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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

In Case We Go To The Hague

Winners:


Kenyan Tax Payers: In these tough economic times, we should be happy that our tax shillings will not be used in the formation of a kangaroo court.

Kamiti Residents: The way I see it, all prisoners in Kenya must ask their respective wardens to open the prison gates and set them free. After all, the judicial system that locked them up has lost all confidence. The journey to The Hague vindicates all of those who’ve been in front of a Kenyan judge.

Raila Odinga: In about two weeks, we shall start hearing some fantastic stories about how Raila really and truly never wanted a local tribunal…even though he voted for it. Come campaign time, the people’s president will take credit for sending chaps to The Hague. His vote as recorded in the gazette will be seen as a tactful political chess move to hoodwink some people who we really don’t know yet.

Mwai Kibaki: Now that this thing is pretty much over, my friend can go back to State House and rest. The trips to Parliament Buildings were not only cumbersome but also very tiring. Rather than listen to hecklers saying ‘no’ to his face, he would rather sit in his backyard listening to birds chirp and feeding bananas to the monkeys of Arboretum.

Ruto and Uhuru: Wacheni kupapatika wasee. Fifteen years is a long time to prepare a defense…. and even if they lost the case, current ICC prisoners eat eggs and sausages for breakfast. As we speak, there are some Rwandese prisoners in Tanzania playing badminton in the lush ICC prison yard. Life as an ICC prisoner is not too shabby.

Phillip Waki: For the first time in Kenya’s history, a commission’s report may mean justice. Praise be to Waki…even though his list left out a huge number of suspicious tax payer fattened MPs.

IDPs: It’s going to take a while but justice will come…someday. Just the sight of Kenyan suspects shivering behind the bullet proof glass should provide some solace.

Kalonzo Musyoka: He’s probably the only person in Kenya who can claim he did not cast a stone…so if he goes to The Hague, it will be as a witness or a tourist. That alone should allow him some kind of relevance in future.

Major Ali: Much as he’s willing to divulge all the details of the much publicized police killings, the man simply does not have a case to answer.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kalamari, I always enjoy your writing but how on earth did you potray raila in that light?

Raila is my god and if he goes to hague Kumekucha must also be taken to Hague. You among other contributors like Taabu, Chris, Sam Okello and Phil MUST face Hague. You fed us with ethnically explosive articles in order to go out and attack others.
I killed 2 because of Kumekucha.

Anonymous said...

Kibaki, Raila, Uhuru, Ruto, Maj Gen Ali should top the Hague list. Kenya will be a better place without these blood-thirsty bastards.

They all played a direct role in the slaughter of innocent Kenya - either by stealing votes, ordering their party supporters/tribes to slaughter others just because of stolen votes, ordering police to shoot demonstrators angered by vote stealing etc.

If the above will not go to Hague, then forget about Hague and let the culture of impunity live with us. We'll sort ourselves out one day the Somalia way - kill each other mercilessly and those who survive, live to tell a story to future generations.

Anonymous said...

what are you on about? These guys are more likely not to go to the hague than to go to it. Even that special tribunal they want that can be supervised by the UN will take a long time. By the time they collect enough evidence, there will probably be witness intimidation and widespread corruption.

Come on Kenyans, you cannot solve this at the Hague, as soon as you get that, you will realise that it goes beyond merely taking people to the Hague. We have a serious problem with how we view each other, and all Kenyans supported leaders that allowed that violence to happen on their watch.

kalamari said...

anon @ 6.17. Raila has already been quoted as saying the current government is one of circumstances beyond the control of ODM. This is not the government ODM intended. It follows therefore that its policy failures must not be associated with ODM; at least in their entirety. Now, while there’s a degree of truth in his statement, Kenyans must be wary of what ODM credits itself with come campaign time.
We are awaiting a party that will summarily disassociate itself with all the current upheavals. You just wait.

Joe said...

Question is, how does a small person (like me) start a revolution? The way i see it, a revolution is our only option.

Anonymous said...
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Joe said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Joe,
Kenya belongs to dogs!

Yes dog and cats! they have been in Kenya before we came to existence.

Anonymous said...

Kalamari:

I like the way you understand the Kenyan, and the fun you bring to the analysis. Better still, you look at the wrongdoer and not his tribe, unlike your brother Taabu who can't sleep as long as Kikuyus breathe God's free air.

Anonymous said...

