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Saturday, May 24, 2008

Kumekucha On The Run

As a boy in primary school I distinctly remember my dad driving me to school one morning with a big loaded gun on the floor of the empty front passenger seat. I was in Standard six at the time and I wondered what the problem was because I could “smell” the same tension and fear that had been in the air the year before when the then Nyandarus North MP JM Kariuki’s badly mutilated and charred remains had been discovered somewhere in Ngong Hills. That day school had closed at lunch time because everybody had expected serious trouble.

I remember wondering what the problem was this time round and making a point to read the newspapers that evening when I got home, which I did and found nothing to give me the faintest clue as to why my senior policeman dad was suddenly given to walking around armed to the teeth.

Years later the mystery was solved. He had rubbed the dreaded Kiambu mafia up the wrong way by stubbornly refusing to look the other way as smuggled coffee belonging to a member of the Kenyatta family was given police escort to Mombasa. Not even a call from the then police commissioner himself could get him to change his mind. (incidentally the commissioner’s exact words on the phone to the most principled man I know were; “I am very disappointed in you Mr ..........). I also learnt that during those frightening days my father never slept at home and would slip away to book himself into different hotels using assumed names, always armed and ready for anything.

I went through high school wondering what the hell was wrong with my dad. Why couldn’t he be like those other “cool” albeit corrupt dads who usually brought their kids to school with better-looking cars than our battered old Ford Escort and had a lot more money? After all there was no way that he could single-handedly stop all the corruption in Kenya.

My dad always said that the reason why he could not bear to accept a bribe or be corrupt was because there was no way he was going to live with it in his conscience. I often wondered what the conscience had to do with the pocket which is where one kept the fat bundle of crisp bank notes received from bribes. With the benefit of hindsight and after watching what finally became of all those corrupt colleagues of his, I now know exactly what he meant. Many of those “cool” dads are now six feet under. One of them lived his last months having to get terribly drunk just to get to sleep. Today I have great respect for that man and his principals. I am very proud to call him my dad.

This week I have found myself in exactly the same position he was in those many years ago. I have been on the run and worried sick about my personal safety. I now know precisely what he must have felt.

Mercifully I am currently in fairly safe territory (although I am not yet out of the woods kabisa) and as I write this, for the first time in days I do not have that sickening feeling at the pit of my stomach.

For the last 18 months I have been writing this blog from within the borders of our beautiful country. It has its advantages. Like the fact that I can mix with ordinary Kenyans at the grassroots and get their views. Or organize the poll that showed in the run up to the elections last year that ODM’s Raila Odinga would win 6 provinces out of the 8. Most of all it is easy to get a “feel” of exactly what is happening within the country. Now circumstances which I cannot give details of here (but have published a few more fascinating facts in my raw notes this week) have forced me to hurriedly leave.

It is rather fitting that on my last night in Nairobi two things happened. Firstly I had a long talk with my dad that happened purely by accident and without any prior arrangements. Secondly the headline on one of the leading dailies that day showed just how much things have NEVER changed since that day so long ago when I was being driven to school with a loaded gun in the car. In fact they have gotten incredasingly worse.

Let me start with the headline. Apparently a man called Deepak Kamani who had been on the police’s “most wanted” list has suddenly and mysteriously been cleared of all charges and suspicions. I will not say anymore about this man who featured prominently on the Kroll report and is one of the main names behind the mammoth Anglo Leasing scum. It is said that he is the same man who paid President Kibaki’s hospital bill in London shortly after that near fatal accident of 2002.

During my long talk with my dad, it occurred to me how we still do not agree about many issues (like he was sure that Hilary Clinton was going to easily secure the democratic nomination for the presidency and he also voted Kibaki in the last elections). Then on the other hand there are other things we are in total agreement about. Like the current political mood in the country the coming unprecedented famine and what is most likely to happen in the months to come. Folks we are seated on a time bomb that is about to explode big time. More on that in the days to come.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those wonderful people who have in one way or the other helped me and assisted me in any way small or big during this very difficult and trying time. Ahsante sana. Especially that close friend who has repeatedly gone out of their way to be of such great help, quite often sparing no expense.

