Monday, September 21, 2009

Fascinating Kumekucha Statistics And What I said In The Last Post

For those who do not already suspect from various insinuations made here in the past, the truth is that I and a close friend closely monitor the origin and behaviour of Kumekucha traffic virtually on an hourly basis. We use two different independent online tools that give us all the details including the ip addresses of every single visitor to this site. They show that at times the ip addresses are blocked. This is neither the time nor the place to go into the probable reasons of why somebody would want their ip address blocked so let us leave that story for another day.

One of the wonderful tools I use even gives me an instant breakdown on the exact numbers broken down in countries that are coming in to Kumekucha at any given time. Looking at those stats you don’t need a clock to know what time certain states in America are waking up to a new day. This graph shows that there are patriotic Kenyans scattered in every country you can think of all over the world.

Less than half a percent of the visitors to this site usually leave a comment. Meaning that it is impossible to gauge the real reaction of our readership to any post just from reading the comments. This is because out of those who read this site, such a minute fraction of a percentage usually leaves comments. Here is a breakdown from the statistics monitored over a long period of time.

1. 99.5% This is the vast majority of visitors. They do not leave any comments and rely heavily on Kumekucha for information on what is really going on behind the scenes. In recent times these numbers have understandably gone down as the rate at which this insider information is released in this site has gone down. This group includes newspaper and media house ip addresses that probably use the site to get ideas and leads for articles and stories in the main stream media. In this group will also be found those who read a post and look for direction and public opinion from the comments not knowing that some of those leaving comments are on a deliberate mission to control how information here is received and digested.

2. All the other groups fit into one single tiny percentage point of the total visitors who come to Kumekucha. This group includes a group who visit Kumekucha for entertainment. Their idea of entertainment is to leave abusive comments sometimes targeted at their imagined enemies and many times against the writer of the post.

3. Also in this tiny group are people whose job description includes ensuring that the influence of the blog is limited and that the impact of information released here is reduced as much as possible. These people work for various interested groups whose agenda could easily be affected if Kenyans had some certain bits of information that Kumekucha is notorious for revealing.

4. Again to be found in this group that is less than a half of a percentage point of the total visitors to Kumekucha are folks who have no idea what is happening here. They assume that this is just another blog where the founder dreams up fiction in his bedroom and quickly publishes it shortly thereafter. This group quickly warms up to group number 3 above and is usually quick to grasp and follow through on the ridiculous and doubting comments made by this other group.

5. There was a time this last group was fairly large. These are people who genuinely love their country and want the best for it. They look to this site to find like-minded people. The problem is that SOME of the good folks with good intentions in this group are naïve and easily swayed by group number 3. Some of them will never believe that this blog is monitored by any security agents even if the evidence was waved right under their very noses. (Incidentally I have lots of evidence to prove this particular point). The reason why this group has decreased in number is no accident. A carefully orchestrated campaign has always been targeted at everybody who leaves comments here and appears to fit under this category. Very crude tactics have been used and are still used to stop the good people in this group who are viewed as a threat for obvious reasons. Ladies are dealt with by using abusive language (one was repeatedly told that she is pregnant with the child of another commentator and that is the last time we heard from her). Occasionally we are forced to moderate comments because of the barrage of abusive language and comments left here. This is never an accident but a cautiously executed campaign that is usually successful in losing us hoardes of readers at a time (as our traffic and ip monitoring clearly shows us.)

It was therefore hardly surprising that my post yesterday (deliberately done on a weekend) received the kind of comments it did. To liven up things a little I even left a comment in Taabu’s post telling all you good folks to expect my explosive post this weekend. I know that I messed up the plans of some people to have a quiet long weekend away from work and the city, but I did it deliberately.

The whole point of this post is to summarize the key points in my last post because you will realize that with all that is going on in this blog it is easy to miss pertinent points in an article like my last long post. Secondly I would like to explain in a little more detail the meaning of some of this information.

- I revealed that there is a parallel intelligence unit and even gave the name of the person in the president’s inner circle who set it up. As far as I know this has NEVER been revealed before. This unit enjoys all the facilities and access that a top government unit would have except that it is in private hands and therefore is hidden from public scrutiny. It also means that if there is an investigation in future over certain evils that happened during the Kibaki era there will be hardly any evidence because officially this thing does NOT exist. The scary question here is why would there be need to set up such a thing? One possibility is to do something that there must never be any evidence of.