Please, be kind to us, Kalamari. Give the address of the high school you attended to Taabu. I am sure he can benefit by taking some courses on how to write modern verse.

Again, the way you portrayed the principals left me in stitches.

John Maina said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Maina Kiai deserved the ECK chairmanship. He was the most qualified and the only one who had shown a constant ability to put our national interests first.
I don't think the person who was chosen is strong enough for that post.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

as each year passes you will appreciate moi more and more..those were truly golden times..minimum ethnic violence and so forth...

Anonymous said...

everyone has free quality health care in cuba...snd there are no multiparty elections

Anonymous said...

odm+pnu = one party state

Anonymous said...

moi ought to run for president in 2012.....

Anonymous said...

This Kibaraila govt wouldn't make it to 2012.

Let us try a man of God, Kalonzo Musyoka. He is our Joshua to leader across our national malaise.

Anonymous said...

Why does phil and his fellow jaluo kihiis think that raila odinga can ever be president? Can someone tell these nugus to stop dreaming?
Anna Kyalo

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:05 AM, dont be stupid! you are not anna kyalo! i am.

UrXlnc said...

well well,

looks like khalwale bit off more than he could chew.

http://www.nation.co.ke/News/politics/-/1064/531934/-/item/3/-/nu6hvd/-/index.html

lets see how this unfolds

Anonymous said...

Khalwalwe shld resign! He's a disgrace 2 luhyas! Phil maze andika post! Chris jinyonge!

Phil said...

Blogger UrXlnc said...

well well,

looks like khalwale bit off more than he could chew.

http://www.nation.co.ke/News/politics/-/1064/531934/-/item/3/-/nu6hvd/-/index.html

lets see how this unfolds


UrXlnc,

I told you guys.

It is one thing to allege but quite another to prove or justify.

I challenged Chris and his group, but they had already passed judgement on Ruto.

Lets use this as a lesson to raise the bar in the level of debate on this influential blog and debate things that will take this country forward. Name calling, insults and wild allegations only take us backwards.

The defeat of the motion should not be by any means be construed to mean as an vote of confidence on ruto. It is just a defeat of Kangaroo courts which rely on jungle laws.

Well, I can assure you if the PM's forensic audit reveals guilt on the part of Ruto, that is the minute he will cease to be minister. In that case, he will find himself in the dock facing an anti-corruption judge, because ODM maintains ZERO tolerance to corruption.


Watch this space, coz you will read it here first.

Mama said...

Aiii, there's no post on Khalwale in Kumekucha?

I have never seen such disgrace in my life! The man came to offer newspaper clippings in parliament as evidence? Tena photos of hungry people? Who the hell does that?

It was obvious when he finished speaking how that debate would go. Well Ruto tabled his evidence well, Khalwale had nothing! Except that he and Dr. Eseli were threatened by unknown persons.

The statistics 22-119 were a bit odd in my opinion. What did the 22 who supported the motion base their votes on? Their hatred of Ruto? Coz honestly there was nothing to crucify him on. Khalwale came to call people names in parliament and show us how much of a doctor he is! After convincing us of audits he had conducted with his public accounts committee members, he had nothing? How disgraceful!

UrXlnc said...

Phil

==
It is one thing to allege but quite another to prove or justify.
==
agreed, but in the case of the present cast in parliament i doubt voting was based (purely) on evidence presented or lack there-of, but more than likely due to other extraneous (or vested) interest.

notably there are some other possible beneficiaries arising from this outcome.

==
raise the bar in the level of debate on this influential blog
==
that would be nice, but don't hold your breath on that one, lets see what comments come after this

Anonymous said...

Apparently, the country needs 36 million bags of maize per year. So this means that each Kenyan consumes one bag of maize per year. Now that you know the math, I advise you all to buy for yourselves one bag of maize per head at the beginning of every year.

Mama said...

UrXlnc,

You are right people may have voted based on extraneous considerations but believe you me the evidence (presented) played a very big role in the matter as well.

Khalwale brought crap, rubbish, matope tupu!!

Anonymous said...

Mama @ 9:15am, U got it right!!

Anonymous said...

Chris,
How did ruto survive censure motion. seriously our country is in deep shit!
where is okello we need a revolution now! these politicians are up to no good for common mwanachi.

Anonymous said...

Mama for president!! The best commentator in this blog!
Eloquent and articulate!

Chris, you said you would support a femaled president, look no further Mama is here. God bless her!

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