discredit and reduce the political impact of the ICC court and make a strong case for African cases to be left to the AU to resolve?

When you think about it, it all neatly fits into place like some jigsaw puzzle and makes sense. Especially when you consider that amongst the six on Ocampo’s list are head of Public service Francis Muthaura (a name that shocked many Kenyans and was totally unexpected in the list) and that of the notorious immediate former commissioner of Police Maj Gen Hussein Ali. Both these public servants were at the heart of what triggered the unprecedented killings in Kenya in January 2008. In giving their evidence everything will point straight at where they were taking orders from and that is the head of state. Indeed it will be a repeat of exactly what happened in the case of Sudan where President Al Bashir’s name emerged later as the evidence unfolded in proceedings. His indictment actually happened long after the Sudan trials had commenced.

Impeccable sources have proved to this blogger that the case against the two gentlemen (Ali and Muthaura) will be the easiest to prove, with water tight evidence. An aside here is that many Kenyans (and not just politicians, we see the same disease in the comments in this blog every day) are too fond of opening their mouths too quickly and making comments that display their ignorance and lack of knowledge on many issues. For instance in this case what many forget is that the ICC is not a court designed to prosecute chicken thieves. The guiding principal here is crimes against humanity. What happened in Kenya in January 2008 was so horrifying that any maker of the most scary horror movies in Hollywood will be quickly challenged and their work made to look like fairy tales for toddlers in comparison to what happened within the shores of our beloved country. I tried my best to capture some of that horror when the clamour for blanket amnesty for perpetrators of the post election violence started, led by some very wicked MPs. Regular readers of this blog will remember the statement we published here from a woman who watched her husband being killed and was then gang raped. But barely had a rape started when her attackers felt that the place where they were plunging their male tools in brutal rape was too small and actually proceeded to “widen it” with a panga and then continued to rape amid the blood spurting out in torrents. By some miracle of God that woman survived to tell her story. See her story here.

The legal strategy of using people who were taking orders to lead to the source of the orders is a smart one both legally and politically and for all intents and purposes is bound to work like a charm.

Now we understand why there has been so much panic amongst the political class in recent days and even talk of withdrawing Kenya from the Rome statute which is the most stupid idea I have heard in a long time because notice has to be given of 12 months and withdrawal will not affect ongoing cases in any way.

The old powerful Mafia don that has dominated Kenya for so long like a dark colossus and is called impunity is definitely going down. He is of course going down fighting, but down he is going.

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Ruto and Uhuru Tops The Hague's Gang of Six

Updates
Ocampo has miserably failed the REGIONAL BALANCING test, LOL. And President Kibaki has subsequently called Kenyans' bluff that Uhuru and Muthaura are innocent till proved guilty, so no RESIGNATION, period. These two are special breed and we must not use same political lens applied to Ruto and Wetangula. This is Kenya, MTADO?


Luis Moreno Ocampo has lived to his promise and he has delivered emphatically. The Hague's gang of six have been named as William Ruto, Uhuru Kenyatta, Francis Muthaura, Gen (Rtd) Hussein Ali, Henry Kosgey and one radio executive Joshua Arap Sang.

PS Muthaura MUST be the most surprised, but is he? Well, when you coordinate government operations like a governor, the buck stops with you, PERIOD. Ex-police boss Ali couldn't escape either given the number of people shot from behind.

As for Ruto, he saw it coming and has been working himself into lather to remain afloat. Not even a winter visit to The Hague could save the warrior. There is no love lost between Bill and Moreno. Jomo Jnr. meanwhile chose to take it cool but set his foot soldiers on the war path to no success. Henry Koskey and radio journalist completes the infamous list of cargo destined to The Hague.

The die is cast and Kenyan politics WILL NEVER be the same again. The faithful Diaspora can wax patriotic extolling their village virtues but that won't wash. The Hague Express has completed her first trip and let the political temperature sour.

Meanwhile the named suspects finds themselves in very strange territories. Ocampo has outlined very stringent conditions and they dare break them at their own peril. No more empty threats, LET JUSTICE PREVAIL.

Chris is preparing a major analysis on this major event which will appear here later today. See his brief initial comment on this.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Day of Reckoning is Here, Hague Express Docks

The die is cast and the kings of impunity have their backs firmly against a mighty reinforced wall. They were so sure they shouted that The Hague process will take 90 years to start. On the contrary the ICC engine started, gathered steam and is today docking at the station to claim her six scalps. The suspects have no more places to hide. No amount of bravado or tribal obstacles will stop Moreno's juggernaut from shipping its cargo to where they belong. Time truly flies and 2090 must have arrived way too fast. Let the trials begin and let Ocampo met justice on behalf of the dead and IDPs.