Now, if you are reading this and you often get a feeling of being overwhelmed by corruption and injustices in Kenya, take heart. I am sure you feel like a flickering candle in the wind, but always remember that the flame will never be quenched until that day when it will be strong enough to burn down the entire forest called “corruption and injustices in Kenya.”

My dad survived because his conscience was clear and he knew he had done the right thing. For the same reason, Kumekucha too will survive.

P.S. Have you noticed how after the 2007 general elections the wrong people are on the run while the crooks are being cleared to come back to Kenya to rape some more? I am not talking about myself but about the long list of Kenyans who have had to leave the country suddenly. For instance do you guys know where Ted Josiah is and why he is there? Yep I am talking about that music producer guy.


Anonymous said...


Be honest and say you are just another economic refugee. There is no shame in admitting the reality. I applaud your courage to break away from your "ancestral" land and seek your luck wherever you can find it. At the height of Moi's lunacy when it was a crime to be a Kikuyu, I left the country to go and seek peace and fortune elsewhere. I spent about 1/3 of my life in foreign lands. Although I did not get as much as I would have liked, by the time I came back I did not need to be employed anymore and I am able to educate the children of my less fortunate brothers and sisters. One of the problems with many Kenyans is that they are too domesticated to venture outside their tribal enclaves.

Anyway, Bwana Chris, wherever you finally land may a bird of good omen cross your path, and remember to share your luck with someone less fortunate back home.

Anonymous said...

Hi Chris,
Knowing what I know of Kenya better be safe than sorry for we are not known for appreciating martyrs...
Ted Josiah is in TZ, is he not...!

Mcheku said...

Honestly Chris, this post is long overdue. I have been wondering where you are and why someone has been wasting their precious time every other day especially weekends trying to tell us that Kumekucha is just about the money, that bloggers here have been 'duped' we have been 'used' and what not!

Now, I don’t know why someone would take it upon themselves to come here and tell us about such things unless there was an agenda behind it. First and foremost, I don’t think anyone has been duped here so that Chris can earn money, I thought this blog is just a hobby for the contributors just like everyone else has a blog out there. It passes very good information and most of the times it is way ahead of the Kenyan media. That’s why I read this blog. Suffice it to say their coverage before and after elections was to say the least impeccable. So no, I don’t feel I have been duped in anyway, neither have I been used. If anything I have been getting free reliable information here on Kenyan matters so have I been used? Anyway who ever said you MUST blog from Kenya to run a political blog? I just don’t understand that duping line seriously what do people want? If someone is feeling 'used' that is their business, they should settle it with you, not come here to tell us crap.

Ati the reason Kumekucha has duped us is because Chris wants to conduct his business out of Kenya, is this blog making that much cash? That you guys would just run it without working? Well if you want to have your business prosper elsewhere then I wish you all the luck in the world. Infact I pray that all you contributors get to be stinking rich so that you can have time to relay information to us and blog comfortably without money worries, ama people want you guys to be blogging on empty tummies? How will you even think? So Wanjiku, Phil, Chris, Luke, Taabu, Ritch, Emily, Kalamari, Sayra, PKW, Danlieve, Karol and Sue and anyone else I might have forgotten , I wish you God's blessings so that you can reach a place where you can just sit around and do nothing but blog. Leave all the haters alone...clearly they have nothing better to do.

Yesterday, I even saw someone giving out very personal information and telling us to read very fast coz they will be deleted, I am glad that stuff was deleted, if it was true. I know there are idlers with nothing better to do with their time but I thought that was a serious violation of privacy. What is the motive behind giving out someone's private phone number on a public forum like this one? I think that is a very childish albeit dangerous thing to do exposing someone like that. Especially considering all the exposes given on this very forum? Aren’t you putting someone’s life in danger? Please stop the nonsense.

By the way where is Ted Josiah? I kind of like his music…..its better than all that ‘manyake’ nonsense I hear children singing nowadays.