- What I said about the rapid expansion and meteoric rise of the AP police force is no secret and is in the public domain. However by going back to history and giving the example of the Ngoroko and Kenyatta’s inner circle in the last days of his presidency, my post brought some disturbing questions to the fore. More evidence is to be found in the appointments to key security posts (to avoid questions). And then you need to answer the nagging question; what is all this fuss with the AP about? In view of the fact that we all know that President Kibaki has already shown that he is unable to stomach the idea of handing over power to somebody else who could hurt him and dig into what he has done during his tenure means that there is great cause for alarm here. It should be pretty obvious to Kenyans that Kibaki will never hand over power to anybody but his appointed choice ONLY. Anybody who believes otherwise is dreaming and should wake up pronto.

- When you consider all this information next to the looming succession it becomes very clear that Kenya is in very serious trouble and it looks like we are already so deceived and conveniently too divided along tribal and class lines to be in a position to stop those who have taken the country hostage.

P.S. There was a dear reader who recently asked me to do a post on those who would wish a speedy demise of this site. I hope that this post gives them a large percentage of the answer they are looking for. Please let me know.


Taabu said...

Come on, buy a more melodious and large guitar. Your present tunes are really annoying the herds. These herbivours hate the truth and you aptly define them with words like DECEIPT and THEFT, they dutifully reduce and dilute the impact by defecating on those words.

Living a national lie is their collective forte. And you saw they picked the gaunlet in your last post to mask the import. These are schooled scoundrels packaged as exported opinionated villagers.

In the meantime, pad your cheeks as they will predictably embark on another mission to signpost NMG grand scheme to nationally MISINFORM with their lastest headlines.

PS1: On a lighter note, why would you only dream up fiction in the confines of a bedroom? Come on expand the environment, won't you?

PS2: You would wish to know that both Ivy and Knoppix are very much around and didn't relocate. They are both smarter than the scum around here. Monikers can lie.

Anonymous said...

What is the source of your paranoia,deleting a post for merely pointing the contradiction in your writing makes you worse than those you are always criticizing for bad governance,it makes you a dictator.I will repeat it again.What makes you imagine that a president who is the least bothered when ministers and mps living in kenya openly challenge and insult him would be interested in an anonymous blogger with waning influence.Wouldnt it be wasting a bullet or whatever other method they employ to kill undesired elements to do it on Chris?Delete!At least you will have read it and 'Got fingers will type!'

Anonymous said...

The reason why your arguments sound ridiculously conclusory is because you start from wrong premises. For example, by starting from an ODM mantra that Kibaki stole the election, you end up concluding that Kibaki would not hand over to somebody he didn't like. Then in your paranoia you go on and on about secret forces and militia. You should relax and avoid the ODM herd mentality. Kibaki won the last election narrowly; but a win is a win. And nowhere in the world are losers given power by the winners.

Those who want to rule this country must learn to campaign without injecting tribalism and perenial violence. In the next elections those who want to win will have to avoid calling the tribes they don't like names especially calling them "KABILA ADUI." They must humble themselves before the eyes of all Kenyas. If they repeat their usual ushetani they will never ascend to the highest position in the country. The will be defeated again and left crying again about a "stolen" election. But this time nobody will answer there forlon cry.

deroo said...

Anons above, where do you live??? Can I have a pint with you one of these days, I am there at your beck and call! Yours for the asking. A miniscule effort to derail change in a life full of the trepidations will make you look bad, a spook at the very least. Thanx for that.



deroo said...

I thought they were cousins!!! But since the other's election, they have never met! Just wondering about the headlines in the national press today and yesterday. Interesting, albeit out of topic.

Sometime this year, one of them was in the States for a whle week and did not meet the other cousin, waited for him in Kenya but, like the passing cloud, he landed in Ghana. Now, they are struggling to find a suitable rendevous for an ideal sibling tete-a-tete. Anyway, that is life, as Kibaki is getting his piece of cake from the MPs.

-Derek- (alias Usicheke Ukunga)


Ndeloo said...


And your point is?

Anonymous said...

give me a break, get over it kiuiks, KIBAKI STOLE THE ELECTION. Period. Get used to a fact of kikuyu are thieves and will always be.

ngetich said...