Supping with the devil is not a crime and politicians are doing just what they are known best for, protecting their turf at all costs. Forget the voters who perished for them, Kibaki succession is a priority any other politics and activity is secondary.

Early this year they all chanted, DON'T BE VAGUE, LET US GO TO THE HAGUE. The bravado was amplified even a notch higher deriding ICC process to begin in 2090. Well, Ocampo has called their bluff and the masterminds are running short of holes to run to. The last few weeks has seen suspects firing from all cylinders principally to sabotage the ICC process. Will they succeed?

You do not need to be a neurologist to imagine what the charade would have if we were to have local trials. The so-called constitutional reference would keep the cases in their infancy forever. Even the tribal demonstrations planned for tomorrow will not deter ICC from slaying the kings of impunity.

There are no more places to hide. Even if a section of the government tries all the rules in the book to halt ICC. No leader wants to rule a pariah state even if it means visiting China only. The stakes are high and damn the IDPs, the two ministers and their Hague-bound colleagues are too important to be left at the mercy of Ocampo's jaws.

Hague 2090 is here and now, tic toc counting to the smouldering hellhole.

Six on Ocampo's List

William Ruto
Henry Kosgey
Hussein Ali
Joshua Arap Sang
Franscis Muthaura
Uhuru Kenyatta

These are the six individuals named for indictment in the International Criminal Court (ICC) at the Hague by special prosecutor Louis Moreno Ocampo earlier today. I am preparing a more comprehesive post to appear shortly on the unprecedetented turn of events. The big surprises on the list are Francis Muthaura and Joshua arap Sang who is a presenter with KASS FM.

Why Kibaki is the main target in Ocampo List of 6
Kenya comes full circle from the Kapenguria Six to the Ocampo six

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Open Jamhuri letter to fallen Kenyan heroes

State of the nation of Kenya

Dear Pinto, Mboya, JM Ouko and other fallen Kenyan heroes and heroines,

I bring you Jamhuri day greetings from the motherland that you loved so much that you ended up losing your lives for.
Ex-colonial detainees, Left to Right: J. D. Kali, Kungu Karumba, Pio Gama Pinto, Paul Ngei and Muinga Chokwe.

I could not resist writing to you at this moment in the history of our beloved country because so much has changed and more changes are happening so rapidly that it is impossible to analyze what is likely to happen next. I am sure some of the changes will bring wide grins to your faces gentlemen. I sense you could do with some cheering up about the grim republic you left behind called Kenya.

You will all remember the impunity that led to your respective assassinations and left your killers to roam scot free and to continue enriching themselves at the expense of the Kenyan people without fear of ever being arrested. The impunity that was launched by characters like Mbiyu Koinange and Njoroge Mungai, the two fellows who just couldn’t stand you, Tom. After your assassinations especially after your killing, Tom, the masters of impunity would pose the question; “we killed Tom Mboya and nothing happened, who is this cockroach?” Gentlemen I am happy to report that that old man impunity has received some serious body blows in recent times which I am certain he will never recover from. Ever.

Apart from the new constitution which gives the people legal ground to fight impunity even before it is fully implemented, a number of circumstances have worked together to douse the fire of this evil giant that felled you and many others apart from being a stumbling block to Kenyans ever getting anything done.

Fascinatingly just like Africans fighting in the world wars in distant lands came back more aware of their rights and helped speed the clamour for independence, Kenyans in the diaspora have been a major force in demanding for change back home. Technology like cell phones and the World Wide Web (which did not exist during your time) have resulted in shrinking the world into a small village where you cannot get into too much mischief without your neighbors knowing exactly what you are up to. The result, our fallen heroes, is some extremely unlikely headlines you will not believe even from the grave. Like a minister stepping aside for investigation to be carried out (is now a very normal occurrence). Ministers in Africa have not yet started resigning, but we are getting there. These days people discuss the president and his failings openly. And sometimes screaming headlines talk about it. You gentlemen may be quick to point out that it is because the Mwai Kibaki (you worked very closely with him, Tom) was always a weak leader. But I believe it has more to do with the exciting times we are privileged to be living in.