Kumekucha wherever you are, I pray for God’s safety upon your life. Take good care of yourself.


Knoppix!® said...

Its an absurdity to hear that your life is in danger Chris if indeed it is.To have arrived at the decision to cart yourself away from home is itself telling of what could be going on.

However you could have given some of us pointers about what could be going on so that some of us who post comments here can also watch our backs because we are equally exposed to more or less the same kind of threat.Whatever you undertake that leaves you to be at peace may it be so.I will comment on the state of affairs not so long away from now but for now i will wish you safety coz it seems that is what you need.

Anonymous said...

Atherere is kwerekwere in Zulu.

The aggressiv kind of bussiness done by Kenyans and Nigerians have triggered the anger of the Zulus.

The two countries have endangered the Zimbabweans, Congolese, etc.

Abandon corrupt ways of handling things and Africa will be a better place to live in.

Black Americans in the US are watching the South African "revolt".

Are you safe in the US?

M-Pesa said...

Chris wewe uko paranoid!

I don't buy the hogwash nonsense that Kibaki and the Government of Kenya are having sleepness nights plotting how to deal with Chris of Kumekucha blog. What a load of tosh! Kibaki has enough and more bigger 'enemies' in the name of politicians like Ruto, Raila and busybodies like Maina Kiai and mad men of Mungiki. Kumekucha is not even anywhere in the league of 'Citizen' tabloid which a few days ago implicated Kibaki's son in illegal arms deal and more than often demonise Lucy in the most despicable terms. I often see the editors of this tabloid drinking freely in Hurlingham without a care in the world. If anyone wanted to hurt you Chris, they would just target your family, God forbid! I really wish you the best whenever you are Bwana Chris but I honestly think you are just creating a publicity stunt and as they say, any publicity is good publicity.

Anonymous said...

In Kenya people dont work hard to be rich.

The sign of hard work is heart attack. Kenyans hardly die of heart attack.

The last case was that of SM Otieno.

In England a Mehta or a Singh dies every year because of the 24 hr duty these people impose on themselves. Their supermarkets open throughout.

I frequently hear from the bloggers here that one community in Kenya is hard working. Wapi bwana? These people are not working more than the others. Was Kanyotu or Hinga or Goldenberg architect hard working? No way, baba na mama.

These were killers and looters, nothing more. That is how people become rich in Kenya.

I however think that Muite, Orengo and a few lawyers have cashed genuinely.

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

KK I wish you and your family safety and peace of mind.

Mcheku thanks.

Knoppix Lol. hehehehe.

deroo said...


Was in Nairobi and Zim in the last four weeks and came a cross The Media Institute latest Edition. They talk so much about Kumuekucha and the bravery of the bloggist,publishing what CNN will not and BBC will not move closer to and I wonder what is wrong. Some are colleagues i have known for years and equally criticised me thousand times about participation.

If you read the issue Xris you will understand what I mean, but no one on earth ever thought of it being this bad.

It is a personal decision anyway. I know waht it means to be on the run. I saw it in 1982 in our own house and three years later as cops came back and again in turns, but Xris, that is not the way to go it. FACE THEM!!!

While I support Knoppix and a fact that Aladwa of Citizen is all over Nairobi, just as Bohoko Matiko enjoys his nightlife in Simmers, I dont see any reason why they should target you. I have not heard of anyone from that Kale station targetted.


Anonymous said...


Am not sure your problem emanate from this blog. We've blogged hear for years, and it has given us alot of hope and mental support especially most of us who have had to work in post conflict environments. All the same, after referendum, this blog shed some sense of balancing issues and was taken over by Phil and Taabu and you know what they stand for. hey have removed any semblance of balanced blogging and advocated for violence - oofcourse it came to pass, and Kenya has become worse for that.

All the same Chris, You are a nice guy. Your safety comes fast. Wish you luck wherever you are - but work hard and faster before xenophobia breaks up where you are.
Wishing you all i have always wished myself.

Anonymous said...


Your safety is paramount. Mine is to wish you well - but remember east or west, vumlia kuwa mkenya. Most of us who have been out know its not easy out there.