These are no tribalistic commemnts, but facts and statitis have always reveals kiuks are willing to woo other communities for a vote but will never vote for the other. The kalenjins MPs must realise there can and never will be a KK coalition. The community is watching silently. Read the kalenjin blogs, especially on the issue of Ringera and mau, we support Raila period. Ruto has lost the faith he never earned. He was involved in a maize embezzlement and many other , we know the facts. we have he cannot play national polics.

Its unfortunate we have first timers mostly in parliament. The only two prominent politicians are Kosgey and Bett. Both remain to be part of our flow of wisdom, but we must inject presidential or national player , which Ruto cannot attain . Magerer, Isaac ruto may be haraka and mouthful but he's a keen political skeemer, well Ethuro and someone like Kiptanui. Seriously, lets not waste our time and have a Kalonzo type of person in our midst. Ruto and Uhuru pole sana. kalenjins have grown to be more democratic than ever thanks to pst election. Yes we can

Anonymous said...

Chris: Dont you think you should invest in DEMONSTRATING how the content of your blog has been picked up, shaped opinion or perhaps even acted upon? If you did that, your current post wouldnt be so easily dismissed as the bitter rantings of an arrogant has-been.

Anonymous said...

How will Kibaki be remembered?
Very funny indeed

President Kibaki said, “How would you like to be remembered by the generations that come years after you. Strive to make a difference by serving fellow Kenyans diligently and support them to change their lives for better.”

The President made the remarks today when he joined the family, relatives and friends for the burial of the late Mama Paulina Bosibori Nyandusi and mother to former cabinet minister Simeon Nyachae in Nyaribari Chache Constituency, Kisii Central District.

President Kibaki urged the Abagusii Community and Kenyans at large to emulate virtues upheld by the late Mama Bosibori whom she termed as a God fearing, hard working, generous and caring person.

While condoling the bereaved, the Head of State urged the family members to remain united and be guided by the principles advocated for by the late matriarch who at all times demonstrated leadership and commitment to the service of fellow citizens.

Anonymous said...

was it not Charles Njonjo who convinced Mbiyu Koinange to attend a business meeting in Nairobi on the day that Kenyatta died??

Anonymous said...

how does someone block their ip address??

Anonymous said...

according a book I am reading Stalin said: "the persons who cast ballots in an election don't get to decide the winner. It is the persons who count the ballots that decide who is the winner"

so true for Kenya!!!!

according to "Its our turn to eat"
NSIS is watching people outside the country.......

what a waste of cash.....

Anonymous said...

You made my weekend Chris. Thank you.

I think I fall into the 99.5% because this is my 3rd or 4th comment since I started visiting this site nearly 2 years ago.

My beef with you is what you said about people falling for the comments here. Excuse me!!! Are the comments in Kumekucha really readable? I hardly read them with all the abusive language and Kikuyu this and Luo that cr**.

What I do is read the posts carefully and ignore the comments. When I have a little time I may quickly scheme through the comments stopping to read one or two sensible voices. Where do I fall?

Chris, do you realize that you are abusing our intelligence suggesting that somebody can actually get swayed by such nonsense comments to rubbish a post? Not me!!!

I think you are way too paranoid Chris. Just keep doing your job and let the people decide.

Anonymous said...

Why is Kemucha and SiASA KALI run the same string of articles?


Bobie Bristol said...

Perchance, are you please able to make me understand just how one becomes patriotic just for reading Kumekucha or rather does reading Kumekucha automatically make one a patriot as implied..?

Anonymous said...

what became of the optimistic child in the blogger in question? kumekucha residents should help present a program to safeguard the blogger against pessimism, depression and extreme paranoia.

lol! does my ip address state whether my part of the world is embracing the morning sun or chasing the midnight sun or drifting away from the full moon?

btw, people come to kumekucha and stay or leave based on their personal interests and tastes. period. i am sure many have left and never bothered to return due to obvious reasons.

one wonders why the blogger is so fixated about being "watched 24/7" and having every stroke of his/her key board examined by mirage agents of a "cyber czar" hidden in some cave city?

ahaaah! time to go, the midday sun is beaconing.

may the blogger know thyself and then seek means and ways to heal thyself before paranoia gets out of hand.

Philip said...

So tell me Chris, where am I posting this from? Just joking, coz it's easier to know that I'm logging from Muthaiga Golf Club after having a pint of Tusker Kubwa baridi with my buddy Baba Jimmy.