Robert you will be happy to know that a report detailing the way you were murdered at State house, Nakuru has been made public after being tabled in parliament. It looks like your killers will be the first to be brought to book. That will give me a lot of personal satisfaction because out of all assassinations in Kenya yours was the most unnecessary display of impunity gone mad. But we shall have to wait and see what happens.

But the most sensational news that I have for you guys is that the masters of impunity and big names behind the post election violence of 2008 are about to be charged in the International Criminal Court (ICC) at the Hague. You will have heard about the skirmishes from the numerous Kenyans who joined you in the grave at around that time. And surely you will not have failed to notice the high number of pregnant women and innocent children who joined you for no fault of their own during that time. You guys know the setup in Kenya well and are well aware that there is no way that they would have been charged and tried in Kenya. Well the ICC got them. Hahahahahahaha. I can’t help but laugh. This is just too funny.

In fact one of the suspects is running so scared that he has been vomiting all kinds of statements and ordering his lawyers to institute all and any kind of stay of execution to delay things. But luckily this is not the Kenyan courts we are talking about here and so as the man panics like a trapped deer Kenyans are taking in the drama in glee wonder and amazement to see if it is really possible for the high and mighty to fall because it has never before been witnessed in Kenya.

As you gentlemen know it is the minnows who usually take the blame for the mysterious big men real perpetuators of the act. Like Nahashon Njenga was charged with your murder Tom and that innocent Kamba man for yours Pinto and Jonah Anguka stood trial for your murder Robert (although he was acquitted). These nobodies took the fall in place of the Mbiyu Koinanges. Njoroge Mingais and Nicholas Biwotts. That is the usual way of doing things here. That is why it is so amazing that this time round the real culprits will be called to answer for their deeds.

Then there is this amazing Wikileaks leaks that have expose the inner secrets of mighty governments of the world like the American government. I can hear you chuckle Tom because you of all people know very well how the Americans operate, always looking to cover their own a**** at all costs while hypocritically pretending to be everybody’s best friend.

Gentlemen I can say with confidence that amid all the daily chaos and confusing headlines Kenya is on track for full liberation. You guys did not die in vain after all.

Happy Jamuhuri day guys.

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Friday, December 10, 2010

Peculiar Kenyans to Blame for Hague Debacle

Thank God the winds are fully blowing out of the sails of the ICC process. Hague prosecutor Ocampo's clearance visa must now be downgraded to tourist entry level only. Kenyans of untrained legal minds thought this was an open and shut case. But the splitting political headaches are just beginning in trying to divorce the sterile ICC process from becoming a debacle of ethnicised brinkmanship by adult babies in political clothing

Justice Kriegler must be laughing bitterly at the irony of forewarning us the dangers of plastering septic sores by shipping 6 hallowed names to the Hague without treating the infection of responsibility for mismanaged elections. Kenyans have only themselves to blame for allowing one of the darkest moments of our nation's history to be portrayed as nothing more than a thinly veiled political witch hunt.

Smart wikileaks founder Julian Assange made his name from our peculiarity by correctly sensing our penchant for talking out of both sides of our mouth when he boasted of changing the outcome of our elections. Why not when neither the opposition nor the ruling party planned to conceed defeat yet falsely cried for peace while simultaneously planning civil service line ups and plotting to discredit one another's reputation in the eyes of international community as revealed by diplomatic cables!Talk about mass action premeditated on the go

Even here on this blog after all this time simply asking who won in 2007 elections leads to bloggers belabored breathing while foaming at the mouth typing hyperresponsive remarks in the comments section. How much more then Waki and KNHCR,full of Kenyans with peculiar habits, who succeded in putting together a collection of uninvestigated disproven accusations which do not meet the threshold of ICC's crimes against humanity?

This does not mean they were insincere, however Waki and KNHCR reports are akin to chinese whispers where errors typically accumulate in what the last person repeats as the original whispered sentence. It only takes one person to repeat a lie twice and it sounds like the truth to those who hear it.

Our beleagured politcal class are swearing under their breath wondering do Kenyans really know what they really want out of life-if its impossible to know who won or stole, and the violence was never about elections but about injustices that have been meted against people in this country why are we unfairly targeting Waki's 6 as if they landed from Mars yet we are a sample of what they are?