But all the same, as the blogger above has said - its important you control hate in this blog. Phil, Taabu, Kalamari and Mrembo should help you. They have made this blog less interesting by their advocacy of violence.


Anonymous said...

Mzee, I do not advocate for violence thank you very much! I am against all forms of violence just so that you know. For your information I am not even a contributor to this blog so i dont know what you are talking about-linking me with some of my best contributors here.

All I did, was make a statement (in the comments section, no-less!), one day about how Kenyans I know felt when your friend Kibaki stole elections. If that makes me an advocate of violence-saying the truth, then so be it!


Anonymous said...

run baby run.

Fave said...

Hey Chris,
I sincerely hope you are safe. You run a great blog. There are many blogs on the net. The fact that Kumekucha has survived and thrived is a testament to it relevance.
I pray that you stay safe even if it is for the selfish reason that Kumekucha goes on.

Anonymous said...

Chris be safe

your PS note pretty much sums up the kenya of today

Isn't this just the plain truth

"Have you noticed how after the 2007 general elections the wrong people are on the run while the crooks are being cleared to come back to Kenya to rape some more?"

rephrase to read

"Have you noticed how in Kenya the honest non corrupt people are always on the run while crooks, liars and deceitful characters continue to get favor with political establishments and get further opportunity(ies) to repeatedly rape Kenyans some more?


Phil said...


Bado mapambano. I have NO regrets!

I am here in Kibera, and we are going nowhere. East or West, home is best.

I sympathize with Chris who has opted to live in self imposed exile.

A lot of you readers assume that we propagate violence and negative ethnicity. For lack of better argumant, obviously most of these PANUAist dont read and understand our posts and comments.

If saying the truth will make people send hate mail and threats. SO BE IT! I can only remind Chris these sweet words from our Natinal Anthem:

Haki iwe ngao na mlinzi
Natukae na udugu
Amani na uhuru
Raha tupate na ustawi.

In other words, diasporians who've forgotten their national language

Justice be our shield and defender,
May we dwell in unity,
Peace and liberty.
Plenty be found within our borders.

Anonymous said...

anon4:23 AM
I don't trust you !!when you even touch or mention Chris's family then you are the one who is the PNU MOUTH PIECE AND WHY CHRIS IS ON THE RUN- after going through your posts here- you shamelessly distort information just like martha karua was used to doing on national and international media and you remind me of Watengula with your cheap words!

why don't you pack up and go join Alfred Mutua to post propaganda!! you are a shiate head pnu piece of shiate and you better watch your back too!! we know who and where you are!! two sides can play the same tactic's- seriously some of us do not get scared of kibaki and his goons- we are actually very ready for them to take the next step- then thwy will know what kenyans are about!! watch us- as for you !! use your piece of shiate mouth wisely or you never know!! we also have our spies and guess what...........

Chris- move fast- meanwhile we will watch your back- and keep up the blog the whole world is reading it!! we will keep posting the latests to give Kenyans the news as it starts changing the equation
like we indicated the coalition ain't working and we need our children out of the jails!!

Anonymous said...

Chris? please leave the blog open?? we need to read all the messages immediately- not wait for regulations?? let it be open so that messages or posts can be accessed easily while you are on the move- and we could post you information that you need to keep safe!!

open sesame!! now- let us post and at least make sure you are fine,

Anonymous said...

Was Ted running a blog??

Anonymous said...

Pole sana you have to live this way , thank you for your steadfastness you are like a bro, iam a kumekucha addict , even though i disagree with your views at times you are still my hero , i knew this was coming from the kind of info you have , you are definetly a marked man , but soldier on brother if you need help just give us instruction of how we can help , and remember Jah is alive so do not worry.

Anonymous said...


Have u Heard of the saying

Corruption is the "KEY" to success

only that corruption in Kenya is not used to help Kenyans

Democracy by itself is corruption

You are corrupt by trying to force your ideas into us

Corruption is the mode of modern life ....we dont live according to morals

Look at what is happening in Kenya we dont know who to trust Kibaki or Raila, Ruto or Karua

Today they tell us A but tomorrow its Z ...........aint that corruption??