He has just told me that Ringeera is his good buddy, and that after recent conflicts with Ameru people after the sacking of Mwiraria and the slapping of Gitobu Imanyara, he would not wish this conflict to resurface again.

He added that Jimmy has always been pestering him to do so since Jimmy doesn't want to loose Ameru community in 2017 election when he'll be running for presidency - he's fully aware that Kalonzo wa Musyoka has always been fighting to get a share of Ameru community.

He told me that in politics it's good to give a community what they want if you can do so since you never know when you will need them. At the moment Ameru don't have a leader who can run for presidency, though Imanyara is campaigning for that but amid fights from Kiraitu wa Murungi, who seems to be fighting Imanyara but at the same time leaning towards Agikuyu, something that still baffles my friend Baba Jimmy - why should Kiraitu fight Imanyara in order to take the helm of leadership of Ameru community yet at the same time he is leaning towards Agikuyu? My friend always wonder.

At least now he smiles and is not worried since he has performed part of his bargain. Therefore if Ringeera fails to fight for himself Baba Jimmy knows that he should not be blamed at all by Ameru people.

He later told me that Jimmy is so optimistic he'll become the president of Kenya from 2017 upto 2117 since: first of all he belongs to the largest community in Kenya according to recent census whose results he already has access to; secondly he is a youth, can speak fluent sheng and therefore can reach many youths - something that his buddy Uhuru has failed; and thirdly his friends Fidel Odinga and Tony Gachoka, with whom they sometimes go to Olopolos for Mbuzi Choma and Tusker baridi kama kawaida, have promised to support him in return for securing them government contracts once he sits at that presidential throne.

Tomorrow morning I'll be competing with Baba Jimmy at Muthaiga Golf Club. He's making good recovery since he had an accident in 2002 and now he has started giving me a tough challenge after my easy wins for the past 7 years - so don't be cheated that Baba Jimmy is unwell.

I'll update you on the latest tomorrow after our meeting.

By the way Karume will be joining us. I know it will be a wonderful day.

Anonymous said...

Very nice!

Anonymous said...

You have a very misplaced sense of self- importance. You keep hinting at some very fantastic theories and your local kalonzo musyoka (Taabu) gleefully cheering you on. When will you realise that feeding people on garbage everyday is bound to become boring and guys just move on elsewhere, where the content is not always on "scoundrels" bullcrap? you are becoming irrelevant. who would waste good money monitoring a rag like this, surely?.

Taabu said...

Speaking of which, why would one shamelessly (and foolishly) soil KK rag after constipating on the same BULLCRAP s/he so much hates to read? Kweli nyani haoni kundule.

You spew hollow vitroil with the thick upper lip while the lower one is feeding on the same. That is typical Kenyan mentality of engaging the pair of flaps separating your chin from the nose while giving the empty space separated by your ears indefinite leave.

Just coin e-fantasy defined by lies, peddle it here repeatedly and convince yourself that you are knowledgeable. Assumptions are the exclusive ingredients of deceptive minds. Well, go ahead, expand the ego mate. Good riddence to ...

Anonymous said...

Chris is only trying to redeem the tattered image of this blog. those stats are imaginary as his posts!

Anonymous said...

Yes Taabu, when it comes to vomiting nonsense, there is no competition; you are the master. You are such a shameless old ODMoron!!!!

Anonymous said...

What about those people who once visited this blog regularly but somehow were heckled out of Kumekucha by akina Taabu and other others so called contributors?
You should be addressing this to people like Taabu who was once threatened by one time good commentator like Kwale and et al. Cicero was another one heckled out by Phil.
And what happened to Vikii?
This blog is going to the dogs!!!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Some chaps have very fertile minds. How do you even begin to monitor a blog whose only raison detre is to let Taabu exercise his disjointed english words to form a sentence? hehehehe

Anonymous said...

Taabu and Chris,
r u aware of who these people you normally heckle out of this Kumekucha? You will be very shocked to learn their background! Do u know Daniel Waweru, on-off commentator here in KK is a son of Prof. Wangari Mathaai?

okhunyanye said...

Thus far, the delivery of the supposed expose' has been poor - for I fail to see any inspite of your second attempt at the same.

Kindly consider giving Taabu all the exclusive 'sensitive' material you have, and let's see if he will do a better job with it.

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