All Waki and KNHCR succeded in putting together were simply a collection of accussations. Why jeopardise the implementation of a new constitution by robbing us of potential governors and presidential/vice presidential tag teams when they know who their real enemy is? In any case at one point or another local based envoys, the President and the prime minister himself have changed their position several times on this matter at one time preferring the local tribunal and now in semi-favour of the Hague.Without proving, investigating and substantiating the accusations of those reports Moreno Ocampo is better advised to confirm whether he has any real witnesses before announcing his hitlist

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Wheels Slowly Coming off The Hague Express

Thank God for auto mouths like Agriculture Assistant Minister Kareke Mbiuki who does not sugar coat what others refer to in relative terms. MP Mbiuki laid it bare that the ICC process is a weapon to eliminate William Ruto and Uhuru Kenyatta before 2012, PERIOD. And there is no guessing who scheming to benefit from such devious machinations.

Well, not so fast as evident from judicious suspects who are burning the midnight candle formulating ways to scuttle this ICC animal. The security chiefs are not fools to incriminate themselves with statement to Lady Justice Rawal. Ocampo is better advised to spare his chest the self-thumbing. He has not seen the last of Kenya's octane tribal politics at play.

The security chiefs were only doing what people employed in the disciplined forces do, follow and obey orders. And shooting only 500 Kenyans from their backs is a small price to pay to stem mayhem. Asking the PPOs the source of their shoot-to-kill orders amounts to raping our national sovereignty.

Meanwhile our smart legal minds are smiling all the way to the bank. The Hague and Ocampo better prepare themselves for a battle royale. Ruto is a real warrior never intimidated even with Europe's biting winter. Add shrewd and moneyed Uhuru to the mix and Ocampo has a handful of political heavyweights with a Diaspora ready to parade their village loyalty at any time of need.

Make no mistake, the bolts are slowly but surely coming off the hitherto Hague Express. In no time, the juggernaut will ground to a halt once the Ruto/UK axis starves its steam engine of oxygen. NA BADO.

Kalonzo, Ruto Unite in Mission to Expose Raila

The Hague is vague, the problem is Raila, PERIOD. We have this confirmation from none other than the VP himself. And the God-fearing cannot lie in church when he declares that he knows Kibaki bears no grudges even after after teaming with Raila to abuse the President.

Teaming with the straight-talking, brave and dare-devil Ruto, Kalonzo is showing Kenyans the way to go and that is to TAME RAILA. You see, only fools do not change their minds and the VP is not a political fool. He has grown and outlived cheap talk and activism to real governance now that is he is constitutionally just a heart beat away from the throne.

Raila's half-hearted quest for a local tribunal to try PEV perpetrators has been summarily busted. Poor son of Jaramogi has enough political foes with the furious Ruto the latest to join Uhuru and Kalonzo who both blame Raila for deflating their political balloons in 2002 and 2007 respectively. The PM is a marked man with enmity and venom oozing from every political orifice, damned either way he acts or speaks.

But we must not lose sight of the trophy. To their collective rescue, Kenyans are better advised to listen to the two voices of God through Kalonzo and Ruto and consign the PM to political dustbin lest they fall to his machinations to eliminate opponents prior to 2012 polls.

Prof Luis Moreno-Ocampo himself epitomizes bad omen and death. The last time he was here coincided with the cold murder the late Mungiki spokesman Njuguna Gitau Njuguna. What is more, Moreno's presence last week was accompanied with the death of three policemen who succumbed to grenade attacks.

Make no mistake, the ICC is Raila's project through the US with Ocampo being just a handle under manipulation. Removing UK and Gen Ruto from the Kenyans political landscape will not be an easy task. Their respective communities knows what true power is than the other 40+ Kenyan tribes. They will fight to the last blood buoyed by the exported Diaspora who have their ears and village loyalty on the ground.

So there we have Kenya's vision clearly spelt out for us by the VP. We must join Kalonzo's prayer to have Ruto's ICC case expedited to pave way his return to the cabinet even if it means take shade under ODM-K umbrella. But above all else Kalonzo needs Ruto on his side to formulate agenda for a brighter Kenya come 2012. Woe unto masters of mass action.