It all depends on Corruption use it or it uses you

conscience is a factor not a contract once you get that then you will realize youve been corrupt since your birth day .....and from the look of things youve perfected corruption ...............(dont want to be personal so i stop here)

Chicity said...


I hope you and your family find safety and peace of mind. Your commitment to keeping us informed will always be appreciated.


BP ONE said...

KK pole sana, I wish you is sad to note that TELLING THE TRUTH is causing you trouble..KK..Vumilia...and keep up with the Good job you were been doing, I know for sure,it was not eassy and it will never be eassy, but belive me, it's worth doing it....The TRUTH will set this country free one day.

Anonymous said...

I suspect that the same people who raided the std and KTN aka the mumluks and their lot must be the guys after Chris. On paper a country like kenya should be very sucessfull but the reality is quite different. Knenya's best talent is hardly in the country. During Mo1's era lectures left enmass, there was a time when it was said that if the kenya medical association was to call a meeting it would be convient to hold it in Jozi since thats where most of the docs where. We have real genuine problems as a country and clearly we do not have time for ,who has the biggest dick, or who is the dominant tribe. Africa has enemies who will not be happy if we get our act together.....where do we find energy and time to fight one another? It is sad that some people are still scheming to oppress their fellow africans....they will find a natural friend and common cause with outsiders who see Africans as stumbling block to their happy harvest of its natural resources.
This is had battle to fight but it must be fought.....our work is cut out for us we do not have the luxury to hate each other. We must punish and make expensive any form of devisiveness our lives depend on our unity. Kenyans cannot continue to run away and end up as victims of other people's madness. SA has been caught flat footed they have shamed themselves and us. Lets be vigilant.

Sir Alex

Wanjiku Unlimited said...

Kwani what's with Ted Josiah by the way?

Phil said...

Mr Ted Josiah was in-charge of ODM's image and branding in the run-up tot he last general elections. ODM's presidential campaign was divided into several divisions.

Ted actually designed several mass media ODM adverts - the famous one being the 'KAMA SIO DOMO' played by young Swahili student, in response to the DOMO advert by PNU. The other advert was rejected by mainstream media because it was targetting the fearsome first lady and her raid on Nation Newspapers. This advert was published exclusively by Kumekucha courtesy yours trully!

Ted also run the ODM communication HQs from his residence in Lavington. This communication HQs was the engine of ODM propaganda and also the main means of communication with ODM grassroot leaders, when mobile phones were being monitored and the live media ban was still on. After Kibaki's illegal swearing-in, Teds HQs was the one being used for co-ordinating the abortive million man match to state house and also the rallies in Uhuru park which police blocked.

The same HQs in Lavington also run a parallel vote tallying centre on behalf of ODM, and it is data from here that ODM used to .

There is a lot more. For instance, ODM raised huge sums of money from the diaspora through the efforts of people like Ted.

Ted has since sought political asylum in the UK. He had received threats similar to the one's Chris is talking about on this post.

Many other people including mainstream journalists have received threats from people who dont even make an effort to hide their identity. It is pointless to report such threats to police, if you get my drift..

Anonymous said...


Thanks for admitting this for once - It was all propaganda. And Kenyas have paid the price. They are turning in the graves. Good luck

Phil said...

It was all propaganda my @?%

Why do you anony - mices (thank you Kalamari) always want to creat issues out of non issues?

ODM had a solid manifesto based on facts and figures. I do not need to go over the moon to explain to you what political propaganda.

The issue here is why did Ted Josiah have had to seek political assylum, now can you please address that or Just shove off!

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:26am,

Get a life. You are definately in the wrong place. Your display of shalowness gives the word shallow a new depth.

Phill, usikasirike. But i feel you. These are temptations that we shall overcome.

Chris, best wishes and please stay away as long as your conscience is unclear of your security here. Some Kenyans have perfected impunity as their defining trait. I say dont take chances to Chris but also to anyone else who is threatened.


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