As a footnote to the doubting Thomases, Kenya remains a continental trailblazer in exporting fraud. And if in doubt just ask one Laurent Gbabgo of Ivory Coast. Pretender Quattrra is better advised to accept Thambo Mbeki's predictable proposal to serve as PM in a coalison government. NANI KAMA SISI? Hakuna. We lead, others follow.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Wako to Ocampo, The Hague Process Starts 2090

It's about time Kenya's longest serving AG waded into the facade about naming and prosecuting the so called "perpetrators" and "masterminds" of the post election violence;

New constitution or not Kenya still needs and has its chief legal custodian. And the lawyer knows what he's talking about-his office has successfully prosecuted hundreds of cases over the past decade as mandated by the constitution. The American-visa banned double draft constitution producing accused AG has never had any reason to resign or be fired from his job. He has firmly stood on his principles and convictions doing his job and days like today prove just why

WHERE ARE THE FACTS?
In politics, perception is everything and ICC and Waki are in danger of playing politics with this country's future. Unless they are ready to present and debate facts then they are guilty of irresponsible behaviour by believing distorted facts and lies told using credible witnesses like Rono and Wekesa who were manipulated as sources to bandy around names of so called masterminds and perpetrators of post election violence.

The truth is Kenyans love rumours akin to chinese whispers where errors typically accumulate in what the last person repeats as the original whispered sentence. repeat a lie often enough and it sounds like the truth!Was every effort really made to ensure that the information supporting the adverse mentions by both the Waki report and KNHRC report fully investigated to ensure they were not rumours conjectures and hearsay? If the ICC cannot be sure that the evidence they gathered via part of the Waki report was enough to name any witnesses for prosecution then let them save Kenyans from a lot of grief.

Too often Kenyans are wrongly accused by armchair commentators as being weak and unable to stand up and fight for their rights. Nothing could be further from the truth. Kenyans are simply choking from the swamp of corruption. Its not true that the middle class are too busy filling their bellies with Nyama Choma and alcohol to stand up and take back your country. Many are devout and religious and pray thrice weekly including conducting prayers on this very blog for Chris (see here)

Therefore the government has a right to protect its citizens against allegations such as those about to be put forth about high ranking individuals inside it masterminding bloodbaths of its own citizens. PEV is not a simple open and shut case and its prosecution will be confusing to the legally untrained mind!

The AG is therefore right in reminding ICC that even Waki said its possible his report may fall short of the proof required to meet the threshold of international crimes against humanity. All the KNHRC and Waki report have done is provide a basis and a good starting point for further investigations. Let the ICC prosecutor tread on legal matters slowly while enjoying our game parks and adopting more Cheetahs

Friday, December 03, 2010

US Plots to Topple Kibaki: Tell it to the Birds

So the might US of A has degenerated so low to an extent of financing Kenyan youth to topple their government? Well, one must expose his post molars at that laughable jibe of yore. And while at it forget the present hot potato from the cyber fascists called Wikileaks who gives priority to the facial beauty of our president as if governance is a catwalk. They can rant and rave all they care but we remain SOVERRIGN so much so that only we have the patent for such gems as Goldenberg, Anglo Leasing, Triton and Grand Regency. But that is a story for another day.

For now the big boys are in town wielding the bid stick. Koffi Annan has never tired of babysitting toddler Kenya. And for good measure this time he is accompanied by the holder of that scary ICC office, one Luis Moreno Ocampo. Which leaves you wondering why the later did not save Ruto money by asking him to wait in Nairobi instead of suffering The Hague winter. Again a story for another day.

Kenya is choking with imperialists demanding every pound of her flesh. If it is not the US envoy Renneberger hogging the local political scene with his diplomatic incitement of Kenyan youth against their own government, we collectively get painted with that broad brush as a stinking SWAMP of FLOURISHING CORRUPTION. Well, if that is the accolades from a friendly country I guess we need not search for true enemies.

Forget that fat lie that the international community saved us from ourselves. We have always butchered each other in five-year periodic cycles since 1992. Annan is better advised that his determination to remain relevant and in employment since leaving the UN is selfish at best and overbearing at worst.

Reign of shameless imperialists
The ex-UN boss must leave Kenyans to run their own affairs in ways they know best. Now Kofi is in town breathing fire on our necks threatening brimstone if we derail implementation of the new constitution which has proved to be the elephant ready to evict us from our own house.

The stakes are too high to leave this hydra-headed monster set of new laws to grow legs of its own lest we all get consumed by it. Kenya is the largest economy if both East and Central Africa and the REAL ENTREPRENEURS who make us tick must not be harassed with fictitious.

The Charterhouse bank operated on Kenyan money and was run by Kenyans for Kenyans. The phantom drug lords are mere shadows. For the records Taib is a lawyer and must know better when it comes to matters that appertains to law. Loud-mouthed Renneberger must stop being jealous of SELF-MADE MPs Kabogo and Joho and smart ex-sharp shooter Mwau.

We must unite as a country to collectively stop the so-called international community from conspiring to bring Kenya down to her knees by targeting our industrious leaders.

The truth be told, Annan and Ocampo are poorly disguising their escape from Europe's biting winter, WASHINDWE.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

This man Andrew Ligale

In another life, I was a useful rugby player although I retired too early even before my full potential could be realized. But I did try to stage a comeback once or twice. On one of those come back attempts I met a sensationally explosive and very talented young winger. We played for the same club. His second name was Ligale and in one drunken moment of weakness after the game he blurted out that when he was through with school (he was still a schoolboy then but playing club rugby nevertheless) he would love more than anything else to be a PS in government, just like dad had been for many years.
Andrew Ligale: Missed the opportunity for a solid legacy despite his dark past.

His words haunted me for years after that. Indeed they came back vividly recently when it was reveled that the immediate former Vihiga legislator Andrew Ligale would chair the highly sensitive but crucial Interim Independent Boundaries Review Commission. (IIBRC). I immediately knew that there was trouble ahead. ASnd indeed trouble came.

Back in the old days when I myself was still a schoolboy and my dad worked for the government we lived in Kileleshwa. In those days there were still plenty of houses for government employees in this leafy suburb and many of them that were built in the colonial days and were becoming an eyesore as “private developers” put up lavish houses right next to them after purchasing some of the old houses from the government. The “developers” would promptly demolish the old houses and put up apartments or classy massionettes. It was in this kind of unfolding scenario that we lived right opposite the “stinking wealthy” Ligale family. At that time the rugby star was too young and the only person I remember well was his dazzling much older sister whom I made a spirited bid for but failed in what is obviously not a tale for this political blog.

So how did Mr Ligale make his money? The man is extremely wealthy too wealthy to have made it all from investing his salary whilst working for government.

Of course the official story is that he worked hard in the civil service, climbed up the ranks and made the right investments. His CV reveals something else. Ligale joined the Ministry of Lands and Settlement in 1966 in a junior position and climbed through the ranks until he became director of Physical planning. For those unfamiliar with the territory under discussion, when you mention the word “land” in Kenya you awaken terrible murderous basic instincts in many Kenyans. They stem for a desire to own large tracts of dirt at all costs. They will bribe, kill, maim and generally do anything they have to do to get land for themselves. Many Kenyan families have made fortunes from the land racket in Kenya and Andrew Ligale’s name can not be left out of that list.

Playing the land game and yet being from the wrong tribe (that is not a Kikuyu during the Kenyatta era) there is no doubt that the man was forced to develop survival skills to implement exactly the right kind of politics to ensure that he not only amassed cash and property but was also able to fully protect his wealth. The kind of wealth that made such an impression on his young son that he was able to blurt out in a drunken moment of weakness that he wanted above all to be a PS in the Kenya government.

Unfortunately it is politics from that era that Mr Ligale decided to play as chair of the IIBRC. A lot has been said in support of the Ligale commission and against it but how do you explain the fact that his very own Vihiga constituency was split into two? Ligale was MP for the area for two terms from 1992 to 1997 and from 2002 to 2007. He was defeated in the ODM nominations in 2007 but retained very close contact with the ODM high command which is what bagged him the IIBRC job.

Ligale is a smart man but even smart people get overtaken by events when changes are happening as fast as they are in Kenya. The impunity was obvious in Ligale’s tone of voice when he arrogantly told members of the press that those who were not happy with the work of his commission were welcome to go to court.

I have a feeling that history will not be so kind to Andrew Ligale. It will be recorded that he had his opportunity to make his contribution to the new Kenya but squandered it on the altar of political gain. A man with a long history of using his public appointments for personal gain.

Ligale CV

Employment History
1966-1978: Ministry of Land& Settlement
(rose to become Director, of Physical Planning)
1979-1991: P.S. Various Ministries
1997-2002: Chairman Consolidated Bank of Kenya

Education
1952: Chanzeywe Primary School
1953-1956: Chavavo Intermediate School
1957-1960: Friends School Kamusinga
1961-1962: Alliance High School
1963-1966: Makerere University, Uganda (B.A. Hons. Degree)
1966-1968 Nottingham University (M.A. Degree)

Period Served in Parliament
1992-1997 , Re-elected 27th December 2002

See older Kumekucha article: The Andrew Ligale Gideon Moi cash distributing link.